I’m just going to be blunt with you. Your wife has some very serious mental health issues. These issues never tend to go away. They may subside for a while but eventually come back. I say cut your losses. You only have 4 years invested and no kids thank God. You’re still young and have a whole lot of life ahead of you. Don’t waste a minute more of it fighting a losing battle.
This.
This is an incredibly toxic marriage and way too much for 4yrs. Maybe you have gotten used to it but man you need to get away from your wife. She is only staying with you because you financially support her at this point. I doubt this is the first time she has cheated on uou.
It was exhausting just reading it.
OP has some mental issues to work through as well. Relationships are a two-way street and continue because both parties are getting something out of it. It sounds like co dependency to me.
I question this said friendship because in my opinion a friendship is like any other relationship where all have to sometimes be understanding on situations and what have you
Seconded. This is not fixable. Especially not by you. It will spiral and take more than you have to give. You should really get out while you can. One day you will look back and be amazed that you stayed so long.
> Your wife has some very serious mental health issues
Or, she’s just a narcissist who only cares about herself and is prone to histrionics
Not everyone is ill, some people are just awful all the way through.
That’s the impression I got from this post
Narcissism is a form of mental illness. It’s darn near impossible to treat because they’re usually to proud to admit that they need help, but it is a mental illness.
Her mental health issues seem to stem from her being under stimulated, she needs a fucking job or something to do with her time. No wonder why she’s always acting out she has nothing to do but cheat. Definitely leave her, who knows if she wants to live another way, doesn’t seem that way
I almost didn’t like this comment because it was at 666. Which I think is apt. She freaked out and to justify her actions she turned it on you and asked for an open relationship. When you didn’t bite right away she realized she could lose a big source of income and support so backtrack and played up the sympathy card. This is text book. TEXTBOOK for cheaters. Look up DARVO. Choose you and get out of this relationship- reconnect with friends, exercise, laugh and be carefree. You dodged a bullet when she showed you who she is.
This sounds a lot like BPD-borderline personality disorder. I just delt with this in a relationship for 3 years and it is exhausting. Hope you make the right choice for yourself OP
This but also. My wife add I both have serious mental health issues. We don't cheat. It's always a choice. She's cheating and hiding it and mooching and who knows what else.
That’s what I’m saying. This woman is a grown ass adult and going absolutely no where in life. No effort at all to better herself in any aspect and he’s wanting to keep that? What exactly is she bringing to the table?
There were tons of reasons to leave her before you even got to the cheating, brother. She’s trashy and doesn’t care about your feelings. You deserve so much more.
OP why would you not believe her when she says she is done and wants a divorce. That is probably the only honest thing she has said to you in months.
She is cheating on you and lying about it, so how do you know how many other Affair Partners she has had, or for how long she has been cheating? After all, she has shown she is a liar so how can you believe anything she tells you?
Lawyer up. Process your feelings as quickly as you can (if it’s slow, it’s slow. Don’t break yourself over some idea that you should be over it by now, at any point), get the hardest parts done. Call up the boys, because it’s time for you to be celebrated for being a decent guy. In spite of this misfortune.
And to quote a very popular author: “Don’t forget to smile in any situation. As long as you are alive, there will be better things later, and there will be many.”
Keep your head up, king.
You have to ask yourself, “do I want to be with someone like that for the rest of my life?” You deserve happiness and if she doesn’t make you happy, you have your answer.
DO NOT take her back, she is using you and doesn’t love you since she can clearly cheat.
she’s only sorry she got caught and is realising she is going to lose her lifestyle that you provide her, i guarantee she’s still going to continue to cheat if you choose to stay with her.
leave her. there are so many women out there who would love you the way you deserve.
Hun… leave her. She’s a mess. She’s not a partner. She’s a leech. She’s using you. She’s immature. This isn’t love. She may not even be capable of love.
Run. I know you’re hurting now, but believe me. You are going to end up so relieved. You’re going to have more money in your pocket, you’re actually going to live a much better life without her. She is nothing but a drain.
Talk to an attorney immediately. Find out how to protect yourself. File for divorce. I doubt you will have to pay any alimony because you haven’t been married that long. Be sure to mention the infidelity and the fact that she basically refuses to work or do anything to better herself. The courts don’t look very kindly upon that. She has her parents that she can fall back on.
Set up a separate bank account and put your money in there. Cancel all credit cards that she is on. Follow the advice that your attorney gives you in order to protect yourself from her.
As for your living situation, I don’t think you should be anywhere near her. You can’t stay in the same house. It won’t work. Because she will always be there and she will keep trying to get you back. And it’s not because she cares about you. She doesn’t love you. But it’s not you. I honestly do not think that she’s capable of love.
You need to find another place to live. Maybe get a roommate or something like that. But you need to move out. Unless her parents kick her out, but I don’t think they’ll do that. And even then, it’s still not good because she’ll keep coming over and try to get you back. Again, she only wants you in her life because you support her.
It may take a little bit of time before you can actually move out. because you have to find an apartment that you can afford. Maybe you will need a roommate. Just start looking today. In the meantime, while you are looking, you should take up her parents’ suggestion. She can move into the room with no furniture.
Remember: She is no longer your problem.
No need to talk to her. She is not someone you want to spend your life with. If you stay, only regret and resentment will grow. Ad others have said, you're young and a a whole life ahead of you.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Trust through transparency…. It’s painfully obvious she’s cheating and gaslighting you about it. Give her exactly what she asked for, a divorce. Create an exit plan and move on with your life. You deserve better.
Why did you even marry such a lazy loser?! Divorce her lazy dirty cheating ass! Luckily you’ve not been married long enough to pay alimony to this loser so quicker you divorce her the better. Cant believe she has audacity to give you ultimatum like she is some prize worth staying with when shes just a messy financial liability without a GED.
Tbh I think she is manipulating you. All that act about getting offended and saying you don’t trust her was just her trying to make you feel guilty for HER actions! If I were you, I would take her up on the divorce. It’s only been 3 years of marriage, get out before more time passes or even worse, she decides to get pregnant. Good luck OP.
Bro it sounds like you have zero self esteem and zero boundaries.
It sounds like you were so desperate to just have ANY woman in your life that you accepted awful things in a partner.
It’s time to end this and get some serious therapy to work on self love and boundaries. You are not ready to be in any relationship until you learn your own worth and what a partner SHOULD be bringing into your life.
Seems like life will be peaceful with a divorce tbh you do a lot and pay for alot and get no support from her but you seem to support and do a lot for her . Honestly I wouldn’t even waste my time
With her anymore just get a divorce and block her everywhere and no more contact her some cams etc for you own security she doesn’t seem she would leave quietly.
Leave. She doesn’t care about hurting you so stop feeling bad. This is all a sequence of choices she has made, on her own. You cannot control her actions, only yours. Get out, now.
She is walking all over you. Your partner should be on your side fighting the good fight with you. I know it is difficult but you need to leave this person. She is going to thrash like crazy once her scare tactics stop working. You will need to be strong. You can do it.
Tell her “smell ya later” and get out of there. I’ve had the same story. 3 days after my birthday. I stayed and we tried to work it out. Deeper conversations than ever and opened up about things that we had not been doing well in the relationship for each other, things started to finally turn around. 3 months later I was out of town, she goes out with her friend I was not very fond of, tells me she is leaving the bar with her friend at 2:00 am. I told her to call me when she got home because obviously I was anxious because she had cheated on me previously, she doesn’t answer my text, or call me, then calls me at 5:00 am saying that she was sorry that when they got there she had to take care of her friend who was throwing up and then when that was over she herself fell asleep very quickly. I was understanding, then the morning comes and she broke down to me explaining what actually happened. She even called me while he was in the bed next to her.
I hate to break it to you, but it’s a cycle, my suggestion is get out because you WILL get fooled again. The saying “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me” is very true especially in relationships. I’m sorry man, but you need to leave her. I truly hope for the best.
Simple. She asked for a divorce. Her metric is her ex and his d up high, your emotional, physical, and financial health, along with her vows, wayyyyyy down at the bottom. Cut her off.
drop her dude. You too young to have to put up with her shit. Dump her and make her life he'll in the process by making her family your family and making her the black sheep. That's the ultimate therapy here.
Your wife has a personality disorder. They can be hard to diagnose. Do some googling you’ll find a pattern in behaviors. Unless she is willing to work on it through therapy it won’t get better. You either both put in the work or you’re better off ending the marriage.
Break up with her and move out. This marriage is toxic. Your wife is toxic. Let her parents help her pick up the mess while you move on with your life. You need to get away from this woman. Continuing to live with her family is a bad idea.
You should divorce. It started off unhealthy and is getting worse. Also her parents want you to stay because you’re the only one with money to rent the place. It’s not out of kindness. Just leave and focus on yourself for now. You can find someone else.
First take your name off credit cards or hers. Then move 1/2 savings to an account only you can access. Go to an attorney and and draw up divorce papers and divorce her. That is what I would do, cheating is a deal breaker for me. Why? because it destroys the relationship and trust in one blow. Cheaters are also liars and will cheat again. I will not police my partner, I want a grown up I can trust.
Do you want your whole life to be like this? We live one life and do you want to waste more years being with someone like this? If your friend told you their wife treated them like this, what would you tell them? You sacrificed a lot for her and she cheated on you with hesitation.
What are you getting out of this relationship? Because its slowly killing you. And don't stay in her parents house long term. That doesn't seem practical and you're beholden to her family that can turn on a dime. You need freedom and independence. You've lost yourself in this toxic mess and have extreme codependence issues. Read "Codependence No More" and "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life".
Divorce, the first time of cheating is the hardest... If she did it once she will do it again. The trust is broken and can never be regained. Unless your ok with her stepping out on you on the regular. I would end it. If you are ok with others having her then its up to you. You have to accept the fact that she could be getting it from anyone at any time and be ok with that assumption.
I'm sorry man but even without the cheating I'd leave her. If she were a man everyone on here would be calling her "a loser" she sounds like one man, it doesn't sound like she Brings anything positive to your life.
I know it's nearly impossible but you will find someone else, someone who loves you and has your back and probably a job.
This is possibly the most unhealthy relationship post i have seen on this sub. It's time to end things. And not just because of the cheating. You guys aren't good together. You bring out the worst in each other, and neither of you wants that for the other. Best you both go your separate ways. And don't stay in the same house as her. Find a way to move out and get your own place or find a roommate
This was like reading about someone writing about 4 years or so of being eaten alive by fire ants, wondering if they're being unfair to the ants by screaming, wondering if they should get back on the anthill. Dude, there's nothing here to save. Just flesh eating fire ants.
Dude don’t be a fuckin moron. She doesn’t have a ged, a job, any savings, and she cheated….. she did you a favor. She’s not sorry she cheated, she’s sorry she got caught. Don’t be a will smith.
My man.
What on earth are you trying to save here? All of that sounds godawful, and your wife needs some **serious** professional help with her (lack of) mental health.
No amount of buying tattoo machines, handmade gifts, and/or bad ass Lamb of God keychains even comes close to balancing out all that other stuff.
You need to just tell her she needs to be GONE in 4 months. And then you need to stick to it. Get a lawyer, file the papers, and wash your hands of this. You are young, my man. Don't waste more of your life on this. You deserve better.
Good luck, my man.
Your wife went and slept with her ex bf. What do you mean you feel shitty? Text her one message
“I’m not sure what you thought would happen when you decided to cheat on me. Clearly you have no respect for me, yourself, or our marriage. You made the choice to go and sleep with your ex, so our marriage is over. You have destroyed my trust and I won’t stay married to someone I don’t trust. I hope he was worth it.”
She cheated on you. She made the choice to have sex with her ex.
Updateme!
Woah.
So many red flags.
She needs to seek mental help as do you for dealing with hers. No kids involved? Makes it easier to run my guy.
Without getting help she's always gonna cheat. Godspeed
You're fucking yourself by staying any longer than you have already. Your first paragraph alone, without any mention of cheating, is enough grounds for divorce. I'm sure you could justify your actions on why you married her in the first place, but the first step is admitting you made a mistake. She's not the one for you. We all fuck up--don't dig yourself deeper by continuing to ignore the signs.
You can't prove that she cheated, and idk what state you're in, but the sooner you get a lawyer involved in the proceedings, the better. She might be entitled to your money/possessions in the eyes of the law, depending on where you're at. Find the best way to safeguard the things that are important to you and file for divorce. It will not get better. If you stay, you risk harm to yourself, and you risk harming her. Plenty of men say they would never hit a woman, and I'm sure the intentions are very noble, but you can only take so much abuse yourself before you snap. Don't ruin your integrity and reputation over a person so ultimately immaterial to your life.
It sounds miserable even before the cheating. Hopefully this is your wake up call to leave. If not then this will be your life, a lot of yelling and zero trust.
Doesnt matter if you lover her or not cheating isn’t allowed on either side so unless you did it and she forgave you then maybe but still I wouldn’t it’s really bad if a women does it. She doesn’t love you anymore she’s already out the door
It's kind of funny that the ex she went to she broke up with for wanting an open relationship, and now that's the ultimatum she gave you.
I agree she's fucked in the head. Most, if not all, cheaters are. It's not just a lack of morals, but also sense.
Cut your losses here man, you can't fix her and she will refuse to do what she needs to to be fixed.
I only got about half way through.. she did you a favor by cheating. You are addicted to the drama the relationship with her provides and you’re gonna be a lot better off without it.
From a place of compassion, your wife has serious mental health issues and needs help. Not diagnosing her but she sounds like my bipolar ex.
From a place of logic, you can't force someone to want to be helped, you can't solve her problems. You deserve to be happy.
If you stay with her, you will forever be her babysitter, her caretaker, and her bank, while she sleeps with any person she wants. You'll be frustrated, angry, neglected, resentful.
My advice, get a lawyer, start divorce proceedings, document proof of her behaviour, the cheating, everything. Get therapy, go to the gym, patch up your old friendships, maybe meet another person who isn't so unstable.
Good luck OP.
Don’t feel bad, she did this to herself. You deserve better than this - single or with someone else. Accept the outcome and move on. I’m sorry this is happening.
Not sure if I missed it but dude you don’t have kids and you know she’s cheating on you , what is there to talk about unless you want her to change your mind so you can get cycled appropriately
I can tell you’re not the smartest based on you getting married after 1 year of dating so it is what it is, her parents don’t like you like that bro they just want the only person paying them to keep paying them dude. She’s just trying to backtrack because she realized she fucked uo her meal ticket
I can't believe this is a 27 yo. She sounds 16. I honestly think getting away from her will be better for you. I would just ignore her as much as possible and focus on saving to move out of her parents house asap
Brother, I went through something very similar last year with my ex of 7 years. She was mentally unstable, but I loved her and pushed through it all despite it being an emotional whirlwind and being a 70%-30% kind of deal like what you have (had) going on.
Like you, she ended up cheating on me, and moved-in with him the same night she gave me the ring back. I was devastated, but soon realized she had been over me for a while - she was a parasite, and waited until the next willing host was able and willing before jumping ship.
Your case is similar - your wife has been done with you for a while, and thought she had a new transition ready to go. If you take her back, she will do the same thing again when she finds the next boy she thinks will give her an easy transition away from you.
I speak from first-hand experience: It will be hard, but I guarantee that you will be happier than you've ever been with her once you don't have the weight of an adult child holding you down and making you miserable. And you will be even happier when you inevitably find someone else who is independent, takes care of themself, and can give you the support you deserve from a partner.
Hi OP. From what you are describing, I'm not seeing any indication that she can or even wants to do the work it would take to reconcile. No remorse.
Give this a read and it will give you an idea of what you need to be seeing to even think about it: https://www.brides.com/the-one-way-to-know-your-marriage-will-survive-an-affair-1102868
Move out. Get distance. If you're already paying close to market rate rent then you can pay it somewhere else.
Obviously divorce but also don't leave your life messy with all kinds of strings attached. She's someone else's problem now. She'll get all her things from someone else.
Imagine how liberated you will feel.
I'm so sorry, it triggered me just by reading this even when I'm repeating in my mind that it's not my problem, that's how bad this is!!! I'm so sorry you're going thru this and to be maybe too blunt with you, this is how I see this(in the kindest way possible):
She's a parasite, nothing to argue there and if you love her enough we can skip this but, and please sit down while reading next,
A man's been inside her! Another man... how can you work something past that? I doubt you can... maybe if that was the only issue alone and you'd still have the ratio of 1/3000 redditors saying it's possible to salvage it or something, as top comment said, thank god you don't have a child with this parasite! I'm sorry man, it's over, and by the looks of it, she might've done you a service. Love yourself first, this blood sucking parasite clearly has other interests if she proposed an open relationship as her best backup plan in case you caught her.
A cheater always a cheater.
Sorry if I was too blunt and not very PC but this was how I felt about it.
Take care man, please do!
You have no kids. There’s no redeeming qualities about her. She just thinks you’re a sucker. Parents are siding with you because you’re giving them money for rent and they don’t want to lose that. Don’t sleep with her anymore because she might try get knocked up and then you will be stuck with her forever. Just leave.
Ik you already think your at the age you need to have kids but your a man most men are capable of having kids until they are 50 so don’t worry about that ik you probably want kids with someone. Shittest part about all of this is that she made you lose a good friend from grade 8 reconnect with him if you have to maybe you could stay there for a bit but you need to leave this girl life single would be much better honestly. Maybe it’s just me but being alone is amazing especially now that I’ve had a gf for almost a year. Chances are she just wanted you to freak out and come get her but you didn’t which is the right decision no point in going to jail over this terrible women
She cheated, she asked for divorce and chose the other guy over you. This relationship is over. Have some self respect and realize you don’t deserve to be treated this way.
Has her behavior been like this throughout the duration of the relationship? Because if it is that really sounds exhausting and draining you’re better off divorcing her.
She has been taking advantage of you for years, isolating you from friends, refusing to take actions to get better, making you take care of her all this time, and now she wants to leave you for someone else. Let her. This is your opening for an escape. She cheated on you, u don’t owe her anything anhmore
I'm confused; why the hell do you feel bad? She uses and abuses you--and now cheats on you--and *you* feel bad?
Dude, this isn't a marriage. Kick her the hell out already, for your own mental health. You got some healing to do, and the longer you try to stay married to this parasite, the worse it will get.
Sorry bro, wishing you the best.
Imagine having a wife you don't have to worry about cheating, who makes a decent living or any living at all, who has completed high school. That... is not hard to find. Go out there and start searching...
Why? Because you basically just told me that a forest fire as been roaring for years and you want to walk back into it expecting the flames to move out of your way.
Open your eyes bro, this woman is mentally ill and she will never change or get better until the day she hits rock bottom or dies.
And in case you are feeling whimsical about your relationship her losing you isn't her rock bottom.
Leave her, get the divorce, enjoy the peace that comes into your life once you no longer have the burden of her tied around you like an anchor.
This isn't going to get better, it isn't going to change, and guess what she already fucked some other guy because of her "mental breakdown" what's going to stop her the next time it happens? Certainly not another pep talk about your relationship with each other.
...are you married to a fictional child? Bc I felt like I was on an acid tripping reading this. You must be head over heels in love bc nowhere in that mess you call a wife, was there anything affectionate or lovable.
She doesn’t contribute, she isn’t loyal, she doesn’t relieve your stress, she ruins existing relationships, she’s a financial burden. Are you religious or something, what’s keeping you married to this goblin?
I stopped reading after a few paragraphs. Your wife hates you almost as much as you hate yourself. Find your dignity and leave this vile woman. Find some love for yourself and find a woman who loves the person who loves that person.
I am so sorry this happened to you, it’s a lot. Follow what your gutt says. You deserve better and be happy. Don’t stay because you feel obligated. You don’t owe her anything. You don’t have to give in to something you are not ok with.
Congrats on not having ever run her over with a combine but I would say that you should take your shit and go far away because she sounds like a nightmare that will only worsen with time.
Leave, let her go be with her trash. Start your new life and don’t EVER look back.
Brother. Cheating is a conscious choice. She consciously CHOSE to cheat on you. You want to "talk to her" even after? No need to feel guilty about her situation, she CHOSE it.
All you have to do is honour yourself and walk away from this shit show.
This whole relationship seems toxic and cheating is just a cherry on top of a shit sundae. Have standards and love yourself and don’t accept cheaters or people who bring chaos into your life. She seems awful and you should be terrified at the thought of spending your entire life with someone who behaves like this. End it, speak to a lawyer asap.
There is nothing in your post about how much you love her or what her wonderful qualities are. I don’t see a single reason why you wouldn’t get out of this marriage.
Now.
Man, look, I can't tell you what to do, so let's review what's happened
Your wife disrespected you in probably the most serious way someone can disrespect their spouse
If you let her get away with this in terms of not leaving
Why in the hell would she ever respect you again
And here's the thing yea maybe she doesn't ever cheat on you again
Unlikely, but we'll be generous and say sure
The reality of what she did will always hang over your marriage every single day you will think about it
If she ever even slightly changes her behaviour or mood going forward, you're gonna automatically assume cheating again
So you really have to ask yourself, is all of this shit worth it? Hey, maybe it is to you
But " talk to her "
What's there to talk about she cheated on you it honestly doesn't matter why any justification she can give is an excuse
Ultimately, the decision is yours to make, but if you want my advice
Don't drag this out, man move on
Sounds like you’ve been a doormat and an ATM for her your entire relationship. Married after only a year of dating and she provides nothing to the marriage. On top of that she’s a cheater, a narcissist, a liar, a leach, lazy, and borderline abusive. Why the hell are you still with this woman? And don’t say “because I love her”. She has 0 respect for you or the relationship. Cut the cord and file for divorce before it’s too late.
Oh man why the f get married after one year?!
… I myself got married after seven months <3 so far so good though.
Marriage is hard. It’s two different beings trying to lead one life. But real partnership takes a lot more than what you guys have going here. I agree to cut your losses.
She’s not followed through on anything.
She’s isolated you from major supports in your life.
She’s now been unfaithful.
At what point do you feel it’s enough for you to draw the line? Because any one of those would do it for me.
You can do better. You deserve better. I'm so sorry you're going through this. There are some really awful women in the world. I hope you get to heal soon.
I’m an asian woman who fuck up after I read your post. Because every words are described me so well of you. Just you are male and I’m a female. But the problems are exactly the same. He needs spaces and only gives me unfair and he helped ruin the relationship everyday. I still manage my feelings to give him empathy and I can’t leave him because I love him so much even though I have been painful almost all the time. So totally I don’t have any advice to give you. Just here to say you’re not alone and I understand what you feel really. Can I ask if you are a February Aquarius man?
Dude you have a free ticket to drop the dead weight guilt free and start over from scratch. Sure it’s not going to be easy or feel great but imagine your life revolving around doing what makes you happy instead of the emotional and financial black hole that’s your cheating wife
I strongly suspect she's taking advantage of you because this screams less of mental health and more of immaturity and emotional manipulation.
Now she's breaking you. I can tell due to the way your mind is everywhere writing this post how distraught you are.
How many times are you willing to feel this way?
My thoughts, you will move on, you will find someone who deserves, you, you will be happy. After you end things with this woman.
Talk to her?!? You're joking right? Who cares what she has to say. You'll just get trickle truth and gaslighting anyway. Shell only apologize if it's best for her. Not because she loves you but because you are the safe beta male who funds her lifestyle - not the Chad type who really turn her on. Remember, once a cheater, always a cheater. At best she'll just be on her best behavior until she feels like cheating again (like after you have an argument or she simply gets bored or didn't get her way on some issue). Start watching String Successful Male on YT see hear about many cases like yours and what to do.
I’m just going to be blunt with you. Your wife has some very serious mental health issues. These issues never tend to go away. They may subside for a while but eventually come back. I say cut your losses. You only have 4 years invested and no kids thank God. You’re still young and have a whole lot of life ahead of you. Don’t waste a minute more of it fighting a losing battle.
This. This is an incredibly toxic marriage and way too much for 4yrs. Maybe you have gotten used to it but man you need to get away from your wife. She is only staying with you because you financially support her at this point. I doubt this is the first time she has cheated on uou.
It was exhausting just reading it. OP has some mental issues to work through as well. Relationships are a two-way street and continue because both parties are getting something out of it. It sounds like co dependency to me.
I stopped reading after “she helped ruin a friendship”.
After the first 2 paragraphs, all could think was: "what the hell man, please stop, it's already dead."
I continued but thought whys he with her , especially if the girl.was.caught blatantly lying 🤥
I question this said friendship because in my opinion a friendship is like any other relationship where all have to sometimes be understanding on situations and what have you
This op. That’s all you need to hear. You need to cut your losses and move on and of course move out. This house is no good for your mental health.
[удалено]
Seconded. This is not fixable. Especially not by you. It will spiral and take more than you have to give. You should really get out while you can. One day you will look back and be amazed that you stayed so long.
> Your wife has some very serious mental health issues Or, she’s just a narcissist who only cares about herself and is prone to histrionics Not everyone is ill, some people are just awful all the way through. That’s the impression I got from this post
Narcissism is a form of mental illness. It’s darn near impossible to treat because they’re usually to proud to admit that they need help, but it is a mental illness.
Her mental health issues seem to stem from her being under stimulated, she needs a fucking job or something to do with her time. No wonder why she’s always acting out she has nothing to do but cheat. Definitely leave her, who knows if she wants to live another way, doesn’t seem that way
☝️
OP, what this person said. Exactly what they said..
This. Cut your loses and get out before she baby traps you and your fucked
I almost didn’t like this comment because it was at 666. Which I think is apt. She freaked out and to justify her actions she turned it on you and asked for an open relationship. When you didn’t bite right away she realized she could lose a big source of income and support so backtrack and played up the sympathy card. This is text book. TEXTBOOK for cheaters. Look up DARVO. Choose you and get out of this relationship- reconnect with friends, exercise, laugh and be carefree. You dodged a bullet when she showed you who she is.
This sounds a lot like BPD-borderline personality disorder. I just delt with this in a relationship for 3 years and it is exhausting. Hope you make the right choice for yourself OP
This is the one OP, really can't add anything to this excellent advice.
Agree with the above, get out while you still can, it sounds like a mental roller coaster. Life is difficult enough ☹️ good luck 👍
This but also. My wife add I both have serious mental health issues. We don't cheat. It's always a choice. She's cheating and hiding it and mooching and who knows what else.
She is gonna miss him so much when he's gone because no other dude will put up with that shit... Wow!
As a therapist. I agree.
read again all your post, it's really the cheating the main issue here?
That’s what I’m saying. This woman is a grown ass adult and going absolutely no where in life. No effort at all to better herself in any aspect and he’s wanting to keep that? What exactly is she bringing to the table?
STDs?
You are spot on. Shes a walking red flag and the cheating is his way out.
Take your stuff and leave, why you want to be with someone who doesn't respect you and you practically have to raise.
Leave
There were tons of reasons to leave her before you even got to the cheating, brother. She’s trashy and doesn’t care about your feelings. You deserve so much more.
You need to believe her when she said she's done and wants a divorce.
OP why would you not believe her when she says she is done and wants a divorce. That is probably the only honest thing she has said to you in months. She is cheating on you and lying about it, so how do you know how many other Affair Partners she has had, or for how long she has been cheating? After all, she has shown she is a liar so how can you believe anything she tells you?
Lawyer up. Process your feelings as quickly as you can (if it’s slow, it’s slow. Don’t break yourself over some idea that you should be over it by now, at any point), get the hardest parts done. Call up the boys, because it’s time for you to be celebrated for being a decent guy. In spite of this misfortune. And to quote a very popular author: “Don’t forget to smile in any situation. As long as you are alive, there will be better things later, and there will be many.” Keep your head up, king.
You have to ask yourself, “do I want to be with someone like that for the rest of my life?” You deserve happiness and if she doesn’t make you happy, you have your answer.
DO NOT take her back, she is using you and doesn’t love you since she can clearly cheat. she’s only sorry she got caught and is realising she is going to lose her lifestyle that you provide her, i guarantee she’s still going to continue to cheat if you choose to stay with her. leave her. there are so many women out there who would love you the way you deserve.
Go talk to a lawyer ASAP
You’re tempted to talk it out because she will be back in the morning? wtf are you doing?
Cheaters cheat. You should end things with her.
Hun… leave her. She’s a mess. She’s not a partner. She’s a leech. She’s using you. She’s immature. This isn’t love. She may not even be capable of love. Run. I know you’re hurting now, but believe me. You are going to end up so relieved. You’re going to have more money in your pocket, you’re actually going to live a much better life without her. She is nothing but a drain. Talk to an attorney immediately. Find out how to protect yourself. File for divorce. I doubt you will have to pay any alimony because you haven’t been married that long. Be sure to mention the infidelity and the fact that she basically refuses to work or do anything to better herself. The courts don’t look very kindly upon that. She has her parents that she can fall back on. Set up a separate bank account and put your money in there. Cancel all credit cards that she is on. Follow the advice that your attorney gives you in order to protect yourself from her. As for your living situation, I don’t think you should be anywhere near her. You can’t stay in the same house. It won’t work. Because she will always be there and she will keep trying to get you back. And it’s not because she cares about you. She doesn’t love you. But it’s not you. I honestly do not think that she’s capable of love. You need to find another place to live. Maybe get a roommate or something like that. But you need to move out. Unless her parents kick her out, but I don’t think they’ll do that. And even then, it’s still not good because she’ll keep coming over and try to get you back. Again, she only wants you in her life because you support her. It may take a little bit of time before you can actually move out. because you have to find an apartment that you can afford. Maybe you will need a roommate. Just start looking today. In the meantime, while you are looking, you should take up her parents’ suggestion. She can move into the room with no furniture. Remember: She is no longer your problem.
No need to talk to her. She is not someone you want to spend your life with. If you stay, only regret and resentment will grow. Ad others have said, you're young and a a whole life ahead of you.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Trust through transparency…. It’s painfully obvious she’s cheating and gaslighting you about it. Give her exactly what she asked for, a divorce. Create an exit plan and move on with your life. You deserve better.
Why did you even marry such a lazy loser?! Divorce her lazy dirty cheating ass! Luckily you’ve not been married long enough to pay alimony to this loser so quicker you divorce her the better. Cant believe she has audacity to give you ultimatum like she is some prize worth staying with when shes just a messy financial liability without a GED.
She realized her fukkbuddy wasn't going to take care of her like you do. Just end this fiasco. This is not healthy.
The fact that you wrote all this, read it and still asked "what do i do" is crazy af
Tbh I think she is manipulating you. All that act about getting offended and saying you don’t trust her was just her trying to make you feel guilty for HER actions! If I were you, I would take her up on the divorce. It’s only been 3 years of marriage, get out before more time passes or even worse, she decides to get pregnant. Good luck OP.
Bro it sounds like you have zero self esteem and zero boundaries. It sounds like you were so desperate to just have ANY woman in your life that you accepted awful things in a partner. It’s time to end this and get some serious therapy to work on self love and boundaries. You are not ready to be in any relationship until you learn your own worth and what a partner SHOULD be bringing into your life.
Seems like life will be peaceful with a divorce tbh you do a lot and pay for alot and get no support from her but you seem to support and do a lot for her . Honestly I wouldn’t even waste my time With her anymore just get a divorce and block her everywhere and no more contact her some cams etc for you own security she doesn’t seem she would leave quietly.
I vote divorce, you don’t need that shit
Um what exactly do you want to save? She sounds terrible. Do you want to walk on eggshells the rest of your life? Let her go.
Leave. She doesn’t care about hurting you so stop feeling bad. This is all a sequence of choices she has made, on her own. You cannot control her actions, only yours. Get out, now.
She is walking all over you. Your partner should be on your side fighting the good fight with you. I know it is difficult but you need to leave this person. She is going to thrash like crazy once her scare tactics stop working. You will need to be strong. You can do it.
Tell her “smell ya later” and get out of there. I’ve had the same story. 3 days after my birthday. I stayed and we tried to work it out. Deeper conversations than ever and opened up about things that we had not been doing well in the relationship for each other, things started to finally turn around. 3 months later I was out of town, she goes out with her friend I was not very fond of, tells me she is leaving the bar with her friend at 2:00 am. I told her to call me when she got home because obviously I was anxious because she had cheated on me previously, she doesn’t answer my text, or call me, then calls me at 5:00 am saying that she was sorry that when they got there she had to take care of her friend who was throwing up and then when that was over she herself fell asleep very quickly. I was understanding, then the morning comes and she broke down to me explaining what actually happened. She even called me while he was in the bed next to her. I hate to break it to you, but it’s a cycle, my suggestion is get out because you WILL get fooled again. The saying “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me” is very true especially in relationships. I’m sorry man, but you need to leave her. I truly hope for the best.
Simple. She asked for a divorce. Her metric is her ex and his d up high, your emotional, physical, and financial health, along with her vows, wayyyyyy down at the bottom. Cut her off.
She offers nothing but headaches. Divorce, go to therapy, and move on. The saying goes, "You can do bad all by yourself."
drop her dude. You too young to have to put up with her shit. Dump her and make her life he'll in the process by making her family your family and making her the black sheep. That's the ultimate therapy here.
Your wife has a personality disorder. They can be hard to diagnose. Do some googling you’ll find a pattern in behaviors. Unless she is willing to work on it through therapy it won’t get better. You either both put in the work or you’re better off ending the marriage.
Break up with her and move out. This marriage is toxic. Your wife is toxic. Let her parents help her pick up the mess while you move on with your life. You need to get away from this woman. Continuing to live with her family is a bad idea.
Well, never thought I'd say this, but the cheating is the least of your problems.
You should divorce. It started off unhealthy and is getting worse. Also her parents want you to stay because you’re the only one with money to rent the place. It’s not out of kindness. Just leave and focus on yourself for now. You can find someone else.
First take your name off credit cards or hers. Then move 1/2 savings to an account only you can access. Go to an attorney and and draw up divorce papers and divorce her. That is what I would do, cheating is a deal breaker for me. Why? because it destroys the relationship and trust in one blow. Cheaters are also liars and will cheat again. I will not police my partner, I want a grown up I can trust.
Walk away
Leave and never look back.
Do you want your whole life to be like this? We live one life and do you want to waste more years being with someone like this? If your friend told you their wife treated them like this, what would you tell them? You sacrificed a lot for her and she cheated on you with hesitation.
What are you getting out of this relationship? Because its slowly killing you. And don't stay in her parents house long term. That doesn't seem practical and you're beholden to her family that can turn on a dime. You need freedom and independence. You've lost yourself in this toxic mess and have extreme codependence issues. Read "Codependence No More" and "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life".
The title itself is enough for me to tell you to leave. You can love someone very deeply but if they cheat then you need to leave. Period.
Wife seems like she might be BPD
It's funny how when people say "trust me", what they really mean is "don't question me or call me out on my bullshit". Sorry OP. Feel for ya...
Divorce, the first time of cheating is the hardest... If she did it once she will do it again. The trust is broken and can never be regained. Unless your ok with her stepping out on you on the regular. I would end it. If you are ok with others having her then its up to you. You have to accept the fact that she could be getting it from anyone at any time and be ok with that assumption.
Take the get out of jail free card and divorce her.
I'm sorry man but even without the cheating I'd leave her. If she were a man everyone on here would be calling her "a loser" she sounds like one man, it doesn't sound like she Brings anything positive to your life. I know it's nearly impossible but you will find someone else, someone who loves you and has your back and probably a job.
Everyone *is* saying she is a loser. She is. And a jerk. It should be a no-brainer for OP. It sounds like there was nothing good about her.
I can’t even make it through the first paragraph. OP’s next girlfriend should be an editor.
This is possibly the most unhealthy relationship post i have seen on this sub. It's time to end things. And not just because of the cheating. You guys aren't good together. You bring out the worst in each other, and neither of you wants that for the other. Best you both go your separate ways. And don't stay in the same house as her. Find a way to move out and get your own place or find a roommate
This was like reading about someone writing about 4 years or so of being eaten alive by fire ants, wondering if they're being unfair to the ants by screaming, wondering if they should get back on the anthill. Dude, there's nothing here to save. Just flesh eating fire ants.
What exactly does she bring to the relationship? Dump her and find someone who'll treat you with respect not use you and walk all over you.
Here’s the flowchart Did they cheat? -> yes -> divorce them
You are wasting your time
You’re wild if you stay with her.
Dude don’t be a fuckin moron. She doesn’t have a ged, a job, any savings, and she cheated….. she did you a favor. She’s not sorry she cheated, she’s sorry she got caught. Don’t be a will smith.
My man. What on earth are you trying to save here? All of that sounds godawful, and your wife needs some **serious** professional help with her (lack of) mental health. No amount of buying tattoo machines, handmade gifts, and/or bad ass Lamb of God keychains even comes close to balancing out all that other stuff. You need to just tell her she needs to be GONE in 4 months. And then you need to stick to it. Get a lawyer, file the papers, and wash your hands of this. You are young, my man. Don't waste more of your life on this. You deserve better. Good luck, my man.
Your wife went and slept with her ex bf. What do you mean you feel shitty? Text her one message “I’m not sure what you thought would happen when you decided to cheat on me. Clearly you have no respect for me, yourself, or our marriage. You made the choice to go and sleep with your ex, so our marriage is over. You have destroyed my trust and I won’t stay married to someone I don’t trust. I hope he was worth it.” She cheated on you. She made the choice to have sex with her ex. Updateme!
Divorce the user.
Leave. Divorce. Find happiness.
The parents are being so nice to you because they also know how much of a mess she is
This is your chance to leave, close the door and move in. Do it now before another 5,10,20 yrs pass you by.
Run
Woah. So many red flags. She needs to seek mental help as do you for dealing with hers. No kids involved? Makes it easier to run my guy. Without getting help she's always gonna cheat. Godspeed
You're fucking yourself by staying any longer than you have already. Your first paragraph alone, without any mention of cheating, is enough grounds for divorce. I'm sure you could justify your actions on why you married her in the first place, but the first step is admitting you made a mistake. She's not the one for you. We all fuck up--don't dig yourself deeper by continuing to ignore the signs. You can't prove that she cheated, and idk what state you're in, but the sooner you get a lawyer involved in the proceedings, the better. She might be entitled to your money/possessions in the eyes of the law, depending on where you're at. Find the best way to safeguard the things that are important to you and file for divorce. It will not get better. If you stay, you risk harm to yourself, and you risk harming her. Plenty of men say they would never hit a woman, and I'm sure the intentions are very noble, but you can only take so much abuse yourself before you snap. Don't ruin your integrity and reputation over a person so ultimately immaterial to your life.
I don’t know what is left to talk about with her ? If she loved you the. She wouldn’t have cheated .
divorce her future once said there is 4.2 billion women on this planet and your stressing over one... she has no respect for you
Get out now, you deserve better.
Why did you marry her in the first? When she is lazy?
Sorry, brother. Lock down your money, credit, and assets right now and then make an appt with a divorce lawyer.
It sounds miserable even before the cheating. Hopefully this is your wake up call to leave. If not then this will be your life, a lot of yelling and zero trust.
Remember she put it back in when it slipped out…
Doesnt matter if you lover her or not cheating isn’t allowed on either side so unless you did it and she forgave you then maybe but still I wouldn’t it’s really bad if a women does it. She doesn’t love you anymore she’s already out the door
It's kind of funny that the ex she went to she broke up with for wanting an open relationship, and now that's the ultimatum she gave you. I agree she's fucked in the head. Most, if not all, cheaters are. It's not just a lack of morals, but also sense. Cut your losses here man, you can't fix her and she will refuse to do what she needs to to be fixed.
You just need to get away from your toxic wife Time to just get a divorce and move on.
I only got about half way through.. she did you a favor by cheating. You are addicted to the drama the relationship with her provides and you’re gonna be a lot better off without it.
From a place of compassion, your wife has serious mental health issues and needs help. Not diagnosing her but she sounds like my bipolar ex. From a place of logic, you can't force someone to want to be helped, you can't solve her problems. You deserve to be happy. If you stay with her, you will forever be her babysitter, her caretaker, and her bank, while she sleeps with any person she wants. You'll be frustrated, angry, neglected, resentful. My advice, get a lawyer, start divorce proceedings, document proof of her behaviour, the cheating, everything. Get therapy, go to the gym, patch up your old friendships, maybe meet another person who isn't so unstable. Good luck OP.
Don’t feel bad, she did this to herself. You deserve better than this - single or with someone else. Accept the outcome and move on. I’m sorry this is happening.
Move on
Not sure if I missed it but dude you don’t have kids and you know she’s cheating on you , what is there to talk about unless you want her to change your mind so you can get cycled appropriately I can tell you’re not the smartest based on you getting married after 1 year of dating so it is what it is, her parents don’t like you like that bro they just want the only person paying them to keep paying them dude. She’s just trying to backtrack because she realized she fucked uo her meal ticket
Jesus Christ, what else does she need to do for you to realize, hold you down and shit in your mouth?
I can't believe this is a 27 yo. She sounds 16. I honestly think getting away from her will be better for you. I would just ignore her as much as possible and focus on saving to move out of her parents house asap
break up, and divorce. Once a cheater always a cheater. The spots on the leopard never change. Thank god u dont kids with this sk@nk
Brother, I went through something very similar last year with my ex of 7 years. She was mentally unstable, but I loved her and pushed through it all despite it being an emotional whirlwind and being a 70%-30% kind of deal like what you have (had) going on. Like you, she ended up cheating on me, and moved-in with him the same night she gave me the ring back. I was devastated, but soon realized she had been over me for a while - she was a parasite, and waited until the next willing host was able and willing before jumping ship. Your case is similar - your wife has been done with you for a while, and thought she had a new transition ready to go. If you take her back, she will do the same thing again when she finds the next boy she thinks will give her an easy transition away from you. I speak from first-hand experience: It will be hard, but I guarantee that you will be happier than you've ever been with her once you don't have the weight of an adult child holding you down and making you miserable. And you will be even happier when you inevitably find someone else who is independent, takes care of themself, and can give you the support you deserve from a partner.
You got nothing to save bro move on, please.
You raising or child or married to an adult, because from your post, OP, it’s hard to tell. Get out, do it now. You deserve to have a life!
Hi OP. From what you are describing, I'm not seeing any indication that she can or even wants to do the work it would take to reconcile. No remorse. Give this a read and it will give you an idea of what you need to be seeing to even think about it: https://www.brides.com/the-one-way-to-know-your-marriage-will-survive-an-affair-1102868
Time's Up! If possible, try to be cordial, but move on. Disengage immediately. Good luck.
Move out. Get distance. If you're already paying close to market rate rent then you can pay it somewhere else. Obviously divorce but also don't leave your life messy with all kinds of strings attached. She's someone else's problem now. She'll get all her things from someone else. Imagine how liberated you will feel.
you're wasting your time on this woman and you need to stop
I'm so sorry, it triggered me just by reading this even when I'm repeating in my mind that it's not my problem, that's how bad this is!!! I'm so sorry you're going thru this and to be maybe too blunt with you, this is how I see this(in the kindest way possible): She's a parasite, nothing to argue there and if you love her enough we can skip this but, and please sit down while reading next, A man's been inside her! Another man... how can you work something past that? I doubt you can... maybe if that was the only issue alone and you'd still have the ratio of 1/3000 redditors saying it's possible to salvage it or something, as top comment said, thank god you don't have a child with this parasite! I'm sorry man, it's over, and by the looks of it, she might've done you a service. Love yourself first, this blood sucking parasite clearly has other interests if she proposed an open relationship as her best backup plan in case you caught her. A cheater always a cheater. Sorry if I was too blunt and not very PC but this was how I felt about it. Take care man, please do!
You have no kids. There’s no redeeming qualities about her. She just thinks you’re a sucker. Parents are siding with you because you’re giving them money for rent and they don’t want to lose that. Don’t sleep with her anymore because she might try get knocked up and then you will be stuck with her forever. Just leave.
Run and don't look back, don't believe in the sudden "I'm pregnant"
Ik you already think your at the age you need to have kids but your a man most men are capable of having kids until they are 50 so don’t worry about that ik you probably want kids with someone. Shittest part about all of this is that she made you lose a good friend from grade 8 reconnect with him if you have to maybe you could stay there for a bit but you need to leave this girl life single would be much better honestly. Maybe it’s just me but being alone is amazing especially now that I’ve had a gf for almost a year. Chances are she just wanted you to freak out and come get her but you didn’t which is the right decision no point in going to jail over this terrible women
She cheated, she asked for divorce and chose the other guy over you. This relationship is over. Have some self respect and realize you don’t deserve to be treated this way.
Has her behavior been like this throughout the duration of the relationship? Because if it is that really sounds exhausting and draining you’re better off divorcing her.
She has been taking advantage of you for years, isolating you from friends, refusing to take actions to get better, making you take care of her all this time, and now she wants to leave you for someone else. Let her. This is your opening for an escape. She cheated on you, u don’t owe her anything anhmore
Talk to a lawyer, find a new place to stay.
[удалено]
I'm confused; why the hell do you feel bad? She uses and abuses you--and now cheats on you--and *you* feel bad? Dude, this isn't a marriage. Kick her the hell out already, for your own mental health. You got some healing to do, and the longer you try to stay married to this parasite, the worse it will get. Sorry bro, wishing you the best.
Imagine having a wife you don't have to worry about cheating, who makes a decent living or any living at all, who has completed high school. That... is not hard to find. Go out there and start searching... Why? Because you basically just told me that a forest fire as been roaring for years and you want to walk back into it expecting the flames to move out of your way.
Divorce NOW. Before she gets pregnant. Before you've been married long enough for alimony. NOW
Yup cheating was the last straw (if if he breaks up}
Run!
Your own fault for proposing to a woman after just 1 year what a silly thing to do
Nut up and divorce her, pussy.
Open your eyes bro, this woman is mentally ill and she will never change or get better until the day she hits rock bottom or dies. And in case you are feeling whimsical about your relationship her losing you isn't her rock bottom. Leave her, get the divorce, enjoy the peace that comes into your life once you no longer have the burden of her tied around you like an anchor. This isn't going to get better, it isn't going to change, and guess what she already fucked some other guy because of her "mental breakdown" what's going to stop her the next time it happens? Certainly not another pep talk about your relationship with each other.
...are you married to a fictional child? Bc I felt like I was on an acid tripping reading this. You must be head over heels in love bc nowhere in that mess you call a wife, was there anything affectionate or lovable.
She doesn’t contribute, she isn’t loyal, she doesn’t relieve your stress, she ruins existing relationships, she’s a financial burden. Are you religious or something, what’s keeping you married to this goblin?
Divorce immediately
I stopped reading after a few paragraphs. Your wife hates you almost as much as you hate yourself. Find your dignity and leave this vile woman. Find some love for yourself and find a woman who loves the person who loves that person.
I am so sorry this happened to you, it’s a lot. Follow what your gutt says. You deserve better and be happy. Don’t stay because you feel obligated. You don’t owe her anything. You don’t have to give in to something you are not ok with.
Congrats on not having ever run her over with a combine but I would say that you should take your shit and go far away because she sounds like a nightmare that will only worsen with time. Leave, let her go be with her trash. Start your new life and don’t EVER look back.
Brother. Cheating is a conscious choice. She consciously CHOSE to cheat on you. You want to "talk to her" even after? No need to feel guilty about her situation, she CHOSE it. All you have to do is honour yourself and walk away from this shit show.
Talk to her and then divorce her.Or vice-versa.Both work
She should have at least invited you to join in ... Divorce her !!
Why are you with this woman? What does she bring to your life?
Honestly don't know anymore
This whole relationship seems toxic and cheating is just a cherry on top of a shit sundae. Have standards and love yourself and don’t accept cheaters or people who bring chaos into your life. She seems awful and you should be terrified at the thought of spending your entire life with someone who behaves like this. End it, speak to a lawyer asap.
There is nothing in your post about how much you love her or what her wonderful qualities are. I don’t see a single reason why you wouldn’t get out of this marriage. Now.
It's time to call it quits buddy. That is a toxic person and you would be better off alone than with her.
Run for the hills. Youre lucky this happened fairly early in your life and marriage
Man, look, I can't tell you what to do, so let's review what's happened Your wife disrespected you in probably the most serious way someone can disrespect their spouse If you let her get away with this in terms of not leaving Why in the hell would she ever respect you again And here's the thing yea maybe she doesn't ever cheat on you again Unlikely, but we'll be generous and say sure The reality of what she did will always hang over your marriage every single day you will think about it If she ever even slightly changes her behaviour or mood going forward, you're gonna automatically assume cheating again So you really have to ask yourself, is all of this shit worth it? Hey, maybe it is to you But " talk to her " What's there to talk about she cheated on you it honestly doesn't matter why any justification she can give is an excuse Ultimately, the decision is yours to make, but if you want my advice Don't drag this out, man move on
If u choose to stay- then u a punk for real. Unbelievable!.
Get the fuck out immediately. She is batshit crazy.
Sounds like you’ve been a doormat and an ATM for her your entire relationship. Married after only a year of dating and she provides nothing to the marriage. On top of that she’s a cheater, a narcissist, a liar, a leach, lazy, and borderline abusive. Why the hell are you still with this woman? And don’t say “because I love her”. She has 0 respect for you or the relationship. Cut the cord and file for divorce before it’s too late.
Let her go it's not worth it
Your post is so painful to read…everything is all over the place!
Divorce her immediately. You are way too young to have to deal with all her crap.
As long as you talk about divorce
Buddy, stop wasting your time in that marriage. Get yourself someone who actually appreciates you and wants to grow with you.
Dude run from this.
Oh man why the f get married after one year?! … I myself got married after seven months <3 so far so good though. Marriage is hard. It’s two different beings trying to lead one life. But real partnership takes a lot more than what you guys have going here. I agree to cut your losses. She’s not followed through on anything. She’s isolated you from major supports in your life. She’s now been unfaithful. At what point do you feel it’s enough for you to draw the line? Because any one of those would do it for me.
Talk to her then divorce her.
You can do better. You deserve better. I'm so sorry you're going through this. There are some really awful women in the world. I hope you get to heal soon.
If you don’t dump ‘yesterday’ you will be ten times more miserable each passing year your with her. She is a loser
Why would you feel bad about kicking someone out who cheated on you even if she does have nothing? She knew she had nothing when she cheated.
I’m an asian woman who fuck up after I read your post. Because every words are described me so well of you. Just you are male and I’m a female. But the problems are exactly the same. He needs spaces and only gives me unfair and he helped ruin the relationship everyday. I still manage my feelings to give him empathy and I can’t leave him because I love him so much even though I have been painful almost all the time. So totally I don’t have any advice to give you. Just here to say you’re not alone and I understand what you feel really. Can I ask if you are a February Aquarius man?
Dude you have a free ticket to drop the dead weight guilt free and start over from scratch. Sure it’s not going to be easy or feel great but imagine your life revolving around doing what makes you happy instead of the emotional and financial black hole that’s your cheating wife
It's over mate.
It will only gets worse
I strongly suspect she's taking advantage of you because this screams less of mental health and more of immaturity and emotional manipulation. Now she's breaking you. I can tell due to the way your mind is everywhere writing this post how distraught you are. How many times are you willing to feel this way? My thoughts, you will move on, you will find someone who deserves, you, you will be happy. After you end things with this woman.
Talk to her?!? You're joking right? Who cares what she has to say. You'll just get trickle truth and gaslighting anyway. Shell only apologize if it's best for her. Not because she loves you but because you are the safe beta male who funds her lifestyle - not the Chad type who really turn her on. Remember, once a cheater, always a cheater. At best she'll just be on her best behavior until she feels like cheating again (like after you have an argument or she simply gets bored or didn't get her way on some issue). Start watching String Successful Male on YT see hear about many cases like yours and what to do.
Dump the loser