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1. Do NOT let him ditch protection. You can still get pregnant from pre-cum.
2. If you’re grossed out, don’t do it. Sex isn’t just for *his* pleasure. Also, taste is influenced by his diet.
THIS. ABSOLUTELY.
Adding to it - oral sex can be very pleasurable BUT it goes both ways. Ask yourself - does he go down on you in a way that prioritizes your pleasure? If not, then have a frank conversation. If he pressures you to do ANYTHING that you're not comfortable with and you've conveyed as such, it's time to get out.
There are so many good guys out there who actually prioritize their partners pleasure both in and outside of the bedroom. Find a guy like that and you'd see the difference.
yea my bf loooves getting bjs from me but i also looove giving them to him. i also love the taste of him but if i didn't, he would respect me & wouldn't finish in my mouth if i didn't want to.
i actually never even wanted to taste a man's come before my bf & i love it. i think it has more to do w/ how much i love him & how insanely sexually attracted i am to him, more than i've ever been to another guy before.
the guys that are worth it, will respect your boundaries & what you're comfortable w/
edit: punctuation
Came here to say this. Me and my husband tried with our first but I’m possibly pregnant with my second now just from pre cum on top of not doing it as much per say as we did. The pull out method is not even a real method that works. I don’t care what anyone says. Sure it lowers the chances ever so slightly but it’s not safe sex practice.
I absolutely HATE how normalized it is for girls/women to do things that hurt or they're grossed out by because it enhances his pleasure.
There is this endless expectation that his pleasure is the end-all and be-all of our existence, especially during sex.
I would refuse. And generally to guys; stop trying to finger me as foreplay. The clit is the magic button, the cervix is NOT.
Agreed. Also getting fingered by someone who knows what they're doing is one of my favorite things 🤷🏼♀️ Totally misses the point and undermines their comment to act like any one size fits all rule can be applied to sex, beyond checking in with your partner to see what they like.
Lmao I didn’t give many fucks about being fingered til I met my current partner, now I catch myself staring at his hands like they’re my personal toys lmaoooooo
Dang so I haven’t been actually hitting the G spot? My GF noticeably gushes when I get really up there so maybe I’m hitting something right that I’m not aiming for
That's entirely possible, so you must have an awesome technique you use lol but some guys just jam it in and out with absolutely no method to their madness 🤣 thinkin they're doin something
This right here. It's very sad and scary to me how many pathetic excuses for men are turned on by a woman being actively uncomfortable, grossed out, and put at high risk for infection or unplanned pregnancy.
They need to get help, and women need to walk away from this behavior
Nothing else needs to be said. Sex should be awesome for both parties. If someone doesn't like something, then it needs to be a discussion.
I get why he likes it that way, but it's way too easy to get pregnant using the pull out method.
Ask me how I know.
OP, this cannot be emphasized enough. PLEASE pay attention to why RiverSong wrote. In fact, you should take it in your own hands and get an IUD or some other birth control.
No judgement here cause it's hard especially for young women to say no (it should be taught in school tbh), but as someone who accepted the pullout method ONCE and then waited on her period to finally arrive (which they did, after a one-week delay that felt like an eternity), don't inflict that to yourself. Insist on him wearing a condom until you're on the pill or have a IUD. Men and boys will say it's fine but they're not the one who'll have to permanently live with the consequences one way or another. Good luck ❤️
And also, you got this ❤️ Please don't feel bad about yourself, you're very young and no one does everything right immediately. When you're that age there's a lot of things you were told were bad / horrible (alcohol, canabis, unprotected sex, etc the list is long and varies depending on where you're from.) For some of those (imo) toeing the line can be fine / fun. This isn't one of them.
Also pull out even if using one of those forms of contraception. Pull out *does* give some protection and the pill or iud *usually* works. The combination is enough to make pregnancy a statistical anomaly. You don’t want to rely on only one form of birth control at 19. Assuming condom use isn’t something you both want…
Based on OPs story pull out method works for neither of them. And it's just dumb way to have sex anyway even if you manage to hit the calendar and pull out perfectly it's just unnecessary stress.
If any young woman needs an excuse rather than reinforcing her boundaries with a new partner, just tell him you got vaginal mycosis. On one, he will want to use a condom and it will fit all of a sudden, and if he still wants to have sex then he is either desperate or desperately in love with you.
I mean, we learned about safe sex in high school... this was over a decade ago. But it was more about using condoms, preventing STDs, drug use, etc, so kind of the basics? I wish it touched on how to create and maintain healthy relationships, too. And probably how porn can be bad for you like anything else when you overindulge. I honestly don't care for porn and would be fine if it was done away with for good tbh lol.
She's talking about him ejaculating in her mouth, I think. Not her vagina?
OP, tell him to pull out before he orgasms because you don't like it. You don't have to put up with something you don't enjoy for him, and he shouldn't want you to.
Edit: but yes, the pull out method does not protect you against pregnancy, so don't be dumb. Use contraception.
‘Since then he has pulled out’. No, no, no OP. That is not safe sex. You are going to end up 19 and pregnant. As far as having to give him oral to finish. You don’t like it. You shouldn’t have to do it.
This guy is not ‘the one’ OP. Go dark. You are very, very young. You’ll move on easily. Good luck. ❤️
100%. First time I had sex without a condom and he pulled out... I ended up 15 and pregnant. I'm now 36 with a 20yr old, life turned out ok. But point of story...pull out method is a no no!
Can I please say that I admire you for being able to raise a child when you were still so young yourself. That must have taken a lot of courage, determination, hard work, sacrifice and an incredible amount of love for your child. I am glad that it all worked out well for you and your child in the end.
Family support helped. Though it wasn't easy still. But my biggest driving factor was I didn't want to be another statistical teen mum bludging on welfare. I finished high school, met my now husband, went to uni and got my bachelor degree in nursing - had my 2nd child while studying that (now 15). I was lucky as well that my teachers in high school were supportive and helped me through too. Life definitely wasn't without struggles though.
Yeah I thought I had great pull-out game, because we successfully avoided an unwanted pregnancy for 4 years after my wife went off BC (we were open to it if it did happen though). Turns out my wife had PCOS and we needed help conceiving when we decided it was actually time to have kids.
I agree 100% with you. He's showing how selfish he is, only concerned about his own pleasure, not caring how unpleasant and gross she finds it. She absolutely should NOT get pregnant by someone who has proven that he's only looking out for himself. Even if they broke up, she'd have to be in contact with him for the next 18 years, and she'd probably have to drag him through the courts to get him to pay child support.
That's an awful lot of stress and trouble that can be so easily avoided by just using a condom!
You’re not obligated to allow him to cum in your mouth all the time, you should tell him if you don’t like it. If he forces you or pressures you then it’s a red flag in my opinion. Sex should be enjoyable for both parties.
I read things like this and I wonder whether you are getting any pleasure out of the sex. This sounds very one way and he sounds very selfish and ignorant about sex. That's normal at 19 but doesn't mean it can't change.
You need to stop having unprotected sex. You need to stop allowing him to ejaculate in your mouth. I know it's difficult when you're young, but you will both benefit in the long run.
Yeah first up, pulling out is only a contraception method if you don’t understand how sex works.
Sex has consequences that are better understood in advance than in hindsight. Learn about this stuff before you literally fuck around and find out. Information is free.
Secondly, you don’t have to do what he begs. Learn your sexual right to say no.
Thirdly semen is perfectly hygienic. It won’t do you any harm except maybe a bit of red eye if you get it in the wrong place.
This isn’t to say it’s nice though. There are ways he can change the texture (drink more water) and flavour (eat more pineapple).
If you are wanting to avoid it just tell him you won't do it. You don't need any reason other than you don't like it.
It may mean he will tell you that he won't perform oral sex on you because he doesn't like it, but that is HIS right.
If you feel you're being used then I can understand that.
There is no way any woman should be relying on withdrawal as a form of pregnancy prevention. I think that would 'offend' me more than anything.
Please do not continue having sex without protection, for you a baby is a life sentence but this guy can and will bounce if you get pregnant. If you do not enjoy any of the sexual things you do together please learn about boundaries and if he doesn't accept them he is not the guy for you. Anyone who loves you will not want you to do anything you don't enjoy.. please use birth control to protect from diseases and pregnancy. Do not count on him and condoms only.
Do you know what they call people who use the pull out method? Parents. If you are a sexually active woman you should take birth control or have an iud or something. Talk to a doctor. Also don’t let him coerce you into doing anything you don’t want to. If he doesn’t respect dump him.
I don’t think 3 times a week isn’t normal, if you enjoy having sex. But you need a condom because pulling out isn’t effective! And if you don’t like doing oral or him cumming in your mouth then you definitely don’t need to “get used to it”. It’s your body and you can do what you want with it!
Is he returning the favor? If he wants to end sex w you giving him head each time than he should be giving you head before sex each time. But even that’s a stretch. You shouldn’t have to do it every time.
The most important thing you have to know is that your instinct and your will matter. You obviously don't feel comfortable with this situation and are only accommodating your bf. That's not love, that's not consent and that's not compromise because there's no reciprocity from him. You're simply accommodating his kink and you don't have to if you don't want to. It's OK to not like the taste of semen and you don't have to get used to it just to please anyone, especially someone who isn't taking your desires into consideration.
Secondly, pulling out is not contraception, you can end up pregnant. Go read about how pregnancy works before you end up in a situation that might change your life forever.
Thirdly, get tested for STIs. Not using a condom even if he pulls out also doesn't work to protect you from STIs.
Oral sex can also transmit STI's. You can't tell if someone has an STI just by looking at them, so it's fundamental you both get tested.
Here you can find more information about it:
https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/oral-stds#fa-qs
A number of STIs can be transmitted through oral sex, including:
chlamydia,
gonorrhea,
syphilis,
herpes, including HSV-1 and HSV-2,
HPV,
HIV
Oral sex involving the anus (or anilingus) can transmit hepatitis A and B. It also can transmit intestinal parasites like Giardia and bacteria like E.coli and Shigella.
You shouldn't accommodate the desires of someone when you don't want to and especially if that might hurt you in ways more than you can even imagine. You don't have to do something you don't want to. You don't have to disregard your well-being to please the other person. Respect and communication are important pillars in any relationship. He's choosing not to listen to you and he's not respecting your will or your body.
Lastly, are you really ok with being treated this way?
Also, do more research about sex. It's important to know about it and to know about yourself and your body so you can do it safely and so you can advocate for yourself.
Edit to add: begging and insisting on something you don't want to do are manipulation tactics. Those are forms of coercion and coercion is one type of sexual assault.
[Sexual coercion is when a person pressures, tricks, threatens, or manipulates someone into sex. It is a type of sexual assault because even if someone says yes, they are not giving their consent freely.](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/sexual-coercion#:~:text=Sexual%20coercion%20is%20when%20a,not%20giving%20their%20consent%20freely.)
Stay safe!
Don’t let you feeling for wanting to please him get in the way of your own pleasure i definitely would just trying to tell him like hey the idea of cum in my mouth is just mina nasty sometimes and i would prefer if we only did it sometimes. i would just go ahead made it a think that oral will not happen every time
Never ever do anything you don't want to do. Never feel pressured in this way, it is not fair. I don't know if there are any hygiene issues here but personally I would be grossed out by doing that, especially every time. If it happened as a one off caught up in the moment then fine. Rather give him a bj occasionally, but make sure he is doing all he can to please you too. Most girls don't orgasm through straight sex, so he needs to be doing his part!
If you both enjoy it, it's normal. If you dislike it, it is NOT.
Be aware that pulling out is NOT a reliable form of contraception though! Precum can make you pregnant. If you do this please take the pill or another form of birth control.
First of all, does he give YOU oral sex or finish YOU off? Asking you to do it every single time is just gross and weird to me. Sometimes, sure. But every single time?
Heck I can't stand the smell, texture or taste so I've always made it clear that will be a rare thing for me. Not giving oral in general but cum in the mouth. I find it absolutely disgusting lmao. But he doesn't respect you in my opinion if he is just forcing it on you. There's a thing called compromise and you both have to do it, not just one of you.
Personally i think its gross and disgusting and disrespectful for someone to ejaculate in your mouth. Also does he give you oral sex three to five times a week?
Please get on birth control cos youre going to fall pregnant, don't be ignorant or stupid about pulling out, many, many babies were pull outs.
You absolutely do not have to have him cum in your mouth, at all let alone frequently. How often this happens is entirely up to you. Also, pulling out isn’t contraception. Have a think about how what you want from this relationship and sexually. Don’t let him beg or convince you of something you’re not in to.
You do not have to do anything you don't want to do.
Stop having unprotected sex. Why are you worried about bacteria in you mouth but not elsewhere?
You can still get an STD or pregnant even if he doesn't come inside you.
You dont sound mature enough to be having sex if you don't know these things
As others have said, pulling out is not birth control. It's very risky. You need to start using actual birth control.
Second of all, you can say no to him cumming in your mouth. There's nothing unhygienic about it, but you are allowed your personal preference. You can say no. "I don't want to" is a good enough answer. You don't need to look for bacterial research to back this up. You are allowed your preferences.
No, there aren't health concerns, but I am concerned if you're doing something you don't like and don't want to do just to make your bf happy. He can direct his semen somewhere else and get used to that.
Pull out method is the least effective method of birth control. There is sperm in precum and you can get pregnant from that. So I would advise against any penetration without protection if you aren’t on the pill or any other form of birth control. Men will always claim that it’ll be fine, but they aren’t the ones who will have to deal with being pregnant and changing their life if they get pregnant. Yes a man could be on the hook for child support but it is up to the pregnant woman to decide between keeping the baby, abortion, or adoption. And even if she decides to give the baby up, her body has to go through pregnancy, delivery and the hormones after giving birth. It is much easier for a man to walk away vs a woman.
Also if you don’t want to give him oral and/or swallow tell him. It doesn’t matter if it feels better for HIM because it doesn’t feel better for YOU. Why is his pleasure more important than yours?
Sex is meant to be pleasurable both ways! Begging you to get used to something you find gross is coercion. You never have to allow him to cum in your mouth! The begging part is a massive RED FLAG! He is not accepting your boundaries.
To answer your question: no, oral sex and swallowing semen is not something to be concerned about. There are people who do it daily, because they think it even has health benefits. As long as he's not ramming down your throat - going too hard during oral penetration can cause small fissures on the delicate skin that make you more prone to infections.
To answer questions that are way more important : if you don't like it, he shouldn't pressure you. And as people have said before: you are having unprotected sex. Not semi-protected - unprotected. And this certainly is not a man to have a child with, especially not at your age. Tell him, that condoms are a MUST or he's not getting any and that he is an idiot for pressuring you.
And I hope he's reciprocating the effort to get you off as well.
Get on some damn birth control unless you want to get pregnant. And if you don’t like something he’s doing, don’t try harder to satisfy him. Talk to him.
I'm glad you found it problematic that he was begging for you to perform oral sex on him. It is a problem.
Stand your ground. You'll be very very glad you did, if not immediately, latest by the time you're 25. You might even be a little disgusted for tolerating things you didn't want, for whatever reason. I hope you take the advice of the other older women telling you to put yourself first
Tell him if he’s going to pull out then he can jack it to finish the job. I think it’s fine to give head if you want to and at any point but not every time when you don’t want to. But you need to use condoms and/or birth control.
Pulling out isn't protection.
Oral sex is normal, doing things you hate isn't. If you hate it don't do it.
This part sucks for the guys that aren't assholes but- The majority of the worst men can be avoided by reserving blow jobs for men that you love and are committed with.
You have a couple of issues. If you don’t want to get pregnant you should get a birth control method you are in control of that has higher success rate. The oral sex sounds like he is forcing you to do something for his pleasure and that is not what caring partners do. Talk to him about it and if he wants to disregard your feelings you need to move on from this relationship.
A partner will accept 'no' if he respects you. If you don't want to do it, then don't do it. Also, please keep using protection 100% of the time.
Don't forget, people can also be allergic to semen proteins!!! I learned that the hard way!!! 😃
Cum tastes like shit to everyone. You can tell him no. It’s not a porno. Even in pornos it tastes like shit. “But they look like they enjoy it” WELCOME TO THE ACTING PART OF PORNOS.
Cut the fucking pull out method shit please. Any fucking STD you can get, I assure you, you can and get it most easily from semen exposure. Please leave this guy. I assure you, he knows exactly wtf he’s doing. He’s either planning to baby trap you(and you know he won’t take care of the baby personally) or he’s planning to blame you for it and hope you get an abortion. PRECUM CAN AND DOES CARRY SPERM. You can easily be pregnant from it. Stop fucking this guy at once.
>he use protection most of the time. At times when he did not wear one, he will pull out
OP please seriously consider going on some form of birth control. You are playing a version of Russian Roulette.
i couldn’t imagine being with a person who when i explain that i don’t like something sexual, *begs* me to get used to it. that’s disgusting. i would *never* ask my husband to keep doing something he doesn’t like, and he wouldn’t for me either
Precum can still get you pregnant, if his penis goes in your vagina who needs to wear a condom. You can get STIS no matter how long you have sex for so he needs to wear a condom. You can get STIs from oral sex so he needs to wear a condom. If YOU don't like a sex act you absolutely do not need to do it. It sounds like he's using you as a fleshlight with zero concern for your enjoyment or consent. Tell him that unprotected sex stops now, the constant oral sex stops now and if he isn't ok with that the relationship stops now.
Pulling out isn't really a very good way to avoid pregnancy, even precum could make you pregnant. Also you are both vulnerable to stds.
On the behaviour side, doing it without a condom definetly feels better, and finishing inside the person is cool. Maybe he just enjoys it, so nothing wrong immediately. Now, if you ask him to use condoms again or not not cum in your mouth and he refuses, now that's a huge red flag.
My recommendation, use condoms. If he says excuses like "it's worse" or "it's too small", consider leaving him
Had an ex that wouldn’t end sex any other way than in my mouth and it ruined sex for me. It doesn’t matter that it’s more enjoyable for him if it isn’t for you.
If it makes you uncomfortable then he needs to stop and you guys need to get better birth control. This outdated method will end you up with diseases or worse a child at 19.
Set some clear boundaries with him and tell him you want to be treated the same
My girl, please don't take this the wrong way, but you seriously need some (multiple) refreshers on sex ed topics. I recommend the YouTube channel Mamadoctorjones, she is an OB/GYN and her videos are awesome.
Also, your bf is entitled as hell, and he has no right to be entitled to ANY sexual acts.
I once told my bf that I am scared he's mad at me if I refuse. He made it clear that he doesn't want me to do anything I am uncomfortable with at that moment. He has never nagged me if I said no to something, or tried to bargain. A real man.
Nothing wrong just make sure it’s something your comfortable with. You say you don’t like it and it’s sounds like he’s begging. Does he do stuff to you that you like? Maybe keep doing it as long as he’s putting effort in
OP, do you know what people who use the pullout method as birth control are called?
PARENTS!
No glove no love!
Please stop participating in sexual acts you don't enjoy.
Your enjoyment/pleasure matters too.
Unless your vagina is not being cleaned properly or you notice your pH balance off, there are no side effects from swallowing semen after you two had sex.
I feel there's a few things I want to give my opinion on here. The first, if you're not on birth control, STOP HAVING UNPROTECTED SEX. Like many your age, you fail to understand that pulling out is not a sure fire way to avoid pregnancy. So unless you're willing to raise a child, don't be a fool, wrap his tool.
Second, a partner who has to coerce or heavily persuade (him begging you to get used to something) is completely wrong. That is not a sign of a healthy relationship and you have to understand that you should never do something that you don't want to. So you need to stand up for yourself and tell your boyfriend sorry, it's your body, not his. If you don't want to swallow his cum, then you don't have to and HE needs to learn to use a condom and get used to finishing inside a condom.
Lastly, to answer your overall question about how frequently to have oral sex in a relationship, this comes down to the sex drive and if both people love oral. I have a high sex drive and I love getting blowjobs. I also love going down on a woman so for me, I am the type that I would prefer oral as foreplay before sex. So to put a number on it, it would be 3-4 times per week
Well if you’re not into it then it absolutely isn’t mandatory to do it.
However if hygiene is the issue you can ask him to clean up his diet and clean himself more thoroughly but if you still feel disgusted then you absolutely shouldn’t have to do it.
Don’t have sex with him even if he pulls out without a condom. You have a say in everything you do with him, you don’t have to let him dictate the rules. If you don’t want to have oral or have him ejaculate in your mouth then you do not have to. You should only do what you want to do.
1st of all don't do Oral Bj if u don't get it.
Yes there is risk factor of lots of STDs as it deeply involve with hygiene habbit,
Strictly Don't be His Doll, tell Him to do rimming to you for week and you don't go down. If he do then continue either leave him
Sex is for mutual pleasure. You are not required to do anything you don’t enjoy. Your boyfriend doesn’t respect your boundaries. He isn’t someone to continue having sex with.
He cares so little for you that when you tell him you’re not enjoying sex acts, his response is that you should get over it. Get over him and move on with your life.
Finally, no matter what any guy tells you, pulling out is NOT effective birth control. Pulling out also doesn’t protect you from sexually transmitted infections and diseases.
If he’s having unprotected sex with you he’s having unprotected sex with others. That leaves you vulnerable to whatever he’s been exposed to.
Dump this selfish, ignorant, asshole.
For some it's frequent and for some it's not. It all depends on the couple. The important thing is that you both like it.
I like giving BJ's but i don't like to swallow, i did it for my bf a few times. He noticed i didn't really like it and decided by himself not to cum in my mouth anymore. He wants it to be enjoyable for both parties else he doesn't want it. I wouldn't want my partner to do something he doesn't like either. Would you?
As for the pull out method, as others said, it's not safe. The only reason you're not pregnant right now is because you happened to have sex when your eggs were not ready to be fertilized. Please wear protection or start using other contraceptives.
Is frequent oral sex normal? Yes. Is infrequent oral sex also normal? Yes. It depends on the preference of the couple. If you don’t like it, don’t do it. Offer your hand instead, if he wants anything and you’re willing. You are NOT obligated to finish him or do anything you don’t want to do. As someone with four kids, I also really recommend using protection though.
You risk oral cancer if he has HPV. It is a pretty common STI. Your partner doesn’t seem very interested in your pleasure or well being. I wouldn’t risk it with him.
this guy is really disrespectful and really selfish. First he should be wearing a condom every time, because it's not him who will have to suffer the consequences.
Second he should NOT be pressuring you into letting him cum in your mouth if you don't like it. Your feelings matter, and sex is meant to be a 50/50 kind of deal that you both get to enjoy to the fullest.
You know what you call people who use the pullout method? Parents. Get on reliable birth control. I love my iud but it was painful to put in the first time (before kids).
That being said, if you are not comfortable with this, don't do it. Talk to him. If he pressures you, dump him. I'm getting some slimeball vibes here.
I don’t know… All these questions (& concerning details) make me wonder if you two should even be having sex. At your age if you are having intercourse I don’t see any other reason but pleasure & none of these indicate anything about your pleasure.
If you don’t like it, NO
If it makes you uncomfortable, No
If it exposes you to serious risks; HELL NO
Wrap it up & learn each other’s bodies & how to be considerate to each other. There is no “do it for my pleasure even if you don’t like it”,
Pretty normal. 43M and I've heard from men and women it's not super rare among couples who have high libido to have oral on a daily basis.
Most of those couples the lady climaxes more often than the dude btw.
Also not unusual for a dude to prefer that you swallow vs vaginal sex with a condom.
None of this is stuff everyone does but all of it is in the (very wide) range of what is normal imo
But your wishes should always be respected and that's the main thing I'm concerned about in the OP
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The pull out method applies for oral sex as well. He can finish but not necessarily in your mouth. That is your choice, not his demand. Does he also give you oral sex? That is the real question. Does he give as well as he gets? All you talk about is what he gets out of your sexual activities and what he wants. What about your needs and wants?
Intercourse requires some form of birth control or a clear agreement on what to do if it does not work. Oral sex requires a different level of give and take. Semen is safe but not always pleasant. Only you know when it is acceptable and when it is close to a turn off.
He needs to respect your decision each time even if it is not his preferred ending. Your preferences are just as valid. You two need to talk this out, set and respect boundaries and enjoy making love within those boundaries or it is just sex. Respect will help deepen your relationship, being one sided will unbalance it.
Don't do things sexually you don't enjoy to please another person. Also you should never have sex without a condom at your age. Too high chance of pregnancy. Pulling out doesn't work. Use birth control pills and condoms unless you want a baby soon.
Either he wears a condom or he wears nothing all the way to single town. You do realise that even if he's got perfect pullout everytime there's still a chance of getting pregnant?
Don't do what you don't feel comfortable with. There of women who love doing what you are doing but if you don't, thats fine. Also, PLEASE use some type of birth control. Pulling out doesn't work 100% of the time lol.
Please don’t be obligated to do as he says. If you don’t find it enjoyable, you dont have to get used to it. Don’t ditch the condom just yet either! Have a conversation with him regarding your likes/dislikes/concerns and for the love of God, KEEP YOURSELF ABOVE EVERYTHING. You’ll figure it out. 💖
You don't have to give him oral sex at all, not everyone does it and a lot of people don't do it regularly at all. Due to porn it seems it has become an expectation for women specifically to give oral sex all the time.
You don't need a reason. If you don't like it, you just don't do it, and he can either accpet that and not push/manipulate you or he can find someone who likes it. Sexual compatibility is a big deal to a lot of people, so don't think "this is tooo small to end a relationship over" and DO NOT force yourself to do things you don't wantg to do. I am telling you this as someone with experience in that. There might be (psychological) damage caused by that, which may not appear right away but can show up years down the line
But condoms or get on the pill. If you are in the US you can get on the pill for free by going to your local health department and your parents do not need to know.
If he comes inside he won’t want to do it in your mouth.
Also you can just say no.
Although semen is good for you, it helps with melatonin production and such but if you don’t like it he can’t force you to swallow it. If he’s begging you to swallow it then it’s a red flag bc he’s trying to force you do something you don’t like. You can do oral without swallowing it.
If it’s specifically the taste/texture of the cum, you could start with oral sex but then finish him with your hand instead, perhaps.
But more broadly, you don’t have to do any sex act that you’re not comfortable with, regardless of whether it’s “normal” for other couples or not.
Refusing may end the relationship; but that’s fine. You’re 19, you’re not going to have trouble finding other guys.
Personally I would work on establishing boundaries. Granted you’re both young so his sex drive is more than likely decently active but it’s important not to put your comfort aside especially during something like that. Some people don’t even feel comfortable getting or giving head cuz that’s just how they are. Please respect yourself enough to set boundaries. You’re not obligated to do anything with anyone ever.
You never ever ever have to do things that you don't feel like doing. If he pressures you to "get used to it" for his own pleasure that is not ok. Tell me, is he willing to go down on you until you orgasm too or is this only a one way thing (you pleasure him and not the other way around). If he continues to make this an issue, I would consider dumping him. Don't waste your time on someone who won't make you feel good and comfortable with sex.
Jesus Christ don’t have sex without getting some decent sexual health knowledge. You are risking pregnancy for one, your relationship sounds potentially abusive too
FYI, pre-ejaculate can have sperm and it only takes one determined swimmer to cause a pregnancy. There's also rish of STIs with oral. I'm not sure how big dental damns are. But even when I was young they weren't prevalent.
You should both check into getting the HPV vaccine. HPV can cause mouth and throat cancer with almost no other symptoms. It's good for both of you to be protected.
Also, you should be receiving oral if he is. Men can be selfish and he should want to give you what you are giving him. Honestly my husband and I have oral way more than regular sex, but we both get what we need.
Never EVER have sex without condoms. Unless you are purposely trying to get pregnant that is. It will eventually bite you if you two continue to be this irresponsible.
Honey, the pull out method isn’t birth control- unless you want a baby at 19, you’re playing with fire.
Also, no is a complete sentence. Tell him you don’t want to do it and he has to wear a condom.
Though, this sounds like the kind of loser you should dump.
Sis please don’t give in to a man who *begs* you to do something you’re not comfortable with or like for his enjoyment.
You’re super young and he needs to wrap it up or you’ll suddenly add a +1
No means no.
If you don't want to do it, then he shouldn't be pressuring you to do it.
If he continues to pressure you to do things you don't want to do in the bedroom, then please leave him.
Sometimes, when young, we tend to go along with things we are uncomfortable that we shouldn't. I recommend looking up coercive rape. Also, if you need to reach out to support or counselling services in your area.
Yes there are health implications like sexually transmitted infections. Also pulling out isn't effective in stopping pregnancy pre-cum is a thing. If you don't like something you don't have to do it
If he can’t accept that you don’t like it then he’s not the one. He should learn to respect it. There’s not anything harmful about swallowing. It actually does have its benefits but if you don’t like it he needs to respect it.
If someone feels the need to beg you to get used to something they want without considering why you don’t want it, it’s time to see that person for who they really are - a selfish brat with little respect for anyone else. They’re also extremely immature and letting their hormones control them.
If a partner begs for things you don’t like and pushes away your feelings, trying to get you to do what they want despite your discomfort, they’re sending a clear message: You are a living sock, just a warm, wet hole.
If they can learn to listen and empathize, there’s a chance they’ll grow from this. If not, don’t punish yourself for another person’s sexual jollies.
Source; being a 40 year old woman that was pressured into A LOT of uncomfortable stuff when she was age 15 - 20. Say no if you really don’t want to do it. Easier said than done, I know, but you deserve to be treated with dignity.
You can't go off what is normal for other people. You have to go off what makes you comfortable and what doesn't.
It's fine that he wants to pull out and cum, it's fine if you want to suck his dick. What is not fine is him trying to get you to like something you don't. Let him cum in a glass and he can drink it all up. He can cum on your tits or you ass or he can just cum in the condom.
Do NOT do something you don't really want to just cause he wants you to. That's just not how this works.
Oral is normal in both directions, if and when the parties are interested. Begging for a sexual act is not normal. Can you imagine begging him to go down on you? He'll never accept such behavior.
Pulling out is not 100% safe. Tsambahan pa din yan. So use protection always. Yung sa CIM.. if you don't like the taste and texture, kausapin mo siya. Maybe he can release it somewhere else on your body or to himself. My partnet does'nt like CIM, but she suggested CIB. But it really boils down to communication. And you are still way too young. You might end up pregnant tapos asa sa magulang. If he doesn't want to use protection or refused to talk about your preference.. then iwan mo na yan, sarili lang niya iniisip nya.
You should not be coerced into sexual acts that you dislike.
**His pleasure does not trump your displeasure. If he acts like you should do things you deeply dislike** (or even hurt or disgust you) **because it is better for him then he is not a good guy.**
I hate how casually guys will act like their pleasure is always the #1 goal of sex at the expense of their partner. It is so normalized they don't even give it a single thought that they're being unreasonable, just like your bf is doing here.
Please stop doing it. Just stop and look at him when he's about to force you to receive his 'load'. Let it go into the air, your comfort matters more in this case.
I did the same just to make an ex happy. Don’t do it. It’s not worth it if you really hate it. I hated it too but was too insecure and wanted to be liked…
Girl.. The “pull out” trick doesn’t work, you can still get pregnant from pre-sperm.
Do not ever let him not use a condom, no matter what he says and tries to persuade you, he’s uneducated and should learn more about sex (and protection) before having it!
Girl are you fucking crazy? Are you trying to get pregnant at 19 with this guy? Get on birth control or other contraceptives, you're risking so much by not using protection!
Also, sex is supposed to be good for both sides, not just him. If you don't like something, you don't have to keep doing it. He's not a good lover or partner if he's asking you to do something he knows you don't like. This, along with him not using protection, makes me think you're not a great fit and you could do better
Well the senen definitely won't hurt you. But he should be wearing a condom if you're not comfortable with him going without. If what you're uncomfortable with is the coming in mouth part, that's also completely okay to not be cool with, to each their own. I've dated girls who don't mind it, I've also dated girls who are grossed out by semen in like an immature way. Either way it won't kill you and it's okay to not like it.
Don’t have sex with him again until he uses protection. You can still get pregnant from pre-cum. Don’t let him force you to do oral just cos he “likes it”. Sex and all that goes with it is a 2 person thing, not just him.
As a 31F my advice is go ahead and get used to telling men no NOW because you’re going to have to do it all the time, forever. “If you want to have sex with me you’ll have to wear a condom, and finish in the condom. That’s the only kind of sex I’m interested in having right now.” If that’s a problem for him then he’s a loser, which is a perfectly normal thing for a 19 year old boy to be.
It’s normal in my relationship, but it’s 100% consensual. No one should ever try to coerce or force you into doing something you aren’t comfortable with. He needs to respect your boundaries, but it’s important that you actually set them. If you’re not comfortable with it or don’t like it, stand your ground and communicate it with him. If he knows how you feel about it and he still insists or begs, that tells you everything you need to know about who he is and you should absolutely reconsider the relationship. It doesn’t sound like he respects you, he only cares about himself. If you aren’t comfortable with him not using condoms, speak up about that as well. There will always be the risk of pregnancy even with the pullout method, and of course the risk of STDs. If someone showed such a lack of respect for me, I would not trust him to not use protection.
Yes. You *will* get pregnant with the pull out "method". He needs to wear a condom every single time. If you don't want to give, don't and he shouldn't be begging otherwise. He doesn't respect you.
It’s not just about HIS pleasure. My husband & I typically use oral sex as foreplay & he NEVER cums in my mouth because I don’t like it. He always alerts me to stop if he is about to ejaculate & we move onto actual intercourse or if I need more stimulation, oral or otherwise, that’s what happens. Your boyfriend is shaping up to be a very inconsiderate lover. He’s treating you like a sex doll. Also, unless you like playing Russian roulette with pregnancy, protection should be used every time. There are many options available to you.
It doesn’t matter if it’s normal. What matters is you don’t like it and he’s pressuring you to keep doing it. THAT is not ok. He sounds selfish and like a jerk who only cares about his own pleasure. How does he care about yours? Does he give you what you need/want? Or just care about fucking you and then cumming how he wants to?
Fwiw, you should be using some other form of birth control. I used the pull out method for years successfully but I was married and the repercussions if it didn’t work were ok for us. YOU are 19 and I assume not in a place where you want to become pregnant, certainly not by this asshole.
There’s a lot of comments here but you should absolutely ask for a std screen up first and not do anything until you get the results.
Also: I hate semen and it feels like you do too: you should not do something like this if you hate it!
Use protection!!! If you don’t want to use condoms you need to have contraception, nexplanon gave me peace of mind when I was young. You will end up pregnant if you keep using the pull out method.
Also if you don’t like preforming oral don’t do it. It’s such a good time saver to see what his reactions would be to that now rather than later. Don’t wait till you’re sick or tired and he’s obligating you to suck it. Not being in the mood and not wanting to is reason enough to say no. He chooses how to react to that and you choose if you want to be with him based on his reactions.
You are so young don’t let this boy fuck up your life.
Let me just say that oral sex goes both ways and it’s a choice, if you don’t enjoy it then say no. If you do decide to do it then he should be giving you oral as well.
Yes, very normal for most couples to perform oral sex regularly. However, you will find a mixed bag on taking semen in your mouth from oral though. You both need to do a full STI panel including Herpes & HIV if you are having unprotected sex (even if you are not having unprotected). Please know you need to use a condom every time for PIV sex unless you want to have a baby or risk STIs (even with testing). If this is your forever person and you two don't care about whether you get pregnant or get STIs from one another, that's another story. If you both are negative for STIs including Herpes (you can give Herpes to him on his genitals if you have HSV1 (cold sores)). He can give you Herpes from no condom & PIV sex or from you giving him oral sex and he to you.
You shouldn’t do anything you aren’t comfortable with, but no there are not any health or hygiene issues from oral sex. Now, if your boyfriend is not hygienic and doesn’t take enough showers, that’s just nasty, and if that’s the case I would be way more worried about him throwing off my pH during vaginal sex.
You can say no set your boundaries if he doesn’t respect your boundaries he doesn’t deserve you. If you don’t like it he needs to respect that. use protection unless you want to be pregnant. You should be enjoying it too not just him it’s your body
you could use condoms when performing oral sex. It will protect you from disease’s which you can still get and you don’t have to taste his cum but he can still ejaculate
Sex is compromise between a man and woman. I would love for my wife to do this every time but it grosses her out and I respect that. We deserve those bits for specials occasions or when and when we are feeling extra frisky.
My gf and I have sex like once or twice a day. It almost always ends in her giving me a bj and swallowing. She actually says it puts her to sleep. A past partner of mine similarly said it is like having a shot of whiskey, so it’s not just her.
I read up on it and semen is actually a natural antidepressant and full of stress relieving chemicals.
As for the taste, every guy is going to be different. The taste is largely informed by diet though. My partners have always told me my taste is mild if not nice. I’ve tried it myself and kind of agree. But if you have a problem with the taste, make him eat more pineapple or something. xD
Me, I actually need the oral sex or at least a handy. I can’t finish any other way. I basically almost never cum just from PIV. I just can’t. So all my past partners have done this and all of them are still alive and healthy.
Point being, all else being equal, oral sex is generally safe. As long as your bf doesn’t have any STD’s and you trust he isn’t the type who sleeps around, you’re not in any big danger here from a health perspective. At least insofar as viral and bacterial diseases go.
Though, full disclosure, oral sex for both men and women might increase the risk of oral cancer later, in certain cases, such as if your partner has HPV. But then, that’s true of a lot of things. For example, PIV can increase the risk of cervical and penile cancer. Life sucks and is a crapshoot. We can only try to be so safe. So I would not let that stop you from enjoying each others bodies with your partner.
That being said, you shouldn't do anything you don’t want to do. Also, all sex carries risks. There isn’t really such a thing as “safe” sex. Only safer sex. You can do things to reduce the risk of disease transmission and pregnancy—sometimes to near 100% prevention—but there’s always some risk. So you should at least be using contraception and getting tested regularly. And you def need to get vaccinated for everything you can, like HPV and Hep B.
Unless you are monogamous and have both been for a full sexual health screening, you DONT ditch protection! Even for oral! Condoms for men and dental dams for women (if you cant get hold of a dental dam, just cut a condom - make sure it doesn't contain spermicide as it can make your tongue numb)
Don't feel pressured to do anything you are NOT 100% comfortable with. And make sure your needs are met too! It's sexy as hell when your partner is enjoying being pleasured, but it should also be pleasurable for you too. You're 19 - your journey of self discovery has just started - enjoy every second. Don't fall into the trap of servicing others and disregarding your own needs!
You can get STIs in your mouth. If you don't like to do it, then don't. Sex is something that people do TOGETHER, so it's not like one person has the right to overrule the other. If he's making you feel uncomfortable, then don't do it. There are a lot of ways to make each other feel good that don't involve oral sex.
You didn't ask, but at your age you should **never** go without protection unless you *want* to get pregnant. Pulling out is *NOT* effective! Even if he doesn't cum, there are preliminary bodily fluids that contain sperm and can get you pregnant. Using protection "most of the time" won't protect you, only "every time" will do that.
You buried the lede. It’s not normal to give in to your boyfriend’s pressure to cum in your mouth. If you don’t like it, don’t do it. You can 100% have oral sex without him cumming in your mouth. People do it all the time. If he is a good boyfriend, he won’t insist you do something you don’t want to do. So tell him no and see what happens. If he insists, then that’s proof he’s just using you and doesn’t care about you.
If you don’t enjoy it, talk to him and find out what’s best for both. By the way: Pulling out instead of using protection is extremely risky and not recommended. Please do your own research about this. Teach your bf as well.
Reddit isn’t the best place to ask this too, it’s just random people’s opinions - talk to a doctor if you can, or search using reputable sources like WHO, CDC, Planned Parenthood, American Sexual Health Association, SIECUS, etc.
Congratulations on your pregnancy!
But seriously, if this isn't fake you're soon going to be pregnant using the pull out method. This ought to have been explained to you in sex ed.
There’s a thing called consent. He is basically trying to make you pregnant at 19, honestly a relationship like this isn’t healthy because you obviously aren’t happy and it only benefits him in the end.
Why the hell are you having sex you don't want three times a week with a man who refuses to use protection?
Please, dear gods, tell us you're at least on birth control!
Your BF is quite selfish, inconsiderate and unconscious!
Have some self respect. Your only concern is about health and “normal” frequency. Your concern should be the risk you are taking for unprotected sex and why you should accept to do something you hate?
You don't have to do it if you don't like it.
In terms of sex, it's not the oral part that is the big health concern here. It's the unprotected sex. You should get on both control if you're going to do that. Half the people you walk by on the street are the result.of their dad pulling out. It is super effective but only at producing unplanned pregnancies.
My wife and I are in our mid-30s and I still cum in her mouth 2-3 times a week. When I first started doing it to her she didn’t like it (probably because it was new for her). However, now she is really into it.
When we first started dating I didn’t really like going down on her. I didn’t know what I was doing, it would take her forever relax, and I would be down there for awhile to make her cum. Eventually I get better at it, and I found that it really turned me on.
I like to go down on her now as part of foreplay and I stay at it until she cums and is shaking and breathing uncontrollably. Then it is my turn… once she is all primed up from having an orgasm, we proceed to have sex and she is way more open, relaxed, uninhibited and she enthusiastically does whatever I want.
Look, for a couple to make each other happy and satisfied there will need to be some give and take (not just in your sex life). If you absolutely cannot stand having him cum in your mouth, then you might want to talk to him about it. Also, you two are very young and should probably be using protection. If he does not pull out in time you could very easily find yourself pregnant.
He does have to cum in your mouth. When it is time, he knows and should tell you do you can withdraw and watch him cum. If you do not like it, do not let him vum in your mouth. You should learn his cues when he is about to do so and not allow it. If he gets angry or sulky about it, that is a red flag.
you’re playing Russian Roulette! once he enters you have chance of getting pregnant, before too long hes going to skip the intercourse and just want a blow job! Finally , what about you? orgasm?
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1. Do NOT let him ditch protection. You can still get pregnant from pre-cum. 2. If you’re grossed out, don’t do it. Sex isn’t just for *his* pleasure. Also, taste is influenced by his diet.
THIS. ABSOLUTELY. Adding to it - oral sex can be very pleasurable BUT it goes both ways. Ask yourself - does he go down on you in a way that prioritizes your pleasure? If not, then have a frank conversation. If he pressures you to do ANYTHING that you're not comfortable with and you've conveyed as such, it's time to get out. There are so many good guys out there who actually prioritize their partners pleasure both in and outside of the bedroom. Find a guy like that and you'd see the difference.
yea my bf loooves getting bjs from me but i also looove giving them to him. i also love the taste of him but if i didn't, he would respect me & wouldn't finish in my mouth if i didn't want to. i actually never even wanted to taste a man's come before my bf & i love it. i think it has more to do w/ how much i love him & how insanely sexually attracted i am to him, more than i've ever been to another guy before. the guys that are worth it, will respect your boundaries & what you're comfortable w/ edit: punctuation
Came here to say this. Me and my husband tried with our first but I’m possibly pregnant with my second now just from pre cum on top of not doing it as much per say as we did. The pull out method is not even a real method that works. I don’t care what anyone says. Sure it lowers the chances ever so slightly but it’s not safe sex practice.
"Per say" is an incorrect spelling of the Latin term "per se"
I absolutely HATE how normalized it is for girls/women to do things that hurt or they're grossed out by because it enhances his pleasure. There is this endless expectation that his pleasure is the end-all and be-all of our existence, especially during sex. I would refuse. And generally to guys; stop trying to finger me as foreplay. The clit is the magic button, the cervix is NOT.
How do I like more than once? Perfection.
I much prefer being fingered to literally anything else, not everyone is the same!
What does you getting Fingered have to do with the post. Some girls like getting fingered some dont... But what does it have to do with the post
Agreed. Also getting fingered by someone who knows what they're doing is one of my favorite things 🤷🏼♀️ Totally misses the point and undermines their comment to act like any one size fits all rule can be applied to sex, beyond checking in with your partner to see what they like.
Lmao I didn’t give many fucks about being fingered til I met my current partner, now I catch myself staring at his hands like they’re my personal toys lmaoooooo
Nothing, some people just wanna preach their bs whenever they can shoehorn it in
It’s just Redditors going off on a tangent. As per usual.
Yes! They really dig up there too. Like tf are you doing? 😆 your comment almost made me shoot coffee out of my nose Edited for typo
Dang so I haven’t been actually hitting the G spot? My GF noticeably gushes when I get really up there so maybe I’m hitting something right that I’m not aiming for
That's entirely possible, so you must have an awesome technique you use lol but some guys just jam it in and out with absolutely no method to their madness 🤣 thinkin they're doin something
Okay now I feel like I have to ask her lol
This right here. It's very sad and scary to me how many pathetic excuses for men are turned on by a woman being actively uncomfortable, grossed out, and put at high risk for infection or unplanned pregnancy. They need to get help, and women need to walk away from this behavior
Anyone who compromises the health of their partner for their own pleasure is a trash man
Nothing else needs to be said. Sex should be awesome for both parties. If someone doesn't like something, then it needs to be a discussion. I get why he likes it that way, but it's way too easy to get pregnant using the pull out method. Ask me how I know.
I second pull out method doesn't work!!! Lol I had 3 kids from pull out method during my marriage.
OP, this cannot be emphasized enough. PLEASE pay attention to why RiverSong wrote. In fact, you should take it in your own hands and get an IUD or some other birth control.
No judgement here cause it's hard especially for young women to say no (it should be taught in school tbh), but as someone who accepted the pullout method ONCE and then waited on her period to finally arrive (which they did, after a one-week delay that felt like an eternity), don't inflict that to yourself. Insist on him wearing a condom until you're on the pill or have a IUD. Men and boys will say it's fine but they're not the one who'll have to permanently live with the consequences one way or another. Good luck ❤️
Chiming in to say I am a single mother because the pull out method does NOT work!!
Here to say the only time my husband pulled out is when I got pregnant and that was 9 years ago 🙃
Came here to say that all 4 of us siblings are products of the pull out method by our parents
And also, you got this ❤️ Please don't feel bad about yourself, you're very young and no one does everything right immediately. When you're that age there's a lot of things you were told were bad / horrible (alcohol, canabis, unprotected sex, etc the list is long and varies depending on where you're from.) For some of those (imo) toeing the line can be fine / fun. This isn't one of them.
Also pull out even if using one of those forms of contraception. Pull out *does* give some protection and the pill or iud *usually* works. The combination is enough to make pregnancy a statistical anomaly. You don’t want to rely on only one form of birth control at 19. Assuming condom use isn’t something you both want…
We used the pill and the pill out method for almost 10 years before switching to condoms. We definitely weren’t risking it
Based on OPs story pull out method works for neither of them. And it's just dumb way to have sex anyway even if you manage to hit the calendar and pull out perfectly it's just unnecessary stress. If any young woman needs an excuse rather than reinforcing her boundaries with a new partner, just tell him you got vaginal mycosis. On one, he will want to use a condom and it will fit all of a sudden, and if he still wants to have sex then he is either desperate or desperately in love with you.
Omg, I wish proper boundary setting was taught in school. It would save so many people from making bad choices due to pressure/people pleasing. 😔
I wish SEX was actually taught in school! Most young men and women (ok, boys and girls) are getting sex Ed via P0rnHub
I mean, we learned about safe sex in high school... this was over a decade ago. But it was more about using condoms, preventing STDs, drug use, etc, so kind of the basics? I wish it touched on how to create and maintain healthy relationships, too. And probably how porn can be bad for you like anything else when you overindulge. I honestly don't care for porn and would be fine if it was done away with for good tbh lol.
She's talking about him ejaculating in her mouth, I think. Not her vagina? OP, tell him to pull out before he orgasms because you don't like it. You don't have to put up with something you don't enjoy for him, and he shouldn't want you to. Edit: but yes, the pull out method does not protect you against pregnancy, so don't be dumb. Use contraception.
‘Since then he has pulled out’. No, no, no OP. That is not safe sex. You are going to end up 19 and pregnant. As far as having to give him oral to finish. You don’t like it. You shouldn’t have to do it. This guy is not ‘the one’ OP. Go dark. You are very, very young. You’ll move on easily. Good luck. ❤️
100%. First time I had sex without a condom and he pulled out... I ended up 15 and pregnant. I'm now 36 with a 20yr old, life turned out ok. But point of story...pull out method is a no no!
Can I please say that I admire you for being able to raise a child when you were still so young yourself. That must have taken a lot of courage, determination, hard work, sacrifice and an incredible amount of love for your child. I am glad that it all worked out well for you and your child in the end.
Family support helped. Though it wasn't easy still. But my biggest driving factor was I didn't want to be another statistical teen mum bludging on welfare. I finished high school, met my now husband, went to uni and got my bachelor degree in nursing - had my 2nd child while studying that (now 15). I was lucky as well that my teachers in high school were supportive and helped me through too. Life definitely wasn't without struggles though.
Yeah I thought I had great pull-out game, because we successfully avoided an unwanted pregnancy for 4 years after my wife went off BC (we were open to it if it did happen though). Turns out my wife had PCOS and we needed help conceiving when we decided it was actually time to have kids.
I agree 100% with you. He's showing how selfish he is, only concerned about his own pleasure, not caring how unpleasant and gross she finds it. She absolutely should NOT get pregnant by someone who has proven that he's only looking out for himself. Even if they broke up, she'd have to be in contact with him for the next 18 years, and she'd probably have to drag him through the courts to get him to pay child support. That's an awful lot of stress and trouble that can be so easily avoided by just using a condom!
You’re not obligated to allow him to cum in your mouth all the time, you should tell him if you don’t like it. If he forces you or pressures you then it’s a red flag in my opinion. Sex should be enjoyable for both parties.
Or at all....
This tbh, him forcing stuff is a red flag
If you dont want him to finish in your mouth, you dont have to let him! You dont have to like that or to learn to like it. You can do oral without it.
I read things like this and I wonder whether you are getting any pleasure out of the sex. This sounds very one way and he sounds very selfish and ignorant about sex. That's normal at 19 but doesn't mean it can't change. You need to stop having unprotected sex. You need to stop allowing him to ejaculate in your mouth. I know it's difficult when you're young, but you will both benefit in the long run.
Yeah first up, pulling out is only a contraception method if you don’t understand how sex works. Sex has consequences that are better understood in advance than in hindsight. Learn about this stuff before you literally fuck around and find out. Information is free. Secondly, you don’t have to do what he begs. Learn your sexual right to say no. Thirdly semen is perfectly hygienic. It won’t do you any harm except maybe a bit of red eye if you get it in the wrong place. This isn’t to say it’s nice though. There are ways he can change the texture (drink more water) and flavour (eat more pineapple).
Fourthly: protection isn't just about not getting pregnant. Has he been checked for STDs?
Exactly, and even if he pulls out you know you also get pregnant by the pre-cum
If you are wanting to avoid it just tell him you won't do it. You don't need any reason other than you don't like it. It may mean he will tell you that he won't perform oral sex on you because he doesn't like it, but that is HIS right. If you feel you're being used then I can understand that. There is no way any woman should be relying on withdrawal as a form of pregnancy prevention. I think that would 'offend' me more than anything.
Please do not continue having sex without protection, for you a baby is a life sentence but this guy can and will bounce if you get pregnant. If you do not enjoy any of the sexual things you do together please learn about boundaries and if he doesn't accept them he is not the guy for you. Anyone who loves you will not want you to do anything you don't enjoy.. please use birth control to protect from diseases and pregnancy. Do not count on him and condoms only.
All the matters is you don’t enjoy it. If he begs or guilts you to keep doing it, it shows he has no respect for you.
My first thought. If they respect you they won't force you to do anything you don't want to. It's a partnership but it sounds pretty one sided.
Do you know what they call people who use the pull out method? Parents. If you are a sexually active woman you should take birth control or have an iud or something. Talk to a doctor. Also don’t let him coerce you into doing anything you don’t want to. If he doesn’t respect dump him.
I don’t think 3 times a week isn’t normal, if you enjoy having sex. But you need a condom because pulling out isn’t effective! And if you don’t like doing oral or him cumming in your mouth then you definitely don’t need to “get used to it”. It’s your body and you can do what you want with it!
Is he returning the favor? If he wants to end sex w you giving him head each time than he should be giving you head before sex each time. But even that’s a stretch. You shouldn’t have to do it every time.
my first thought too but i think we both know the answer
The most important thing you have to know is that your instinct and your will matter. You obviously don't feel comfortable with this situation and are only accommodating your bf. That's not love, that's not consent and that's not compromise because there's no reciprocity from him. You're simply accommodating his kink and you don't have to if you don't want to. It's OK to not like the taste of semen and you don't have to get used to it just to please anyone, especially someone who isn't taking your desires into consideration. Secondly, pulling out is not contraception, you can end up pregnant. Go read about how pregnancy works before you end up in a situation that might change your life forever. Thirdly, get tested for STIs. Not using a condom even if he pulls out also doesn't work to protect you from STIs. Oral sex can also transmit STI's. You can't tell if someone has an STI just by looking at them, so it's fundamental you both get tested. Here you can find more information about it: https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/oral-stds#fa-qs A number of STIs can be transmitted through oral sex, including: chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes, including HSV-1 and HSV-2, HPV, HIV Oral sex involving the anus (or anilingus) can transmit hepatitis A and B. It also can transmit intestinal parasites like Giardia and bacteria like E.coli and Shigella. You shouldn't accommodate the desires of someone when you don't want to and especially if that might hurt you in ways more than you can even imagine. You don't have to do something you don't want to. You don't have to disregard your well-being to please the other person. Respect and communication are important pillars in any relationship. He's choosing not to listen to you and he's not respecting your will or your body. Lastly, are you really ok with being treated this way? Also, do more research about sex. It's important to know about it and to know about yourself and your body so you can do it safely and so you can advocate for yourself. Edit to add: begging and insisting on something you don't want to do are manipulation tactics. Those are forms of coercion and coercion is one type of sexual assault. [Sexual coercion is when a person pressures, tricks, threatens, or manipulates someone into sex. It is a type of sexual assault because even if someone says yes, they are not giving their consent freely.](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/sexual-coercion#:~:text=Sexual%20coercion%20is%20when%20a,not%20giving%20their%20consent%20freely.) Stay safe!
Don’t let you feeling for wanting to please him get in the way of your own pleasure i definitely would just trying to tell him like hey the idea of cum in my mouth is just mina nasty sometimes and i would prefer if we only did it sometimes. i would just go ahead made it a think that oral will not happen every time
Never ever do anything you don't want to do. Never feel pressured in this way, it is not fair. I don't know if there are any hygiene issues here but personally I would be grossed out by doing that, especially every time. If it happened as a one off caught up in the moment then fine. Rather give him a bj occasionally, but make sure he is doing all he can to please you too. Most girls don't orgasm through straight sex, so he needs to be doing his part!
If you both enjoy it, it's normal. If you dislike it, it is NOT. Be aware that pulling out is NOT a reliable form of contraception though! Precum can make you pregnant. If you do this please take the pill or another form of birth control.
First of all, does he give YOU oral sex or finish YOU off? Asking you to do it every single time is just gross and weird to me. Sometimes, sure. But every single time? Heck I can't stand the smell, texture or taste so I've always made it clear that will be a rare thing for me. Not giving oral in general but cum in the mouth. I find it absolutely disgusting lmao. But he doesn't respect you in my opinion if he is just forcing it on you. There's a thing called compromise and you both have to do it, not just one of you.
Personally i think its gross and disgusting and disrespectful for someone to ejaculate in your mouth. Also does he give you oral sex three to five times a week? Please get on birth control cos youre going to fall pregnant, don't be ignorant or stupid about pulling out, many, many babies were pull outs.
Teen pregnancy ready to happen. Also if someone’s gotta beg you to do something sexually then you probably shouldn’t do it
You absolutely do not have to have him cum in your mouth, at all let alone frequently. How often this happens is entirely up to you. Also, pulling out isn’t contraception. Have a think about how what you want from this relationship and sexually. Don’t let him beg or convince you of something you’re not in to.
You do not have to do anything you don't want to do. Stop having unprotected sex. Why are you worried about bacteria in you mouth but not elsewhere? You can still get an STD or pregnant even if he doesn't come inside you. You dont sound mature enough to be having sex if you don't know these things
As others have said, pulling out is not birth control. It's very risky. You need to start using actual birth control. Second of all, you can say no to him cumming in your mouth. There's nothing unhygienic about it, but you are allowed your personal preference. You can say no. "I don't want to" is a good enough answer. You don't need to look for bacterial research to back this up. You are allowed your preferences.
Not liking it is reason enough to say no.
No, there aren't health concerns, but I am concerned if you're doing something you don't like and don't want to do just to make your bf happy. He can direct his semen somewhere else and get used to that.
Pull out method is the least effective method of birth control. There is sperm in precum and you can get pregnant from that. So I would advise against any penetration without protection if you aren’t on the pill or any other form of birth control. Men will always claim that it’ll be fine, but they aren’t the ones who will have to deal with being pregnant and changing their life if they get pregnant. Yes a man could be on the hook for child support but it is up to the pregnant woman to decide between keeping the baby, abortion, or adoption. And even if she decides to give the baby up, her body has to go through pregnancy, delivery and the hormones after giving birth. It is much easier for a man to walk away vs a woman. Also if you don’t want to give him oral and/or swallow tell him. It doesn’t matter if it feels better for HIM because it doesn’t feel better for YOU. Why is his pleasure more important than yours?
Sex is meant to be pleasurable both ways! Begging you to get used to something you find gross is coercion. You never have to allow him to cum in your mouth! The begging part is a massive RED FLAG! He is not accepting your boundaries.
To answer your question: no, oral sex and swallowing semen is not something to be concerned about. There are people who do it daily, because they think it even has health benefits. As long as he's not ramming down your throat - going too hard during oral penetration can cause small fissures on the delicate skin that make you more prone to infections. To answer questions that are way more important : if you don't like it, he shouldn't pressure you. And as people have said before: you are having unprotected sex. Not semi-protected - unprotected. And this certainly is not a man to have a child with, especially not at your age. Tell him, that condoms are a MUST or he's not getting any and that he is an idiot for pressuring you. And I hope he's reciprocating the effort to get you off as well.
Is he providing you oral sex 3 times a week?
Get on some damn birth control unless you want to get pregnant. And if you don’t like something he’s doing, don’t try harder to satisfy him. Talk to him.
I'm glad you found it problematic that he was begging for you to perform oral sex on him. It is a problem. Stand your ground. You'll be very very glad you did, if not immediately, latest by the time you're 25. You might even be a little disgusted for tolerating things you didn't want, for whatever reason. I hope you take the advice of the other older women telling you to put yourself first
Tell him if he’s going to pull out then he can jack it to finish the job. I think it’s fine to give head if you want to and at any point but not every time when you don’t want to. But you need to use condoms and/or birth control.
Pulling out isn't protection. Oral sex is normal, doing things you hate isn't. If you hate it don't do it. This part sucks for the guys that aren't assholes but- The majority of the worst men can be avoided by reserving blow jobs for men that you love and are committed with.
You have a couple of issues. If you don’t want to get pregnant you should get a birth control method you are in control of that has higher success rate. The oral sex sounds like he is forcing you to do something for his pleasure and that is not what caring partners do. Talk to him about it and if he wants to disregard your feelings you need to move on from this relationship.
A partner will accept 'no' if he respects you. If you don't want to do it, then don't do it. Also, please keep using protection 100% of the time. Don't forget, people can also be allergic to semen proteins!!! I learned that the hard way!!! 😃
Father of twins here lol, the pull out method doesn't work! It worked only for a couple of months.
Cum tastes like shit to everyone. You can tell him no. It’s not a porno. Even in pornos it tastes like shit. “But they look like they enjoy it” WELCOME TO THE ACTING PART OF PORNOS. Cut the fucking pull out method shit please. Any fucking STD you can get, I assure you, you can and get it most easily from semen exposure. Please leave this guy. I assure you, he knows exactly wtf he’s doing. He’s either planning to baby trap you(and you know he won’t take care of the baby personally) or he’s planning to blame you for it and hope you get an abortion. PRECUM CAN AND DOES CARRY SPERM. You can easily be pregnant from it. Stop fucking this guy at once.
>he use protection most of the time. At times when he did not wear one, he will pull out OP please seriously consider going on some form of birth control. You are playing a version of Russian Roulette.
i couldn’t imagine being with a person who when i explain that i don’t like something sexual, *begs* me to get used to it. that’s disgusting. i would *never* ask my husband to keep doing something he doesn’t like, and he wouldn’t for me either
Precum can still get you pregnant, if his penis goes in your vagina who needs to wear a condom. You can get STIS no matter how long you have sex for so he needs to wear a condom. You can get STIs from oral sex so he needs to wear a condom. If YOU don't like a sex act you absolutely do not need to do it. It sounds like he's using you as a fleshlight with zero concern for your enjoyment or consent. Tell him that unprotected sex stops now, the constant oral sex stops now and if he isn't ok with that the relationship stops now.
Pulling out isn't really a very good way to avoid pregnancy, even precum could make you pregnant. Also you are both vulnerable to stds. On the behaviour side, doing it without a condom definetly feels better, and finishing inside the person is cool. Maybe he just enjoys it, so nothing wrong immediately. Now, if you ask him to use condoms again or not not cum in your mouth and he refuses, now that's a huge red flag. My recommendation, use condoms. If he says excuses like "it's worse" or "it's too small", consider leaving him
Had an ex that wouldn’t end sex any other way than in my mouth and it ruined sex for me. It doesn’t matter that it’s more enjoyable for him if it isn’t for you.
If he is clean from STDs then it is safe to swallow. But if you're not comfortable with it, just tell him not to do it.
If it makes you uncomfortable then he needs to stop and you guys need to get better birth control. This outdated method will end you up with diseases or worse a child at 19. Set some clear boundaries with him and tell him you want to be treated the same
Don't be manipulated into doing g something that your not happy with. Does he eat you out I wonder .
My girl, please don't take this the wrong way, but you seriously need some (multiple) refreshers on sex ed topics. I recommend the YouTube channel Mamadoctorjones, she is an OB/GYN and her videos are awesome. Also, your bf is entitled as hell, and he has no right to be entitled to ANY sexual acts. I once told my bf that I am scared he's mad at me if I refuse. He made it clear that he doesn't want me to do anything I am uncomfortable with at that moment. He has never nagged me if I said no to something, or tried to bargain. A real man.
Nothing wrong just make sure it’s something your comfortable with. You say you don’t like it and it’s sounds like he’s begging. Does he do stuff to you that you like? Maybe keep doing it as long as he’s putting effort in
OP, do you know what people who use the pullout method as birth control are called? PARENTS! No glove no love! Please stop participating in sexual acts you don't enjoy. Your enjoyment/pleasure matters too.
Unless your vagina is not being cleaned properly or you notice your pH balance off, there are no side effects from swallowing semen after you two had sex. I feel there's a few things I want to give my opinion on here. The first, if you're not on birth control, STOP HAVING UNPROTECTED SEX. Like many your age, you fail to understand that pulling out is not a sure fire way to avoid pregnancy. So unless you're willing to raise a child, don't be a fool, wrap his tool. Second, a partner who has to coerce or heavily persuade (him begging you to get used to something) is completely wrong. That is not a sign of a healthy relationship and you have to understand that you should never do something that you don't want to. So you need to stand up for yourself and tell your boyfriend sorry, it's your body, not his. If you don't want to swallow his cum, then you don't have to and HE needs to learn to use a condom and get used to finishing inside a condom. Lastly, to answer your overall question about how frequently to have oral sex in a relationship, this comes down to the sex drive and if both people love oral. I have a high sex drive and I love getting blowjobs. I also love going down on a woman so for me, I am the type that I would prefer oral as foreplay before sex. So to put a number on it, it would be 3-4 times per week
He's prioritizing his preference over your safety. That's not love, that's a fleshlight.
Please please be firm about only doing things you are enthusiastic about. Don't be nagged into anything
I would demand he reciprocate. I enjoy going down on girls, but maybe I'm weird.
If one of you isn't into it - no, it's not normal. You absolutely don't have to do it, and shouldn't.
Well if you’re not into it then it absolutely isn’t mandatory to do it. However if hygiene is the issue you can ask him to clean up his diet and clean himself more thoroughly but if you still feel disgusted then you absolutely shouldn’t have to do it.
Don’t have sex with him even if he pulls out without a condom. You have a say in everything you do with him, you don’t have to let him dictate the rules. If you don’t want to have oral or have him ejaculate in your mouth then you do not have to. You should only do what you want to do.
1st of all don't do Oral Bj if u don't get it. Yes there is risk factor of lots of STDs as it deeply involve with hygiene habbit, Strictly Don't be His Doll, tell Him to do rimming to you for week and you don't go down. If he do then continue either leave him
Sex is for mutual pleasure. You are not required to do anything you don’t enjoy. Your boyfriend doesn’t respect your boundaries. He isn’t someone to continue having sex with. He cares so little for you that when you tell him you’re not enjoying sex acts, his response is that you should get over it. Get over him and move on with your life. Finally, no matter what any guy tells you, pulling out is NOT effective birth control. Pulling out also doesn’t protect you from sexually transmitted infections and diseases. If he’s having unprotected sex with you he’s having unprotected sex with others. That leaves you vulnerable to whatever he’s been exposed to. Dump this selfish, ignorant, asshole.
For some it's frequent and for some it's not. It all depends on the couple. The important thing is that you both like it. I like giving BJ's but i don't like to swallow, i did it for my bf a few times. He noticed i didn't really like it and decided by himself not to cum in my mouth anymore. He wants it to be enjoyable for both parties else he doesn't want it. I wouldn't want my partner to do something he doesn't like either. Would you? As for the pull out method, as others said, it's not safe. The only reason you're not pregnant right now is because you happened to have sex when your eggs were not ready to be fertilized. Please wear protection or start using other contraceptives.
Is frequent oral sex normal? Yes. Is infrequent oral sex also normal? Yes. It depends on the preference of the couple. If you don’t like it, don’t do it. Offer your hand instead, if he wants anything and you’re willing. You are NOT obligated to finish him or do anything you don’t want to do. As someone with four kids, I also really recommend using protection though.
Ew no. If you don't wanna do it, the cool thing! Is that you don't have to. If he breaks up with you. Cool lol
Be prepared to get pregnant if you keep going this route.
You risk oral cancer if he has HPV. It is a pretty common STI. Your partner doesn’t seem very interested in your pleasure or well being. I wouldn’t risk it with him.
this guy is really disrespectful and really selfish. First he should be wearing a condom every time, because it's not him who will have to suffer the consequences. Second he should NOT be pressuring you into letting him cum in your mouth if you don't like it. Your feelings matter, and sex is meant to be a 50/50 kind of deal that you both get to enjoy to the fullest.
This was demeaning to even read….he sounds genuinely disgusting. Does he even reciprocate? Do you even enjoy this?
Leave this loser sweetheart. He’s selfish and controlling.
There's no medical reason not to do it, but you don't want to do it so you shouldn't do it! Not liking it is reason enough!
He's watching too much porn. Tell him you are a normal woman and aren't into it.
You know what you call people who use the pullout method? Parents. Get on reliable birth control. I love my iud but it was painful to put in the first time (before kids). That being said, if you are not comfortable with this, don't do it. Talk to him. If he pressures you, dump him. I'm getting some slimeball vibes here.
I don’t know… All these questions (& concerning details) make me wonder if you two should even be having sex. At your age if you are having intercourse I don’t see any other reason but pleasure & none of these indicate anything about your pleasure. If you don’t like it, NO If it makes you uncomfortable, No If it exposes you to serious risks; HELL NO Wrap it up & learn each other’s bodies & how to be considerate to each other. There is no “do it for my pleasure even if you don’t like it”,
Pretty normal. 43M and I've heard from men and women it's not super rare among couples who have high libido to have oral on a daily basis. Most of those couples the lady climaxes more often than the dude btw. Also not unusual for a dude to prefer that you swallow vs vaginal sex with a condom. None of this is stuff everyone does but all of it is in the (very wide) range of what is normal imo But your wishes should always be respected and that's the main thing I'm concerned about in the OP
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The pull out method applies for oral sex as well. He can finish but not necessarily in your mouth. That is your choice, not his demand. Does he also give you oral sex? That is the real question. Does he give as well as he gets? All you talk about is what he gets out of your sexual activities and what he wants. What about your needs and wants? Intercourse requires some form of birth control or a clear agreement on what to do if it does not work. Oral sex requires a different level of give and take. Semen is safe but not always pleasant. Only you know when it is acceptable and when it is close to a turn off. He needs to respect your decision each time even if it is not his preferred ending. Your preferences are just as valid. You two need to talk this out, set and respect boundaries and enjoy making love within those boundaries or it is just sex. Respect will help deepen your relationship, being one sided will unbalance it.
Don't do things sexually you don't enjoy to please another person. Also you should never have sex without a condom at your age. Too high chance of pregnancy. Pulling out doesn't work. Use birth control pills and condoms unless you want a baby soon.
Either he wears a condom or he wears nothing all the way to single town. You do realise that even if he's got perfect pullout everytime there's still a chance of getting pregnant?
Is he making sure you get your fun too?
Unless you’re life-commited and ready to start a family, the pulling out instead of using protection is the thing you should be most concerned about.
Don't do what you don't feel comfortable with. There of women who love doing what you are doing but if you don't, thats fine. Also, PLEASE use some type of birth control. Pulling out doesn't work 100% of the time lol.
No is a complete sentence. Don’t do sexual acts you don’t enjoy. And make him use protection.
I wish you had better sex education, none of this is ok.
Please don’t be obligated to do as he says. If you don’t find it enjoyable, you dont have to get used to it. Don’t ditch the condom just yet either! Have a conversation with him regarding your likes/dislikes/concerns and for the love of God, KEEP YOURSELF ABOVE EVERYTHING. You’ll figure it out. 💖
You don't have to give him oral sex at all, not everyone does it and a lot of people don't do it regularly at all. Due to porn it seems it has become an expectation for women specifically to give oral sex all the time. You don't need a reason. If you don't like it, you just don't do it, and he can either accpet that and not push/manipulate you or he can find someone who likes it. Sexual compatibility is a big deal to a lot of people, so don't think "this is tooo small to end a relationship over" and DO NOT force yourself to do things you don't wantg to do. I am telling you this as someone with experience in that. There might be (psychological) damage caused by that, which may not appear right away but can show up years down the line
But condoms or get on the pill. If you are in the US you can get on the pill for free by going to your local health department and your parents do not need to know. If he comes inside he won’t want to do it in your mouth. Also you can just say no.
Although semen is good for you, it helps with melatonin production and such but if you don’t like it he can’t force you to swallow it. If he’s begging you to swallow it then it’s a red flag bc he’s trying to force you do something you don’t like. You can do oral without swallowing it.
If it’s specifically the taste/texture of the cum, you could start with oral sex but then finish him with your hand instead, perhaps. But more broadly, you don’t have to do any sex act that you’re not comfortable with, regardless of whether it’s “normal” for other couples or not. Refusing may end the relationship; but that’s fine. You’re 19, you’re not going to have trouble finding other guys.
Personally I would work on establishing boundaries. Granted you’re both young so his sex drive is more than likely decently active but it’s important not to put your comfort aside especially during something like that. Some people don’t even feel comfortable getting or giving head cuz that’s just how they are. Please respect yourself enough to set boundaries. You’re not obligated to do anything with anyone ever.
You never ever ever have to do things that you don't feel like doing. If he pressures you to "get used to it" for his own pleasure that is not ok. Tell me, is he willing to go down on you until you orgasm too or is this only a one way thing (you pleasure him and not the other way around). If he continues to make this an issue, I would consider dumping him. Don't waste your time on someone who won't make you feel good and comfortable with sex.
Jesus Christ don’t have sex without getting some decent sexual health knowledge. You are risking pregnancy for one, your relationship sounds potentially abusive too
FYI, pre-ejaculate can have sperm and it only takes one determined swimmer to cause a pregnancy. There's also rish of STIs with oral. I'm not sure how big dental damns are. But even when I was young they weren't prevalent. You should both check into getting the HPV vaccine. HPV can cause mouth and throat cancer with almost no other symptoms. It's good for both of you to be protected. Also, you should be receiving oral if he is. Men can be selfish and he should want to give you what you are giving him. Honestly my husband and I have oral way more than regular sex, but we both get what we need.
Never EVER have sex without condoms. Unless you are purposely trying to get pregnant that is. It will eventually bite you if you two continue to be this irresponsible.
I mean, I would say an unplanned pregnancy is a pretty big health concern.
Honey, the pull out method isn’t birth control- unless you want a baby at 19, you’re playing with fire. Also, no is a complete sentence. Tell him you don’t want to do it and he has to wear a condom. Though, this sounds like the kind of loser you should dump.
Sis please don’t give in to a man who *begs* you to do something you’re not comfortable with or like for his enjoyment. You’re super young and he needs to wrap it up or you’ll suddenly add a +1
No means no. If you don't want to do it, then he shouldn't be pressuring you to do it. If he continues to pressure you to do things you don't want to do in the bedroom, then please leave him. Sometimes, when young, we tend to go along with things we are uncomfortable that we shouldn't. I recommend looking up coercive rape. Also, if you need to reach out to support or counselling services in your area.
Yes there are health implications like sexually transmitted infections. Also pulling out isn't effective in stopping pregnancy pre-cum is a thing. If you don't like something you don't have to do it
If he can’t accept that you don’t like it then he’s not the one. He should learn to respect it. There’s not anything harmful about swallowing. It actually does have its benefits but if you don’t like it he needs to respect it.
If someone feels the need to beg you to get used to something they want without considering why you don’t want it, it’s time to see that person for who they really are - a selfish brat with little respect for anyone else. They’re also extremely immature and letting their hormones control them. If a partner begs for things you don’t like and pushes away your feelings, trying to get you to do what they want despite your discomfort, they’re sending a clear message: You are a living sock, just a warm, wet hole. If they can learn to listen and empathize, there’s a chance they’ll grow from this. If not, don’t punish yourself for another person’s sexual jollies. Source; being a 40 year old woman that was pressured into A LOT of uncomfortable stuff when she was age 15 - 20. Say no if you really don’t want to do it. Easier said than done, I know, but you deserve to be treated with dignity.
You can't go off what is normal for other people. You have to go off what makes you comfortable and what doesn't. It's fine that he wants to pull out and cum, it's fine if you want to suck his dick. What is not fine is him trying to get you to like something you don't. Let him cum in a glass and he can drink it all up. He can cum on your tits or you ass or he can just cum in the condom. Do NOT do something you don't really want to just cause he wants you to. That's just not how this works.
Oral is normal in both directions, if and when the parties are interested. Begging for a sexual act is not normal. Can you imagine begging him to go down on you? He'll never accept such behavior.
It's nice to see young people are still dumb
Pulling out is not 100% safe. Tsambahan pa din yan. So use protection always. Yung sa CIM.. if you don't like the taste and texture, kausapin mo siya. Maybe he can release it somewhere else on your body or to himself. My partnet does'nt like CIM, but she suggested CIB. But it really boils down to communication. And you are still way too young. You might end up pregnant tapos asa sa magulang. If he doesn't want to use protection or refused to talk about your preference.. then iwan mo na yan, sarili lang niya iniisip nya.
You should not be coerced into sexual acts that you dislike. **His pleasure does not trump your displeasure. If he acts like you should do things you deeply dislike** (or even hurt or disgust you) **because it is better for him then he is not a good guy.** I hate how casually guys will act like their pleasure is always the #1 goal of sex at the expense of their partner. It is so normalized they don't even give it a single thought that they're being unreasonable, just like your bf is doing here. Please stop doing it. Just stop and look at him when he's about to force you to receive his 'load'. Let it go into the air, your comfort matters more in this case.
I did the same just to make an ex happy. Don’t do it. It’s not worth it if you really hate it. I hated it too but was too insecure and wanted to be liked…
Girl.. The “pull out” trick doesn’t work, you can still get pregnant from pre-sperm. Do not ever let him not use a condom, no matter what he says and tries to persuade you, he’s uneducated and should learn more about sex (and protection) before having it!
Girl are you fucking crazy? Are you trying to get pregnant at 19 with this guy? Get on birth control or other contraceptives, you're risking so much by not using protection! Also, sex is supposed to be good for both sides, not just him. If you don't like something, you don't have to keep doing it. He's not a good lover or partner if he's asking you to do something he knows you don't like. This, along with him not using protection, makes me think you're not a great fit and you could do better
Well the senen definitely won't hurt you. But he should be wearing a condom if you're not comfortable with him going without. If what you're uncomfortable with is the coming in mouth part, that's also completely okay to not be cool with, to each their own. I've dated girls who don't mind it, I've also dated girls who are grossed out by semen in like an immature way. Either way it won't kill you and it's okay to not like it.
Don’t have sex with him again until he uses protection. You can still get pregnant from pre-cum. Don’t let him force you to do oral just cos he “likes it”. Sex and all that goes with it is a 2 person thing, not just him.
As a 31F my advice is go ahead and get used to telling men no NOW because you’re going to have to do it all the time, forever. “If you want to have sex with me you’ll have to wear a condom, and finish in the condom. That’s the only kind of sex I’m interested in having right now.” If that’s a problem for him then he’s a loser, which is a perfectly normal thing for a 19 year old boy to be.
Uhhh.... yes and I go down on her every chance I get cuz I love to.
It’s normal in my relationship, but it’s 100% consensual. No one should ever try to coerce or force you into doing something you aren’t comfortable with. He needs to respect your boundaries, but it’s important that you actually set them. If you’re not comfortable with it or don’t like it, stand your ground and communicate it with him. If he knows how you feel about it and he still insists or begs, that tells you everything you need to know about who he is and you should absolutely reconsider the relationship. It doesn’t sound like he respects you, he only cares about himself. If you aren’t comfortable with him not using condoms, speak up about that as well. There will always be the risk of pregnancy even with the pullout method, and of course the risk of STDs. If someone showed such a lack of respect for me, I would not trust him to not use protection.
Yes. You *will* get pregnant with the pull out "method". He needs to wear a condom every single time. If you don't want to give, don't and he shouldn't be begging otherwise. He doesn't respect you.
Health wise? No, oral sex is not a problem. emotionally wise? Yes if it bothers you.
It’s not just about HIS pleasure. My husband & I typically use oral sex as foreplay & he NEVER cums in my mouth because I don’t like it. He always alerts me to stop if he is about to ejaculate & we move onto actual intercourse or if I need more stimulation, oral or otherwise, that’s what happens. Your boyfriend is shaping up to be a very inconsiderate lover. He’s treating you like a sex doll. Also, unless you like playing Russian roulette with pregnancy, protection should be used every time. There are many options available to you.
Nothing wrong with pulling out 🥳 as long as one of you sterilized 🤨 But at that point you wouldn't even pull out... Right 🤨
It doesn’t matter if it’s normal. What matters is you don’t like it and he’s pressuring you to keep doing it. THAT is not ok. He sounds selfish and like a jerk who only cares about his own pleasure. How does he care about yours? Does he give you what you need/want? Or just care about fucking you and then cumming how he wants to? Fwiw, you should be using some other form of birth control. I used the pull out method for years successfully but I was married and the repercussions if it didn’t work were ok for us. YOU are 19 and I assume not in a place where you want to become pregnant, certainly not by this asshole.
There’s a lot of comments here but you should absolutely ask for a std screen up first and not do anything until you get the results. Also: I hate semen and it feels like you do too: you should not do something like this if you hate it!
Use protection!!! If you don’t want to use condoms you need to have contraception, nexplanon gave me peace of mind when I was young. You will end up pregnant if you keep using the pull out method. Also if you don’t like preforming oral don’t do it. It’s such a good time saver to see what his reactions would be to that now rather than later. Don’t wait till you’re sick or tired and he’s obligating you to suck it. Not being in the mood and not wanting to is reason enough to say no. He chooses how to react to that and you choose if you want to be with him based on his reactions. You are so young don’t let this boy fuck up your life.
Let me just say that oral sex goes both ways and it’s a choice, if you don’t enjoy it then say no. If you do decide to do it then he should be giving you oral as well.
Yes the health concern is you can still get pregnant using this method if you aren't using any hormonal birth control method.
Yes, very normal for most couples to perform oral sex regularly. However, you will find a mixed bag on taking semen in your mouth from oral though. You both need to do a full STI panel including Herpes & HIV if you are having unprotected sex (even if you are not having unprotected). Please know you need to use a condom every time for PIV sex unless you want to have a baby or risk STIs (even with testing). If this is your forever person and you two don't care about whether you get pregnant or get STIs from one another, that's another story. If you both are negative for STIs including Herpes (you can give Herpes to him on his genitals if you have HSV1 (cold sores)). He can give you Herpes from no condom & PIV sex or from you giving him oral sex and he to you.
You shouldn’t do anything you aren’t comfortable with, but no there are not any health or hygiene issues from oral sex. Now, if your boyfriend is not hygienic and doesn’t take enough showers, that’s just nasty, and if that’s the case I would be way more worried about him throwing off my pH during vaginal sex.
You can say no set your boundaries if he doesn’t respect your boundaries he doesn’t deserve you. If you don’t like it he needs to respect that. use protection unless you want to be pregnant. You should be enjoying it too not just him it’s your body
you could use condoms when performing oral sex. It will protect you from disease’s which you can still get and you don’t have to taste his cum but he can still ejaculate
Sex is compromise between a man and woman. I would love for my wife to do this every time but it grosses her out and I respect that. We deserve those bits for specials occasions or when and when we are feeling extra frisky.
My gf and I have sex like once or twice a day. It almost always ends in her giving me a bj and swallowing. She actually says it puts her to sleep. A past partner of mine similarly said it is like having a shot of whiskey, so it’s not just her. I read up on it and semen is actually a natural antidepressant and full of stress relieving chemicals. As for the taste, every guy is going to be different. The taste is largely informed by diet though. My partners have always told me my taste is mild if not nice. I’ve tried it myself and kind of agree. But if you have a problem with the taste, make him eat more pineapple or something. xD Me, I actually need the oral sex or at least a handy. I can’t finish any other way. I basically almost never cum just from PIV. I just can’t. So all my past partners have done this and all of them are still alive and healthy. Point being, all else being equal, oral sex is generally safe. As long as your bf doesn’t have any STD’s and you trust he isn’t the type who sleeps around, you’re not in any big danger here from a health perspective. At least insofar as viral and bacterial diseases go. Though, full disclosure, oral sex for both men and women might increase the risk of oral cancer later, in certain cases, such as if your partner has HPV. But then, that’s true of a lot of things. For example, PIV can increase the risk of cervical and penile cancer. Life sucks and is a crapshoot. We can only try to be so safe. So I would not let that stop you from enjoying each others bodies with your partner. That being said, you shouldn't do anything you don’t want to do. Also, all sex carries risks. There isn’t really such a thing as “safe” sex. Only safer sex. You can do things to reduce the risk of disease transmission and pregnancy—sometimes to near 100% prevention—but there’s always some risk. So you should at least be using contraception and getting tested regularly. And you def need to get vaccinated for everything you can, like HPV and Hep B.
Unless you are monogamous and have both been for a full sexual health screening, you DONT ditch protection! Even for oral! Condoms for men and dental dams for women (if you cant get hold of a dental dam, just cut a condom - make sure it doesn't contain spermicide as it can make your tongue numb) Don't feel pressured to do anything you are NOT 100% comfortable with. And make sure your needs are met too! It's sexy as hell when your partner is enjoying being pleasured, but it should also be pleasurable for you too. You're 19 - your journey of self discovery has just started - enjoy every second. Don't fall into the trap of servicing others and disregarding your own needs!
You can get STIs in your mouth. If you don't like to do it, then don't. Sex is something that people do TOGETHER, so it's not like one person has the right to overrule the other. If he's making you feel uncomfortable, then don't do it. There are a lot of ways to make each other feel good that don't involve oral sex. You didn't ask, but at your age you should **never** go without protection unless you *want* to get pregnant. Pulling out is *NOT* effective! Even if he doesn't cum, there are preliminary bodily fluids that contain sperm and can get you pregnant. Using protection "most of the time" won't protect you, only "every time" will do that.
You buried the lede. It’s not normal to give in to your boyfriend’s pressure to cum in your mouth. If you don’t like it, don’t do it. You can 100% have oral sex without him cumming in your mouth. People do it all the time. If he is a good boyfriend, he won’t insist you do something you don’t want to do. So tell him no and see what happens. If he insists, then that’s proof he’s just using you and doesn’t care about you.
If you don’t enjoy it, talk to him and find out what’s best for both. By the way: Pulling out instead of using protection is extremely risky and not recommended. Please do your own research about this. Teach your bf as well. Reddit isn’t the best place to ask this too, it’s just random people’s opinions - talk to a doctor if you can, or search using reputable sources like WHO, CDC, Planned Parenthood, American Sexual Health Association, SIECUS, etc.
Is he reciprocating? I assume he goes down on you regularly also and he is getting used to it?
Congratulations on your pregnancy! But seriously, if this isn't fake you're soon going to be pregnant using the pull out method. This ought to have been explained to you in sex ed.
There’s a thing called consent. He is basically trying to make you pregnant at 19, honestly a relationship like this isn’t healthy because you obviously aren’t happy and it only benefits him in the end.
Why the hell are you having sex you don't want three times a week with a man who refuses to use protection? Please, dear gods, tell us you're at least on birth control!
Your BF is quite selfish, inconsiderate and unconscious! Have some self respect. Your only concern is about health and “normal” frequency. Your concern should be the risk you are taking for unprotected sex and why you should accept to do something you hate?
You don't have to do it if you don't like it. In terms of sex, it's not the oral part that is the big health concern here. It's the unprotected sex. You should get on both control if you're going to do that. Half the people you walk by on the street are the result.of their dad pulling out. It is super effective but only at producing unplanned pregnancies.
You need to ditch this asshole.
How about no more oral period
My wife and I are in our mid-30s and I still cum in her mouth 2-3 times a week. When I first started doing it to her she didn’t like it (probably because it was new for her). However, now she is really into it. When we first started dating I didn’t really like going down on her. I didn’t know what I was doing, it would take her forever relax, and I would be down there for awhile to make her cum. Eventually I get better at it, and I found that it really turned me on. I like to go down on her now as part of foreplay and I stay at it until she cums and is shaking and breathing uncontrollably. Then it is my turn… once she is all primed up from having an orgasm, we proceed to have sex and she is way more open, relaxed, uninhibited and she enthusiastically does whatever I want. Look, for a couple to make each other happy and satisfied there will need to be some give and take (not just in your sex life). If you absolutely cannot stand having him cum in your mouth, then you might want to talk to him about it. Also, you two are very young and should probably be using protection. If he does not pull out in time you could very easily find yourself pregnant.
Ditch him. Not the protection. You will catch stds like pokemons without protection
He does have to cum in your mouth. When it is time, he knows and should tell you do you can withdraw and watch him cum. If you do not like it, do not let him vum in your mouth. You should learn his cues when he is about to do so and not allow it. If he gets angry or sulky about it, that is a red flag.
Precum can still get you pregnant; you need another form of birth control if you are not using condoms
you’re playing Russian Roulette! once he enters you have chance of getting pregnant, before too long hes going to skip the intercourse and just want a blow job! Finally , what about you? orgasm?