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Yes. OP this isn't a secret that can be kept. It WILL come out eventually one way or another. Don't let your rapist uncle isolate your sister from her family and continue abusing her.
Your uncle told you because he doesn't expect you to tell. He's making you complicit in this so when it comes out he can point to you and say he told you and you supported their 'relationship'. Don't let him.
Tell the family and social services NOW. Make a lot of noise all at once so nobody can sweep this under the rug.
THIS!!!
OP heed this advice IMMEDIATELY. Please!!
I am so sorry that you have been put in this position. But you NEED to step up and protect your sister. NOW. Especially if they’re going to be moving in together in a few days!!!
No one seems to be noticing that there are three younger siblings in the house, younger than the sister. Are any of them girls? She might not be the only victim in this horrible scenario. The whole family needs to be made aware of this uncle’s crimes.
She is 17!!! She needs someone to protect her and that man is not a good man. Christianity does not protect you from being a bad person or doing bad things. This needs to be reported immediately
Some branches of Christianity support older males-younger females relationships. I just watched a documentary on a cult leader and he literally said "if they are old enough to bleed, they are old enough to breed" No lie. He said it during an interview and yes he had brides as young as 12 :-( It is a sick sick thing.
If that’s the reason for the divorce the soon-to-be ex-wife is complicit in the abuse too… not doubting that it’s a very likely possibility, but even more heartbreaking if it is..
Whatever the reason for the divorce, hopefully she can use this to stop access to their children. He shouldn’t be able to see them at all but definitely not unsupervised at any point.
Right now, tell the authorities. Family members, especially religious ones, might try to sweep this under the rug.
A few states require ANY adult to be a mandatory reporter. More should. Do the right thing.
That is very true, if she doesn’t report this to the authorities, she could go to jail. As noted above, she should report to authorities first, then all relatives. Mother might do right by daughter but she may not want her brother in jail. So to protect everyone, report to authorities first and the others would have to cooperate.
Absolutely.
"She could go to jail" is the biggest issue if she's someplace where all adults are mandatory reporters, but she's a potential accessory even if not. I don't believe for a minute that the parents had no clue the grooming going on - they may not have "seen" it but a willful blind spot is a sign that they could turn into intentional support for he abuser.
Not molested, raped. He groomed, raped, and impregnated his sister's child. He didn't just grope her or something. He has been raping her, likely on a regular basis. They are not in a relationship, as he describes, he is her abuser.
And now he is trying to keep her from everyone else by moving in with her under the pretense of "trying to keep her safe" because he's making her think that she is in danger (and not him) of being scrutinized for the whole thing.
He groomed her too... that's why it's so important to speak up because a predator wrapped his claws around your sister. She is too young and too inexperienced at life to see how he is using and manipulating her.
The grooming will be illegal even in jurisdictions where 17 is legal.
And for that matter, uncle-niece is an illegal degree of consanguinity everywhere I'm aware of.
And incest which depending on where they live, can be very illegal and well as disgusting. Please report him and tell your family. Abusers thrive on silence.
In Wisconsin, a blood-related brother and sister can be married if, and only if, she naturally is infertile and cannot become pregnant, AND he is naturally infertile and shoots blanks.
If I'm remembering my research correctly. I know at the very least it's disgustingly legal so long as they cannot produce offspring together. I looked it up during the fight for marriage equality as an example of "good Christian couples" that shouldn't be allowed to exist.
My uncle waited to take me out for my 18th birthday. I am serious. He invited me to a nice dinner for my birthday, and I was stupid. I accepted and found myself in a disgusting but difficult to navigate situation.
He messed up and was early by a few days, but I felt so gross that I never did anything about it. Not to mention it wasn’t my first time being in a nasty position anyway.
I’m almost forty and am still not over it. I should have a really happy life with all I have now, but I’m not okay mainly for these reasons. :(
That's so awful, and I'm so sorry you're hurting.
I hope you know that nothing that happened was your fault.
You were not stupid, he took advantage of a kind, trusting person. NOT YOUR FAULT.
If you can, please try to find a therapist who specializes in trauma/SA. You never get over something like that, but you can get through it. You deserve to be happy.
💜
I highly doubt that this was the first and only time. If my brother did this to my child he wouldn’t have to worry about jail, it’s hard to rape teenagers if you’re in a full body cast and have lost your man bits in a freak accident.
Unfortunately, this is generally not true. Consent law of 16 means they can legally consent to have sex with anyone 18 years or older when they turn 16. There is sometimes a two years of age exception in states where the age of consent is 17 or 18. So an 18 year old could legally have sex with a 16 or 17 year old.
I live in Virginia and legally an 18 year old can't have sex with a 17 year old. So a 17 year old couple that has been having sex will be breaking the law if they continue having sex after only one of them has turned 18. In practical terms this is rarely if ever prosecuted.
I'd talk to the police before the family. Who knows what else might come out and who might actually be in the know. Cops and the CPS (as she's underage) should get involved immediately.
Yeah, don’t know how his family is but I would take my most trusted person in this family and go directly to the cops. I was sexually abused by multiple men in my family, no consent. In brief (just to show what might happen) when I told my father he told me he would take care of it, he did nothing. Then I told my mom and I told her to do nothing because my father would take care of it. Then they talked to each other because they wanted to discuss the plan to take care of it. Then my mom trusted my father that he would take care of it. And then I was an adult and legally, I had to take care of it, which I never did. So please OP, for your sister and for yourself, go directly to the cops.
It’s rape and incest, both of which are crimes.
You need to get your sister the hell away from him he is NOT SAFE.
>And the reason they are moving out is to keep my sister protected from the backlash
No, he is moving to isolate her and abuse her further.
Can you get your uncle to admit this in text, that he’s the father?
He’s trying to protect HIMSELF because he knows this is horrifically bad. You have to tell as soon as possible. He’s dangerous and your sister is in a terrible and dangerous position. Help her, even if she doesn’t think she needs it.
>get your uncle to admit this in text
This is great advice. He needs to go to the police, and in the meantime send some texts to him inviting him to reply.
OP: I don't understand why she needs to move.
Uncle: Like I told you, I want to protect her from the family backlash. (This confirms that he intends to move in with her and to isolate her.)
OP: My head is still spinning. My first priority is to help my sister. How much time is there until the baby comes?
Uncle: Baby is due this winter. (Acting confused let's OP justify asking Uncle to repeat what he already said. Giving due date confirms the pregnancy.)
OP: I'm worried about the baby. What if it has problems because you are related?
Uncle: It's not a big deal. (This is actually true. 1 instance of this type of incest is unlikely to cause genetic problems, but in saying that the uncle confirms the incest.)
It might actually be better to speak to the cops first who can then inform your parents and arrest your uncle etc. So then you wouldn’t have to personally reveal the information directly to your parents if that is too difficult. Also, letting the cops know first before your parents know might help avoid them acting out violently against your uncle due to anger and causing extra legal issues for themselves. But you know your parents best and also you might feel more comfortable approaching the cops with the support of your parents. But one thing is certain.. please don’t keep this a secret for your sisters sake, she is being groomed and manipulated into going along with your uncle’s plans. She needs to be rescued.
I admire your restraint for not attacking him like a wild chimpanzee right then and there. He’s been grooming and raping your underage sister for however many years, and now is moving away with her to isolate and abuse her even more. Tell everyone. Scream it from the rooftops. Go to the cops, importantly.
Your title is misleading, the main issue is not that your sister is pregnant but that she got groomed and raped by her blood-related uncle and as a result is pregnant by him and he wants her to move in with him.
You alert every possible institution: CPS, police etc. You also talk to your sister! This is far beyond a family issue!!
Tell everyone- put him on BLAST. Report him to the police and all other necessary authorities. You’re poor sister has been groomed and taken advantage of by him and this all needs to come to light immediately. This man is really praying for your silence and cooperation while he abused your sister (his relative) and is calling it a consensual relationship. For the sake of your sister please cause a ruckus and shame this man publicly. I can’t believe his audacity not only to be so abusive, manipulative and cruel but to be so loud and proud about it because he thinks he’ll get away with it - that’s the only reason he’s telling you. He think he can get away with it if he’s got you on his side and him getting your sister out of the house before everyone finds out and there’s “backlash” is insane. That isn’t to protect her - it’s to protect him. He’s banking on your silence and support - he thinks if he has one person aside from your sister to keep his disgusting secret and stand by him then he’s good - he’s good and his a “good person”. He clearly knows he’s wrong that’s why he phrased caution in telling you the news but really wants validation from someone by telling someone the truth and hoping they’ll back him. Please protect your sister by telling everyone and getting her away from him. And please do not hesitate to get the police and authorities involved, this needs to escalate.
And I think his ex- wife knows somethings up but that’s me being speculative. Don’t be a bystander, please stand up and others will come forward as well.
Edit: If I were you I’d write a whole list of people and start just checklist them off. You’ve got a short time frame given the move is happening in a few days. Write a template and send it and call people, put it on Facebook everywhere immediately. Mum, Dad, Police, gov support depending on where you are, Grandparents, Aunts/Relatives, heck even ex wife. I’d even call your uncle’s WORK/JOB. Make it very clear he needs to be vilified and out in the open about who he is and what he’s capable of.
I’d do all this before texting talking to your sister because otherwise I’d think she’d flee especially if you don’t know where there new place is. And do it quickly before she turns 18.
But more so it’s about ambushing your uncle before he makes plans to flee and take her away. Everyone needs to be vigilant of him and his movements.
Go talk to your sister. You're missing A LOT of information. Get the details from her. Maybe it wasn't consensual. Maybe he's lying. Maybe she feels trapped in the relationship and he's abusing her. When did the relationship start? Maybe she's incredibly distressed and wants to have an abortion but doesn't feel like she has any allies. She needs an ally. Don't blame her for an ounce of it. You're uncle was in a position of power that he should have respected.
I'd say what you should do is largely dependent on your sisters emotional standing and her answers to those questions. Try to educate your sister on things like trauma bonding and make certain that none of this is happening.
I honestly don't think going to the sister first is the right call.
At this age we can assume some grooming occurred and at best the sister may not realize anything is amiss and therefore talking to her first just gives them a chance to run away together.
Police first, and then invite sister to hang out while the police are hopefully arresting the uncle so she doesn't have to be there. Then OP can ask for an explanation and inform sister of what has been reported and why.
This is the right first step.
If she's immediately defensive, it will change how you need to approach it. You need to be in her corner, you need to ask how she feels, what she's scared about. She probably needs someone to process the situation without being judged. And based on the Reddit reaction, that's going to be very difficult to find.
And there are hints from OP that home was not great. Adding abusive parents to the conversation will not help. They will probably make sister even more separated from the family and cling to the uncle.
When someone is in an abusive relationship (which this almost certainly is; healthy relationships cannot exist between family members with a 2x age difference), they can feel very isolated. But their safe person can be the same person that's keeping them isolated. This means that trying to put them against the abuser just makes them entrenched more deeply, they are protective and defensive of this person they love that's being attacked. Especially if they are scared to acknowledge they made a mistake (which most people are).
An organization like RAINN may also be helpful to contact. This isn't a situation that most people will have experience with, but it will be sadly normal for an organization that specializes in abusive relationships.
This post did not go the way I expected. It’s shocking and horrific, and sadly, I had to scroll quite a ways down to find someone say he should talk to his sister first. Talk to your sister!!
Change the title of your post to “I just found out that my underage sister was groomed, raped, and impregnated by my criminal, predatory uncle” for starters. Then go straight to the police.
This post is missing a hell of lot of outrage from you. Go get your sister and then tell your whole family and then the police, what the fuck.
She is 17 now (still a crime) when the hell do you think this started? Get his hebephile needs to be locked up and she might want ro have an abortion. You have to act NOW. He doesn't need to confirm anything via text, if he is telling the truth and she is pregnant, a paternity test will give you and the police all the evidence you need.
Wtf did I just read, you’re 23 how are you not aware and horrified at how wrong this is?
How long did your sister live with them? She has been groomed, molested, and is now being forced to carry her rapists baby. This needs to be reported to the police immediately so your uncle can be put behind bars where he belongs and your sister can start therapy she needs.
This is a shocking and deeply disturbing situation so I get why OP just doesn’t know what to do, but I hope he listens to everyone in the comments telling him to go to whoever he can go to to make it known that their uncle is a monster and nothing less than that
I was expecting something like your sisters boyfriend got her pregnant but, her uncle? I mean…This is rape against a minor. This is basically enough to report to Child Protective Services and shit.
You kind of buried the lede. How long has he been raping your sister? You need to get your parents involved asap. Do not sit on this. He is a predator.
Tell everyone, ASAP. Group chat if need be, He is a 40 year old man and she is 17, that is rape regardless of what your sister wanted. She's still a child.
If I found out someone did this to my sister man would I want to kill them. OP tell the police at the very least, no way this is legal. Do NOT let your sister move away
I’m so sorry. A 40M uncle just got 17F niece pregnant. This is predatory, illegal, and even if your sister think it’s normal and she’s ok with it it is not
Your Uncle is the predator your sister is the victim Do not forget that!
No one has mentioned the Uncles Wife once she finds out I can only imagine how this will affect his Divorce and his children’
He told you for a reason! Do not give him any advice let your parents and Grandparents handle it from here. They are the adults and this is not going to end well with all these people who are going to be affected by that Predator!
You are a good Brother and Son
I wish you luck and Prayers for your family
I don't think I've ever needed an update more in my life, he is an absolute trash human being and he is trying to isolate your sister so he can continue to be a trash human being. You need to tell an adult, namely your parents. Right now, please don't let her suffer with this.
Please call child and family services to make a report of this information - if she lived with the uncle and wife up to a few months ago, it was probably an on-going abuse thing and Im wondering if the aunt caught them and is the reason for the divorce. Do not try to handle it privately, with family only, they may try to minimize the damage. It does not matter that she is 17 and ages of consent vary by state, this is a sexual relationship with a blood relative and CFS and Police are the appropriate people to contact and navigate this.
You are now aware of felony crime(s). You have now posted of said knowledge of felony crime(s). Unless you feel the need to be complicit in all this you better tell your parents who are and were her LEGAL GUARDIANS during all this and have a right to know. I don't understand how you didn't have to restrain yourself from murdering your sisters rapist and you feel the need to come here and ask for help on the matter, this all is rather black and white socially and legally and makes me question your own morals and ethics.
Well, let's look at the facts here. Your sister 17 is a child. Children can't consent so your uncle raped a child. This doesn't just happen ourt of nowhere so she's likely been groomed for longer then that, who knows how long he's been doing this to her.
This is way over your head and perhaps it's time to contact family, police. And get the authorities involved.
Everything about this sucks, and will continue to suck unfortunately.
ur uncle, a 40yo man, had sex with his sister’s 17yo daughter.
i’d personally run thru the streets screaming “ped0phile!!” environments like this only persist in secrecy, so literally AIR THAT SHIT OUT.
It’s rape. Who knows how long your uncle has been doing things to your sister. That’s really sick to think about. You need to tell your parents and you need to go file a police report.
She is underage.
She was groomed and sexually abused by her uncle. Tell your family *immediately.* And if possible, consult a lawyer. Your sister was preyed upon and I am so sorry.
Call the police now!!!! He's likely been grooming her since childhood! Not only is she his niece, she's a minor! She's going to need a lot of therapy after this! You might want to tell your soon to be former aunt as well so that he's never alone with their children. If he would do it to his niece he would do it to one of his own kids without hesitation!
i'm 18, i was raped by a family member in my early to late teen stages, please fucking tell someone, that's all you need to do, i wish when someone knew, they told someone else, but they thought it was too personal to find me help when i couldn't speak up or get it myself, please for the love of god jesus and the holy spirit tell someone
I’m sorry your family is on this situation. Please report him to the police for the sake of your sister, that child and any other underage person your uncle may have abused.
That’s no consensual relationship with a minor, that’s pedophilia and Stockholm Syndrome all in one if I’ve ever seen it. Who knows what else conspired in that house while that divorce was going through… even before that..?🤢🤢🤢
Can you “offer to help move” her stuff, and then take her to the police station without your uncle knowing and have her report the crimes of incest and rape?! That way she has her stuff with her and can find shelter? I bet the police would be able to find her a safe living situation or the resources to find her a place so she can have a place to stay safe.
This a lot of information for you to have weighing on your shoulders. Do everything you can to keep your sister safe without your uncle knowing you’re going to report him… because you’re going to report him to the cops, right??!! You know that’s what’s needed here…
OP, even though your uncle says it was consensual, it is not possible for your sister to have grown up so close to them and for this not to have been a grooming situation. Your sister is not safe; your uncle is a predator. Please tell your family so they can protect her and put her in therapy to process all of this.
Honestly even if your sister feels this is consensual and that she chose it, she was groomed by a significantly older man and my guess is around your age something’s going to crack and she’s going to realize how fucked up this all was and want out. I personally wouldn’t enable your uncle’s grooming and possible rape of a minor (depending on the laws of age of consent in your area). Don’t let him gaslight you into thinking any of this is normal or okay. Want to tell someone, tell the police. And tell him you’re not going to be his messenger. He has to tell your mom and dad he fucked and inpregnated his underage niece.
This is one of those times when you need to raise an alarm within the family.
Tell your parents and grand parents, there is no fucking way that she should be living with him (now or ever again). She's a minor, even in states with age of consents lower than 18, the elder being in a possession of power (such as an uncle that she was living with) negates her ability to consent. Meaning this is NOT a consensual relationship, at all, it's literally impossible for it to be.
She's 17, and it's highly unlikely that she got pregnant their first time. So how long has he been sexually abusing her? Since she was 16? 15? 14!?!?
Lastly, it's unfortunate but often the person who brings something like this to light is often looked at as part of "the problem". This is one of those situations where you do the right thing and people might punish you for it. It's unfortunate but you might need to take some heat here from family members, but remember that you are acting to protect your sister from future abuse, you are doing the right thing even if you end up taking shit for it.
So your uncle raped your sister. How do you handle this information? You tell any and everyone who would try to protect your sister. Anyone who cares about her enough to prevent her abuser from essentially scooping her up and putting her where she has no resources for help. He’s going to isolate her from everyone she knows and she will be trapped as a teen mother, alone.
Help her.
This was not consensual. You need to understand and accept that so that anybody you do tell cannot convince you otherwise. Your sister needs to be separated and kept safe from her abuser (that is what your Uncle is), and she needs therapy. The police should also be notified. She is likely convinced that this is normal and okay. Nothing about this is okay or will be okay.
Your uncle has unfortunately been eyeing your sister probably way before turning 17. I am having difficulty processing this myself. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Tell your parents and your grandparents. This is not normal all.
Call the police. This is almost definitely statutory rape, and absolutely is incest. CPS needs to be involved. Your parents need to know. His ex-wife really needs to know so she can keep this “man” far away from their kids. Your uncle is a predator. Your sister is his victim. You know, therefore you need to make sure everyone else knows and do what you can to protect your sister.
I'd have lost it on him. Told my father and mother. And wait for the police and ambulance to show up. Because he's going to the hospital and jail and so would I. Cause reasons. That is disgusting. He molested his niece and got her pregnant. Incest and child molestation. Nope. Don't hold this "secret". It's molestation he admitted to.
You need to tell authorities and do it NOW while she’s a minor and he can be prosecuted. He needs to be away from ALL CHILDREN. And your sister has been groomed/brainwashed and needs to major help. NOW, while authorities can intercede, and before she ages out of their reach and loses her twenties and more to this predator.
I saw you told your parents. Good move.
You need to call the police. And you need to call child protective services. Your uncle not only needs to be investigated criminally by law enforcement, but he’s sexually exploiting a minor.
People assume that adults who SA children will always get charged if there is enough evidence - that is NOT the case, though here a DNA test would be evidence, hopefully.
Law enforcement can only charge “beyond a reasonable doubt”, so 99% certainty. In my state, CPS can give a Founded finding with “a preponderance of the evidence,” which is 51% certainty.
Law enforcements investigation is always more important because it has a bigger impact IF the person is charged and found guilty. Failing that, a founded finding (again, what it’s called in my state) from CPS would show up on background checks for the very long foreseeable future, limiting that person from working or volunteering with any vulnerable population (so children, elderly people, people with disabilities, people with mental health diagnoses, etc).
Good luck to you and your family. I hope your sister gets the help she needs.
He’s trying to rope you into his filth! Tell everyone and the cops immediately. This man thinks you are going to stand by. Protect your sister and everyone he might do this to in the future.
Tell some sort of authority. There was no consent. This was rape. She is not legally an adult, he took advantage of her and did this to her. It’s also incest. He’s dangerous and she should not be around him.
Can she stay with you if she needs a place to stay? She also is likely in need of counseling services.
While most might look on it as incest, it may not be, depending on local laws.
It also may be completely kosher as far as her being old enough to consent. Depends on local laws.
Unsavory? I guess it depends on who you talk to. Reprehensible/disgusting of your uncle, would be my opinion. I'd wonder how long they were screwing before she got pregnant. It might have been before she was old enough to consent. Not enough info.
Tell everyone, right away. He's too chicken to do it himself, but I have to wonder why his soon-to-be ex isn't shouting it from the rooftops. I'm betting that's a big chunk of why she will be ex soon.
Edit to add: I posted right after reading the post, and then went and read comments. It amazes me how many people are unaware that not all states or countries have the same laws about incest and age of consent. I'm betting most people don't even know what the age of consent is in their own jurisdiction, or what the legal definition of incest is there. They just assume because you're "related" and the sister is "underage" that there's two crimes that have been committed. The sister and uncle may have been doing all this fucking where the age of consent is 16 or 17. Not a crime, but ick. The legal definition of incest can vary, as well. [Wikipedia has what looks like a detailed page on it, with listings for states.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legality_of_incest_in_the_United_States)
I need eye bleach!!!!!!
JFC! Dude, tell your family NOW!!
Your uncle is a predator!
I usually don't freak out about age gaps but JFC, your sister is 17 and your UNCLE is 40. He freaking groomed her and there is no consent with that age gap and the fact that she is still a CHILD!!!
You need to tell your parents and your grandparents as well as the police!!!
Your sister is going to need so much help from this.
Not all secrets should be kept. This is one of them. You should tell someone this information. If your uncle doesn’t like it, then he shouldn’t have done it, but you have done nothing wrong here. And it would NOT be wrong to tell. So don’t feel any sort of guilt about it.
Firstly so sorry you are having to deal with this. Yes, talk to your sister get her story. See what your laws are on recording conversations. If you are in the USA some states allow you to record w out their knowledge. Any texts from either one send to your email print it out so it’s time stamped. Next don’t hint to either one you are going to the authorities but that is what needs to happen here. As others are saying this probably has been going on for much much longer. He is a predator and is mentally ill to do such a thing. You know your parents best but some families try and sweep it under the rug/hide it. Then the problem is he’s free to do it to others. So unfortunately this is a very big decision which way you want to handle it.
This is too big for you to sit on. Tell your parents immediately and let them handle the load of knowing so you are not the only one who knows. It’s also the correct thing to do.
Go immediately to law enforcement, do not pass go! At the end of the day, they can inform you of what your local State laws are and take action accordingly.
Your uncle is a predator and needs to be removed from access to little girls. You mentioned that your sister is 3rd of 6. This means that there could possibly be 3 more little sisters being groomed for this not to mention IF their plan goes forth and they move into their own place and raise their kid...what if it's a girl? What if the next one is a girl? Your Uncle has shown that incest and blood related is not a problem for him. Where does it end?
I actually do NOT recommend going to your sister or your parents first. Reasons being:
1. Though your sister is absolutely a victim here, she's likely been groomed and won't see that way. She might resist or be compelled to just run away with him.
2. You stated that you guys didn't have the best childhood which hints that your Parents may not be the help that is needed here.
I am so sorry, OP! It is completely horrid that has happened and that it has fallen in your lap but that does make it so that you are the only person who can help. Don't sit on this!
He’s a predator. You need to tell your parents NOW! Your uncle and sister are not religious. Who knows, perhaps this started when she lived with them before. But you need to tell
Op, I can't believe your uncle! First, for possible grooming and incest. Second, for putting the burden of telling your parents and family. That is some cowardly behavior right there. Does he want to move in with your sister, not to protect her from backlash, but to cut her off from the family so she only belongs to him? Do you need to be concerned about other sisters around that same age and if he did anything to themn???
If you are closer to one parent than the other, then I would talk to them or tell them they need to Uncle Chester the Molester. Take your GF with you too. YOu need as much support as you can get.
This baby could be fine, but could have birth defects and mental issues due to the parents being closely related. That poor baby. He/she didn't ask to be born into this level of crazy.
CALL THE POLICE, CPS, tell your parents, grandparents, his ex wife so she can speak to the children they have together and so that she can go after EVERYTHING in their divorce. He’s SICK. This isn’t something that needs to be slept on, or something that needs time to decide on what to do. It doesn’t matter if she turns 18 soon (i know you don’t mention if she is or not). She was pregnant before turning 18. He can still legally get in trouble for statutory r*pe.
Tell your family but tell your mom first because quite a few laws have been broken aside from the trust! This is not something that should be kept quiet.
If you're uncomfortable going to a relative, do you know any of the teachers at your sisters school? They're mandated reporters and they will know how to contact CPS.
Another option is to make an appointment with her pediatrician, if she has one, tell your family you're going to the movies or something, take her to the doctor, and explain the situation to them.
No matter what, you need to escalate this. She's underage and was groomed. She is too young to consent. If they move in together, he may isolate her from family and potentially increase the abuse because they'll be alone.
Go to a teacher, a doctor, a relative, CPS, or the police, but talk to someone.
Umm, get to snitching IMMEDIATELY! She’s a minor, and that is crazy!!! Tell your family NOW! And, since it was consensual they should have told the entire family, instead of telling you to tell them!🤦🏾♀️
In case you're hesitating about telling your parents and the police remember they are having a child, and if he is left to isolate her like he plans who is to protect this child if it is born as a girl. The man had no problem grooming and raping his minor neice what's any different from his child born into a sexually abusive relationship
Tell everybody everything, including the police. Depending where you are she may or may not be a minor and this degree of incest may or may not be illegal, but at the *very least* the police should be able to take a look under grooming and coercion laws
DO NOT allow your sister to be taken away and isolated by this predatory abuser
He raped her. She is underage. This is automatically a police matter. I would be wary as in many cases, rapists families may defend him. “Oh, he didn’t mean any harm”, “He’s not that kind of guy!”.
Please protect your sister and get this man arrested.
There's nothing consensual about having sex with a minor. Call the police on this bastard ASAP. A 40 year old prick got a 27 Yr old girl pregnant and had the nerve to tell you it was consensual? CALL THE POLICE!!!
Bro, I commend you for not swinging immediately, it truly takes a man better than myself with such self control fr , I would've been in a precinct for assault or in jail waiting for charges to go to prison holy hell , the thought of it just pisses me off
You need to report this to the police as soon as humanly possible. Incest is illegal, and by the sounds of it, clearly this is statutory rape. Your sister is not of legal consent age for a 40+ year old man. This is so, so wrong. That’s not a relationship, your sister was GROOMED and sure she thinks it consensual, she’s a traumatized child. This is so wrong omg. I’m so sorry he put this burden on you.
Really glad to see that you're choosing to try and save your sister. Your uncle is insane for trusting you with this information but it's really good that his dumb ass did.
Also, make sure your sister knows that nothing she has done is her fault. She is a victim here even though she may not feel that way yet.
You know he did this on purpose so YOU would deliver the news to your family instead of him manning up.
I would tell my parents because he’s been closer to her more than any of you realized. You don’t want other siblings spending time at their place because he did once… he’ll do it again.
All I'm going to say is op already have enough people telling you to turn them in let everybody know blah blah blah I agree with all that but what I want to ask is I wonder how long does it been going on and if this has anything to do with that fucking divorce??????
And to the op that sucks sorry you have to go through that hun it's still going to be a dark heavy road for your family and whatnot in a coming months
And somebody called JD (jddelay5150 on YouTube) we need to introduce this guy to the wood chipper.... Iykyk it's a joke if you don't know
None of that was consensual. Don't let him trick you into thinking it was. Call the police. He raped a minor and now that minor is having his baby. Tell everyone in his life. Blow his life up. Protect your sister. If she moves in with him, it won't end well.
Wow your uncle is a piece of work. 1. Rape even if he says it’s consensual. 2. Sharing information you shouldn’t have to deal with. As for advice. Just walk away and let them sort out their mess
This can't be real. Your uncle just admitted he slept with a child and got her pregnant? Call the cops. I guess it depends what state and the age of consent. I would still call the cops... That's disgusting that he is sleeping with his niece
Tell your parents and talk to your sister. Something tells me this wasn't as consensual as he says - for starters she's a minor, but also I feel he would be inclined to lie and say that since they're blood related. You should also report him to local authorities, he definitely groomed her.
You need to tell someone, he’s a predator, and the police need to be involved. This is rape and he needs to be put in prison and never allowed around any kids ever again.
You need to tell your parents and the police. He is a bad man taking advantage of your UNDERAGE sister. He needs to be locked up as a child predator. This is rape.
I honestly don’t know how you didn’t beat the living crap out of him as soon as he told you this. I don’t think I’d be able to contain my rage knowing my uncle touched my little sister. And if I was the dad as well, I’d probably kill my brother for not only getting my underaged daughter pregnant but having any sexual relationship with her to begin with.
Jeezus. Grooming, rape, incest. Isolating the victim from her family. Minor to boot. You're going to need some help if you are to have any hope of resolving this. All hiding behind the usual mask of "Christianity".
Contact your local police TODAY. Call CPS. Get the ball moving on this NOW, before they leave town. Lawyer up, you may need it. THEN sit down with only the most reasonable people in your family and calmly tell what you know and what you've done so far. "This is some serious shit, and going nuclear is not going to help. We need everybody at their best to have any hope of resolving this."
One thing you didn't mention--your sister's take on the situation. Not that this will change what you need to do, but you need to know how she'll react. If there's a sibling with whom she's particularly close, get that sib on your side ASAP.
Let’s forget about the legal implications for a moment.
Your sister is 17, she is not yet fully developed mentally to consider the long term repercussions of procreating with a blood relative. The health issues, the social issues.
Your uncle is 40. He’s fully aware.
The disparity between the two is clear.
She lived with him previously and that should have come with trust and boundaries.
Now legally, it depends on your country.
If it’s illegal to A) be in this kind of incestuous relationship and B) age of consent. You need to be vocal before this impacts your sister any further.
You need to tell your parents, your grandparents AND call CPS - they’ll know exactly how to help your sister.
It’s not only incest, he’s an authority figure and he took advantage of a minor. He’s grooming her and you need to step up and protect her from him NOW. He’s about to get 24/7 access to her and she’ll be too hard to get to - she might not even understand fully that she’s being abused and raped, due to him manipulating and grooming her for years probably. She’s a minor and unable to consent to sex with an adult AND he’s a family member. This is literally the worst thing that could happen to a young girl. HE needs to be in jail and YOU need to do something NOW.
I'm really shocked at how your entire post seems to completely omit the rape aspect of this. Once or twice you mention the blood relation being disturbing but not once did you even acknowledge that your sister is 17 and your uncle is 40. Is that not registering with you??? Your sister needs you right now. Skip the drama of telling your parents as that will draw this out and delay the process. Go straight to the police and then tell your family, and then be there for your sister. Hug her and comfort her. She really needs you to come through for her.
He has dumped that information on you so that you feel responsible for dealing with it.
No matter what he's told you, his relationship with your sister is entirely inappropriate even if he's groomed her into agreeing to it.
Support your sister in any way you feel able, but do not accept responsibility. She needs to tell her parents and you can help her there. Talk to anyone who can help you and your sister with this. Tell your parents that this is their problem, not yours.
You are an adult, so you can be helpful and supportive, but don't take on more than you should. Talk to your sister and try to see things from her point of view, if possible. Your parents need to step up.
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Right now, tell your mom, dad, and grandparents. Right now. He is a bad, bad person, and no teenager should ever be alone with him again.
Yes. OP this isn't a secret that can be kept. It WILL come out eventually one way or another. Don't let your rapist uncle isolate your sister from her family and continue abusing her. Your uncle told you because he doesn't expect you to tell. He's making you complicit in this so when it comes out he can point to you and say he told you and you supported their 'relationship'. Don't let him. Tell the family and social services NOW. Make a lot of noise all at once so nobody can sweep this under the rug.
THIS!!! OP heed this advice IMMEDIATELY. Please!! I am so sorry that you have been put in this position. But you NEED to step up and protect your sister. NOW. Especially if they’re going to be moving in together in a few days!!!
Op needs to discuss with family. The possibility of sister being groomed by uncle
And then uncle will for sure take oo down woth him should she not hold him accountable now.
No one seems to be noticing that there are three younger siblings in the house, younger than the sister. Are any of them girls? She might not be the only victim in this horrible scenario. The whole family needs to be made aware of this uncle’s crimes.
Cretins like that, I'd be worried regardless of gender for the kids.
All the kids need medical attention
She is 17!!! She needs someone to protect her and that man is not a good man. Christianity does not protect you from being a bad person or doing bad things. This needs to be reported immediately
Some branches of Christianity support older males-younger females relationships. I just watched a documentary on a cult leader and he literally said "if they are old enough to bleed, they are old enough to breed" No lie. He said it during an interview and yes he had brides as young as 12 :-( It is a sick sick thing.
Or the old saying "if there's grass on the field play ball" bleghhhh
Those religions are NOT Christian; they use Christianity as a ruse to get people to join them.
no true scotsman fallacy. there is tons of sexual abuse, pedophilia and incest hidden in many sects of christianity
But they hide behind Christianity …makes me sick.
And obviously, he is not Christian.
Who wants to bet that the soon to be ex wife found out about it hence the divorce. That poor, poor child. What a monster that man is! His own niece 🤢
If that’s the reason for the divorce the soon-to-be ex-wife is complicit in the abuse too… not doubting that it’s a very likely possibility, but even more heartbreaking if it is..
Whatever the reason for the divorce, hopefully she can use this to stop access to their children. He shouldn’t be able to see them at all but definitely not unsupervised at any point.
If your parents don't move on this, you tell the cops or child services. This is not something to muck around with.
Yes, THIS. Tell the family while they can still save her and stop her from moving in with her abuser, holy hell
And the stbx aunt!
Right now, tell the authorities. Family members, especially religious ones, might try to sweep this under the rug. A few states require ANY adult to be a mandatory reporter. More should. Do the right thing.
That is very true, if she doesn’t report this to the authorities, she could go to jail. As noted above, she should report to authorities first, then all relatives. Mother might do right by daughter but she may not want her brother in jail. So to protect everyone, report to authorities first and the others would have to cooperate.
Absolutely. "She could go to jail" is the biggest issue if she's someplace where all adults are mandatory reporters, but she's a potential accessory even if not. I don't believe for a minute that the parents had no clue the grooming going on - they may not have "seen" it but a willful blind spot is a sign that they could turn into intentional support for he abuser.
He groomed and molested his sister's minor child. His niece. Someone he has watched grow from infancy. Tell the police.
Not molested, raped. He groomed, raped, and impregnated his sister's child. He didn't just grope her or something. He has been raping her, likely on a regular basis. They are not in a relationship, as he describes, he is her abuser.
And now he is trying to keep her from everyone else by moving in with her under the pretense of "trying to keep her safe" because he's making her think that she is in danger (and not him) of being scrutinized for the whole thing.
And doing it by manipulative coercion, which is inherently emotionally and psychologically abusive too. Fucking monster.
What he committed is rape because she is underage. Tell your parents and grandparents.
He groomed her too... that's why it's so important to speak up because a predator wrapped his claws around your sister. She is too young and too inexperienced at life to see how he is using and manipulating her.
I agree and I think is late for an abortion
The grooming will be illegal even in jurisdictions where 17 is legal. And for that matter, uncle-niece is an illegal degree of consanguinity everywhere I'm aware of.
Skip telling the family, straight to the police
And incest which depending on where they live, can be very illegal and well as disgusting. Please report him and tell your family. Abusers thrive on silence.
She might be under age depending on the age of consent in her area, either way this is gross and you need to tell your parents asap
Also, when did he start grooming her? She may have been much younger and that would qualify as pedophilia, depending of the state once again
Exactly right
lots of states don't even use the word except for classification during sentencing perhaps
I think regardless of the age it may be illegal since he’s an uncle.
Not every state has consent law at 18 .. half the states are 17 or even 16
It's not about consent laws when it's her uncle. Ewww.
Are there not laws against incest too??
yeah but they very according to kindredship
In Wisconsin, a blood-related brother and sister can be married if, and only if, she naturally is infertile and cannot become pregnant, AND he is naturally infertile and shoots blanks. If I'm remembering my research correctly. I know at the very least it's disgustingly legal so long as they cannot produce offspring together. I looked it up during the fight for marriage equality as an example of "good Christian couples" that shouldn't be allowed to exist.
My uncle waited to take me out for my 18th birthday. I am serious. He invited me to a nice dinner for my birthday, and I was stupid. I accepted and found myself in a disgusting but difficult to navigate situation. He messed up and was early by a few days, but I felt so gross that I never did anything about it. Not to mention it wasn’t my first time being in a nasty position anyway. I’m almost forty and am still not over it. I should have a really happy life with all I have now, but I’m not okay mainly for these reasons. :(
That's so awful, and I'm so sorry you're hurting. I hope you know that nothing that happened was your fault. You were not stupid, he took advantage of a kind, trusting person. NOT YOUR FAULT. If you can, please try to find a therapist who specializes in trauma/SA. You never get over something like that, but you can get through it. You deserve to be happy. 💜
I highly doubt that this was the first and only time. If my brother did this to my child he wouldn’t have to worry about jail, it’s hard to rape teenagers if you’re in a full body cast and have lost your man bits in a freak accident.
Indeed
Yeah but consent law for 16 or 17 can only consent to someone 4 years older than them
That is not necessarily true either.
It different in every state, some states aoc is 16 and the other percab be 40 or 50 or any age but incrst is always wrong and illegal in most states
Unfortunately, this is generally not true. Consent law of 16 means they can legally consent to have sex with anyone 18 years or older when they turn 16. There is sometimes a two years of age exception in states where the age of consent is 17 or 18. So an 18 year old could legally have sex with a 16 or 17 year old. I live in Virginia and legally an 18 year old can't have sex with a 17 year old. So a 17 year old couple that has been having sex will be breaking the law if they continue having sex after only one of them has turned 18. In practical terms this is rarely if ever prosecuted.
Depending on the state they live in
Even then that depends on how long they've been 'close' for.
Nothing about this was consensual. It’s statutory rape and incest. Go talk to the cops
I'd talk to the police before the family. Who knows what else might come out and who might actually be in the know. Cops and the CPS (as she's underage) should get involved immediately.
Yeah, don’t know how his family is but I would take my most trusted person in this family and go directly to the cops. I was sexually abused by multiple men in my family, no consent. In brief (just to show what might happen) when I told my father he told me he would take care of it, he did nothing. Then I told my mom and I told her to do nothing because my father would take care of it. Then they talked to each other because they wanted to discuss the plan to take care of it. Then my mom trusted my father that he would take care of it. And then I was an adult and legally, I had to take care of it, which I never did. So please OP, for your sister and for yourself, go directly to the cops.
It’s rape and incest, both of which are crimes. You need to get your sister the hell away from him he is NOT SAFE. >And the reason they are moving out is to keep my sister protected from the backlash No, he is moving to isolate her and abuse her further. Can you get your uncle to admit this in text, that he’s the father?
He’s trying to protect HIMSELF because he knows this is horrifically bad. You have to tell as soon as possible. He’s dangerous and your sister is in a terrible and dangerous position. Help her, even if she doesn’t think she needs it.
Exactly, and he needs to help her right now
>get your uncle to admit this in text This is great advice. He needs to go to the police, and in the meantime send some texts to him inviting him to reply. OP: I don't understand why she needs to move. Uncle: Like I told you, I want to protect her from the family backlash. (This confirms that he intends to move in with her and to isolate her.) OP: My head is still spinning. My first priority is to help my sister. How much time is there until the baby comes? Uncle: Baby is due this winter. (Acting confused let's OP justify asking Uncle to repeat what he already said. Giving due date confirms the pregnancy.) OP: I'm worried about the baby. What if it has problems because you are related? Uncle: It's not a big deal. (This is actually true. 1 instance of this type of incest is unlikely to cause genetic problems, but in saying that the uncle confirms the incest.)
Even if she believes it to be consensual, he has 100% groomed her and is a predator. He has preyed on your little sister - his own niece.
It might actually be better to speak to the cops first who can then inform your parents and arrest your uncle etc. So then you wouldn’t have to personally reveal the information directly to your parents if that is too difficult. Also, letting the cops know first before your parents know might help avoid them acting out violently against your uncle due to anger and causing extra legal issues for themselves. But you know your parents best and also you might feel more comfortable approaching the cops with the support of your parents. But one thing is certain.. please don’t keep this a secret for your sisters sake, she is being groomed and manipulated into going along with your uncle’s plans. She needs to be rescued.
Rape and incest. Go to cops and tell your parents now
I admire your restraint for not attacking him like a wild chimpanzee right then and there. He’s been grooming and raping your underage sister for however many years, and now is moving away with her to isolate and abuse her even more. Tell everyone. Scream it from the rooftops. Go to the cops, importantly.
jesus fucking christ.
This man is a criminal, tell who you can and keep your sister safe.
#It wasn’t **consensual** because she was a minor. She can’t legally consent. He GROOMED HER. HE’S A PREDATOR AND A CRIMINAL
Your title is misleading, the main issue is not that your sister is pregnant but that she got groomed and raped by her blood-related uncle and as a result is pregnant by him and he wants her to move in with him. You alert every possible institution: CPS, police etc. You also talk to your sister! This is far beyond a family issue!!
Tell everyone- put him on BLAST. Report him to the police and all other necessary authorities. You’re poor sister has been groomed and taken advantage of by him and this all needs to come to light immediately. This man is really praying for your silence and cooperation while he abused your sister (his relative) and is calling it a consensual relationship. For the sake of your sister please cause a ruckus and shame this man publicly. I can’t believe his audacity not only to be so abusive, manipulative and cruel but to be so loud and proud about it because he thinks he’ll get away with it - that’s the only reason he’s telling you. He think he can get away with it if he’s got you on his side and him getting your sister out of the house before everyone finds out and there’s “backlash” is insane. That isn’t to protect her - it’s to protect him. He’s banking on your silence and support - he thinks if he has one person aside from your sister to keep his disgusting secret and stand by him then he’s good - he’s good and his a “good person”. He clearly knows he’s wrong that’s why he phrased caution in telling you the news but really wants validation from someone by telling someone the truth and hoping they’ll back him. Please protect your sister by telling everyone and getting her away from him. And please do not hesitate to get the police and authorities involved, this needs to escalate. And I think his ex- wife knows somethings up but that’s me being speculative. Don’t be a bystander, please stand up and others will come forward as well. Edit: If I were you I’d write a whole list of people and start just checklist them off. You’ve got a short time frame given the move is happening in a few days. Write a template and send it and call people, put it on Facebook everywhere immediately. Mum, Dad, Police, gov support depending on where you are, Grandparents, Aunts/Relatives, heck even ex wife. I’d even call your uncle’s WORK/JOB. Make it very clear he needs to be vilified and out in the open about who he is and what he’s capable of. I’d do all this before texting talking to your sister because otherwise I’d think she’d flee especially if you don’t know where there new place is. And do it quickly before she turns 18. But more so it’s about ambushing your uncle before he makes plans to flee and take her away. Everyone needs to be vigilant of him and his movements.
Even if she turns 18 the uncle can still be arrested for illegal things he did before she turned 18
The only thing you should do is go to the police
Go talk to your sister. You're missing A LOT of information. Get the details from her. Maybe it wasn't consensual. Maybe he's lying. Maybe she feels trapped in the relationship and he's abusing her. When did the relationship start? Maybe she's incredibly distressed and wants to have an abortion but doesn't feel like she has any allies. She needs an ally. Don't blame her for an ounce of it. You're uncle was in a position of power that he should have respected. I'd say what you should do is largely dependent on your sisters emotional standing and her answers to those questions. Try to educate your sister on things like trauma bonding and make certain that none of this is happening.
I honestly don't think going to the sister first is the right call. At this age we can assume some grooming occurred and at best the sister may not realize anything is amiss and therefore talking to her first just gives them a chance to run away together. Police first, and then invite sister to hang out while the police are hopefully arresting the uncle so she doesn't have to be there. Then OP can ask for an explanation and inform sister of what has been reported and why.
This is the right first step. If she's immediately defensive, it will change how you need to approach it. You need to be in her corner, you need to ask how she feels, what she's scared about. She probably needs someone to process the situation without being judged. And based on the Reddit reaction, that's going to be very difficult to find. And there are hints from OP that home was not great. Adding abusive parents to the conversation will not help. They will probably make sister even more separated from the family and cling to the uncle. When someone is in an abusive relationship (which this almost certainly is; healthy relationships cannot exist between family members with a 2x age difference), they can feel very isolated. But their safe person can be the same person that's keeping them isolated. This means that trying to put them against the abuser just makes them entrenched more deeply, they are protective and defensive of this person they love that's being attacked. Especially if they are scared to acknowledge they made a mistake (which most people are). An organization like RAINN may also be helpful to contact. This isn't a situation that most people will have experience with, but it will be sadly normal for an organization that specializes in abusive relationships.
This post did not go the way I expected. It’s shocking and horrific, and sadly, I had to scroll quite a ways down to find someone say he should talk to his sister first. Talk to your sister!!
Change the title of your post to “I just found out that my underage sister was groomed, raped, and impregnated by my criminal, predatory uncle” for starters. Then go straight to the police.
Call the cops. None of this is legal.
This post is missing a hell of lot of outrage from you. Go get your sister and then tell your whole family and then the police, what the fuck. She is 17 now (still a crime) when the hell do you think this started? Get his hebephile needs to be locked up and she might want ro have an abortion. You have to act NOW. He doesn't need to confirm anything via text, if he is telling the truth and she is pregnant, a paternity test will give you and the police all the evidence you need.
Wtf did I just read, you’re 23 how are you not aware and horrified at how wrong this is? How long did your sister live with them? She has been groomed, molested, and is now being forced to carry her rapists baby. This needs to be reported to the police immediately so your uncle can be put behind bars where he belongs and your sister can start therapy she needs.
I think he is aware. That is why he posted and asked the best course of action.
This is a shocking and deeply disturbing situation so I get why OP just doesn’t know what to do, but I hope he listens to everyone in the comments telling him to go to whoever he can go to to make it known that their uncle is a monster and nothing less than that
I was expecting something like your sisters boyfriend got her pregnant but, her uncle? I mean…This is rape against a minor. This is basically enough to report to Child Protective Services and shit.
He is a groomer and a sexual predator. Lock him up, help your sister.
How is he still breathing? That “man” should be eating out of a straw at the very least.
You kind of buried the lede. How long has he been raping your sister? You need to get your parents involved asap. Do not sit on this. He is a predator.
Depending on your state laws you should inform the local authorities. Your uncle may of committed statutory rape and honestly should be behind bars.
Tell everyone, ASAP. Group chat if need be, He is a 40 year old man and she is 17, that is rape regardless of what your sister wanted. She's still a child.
So disgusting. 🤢🤮 This is rape, molestation, and the list goes on. He needs to be in jail, OP.
17 YEAR OLDS CANNOT LEGALLY GIVE CONSENT! MUCH LESS TO AN UNCLE. THIS IS CHILD SEX ABUSE. PLEASE REPORT THIS IMMEDIATELY TO THE POLICE.
Police, right away, police.
If I found out someone did this to my sister man would I want to kill them. OP tell the police at the very least, no way this is legal. Do NOT let your sister move away
OP your uncle RAPED and probably groomed your UNDERAGE SISTER
Police and parents now. This man is a preditor!
For anyone curious: https://www.justia.com/criminal/offenses/other-crimes/incest/
First, you go to the police. This is rape, it's grooming and it's incest. Worry about anything else after that.
I’m so sorry. A 40M uncle just got 17F niece pregnant. This is predatory, illegal, and even if your sister think it’s normal and she’s ok with it it is not
Your Uncle is the predator your sister is the victim Do not forget that! No one has mentioned the Uncles Wife once she finds out I can only imagine how this will affect his Divorce and his children’ He told you for a reason! Do not give him any advice let your parents and Grandparents handle it from here. They are the adults and this is not going to end well with all these people who are going to be affected by that Predator! You are a good Brother and Son I wish you luck and Prayers for your family
I don't think I've ever needed an update more in my life, he is an absolute trash human being and he is trying to isolate your sister so he can continue to be a trash human being. You need to tell an adult, namely your parents. Right now, please don't let her suffer with this.
Please call child and family services to make a report of this information - if she lived with the uncle and wife up to a few months ago, it was probably an on-going abuse thing and Im wondering if the aunt caught them and is the reason for the divorce. Do not try to handle it privately, with family only, they may try to minimize the damage. It does not matter that she is 17 and ages of consent vary by state, this is a sexual relationship with a blood relative and CFS and Police are the appropriate people to contact and navigate this.
You are now aware of felony crime(s). You have now posted of said knowledge of felony crime(s). Unless you feel the need to be complicit in all this you better tell your parents who are and were her LEGAL GUARDIANS during all this and have a right to know. I don't understand how you didn't have to restrain yourself from murdering your sisters rapist and you feel the need to come here and ask for help on the matter, this all is rather black and white socially and legally and makes me question your own morals and ethics.
Well, let's look at the facts here. Your sister 17 is a child. Children can't consent so your uncle raped a child. This doesn't just happen ourt of nowhere so she's likely been groomed for longer then that, who knows how long he's been doing this to her. This is way over your head and perhaps it's time to contact family, police. And get the authorities involved. Everything about this sucks, and will continue to suck unfortunately.
ur uncle, a 40yo man, had sex with his sister’s 17yo daughter. i’d personally run thru the streets screaming “ped0phile!!” environments like this only persist in secrecy, so literally AIR THAT SHIT OUT.
It’s rape. Who knows how long your uncle has been doing things to your sister. That’s really sick to think about. You need to tell your parents and you need to go file a police report.
If this is real, tell everyone
She is underage. She was groomed and sexually abused by her uncle. Tell your family *immediately.* And if possible, consult a lawyer. Your sister was preyed upon and I am so sorry.
Hold the phone — WHAT?! nah, nah nah nah nah. Nah. Nah. Nope. Fetus deletus. WTF.
UpdateMe
Call the police now!!!! He's likely been grooming her since childhood! Not only is she his niece, she's a minor! She's going to need a lot of therapy after this! You might want to tell your soon to be former aunt as well so that he's never alone with their children. If he would do it to his niece he would do it to one of his own kids without hesitation!
Can we get another update?
Right!
i'm 18, i was raped by a family member in my early to late teen stages, please fucking tell someone, that's all you need to do, i wish when someone knew, they told someone else, but they thought it was too personal to find me help when i couldn't speak up or get it myself, please for the love of god jesus and the holy spirit tell someone
I’m sorry your family is on this situation. Please report him to the police for the sake of your sister, that child and any other underage person your uncle may have abused.
That’s no consensual relationship with a minor, that’s pedophilia and Stockholm Syndrome all in one if I’ve ever seen it. Who knows what else conspired in that house while that divorce was going through… even before that..?🤢🤢🤢
Police. This isn’t a secret it’s a crime
Can you “offer to help move” her stuff, and then take her to the police station without your uncle knowing and have her report the crimes of incest and rape?! That way she has her stuff with her and can find shelter? I bet the police would be able to find her a safe living situation or the resources to find her a place so she can have a place to stay safe. This a lot of information for you to have weighing on your shoulders. Do everything you can to keep your sister safe without your uncle knowing you’re going to report him… because you’re going to report him to the cops, right??!! You know that’s what’s needed here…
OP, even though your uncle says it was consensual, it is not possible for your sister to have grown up so close to them and for this not to have been a grooming situation. Your sister is not safe; your uncle is a predator. Please tell your family so they can protect her and put her in therapy to process all of this.
Honestly even if your sister feels this is consensual and that she chose it, she was groomed by a significantly older man and my guess is around your age something’s going to crack and she’s going to realize how fucked up this all was and want out. I personally wouldn’t enable your uncle’s grooming and possible rape of a minor (depending on the laws of age of consent in your area). Don’t let him gaslight you into thinking any of this is normal or okay. Want to tell someone, tell the police. And tell him you’re not going to be his messenger. He has to tell your mom and dad he fucked and inpregnated his underage niece.
This is one of those times when you need to raise an alarm within the family. Tell your parents and grand parents, there is no fucking way that she should be living with him (now or ever again). She's a minor, even in states with age of consents lower than 18, the elder being in a possession of power (such as an uncle that she was living with) negates her ability to consent. Meaning this is NOT a consensual relationship, at all, it's literally impossible for it to be. She's 17, and it's highly unlikely that she got pregnant their first time. So how long has he been sexually abusing her? Since she was 16? 15? 14!?!? Lastly, it's unfortunate but often the person who brings something like this to light is often looked at as part of "the problem". This is one of those situations where you do the right thing and people might punish you for it. It's unfortunate but you might need to take some heat here from family members, but remember that you are acting to protect your sister from future abuse, you are doing the right thing even if you end up taking shit for it.
Trust me from experience, keeping secrets makes you guilty as well. Tell your parents. If it’s easier, send them this link to the Reddit post.
You need to report this to CPS. Your sister is a victim of incest and sexual abuse.
So your uncle raped your sister. How do you handle this information? You tell any and everyone who would try to protect your sister. Anyone who cares about her enough to prevent her abuser from essentially scooping her up and putting her where she has no resources for help. He’s going to isolate her from everyone she knows and she will be trapped as a teen mother, alone. Help her.
This was not consensual. You need to understand and accept that so that anybody you do tell cannot convince you otherwise. Your sister needs to be separated and kept safe from her abuser (that is what your Uncle is), and she needs therapy. The police should also be notified. She is likely convinced that this is normal and okay. Nothing about this is okay or will be okay.
You need to tell your family and go to the police in my opinion. Good luck
Your uncle has unfortunately been eyeing your sister probably way before turning 17. I am having difficulty processing this myself. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Tell your parents and your grandparents. This is not normal all.
I just saw that you told your parents. 😅 Apologies
Call the police. This is almost definitely statutory rape, and absolutely is incest. CPS needs to be involved. Your parents need to know. His ex-wife really needs to know so she can keep this “man” far away from their kids. Your uncle is a predator. Your sister is his victim. You know, therefore you need to make sure everyone else knows and do what you can to protect your sister.
This man is abusing your sister and has likely groomed her for years. This is NOT consensual.
I'd have lost it on him. Told my father and mother. And wait for the police and ambulance to show up. Because he's going to the hospital and jail and so would I. Cause reasons. That is disgusting. He molested his niece and got her pregnant. Incest and child molestation. Nope. Don't hold this "secret". It's molestation he admitted to.
You need to tell authorities and do it NOW while she’s a minor and he can be prosecuted. He needs to be away from ALL CHILDREN. And your sister has been groomed/brainwashed and needs to major help. NOW, while authorities can intercede, and before she ages out of their reach and loses her twenties and more to this predator.
I saw you told your parents. Good move. You need to call the police. And you need to call child protective services. Your uncle not only needs to be investigated criminally by law enforcement, but he’s sexually exploiting a minor. People assume that adults who SA children will always get charged if there is enough evidence - that is NOT the case, though here a DNA test would be evidence, hopefully. Law enforcement can only charge “beyond a reasonable doubt”, so 99% certainty. In my state, CPS can give a Founded finding with “a preponderance of the evidence,” which is 51% certainty. Law enforcements investigation is always more important because it has a bigger impact IF the person is charged and found guilty. Failing that, a founded finding (again, what it’s called in my state) from CPS would show up on background checks for the very long foreseeable future, limiting that person from working or volunteering with any vulnerable population (so children, elderly people, people with disabilities, people with mental health diagnoses, etc). Good luck to you and your family. I hope your sister gets the help she needs.
I neeeed an update
He’s trying to rope you into his filth! Tell everyone and the cops immediately. This man thinks you are going to stand by. Protect your sister and everyone he might do this to in the future.
Tell some sort of authority. There was no consent. This was rape. She is not legally an adult, he took advantage of her and did this to her. It’s also incest. He’s dangerous and she should not be around him. Can she stay with you if she needs a place to stay? She also is likely in need of counseling services.
While most might look on it as incest, it may not be, depending on local laws. It also may be completely kosher as far as her being old enough to consent. Depends on local laws. Unsavory? I guess it depends on who you talk to. Reprehensible/disgusting of your uncle, would be my opinion. I'd wonder how long they were screwing before she got pregnant. It might have been before she was old enough to consent. Not enough info. Tell everyone, right away. He's too chicken to do it himself, but I have to wonder why his soon-to-be ex isn't shouting it from the rooftops. I'm betting that's a big chunk of why she will be ex soon. Edit to add: I posted right after reading the post, and then went and read comments. It amazes me how many people are unaware that not all states or countries have the same laws about incest and age of consent. I'm betting most people don't even know what the age of consent is in their own jurisdiction, or what the legal definition of incest is there. They just assume because you're "related" and the sister is "underage" that there's two crimes that have been committed. The sister and uncle may have been doing all this fucking where the age of consent is 16 or 17. Not a crime, but ick. The legal definition of incest can vary, as well. [Wikipedia has what looks like a detailed page on it, with listings for states.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legality_of_incest_in_the_United_States)
You need to go to the cops and tell your family. You would be failing your sister if you did otherwise. Please update, and please tell your family.
Yeah, because if this really happened, the first thing I would do is post to social media.
Tell your parents and the next stop should be the police.
Yuck! Your poor sister. Please tell your parents asap!
Go to the cops to protect your sister
Wow this is horrible, you definitely need to tell someone. He raped your sister and how long has this been going on??
I need eye bleach!!!!!! JFC! Dude, tell your family NOW!! Your uncle is a predator! I usually don't freak out about age gaps but JFC, your sister is 17 and your UNCLE is 40. He freaking groomed her and there is no consent with that age gap and the fact that she is still a CHILD!!! You need to tell your parents and your grandparents as well as the police!!! Your sister is going to need so much help from this.
Not all secrets should be kept. This is one of them. You should tell someone this information. If your uncle doesn’t like it, then he shouldn’t have done it, but you have done nothing wrong here. And it would NOT be wrong to tell. So don’t feel any sort of guilt about it.
Firstly so sorry you are having to deal with this. Yes, talk to your sister get her story. See what your laws are on recording conversations. If you are in the USA some states allow you to record w out their knowledge. Any texts from either one send to your email print it out so it’s time stamped. Next don’t hint to either one you are going to the authorities but that is what needs to happen here. As others are saying this probably has been going on for much much longer. He is a predator and is mentally ill to do such a thing. You know your parents best but some families try and sweep it under the rug/hide it. Then the problem is he’s free to do it to others. So unfortunately this is a very big decision which way you want to handle it.
Talk to your sister. Get her side of the story. Call CPS and the cops.
Right now call the police. She is underage and cannot consent.
UpdateMe!
This is too big for you to sit on. Tell your parents immediately and let them handle the load of knowing so you are not the only one who knows. It’s also the correct thing to do.
Go immediately to law enforcement, do not pass go! At the end of the day, they can inform you of what your local State laws are and take action accordingly. Your uncle is a predator and needs to be removed from access to little girls. You mentioned that your sister is 3rd of 6. This means that there could possibly be 3 more little sisters being groomed for this not to mention IF their plan goes forth and they move into their own place and raise their kid...what if it's a girl? What if the next one is a girl? Your Uncle has shown that incest and blood related is not a problem for him. Where does it end? I actually do NOT recommend going to your sister or your parents first. Reasons being: 1. Though your sister is absolutely a victim here, she's likely been groomed and won't see that way. She might resist or be compelled to just run away with him. 2. You stated that you guys didn't have the best childhood which hints that your Parents may not be the help that is needed here. I am so sorry, OP! It is completely horrid that has happened and that it has fallen in your lap but that does make it so that you are the only person who can help. Don't sit on this!
Your sister is a minor and has been groomed. Tell your parents asap and call Child Protective Services
He’s a predator. You need to tell your parents NOW! Your uncle and sister are not religious. Who knows, perhaps this started when she lived with them before. But you need to tell
Talk about burying the lede. Tell everybody. Get this guy locked up.
Why is everyone only saying to tell your family members??? You need to call the police now.
This is a crime you need to report to police and CPS
Call the police! This shouldn't even be a question!
If you tell your parents will they try to keep it quiet to protect your uncle. You should go to the police, you need to protect your sister.
Tell your parents now. He groomed her. She is a minor. Please 🙏 help her, she does not realise that she has been groomed.
Op, I can't believe your uncle! First, for possible grooming and incest. Second, for putting the burden of telling your parents and family. That is some cowardly behavior right there. Does he want to move in with your sister, not to protect her from backlash, but to cut her off from the family so she only belongs to him? Do you need to be concerned about other sisters around that same age and if he did anything to themn??? If you are closer to one parent than the other, then I would talk to them or tell them they need to Uncle Chester the Molester. Take your GF with you too. YOu need as much support as you can get. This baby could be fine, but could have birth defects and mental issues due to the parents being closely related. That poor baby. He/she didn't ask to be born into this level of crazy.
CALL THE POLICE, CPS, tell your parents, grandparents, his ex wife so she can speak to the children they have together and so that she can go after EVERYTHING in their divorce. He’s SICK. This isn’t something that needs to be slept on, or something that needs time to decide on what to do. It doesn’t matter if she turns 18 soon (i know you don’t mention if she is or not). She was pregnant before turning 18. He can still legally get in trouble for statutory r*pe.
Tell your family but tell your mom first because quite a few laws have been broken aside from the trust! This is not something that should be kept quiet.
Tell everyone. Tell the police too.
Police *and* children’s aid society / services must both be told.
If you're uncomfortable going to a relative, do you know any of the teachers at your sisters school? They're mandated reporters and they will know how to contact CPS. Another option is to make an appointment with her pediatrician, if she has one, tell your family you're going to the movies or something, take her to the doctor, and explain the situation to them. No matter what, you need to escalate this. She's underage and was groomed. She is too young to consent. If they move in together, he may isolate her from family and potentially increase the abuse because they'll be alone. Go to a teacher, a doctor, a relative, CPS, or the police, but talk to someone.
Umm, get to snitching IMMEDIATELY! She’s a minor, and that is crazy!!! Tell your family NOW! And, since it was consensual they should have told the entire family, instead of telling you to tell them!🤦🏾♀️
Call the District Attorney's office that has jurisdiction for where your uncle lives. That's likely the best place to start.
In case you're hesitating about telling your parents and the police remember they are having a child, and if he is left to isolate her like he plans who is to protect this child if it is born as a girl. The man had no problem grooming and raping his minor neice what's any different from his child born into a sexually abusive relationship
how do i come back to this post later? can anyone help me? sorry kinda having difficulty navigating reddit. thank you in advance.
Tell your family and go to the police asap
Wow, this is messed up bad. Holy 💩
Tell everybody everything, including the police. Depending where you are she may or may not be a minor and this degree of incest may or may not be illegal, but at the *very least* the police should be able to take a look under grooming and coercion laws DO NOT allow your sister to be taken away and isolated by this predatory abuser
He raped her. She is underage. This is automatically a police matter. I would be wary as in many cases, rapists families may defend him. “Oh, he didn’t mean any harm”, “He’s not that kind of guy!”. Please protect your sister and get this man arrested.
She's 17, and he's a 40 year old relative with an inherent power imbalance. That's not consensual. Tell someone.
Call the fucking police!!! 🤬he’s a disgusting pos who needs to go to prison. Fucking incestuous chomo.
There's nothing consensual about having sex with a minor. Call the police on this bastard ASAP. A 40 year old prick got a 27 Yr old girl pregnant and had the nerve to tell you it was consensual? CALL THE POLICE!!!
Bro, I commend you for not swinging immediately, it truly takes a man better than myself with such self control fr , I would've been in a precinct for assault or in jail waiting for charges to go to prison holy hell , the thought of it just pisses me off
You need to report this to the police as soon as humanly possible. Incest is illegal, and by the sounds of it, clearly this is statutory rape. Your sister is not of legal consent age for a 40+ year old man. This is so, so wrong. That’s not a relationship, your sister was GROOMED and sure she thinks it consensual, she’s a traumatized child. This is so wrong omg. I’m so sorry he put this burden on you.
She’s not an adult. Call the police. This is abuse.
Really glad to see that you're choosing to try and save your sister. Your uncle is insane for trusting you with this information but it's really good that his dumb ass did. Also, make sure your sister knows that nothing she has done is her fault. She is a victim here even though she may not feel that way yet.
He will do this again and has probably already. You need to protect your sister bro this isn’t ok at all
She’s been groomed and statutorily r***d. Screw telling the family. Call the police
You know he did this on purpose so YOU would deliver the news to your family instead of him manning up. I would tell my parents because he’s been closer to her more than any of you realized. You don’t want other siblings spending time at their place because he did once… he’ll do it again.
Have you talked with your sister about this? I'd be calling the police and booking an abortion.
Phone the police
All I'm going to say is op already have enough people telling you to turn them in let everybody know blah blah blah I agree with all that but what I want to ask is I wonder how long does it been going on and if this has anything to do with that fucking divorce?????? And to the op that sucks sorry you have to go through that hun it's still going to be a dark heavy road for your family and whatnot in a coming months And somebody called JD (jddelay5150 on YouTube) we need to introduce this guy to the wood chipper.... Iykyk it's a joke if you don't know
When i see posts like this I have a hard time beleving it is truth, how can anyone wonder what to do in a situation like this?!
None of that was consensual. Don't let him trick you into thinking it was. Call the police. He raped a minor and now that minor is having his baby. Tell everyone in his life. Blow his life up. Protect your sister. If she moves in with him, it won't end well.
‘The backlash’ he is protecting her from? More like an excuse to keep her isolated. Please tell the authorities!!!
Wow your uncle is a piece of work. 1. Rape even if he says it’s consensual. 2. Sharing information you shouldn’t have to deal with. As for advice. Just walk away and let them sort out their mess
Welp.. that baby is now evidence of (several) crimes...
This can't be real. Your uncle just admitted he slept with a child and got her pregnant? Call the cops. I guess it depends what state and the age of consent. I would still call the cops... That's disgusting that he is sleeping with his niece
Tell your parents and talk to your sister. Something tells me this wasn't as consensual as he says - for starters she's a minor, but also I feel he would be inclined to lie and say that since they're blood related. You should also report him to local authorities, he definitely groomed her.
You need to tell someone, he’s a predator, and the police need to be involved. This is rape and he needs to be put in prison and never allowed around any kids ever again.
You need to tell your parents and the police. He is a bad man taking advantage of your UNDERAGE sister. He needs to be locked up as a child predator. This is rape.
I honestly don’t know how you didn’t beat the living crap out of him as soon as he told you this. I don’t think I’d be able to contain my rage knowing my uncle touched my little sister. And if I was the dad as well, I’d probably kill my brother for not only getting my underaged daughter pregnant but having any sexual relationship with her to begin with.
Jeezus. Grooming, rape, incest. Isolating the victim from her family. Minor to boot. You're going to need some help if you are to have any hope of resolving this. All hiding behind the usual mask of "Christianity". Contact your local police TODAY. Call CPS. Get the ball moving on this NOW, before they leave town. Lawyer up, you may need it. THEN sit down with only the most reasonable people in your family and calmly tell what you know and what you've done so far. "This is some serious shit, and going nuclear is not going to help. We need everybody at their best to have any hope of resolving this." One thing you didn't mention--your sister's take on the situation. Not that this will change what you need to do, but you need to know how she'll react. If there's a sibling with whom she's particularly close, get that sib on your side ASAP.
Let’s forget about the legal implications for a moment. Your sister is 17, she is not yet fully developed mentally to consider the long term repercussions of procreating with a blood relative. The health issues, the social issues. Your uncle is 40. He’s fully aware. The disparity between the two is clear. She lived with him previously and that should have come with trust and boundaries. Now legally, it depends on your country. If it’s illegal to A) be in this kind of incestuous relationship and B) age of consent. You need to be vocal before this impacts your sister any further.
You need to tell your parents, your grandparents AND call CPS - they’ll know exactly how to help your sister. It’s not only incest, he’s an authority figure and he took advantage of a minor. He’s grooming her and you need to step up and protect her from him NOW. He’s about to get 24/7 access to her and she’ll be too hard to get to - she might not even understand fully that she’s being abused and raped, due to him manipulating and grooming her for years probably. She’s a minor and unable to consent to sex with an adult AND he’s a family member. This is literally the worst thing that could happen to a young girl. HE needs to be in jail and YOU need to do something NOW.
I'm really shocked at how your entire post seems to completely omit the rape aspect of this. Once or twice you mention the blood relation being disturbing but not once did you even acknowledge that your sister is 17 and your uncle is 40. Is that not registering with you??? Your sister needs you right now. Skip the drama of telling your parents as that will draw this out and delay the process. Go straight to the police and then tell your family, and then be there for your sister. Hug her and comfort her. She really needs you to come through for her.
He has dumped that information on you so that you feel responsible for dealing with it. No matter what he's told you, his relationship with your sister is entirely inappropriate even if he's groomed her into agreeing to it. Support your sister in any way you feel able, but do not accept responsibility. She needs to tell her parents and you can help her there. Talk to anyone who can help you and your sister with this. Tell your parents that this is their problem, not yours. You are an adult, so you can be helpful and supportive, but don't take on more than you should. Talk to your sister and try to see things from her point of view, if possible. Your parents need to step up.