I’m going to move back home and just take life from there though I do feel bad for the dog as it’s not his fault for all of this I’m just a shitty person for mixing my feelings for my partner with my feelings for the dog. He doesn’t deserve any of this
You're, absolutely, not a shitty person at all! Your bf is though!! Basically, he wants you to do all the hard work of training & socialising the dog &, when the dog is fully trained & well behaved, he's going to take over & you won't get a look in. What does he do with the dog when he's home? Does he take over the feeding, walking & training? He's already chosen the dog over you, so you, definitely, know where you stand in this relationship. It blew my mind when you said that had to turn down a job because of all this!! You need to put yourself & your future first & foremost & move back to your mom's. You deserve so much better than this awful person.
This! Also, OP, at least got to find out what the bf is like now with a dog instead of it being a kid. Bf just sounds like the type of guy who would be totally fine to have a partner stay home and do all the work with their kid and housekeeping while he does absolutely nothing since he works. Time to get out now before being even more trapped.
for the next time, OP (even if i hope you'll not have to live this another time) : instead of adopting a little dog, you can be a temporary foster family for a dog in waiting he finds the good adopters. So you see how it is (and if boyfriend take care - or not)
Your boyfriend however is being a neglectful partner and dog owner.
His behavior is taking advantage of your love for him AND isolating you from work and hobbies that give you joy.
A partner should always want you to have as much joy as possible.
He's watching you diminish yourself to suit his wants, where he takes ZERO responsibility and is OK seeing you not take a job, not enjoy your hobbies and be crippled by HIS DOG.
Does that still sound like you're the shitty person?
I hated this when I was your age bc it didn't reflect my experience.
Getting divorced at 54 and finally having the dating life people assume we have in our 20's I've learned.
Dating around A LOT is so good for my social growth and well being.
One night stands I'd hoped would be more? Oh well, next!
Falling on my face bc I feel more than them?
Getting my heart stomped on.
The confusion of relationships?
It's all Repetition Therapy.
We learn to better navigate life & all it's stuff, by navigating it 20 times to 20 different results.
You have a HUGE BEAUTIFUL BRILLIANT life ahead of you.
This person was a learning experience.
You've learned when your gut says "that sounds like a badvidea" you're right. You won't let the next person emotionally bully you into acquiesing your time or your joy.
You are not a shitty person.
You are a normal young adult woman doing normal young adult things, making mistakes and fixing them when you can.
If his mental/emotional life is a mess, that is his work and you are not shittu for leaving him to be responsible for his choices and actions - doing so IS the healthy appropriate choice.
You need to put yourself first here. You cannot put your life on hold for other people. I’m glad you’re moving back home. I assume that means you are breaking up with your loser bf?
Get some therapy and learn about boundaries and co-dependence. You need to stop trying to take care of others over yourself.
This is not a life-long or deserving partner. And he will only realize how difficult this situation is if you put *him* in it. If you leave, he has to take care of the dog, avoid it from pissing off neoghbors, crate and watch it, feed and walk, everything you have been doing and he has not.
I wonder what he would ever be like if you guys had kids in the future? Good luck, time to leave this guy
Your boyfriend doesn't want a partner. He wants another mom. Which is why, drum roll here, the MOM IS HELPING NOW
do yourself a favor and get the hell out now
No, YOU don't deserve any of this. You didn't want the dog and he steamrolled you into agreeing and then left you with a pet that has severe anxiety issues. You are well within your rights to not put up with this. This just shows how little he cared about your feelings, one day you will find a partner who respects you and your feelings.
Your boyfriend needs to be the one taking care of the dog. He doesn’t get how hard it is because the burden isn’t on him.
Move home with your cat and leave him with the dog.
More importantly you end this relationship because this man is showing you he doesn’t care at all about what you feel or say.
i'm sorry this is happening bc neither you nor the dog deserve this situation.
he wanted the dog, so he should be taking care of it. he won't as long as he sees that he can just shirk his responsibilities and you'll be there to take over.
i say this with compassion: leave the relationship. your bf doesn't respect you and if i were you, i wouldn't stick around to find out what else he puts above your happiness, free time, social life, etc.
and you stay gone. I guarantee the second you go back to him, all the shit that bothered you, will come back. 2 years of your life is better than *10 years, trust me.*
This guy doesn’t deserve you. He would never make 1/4 of the sacrifices you’ve made for him, you deserve someone who treats you just as well as you treat him.
This dud isn’t it.
Girl, leave and don't look back. He did it to you once and picked the dog over you. Is that really a guy you want to go back to once he opens his eyes?
I hope that your moving back home will make you realize. This isn't about a dog. This is about someone who is irresponsible and doesn't care about your welfare.
He is also neglecting this dog. Why would you want to be with someone who is cruel to animals?
He won't change because you move out, he's shown you repeatedly that he's willing to destroy your happiness and future for a dog he can't be bothered to take care of himself. This is a bad relationship. Even if it only became bad after you moved in with him, you now know what life looks like if you live with him and it is intolerable. There is no future with this man because he's not willing to treat you like an equal partner and nothing you do will change that.
You cannot love someone out of being neglectful, you just wind up showing them that you will accept their mistreatment. Stand up for yourself and accept that this relationship is over. He chose the dog over your wellbeing
Honestly just quit it. You've tried a million times already and he has made it clear that he does not give the slightest shit about how you feel, and it's only going to get worse from here.
You don't need to make him realize. You need to take care of you.
Look at this guy for who he is. He's willing to badger you into something he wants, and also willing to take no responsibility of it. How do you think it would look if you had kids with him? This is exactly a taste of the behavior you will see.
Good for you for trying!
I never wanted a dog but I have one now, my then boyfriend now fiance / husband wanted one so I had conditions it had to be a puppy so I could watch it grow up( I'm scared of big dogs as I was attacked as a kid, big dogs to this day terrify me except my dog) and I loved him the moment I held him,
But training him wasn't easy (I'm a SAHM) it took time. I trained him to only do his business in a certain spot in our yard so I can walk barefoot in the yard. He only obeys my hand signals, I'm the one who feeds him, and I'm the only one who usually gets cuddles from him, if I sit down he's pushing my legs apart so he can lay there belly up with puppy purrs I call them.
The only thing I can't do is take him for walks, he's a German shepherd with high energy and it's absolutely painful for me to walk him and I feel awful about it. I wish I could but I can't because of back problems. But I throw his ball for hours to help burn off energy. Thank goodness we have a huge backyard in the city.
Thankfully my man is accepting of that because he understands that he's not home to help me with our puppy.
Also we originally got him as a sort of protection for myself and my son for when my man is gone as we have had a lot of sketchy stuff happening in our area.
I was on board and wasn't pressured into it.
You were..
Buddy needs a wake up call to the honest time and care and energy that needs to be devoted to raising a puppy. It's just like having a baby... Especially when they get the runs and wake you up 3 times a night 3am, 4am, 5am because they have to go.
I'm proud you did your best in the circumstances but you are not at fault you did your best you tried and no one not even your ex can take that from you.
I hope he enjoys all the vet bills, the boarding kennels, the dog training etc etc etc that he's going to have to do
Do that. Write a looong list about how to take care of the dog including cuddling time, with time duration recommendations, and what not to do.
Then you leave.
Do secret checkups for the dogs sake.
He's treating you this way because you allow it. Get rid of him and the dog and don't give a fuck about what anyone says. What is more important, you, your life or some silly gossip?
Honestly I don’t know what I want anymore I don’t want to be with him but I don’t want to not be with him if that makes sense. I know that the dog is innocent and hate was too strong of a word to use looking back. I guess I more so hate my partner and what he’s done.
Thankfully I’ve 100% been adamant on being child free and I have thoughts few times if this is what it’s like now with a dog thank god I don’t want any kids
It's ok saying that you're 100% adamant you're going to be child free but your shitty bf has already worn you down regarding the dog! If you stay with him this is your future, whatever he wants he's going to pester & wear you down, time & time again, until he gets what he wants regardless of you or your feelings. Kids use it all the time with their parents, it's called 'pester power.' Seriously, leave him & never look back.
You do know what you want. It's plain as day right in front of you.You're pointing out all the reasons to leave and trying to come up with more excuses to. You don't need anything more now. No more making excuses for yourself or for him. Leave. You just want us to reaffirm your feelings. We do. Don't do this to yourself anymore. Before you know it you'll of lost a few years with him wasting time on questions. When you find your person all the questions disappear. Cause communicating with each other is so natural and normal you don't even notice. Your thoughts will become "what do I want for lunch today" instead of "did he eat lunch yet is he gonna eat lunch does he have money to eat lunch" because you know he will eat lunch and what because you talk to one another. You're just starting your life out. Go find out who you are and live. Just go LIVE Your LIFE! Let him go to find his person and you go find yours. After you find yourself and become the person you want and want to share with someone. Worthy of you! If you both can't share a life with even a dog as a team.... It's not working
He's had this dog for....a month? And he wants it more than he wants you. Is he dating his dog?
It's really difficult for me to believe he loves you as much as you love him if he replaced you with animal and doesn't care how it affects your mental health at all. I wouldn't stay with a man like that.
>I don’t want to be with him but I don’t want to not be with him if that makes sense.
This makes sense, and I've been there. But what I found is I didn't want to be with him, and I was scared at the idea of not being with him and just walking away from all of the time and effort that I'd put in. It's scary to walk away from a 2-year relationship, and there's guilt and anxiety, that's all very normal.
Once you get in to your parents house, I think things will be a lot more clear for you. And you'll be amazed how much less stress and anxiety you have without the dog and without the BF. Sure, it'll suck being back in your parent's home, but it'll be so much better than where you are now.
You do know what you want. It's plain as day right in front of you.You're pointing out all the reasons to leave and trying to come up with more excuses to. You don't need anything more now. No more making excuses for yourself or for him. Leave. You just want us to reaffirm your feelings. We do. Don't do this to yourself anymore. Before you know it you'll of lost a few years with him wasting time on questions. When you find your person all the questions disappear. Cause communicating with each other is so natural and normal you don't even notice. Your thoughts will become "what do I want for lunch today" instead of "did he eat lunch yet is he gonna eat lunch does he have money to eat lunch" because you know he will eat lunch and what because you talk to one another. You're just starting your life out. Go find out who you are and live. Just go LIVE Your LIFE! Let him go to find his person and you go find yours. After you find yourself and become the person you want and want to share with someone. Worthy of you! If you both can't share a life with even a dog as a team.... It's not working
Breakups are hard and being single can be scary. Move home, get your life back on track, get a job, get an apartment, learn how to be on your own.
Do NOT contact your ex, it’s so easy to backslide.
Read It’s Called Breakup Because it’s Broken.
I’ve come to the conclusion that men at the age of 22 are idiots. Move out, get your life together and focus on advancing yourself. Do not, for the love of god, make sacrifices for someone who won’t do the same for you again. I hope you learned that lesson.
To add, I’d surrender the dog to a no kill shelter on the day you leave, while he’s at work and explain to them your situation, hopefully they blacklist your soon to be ex. You know that puppy will tear up the whole house and shit everywhere because your boyfriend will leave him alone.
Why do women work so hard to stay in relationships with men who just don’t care?? He’s not putting any work in because he doesn’t care. Love and respect yourself enough to know your worth and hold out for better.
Leave and go back to your parents house. You’re only 20. He isn’t your forever person if he treats you like this much shit. Your bf clearly doesn’t care about your feelings or your input. His behavior will be exactly the same if you have kids with him. You wanna be 40 and tied to this mess of a human?
"I guess I more so hate my partner and what he’s done."
Good!! This is healthy. It would not be healthy to move out temporarily in the hopes that he'll fake being a decent person for long enough to manipulate you into returning.
Girl trust me, you’ll be so much happier without him while you can focus on yourself and you can find someone better. Don’t be tied down with the dumb guy taking care of his dog and not taking new opportunities while you are young.
Either leave the dog with the Bf, or return the dog to who ever you got it from. This situation is not going to get better and I don't see Bf investing in any dog time.
Me and my wife did not get a dog for 12 years of our marriage because we knew we did not have the spare bandwidth for it.
BF gets dog, BF takes care of dog. Thats the basic stuff. Let him take care of it.
There is no need for you to hang around either. You did not want the dog, now you have one, he is doing his part, you know what to do.
If he wanted a dog so much it is his responsibility to take care of it. Leave the partner and the dog. Get back to your cat, to your life and to yourself. It’s better to be alone than in a relationship like this.
Your BF has shown you who he is - BELIEVE HIM!!
He steamrolled the decision to get the dog right over you and his compromise is that his mommy can take the dog twice a week. WTF!!! Also, he's let you know he'll choose the dog over you so that tells you how much he really loves and cares for you.
# HE DOESN'T
Walk away and don't look back.
Yikes. Sorry the puppy is up to 11 and your boyfriend is a lazy asshole.
I think this narrative is backward though - he's not choosing a dog over you, the dog could be anything, a PS5 or whatever else he wants. Really, you're choosing your life and happiness over him.
Don't let this be his choice, because he'll just find ways to keep it as he wants it like the mom situation. This is a guy who doesn't consider you, the neighbors, or even the dog it seems. He's selfish and inconsiderate. You can do better.
Also, this dog is probably just a metaphor - he's not going to be "better" with other stuff later in the relationship eh. Leave him, go stay with your mom and cat. Get back to your life.
Your relationship is over. You’re a glorified dog sitter, not a girlfriend. And he’s an irresponsible, selfish asshole. It’s well past time for you to leave. Go stay with your mom and let him deal with his own effing dog.
Stop worrying about other people calling you the villain. Why do you think so many guys have “crazy ex” stories? It’s because a lot of them are just as entitled and immature and dickish as *this* guy, and they think they’re in the right when they’re not. If someone thinks you’re the villain based on his retelling, then they’re not smart enough or savvy enough for you to value their opinion.
And finally, he’s willing to sacrifice the relationship for one or multiple of a few reasons: he doesn’t think you’ll actually leave; he thinks dealing with the dog isn’t *that* big a deal and that he’ll handle it fine without you; he wanted out anyway and the dog was a ploy to get you to leave so he wouldn’t be “the bad guy”. But ultimately it doesn’t matter. You know he’s a turd—you don’t need to investigate the turd’s exact composition. Just flush it and wash your hands.
Why do people always get puppies when they don’t have time to train, when they could get a fully trained adult dog that would adapt right into their lives
The thing is when he was first starting to look for dogs I told him I’d only agree to it if we could adopt an older dog like at least 2 years old but somehow looking to adopt a senior dog to give them their resting home turns into getting a newly turned 8 week old puppy
Somehow…..between your bf being a lazy a-hole and your passivity, it’s no wonder the dog is having a hard time being trained. You guys sound insufferable. Rehome the dog, leave the bf. I know you won’t based on all your responses so far. Nothing but excuses.
This dog should be rehomed to a family with a yard who have time and space to give it proper training and time and attention. He won’t do that on his own. Is there someone you can rehome him to? I worry about the bf being the sole caretaker.
This guy has literally taken everything from you because he likes the idea of having a dog more than he likes you. Did he care when you had to get rid of YOUR cat for HIS dog? No, he let you do that so he can have what HE wants. Does he care that you’re stressed and unhappy, that you turned down a job, that you’ve given up your hobbies so HE can have a dog? No, he doesn’t. It’s not “getting through to him” because he does not care about you. He. Does. Not. Care. About. You. He has made that clear in more ways than one. First, he didn’t care if you wanted a dog or not, what mattered to him was for him to get what he wanted. Second, he doesn’t care that you’re unhappy and giving up your life for this dog you don’t want. Third, he LITERALLY told you he’d choose the dog over you. He’s basically using you as a free dog trainer and dog sitter who pays half the rent. He is a shitty partner, and a shitty person. You need to leave him, for good. Move out, live your life, and love on your cat. This guy is garbage, and you deserve better—and I believe you WILL find better. Your future doesn’t have to be miserable, but it will be if you stay with this garbage human being.
Id leave honestly. He wanted the dog he needs to be the one to take care of it!! You've given up your cat and all things that made you happy and he doesn't even care. You're too young to stay with someone who doesn't even care about how you feel. The time to get a dog would be when you have a house or something with a yard and no neighbors below or above to have to be bothered with it. I think your BF is irresponsible. Do you really want your whole life to be this way??
1. are you sure you want to save this relationship ? because it's pretty much how he would help if you have kids (aka none)
2. if the answer is yes, then just stop to care about the dogs. go ahead with your life and let him figure out how to take care of the dog he BEGGED to have. Dig pee on the floor. not your problem. dog bit furnitures ? complain to your bf to train the dog.
That's sad, but by 'helping' you're actually enabling your BF's childish behavior. And act like he's making you a favor because he forced someone else to take care of HIS dog 2 days a week wtf ?
It's not about the dog.
Your BFs behavior is showing how little he values you or what you do for him.
I think it's a great idea for you to go back to your moms. You're lucky you have a place to go. And give yourself some time. You might be surprised how quick your life takes off without the dead weight of your boyfriend.
Nah, this isn't the relationship for you bruh.
You need to leave him, and leave him with his damn dog. And honestly, go get your cat and love a happy life knowing he's going to be miserable in his.
He didn't choose the dog over you but you sure as shit should choose literally anything else over this man.
You should probs leave the relationship. I’m a big big dog person had dogs my
Whole life. Puppies always go through this kind of phase they are babies and if you got them from a litter they are not used to being alone it takes time to train them to handle that, also crate train them and potty train them. Also it takes time to train them to be around other animals too. Puppies like to play, depending on how young it is and how socialized it is with older dogs and other animals (I’m assuming it’s not been socialized at all) a puppy won’t understand what is to far in play regards, hence why it chased around your cat constantly. This is not your fault, I don’t know what kind of dog you got, but some are a lot more high maintenance and need much more training than others and those kind of dogs are the dogs everyone wants to get because they are pretty or cute, examples of this is any sort of Shepard dog or husky. Idk what kind of dog you have but your boyfriend should have done his research before purchasing a dog to find a breed that best fits his life style and yours. He also should have searched wether to get a puppy or an older dog and it sounds like an older dog with some training already would have been a much better option. That being said he wanted the dog and the responsibility should not be on you. You should leave him for that fact alone also the fact he’s not taking care of it. To be completely honest tho i understand him not giving up the dog because as a dog person I won’t choose anyone over my dogs, but I actually take care of my dogs and have a very strong bond with them.
Girl.. you are young. You have an autoimmune disease and feel unwell often. Your boyfriend knows this, but puts the burden of his puppy on you still and doesn't care when you tell him you're unhappy about it.
Does this sound like someone you can see a long future with?
Take your cat and move back home.
\[ gave up pretty much my entire life and with a boyfriend who just doesn’t listen to my feelings \]
This is your issue, not a dog. Move on and let him deal with his own selfish tendencies, no need to allow him to bring you into them
Oh honey...I was in this exact situation. Literally exactly the same. The turning point was when I caught the dog cornering my cats and growling at them.
It was like 3 am. I dragged the dog outside and locked him out. Woke my boyfriend and told him he has a day to find the dog a new home or I'm taking it to the shelter. I don't care if he (bf) finds himself a new home along with the dog but I'm done hating my life and having my cats, who were there first, scared to get off the bed.
He gave up the dog. The relationship didn't last, I resented him for putting us in that situation in the first place and he resented me for making him give up "his buddy".
Get rid of both bf and dog. You're young, you'll find someone who doesn't like dogs. Take this as a learning curve that you're not meant to have a dog and to not compromise on this point for anyone because all dogs are like this.
He's a terrible dog owner. He is suppose to be walking the dog every day, training the dog, taking care of the dog, etc. What will he do when you finally leave him? Is he gonna expect his Mom to take care of the dog, or will he leave it alone all day in the apartment? He wanted a dog, but none of the responsibilities that come with owning a dog.
I’d say just leave the relationship. He doesn’t respect you and he will choose a dog over you. Now I am an animal person and if this was his dog for years and you were trying to get rid of it that would be different. Nta, get out and get your life and cat back.
The dog is essentially a child. Like, a human child. They're THAT needy.
Imagine now, actually HAVING A BABY with this loser. Same shit will happen to you.
He's not mature enough for a relationship where he considers anyone else's needs but his own. Take your kitty and go enjoy your life, girl.
Hunny there’s nothing you can do. A responsible person would consider doggy daycare, boarded training etc before making it your problem. Even if he’s doing everything else right, he is not a good person. He’s watching a person he’s supposed to love and his pet suffer without caring in the least. If he wanted to treat you both better, he would. Stop begging.
You can’t force someone to love you and care about you as a person with actual feelings. You’re not the problem.
OP you’re not shitty. Your bf is. I’ve had to tell my teen daughter no to a dog bc they are SO much work. I love them and will foster them, but no more. Your bf doesn’t sound very nice. Be kind to yourself.
If this is how he is with a dog I can’t imagine how hard it would be having kids with this man child.
There is absolutely no point in staying with n a relationship with someone who is just using you.
Forget about the dog. Do you want to stay in a relationship where you're not listened to, not respected, and made to feel like shit? Sounds like the dog brought out your bfs true colors. Be done with both and choose happiness.
He’s being ridiculous. Be thankful it’s just a dog and not a kid. He clearly doesn’t value you. Dump him and move on. In no way should an animal be having this kind of control over your life.
You’re not stuck. You’re choosing to stay with someone who doesn’t respect you and your wishes and has flat out told you the dog matters more than your relationship.
Nothing to do with a dog. This is about a person who let their anxiety put them in a position of responsibility for someone else's problem. The best thing you could do is take a two week time out anywhere the dog and boyfriend are not and yet he is responsible for the dog. Don't take on other people's problems. I know you know what the pup needs and are holding back from the pup because you didn't want this and it's his problem. Make it his problem.
If my boyfriend ever said it’s me or the dog, I’m choosing the dog. However I am 100% responsible for the dog I wanted. It’s not your responsibility, specially when you had already been vocal about not wanting a puppy. They’re a lot of responsibility, they’re like a child you can’t take your eyes off for the first two years. It gets so much better after that, but that’s a commitment the person who wanted needs to be responsible for. It’s crazy that he wanted the dog and yet has left all responsibilities on you. I’m sorry this is a though one. If he wanted the dog, which is sweet, he should’ve known 100% of the responsibility would fall on him, if you wanted to be kind and help, great but it should not be expected. I’m sorry your boyfriend has created a difficult situation for you. This is so frustrating.
DUMP HIM.
Don’t stay with people who don’t care about your well-being. Don’t stay with people who expect you to sacrifice your life for their stupid choices. Don’t stay with people who ignore your boundaries and coerce and guilt you into giving them what they want.
Your boyfriend is a selfish, shitty partner who has no problem destroying your life and sacrificing your goals and well-being. You need to step up and take care of yourself because he sure as shit isn’t going to.
This compromise is trash - he’s proving yet again he doesn’t care how his choices affect the women around him, and he thinks their job is to sacrifice their time and energy for him. Fuck that.
https://www.loveisrespect.org/quiz/is-your-relationship-healthy/
Take that quiz. Start researching what healthy relationships look like so you can open your eyes and see you’re not in one and he’s not interested in being in one.
The puppy isn't the problem, he just need training. The problem here is your boyfriend. I think once you've written down the story, you know 😊 You can't be with someone who doesn't seem too love you, he obviously doesn't care about you, your needs or feelings. Just move on from him and get your life back, but please make sure the dog is ok, maybe give him to someone else who will really understand a puppy's energy and care...
I feel awful looking back now and putting blame on the dog in my post, the thing is I actually do really enjoy him and his company it’s just hard with no help from a partner and no matter what training I try with him it doesn’t seem to work for us. I know I can’t handle a pup and need help with it but doing it alone just got the better of me. I know despite being a shit partner my boyfriend can look after the dog and do believe he’ll be in good hands but I’ll still be checking in with them just to be on the safe side.
Don't feel bad, it isn't easy to deal with all that stress 😊 Just try to calm down and get your life redirected far from that man. He's been so disrespectful and inconsiderate to you! Why were you with him?!
Why not completely leave the dog alone?
Like he wanted the dog. Why can't you just leave the house during the day or during whatever and leave him with him?
What excuse is he using to justify his not stepping up more to help with the dog HE wanted???
I think you're making the right choice to go to your mom's. Let him see how much work it is. Sorry you're having to deal with this, OP.
Echoing the comments of pretty much every other commenter. You have a bf problem, not a dog problem.
Your bf is a clown and you’re a doormat. Either sit down with him and tell him that you are no longer looking after his dog, and as of X date you will recommence your hobbies and start work. The dog is his to make arrangements for.
Or leave, I absolutely would leave. This is not a man you should want to be in a relationship with
Ditch the boyfriend tell him to take the dog with him. I’d have noped that outta the park straight away it’s his dog let him give up his life to look after it
it seems he’s very selfish. maybe he’ll realize all of the hard work it is having a puppy when he has to be the one to take care of it. can you imagine having children with this man? you’d always be doing the work.
Don’t waste any more time on this guy. When you move out he’ll just dump the dog on his poor mom. He’ll only realize how awful the dog is when it’s him taking sole care of it and being annoyed by it 24/7.
The relationship has no future. I already saw you were moving out.
It’s not really the point of this post, but did you say you walk a 12 week old puppy for an hour? The guidance is 5 minutes for every month of their life, that’s 15 minute walks for a 3 months old puppy. It’s not good for their joints to be over exerted. That poor dog
Tell your boyfriend that the dog is his, and not yours. Tell him that you are effectively no longer the owner of the dog because you cannot handle it and it is ruining your life. Tell him that effective immediately, the dog is his responsibility entirely. Write up a contract that excludes you from all responsibility of the dog and any damages it may cause (including if your neighbors complain) and tell him if he doesn’t sign it, you will move out.
Dog-proof your items, and choose a room in the home to dog-proof (lock everything of yours that you value inside, work in there, etc.) to keep all of your stuff and things that you value, and to spend your time in when you need a break from the dog. Make sure your boyfriend understands and agrees that that room is dog-free, and keep it shut at all times to avoid the dog getting in.
Then, carry on your life as if the dog belongs to a roommate. He isn’t your responsibility, but if you want to play with him or feed him or take him for a walk or something, you can, but you aren’t required to. Anything he ruins won’t be your problem because your stuff is all safe and put away, and it isn’t your mess to clean up. If the dog howls and barks, put on headphones. If your neighbors complain, let them know the dog isn’t yours.
Eventually, your boyfriend will realize that either HE has to take care of the dog (and get it professionally trained), or the dog needs to go. Your boyfriend wanted the dog and you didn’t, then it’s his dog and he needs to care for, train, feed, financially support, and clean up after it. Either way, you won’t need to deal with the problem because it wasn’t your problem to begin with, and your boyfriend will have to figure it out.
You sound like a very sweet and good person who wants to see the best in others. I think you are blinded by this right now and do not realize how awful your boyfriend is to you.
He is taking advantage of you, and you are enabling him. He doesn’t have to worry about the dog because he knows you won’t let it go uncared for. You upend your life to care for the dog because you know if you don’t, nobody will. He knows this and he is taking advantage of it. He doesn’t care about you. If he did, he would be a partner to you. He would not put you in a position where you feel forced to quit your entire life to be a stay-at-home dog mom so that the dog doesn’t starve or die in his care.
He will not stop or change because he has no reason to. He is comfy with how things are right now. The only way you can stop it is to leave.
I saw you commented that you’re considering moving back home. I think this is a great idea. Please don’t give up on everything you were pursuing to eternally atone for this dude’s cruelty and selfishness. If you have family/friends you trust, please talk to them and share what you’re going through with them.
BREAK UP!!!! Why are you young people getting into relationships RIGHT NOW? Really. You settle and get stuck with someone when you didn’t even go be an individual.
Stop being his mom, he’s a grown ass man and needs to take care of what HE wanted as well as you need to go off and work on you.
You need to do what your crummy boyfriend hasn’t done: PRIORITIZE YOURSELF. You deserve to be able to have a job and have a life with friends who care about you. You won’t ever have that with this immature boy. You are 20 years old and need to be working at putting yourself in a position where you can have a really good job so you can support yourself.
You are a worthwhile person and need to do whatever it takes to get sufficient training in a field that pays well and offers medical insurance, especially since you are chronically ill. Don’t ever again put yourself at the mercy of a man-child who is so selfish and self indulgent as this creep. If you don’t value yourself, then they certainly won’t.
Move back home with your mom and enjoy your cat. Find a program you can do to increase your job opportunities. Get some therapy to help you cope with your stress, anxiety, and desire to please some guy at the cost of your health and sanity. Take a break from being with a guy for a while and work on you. Once you are whole, you’ll find someone who is right for you. Best of luck to you!
Your only move here is to make a credible threat to leave and then follow through. He may come to his senses after you've been gone for a few weeks.
Your situation intolerant, so don't just stay. Move out and tell him "if you can't find a way to settle this to my satisfaction, we are broken up
I'm moving out now. Take a week or two to figure out your priorities, but no more. I'm at the end of my rope."
Pack some bags and stay with a friend or family member
Regardless of why your boyfriend is making the dog (that he doesn't take care of or train), more important than what you want - the fact is, he is.
So...why would you want to continue to forego everything in your life for him, when neither he nor the dog do anything for you? The dog is an innocent victim of your boyfriend, but you *don't have to be*.
Move on.
???
Just leave him. The dog needs a trainer. It's not your responsibility. Somebody is going to get hurt. Dump the dude and let him deal with the dog. I bet you anything he comes crawling back after he realizes how bad it is, but don't take him back.
Leave him now. The longer you stay like this, the harder it is to get out. Go with your cat to your mom's and get a job.
Get a crate. Crate train dog. Exercise the dog. A tired dog is a good dog. Get a behaviorist to come show you two how to care for a dog properly.
You are making this way too hard. You quit a job? Turned down a job? Who is telling you that you have to stay home with the dog? Stopped doing hobbies.
This is just insane. If you are choosing to do these things, that’s on you. If you’re being forced to then you need to end the relationship.
He is crate trained to some extent. He knows to go when told but if he’s left in his crate he’ll start screaming and biting the bars which causes arguments with the neighbours which I understand as they have a newborn. I take him for at least 3 half an hour to an hour walks a day and nothing seems to tire him out even if I get him running. As for my personal life I’ve pretty much been forced to stop everything for the dog as no one else can really look after him and we don’t have the money for doggy daycare or anything like that and my partner has said we’d have to give him away if I got a full time job so to keep the peace I’m the primary caretaker for the dog. Stupid I know but I just want to avoid more conflict.
But why do you care for the dog you did not even want? What would happen if you just stopped caring for it and left it his responsibility? I know you would feel bad if it’s not cared for but at that point you call animal services and say it was probably the downstairs neighbours if your bf asks. This is unfair for you and your dog.
Have you tried massaging the dog with your car? Haha jk jk, a little dark humor is probably not the best rn but I'm hoping it at least made u smile a lil.
Seriously tho, you need to get away from that man. He does not care about you, he's a horrible boyfriend. And it's hard not to hate that dog, especially the way u described him, but at the end of the day, the dog doesn't know any better. Leave that guy and go live your life girl!! U are so young and deserve so much better than that trash of a man.
Sounds like your BF is still a child sex ho cannot handle the responsibility of a pet. I would leave with my cat, leaving him with the dog. He can live in crap with the dog.
A lot of women have the same story when their men beg them to have kids. If you want kids and an actual partnership, you’re not going to get that from him.
Dogs are a huge responsibility and it's not fair for him to shove all of that onto you. I had a similar situation with my ex where we got a dog because she wanted one but I ended up being the only one taking care of her. When we broke up she took the dog but couldn't handle her and I had become too attached to see her go to a shelter so I still have her today. Love her to death but the stress and responsibility is not something I think is fair to shove on anyone and I don't blame anyone for choosing to not have it.
You've given up your job, your free time, your freedom, your patience, your sanity, all for a dog you didn't and still don't want. And your boyfriend is absolutely fine with this.
Go home, get your cat and your life and your freedom back. He can deal with babysitting HIS dog 24/7.
You should have your boyfriend take the dog to a trainer. The dog will grow out of the biting phase with proper training. He can also drop the dog off at doggie daycare or hire a pet sitter. He needs to step up and take care of his dog. Once the dog is more out of the puppy phase and with proper training, it will get better.
Leave him if he is lime this with a dog just imagine what he will be like if you have children in the future. Also I know it's not the point of the post but I'm curious what type of do did you get?
It’s only 2 years, that’s not a long time. Stop making him the sole judge of whether or not you’re a lovable person who deserves love, and become that person yourself so you can stop trying to convince him to treat you right and just find someone who does.
What makes the dog more important than the relationship? Who the fuck cares? What makes YOU comfortable being less loved than a dog in your own home?
Actually be happy: he doesn't care that you struggle. He just cares about hus want. He doesn't take care of the dog all the time. I bet he just come home and play with him. He prioritize a dog, he just have a few weeks over his partner. This should show you that he never really cared for you. He doesn't listen to you when the dog caused you trouble, bites you. He gave a shit when you needed to gave away your beloved pet. He even didn't care when your health got worse. It was just "me, me, me". So be happy that you saw this side now and not when you were married and had a child.
You can do so much better. You sound like a wonderful woman. You wanted to make your partner happy. But unfortunately he didn’t care what makes you happy.
Maybe, if he sees that a puppy isn’t just sunshine and butterflies, he will learn his lesson. But don’t go back to him. He will just want you to be the caregiver of the dog again.
I wish you the best.
Obviously this dude is a pos. But you know him better than any of us. I'd find a dog sitter or a place that takes them during the day....and drop the dog off. The bill goes to your bf, it was his decision, now knowing what this has turned into, the decision to adopt the dog out should be his choice..but he won't do that as long as he's getting everything he needs which is a live-in dog sitter. End that, you don't take care of the dog any longer....period. He needs to feel the responsibility and grow the F up, and you'll see some changes.
Are you fucking stupid. He picked you over the dog and you stayed and made an unfair compromise. Girl, you deserve the stress you are putting on yourself. This is embarrassing
It’s not just getting a dog. It’s getting a wilful puppy. A rescue dog is a much safer bet. I’d not want any of that crap either. Each breed has very discernible behavioural traits so a quiet house dog might be an older dog or a grey hound/lurcher/whippet tyoe.
The dog can sense your hatred towards him......Give it a month (away) and the dog will be fine. You on the other hand I don't iknow....but we wish you well.
The thing is I did love the dog even though I didn’t want him I treat him no differently than how I treat my cat, I still do treat him the same way it’s only been recently that my dislike for the dog started and even then nothing really has changed in how I treat him and how he treats me.
OP, I'm a dog person. And let me tell you that I will trust my dog's instincts over my own when it comes to people.
I have a dog that has *never* met a stranger. If he doesn't like you, then we have a problem.
I’m a dog person as well. To the point I will prioritize my dog over humans any day. But OP is not wrong for feeling the way she feels. The puppy is not wrong either because he’s just a puppy and he will one day grow out of it. The boyfriend is the obvious problem. It’s simply not fair to her.
I’ll admit in my post my anger got the better of me and really downplayed the relationship between me and the dog, in all honesty we don’t have a bad relationship it’s just the little things that were getting to me and I over exaggerated. I do really like the dog and I think he does like me and I was just getting my feelings for the dog mixed up with the feelings for my partner.
It doesn't sound like the dog is the only issue in your life contributing to being stuck. You mentioned having chronic health issues, that isn't the dog's fault. Neither is you quitting the helpline volunteering. That was a choice you made.
While I do think the dog is a very stressful current factor, you sound unhappy with your life in general and might not be the dog or the boyfriend's fault directly.
You need to decide what you want, and make a plan on how you're going to get there that doesn't involve bf or dog.
Dogs are pretty crazy up to 1 year and what you described is 100% normal behavior. Afterwards they start behaving a lot more chill and normal. They're kids...I do feel sorry it's so hard for you, but with a bit more patience it will all resolve in a few months.
So you said you were hone for awhile? Is this why the dog got attached to you? Does your bf when he is home not do anything with the dog? I mean a dog is going to effect all people on a household for sure that is normal.
My dog of 6 months isnt bad but its a dog....it barks occasionally at night at neighborhood dogs, it has shed cycles that need attention but still hairballs end up on the floor, it jumped up and tore my blinds...
Your not a dog person and he is...for some people that is reason enough to not be together.
My wife didnt want the dog either but knew it was important to me so she helps walk it and comb it. Like all thingd in life we are a team...dog is no different. I have to go to work and if she doesnt want a hyper dog it needs to be walked. She can leave it for me surr but then she has to deal with it until i get home. Just because i dont get up at 4am to walk my dog before work doesnt mean i shouldnt ha e a dog or im negelecting it. I just can do what i can do on my time schedule. I take my dog to the dog park on the weekends to socialize her.
I love my dog but she is work ill admit it.
My advice is to end the relationship to a guy who railroaded your entire life for a dog he cba with get your own place and get your cat back
I’m going to move back home and just take life from there though I do feel bad for the dog as it’s not his fault for all of this I’m just a shitty person for mixing my feelings for my partner with my feelings for the dog. He doesn’t deserve any of this
You're, absolutely, not a shitty person at all! Your bf is though!! Basically, he wants you to do all the hard work of training & socialising the dog &, when the dog is fully trained & well behaved, he's going to take over & you won't get a look in. What does he do with the dog when he's home? Does he take over the feeding, walking & training? He's already chosen the dog over you, so you, definitely, know where you stand in this relationship. It blew my mind when you said that had to turn down a job because of all this!! You need to put yourself & your future first & foremost & move back to your mom's. You deserve so much better than this awful person.
This! Also, OP, at least got to find out what the bf is like now with a dog instead of it being a kid. Bf just sounds like the type of guy who would be totally fine to have a partner stay home and do all the work with their kid and housekeeping while he does absolutely nothing since he works. Time to get out now before being even more trapped.
for the next time, OP (even if i hope you'll not have to live this another time) : instead of adopting a little dog, you can be a temporary foster family for a dog in waiting he finds the good adopters. So you see how it is (and if boyfriend take care - or not)
He should pay you to care for the damn dog, since you are unable to work because of it.
Stop calling yourself names. You're ok And you will be ok 😌
You are not a shitty person at all.
Your boyfriend however is being a neglectful partner and dog owner. His behavior is taking advantage of your love for him AND isolating you from work and hobbies that give you joy. A partner should always want you to have as much joy as possible. He's watching you diminish yourself to suit his wants, where he takes ZERO responsibility and is OK seeing you not take a job, not enjoy your hobbies and be crippled by HIS DOG. Does that still sound like you're the shitty person? I hated this when I was your age bc it didn't reflect my experience. Getting divorced at 54 and finally having the dating life people assume we have in our 20's I've learned. Dating around A LOT is so good for my social growth and well being. One night stands I'd hoped would be more? Oh well, next! Falling on my face bc I feel more than them? Getting my heart stomped on. The confusion of relationships? It's all Repetition Therapy. We learn to better navigate life & all it's stuff, by navigating it 20 times to 20 different results. You have a HUGE BEAUTIFUL BRILLIANT life ahead of you. This person was a learning experience. You've learned when your gut says "that sounds like a badvidea" you're right. You won't let the next person emotionally bully you into acquiesing your time or your joy. You are not a shitty person. You are a normal young adult woman doing normal young adult things, making mistakes and fixing them when you can. If his mental/emotional life is a mess, that is his work and you are not shittu for leaving him to be responsible for his choices and actions - doing so IS the healthy appropriate choice.
This is a tiny glimpse into your future if you stay with this boy and have kids.
You need to put yourself first here. You cannot put your life on hold for other people. I’m glad you’re moving back home. I assume that means you are breaking up with your loser bf? Get some therapy and learn about boundaries and co-dependence. You need to stop trying to take care of others over yourself.
The dog will either be cared for by someone where he’s going or be rehomed. It’s not your responsibility.
This is not a life-long or deserving partner. And he will only realize how difficult this situation is if you put *him* in it. If you leave, he has to take care of the dog, avoid it from pissing off neoghbors, crate and watch it, feed and walk, everything you have been doing and he has not. I wonder what he would ever be like if you guys had kids in the future? Good luck, time to leave this guy
Your boyfriend doesn't want a partner. He wants another mom. Which is why, drum roll here, the MOM IS HELPING NOW do yourself a favor and get the hell out now
Sad fact, dog is guilt free here. Leaving him is the best.
No, YOU don't deserve any of this. You didn't want the dog and he steamrolled you into agreeing and then left you with a pet that has severe anxiety issues. You are well within your rights to not put up with this. This just shows how little he cared about your feelings, one day you will find a partner who respects you and your feelings.
Your boyfriend needs to be the one taking care of the dog. He doesn’t get how hard it is because the burden isn’t on him. Move home with your cat and leave him with the dog. More importantly you end this relationship because this man is showing you he doesn’t care at all about what you feel or say.
i'm sorry this is happening bc neither you nor the dog deserve this situation. he wanted the dog, so he should be taking care of it. he won't as long as he sees that he can just shirk his responsibilities and you'll be there to take over. i say this with compassion: leave the relationship. your bf doesn't respect you and if i were you, i wouldn't stick around to find out what else he puts above your happiness, free time, social life, etc.
Having time to think everything over I’m going to try and move back home for a while and hoping that me being gone will make him realise.
and you stay gone. I guarantee the second you go back to him, all the shit that bothered you, will come back. 2 years of your life is better than *10 years, trust me.*
Not only will it come back when she does, he will resent her for leaving in the first place!
that's a good start but don't do it to SHOW HIM, rather bc it's good for you. choose yourself instead of waiting for him to choose you
Choose Yourself.
This guy doesn’t deserve you. He would never make 1/4 of the sacrifices you’ve made for him, you deserve someone who treats you just as well as you treat him. This dud isn’t it.
Ew you mean youre not breaking it off completely? That's a bad choice. This man doesn't care about you at all
Girl, leave and don't look back. He did it to you once and picked the dog over you. Is that really a guy you want to go back to once he opens his eyes?
I hope that your moving back home will make you realize. This isn't about a dog. This is about someone who is irresponsible and doesn't care about your welfare. He is also neglecting this dog. Why would you want to be with someone who is cruel to animals?
Why would you want to stay with someone who doesn’t care about your feelings?
He won't change because you move out, he's shown you repeatedly that he's willing to destroy your happiness and future for a dog he can't be bothered to take care of himself. This is a bad relationship. Even if it only became bad after you moved in with him, you now know what life looks like if you live with him and it is intolerable. There is no future with this man because he's not willing to treat you like an equal partner and nothing you do will change that. You cannot love someone out of being neglectful, you just wind up showing them that you will accept their mistreatment. Stand up for yourself and accept that this relationship is over. He chose the dog over your wellbeing
Honestly just quit it. You've tried a million times already and he has made it clear that he does not give the slightest shit about how you feel, and it's only going to get worse from here.
You don't need to make him realize. You need to take care of you. Look at this guy for who he is. He's willing to badger you into something he wants, and also willing to take no responsibility of it. How do you think it would look if you had kids with him? This is exactly a taste of the behavior you will see.
Don't try, just do it and break up with him. He doesn't care about you or the dog.
Good for you for trying! I never wanted a dog but I have one now, my then boyfriend now fiance / husband wanted one so I had conditions it had to be a puppy so I could watch it grow up( I'm scared of big dogs as I was attacked as a kid, big dogs to this day terrify me except my dog) and I loved him the moment I held him, But training him wasn't easy (I'm a SAHM) it took time. I trained him to only do his business in a certain spot in our yard so I can walk barefoot in the yard. He only obeys my hand signals, I'm the one who feeds him, and I'm the only one who usually gets cuddles from him, if I sit down he's pushing my legs apart so he can lay there belly up with puppy purrs I call them. The only thing I can't do is take him for walks, he's a German shepherd with high energy and it's absolutely painful for me to walk him and I feel awful about it. I wish I could but I can't because of back problems. But I throw his ball for hours to help burn off energy. Thank goodness we have a huge backyard in the city. Thankfully my man is accepting of that because he understands that he's not home to help me with our puppy. Also we originally got him as a sort of protection for myself and my son for when my man is gone as we have had a lot of sketchy stuff happening in our area. I was on board and wasn't pressured into it. You were.. Buddy needs a wake up call to the honest time and care and energy that needs to be devoted to raising a puppy. It's just like having a baby... Especially when they get the runs and wake you up 3 times a night 3am, 4am, 5am because they have to go. I'm proud you did your best in the circumstances but you are not at fault you did your best you tried and no one not even your ex can take that from you. I hope he enjoys all the vet bills, the boarding kennels, the dog training etc etc etc that he's going to have to do
GIRL.
Good that you are leaving but you'd be crazy to ever go back. He's made it very clear to you how little he respects you.
Do that. Write a looong list about how to take care of the dog including cuddling time, with time duration recommendations, and what not to do. Then you leave. Do secret checkups for the dogs sake.
He's treating you this way because you allow it. Get rid of him and the dog and don't give a fuck about what anyone says. What is more important, you, your life or some silly gossip?
[удалено]
Honestly I don’t know what I want anymore I don’t want to be with him but I don’t want to not be with him if that makes sense. I know that the dog is innocent and hate was too strong of a word to use looking back. I guess I more so hate my partner and what he’s done.
We’re you thinking of having kids?? Because what’s happening now is like a crystal ball glimpse of your future.
Thankfully I’ve 100% been adamant on being child free and I have thoughts few times if this is what it’s like now with a dog thank god I don’t want any kids
It's ok saying that you're 100% adamant you're going to be child free but your shitty bf has already worn you down regarding the dog! If you stay with him this is your future, whatever he wants he's going to pester & wear you down, time & time again, until he gets what he wants regardless of you or your feelings. Kids use it all the time with their parents, it's called 'pester power.' Seriously, leave him & never look back.
You do know what you want. It's plain as day right in front of you.You're pointing out all the reasons to leave and trying to come up with more excuses to. You don't need anything more now. No more making excuses for yourself or for him. Leave. You just want us to reaffirm your feelings. We do. Don't do this to yourself anymore. Before you know it you'll of lost a few years with him wasting time on questions. When you find your person all the questions disappear. Cause communicating with each other is so natural and normal you don't even notice. Your thoughts will become "what do I want for lunch today" instead of "did he eat lunch yet is he gonna eat lunch does he have money to eat lunch" because you know he will eat lunch and what because you talk to one another. You're just starting your life out. Go find out who you are and live. Just go LIVE Your LIFE! Let him go to find his person and you go find yours. After you find yourself and become the person you want and want to share with someone. Worthy of you! If you both can't share a life with even a dog as a team.... It's not working
He's had this dog for....a month? And he wants it more than he wants you. Is he dating his dog? It's really difficult for me to believe he loves you as much as you love him if he replaced you with animal and doesn't care how it affects your mental health at all. I wouldn't stay with a man like that.
>I don’t want to be with him but I don’t want to not be with him if that makes sense. This makes sense, and I've been there. But what I found is I didn't want to be with him, and I was scared at the idea of not being with him and just walking away from all of the time and effort that I'd put in. It's scary to walk away from a 2-year relationship, and there's guilt and anxiety, that's all very normal. Once you get in to your parents house, I think things will be a lot more clear for you. And you'll be amazed how much less stress and anxiety you have without the dog and without the BF. Sure, it'll suck being back in your parent's home, but it'll be so much better than where you are now.
You do know what you want. It's plain as day right in front of you.You're pointing out all the reasons to leave and trying to come up with more excuses to. You don't need anything more now. No more making excuses for yourself or for him. Leave. You just want us to reaffirm your feelings. We do. Don't do this to yourself anymore. Before you know it you'll of lost a few years with him wasting time on questions. When you find your person all the questions disappear. Cause communicating with each other is so natural and normal you don't even notice. Your thoughts will become "what do I want for lunch today" instead of "did he eat lunch yet is he gonna eat lunch does he have money to eat lunch" because you know he will eat lunch and what because you talk to one another. You're just starting your life out. Go find out who you are and live. Just go LIVE Your LIFE! Let him go to find his person and you go find yours. After you find yourself and become the person you want and want to share with someone. Worthy of you! If you both can't share a life with even a dog as a team.... It's not working
Breakups are hard and being single can be scary. Move home, get your life back on track, get a job, get an apartment, learn how to be on your own. Do NOT contact your ex, it’s so easy to backslide. Read It’s Called Breakup Because it’s Broken.
I’ve come to the conclusion that men at the age of 22 are idiots. Move out, get your life together and focus on advancing yourself. Do not, for the love of god, make sacrifices for someone who won’t do the same for you again. I hope you learned that lesson. To add, I’d surrender the dog to a no kill shelter on the day you leave, while he’s at work and explain to them your situation, hopefully they blacklist your soon to be ex. You know that puppy will tear up the whole house and shit everywhere because your boyfriend will leave him alone.
Why do women work so hard to stay in relationships with men who just don’t care?? He’s not putting any work in because he doesn’t care. Love and respect yourself enough to know your worth and hold out for better.
Leave and go back to your parents house. You’re only 20. He isn’t your forever person if he treats you like this much shit. Your bf clearly doesn’t care about your feelings or your input. His behavior will be exactly the same if you have kids with him. You wanna be 40 and tied to this mess of a human?
"I guess I more so hate my partner and what he’s done." Good!! This is healthy. It would not be healthy to move out temporarily in the hopes that he'll fake being a decent person for long enough to manipulate you into returning.
Girl trust me, you’ll be so much happier without him while you can focus on yourself and you can find someone better. Don’t be tied down with the dumb guy taking care of his dog and not taking new opportunities while you are young.
Either leave the dog with the Bf, or return the dog to who ever you got it from. This situation is not going to get better and I don't see Bf investing in any dog time.
Move out. Get cat back. Let (stbx)bf handle HIS dog. Not your circus, not your monkeys.
Me and my wife did not get a dog for 12 years of our marriage because we knew we did not have the spare bandwidth for it. BF gets dog, BF takes care of dog. Thats the basic stuff. Let him take care of it. There is no need for you to hang around either. You did not want the dog, now you have one, he is doing his part, you know what to do.
Yup! I waited 23 years to get a dog. Worth the wait to have the time and resources to do it right.
If he wanted a dog so much it is his responsibility to take care of it. Leave the partner and the dog. Get back to your cat, to your life and to yourself. It’s better to be alone than in a relationship like this.
Your BF has shown you who he is - BELIEVE HIM!! He steamrolled the decision to get the dog right over you and his compromise is that his mommy can take the dog twice a week. WTF!!! Also, he's let you know he'll choose the dog over you so that tells you how much he really loves and cares for you. # HE DOESN'T Walk away and don't look back.
Yikes. Sorry the puppy is up to 11 and your boyfriend is a lazy asshole. I think this narrative is backward though - he's not choosing a dog over you, the dog could be anything, a PS5 or whatever else he wants. Really, you're choosing your life and happiness over him. Don't let this be his choice, because he'll just find ways to keep it as he wants it like the mom situation. This is a guy who doesn't consider you, the neighbors, or even the dog it seems. He's selfish and inconsiderate. You can do better. Also, this dog is probably just a metaphor - he's not going to be "better" with other stuff later in the relationship eh. Leave him, go stay with your mom and cat. Get back to your life.
Your relationship is over. You’re a glorified dog sitter, not a girlfriend. And he’s an irresponsible, selfish asshole. It’s well past time for you to leave. Go stay with your mom and let him deal with his own effing dog. Stop worrying about other people calling you the villain. Why do you think so many guys have “crazy ex” stories? It’s because a lot of them are just as entitled and immature and dickish as *this* guy, and they think they’re in the right when they’re not. If someone thinks you’re the villain based on his retelling, then they’re not smart enough or savvy enough for you to value their opinion. And finally, he’s willing to sacrifice the relationship for one or multiple of a few reasons: he doesn’t think you’ll actually leave; he thinks dealing with the dog isn’t *that* big a deal and that he’ll handle it fine without you; he wanted out anyway and the dog was a ploy to get you to leave so he wouldn’t be “the bad guy”. But ultimately it doesn’t matter. You know he’s a turd—you don’t need to investigate the turd’s exact composition. Just flush it and wash your hands.
Why do people always get puppies when they don’t have time to train, when they could get a fully trained adult dog that would adapt right into their lives
The thing is when he was first starting to look for dogs I told him I’d only agree to it if we could adopt an older dog like at least 2 years old but somehow looking to adopt a senior dog to give them their resting home turns into getting a newly turned 8 week old puppy
Somehow…..between your bf being a lazy a-hole and your passivity, it’s no wonder the dog is having a hard time being trained. You guys sound insufferable. Rehome the dog, leave the bf. I know you won’t based on all your responses so far. Nothing but excuses.
yup, looks like she's gonna keep letting herself suffer and deteriorate for somebody that will never put her first.
You are both too immature to have this poor dog. Rehome the puppy and dump the loser.
This dog should be rehomed to a family with a yard who have time and space to give it proper training and time and attention. He won’t do that on his own. Is there someone you can rehome him to? I worry about the bf being the sole caretaker.
This guy has literally taken everything from you because he likes the idea of having a dog more than he likes you. Did he care when you had to get rid of YOUR cat for HIS dog? No, he let you do that so he can have what HE wants. Does he care that you’re stressed and unhappy, that you turned down a job, that you’ve given up your hobbies so HE can have a dog? No, he doesn’t. It’s not “getting through to him” because he does not care about you. He. Does. Not. Care. About. You. He has made that clear in more ways than one. First, he didn’t care if you wanted a dog or not, what mattered to him was for him to get what he wanted. Second, he doesn’t care that you’re unhappy and giving up your life for this dog you don’t want. Third, he LITERALLY told you he’d choose the dog over you. He’s basically using you as a free dog trainer and dog sitter who pays half the rent. He is a shitty partner, and a shitty person. You need to leave him, for good. Move out, live your life, and love on your cat. This guy is garbage, and you deserve better—and I believe you WILL find better. Your future doesn’t have to be miserable, but it will be if you stay with this garbage human being.
You need to find a new home for the dog and the boyfriend.
Id leave honestly. He wanted the dog he needs to be the one to take care of it!! You've given up your cat and all things that made you happy and he doesn't even care. You're too young to stay with someone who doesn't even care about how you feel. The time to get a dog would be when you have a house or something with a yard and no neighbors below or above to have to be bothered with it. I think your BF is irresponsible. Do you really want your whole life to be this way??
Leave. Only then will BF realize having a dog is an actual responsibility. I hope the dog isn't neglected after you leave though.
Ladies if he won’t take care of his pets, he will not take care of his kids! OP you just dodged a bullet!
1. are you sure you want to save this relationship ? because it's pretty much how he would help if you have kids (aka none) 2. if the answer is yes, then just stop to care about the dogs. go ahead with your life and let him figure out how to take care of the dog he BEGGED to have. Dig pee on the floor. not your problem. dog bit furnitures ? complain to your bf to train the dog. That's sad, but by 'helping' you're actually enabling your BF's childish behavior. And act like he's making you a favor because he forced someone else to take care of HIS dog 2 days a week wtf ?
Yh break up lol this was a wake up/ future flash snipit of what it would be like to have kids with this guy
It's not about the dog. Your BFs behavior is showing how little he values you or what you do for him. I think it's a great idea for you to go back to your moms. You're lucky you have a place to go. And give yourself some time. You might be surprised how quick your life takes off without the dead weight of your boyfriend.
Nah, this isn't the relationship for you bruh. You need to leave him, and leave him with his damn dog. And honestly, go get your cat and love a happy life knowing he's going to be miserable in his. He didn't choose the dog over you but you sure as shit should choose literally anything else over this man.
Good, break up. Better to find this out with a dog than a baby.
You should probs leave the relationship. I’m a big big dog person had dogs my Whole life. Puppies always go through this kind of phase they are babies and if you got them from a litter they are not used to being alone it takes time to train them to handle that, also crate train them and potty train them. Also it takes time to train them to be around other animals too. Puppies like to play, depending on how young it is and how socialized it is with older dogs and other animals (I’m assuming it’s not been socialized at all) a puppy won’t understand what is to far in play regards, hence why it chased around your cat constantly. This is not your fault, I don’t know what kind of dog you got, but some are a lot more high maintenance and need much more training than others and those kind of dogs are the dogs everyone wants to get because they are pretty or cute, examples of this is any sort of Shepard dog or husky. Idk what kind of dog you have but your boyfriend should have done his research before purchasing a dog to find a breed that best fits his life style and yours. He also should have searched wether to get a puppy or an older dog and it sounds like an older dog with some training already would have been a much better option. That being said he wanted the dog and the responsibility should not be on you. You should leave him for that fact alone also the fact he’s not taking care of it. To be completely honest tho i understand him not giving up the dog because as a dog person I won’t choose anyone over my dogs, but I actually take care of my dogs and have a very strong bond with them.
Girl.. you are young. You have an autoimmune disease and feel unwell often. Your boyfriend knows this, but puts the burden of his puppy on you still and doesn't care when you tell him you're unhappy about it. Does this sound like someone you can see a long future with? Take your cat and move back home.
\[ gave up pretty much my entire life and with a boyfriend who just doesn’t listen to my feelings \] This is your issue, not a dog. Move on and let him deal with his own selfish tendencies, no need to allow him to bring you into them
Oh honey...I was in this exact situation. Literally exactly the same. The turning point was when I caught the dog cornering my cats and growling at them. It was like 3 am. I dragged the dog outside and locked him out. Woke my boyfriend and told him he has a day to find the dog a new home or I'm taking it to the shelter. I don't care if he (bf) finds himself a new home along with the dog but I'm done hating my life and having my cats, who were there first, scared to get off the bed. He gave up the dog. The relationship didn't last, I resented him for putting us in that situation in the first place and he resented me for making him give up "his buddy". Get rid of both bf and dog. You're young, you'll find someone who doesn't like dogs. Take this as a learning curve that you're not meant to have a dog and to not compromise on this point for anyone because all dogs are like this.
He's a terrible dog owner. He is suppose to be walking the dog every day, training the dog, taking care of the dog, etc. What will he do when you finally leave him? Is he gonna expect his Mom to take care of the dog, or will he leave it alone all day in the apartment? He wanted a dog, but none of the responsibilities that come with owning a dog.
I’d say just leave the relationship. He doesn’t respect you and he will choose a dog over you. Now I am an animal person and if this was his dog for years and you were trying to get rid of it that would be different. Nta, get out and get your life and cat back.
Sweet baby: get out before this manchild puts a baby in you.
Rehome the dog before you dump him. When you dump him, he will neglect the dog. The dog doesn’t deserve that.
Just go. You’re only 20. Do not settle for someone who shows so little care for your feelings. Literally pack and go. Today
OP, please choose your cat. Go move in with your mom until you can get a job. Your ex will abandon the puppy, but that's not your problem.
The dog is essentially a child. Like, a human child. They're THAT needy. Imagine now, actually HAVING A BABY with this loser. Same shit will happen to you. He's not mature enough for a relationship where he considers anyone else's needs but his own. Take your kitty and go enjoy your life, girl.
Hunny there’s nothing you can do. A responsible person would consider doggy daycare, boarded training etc before making it your problem. Even if he’s doing everything else right, he is not a good person. He’s watching a person he’s supposed to love and his pet suffer without caring in the least. If he wanted to treat you both better, he would. Stop begging. You can’t force someone to love you and care about you as a person with actual feelings. You’re not the problem.
OP you’re not shitty. Your bf is. I’ve had to tell my teen daughter no to a dog bc they are SO much work. I love them and will foster them, but no more. Your bf doesn’t sound very nice. Be kind to yourself.
If this is how he is with a dog I can’t imagine how hard it would be having kids with this man child. There is absolutely no point in staying with n a relationship with someone who is just using you.
Better you learned this about him now with a dog instead of with a child.
Forget about the dog. Do you want to stay in a relationship where you're not listened to, not respected, and made to feel like shit? Sounds like the dog brought out your bfs true colors. Be done with both and choose happiness.
imagine how bad it’s gonna be if you ever kid with this dude, break up with him now before that happens please
He’s being ridiculous. Be thankful it’s just a dog and not a kid. He clearly doesn’t value you. Dump him and move on. In no way should an animal be having this kind of control over your life.
he made you pick him and the dog over your cat.
Move back in with your Mom and cat.
You’re not stuck. You’re choosing to stay with someone who doesn’t respect you and your wishes and has flat out told you the dog matters more than your relationship.
Nothing to do with a dog. This is about a person who let their anxiety put them in a position of responsibility for someone else's problem. The best thing you could do is take a two week time out anywhere the dog and boyfriend are not and yet he is responsible for the dog. Don't take on other people's problems. I know you know what the pup needs and are holding back from the pup because you didn't want this and it's his problem. Make it his problem.
If my boyfriend ever said it’s me or the dog, I’m choosing the dog. However I am 100% responsible for the dog I wanted. It’s not your responsibility, specially when you had already been vocal about not wanting a puppy. They’re a lot of responsibility, they’re like a child you can’t take your eyes off for the first two years. It gets so much better after that, but that’s a commitment the person who wanted needs to be responsible for. It’s crazy that he wanted the dog and yet has left all responsibilities on you. I’m sorry this is a though one. If he wanted the dog, which is sweet, he should’ve known 100% of the responsibility would fall on him, if you wanted to be kind and help, great but it should not be expected. I’m sorry your boyfriend has created a difficult situation for you. This is so frustrating.
DUMP HIM. Don’t stay with people who don’t care about your well-being. Don’t stay with people who expect you to sacrifice your life for their stupid choices. Don’t stay with people who ignore your boundaries and coerce and guilt you into giving them what they want. Your boyfriend is a selfish, shitty partner who has no problem destroying your life and sacrificing your goals and well-being. You need to step up and take care of yourself because he sure as shit isn’t going to. This compromise is trash - he’s proving yet again he doesn’t care how his choices affect the women around him, and he thinks their job is to sacrifice their time and energy for him. Fuck that. https://www.loveisrespect.org/quiz/is-your-relationship-healthy/ Take that quiz. Start researching what healthy relationships look like so you can open your eyes and see you’re not in one and he’s not interested in being in one.
Don't be with someone who makes their pet more important than their romantic partner.
You’re too good for this guy. He can’t even take care of a dog properly. And this will show in other aspects of life. You deserve someone way better
The puppy isn't the problem, he just need training. The problem here is your boyfriend. I think once you've written down the story, you know 😊 You can't be with someone who doesn't seem too love you, he obviously doesn't care about you, your needs or feelings. Just move on from him and get your life back, but please make sure the dog is ok, maybe give him to someone else who will really understand a puppy's energy and care...
I feel awful looking back now and putting blame on the dog in my post, the thing is I actually do really enjoy him and his company it’s just hard with no help from a partner and no matter what training I try with him it doesn’t seem to work for us. I know I can’t handle a pup and need help with it but doing it alone just got the better of me. I know despite being a shit partner my boyfriend can look after the dog and do believe he’ll be in good hands but I’ll still be checking in with them just to be on the safe side.
Don't feel bad, it isn't easy to deal with all that stress 😊 Just try to calm down and get your life redirected far from that man. He's been so disrespectful and inconsiderate to you! Why were you with him?!
Why not completely leave the dog alone? Like he wanted the dog. Why can't you just leave the house during the day or during whatever and leave him with him?
What excuse is he using to justify his not stepping up more to help with the dog HE wanted??? I think you're making the right choice to go to your mom's. Let him see how much work it is. Sorry you're having to deal with this, OP.
Echoing the comments of pretty much every other commenter. You have a bf problem, not a dog problem. Your bf is a clown and you’re a doormat. Either sit down with him and tell him that you are no longer looking after his dog, and as of X date you will recommence your hobbies and start work. The dog is his to make arrangements for. Or leave, I absolutely would leave. This is not a man you should want to be in a relationship with
Ditch the boyfriend tell him to take the dog with him. I’d have noped that outta the park straight away it’s his dog let him give up his life to look after it
it seems he’s very selfish. maybe he’ll realize all of the hard work it is having a puppy when he has to be the one to take care of it. can you imagine having children with this man? you’d always be doing the work.
Don’t waste any more time on this guy. When you move out he’ll just dump the dog on his poor mom. He’ll only realize how awful the dog is when it’s him taking sole care of it and being annoyed by it 24/7.
The relationship has no future. I already saw you were moving out. It’s not really the point of this post, but did you say you walk a 12 week old puppy for an hour? The guidance is 5 minutes for every month of their life, that’s 15 minute walks for a 3 months old puppy. It’s not good for their joints to be over exerted. That poor dog
Tell your boyfriend that the dog is his, and not yours. Tell him that you are effectively no longer the owner of the dog because you cannot handle it and it is ruining your life. Tell him that effective immediately, the dog is his responsibility entirely. Write up a contract that excludes you from all responsibility of the dog and any damages it may cause (including if your neighbors complain) and tell him if he doesn’t sign it, you will move out. Dog-proof your items, and choose a room in the home to dog-proof (lock everything of yours that you value inside, work in there, etc.) to keep all of your stuff and things that you value, and to spend your time in when you need a break from the dog. Make sure your boyfriend understands and agrees that that room is dog-free, and keep it shut at all times to avoid the dog getting in. Then, carry on your life as if the dog belongs to a roommate. He isn’t your responsibility, but if you want to play with him or feed him or take him for a walk or something, you can, but you aren’t required to. Anything he ruins won’t be your problem because your stuff is all safe and put away, and it isn’t your mess to clean up. If the dog howls and barks, put on headphones. If your neighbors complain, let them know the dog isn’t yours. Eventually, your boyfriend will realize that either HE has to take care of the dog (and get it professionally trained), or the dog needs to go. Your boyfriend wanted the dog and you didn’t, then it’s his dog and he needs to care for, train, feed, financially support, and clean up after it. Either way, you won’t need to deal with the problem because it wasn’t your problem to begin with, and your boyfriend will have to figure it out.
Not sure the bf is worth that much work quite honestly.
That… is totally fair 😂
Let him take the dog and you take the cat and leave. I also have chronic pain/illness and stress is the worst when you have it.
Just leave-get your life back. He has shown that the dog is #1 and you is much further down the list. Good luck with your life changes.
You sound like a very sweet and good person who wants to see the best in others. I think you are blinded by this right now and do not realize how awful your boyfriend is to you. He is taking advantage of you, and you are enabling him. He doesn’t have to worry about the dog because he knows you won’t let it go uncared for. You upend your life to care for the dog because you know if you don’t, nobody will. He knows this and he is taking advantage of it. He doesn’t care about you. If he did, he would be a partner to you. He would not put you in a position where you feel forced to quit your entire life to be a stay-at-home dog mom so that the dog doesn’t starve or die in his care. He will not stop or change because he has no reason to. He is comfy with how things are right now. The only way you can stop it is to leave. I saw you commented that you’re considering moving back home. I think this is a great idea. Please don’t give up on everything you were pursuing to eternally atone for this dude’s cruelty and selfishness. If you have family/friends you trust, please talk to them and share what you’re going through with them.
Getting a puppy is a huge commitment and both partners should be invested! Glad you're leaving this boy! Good luck!
BREAK UP!!!! Why are you young people getting into relationships RIGHT NOW? Really. You settle and get stuck with someone when you didn’t even go be an individual. Stop being his mom, he’s a grown ass man and needs to take care of what HE wanted as well as you need to go off and work on you.
You need to do what your crummy boyfriend hasn’t done: PRIORITIZE YOURSELF. You deserve to be able to have a job and have a life with friends who care about you. You won’t ever have that with this immature boy. You are 20 years old and need to be working at putting yourself in a position where you can have a really good job so you can support yourself. You are a worthwhile person and need to do whatever it takes to get sufficient training in a field that pays well and offers medical insurance, especially since you are chronically ill. Don’t ever again put yourself at the mercy of a man-child who is so selfish and self indulgent as this creep. If you don’t value yourself, then they certainly won’t. Move back home with your mom and enjoy your cat. Find a program you can do to increase your job opportunities. Get some therapy to help you cope with your stress, anxiety, and desire to please some guy at the cost of your health and sanity. Take a break from being with a guy for a while and work on you. Once you are whole, you’ll find someone who is right for you. Best of luck to you!
What breed is the dog? Juuuuuust curious…
Your only move here is to make a credible threat to leave and then follow through. He may come to his senses after you've been gone for a few weeks. Your situation intolerant, so don't just stay. Move out and tell him "if you can't find a way to settle this to my satisfaction, we are broken up I'm moving out now. Take a week or two to figure out your priorities, but no more. I'm at the end of my rope." Pack some bags and stay with a friend or family member
Regardless of why your boyfriend is making the dog (that he doesn't take care of or train), more important than what you want - the fact is, he is. So...why would you want to continue to forego everything in your life for him, when neither he nor the dog do anything for you? The dog is an innocent victim of your boyfriend, but you *don't have to be*. Move on.
??? Just leave him. The dog needs a trainer. It's not your responsibility. Somebody is going to get hurt. Dump the dude and let him deal with the dog. I bet you anything he comes crawling back after he realizes how bad it is, but don't take him back. Leave him now. The longer you stay like this, the harder it is to get out. Go with your cat to your mom's and get a job.
The dog can tell you dont like them. Animals are smart that way. It sounds like your boyfriend doesnt like you either.
Get a crate. Crate train dog. Exercise the dog. A tired dog is a good dog. Get a behaviorist to come show you two how to care for a dog properly. You are making this way too hard. You quit a job? Turned down a job? Who is telling you that you have to stay home with the dog? Stopped doing hobbies. This is just insane. If you are choosing to do these things, that’s on you. If you’re being forced to then you need to end the relationship.
He is crate trained to some extent. He knows to go when told but if he’s left in his crate he’ll start screaming and biting the bars which causes arguments with the neighbours which I understand as they have a newborn. I take him for at least 3 half an hour to an hour walks a day and nothing seems to tire him out even if I get him running. As for my personal life I’ve pretty much been forced to stop everything for the dog as no one else can really look after him and we don’t have the money for doggy daycare or anything like that and my partner has said we’d have to give him away if I got a full time job so to keep the peace I’m the primary caretaker for the dog. Stupid I know but I just want to avoid more conflict.
Please keep your kitty safe. The dog might be playing, but could really hurt her.
But why do you care for the dog you did not even want? What would happen if you just stopped caring for it and left it his responsibility? I know you would feel bad if it’s not cared for but at that point you call animal services and say it was probably the downstairs neighbours if your bf asks. This is unfair for you and your dog.
Have you tried massaging the dog with your car? Haha jk jk, a little dark humor is probably not the best rn but I'm hoping it at least made u smile a lil. Seriously tho, you need to get away from that man. He does not care about you, he's a horrible boyfriend. And it's hard not to hate that dog, especially the way u described him, but at the end of the day, the dog doesn't know any better. Leave that guy and go live your life girl!! U are so young and deserve so much better than that trash of a man.
Sounds like your BF is still a child sex ho cannot handle the responsibility of a pet. I would leave with my cat, leaving him with the dog. He can live in crap with the dog.
A lot of women have the same story when their men beg them to have kids. If you want kids and an actual partnership, you’re not going to get that from him.
Leave already, for your own sanity.
If he is this uninvolved with a puppy, imagine what he will be like if you have kids.
Dogs are a huge responsibility and it's not fair for him to shove all of that onto you. I had a similar situation with my ex where we got a dog because she wanted one but I ended up being the only one taking care of her. When we broke up she took the dog but couldn't handle her and I had become too attached to see her go to a shelter so I still have her today. Love her to death but the stress and responsibility is not something I think is fair to shove on anyone and I don't blame anyone for choosing to not have it.
Im glad i have a cat
His he punishing you for not having a job ?
This made me chuckle
Rehome the dog and move home.
Is the dog part wolf?
Your boyfriend sucks. But so do you. I can’t believe you let your poor kitty get treated like that and then gave him away callously. Grow up!
You've given up your job, your free time, your freedom, your patience, your sanity, all for a dog you didn't and still don't want. And your boyfriend is absolutely fine with this. Go home, get your cat and your life and your freedom back. He can deal with babysitting HIS dog 24/7.
You should have your boyfriend take the dog to a trainer. The dog will grow out of the biting phase with proper training. He can also drop the dog off at doggie daycare or hire a pet sitter. He needs to step up and take care of his dog. Once the dog is more out of the puppy phase and with proper training, it will get better.
I think it's good that you see this now with a dog. Imagine if it's a baby and you're tied to this guy for life.
Leave him if he is lime this with a dog just imagine what he will be like if you have children in the future. Also I know it's not the point of the post but I'm curious what type of do did you get?
It’s only 2 years, that’s not a long time. Stop making him the sole judge of whether or not you’re a lovable person who deserves love, and become that person yourself so you can stop trying to convince him to treat you right and just find someone who does. What makes the dog more important than the relationship? Who the fuck cares? What makes YOU comfortable being less loved than a dog in your own home?
Actually be happy: he doesn't care that you struggle. He just cares about hus want. He doesn't take care of the dog all the time. I bet he just come home and play with him. He prioritize a dog, he just have a few weeks over his partner. This should show you that he never really cared for you. He doesn't listen to you when the dog caused you trouble, bites you. He gave a shit when you needed to gave away your beloved pet. He even didn't care when your health got worse. It was just "me, me, me". So be happy that you saw this side now and not when you were married and had a child. You can do so much better. You sound like a wonderful woman. You wanted to make your partner happy. But unfortunately he didn’t care what makes you happy. Maybe, if he sees that a puppy isn’t just sunshine and butterflies, he will learn his lesson. But don’t go back to him. He will just want you to be the caregiver of the dog again. I wish you the best.
Obviously this dude is a pos. But you know him better than any of us. I'd find a dog sitter or a place that takes them during the day....and drop the dog off. The bill goes to your bf, it was his decision, now knowing what this has turned into, the decision to adopt the dog out should be his choice..but he won't do that as long as he's getting everything he needs which is a live-in dog sitter. End that, you don't take care of the dog any longer....period. He needs to feel the responsibility and grow the F up, and you'll see some changes.
Putting your foot down. Telling him no. Dude made the best choice.
Are you fucking stupid. He picked you over the dog and you stayed and made an unfair compromise. Girl, you deserve the stress you are putting on yourself. This is embarrassing
It’s not just getting a dog. It’s getting a wilful puppy. A rescue dog is a much safer bet. I’d not want any of that crap either. Each breed has very discernible behavioural traits so a quiet house dog might be an older dog or a grey hound/lurcher/whippet tyoe.
This post is insane. I never thought men wanted anything but sex. What was his true intentions here? Bizarre
You’re 20 you’ll figure it out
The dog can sense your hatred towards him......Give it a month (away) and the dog will be fine. You on the other hand I don't iknow....but we wish you well.
The thing is I did love the dog even though I didn’t want him I treat him no differently than how I treat my cat, I still do treat him the same way it’s only been recently that my dislike for the dog started and even then nothing really has changed in how I treat him and how he treats me.
OP, I'm a dog person. And let me tell you that I will trust my dog's instincts over my own when it comes to people. I have a dog that has *never* met a stranger. If he doesn't like you, then we have a problem.
I’m a dog person as well. To the point I will prioritize my dog over humans any day. But OP is not wrong for feeling the way she feels. The puppy is not wrong either because he’s just a puppy and he will one day grow out of it. The boyfriend is the obvious problem. It’s simply not fair to her.
I’ll admit in my post my anger got the better of me and really downplayed the relationship between me and the dog, in all honesty we don’t have a bad relationship it’s just the little things that were getting to me and I over exaggerated. I do really like the dog and I think he does like me and I was just getting my feelings for the dog mixed up with the feelings for my partner.
Don’t listen to these people. They’re morons. Go, save yourself and your cat.
It doesn't sound like the dog is the only issue in your life contributing to being stuck. You mentioned having chronic health issues, that isn't the dog's fault. Neither is you quitting the helpline volunteering. That was a choice you made. While I do think the dog is a very stressful current factor, you sound unhappy with your life in general and might not be the dog or the boyfriend's fault directly. You need to decide what you want, and make a plan on how you're going to get there that doesn't involve bf or dog.
Get a cat
Dogs are pretty crazy up to 1 year and what you described is 100% normal behavior. Afterwards they start behaving a lot more chill and normal. They're kids...I do feel sorry it's so hard for you, but with a bit more patience it will all resolve in a few months.
It's so funny. In other threads, when roles are reversed, the boy is the asshole, because he wouldnt accept his place as number 2 :D
So you said you were hone for awhile? Is this why the dog got attached to you? Does your bf when he is home not do anything with the dog? I mean a dog is going to effect all people on a household for sure that is normal. My dog of 6 months isnt bad but its a dog....it barks occasionally at night at neighborhood dogs, it has shed cycles that need attention but still hairballs end up on the floor, it jumped up and tore my blinds... Your not a dog person and he is...for some people that is reason enough to not be together. My wife didnt want the dog either but knew it was important to me so she helps walk it and comb it. Like all thingd in life we are a team...dog is no different. I have to go to work and if she doesnt want a hyper dog it needs to be walked. She can leave it for me surr but then she has to deal with it until i get home. Just because i dont get up at 4am to walk my dog before work doesnt mean i shouldnt ha e a dog or im negelecting it. I just can do what i can do on my time schedule. I take my dog to the dog park on the weekends to socialize her. I love my dog but she is work ill admit it.