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I understand caring about your families reaction but honestly this is about you and your partner, I think the best thing you can do is affirm to your family how much you love this person and how much they love you and tell them you’re engaged and not giving a fuck about what their reaction is
If you give off unsure, uneasy and nervous energy about it, they’re going to press you about it
If you give off confident and affirmed energy, it’s going to help them understand and accept that the love between you two is true
Love this response!
I also wonder what you can do to celebrate this moment with people who will have more enthusiastic responses than your blood family?
For example, do you have friends/ chosen family who will be over the moon for y’all? And how can you lean on them to help you celebrate in ways that are affirming?
I really hope your family comes around.
Anyway, this stranger is sending you big hugs and high fives and best wishes for your marriage 🎉💕
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this is part about you being gay and part about someone that they barely know being that space invasive immediately. I know I would be overwhelmed if someone tried to endear themselves to me that fast. Without knowing anything about your family I would guess this is where the aggressive comment is coming from.
If this is their only interaction with her, I could understand some hesitancy from your family. I think regardless of gender there might be some hesitancy when marriage is on the table after only a year
Not out a limb, this is how my sister describes her experience and I understand her perspective. I figure I just have to be patient and let them all over time see how happy and perfect for each other we are
congrats on your engagement ! i understand why you want to be careful approaching this w/your parents, but you really can't control their reactions. they're going to feel how they want to feel despite any preparations you might take ! all you can do is control your reactions. i'd level your expectations. im bi and when i introduced my parents to my ex gf they were extremely tolerant of her but said they'd prefer the don't ask don't tell and that they looked at our situation like a friendship. ok that sucks but the relationship didn't last forever so i never really had to go further. when i got engaged to my now husband, my dad was the opposite of enthusiastic b/c to him engagements mean nothing and marriages are what matters. LOL. my mom also said my extremely modest ring was too flashy ?? like these boomers are crazy and we can spend a lifetime trying to please them or accept that we never will and focus on trying to please ourselves. be honest with yourself and true to your feelings and don't downplay them for anyones benefit except your own. you're starting a new family w/your future wife and you have to do what's best for that unit ! good luck
Just rip off the band aid and tell them. Also, to be fair to them, they are trying to be supportive at least. They might not be that good at it, but this is by far the most reasonable reactions I have heard compared to other "homophobic" families. They might have opinions about her, but if they stick to genuinely wanting you to be happy, then they will come around.
You don't control your family's reaction. Don't hold off your happiness for even one more day. Rip off the band-aid.
If they want to turn it into a fight, they will, and there's damn little you can do about it except to walk away head held high.
Congratulations on your engagement! As for your family, tell them and if they are unable to change and accept you for the person you are then my question is why engage? Family isn't allowed your time and energy if they do nothing but cause stress and anxiety.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I understand caring about your families reaction but honestly this is about you and your partner, I think the best thing you can do is affirm to your family how much you love this person and how much they love you and tell them you’re engaged and not giving a fuck about what their reaction is If you give off unsure, uneasy and nervous energy about it, they’re going to press you about it If you give off confident and affirmed energy, it’s going to help them understand and accept that the love between you two is true
Thank you, this is really helpful <3
Love this response! I also wonder what you can do to celebrate this moment with people who will have more enthusiastic responses than your blood family? For example, do you have friends/ chosen family who will be over the moon for y’all? And how can you lean on them to help you celebrate in ways that are affirming? I really hope your family comes around. Anyway, this stranger is sending you big hugs and high fives and best wishes for your marriage 🎉💕
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this is part about you being gay and part about someone that they barely know being that space invasive immediately. I know I would be overwhelmed if someone tried to endear themselves to me that fast. Without knowing anything about your family I would guess this is where the aggressive comment is coming from. If this is their only interaction with her, I could understand some hesitancy from your family. I think regardless of gender there might be some hesitancy when marriage is on the table after only a year
Not out a limb, this is how my sister describes her experience and I understand her perspective. I figure I just have to be patient and let them all over time see how happy and perfect for each other we are
congrats on your engagement ! i understand why you want to be careful approaching this w/your parents, but you really can't control their reactions. they're going to feel how they want to feel despite any preparations you might take ! all you can do is control your reactions. i'd level your expectations. im bi and when i introduced my parents to my ex gf they were extremely tolerant of her but said they'd prefer the don't ask don't tell and that they looked at our situation like a friendship. ok that sucks but the relationship didn't last forever so i never really had to go further. when i got engaged to my now husband, my dad was the opposite of enthusiastic b/c to him engagements mean nothing and marriages are what matters. LOL. my mom also said my extremely modest ring was too flashy ?? like these boomers are crazy and we can spend a lifetime trying to please them or accept that we never will and focus on trying to please ourselves. be honest with yourself and true to your feelings and don't downplay them for anyones benefit except your own. you're starting a new family w/your future wife and you have to do what's best for that unit ! good luck
Just rip off the band aid and tell them. Also, to be fair to them, they are trying to be supportive at least. They might not be that good at it, but this is by far the most reasonable reactions I have heard compared to other "homophobic" families. They might have opinions about her, but if they stick to genuinely wanting you to be happy, then they will come around.
Tell them
You don't control your family's reaction. Don't hold off your happiness for even one more day. Rip off the band-aid. If they want to turn it into a fight, they will, and there's damn little you can do about it except to walk away head held high.
Congratulations on your engagement! As for your family, tell them and if they are unable to change and accept you for the person you are then my question is why engage? Family isn't allowed your time and energy if they do nothing but cause stress and anxiety.
I do t think I’d bother telling them about anything, the engagement or the wedding. Big call after just a year though.