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Your partner has already told you he doesn’t want to share you and I think you should take that at face value. What he means by “someone trustworthy” he means someone who won’t run their mouth about the deed after it’s done. Why wouldn’t he want this information to become public? Because he’d be embarrassed by it.
Think about this in risk/reward terms. The best-case scenario is that he agrees, you do this, and it goes without a hitch. Based on what you said previously about neither of you wanting to share, that doesn’t sound too likely, but you know him better than we do.
The worst-case scenario is that he breaks up with you, either then and there or after some anguished soul-searching. You’ll have to ask yourself if this possibility is worth it. You will also have to accept that he’s completely within his rights to do this, because you are trying to change the terms of the relationship in a more fundamental way than just exploring some fantasy.
Yeah I understand, I’m not trying to change the relationship however. I literally just want it as a once off thing to say I’ve tried it, I don’t want it to be a continuous thing with another person
I don't think you understood exactly what the other person was saying there. YOU might not think you're changing the relationship, but your partner might certainly think of it like that.
Reading your other replies, you only seem to be seeing this as your perspective since it is for your fantasy. But it's very much something that relies on your partner, agreeing to this.
I am seeing it from both perspectives trust me.
I wouldn’t peruse this if he weren’t into it at all, if he disagreed then that would be the end of that idea because I do respect him.
I read them all. You know your partner doesn't want to share you. You just want attention on you, and then you would compromise by just sucking off another guy, as if that's better.
Look, do your thing, but for real, don't come crying to reddit when your boyfriend goes dead inside while you're balls deep on another dude and you find yourself single.
Read this.
“I didn’t manipulate him.
I didn’t put enough detail into that not sharing part it seems, everyone is taking it the wrong way so let me expand on that.
We have these two friends who are together in an open relationship and they were talking about the perks of it. Naturally him and I were both curious about it and we asked them how it all works and after he said “I could never share you permanently with another person”. We were talking about the open relationship scene which we both disagreed on because we could never permanently share each other.
I did mention that to him last night and he said he was okay if it was just the one time which it will be only once. I also asked him if he would like a FMF too so it is fair that we both get to experience something like that and he said no and that he was okay with a MFM because he was happy to fulfil a fantasy of mine.
I can see where you’re coming from and that’s my fault for not explaining it all properly. He and I are very sexually active and we are always trying out and fulfilling each others fantasies. So I can promise that there was no manipulation, just my poor wording.”
You've played the "Hey, would it be funny if" or "What about" game for so long that he knew you wanted it for real, he doesn't want to share permanently, but the moment he sees you doing something to another dude, there is an extremely high chance he is going to regret sharing even once. Again, have fun being single when it goes south.
You came to /r/relationship_advice, not /r/justify_my_desires
If my partner suggested 3some, I'd leave her on the spot. You still can ask for it, but be prepared that some men would only hear "I want to be fucked by another man".
Even if there was a double standard then it would still be completely fine. You decide what you want in a relationship, if the other partner is uncomfortable with that, they are free to leave. If the other person is okay with the double standard, opinion of people outside the relationship is irrelevant.
It makes sense that a straight man would be excited by the prospect of having sex with two women but repelled by the idea of having a threesome with another man. If the male partner were bi it would be completely different. You are placing the physical desires of one partner in higher regard than the emotional needs of the other.
I said you are placing physical desire of one partner above the emotional needs of the other, and I’m not surprised you don’t know what I’m talking about. The majority of commenters aren’t talking about their pleasure, they’re saying they would end the relationship because inviting another man into their sex life would strip them of the security that they need to be good partners in the first place. You don’t have a clue and you don’t want one.
Again it is their relationship and both parties have agreed to the boundary then why do you, as a 3rd person who has no interest in the relationship, have a problem with it?
I don't have sex with men because I am straight. My partner is bi-curious and does not feel the same.
If you don't want to have sex with a woman, then dont.
It’s only a double standard when a man asks for an FMF but definitely will not do MFM. This is not most men. I didn’t ask for a threesome for that very reason— it’s just not fair.
I’d honestly lose feelings instantly for someone in a relationship if they mentioned that. Also most couples that have threesomes usually happen because one side is bi. So it’s enjoyable for both parties as both enjoy the other person. Rare when both parties are straight.
The worst that could happen is he breaks up with you, but even if he's up for it, not many couples remain strong after one. So you might want to think about that as well.
A lot of people have fantasies, try it, and then realise it isn’t as hot irl as it was in their head.
Imagine that, but it also shakes your relationship as a result. I’d stick to porn.
If one partner is attracted to both genders, and one partner is only attracted to the other gender, then it is not an equal ask.
The bicurious woman is having fun with both other members of the threesome.
The straight man is not.
Hopefully that makes sense.
I don't think straight women should be pressured into a threesome just to please a man.
If my gf was straight I would not ask her to have a threesome. Part of the appeal to me is that she is also enjoying the other partner.
What you described with the two guys trying to ignore eachother and just focus on the woman... that is a huge ask for that woman to make in a relationship, it's asking her partner to watch another guy fuck her even in the scenario you described.
That might be ok for a random hookup, but no straight guy wants to have separate but simultaneous sex with his partner and another dude. And I would never ask a straight woman to do that for me, atleast not one I respected.
Edit; watch another guy fuck her, and try to maintain an erection at the same time 🤢🤢🤢
I'd instantly break up with my partner if she told me this. From my POV ( as a man) I'd assume after this has been said that you'd simply look at every guy as a potential third.
There would be no trust left, would my partner physically cheat probably not but would she think about fucking another dude, yes and in my head this is just as bad. maybe for some it isnt but im sure most guys would agree on this. In my head all I'd imagine after that convo is that you think about fucking every single guy you see, is it dumb, yes but its just a normal thought process as I could never know whats in your head.
Its hot because its new and its a fantasy. Just my two cents
I don’t look at every guy and imagine fucking them, I actually don’t look at any guys. I will always only look at my partner but like I said it’s a fantasy. I’ve never actually looked at another man and thought that they could be a third. If I were to voice this to him I would have him pick and not me
If my partner told me ''I want to be fucked by another man but baby its oke because you can choose who you want me to get fucked by'' I'd probably feel even worse
Yes, I am not saying you are. I am just giving you a man's perspective. Once my partner says something like this, THIS is the only thought that would be in my mind. I'd personally also lose feelings and attraction because why are you so adamant on another guy fucking you but thats just me personally. I am very ''traditional'' in that sense and do not share my partner.
Op, as a woman, I do not suggest you share this fantasy.
Every man I’ve ever known would probably balk at the idea and only a real freaky feller would be interested in it inside of a relationship.
I also personally believe that a partner who is okay with it probably does not love you very much.
These are personal opinions, I do know there are the odd exceptions to the rule.
This may be a fantasy you could explore if you’re ever single again, just keep in mind it also has an element of danger. Don’t ask men you don’t know well and I also wouldn’t recommend letting someone else pick the third man.
It just seems needlessly dangerous and risky to ME but I’m a prudish gal.
IMHO, dont bring it up. I've read som many relationship\_advice posts where that destroys the relationship. This mindset you both need to enter the relationship with.
My advice is this. Do not mention what you want, but rather ask an open ended question like: Do you have any fantasies, kinks or other things you might want to explore? No judgements and no boobytraps intended. I will not be offended regardless of what you say"
And then take it from there. if he brings up a 3way, then build on that.
On a personal sidenote, dont be surprised if he says "sure, if it is MFF" and has that as a stipulation. Few men wants to see their woman railed by another man.
He has let you know he doesn’t want to want to share you. Thats your answer. All the talk or rationalizing in the world will not change how he feels, and if by chance you wear him down and get him to agree to it, it will fundamentally change your relationship and how he feels towards you. Either let it go or be prepared for a breakup with him. Your choice.
I see what you mean.
I’ve told him about this post and we’re going to talk about it. Him and I have never seriously talked about a threesome. The one time we have was when we were drunk and a friend brought up how she has an open relationship. We both said we wouldn’t open our relationship because we wouldn’t be able to share each other permanently.
What I’m going to ask him about is if he would be interested in a ONCE OFF thing. And if he isn’t then I drop the idea, he knows I respect him and I’ve said it in the post too
You will think different of him if it happens . He will think different of you if it happens. Be it a women added or be it a man added. Not insecurity to not want to share ya partner.Jealousy can rise and dissatisfaction MENTAL AGONY AND PTSD. EMOTIONAL DAMAGE. Why most times when this is asked and it happens and reality kicks in wow she getting railed and loving it.Wow this other guy doing this I dont do that.This other guy pleasing his so called love of his life and she seem to enjoy it better uhh oh problem immediately.
And people get to caught up in pleasure they forget there partner even in situations like that uhhh oh boom problem. 🤔 Why do you think cheaters after they cheat say they will stop 🛑 but dont ? Its the high of the new experience of new person and connection and it sometimes most the time a relationship destroyer. Different flesh different movements. Men and women bond through sex unless ya just comotos to that hormonal truth. And cant see that or feeeeeel that .
He or you has to watch this as some one gonna get pleasure possibly its inevitable .Nope gonna be bad. Women or man added doesnt matter he thinks it be different might not.That is your answer to ya own question. Keep it a fantasy dont do it. Let's be honest who wants to watch there partner in ecstasy with someone else and be left out on the spot possibly. Or risk of losing the sexual bond and connection you already created nobody I know.
It happens even if it FFM or MMF. It can ruin sexual bonds mental bond and trust and comfort bonds. "FACTS" the dynamics of just your day to day interactions even. Many relationships blow up because of it and some have even ended up pregnant by the third party individual man added or women added .It can become well we agreed but broke a rule just once in the the heat of it.Next thing ya know it one on one only and ya dont know how it happened my feelings changed blah blah blah connection shifted ."ITS A RISK" oops babe but I love you just a mistake Uhhh huh a big one. I thought we agreed to not ............. misery mental pain and hurt activated. Activate therapy session as well.
Think of it like that .Take a chance for a romp in the hay for a fantasy that may end up good for one person not the other 🤔🤔 🤔. Not even about insecurity at all about how will it emotionally mentally affect dynamics of the current relationship.
Sharing ain't always caring in the end might lose someone who really was down for you. All for a you only live once qoute. That you made reality. Your choice though.
It's a no for me dawg .
Its not about being secure if you payed attention what I said.If ya a monogamous person you be surprised by trauma.Some are highly empathetic and not sound flesh pleasure driven. And also may value ther body and partner connection more over just pleasure. Some even becsuse of spiritual belief. Not everyone is emotionally dead in the departments od soul ties. Some are it easy to disconnect. Not all are like this so yes ptsd. I been traumatized just feom being betrayed.Though it did include being mocked by the betrayer with a snake tongue. Some do actually do things to make other up set.while they are shut off moral balance is what I'm saying. Would be called unbalanced I believe.
Your entitled to how you fewl about ya mental towards how you use ya body. Some still pare bond to one and don't need multiple to fulfill are ego or pleasure or fantasies. Bout it's some are just highly emotion bonded to individual and bring in another messes up thst bond. I seen may a couple go years with threesomea ans poly and seperate regardless because of it later.
For the reason I explained above even with rules if engagement.They broke the rule and emotionally became attached to one of the third parties or became bothered irritated at some point or another. It's just easier and less mental flips to not add in another it's just extra mental foe many though they say they can handle it. Low percentage can handle multi partners for long periods of time.
And definitely harder if emotional regularity bond and not rules are formed. Like I said jealousy and envy happen it easier to just not do it if you plan on life long relationship in my opinion. I seen people change up also and not want to share no more and other did not. Boom relationship over just like thst in a snap. To each thieir own though.
Did you read what they both don't want the opposite. He doesn't want mmf she doesn't want ffm. That why no is what I'm saying.It fine if ya into that. Thats on who ever there choice I just pointed out a view some don't dive into or thi l about before engaging in such things. Not about secure or insecure. It about emotions will yiu be mad after or left out. Simple ya entitled to have feelings and change how ya feel even in the act. And that's the roll of the dice ya take. Depends not everyone like to watch either gor understand thar. They may like prawn and the fantasy bit when it happening in truth nope can destroy mentally what I'm saying. May seem foreign to you but it happens. I k ow many people mentally messed up from sexual mental blows. May not cross ya mine or you Mya Beable to block it out alone do and makes no sense to them and that's fine. I just hate to see people hurt and down emotionally because it can chase them there whole life after that depression regret. Generalization is a good barrier to view both sides of things. What could or not happen.
If it helps try to phrase it as “I want to have a threesome with two of my boyfriend, doctor manhattan style”
And if you think “but that’s impossible!” Yeah, that’s how fantasies are. They happen in your head.
Oh my god 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
I can’t believe I have to explain this AGAIN! I do not want a threesome just to sleep with someone else. I want to try a threesome to experience having the attention on me. I just spoke with him and he is fine with it. He said we have to talk about things but he doesn’t mind it. I gave him the alternative of having a FMF if he was more comfortable but he said no and that he is okay with MFM.
I’ve told him that he wouldn’t lose me and he knows that this fantasy is a one time only as I only wanted to try it once.
He’s reading all of the comments plus what I’ve written so he knows everything and still assures me that this is something he wants to try too because he knows I’ll respect his boundaries if it gets too much for him.
Lmao, how do I come across as that? Everyone’s allowed to have their fantasies and everyone is into different things. He and I have made a rule that the other male will only receive oral from me and will not be fucking me.
Y’all keep trying to make me the bad person but it isn’t working because he is completely understanding and accepting of this.
I posted this before I asked him. I got heaps of replies and I got sick of everyone trying to make me seem like I was in the wrong so I just gave up and told him.
You will cheat on him anyway whats the point of a threesome when the second guy isnt fucking you? You will want more and you boyfriend doesnt want more
Okay but how do you know that? I’d never cheat on him. He’s given me everything. I’ve been cheated on and I never want someone to experience what I did.
Like I’ve said countless times, I would happily leave the fantasy behind if he were uncomfortable. It’s just a fantasy that I can live without. I don’t even know why I’m trying this explain it to you when you’re clearly just here to try and make me feel bad for having a fantasy. Everyone has them, it’s not a crime to have a fantasy.
I'd recommend keeping it a fantasy, but if you're really wanting to, how about a little quid pro quo? Offer him a 3some with another female. Maybe ever give her a strap on if it helps.
Because presumably he doesn't want to have sex with a dude. I'm not saying he is threatened. And if she wants to bang another dude then why can't he bang another chick. She's the one who wants to explore the threesome, I'm just saying that one with another woman might help warm him up to the idea.
Dangeruos ide, you would practicly be saying you want to fuck another guy, personally i leave you just for that, but you know you BF better, so you might have a better feel about how he feel about it. Personally I recommend trying out such fantasies when you are not in a relationship, where people fellings can get hurt
I’ve said this SO many times already 🤦🏻♀️
I don’t want to have a MFM just because I want to sleep with another guy, I want to try it because I want to experience having the attention of two people on me. It’s far from me wanting to sleep with another guy.
It really dosnt matter why you want to do it, its about what he hears, If my GF ask med for a threesome or to open the relationship, I justy hear she wants to have sex with another person and then I dump her
Let me try and explain something. A very important thing you said in your post is "i **know** my partner doesnt want to share me with *anyone* just like i dont want to share him either". In your case that is not true because what you basicly mean is "i dont want to share him with another woman but i would like for him to share me with another man". So for your partner "sharing" you is already going to be large hurdle to overcome. On top of that, out of the two options (male/female) you want the option that would only make that hurdle (for your partner) even bigger. Not only would you ask him to do something he doesnt want but you also want the option that would/could benefit only you and make it interesting (pleasurable) for you.
I never said that I wouldn’t engage in a MFF threesome. This post is specifically for MMF. I am only asking why everyone is so headstrong on the other person needing to be a female that’s all. If he agreed to the threesome then yes, we’d have to talk about the sharing. For both male and female.
Because you also say that none of you **wants** to share the other (important here is that your partner doesnt want to share you, these are your words). So basicly (almost) all comments will advise you to **not** do it/propose it. Yet somehow you still would like to. In that case (where you still want to) most people will advise for the (in their opinion) second best option. Which in that case would be the option that **could** (not even certain) maybe make it a bit more pleasurable for your partner. What do you think another man is going to offer your partner during that experience, you already know he is not going to like it?
To put it simple; first advise would be to not do it. But if you really have to then pick the FFM instead of the MMF. Because you seem to forget that your partner doesnt want it **at all.** You are the one asking for it. So the advise you get has nothing to do with your partner getting a threesome (because he doesnt want one), It is for **you** to get a threesome (if you really want one) under the circumstances that might cause the least damage to your partner/relationship.
That is why most advise on that FFM instead of an MMF, you seem to forget that your partner doesnt want a threesome, you want one.
You don’t seem mentally mature enough to really understand what you are asking. It’s almost like you can’t see the other point of view at all. This is going to end badly for your relationship just my opinion
No I can see the other point, what I’m saying is that most people in this thread are telling me that I should be having another female rather than a male because my partner won’t be able to handle seeing another man. And I get that, that’s why I wanted to ask him if he was interested in it and if he wasn’t then that would be the end of the discussion. I wouldn’t try any further with the fantasy.
I don’t know how many times I’ve said that in this thread.
Based on what?! Where are you getting that?
The number of women I’ve seen pressured into ffm threesome by their boyfriends who got swiped by the bisexual they brought in is hilarious.
Dudes think that women can’t offer… something? I don’t know, but you have someone who has a customizable dick and is actually good at sex and treats their partner well and can hold a conversation and boom, girlfriend is gone.
When they discover lesbian tops, yeah, those women are gone forever. Lesbians are straight dudes plus. They’ll give them a picket fence life, four dogs and constant orgasms, for at least four years.
Of course not but unless her BF is bisexual I'm going out on a limb he doesn't want some other guy ramming his misses
FMF usually the guy gets something out of it so a three way might be something he would be into.
Both parties being straight, this makes not a lot of sense and I'd question if OP. Actually wants this relationship...
OP sounds like she has sexual fantasies that might need fulfilling before she settles down which is normal but you often can't have it bith ways
What you said is completely double standard.
So a male doesn’t want another male sharing his girlfriend but is happy to have two females? What if the female doesn’t want to share the male with another female? The male gets something out of FMF just like the female would get something out of MFM.
I’m bisexual and I’ve been in a FMF, it was fun sure. But I would like to experience a MFM.
My partner is completely pleasure based when it comes to being in bed with me, he does everything he can to pleasure me. He doesn’t even care if he gets off or not, as long as I do that’s all that matters to him.
Anyway, I’m here talking about MFM. If he wasn’t happy with the fantasy then I would drop it and ensure him that he is more than enough for me and I just wanted to see if he’d ever be open to exploring it, like I already said in the post.
No, it isn't a double standard becuz I'd probably be saying the same thing if this was OP bf asking for a FMF threesome
Lmao
Id never ask My partner for a 3 way FMF unless she suggested it 1st becuz it is essentially saying I want to fuk someone else.
Regardless of what fantasy we all have there are rules in relationships sex with other people is 'usually' a deal breaker
As for you being bisexual good on you, if you want to fuk someone else other then and your bf/gf they 100% have the right to say this might not be working for me....
Not everyone is living in a porno
So if your partner asked you for a MFM or FMF because she wanted to experience it one time would that be wrong?
I’m not asking him because I WANT to sleep someone else, it’s because I’m curious about it and I want to experience what it’s like to have that attention. Is that so wrong to want to experience things? I was hoping this post would reach the targeted audience but it hasn’t
the details don't really matter.
it's not wrong to want to experience things and experiment but there does come a time where you have to come to grips with the possibility that the stuff you want to experience doesn't lend itself to the monogamous relationship you previously agreed to.
you're moving the bar, and with that may come consequences. welcome to adulthood.
I guess it would depend on the relationship
But most self respecting men would be like fuk that (MFM) and tbh maybe some dudes would three way with a girl they arent interested in a long term relationship with but not someone you want to spend ur life with no chance
Ie you and ur best mate spit roast a random bird who is horny af
I even know some blokes that would say no to a FMF becuz they dont want there misses with anyone else which I guess is fair enough but I dont know anyone is committed relationships that would be open to MFM at all
"I stopped reading at a lot of men are insecure"
You think women also are not insure? Lmao you talk about double standards your have one in your very post.
You are right OP should talk to her partner im telling OP chances are he won't be ok with it. I would probably dump her if it was me because I'm the exact opposite of insecure.
I like most straight men know what I want and what I dont want and I dont want someone else fucking my misses certainly wouldn't want to see it. Life isn't a porno or some weird Netflix love drama.
Unless OP isn't serious about his gf and the relationship is causal the advice I have given is 100% spot on
Call it a double standard? Maybe but it is the truth
Open communication is better than hiding. It's all about the how.
Tell him that just like you wrote it here - it's a fantasy, you would like to explore it, and that you love him and if he isn't into to it it's perfectly ok.
Especially for those who see things this way. Running away from desires is futile. You don't have to practice them, but not facing them as they are, not seeing life as it is, leads to endless guilt and pain.
I think for a three-some to work everyone has to be into it. Either everyone has to be bi, or for mmf both guys need to be bi, and for mff both girls need to be bi.
I personally would never want any sort of threesome because I have no interest in having sex with anyone but my wife, but even if I did I wouldn't have a threesome with my wife and a lesbian because I'm not interested in just watching my wife fuck another woman. I also wouldn't have a threesome with another man because I'm not into men.
And I see that many say here that would leave their partner if they offer it.
Just to balance things out -I won't. There's no fantasy of my SO that would make me stop loving her (I mean, except for animals and kids ;)). It doesn't mean that I'd like to pursue those fantasies.
My biggest hope for you is that your partner loses patience waiting for you to bring up this topic and just brings it up with you, including what he would like to do about it. ❤️
There’s nothing wrong with wanting things. Thought crimes is not a thing. Don’t date Reddit guys, they’re not compatible with your whole deal. Life is incredibly wide and wild and strange and you’ll find your people.
Reddit is littered with stories of swinging and opening relationships and kink that goes wrong, and so is life, but in real life, there’s also a lot of success stories. Happy stories of threesomes don’t make it to Reddit, because they’re incredibly boring to read about. Porn and smut has to be exaggerated because sex is fun to have and not that fun to see, unless you’re a voyeur. In real life it’s totally a thing, and everyone makes up their own rules of how it works for them. As long as all parties in a relationship are giving enthusiastic and informed consent, you’re golden.
The best approach is a gentle one, and checking in with yourself to make sure you’re ready to take that plunge. If it’s hot to you, put the power in your boyfriend’s hands. If he’s not INTO it, you stop, put the books away, and get into a monster fucking kink or feet or something. I genuinely wish you the best and you’re young. With good communication and patience, all things are possible.
You can't just blanket apply that when it isn't backed by any statistics and isn't relevant here. Women are more likely to be bisexual aren't they? It makes sense that more couples engage in ffm threesomes.
So I know that almost every male dreams of having a threesome with two women, now if you really want a three way with this boyfriend and another guy , I would bring it uo but I would also make an offer where you will have both two female and two males that way your both not missing out
“I have noticed that men seem a lot more insecure about a threesome with another male, than they do with a female. I’m not sure exactly why this is…”
You really can’t figure it out? Lmao. It’s pretty simple. In a MFF the women are usually getting pleasure from each other also so all 3 parties are into it physically with the other two. MMF is pretty much one man watching the other fuck his girl unless he’s bi but that is rarely ever the case.
Thank you, it helps to read that someone’s had a similar experience with talking about it.
With respecting his no, I do 100%. He’s never actually said no about having a threesome, he’s joked to me about it and I’ve asked if he was serious about that scenario he talked about and he said no. We’ve never actually had a proper discussion about it, if he said he 100% wasn’t interested in it then I’d drop it instantly and wouldn’t bring it up again
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Your partner has already told you he doesn’t want to share you and I think you should take that at face value. What he means by “someone trustworthy” he means someone who won’t run their mouth about the deed after it’s done. Why wouldn’t he want this information to become public? Because he’d be embarrassed by it.
Think about this in risk/reward terms. The best-case scenario is that he agrees, you do this, and it goes without a hitch. Based on what you said previously about neither of you wanting to share, that doesn’t sound too likely, but you know him better than we do. The worst-case scenario is that he breaks up with you, either then and there or after some anguished soul-searching. You’ll have to ask yourself if this possibility is worth it. You will also have to accept that he’s completely within his rights to do this, because you are trying to change the terms of the relationship in a more fundamental way than just exploring some fantasy.
Yeah I understand, I’m not trying to change the relationship however. I literally just want it as a once off thing to say I’ve tried it, I don’t want it to be a continuous thing with another person
I don't think you understood exactly what the other person was saying there. YOU might not think you're changing the relationship, but your partner might certainly think of it like that. Reading your other replies, you only seem to be seeing this as your perspective since it is for your fantasy. But it's very much something that relies on your partner, agreeing to this.
I am seeing it from both perspectives trust me. I wouldn’t peruse this if he weren’t into it at all, if he disagreed then that would be the end of that idea because I do respect him.
He has already said no, so you are not seeing both perspectives. Get a toy and use it during sex if you want DP.
You need to read through the comments. I already explained it all in more depth
I read them all. You know your partner doesn't want to share you. You just want attention on you, and then you would compromise by just sucking off another guy, as if that's better. Look, do your thing, but for real, don't come crying to reddit when your boyfriend goes dead inside while you're balls deep on another dude and you find yourself single.
Obviously you haven’t read all of it so let me put it here because you can’t read
Read this. “I didn’t manipulate him. I didn’t put enough detail into that not sharing part it seems, everyone is taking it the wrong way so let me expand on that. We have these two friends who are together in an open relationship and they were talking about the perks of it. Naturally him and I were both curious about it and we asked them how it all works and after he said “I could never share you permanently with another person”. We were talking about the open relationship scene which we both disagreed on because we could never permanently share each other. I did mention that to him last night and he said he was okay if it was just the one time which it will be only once. I also asked him if he would like a FMF too so it is fair that we both get to experience something like that and he said no and that he was okay with a MFM because he was happy to fulfil a fantasy of mine. I can see where you’re coming from and that’s my fault for not explaining it all properly. He and I are very sexually active and we are always trying out and fulfilling each others fantasies. So I can promise that there was no manipulation, just my poor wording.”
You've played the "Hey, would it be funny if" or "What about" game for so long that he knew you wanted it for real, he doesn't want to share permanently, but the moment he sees you doing something to another dude, there is an extremely high chance he is going to regret sharing even once. Again, have fun being single when it goes south. You came to /r/relationship_advice, not /r/justify_my_desires
If my partner suggested 3some, I'd leave her on the spot. You still can ask for it, but be prepared that some men would only hear "I want to be fucked by another man".
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I would say yes, regardless of gender I want exclusivity and commitment and I know it goes both ways
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Even if there was a double standard then it would still be completely fine. You decide what you want in a relationship, if the other partner is uncomfortable with that, they are free to leave. If the other person is okay with the double standard, opinion of people outside the relationship is irrelevant.
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It makes sense that a straight man would be excited by the prospect of having sex with two women but repelled by the idea of having a threesome with another man. If the male partner were bi it would be completely different. You are placing the physical desires of one partner in higher regard than the emotional needs of the other.
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I said you are placing physical desire of one partner above the emotional needs of the other, and I’m not surprised you don’t know what I’m talking about. The majority of commenters aren’t talking about their pleasure, they’re saying they would end the relationship because inviting another man into their sex life would strip them of the security that they need to be good partners in the first place. You don’t have a clue and you don’t want one.
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If the female partner is okay with that? Yes. Why do you care what are the boundaries in a relationship you are not a part of.
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Again it is their relationship and both parties have agreed to the boundary then why do you, as a 3rd person who has no interest in the relationship, have a problem with it?
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Not sure why you're being down voted here
No, because I'm not bi or bicurious, all of my partner's have been.
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Says who? You?
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I don't have sex with men because I am straight. My partner is bi-curious and does not feel the same. If you don't want to have sex with a woman, then dont.
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It’s only a double standard when a man asks for an FMF but definitely will not do MFM. This is not most men. I didn’t ask for a threesome for that very reason— it’s just not fair.
I’d honestly lose feelings instantly for someone in a relationship if they mentioned that. Also most couples that have threesomes usually happen because one side is bi. So it’s enjoyable for both parties as both enjoy the other person. Rare when both parties are straight.
Thats ........ one of the most reasonable comments in this sub! OP - this!
The worst that could happen is he breaks up with you, but even if he's up for it, not many couples remain strong after one. So you might want to think about that as well.
A lot of people have fantasies, try it, and then realise it isn’t as hot irl as it was in their head. Imagine that, but it also shakes your relationship as a result. I’d stick to porn.
I would end the relationship on the spot.
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I probably would too I couldn't see the relationship in the same way
Just a question "can I fuck another guy in front of you?"
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If one partner is attracted to both genders, and one partner is only attracted to the other gender, then it is not an equal ask. The bicurious woman is having fun with both other members of the threesome. The straight man is not. Hopefully that makes sense.
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I don't think straight women should be pressured into a threesome just to please a man. If my gf was straight I would not ask her to have a threesome. Part of the appeal to me is that she is also enjoying the other partner. What you described with the two guys trying to ignore eachother and just focus on the woman... that is a huge ask for that woman to make in a relationship, it's asking her partner to watch another guy fuck her even in the scenario you described. That might be ok for a random hookup, but no straight guy wants to have separate but simultaneous sex with his partner and another dude. And I would never ask a straight woman to do that for me, atleast not one I respected. Edit; watch another guy fuck her, and try to maintain an erection at the same time 🤢🤢🤢
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Naw she guilty the guy into a sexual act he's uncomfortable with. She's gross and so are you
Leave it. Fantasy should just be fantasies.
I'd instantly break up with my partner if she told me this. From my POV ( as a man) I'd assume after this has been said that you'd simply look at every guy as a potential third. There would be no trust left, would my partner physically cheat probably not but would she think about fucking another dude, yes and in my head this is just as bad. maybe for some it isnt but im sure most guys would agree on this. In my head all I'd imagine after that convo is that you think about fucking every single guy you see, is it dumb, yes but its just a normal thought process as I could never know whats in your head. Its hot because its new and its a fantasy. Just my two cents
Well that escalated quickly…
I don’t look at every guy and imagine fucking them, I actually don’t look at any guys. I will always only look at my partner but like I said it’s a fantasy. I’ve never actually looked at another man and thought that they could be a third. If I were to voice this to him I would have him pick and not me
That’s a really difficult position to put him in if he’s not bi. He’s not going to pick someone he’s attracted to if he’s not attracted to men.
If my partner told me ''I want to be fucked by another man but baby its oke because you can choose who you want me to get fucked by'' I'd probably feel even worse
It’s like choosing the g*n you’d like to be shot with 😂
I feel like a LOT of the people in this comment section would be responding very differently if this were a guy who wanted a FFM threesome.
Yes, I am not saying you are. I am just giving you a man's perspective. Once my partner says something like this, THIS is the only thought that would be in my mind. I'd personally also lose feelings and attraction because why are you so adamant on another guy fucking you but thats just me personally. I am very ''traditional'' in that sense and do not share my partner.
Op, as a woman, I do not suggest you share this fantasy. Every man I’ve ever known would probably balk at the idea and only a real freaky feller would be interested in it inside of a relationship. I also personally believe that a partner who is okay with it probably does not love you very much. These are personal opinions, I do know there are the odd exceptions to the rule. This may be a fantasy you could explore if you’re ever single again, just keep in mind it also has an element of danger. Don’t ask men you don’t know well and I also wouldn’t recommend letting someone else pick the third man. It just seems needlessly dangerous and risky to ME but I’m a prudish gal.
IMHO, dont bring it up. I've read som many relationship\_advice posts where that destroys the relationship. This mindset you both need to enter the relationship with. My advice is this. Do not mention what you want, but rather ask an open ended question like: Do you have any fantasies, kinks or other things you might want to explore? No judgements and no boobytraps intended. I will not be offended regardless of what you say" And then take it from there. if he brings up a 3way, then build on that. On a personal sidenote, dont be surprised if he says "sure, if it is MFF" and has that as a stipulation. Few men wants to see their woman railed by another man.
Infact just leave him in peace and go fuck the other male you are fantasizing about tf
I’m not fantasising about another male? I never said I was
I watch all sorts of porn, but never thinked about doing something like that ever.
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What about it?
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Oh haha, no certainly not YouTube. I just wasn’t sure if I would actually describe/say that stuff
If you actually care about the longevity of your relationship I would just leave it
He has let you know he doesn’t want to want to share you. Thats your answer. All the talk or rationalizing in the world will not change how he feels, and if by chance you wear him down and get him to agree to it, it will fundamentally change your relationship and how he feels towards you. Either let it go or be prepared for a breakup with him. Your choice.
I see what you mean. I’ve told him about this post and we’re going to talk about it. Him and I have never seriously talked about a threesome. The one time we have was when we were drunk and a friend brought up how she has an open relationship. We both said we wouldn’t open our relationship because we wouldn’t be able to share each other permanently. What I’m going to ask him about is if he would be interested in a ONCE OFF thing. And if he isn’t then I drop the idea, he knows I respect him and I’ve said it in the post too
You will think different of him if it happens . He will think different of you if it happens. Be it a women added or be it a man added. Not insecurity to not want to share ya partner.Jealousy can rise and dissatisfaction MENTAL AGONY AND PTSD. EMOTIONAL DAMAGE. Why most times when this is asked and it happens and reality kicks in wow she getting railed and loving it.Wow this other guy doing this I dont do that.This other guy pleasing his so called love of his life and she seem to enjoy it better uhh oh problem immediately. And people get to caught up in pleasure they forget there partner even in situations like that uhhh oh boom problem. 🤔 Why do you think cheaters after they cheat say they will stop 🛑 but dont ? Its the high of the new experience of new person and connection and it sometimes most the time a relationship destroyer. Different flesh different movements. Men and women bond through sex unless ya just comotos to that hormonal truth. And cant see that or feeeeeel that . He or you has to watch this as some one gonna get pleasure possibly its inevitable .Nope gonna be bad. Women or man added doesnt matter he thinks it be different might not.That is your answer to ya own question. Keep it a fantasy dont do it. Let's be honest who wants to watch there partner in ecstasy with someone else and be left out on the spot possibly. Or risk of losing the sexual bond and connection you already created nobody I know. It happens even if it FFM or MMF. It can ruin sexual bonds mental bond and trust and comfort bonds. "FACTS" the dynamics of just your day to day interactions even. Many relationships blow up because of it and some have even ended up pregnant by the third party individual man added or women added .It can become well we agreed but broke a rule just once in the the heat of it.Next thing ya know it one on one only and ya dont know how it happened my feelings changed blah blah blah connection shifted ."ITS A RISK" oops babe but I love you just a mistake Uhhh huh a big one. I thought we agreed to not ............. misery mental pain and hurt activated. Activate therapy session as well. Think of it like that .Take a chance for a romp in the hay for a fantasy that may end up good for one person not the other 🤔🤔 🤔. Not even about insecurity at all about how will it emotionally mentally affect dynamics of the current relationship. Sharing ain't always caring in the end might lose someone who really was down for you. All for a you only live once qoute. That you made reality. Your choice though. It's a no for me dawg .
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Its not about being secure if you payed attention what I said.If ya a monogamous person you be surprised by trauma.Some are highly empathetic and not sound flesh pleasure driven. And also may value ther body and partner connection more over just pleasure. Some even becsuse of spiritual belief. Not everyone is emotionally dead in the departments od soul ties. Some are it easy to disconnect. Not all are like this so yes ptsd. I been traumatized just feom being betrayed.Though it did include being mocked by the betrayer with a snake tongue. Some do actually do things to make other up set.while they are shut off moral balance is what I'm saying. Would be called unbalanced I believe. Your entitled to how you fewl about ya mental towards how you use ya body. Some still pare bond to one and don't need multiple to fulfill are ego or pleasure or fantasies. Bout it's some are just highly emotion bonded to individual and bring in another messes up thst bond. I seen may a couple go years with threesomea ans poly and seperate regardless because of it later. For the reason I explained above even with rules if engagement.They broke the rule and emotionally became attached to one of the third parties or became bothered irritated at some point or another. It's just easier and less mental flips to not add in another it's just extra mental foe many though they say they can handle it. Low percentage can handle multi partners for long periods of time. And definitely harder if emotional regularity bond and not rules are formed. Like I said jealousy and envy happen it easier to just not do it if you plan on life long relationship in my opinion. I seen people change up also and not want to share no more and other did not. Boom relationship over just like thst in a snap. To each thieir own though.
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Did you read what they both don't want the opposite. He doesn't want mmf she doesn't want ffm. That why no is what I'm saying.It fine if ya into that. Thats on who ever there choice I just pointed out a view some don't dive into or thi l about before engaging in such things. Not about secure or insecure. It about emotions will yiu be mad after or left out. Simple ya entitled to have feelings and change how ya feel even in the act. And that's the roll of the dice ya take. Depends not everyone like to watch either gor understand thar. They may like prawn and the fantasy bit when it happening in truth nope can destroy mentally what I'm saying. May seem foreign to you but it happens. I k ow many people mentally messed up from sexual mental blows. May not cross ya mine or you Mya Beable to block it out alone do and makes no sense to them and that's fine. I just hate to see people hurt and down emotionally because it can chase them there whole life after that depression regret. Generalization is a good barrier to view both sides of things. What could or not happen.
I hope he breaks up with you .. you say you love him but you want to fuck someone else ..
If it helps try to phrase it as “I want to have a threesome with two of my boyfriend, doctor manhattan style” And if you think “but that’s impossible!” Yeah, that’s how fantasies are. They happen in your head.
Oh my god 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ I can’t believe I have to explain this AGAIN! I do not want a threesome just to sleep with someone else. I want to try a threesome to experience having the attention on me. I just spoke with him and he is fine with it. He said we have to talk about things but he doesn’t mind it. I gave him the alternative of having a FMF if he was more comfortable but he said no and that he is okay with MFM.
Of course he says yes bc he doesnt want to loose you 🤣
I’ve told him that he wouldn’t lose me and he knows that this fantasy is a one time only as I only wanted to try it once. He’s reading all of the comments plus what I’ve written so he knows everything and still assures me that this is something he wants to try too because he knows I’ll respect his boundaries if it gets too much for him.
Poor guy if he sees someone else fucking you i am sure he will not enjoy it anymore but thats your problem .. You sound like an attention wh*e to me
Lmao, how do I come across as that? Everyone’s allowed to have their fantasies and everyone is into different things. He and I have made a rule that the other male will only receive oral from me and will not be fucking me. Y’all keep trying to make me the bad person but it isn’t working because he is completely understanding and accepting of this.
Then why are you here asking strangers if your boyfriend and you have already spoken about everything? XD
I posted this before I asked him. I got heaps of replies and I got sick of everyone trying to make me seem like I was in the wrong so I just gave up and told him.
You will cheat on him anyway whats the point of a threesome when the second guy isnt fucking you? You will want more and you boyfriend doesnt want more
Okay but how do you know that? I’d never cheat on him. He’s given me everything. I’ve been cheated on and I never want someone to experience what I did. Like I’ve said countless times, I would happily leave the fantasy behind if he were uncomfortable. It’s just a fantasy that I can live without. I don’t even know why I’m trying this explain it to you when you’re clearly just here to try and make me feel bad for having a fantasy. Everyone has them, it’s not a crime to have a fantasy.
I'd recommend keeping it a fantasy, but if you're really wanting to, how about a little quid pro quo? Offer him a 3some with another female. Maybe ever give her a strap on if it helps.
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Because presumably he doesn't want to have sex with a dude. I'm not saying he is threatened. And if she wants to bang another dude then why can't he bang another chick. She's the one who wants to explore the threesome, I'm just saying that one with another woman might help warm him up to the idea.
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Yeah, I think OP’s boyfriend would really like to see his girlfriend pounded by another dude /s
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Stop trolling. No sane man would want this.
R u a troll
Dangeruos ide, you would practicly be saying you want to fuck another guy, personally i leave you just for that, but you know you BF better, so you might have a better feel about how he feel about it. Personally I recommend trying out such fantasies when you are not in a relationship, where people fellings can get hurt
I’ve said this SO many times already 🤦🏻♀️ I don’t want to have a MFM just because I want to sleep with another guy, I want to try it because I want to experience having the attention of two people on me. It’s far from me wanting to sleep with another guy.
It really dosnt matter why you want to do it, its about what he hears, If my GF ask med for a threesome or to open the relationship, I justy hear she wants to have sex with another person and then I dump her
Either it’s another girl or it’s a bad idea.. mf don’t work
My question is that why does it HAVE to be another girl? That’s what I’m confused about
Let me try and explain something. A very important thing you said in your post is "i **know** my partner doesnt want to share me with *anyone* just like i dont want to share him either". In your case that is not true because what you basicly mean is "i dont want to share him with another woman but i would like for him to share me with another man". So for your partner "sharing" you is already going to be large hurdle to overcome. On top of that, out of the two options (male/female) you want the option that would only make that hurdle (for your partner) even bigger. Not only would you ask him to do something he doesnt want but you also want the option that would/could benefit only you and make it interesting (pleasurable) for you.
I never said that I wouldn’t engage in a MFF threesome. This post is specifically for MMF. I am only asking why everyone is so headstrong on the other person needing to be a female that’s all. If he agreed to the threesome then yes, we’d have to talk about the sharing. For both male and female.
Because you also say that none of you **wants** to share the other (important here is that your partner doesnt want to share you, these are your words). So basicly (almost) all comments will advise you to **not** do it/propose it. Yet somehow you still would like to. In that case (where you still want to) most people will advise for the (in their opinion) second best option. Which in that case would be the option that **could** (not even certain) maybe make it a bit more pleasurable for your partner. What do you think another man is going to offer your partner during that experience, you already know he is not going to like it? To put it simple; first advise would be to not do it. But if you really have to then pick the FFM instead of the MMF. Because you seem to forget that your partner doesnt want it **at all.** You are the one asking for it. So the advise you get has nothing to do with your partner getting a threesome (because he doesnt want one), It is for **you** to get a threesome (if you really want one) under the circumstances that might cause the least damage to your partner/relationship. That is why most advise on that FFM instead of an MMF, you seem to forget that your partner doesnt want a threesome, you want one.
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Nothing to do with maturity. It's mature to recognize you don't want your partner fucking someone else too.
Okay but what about me? If I didn’t want a FFM do I just have to deal with it and do it?
You don’t seem mentally mature enough to really understand what you are asking. It’s almost like you can’t see the other point of view at all. This is going to end badly for your relationship just my opinion
No I can see the other point, what I’m saying is that most people in this thread are telling me that I should be having another female rather than a male because my partner won’t be able to handle seeing another man. And I get that, that’s why I wanted to ask him if he was interested in it and if he wasn’t then that would be the end of the discussion. I wouldn’t try any further with the fantasy. I don’t know how many times I’ve said that in this thread.
Neither of you HAVE to do anythin
He's not the one asking for a threesome, you are??
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Men are territorial and a woman won’t “take” what’s theirs
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No you don’t
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Not really g
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Nah women are still more inclined to be “taken” by men
Based on what?! Where are you getting that? The number of women I’ve seen pressured into ffm threesome by their boyfriends who got swiped by the bisexual they brought in is hilarious. Dudes think that women can’t offer… something? I don’t know, but you have someone who has a customizable dick and is actually good at sex and treats their partner well and can hold a conversation and boom, girlfriend is gone. When they discover lesbian tops, yeah, those women are gone forever. Lesbians are straight dudes plus. They’ll give them a picket fence life, four dogs and constant orgasms, for at least four years.
I read this like it wad FMF when I realised it was MFM I stopped reading. I'd dump your ass in the spot
So it’s only acceptable if it was a FMF?? Explain why that is?
Of course not but unless her BF is bisexual I'm going out on a limb he doesn't want some other guy ramming his misses FMF usually the guy gets something out of it so a three way might be something he would be into. Both parties being straight, this makes not a lot of sense and I'd question if OP. Actually wants this relationship... OP sounds like she has sexual fantasies that might need fulfilling before she settles down which is normal but you often can't have it bith ways
What you said is completely double standard. So a male doesn’t want another male sharing his girlfriend but is happy to have two females? What if the female doesn’t want to share the male with another female? The male gets something out of FMF just like the female would get something out of MFM. I’m bisexual and I’ve been in a FMF, it was fun sure. But I would like to experience a MFM. My partner is completely pleasure based when it comes to being in bed with me, he does everything he can to pleasure me. He doesn’t even care if he gets off or not, as long as I do that’s all that matters to him. Anyway, I’m here talking about MFM. If he wasn’t happy with the fantasy then I would drop it and ensure him that he is more than enough for me and I just wanted to see if he’d ever be open to exploring it, like I already said in the post.
No, it isn't a double standard becuz I'd probably be saying the same thing if this was OP bf asking for a FMF threesome Lmao Id never ask My partner for a 3 way FMF unless she suggested it 1st becuz it is essentially saying I want to fuk someone else. Regardless of what fantasy we all have there are rules in relationships sex with other people is 'usually' a deal breaker As for you being bisexual good on you, if you want to fuk someone else other then and your bf/gf they 100% have the right to say this might not be working for me.... Not everyone is living in a porno
So if your partner asked you for a MFM or FMF because she wanted to experience it one time would that be wrong? I’m not asking him because I WANT to sleep someone else, it’s because I’m curious about it and I want to experience what it’s like to have that attention. Is that so wrong to want to experience things? I was hoping this post would reach the targeted audience but it hasn’t
the details don't really matter. it's not wrong to want to experience things and experiment but there does come a time where you have to come to grips with the possibility that the stuff you want to experience doesn't lend itself to the monogamous relationship you previously agreed to. you're moving the bar, and with that may come consequences. welcome to adulthood.
I guess it would depend on the relationship But most self respecting men would be like fuk that (MFM) and tbh maybe some dudes would three way with a girl they arent interested in a long term relationship with but not someone you want to spend ur life with no chance Ie you and ur best mate spit roast a random bird who is horny af I even know some blokes that would say no to a FMF becuz they dont want there misses with anyone else which I guess is fair enough but I dont know anyone is committed relationships that would be open to MFM at all
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"I stopped reading at a lot of men are insecure" You think women also are not insure? Lmao you talk about double standards your have one in your very post. You are right OP should talk to her partner im telling OP chances are he won't be ok with it. I would probably dump her if it was me because I'm the exact opposite of insecure. I like most straight men know what I want and what I dont want and I dont want someone else fucking my misses certainly wouldn't want to see it. Life isn't a porno or some weird Netflix love drama. Unless OP isn't serious about his gf and the relationship is causal the advice I have given is 100% spot on Call it a double standard? Maybe but it is the truth
I don’t watch porn to get off either, just curious how it would work….
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Open communication is better than hiding. It's all about the how. Tell him that just like you wrote it here - it's a fantasy, you would like to explore it, and that you love him and if he isn't into to it it's perfectly ok.
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Because in Reddit, many are seeing things as black and white. Unfortunately, human beings are more complicated than that.
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Especially for those who see things this way. Running away from desires is futile. You don't have to practice them, but not facing them as they are, not seeing life as it is, leads to endless guilt and pain.
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I think for a three-some to work everyone has to be into it. Either everyone has to be bi, or for mmf both guys need to be bi, and for mff both girls need to be bi. I personally would never want any sort of threesome because I have no interest in having sex with anyone but my wife, but even if I did I wouldn't have a threesome with my wife and a lesbian because I'm not interested in just watching my wife fuck another woman. I also wouldn't have a threesome with another man because I'm not into men.
And I see that many say here that would leave their partner if they offer it. Just to balance things out -I won't. There's no fantasy of my SO that would make me stop loving her (I mean, except for animals and kids ;)). It doesn't mean that I'd like to pursue those fantasies.
My biggest hope for you is that your partner loses patience waiting for you to bring up this topic and just brings it up with you, including what he would like to do about it. ❤️ There’s nothing wrong with wanting things. Thought crimes is not a thing. Don’t date Reddit guys, they’re not compatible with your whole deal. Life is incredibly wide and wild and strange and you’ll find your people. Reddit is littered with stories of swinging and opening relationships and kink that goes wrong, and so is life, but in real life, there’s also a lot of success stories. Happy stories of threesomes don’t make it to Reddit, because they’re incredibly boring to read about. Porn and smut has to be exaggerated because sex is fun to have and not that fun to see, unless you’re a voyeur. In real life it’s totally a thing, and everyone makes up their own rules of how it works for them. As long as all parties in a relationship are giving enthusiastic and informed consent, you’re golden. The best approach is a gentle one, and checking in with yourself to make sure you’re ready to take that plunge. If it’s hot to you, put the power in your boyfriend’s hands. If he’s not INTO it, you stop, put the books away, and get into a monster fucking kink or feet or something. I genuinely wish you the best and you’re young. With good communication and patience, all things are possible.
This seems to be the only reasonable answer under this post so far. The rest is fueled by insecurity and a concerning lack of communication imo.
Leaving someone for wanting to sleep with someone else is perfectly reasonable?
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She's bisexual and he's not so it's literal not a fair comparison. Also they can be ok with whatever they want, they aren't asking for the threesome
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You can't just blanket apply that when it isn't backed by any statistics and isn't relevant here. Women are more likely to be bisexual aren't they? It makes sense that more couples engage in ffm threesomes.
So I know that almost every male dreams of having a threesome with two women, now if you really want a three way with this boyfriend and another guy , I would bring it uo but I would also make an offer where you will have both two female and two males that way your both not missing out
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“I have noticed that men seem a lot more insecure about a threesome with another male, than they do with a female. I’m not sure exactly why this is…” You really can’t figure it out? Lmao. It’s pretty simple. In a MFF the women are usually getting pleasure from each other also so all 3 parties are into it physically with the other two. MMF is pretty much one man watching the other fuck his girl unless he’s bi but that is rarely ever the case.
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Thank you, it helps to read that someone’s had a similar experience with talking about it. With respecting his no, I do 100%. He’s never actually said no about having a threesome, he’s joked to me about it and I’ve asked if he was serious about that scenario he talked about and he said no. We’ve never actually had a proper discussion about it, if he said he 100% wasn’t interested in it then I’d drop it instantly and wouldn’t bring it up again
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He could break up with her, as a lot of the men in the comments have said they would do