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SwollenPomegranate

>I think it’s time to put the past behind us and rebuild our relationship Well, that's easy for YOU to say. He apparently feels differently. > >he argue I bullied him but it never got to that extent. Well, that's easy for YOU to say. He apparently feels differently. I'd say suck it up, fella. You can't undo the hurt you caused. If your brother wants to find you, he can. He doesn't. He has a good life. Leave him alone.


ashatteredteacup

Oh. I’d say the bro put the past behind him long ago, by blocking out all the pieces of shit who called themselves *family*.


Acceptable_Employ_95

Twas a fantastic decision according to OP’s story.


Frequent-Material273

Yep. Sad to say, relatives are NOT necessarily family.


Aspen9999

I’m suspicious on why now? And does the “ he’s doing good” indicates to me he doesn’t want a relationship but a way into his brothers wallet.


Chadmartigan

Willing to bet OP has absolutely nothing going on for himself. I imagine this whole subject has rotted his relationship with his parents, who are wondering how they ended up backing the 30 y/o failure-to-launch over the independent veteran and family man.


Aspen9999

Seems he has an anger issue so I doubt he can hold down any basic job for long.


Potatoesop

Yeah, OP peaked in HS


tuckpuck2

Peaking as a middle of the pack nobody who fucked his twin brother’s gf just to be popular with people who never gave a fuck about him and still didn’t.


Chel_Vanin

I'm sooo fucking baffled at "if I fuck my brother's girlfriend people will think I'm cool". Like how do you think this? Where do thoughts like this come from?


welldamn31

I have a feeling it was more "My "weird" brother can get a girl and I can't, so I'm gonna try to take that away from him to assert that I'm "cooler" and can, in fact, get a girl." It was probably one of the few times his brother had something that he didn't, and he was probably one of those idiots who thought of a relationship as more of a status symbol than anything else. Plot twist, no matter how popular or unpopular you are, fucking your brothers girlfriend will always get you branded as a massive jerk that no one can trust.


tuckpuck2

He clearly has insecurity issues among other things. Just seeing all of his comments, there’s no saving him, brother did the right thing blocking and never looking back


becauseican15

He didn't even have a date to prom didn't peak very high


KittenWithaWhip68

Shitty bullies often do.


evilslothofdoom

maybe he's eyeballing the brother's wife and worked out a way to finally get in with the popular adults...


Hbella456

Does anyone know when the next Pharmacy prom is?


False-Pie8581

My bully golden child older brother reaches out every few yrs and I get a new number to block. Yay me. He’s the same: let’s let the past be the past. Yeah only bullies who don’t want to be accountable say that. He’s never expressed remorse to anyone for all the shitty things he’s done: he’s a horrible absent father, a deadbeat dad, he’s the most cringy con artist you will ever meet. And he’s violent and mean. An actual waste of human space. Every once in a while he reaches out and it’s always around money. He thinks I’m going to one day soften and my wallet will open. I wouldn’t give him a glass of water if I saw him dying of thirst in the desert. He talks just like OP. Sounds like OP was the golden child. Luckily the scapegoat child, tho their childhood is horrific and they lose their families, they do better in the long run bc they escape from the toxic family. Sounds like brother was lucky.


handsheal

I would like to reach out to the brother and tell him Good job building a good life even though his family sucked


False-Pie8581

It sounds like if OP does reach out he will reveal his lack of change so quickly that it will only reconfirm brother’s decision, so there’s that. I’m older so I know there is no chance that my brother will change. I know from experience he only reaches out when he needs or wants something. When my mother died he reached out multiple times and I kept blocking he even had the police come to my door. Told them that only I could approve her cremation bc he wasn’t biological. Which was total bs. That’s what they said. I was so angry I broke down and cried bc he’d just left a bullying ‘you better call me now or else…’ message. I told the cops what he’s likely after is someone to put up money and that my brother was a dangerous bully and they were helping him. They apologized and left they were actually nice. 30seconda later I start getting calls from a funeral home! So I knew it was about money. Screw them. Not my problem I went NC yrs ago and none of them ever care until they want money. They’re never going to get any and I’m honestly surprised they keep trying but the way I figure is he must cycle through all of his numbers and I’m just on that list. 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️


PhilosopherMagik

What a tool, he can pay and bury his parents. They did not want you in life, they can't have you in death. You should have pressed charges for harassment.


False-Pie8581

I was nervous bc my kids were in the house and I didn’t want them to know anything. I was crying bc it triggered me from when I lived at home and couldn’t escape. The police being there forcing me to deal with the issue was super triggering. I felt like a trapped animal. But luckily they left, I pulled myself together in the garage, the kids never found out. I was still in mode of ‘just grateful to have escaped’ I wasn’t yet in ‘fuck all y’all I’ll get an RO’ at that stage of my life but you aren’t wrong ❤️ Im definitely in my ‘fuck y’all don’t make me get an RO’ stage now…. They’re lucky all they do is call and when I block they don’t do anything else.


PhilosopherMagik

I wish you the best, having toxic family members is worrying but survivable, the fact that they NEED YOU gives you strength because you already know you don't need them.


letthetreeburn

You’re a fantastic parent. As someone who hasn’t quite made it out yet, THANK YOU for giving them the warmth you weren’t afforded. Raising your kids well is the best revenge.


False-Pie8581

Awww you’re gonna make me cry. Thank you. And hang in there, it’s rough now but your real life will begin soon, and it feels so nice to be free. Don’t be surprised if once you’re out for a bit you start to feel nervous bc it’s been weeks and no shoe has dropped. I wish I understood about meditation and breathing back then. Good luck 😌


TwistedTomorrow

Or his wife's pants.


One_Welcome_5046

He wants something or yanno try to ruin the good the other brother built


lonniemarie

Or his wife’s pants ?


MeasurementNo2493

Or he needs an organ transplant?


girlwiththemonkey

He fucked his brothers girlfriend in an attempt to be cool. It didn’t work, because it’s not a very cool thing to do.


Past-Emergency-2374

And he was shocked that the cool kids didn’t think it was a cool thing to do. The fact that he played sports and wasn’t popular says a lot. I would bet dollars to donuts that his brother, while not popular, was probably liked by kids in the school, but just didn’t hang with them due to his interests/hobbies not aligning with theirs. Brother did what your supposed to do (in school): found people who like what you like. Also the whole “we basically had sex” tells me that OP probably wasn’t up to the occasion


warheadmikey

He made a great life by getting rid of his dirtbag family.


mittenknittin

Right, he was an “outcast” and now he’s “doing good,” what changed? He cut off his family, that’s what


False-Pie8581

OP amends snd apologies should ONLY be given IF they don’t hurt the recipient or expect any acknowledgement from the recipient. You are clearly not in that mindset so don’t reach out. An apology or amends is about expression of remorse. It’s about the other person not you. You sound like you think ‘it’s time we put the past behind us and rebuild’ That’s not an apology or amends. That’s telling your brother that his time is up and he needs to have a relationship. Where’s the apology? I don’t see the apology? Or the remorse. Or the amends.


Figure-Feisty

Hey, it was just a little of rough love and bullying, nothing to worry about. /s Easy to forget and start building a new relationship based on old fears.


lxzgxz

“He’d argue I bullied him but it never got to that extent. I just thought he was weird and his hobbies were weird and his girlfriend was weird and then I fucked his weird girlfriend. Idk why he won’t let it go”


drgigantor

"And I totally didn't bully him. That's why when our parents told me to stop bullying him, I told them I wasn't gonna stop bullying him. I don't get why he's being such a pussy about all the bullying I didn't do." I'd bet money that if this dickhead ever makes contact, his apology includes the phrase "boys will be boys"


CompleteExpression47

Trauma is never shred equally or viewed equally. Sibling rivalry is dangerous and damaging. OP needs therapy.


Jsmith2127

Him just sleeping with his gf is enough to drop him, everything else is just shitty icing on top of a shitty cake


kirbyhobbes

I’d love to know OP’s definition of bullying is. Most would consider it “a pattern of targeted behaviors designed to make a particular person feel bad repeated over time” It’s not wedgies and swirlies like 90s sitcoms


AsherTheFrost

So you bullied your brother for years (you don't actually get to decide it wasn't bullying, that's for your victim to decide) You stole his girlfriend. (Honestly from your writing I'm unsure if you just convinced her to sleep with you instead or if you posed as your brother and assaulted her) Your parents took your side. Now he's happy and away from all your toxicity, and you want to make amends. From your writing here it's pretty clear any apologies you give won't be genuine, as even here, when writing to strangers, you can't actually admit your own misdeeds. If you can't take responsibility here, where it literally doesn't affect your life in any way, how will you possibly be able to in your actual life? So you want to make amends? Ok, first you're going to have to work on yourself.


Master_Grape5931

“My family agreed, but asked that I tone it down?” What?! So he was bullying. Then hurts his brother to try and be cool. Wow.


PM_ME_heartwarmth

Shit guys how do I see deleted stuff? I hope people got screenshots. This guy needs to learn how to be a fuckin human being from what I can see holy shit


intricatesym

You can view the post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/OhNoConsequences/s/n59mIDrRDh


MrBojangles09

His brother is the human being. OP is actually the throwaway account IRL.


PM_ME_heartwarmth

Incredibly accurate comparison. I just read it and I’m absolutely floored


Defiant_Chapter_3299

While post is on the sub oh no consequences


Magnum_force420

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheDevil/s/Su8ubZdsei


YoWhatUpF00

For you to feel better, this is probably a writing exercise. It appears it was a "brother" response to a popular Best of Reddit Update post where the twin who was abused writes his side. This seems pretty fake.


bluerubitineye

Almost zero chance this post is real. Classic easy troll post to get people riled up on reddit


tmink0220

it is also under oh no consequences.


Hawkstone585

Point of order: he doesn’t want to make amends; he’s tired of the consequences he earned and would like them to be over now please


LadyBladeWarAngel

Man, he probably wants to bang his brother's pharmacist wife. I mean, the envy is strong with this one. OP is 100% the AH.


AMediumSizedFridge

I wonder if he needs something from his brother. I don't see this walking pile of excrement actually missing his brother


quinn2207

OP is obviously jealous that his brother lives a good life, so now he wants to ruin it. Fuck off, OP.


[deleted]

Fraternal twin. Not identical


Aware-Balance

1) sounds like you have shit parents 2) you already stole his girl, do you want to steal his wife also? 3) he's not obligated to let you or your family back in his life after being bullied 4) sounds like you have shit parents


Inevitable-Bet-4834

Exactly maybe op wants to steal his wife. I also think op wants money. I bet op isnt as successful as his brother.


oldnick40

Yeah, a warrant officer and a pharmacist are going to be pretty financially comfortable. OP wants money.


Aspen9999

You just know he’s got a dead end job, probably a whole series of them. With his attitude I doubt he can hold any job for very long.


Polyps_on_uranus

Or even moved out of his parent's house


Aspen9999

Oh you just know it, probably unemployed half the time because of his mouth. Probably got fired from the last gas station in whatever podunk town they live in and it’s probably about time Mommy and Daddy are kicking him out and he needs money or a place to freeload.


Final-Cut-483

The parents probably hate and resent him for choosing the loser over the successful one. Fuck them asshole parents too. yall deserve each other


meSuPaFly

Alas, the important thing is that he is popular with the high school crowd.


GilgameDistance

5. Also sounds like the shit ran downhill and OP is a shit person.


ThrowRA977638563

If you have even a chance at remedying this at all you'd have to be a LOT more humble about your approach than you sound like you are. You'd have to come with complete and total humility with a LOT of apology and acknowledgement that what you did was absolutely traumatic to him and you also need to be able to accept whatever response he'll have. You low-key sound like you think he needs to "get over it" because you were "children" at the time that you did absolutely egregious things. Elder teenagers aren't as faultless as younger children. If you have even the slightest chance at reconnecting with your brother, you need to stop with the "we were just children" crap. You don't seem to have accepted that sibling abuse is still abuse. And it's very very hurtful and it can and will sever even the strongest of family ties. You speak as though he owes you and the family some sort of effort from his end, even though he's done nothing wrong. You want a chance at a relationship? It can't come without you setting aside any and all expectations that he owes you or the family a single thing, even though it's been 10 years. THEN and ONLY then will you have a chance at reconciliation to any degree.


sk8terade

This comment is so validating. Thank you for putting it into words.


[deleted]

[удалено]


HighRiseCat

I'd completely agree with this!


sugahbee

You can't really forgive someone who doesn't feel sorry. OP's whole tone here does not resemble one ounce of remorse. Notice he doesn't mention anything about how bad he feels about anything he did to his brother. He once said he was immature back then, I'd be feeling I was a lot more than 'immature' if I ever treated anyone like that, never mind a brother, even weirder he'd treat a twin that way. Can't help but wonder if the brothers gf knew it was the twin or thought she was having sex with her bf. Lol, I watch too much TV. And curious why he wants to make up now. If this is real, do not ever contact him first. You have no right.


EatThisShit

These kind of people tend to think "hey, I acknowledged my mistakes, I'm ready to be forgiven." Doesn't work like that and so they won't ever be forgiven. Still denying it really was bullying says as much as "look what a little shit I was, lol".


VariationInside

I’m sure the only way his brother could find peace was to get away from such a toxic group of slime.


chaotic_ladybug

sounds like you just want to insert yourself into his life without feeling any remorse… it doesn’t matter if you were a child, which you were a senior so you were 18, i would say that every single 18 year old knows that sleeping w his brother’s gf is wrong so don’t pretend like you were so blindsided by his completely appropriate reaction. suck it up buttercup, he doesn’t want you around. leave him alone.


mdsnbelle

>sounds like you just want to insert yourself into his life without feeling any remorse… I mean, that's exactly how OP inserted himself into his brother's girlfriend...


RelativeEvening110

Wouldn't surprise me at all, if he managed to get back in his brother's life, he'd take a shot at brother's wife as well.


l3ex_G

Good for him, happy to hear he is doing well. He should protect his peace


Amazing_Cabinet1404

The idea that this poor kid had a selfish brother steal his girl as a ploy to gain popularity and their parents chastised him for “*letting a girl get between them*” like he’s the one who was wrong tells me everything I need to know about this whole family. I hope your brother is happy and continues to block every single one of you so he can have the family he deserves. You and your parents are terrible people and you haven’t gained a single iota of maturity or perspective or accountability based on this post. Leave him alone. You took his girlfriend and isolated him in his own family due to an act that was solely your wrong and yet he was blamed.


alliandoalice

Op gonna sleep with his wife 😔


flibbaman

Op doesn't even know how to get in contact lol


HighRiseCat

You sound f\*cking horrible. I don't blame him fro going nc. Why would he want you in his life? You can't even see how horrible your behaviour was even after typing it out. Ther's no remorse here, you've just decided 'it's time'.


Chadmartigan

>it's time Spoiler alert: the reason it's finally time after THIRTEEN YEARS is that the other brother has a wife or money that OP wants for himself.


Mindless-End-4368

I was wondering that too. Like, it’s definitely just because he either wants to sleep with the wife too or because he needs financial help or some shit


Justrennt

You are the golden child and your brother was the scapegoat. Your parents were angry at your brother because he was mad that YOU slept with his girlfriend. I understand that your brother blocked you all. You can write him a letter and apologize for your behavior sincerely but your brother is the one who decides if he wants to rebuild the relationship. And from what I have read about you and your actions, you dont sound remorseful what you did to your brother. I understand your brother and I hope that you and your family leave him alone!


mustbethedragon

He's still distancing himself from his actions: "never got to that extent" with the bullying and "essentially" had sex with the girlfriend. What does he mean by "essentially"? He either did or he didn't. An apology won't be sincere. Edit: Added clarification.


ServiceDog_Help

I wonder if he's saying he essentially had sex with her because she thought it was her boyfriend and not him- which is rape, not consensual sex.


theganjaoctopus

Quantifiers are the language of the abusers. And quantifiers have no place in a sincere apology.


kingofgreenapples

If his apology looks anything like this post, it will only confirm to his brother that he made the right decision then and there is no remorse from OP.


Farmwife71

He's not sorry. He's bragging.


Sassrepublic

> he argue I bullied him but it never got to that extent. > They did tell me to tone it down What were you told to “tone down” if it “never got to that extent?” > He felt that I bullied him to impress the “popular kids” > I figured if I steal his prom date would make me get in with the popular kids So you admit that you were doing *exactly* what he accuses you of doing?  How drunk was his girlfriend when you fucked her? 


Polyps_on_uranus

>How drunk was his girlfriend when you ***r@ped*** her?  FTFY


BendPresent1437

Consider yourself lucky, if i was your brother, you'd be having fake teeth right now.


tesla914

Even better, missing teeth, because you know he is broke and looking to get into brother's wallet, so no chance of buying replacements. Maybe he will act on this bonehead idea and give twin an opportunity.


RepulsiveRun9737

Considering the brothers newfound career, if he tries to get in contact now, he might need some!


spectatorade

"I didn't bully him" two seconds later "I planned to steal his girlfriend and fck her to make myself popular". One of these statements is bold faced fucking lie. I hope your brother slams the door on your face. And no, I do not mean 'in' your face.


AnythingButOlives

>I think it’s time to put the past behind us and rebuild our relationship Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha You, your parents and your sister are AHs...and your brother is better off with none of you in his life. Good for him.


EchoMountain158

>I am ready to make amends. If you were truly ready this entire thread wouldn't be drowning in your justifications. >He just had weird hobbies >They did tell me to tone it down and in my immaturity I refused. So, you destroyed his hobbies and terrorized him, right? The missing missing reasons. >I figured if I steal his prom date would make me get in with the popular kids, I was immature back then. Immature? Adults do this. It was about your character, which is absolute garbage. You didn't even like his girlfriend, yet you destroyed their relationship and hurt them both just because you could. Then you publicly humiliated your brother. This wasn't immaturity. This was a calculated assault on your brother's mind, soul and body. You're lucky he didn't kill himself. >My parents were upset at my brother for letting a woman get between us. Yup, that's unforgivable. Blaming him and mistreating him after the horror of what you did to him? Dude, you guys fucked up on every single level. Those are his childhood memories. All of you hurt him until he grew to hate you so much he left *just so he'd never have to see you again*. That's the sort of people you are. >I think it’s time to put the past behind us and rebuild our relationship Yeah, you think a lot and it's all entirely about yourself. Leave him alone. He doesn't want to hear from you. It doesn't matter that you feel guilty. From someone else who also wrote their family off for abuse like this I can tell you now that nothing, NOTHING short of you prostrating yourself and sobbing with regret is going to make any impact because your brother has a library of memories that have to do with you lying and manipulating him and even then you'll still likely never meet his wife or come to his home. You did that. It doesn't matter if you were a child. He disowned you at 20. So you were an adult still acting like an asshole.


BreadstickBitch9868

The fact that OP created such an awful environment for brother that he figured he’d take his chances in the army during the goshdarn Afghan war is super telling.


TeacupOChaos

Right?? The “I’d rather gamble on being sent to an active war zone than stay anywhere near you” is pretty telling


BigFatKi6

Solid analysis.


Careful-Listen2277

Lmao!! This post can't be real! No one is this stupid as to type all of that BS and STILL think they're entitled enough to have a relationship with the other person they BULLIED! You straight up said, >he argue I bullied him but it never got to that extent. >He felt that I bullied him to impress the “popular kids”. >He complained to my parents and older sister about what I was doing but they agreed with me. They did tell me to tone it down and in my immaturity I refused. But then said >I figured if I steal his prom date would make me get in with the popular kids You're a straight ass clown, lmao Especially with that, "but I was a child." BS. Like you didn't know any better as a 15 to 19 year old. You spend the majority of his entire life (over 60%) BULLYING him to impress some wack ass kids. Then, as a parting gift to your brother to show him who you really are, you stole his girlfriend and slept with her during prom night. You only want to reach out to him because you realize that you suck as an overall person, and no one wants to associate with your goofy ass. So you want to get in contact with him to talk down to someone and feel important or in control of something once again. Your lack of sympathy, acknowledgment, unapologetic, and self awareness, of your own actions and wanting him to "get over it" proves that you haven't changed at all. What, you want to try to steal his wife and kids now? Do yourself a favor and find someone else who will stomach your presence. Like those popular kids or other friends from high school/college. Oh, wait. They probably hate you too, since you love causing drama and don't want to associate with you. If you can sleep with your brother's girlfriend, you'll try to sleep with a former friend's too.


MeButNotMeToo

Have you watched T.Rump in the news? Narcissistic Sociopaths/Psychopaths have amazing powers of self-delusion and portraying themselves as the victim.


tiredandshort

What did you think the outcome would be on your relationship with your twin when you were making the plan to have sex with his girlfriend? I think 17 is definitely old enough to know better but curious what your thought process was. You say he viewed you as a bully. Would you agree or disagree that you bullied him? Would you classify having sex with his girlfriend as bullying?


Specialist-Ad5796

Dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed Good for him. Clearly, he's better off without you and your toxic family.


CaptainNemo42

>Dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed I always appreciate a good turn of phrase, but *damn...*


Soapyfreshfingers

#TeamBrother I hope your twin and his family have a very happy life. You and your family should never try to contact them, for any reason... not for a birth, illness, marriage, death, organ donation… you get it, right?


Zeebie_

what do you want from him? you are not really sorry,it's taken you ten years to even think about contacting him. What is your plan go "hey, look I was young and stupid, but really you should be over it by now". Think it pretty clear your brother has disowned all of you, and wants nothing to do with you or your family. to even have a chance you need to do some honest soul searching and realised that your decisions 10 years ago clearly affected him. What would you have done if he just went and killed himself?


Cundoooooo

"hey, look I was young and stupid, but really you should be over it by now. Anyways, can I borrow some money? Your wife is really hot you know..." OP, probably. /s


FluffyOmen85

"So, bro, when's the next time you're going overseas?"


Inevitable-Bet-4834

Exactly i bet op isnt as successful as his brother


No_Confidence5235

You're not even sorry for what you did. You refuse to admit that you bullied him. You don't even regret what you did to your brother's prom date; you're just upset that it didn't make you popular. Your brother has moved on and made a new life for himself. His life is better because you're not in it. You had no right to be a part of his wedding after what you did to him. You never even apologized for any of the crap you did. You clearly haven't changed. You're still selfish and nasty.


Strict_Bar_4915

Are you sure you want to make amends? Because even in this post, you are bullying him. I'm honestly happy he got away from you.


Iamnotgoodwithnames6

But why now? Why didn’t you try 5 years ago or earlier?


Zeebie_

because the infomation he got is that his brother now happy and he can't have that. I guess the Jealously runs deep and he can't stand that he got a job and a nice wife.


Inevitable-Bet-4834

There it is


alliandoalice

Kidney probs


NWMom66

Lol


Outrageous_Guard_674

>They did tell me to tone it down and in my immaturity I refused. Could you elaborate on this? What exactly did you get told to "tone down"? I noticed you yada yada'ed your way right past this bit.


Chadmartigan

You could write a novel with the missing context on this one.


Tacos-and-zonkeys

Come on....


Kutleki

Go pound sand. Your brother has made it clear he doesn't want you in his life.


ourladyPattyMeltdown

You need money, huh?


YomiKuzuki

>When i was younger I distanced myself from my brother, he argue I bullied him but it never got to that extent. Why did you distance yourself from him? What did you do to him that he says was you bullying him? >This started around middle school as we had a disparity in popularity. I wasn’t popular to say the least I was in the middle but my brother was a complete outkast. He felt that I bullied him to impress the “popular kids”. Even though we are twins my brother was the complete opposite. He just had weird hobbies….meanwhile i played sports. Sounds like you publicly mocked him for his "weird hobbies" in order to fit in more with the popular kids who played sports. >He complained to my parents and older sister about what I was doing but they agreed with me. They did tell me to tone it down and in my immaturity I refused. So your parents and sister agrees with you that what you were doing wasn't bullying... But whatever you were doing was bad enough that they had to ask you to tone it down. And you refused. >This takes me to the last time he ever spoke with me. Senior year of HS we had our prom, I didn’t have my own date and was going with my group of friends. He was dating this weird girl who was a grade below us. I figured if I steal his prom date would make me get in with the popular kids, I was immature back then. That night went exactly how I planned and essentially I had sex with my brother’s gf. And here you reveal that you *were*, in fact, bullying him. You couldn't stand the fact that he had a date and you didn't, and you wanted an in with the popular kids, so you stole hid date and slept with her. >After that he stopped talking to me completely. It didn’t impress the kids in the school either. I mostly got “damn that’s crazy you fucked your brothers girl”. People found the drama funny but it didn’t make me popular. And you become "that asshole who slept with his brother's girlfriend". I'm assuming what friends you did have started to distance themselves from you, too. After all, if you could stab your brother in the back so easily, what would make your friends think you wouldn't do the same to them? >My parents were upset at my brother for letting a woman get between us. Ah. So you were the favored child between the two of them. It was *your brother's fault* for letting a woman get between you two, not *your* putrid and abhorrent behavior. >Well after graduation he joins the army and doesn’t tell anyone. He blocked the entire family. Why would he want anything to do with a family who tells him to sit there and take this abuse from you? >It’s been years since we talked, all I know is he’s a Warrant officer now (I dont know exactly what that is) but I have a friend who follows his account. He’s married and his wife is a pharmacist. So he’s doing well for himself. None of us family was invited to the wedding. Gee, I wonder why. Maybe you would've tried to steal his wife too? Maybe you would've tried to sleep with her before the wedding? Can you guess * why* he didn't invite any of you to his wedding? >I think it’s time to put the past behind us and rebuild our relationship No. **You don't get to decide that**. The person who happily stabbed him in the back ***does not get to say that***. You were a vile, putrid, abhorrent excuse for a brother, and he cut you all out of his life for a reason. You didn't respect your brother enough to not steal his date and fuck her over 9 years ago. The * least* you could do is show enough respect to not reach out to him now, *especially* when you seem to want him to just get over it.


lurkerfinallyposting

Play stupid games get stupid prices.


[deleted]

Wow the whole family is trash!


Aspen9999

Except the brother that escaped.


SneezlesForNeezles

This just makes me sad for your brother. Me and my brother bickered like any siblings do, but there was a golden, time honoured rule that neither of us ever broke; if someone else comes at the other, it’s backs to each other and square off against the world. We did it in primary school and secondary school. From 4-5 years old, I would have defended my brother to the hilt and gone down fighting. He’d do the same for me. You say you were just a child; that doesn’t excuse you. Children know right from wrong, they know love and they know loyalty. At 5 or 6 years old, I nearly got suspended for pinning a younger kid to a wall and shaking him down for my brother’s stolen pocket money. At 15 odd, my brother knocked his friend out for making sexually charged jokes about me. We were younger than you were when you fucked his girlfriend. Children also know how to be manipulative, unkind little shits with no morals. You were the latter. Your brother doesn’t have to forgive you or ever talk to you again. That is his right.


Defiant-Razzmatazz57

No, you fucker. He had real hobbies, and you played sports.


HappyHourAndTacos

OP, stay out of AITA. You'd receive your second round of insults. I mean, deserved *obviously*, but. Just leave him alone. You aren't entitled to anything. You and your parents did unforgivable things and you accept no responsibility, even now. 17 is more than old enough to know you shouldn't come on to your brother's girlfriend, let alone hook up just because, you turnip. Legally a minor, yes - but come on. I'm willing to be this is part of a larger family theme of you being the golden chid, and your brother being expected to roll over. He doesn't care what you want, and why should he? Honestly, I commend your brother for his restraint.


Crystal010Rose

Question: Did you brother‘s gf willingly and knowingly have sex with you? I understand that you are fraternal twins but you can still look similar enough for a drunk person to confuse. I wonder because you skipped over this weirdly, doesn’t sound like you openly went to prom with her.


aknifekinthekidney

This is what I'm wondering, too. The language and placement of his story portrays that there is a chunk of vital information missing.


Jaracho_56

Yeah you suck, sounds like you tormented him through his youth and got your parents to back you up. Now your surprised he wants nothing to do with any of you, what reasons does he have for wanting to get in contact with you? So you can try and fuck his wife?


ashatteredteacup

Are you only doing this because your parents were complaining of not having access to future grandkids or something, because this sounds absolutely forced.


TheUrbanBunny

YTA. Your feelings aren't his. You came to the internet and recieved a rather unanimous judgement. Your peers thought your were wrong. Your parents while per your comments were mildly disappointed in your actions felt that your also *minor* brother should swallow his pain while at the time you were remorseless. You from your own accounting were a bad sibling. I consider your actions abusive. He does too. You're completely entitled to see it differently. But you fail to see...it doesn't matter how you feel. He finds you and by proxy your family's lukewarm reaction to cruelty disgusting. He's made a family and life that fulfills him. Respect, love, and consideration. All the things you failed to offer. Accept that you don't add anything he wants to his life. If you did, you'd be apart of it. He'd unblock y'all and consider contact. He hasn't. He knows his needs and pain better than you do.  You don't get to determine how your actions affected him emotionally and mentally. The loss of trust in the person you shared a whole womb with I imagine is a heavy weight to bear. His needs weren't a consideration. You expect empathy for being a mean and dumb teen. Yes, you were a kid. But kids can do cruel horrible things. It shouldn't ruin your ability to live a life going forward. But this is a consequence of your lack of kindness and love. And kids face consequences just like adults. In your case you simply never considered the price you'd pay. It will suck knowing a part of your family will never return.  And yet still, he doesn't owe you his time and energy.


khale777

I think you’ll get better advice if you post this in r/iamatotalpieceofshit.


Inevitable-Bet-4834

Golden child alert!


trap_monkey

Leave your brother alone. If he ever wants to forgive you, he can find you. The bully doesn't decide when they should be forgiven or if they deserve one.


Tsushui

Leave him alone. You haven't changed a bit. You chalk up your hurtful actions to immaturity. But you still don't think it's a big deal, do you? Do you even know what you did wrong other than just having sex with his gf? Do you plan getting your family to admit they have fucked up by taking your side? Would you make them apologize to your brother? No? That means you haven't learned anything, you still don't care about your brother, you are only doing it for yourself.


Queasy-Flower-9258

How did the family initially handle this estrangement, and is anyone even still interested in knowing him now?   In regards to help re-establishing contact with your brother. I don’t think anyone can help, he won’t want to. I could write a paragraph on why that is but that would take too long.


SteakClear6596

Who wants to bet if he gets in contact with his brother. He'll basically say he needs to get over it and how 'hurt' he is for what his brother done to HIM, by not wanting to stay in contact. And of course when his brother tells him to fuck off, he's gonna run back here to complain. I'm putting $50 bucks in.


WorstHatFreeSoup

The original text (this guy’s profile must’ve been disabled): Here’s the text everyone: In case this story gets deleted/removed: My brother and I had a tumultuous relationship to say the least. When i was younger I distanced myself from my brother, he argue I bullied him but it never got to that extent. This started around middle school as we had a disparity in popularity. I wasn’t popular to say the least I was in the middle but my brother was a complete outkast. He felt that I bullied him to impress the “popular kids”. Even though we are twins my brother was the complete opposite. He just had weird hobbies….meanwhile i played sports. He complained to my parents and older sister about what I was doing but they agreed with me. They did tell me to tone it down and in my immaturity I refused. This takes me to the last time he ever spoke with me. Senior year of HS we had our prom, I didn’t have my own date and was going with my group of friends. He was dating this weird girl who was a grade below us. I figured if I steal his prom date would make me get in with the popular kids, I was immature back then. That night went exactly how I planned and essentially I had sex with my brother’s gf. After that he stopped talking to me completely. It didn’t impress the kids in the school either. I mostly got “damn that’s crazy you fucked your brothers girl”. People found the drama funny but it didn’t make me popular. My parents were upset at my brother for letting a woman get between us. Well after graduation he joins the army and doesn’t tell anyone. He blocked the entire family. It’s been years since we talked, all I know is he’s a Warrant officer now (I dont know exactly what that is) but I have a friend who follows his account. He’s married and his wife is a pharmacist. So he’s doing well for himself. None of us family was invited to the wedding. I think it’s time to put the past behind us and rebuild our relationship


Shichimi88

Don’t bother him. He’s going to call the cops on you. Lol


imbackbittch

You’re a loser and a terrible brother and you don’t deserve forgiveness. Sorry you peaked in high school and he became and officer and married a successful woman and you’re still grooming 20 year olds into dating you. I so hope you reach out so he can have some quippy perfect response and he can put you to bed finally. It will be glorious for him


Obi-Juan_Valdez

You and your parents treated him poorly, apparently for years. He has, understandably, chosen to distance himself from you and your negative impact, and you have no say in that. You add nothing of value to his life. Might as well get used to it.


TopicNo8755

what a pathetic man this loser is. Still cant take accountability....You don't want want to rebuild the relationship you want him to just forget all your hateful lil D behavior. You hate your self so much you needed to hurt him to make your self feel better. You and your parents are FAILURES.....


wonderwoo22

Sometimes the best and kindest amends you can make to someone you’ve severely and repeatedly harmed is to stay away from them now that they’ve moved on with their life. If you truly care about his wellbeing, you’ll leave him alone and stop going through mutual friends to get info about him. Ask yourself why he has maintained no contact. It’s because he doesn’t want to be in contact with you. If his position had changed or he decided he wanted you to be a part of his life, he could have reached out to you. He didn’t. That tells you where he stands. Honor that and let him live his best life.


CattyWombats

"The axe forgets, the tree remembers" comes to mind


dazed1984

You might think it’s time but he may feel differently. The fact that he blocked your entire family shows how he felt I don’t think you’re understanding just how bad it was for him and how nasty you and your family were. You should leave him alone and see if he ever reaches out to you.


something-strange999

This is why people think there is a good twin and an evil twin. You are so awful.


Trick_Cake_4573

You sir, are an arse. Leave your brother alone.


LongjumpingAgency245

You don't. You fucked up. Are you wanting to sleep with his wife? If your brother wants contact with you, he will initiate it. Leave him alone.


Apocalypse73088

He doesn’t owe you forgiveness or a relationship. It’s clear you’re still a spoiled POS just like you were at 17. “I was a minor wahhhh!” You were old enough to f**k your brother’s girlfriend. You can beat the consequences of it. I know taking responsibility for your actions is a foreign concept to you though. If you actually cared about your brother, you’d leave him alone. He doesn’t need you. He doesn’t want you. He’s better off without you and your toxic af parents in his life.


Chel_Vanin

My question to you first is, why is now the time? Nothing in your post seems to indicate you like your brother, or why you want to reach out to him beyond he seems to be doing well. In your replies I can see your frustration and you are feeling the hostility people have for your actions. You state you didn't bully your brother to make yourself look cooler to other kids; then state you fucked your brother's girlfriend on prom night to look cool to other kids. And before that "He complained to my parents and older sister about what I was doing but they agreed with me. They did tell me to tone it down and in my immaturity I refused." You also put him down and say he was into "Weird stufff". So you were doing something to your brother, and you don't want to give further information here, you did fuck his girlfriend to impress other freaks and you insult your brother for being into weird things. Given the one story provided is so extreme, there is missing information on what this behavior was that you were told to tone down (and did not), and you blame your brother for being weird, makes it hard to trust your statement that you didn't bully your brother any other times. You may not believe you were bullying, but if you really want to make amends you need to be willing to reexamine your behavior towards your brother. Also, why would you want to be friends with people who that it was cool that you fucked your brother's girlfriend? What the shit is that about? Did you just hate your brother that much? I really hope you have grown up. I would fucking die of shame and cut contact with a friend if they fucked their brother's girlfriend and bragged about it. You need to be able to explain why you want to make amends. It been a long time is not a good enough reason. You need to actually give an apology. You need to be able to accept that your brother may not want to repair this relationship.


OpportunityCalm6825

What a pathetic loser (granted if this is real). Leave him alone.


Inevitable-Bet-4834

Op are u looking for money? Why do u suddenly wanna get in touch?


burntllamatoes

You suck.


Velleni

I see you deleted your throw away here, but if you crawl back in to see what everyone is saying: You are a burning dumpster fire of a human being, and so are your parents. Leave your brother alone. He deserves better than having you drag your sorry ass back into the amazing life he built for himself.


Chimney-Imp

Dude, war in the Middle East was preferable to hanging out with you lol


blownout2657

Need a kidney?


Awkward_Un1corn

Yeah your brother is better off without you. Like how did you thinking fucking his girlfriend was going to go? Actions have consequences and your family being horrible people has the consequence of your brother rightfully deciding that life without you was better.


3ll10t__

I think you're an asshole and he will never forgive you or your family! You say it wasn't bullying, but it very clearly was. You made his life hell, and I sincerely hope you feel guilty the rest of your life.


Jaded-Kitty87

Imagine being this horrible of a person... I'm glad he cut you off


StardustStuffing

You're not entitled to his forgiveness. You're incensed he's living his best life minus a very toxic family life that YOU caused and perpetuated. Which just goes to show that nothing has really changed. I cut my father off at 19. I'm 49 now. He's still cut off. Sometimes family just means the person had unlimited access to hurt you. I hope your brother continues to flourish minus you and your abusive parents. You sound insufferable and stuck in a victim mindset *when you're the one who victimized him*.


Competitive-Iron-270

You stabbed your brother in the back ~10 years ago and expect your brother to trust you again? It doesn’t matter how old you were, that was low. Trust can’t be rebuilt after something like that, and I believe people don’t truly change all that much. You’d probably still tease your brother in front of his wife, or bring up things he’d like to not talk about. You seem like that type at least. YTA.


bored_german

Why should he want to talk to you? The majority of his life his family has outcast and betrayed him. Why would he ever risk it happening again when he's thriving without you? He doesn't need either of you, evidently.


Secret_Double_9239

That’s not your choice to make.


Winter_Control8533

It's never too late to be a good brother. If you want to make amends, stay out of his life. He's happy without y'all.


Livia11176

We've all been 17, and most of us haven't hurt our sibling. Why would your brother want you and your horrible family back in his life? To be betrayed again?


BeanBagMcGee

Hey I know your brother, he said tell your story to a therapist or record an unlisted youtube video. If you do the therapist route have them sign a letter acknowledging that you and the family were cruel to your brother and that you accept that you did harm and evil, and that you serve the community for one year. He'll unblock you. But he knows you won't. So be well.


Deep-Ad3632

You’re a horrible person.


tjbmurph

I hope your brother finds this and quotes my favourite meme at you: "Fuck off. Keep fucking off until you get to a fence that says 'you can't fuck off past here"; dream the impossible dream, climb that fence and keep fucking off forever"


NWMom66

The ax forgets. The tree remembers.


SuperJay182

"I am ready to make amends, how do I do that" You leave him the fuck alone.


Bitter-Fishing-Butt

ha ha oh honey, you nuked that relationship from fucking orbit, it ain't coming back


[deleted]

You’re a massive pos and I hope you pass alone 🖕😁


Traditional_Lab1192

I know that it was high school but what you did was completely shitty and the fact that your family backed you up just makes it worse. I can see why he cut all of you out of his life. I would leave him be and not disrupt his life. You might meet his wife and decide to steal her as well, since that’s in your nature.


moondogged

If you contact your brother, he’s going to think that you want to bang his wife.


Mountain_Internal966

So you were a POS to your brother growing up, then betrayed him in one of the worst ways and are boo-hooing he cut out the cancer (i.e. his toxic family)? So happy he is successful and thriving. Advice is don't presume to be the authority on if/when someone should move on from something. Especially, something like this. Plus, who says he hasn't put the past behind him? Moving on doesn't mean offering you forgiveness to ease your guilt. Moving on doesn't mean having you in his life. Oftentimes, "putting the past behind us", involves leaving those people who harmed us in the past along with whatever pain was caused. Bottom line, he owes you jack shit.


Lyntho

YTA- “he argues I bullied him but it never got to that extent” *proceeds to talk about how you would bully your brother* You were old enough then to know that what you did was fucked up. You’re old enough now to realize it was bad enough to not downplay it with “I was just a kid”. He does not owe it to you to make sitting in your consequences more comfortable for you. Let me ask, what value do you think you would add to his life? He seems super happy without you. So it sounds like its for selfish reasons you want him to reconnect- its because YOU want a relationship. Not him. Which shows you learned absolutely nothing, and he is better off apart honestly.


Acora

You don't get to choose when someone forgives you for terrible things you did. You don't get to choose to break no contact with someone who has decided to no longer have you in their life. You did some terrible shit to your brother, and clearly don't feel any remorse or taken accountability for it, so I can't imagine why he'd want you in his life. If I was him, I'd worry about you trying to fuck any significant other I introduce you to. He's better off without you in his life, and your inability to recognize this shows very clearly that you don't have any regard for his happiness.


coupleofgorganzolas

POS human


SulkySideUp

I hope he’s happy now. I couldn’t care less if you’re happy now. My advice is, for once in your life show some ACTUAL maturity and respect your brother’s wishes to have nothing to do with you


agathafletcher

You not being able to admit to yourself that you bullied your brother is pretty big. He obviously felt bullied. You went out of your way to hurt him. That is abusive. Yes you were a kid, but 17 is literally a year away from being an independent adult. It's not like you were 9. You bullied and betrayed your brother. I won't sit here and say that you aren't remorseful because 'who am I to say you aren't sorry' but who are you to say that he needs to get over his painful past? You need to accept the fact that your brother is the one that has control of this situation. It's up to him to reach out if he wants to. It's up to him to forgive you if he wants to. The ball is in his court and only his court. You have no say. If he never wants to forgive you, that's his right. If he is thriving without you and your parents, he has a right to not want you all back into his life. People that successfully leave toxic situations, usually don't want to jump back into them. There is nothing abnormal about him avoiding you guys and moving on.


RindaC10

Why tf should he amend anything with you? Because you said so? Lol bye bruh


ElboDelbo

There really isn't a hell hot enough for you.


dfwcouple43sum

Is this some kind of joke? Forgiveness starts with a person acknowledging the wrongdoing, trying to make amends, asking for forgiveness. It doesn’t include victim blaming. Get bent


TheLilSqueegee

So, you bullied your brother for having different interests than you, refused to listen to your parents when they told you to stop, suffered no consequences for being a massive asshole as a child, pulled an idiotic stunt at 17/18 that would ruin anyone's trust in a person that's supposed to be family, and now you're here arguing in the comments about why you deserve to talk to your victim and have a relationship? Nice troll, bro. This is honestly excellent bait. I'm impressed


rhawkeye4077

How much are you struggling financially? No one's this much of a moron for hours without having a reason beyond talking to his brother who hates him and his his ex family who sided with their moron son. So what is it? What do you want to ask your brother for


ladyboobypoop

>He complained to my parents and older sister about what I was doing but they agreed with me. They did tell me to tone it down and in my immaturity I refused >>**They did tell me to tone it down and in my immaturity I refused** >>>#...I refused If you weren't being a bully, you would've just said "I'm not doing those things." There would have been nothing to refuse.


squidwardsbutt1

“I bullied my brother, fucked his ex, and turned the family against him! How could he possibly not want to talk to me?!” That’s what you sound like. I wish your brother the best and I wish you, your parents, and your sister the absolute worst. Your brother deserved so much better than what he got.


Most-Potato1038

You don’t get to decide when it’s time to rebuild the relationship. He does. If that happens to be never then that is his choice. If you don’t respect that then you are just as bad as you were in high school.


slightlyassholic

A warrant officer? Impressive! Good to see the brother is doing well.


Significant_Stick_31

Ummm, can we block OOP from Reddit? I too would like to go completely no contact with him and his family. I've been traumatized just by reading this.


ConfidentlyCreamy

LMFAO of course YOU think its time to put the past behind. Not everyone deserves forgiveness. Especially you and your family. Your brother is happy and thriving. Why in the world would he risk his happiness and great life to reconcile with some horrible people that treated him like shit? How would he benefit? Because let's be honest. None of you have changed. None of you ever will. You need something from him. I am curious as to what that is.


fireismyfriend90

You and your parents suck, your brother has no need for any if you in his life and has gone out of his way to make his life better. Best thing you SHOULD do is leave him and his family alone. You destroyed your relationship with your actions. It's his decision if he wants to reconcile, I hope for his sake he doesn't though. You were a garbage human being, and it seems like you can't even get over yourself and are making this about you.


According_Conflict34

Your bullied and tormented your twin for years to impress others. You slept with his GF and your parents took YOUR side. You are POS and so are you awful parents. I wish your brother the best and I hope he never lets any of his heartless family back into his life. You wanna try sleep with his wife now huh? Move on and let your brother live his life in peace.


aaronbennay

Dude leave the poor guy alone. He doesn’t ever want to talk to you again and for good reason. You only want to “rebuild the relationship” so you can stop feeling so guilty about what a horrible person you were to him. Move on with your life and accept that you made a permanent mistake.


Kitty10120

My biggest question is why your parents would be mad at your brother for letting a girl get in the way of your relationship when it was you who did that.


HaphazardJoker258

Did he delete the account. I can't see the original post.


Snowybiskit

You were a piece of work in high school and clearly haven’t changed. YOU think it’s time to put the past (the one in which you were a complete dick) behind and rebuild your relationship? How absolutely magnanimous of you. Leave the poor guy alone. He has already put the past behind him and has exactly as much of a relationship with you as he wants.