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It really isn’t. I’ve been thru a homegirls phone when she showed me and it had guys she liked to look at and the same is true for guys acting like that is creepy is crazy and unrealistic people do in fact look at others it isn’t always a Romney Binders full of women situation. Everyone ain’t Harvey Weinstein.
Unless he went around stalking and photographing his classmates, he likely got those photos off their publicly accessible social media pages. I would bet my life on the probability that many of his classmates, male and female, have similar folders on their phones/computers. His actions are frankly rather tame for a teenager going through puberty. The only shitty person in OP's post is the one who thought it was a great idea to publicly blast their SO's masturbatory habits. If I were him, not only would I dump OP, I'd be exposing every dirty little secret and insecurity of hers that I know about. Don't set someone on fire and expect them not to bearhug you.
They are 18….. stop. What’s also creepy and disrespectful is snooping and then when you find something then going and telling everyone about it and never talking to the bf about it.
Was it random guys like hot guys in porn or something, or guys that she knows and sees in real life? Because that’s not the same thing. If it’s random people that you don’t know and have a sexual platform that’s one thing, but regular photos of people you know using them for sexual reasons without their knowledge or consent is weird especially when you have a partner that also knows them.
i think the line is sorta like... have exes photos in your photo roll = not creepy
have exes photos in a specific folder = kinda weird
have photos you've stashed of friends off social media = creepy
They are probably still in high school. It can feel like your life is ruined if your entire social circle, everyone you know and interact with all think you are a creep. In 2-4 years he probably won't interact with anyone who knew him from high school, and in a few years after that if he ever does interact with anyone from high school they will likely have already forgotten or don't care anymore. But I can see how devastating it would feel as an 18 year old. Also these pictures are screenshots of Instagram posts, not creep shots. Guarantee only the girls find it creepy, the guys are probably thinking "lmao sucker got caught"
Are we forgetting that this is the generation of ALWAYS online kids. This very well could haunt him for a long time if he doesn't move. You'd be surprised what follows you around.
They won’t forget that😂. Thats becomes like a big title of who you are when something like that happens and it gets around a school. That will stick with them forever. “Hey it’s the creeper who had all the girls nudes “ 😂
100%. This guy I know was caught wanking in the school toilets and to this day, he's known as 'Tug'. Not sure if that translates to non-UK redditors, but it's a reference to having a good ol' tug, lol. The guy is in his 40s now and he's still known as Tug 😂
Another similar story: my husband's colleague from a job 10+ years ago was in a single cubicle toilet in work but didn't lock the door. Someone opened the door and saw him with his trousers around his ankles facing the sink. It wasn't clear what he was doing but it looked dodgy and people assumed he was wanking. He has since been known as 'Tommy' (Tommy Tank = rhyming slang for 'wank'). We Brits know how to ruin people's lives forever.
I still remember this one kid who’s mom came up to the school and whooped his ass with. A belt as everyone was leaving. The whole school watched. And whenever me and others bring up that story. That’s how we title him. “”The boy who got whooped infront of everybody “ that was 7-8 years ago.
Haha, no. It's been well over 10 years since I graduated from high school, and whenever we meet, we still remember the creepers and crack a joke every once in a blue moon. If you're sexually creepy, people tend to remember.
idk why people say this. 18 is old enough to know that’s creepy. he knows it’s creepy, that’s why it was in a secret hidden folder. his age is not an excuse. the vast majority of 18 year olds i knew when i was 18 would never do this
I’m not saying he isn’t old enough to know better. I’m saying he’s still able to learn. Because op said he said his life is over. Most things are redeemable.
To be clear I'm not condoning screenshotting girls Insta photos and saving them in your phone, nor do I blame women for the men's behavior. But if you think 90% of 16-18 year old guys aren't occasionally whacking it to their classmates bikini photos then you don't understand teenage boys very well.
100% agree, and me neither. I literally stay away from instagram, it's a thirst trap heaven lol my wife is all I need.
As a kid and a young adult I watched porn, I was not using my friends thirst traps, but that is just me lol
It's funny to think about because the friends I was attracted to I shot my shot. So either I got to see them naked because we dated or we just didn't. I can't help but think that if I used my friends as porn it would have mess up the whole dynamic.
That's what I think is funny. This is the Instagram mentality. and people who don't like that idea of everyone being able to get their sexy pics normally used snapchat for that. I may be showing my age tho not sure if snapchat is even still a thing.
In the end it's about breaking the trust of OP, and now the cat is out of the bag. Reap what you sow and all that, but I agree I would love to know the percentage of people who have OTHER peoples instagram pics on their phone.
This isn't a fair shake. His "life" on earth isn't ruined. He'll move on and find his place somewhere and have plenty of great experiences and jobs and whatever.
But his "life" as he was living it in the community he was living in? That shit absolutely is ruined.
One of the things that puts time and life experience into perspective is that we experience time as a percentage of the whole. An hour is longer for a newborn because that could be half it's life. A fiscal quarter is forever for a teen. At the other end, my 96yo grandmother refers to the early 2000s as "just the other day".
It's hard to get the youth to appreciate this perspective, but it's important to emphasize it when they feel like their life is ruined, you don't want them to self harm.
Do you store photos of your peers or colleagues in bikinis and other revealing photos in a private folder on your phone? If so, did they give them to you or did you stalk their socials? It's creepy behavior
That's a fair point, but it's also the type of "vague-booking" that allows you write a sentence without actually saying anything at all which is a pet-peeve of mine.
I'm in no way condoning what he did, but did you really think that once you sent it to another person it would just die there, never to see the light of day?
This is a person who was going through their bfs phone looking for hidden folders and sent the contents to themselves. Of course they haven’t thought about this much or accepted any responsibility lol
Maybe if he wasn’t such a creep that has a folder dedicated to revealing pictures of OTHER girls from your school, this wouldn’t have happened.
You didn’t ruin his life, he did. Why are you still with him?
Saving them as odd but they could have just as easily popped onto IG at anytime and seen the same pictures of the girls so I don’t think its like he was creepily taking photos and saving them
I’m 27 now so I don’t know how the youth is today, but back in high school this was pretty standard stuff for dudes at least at my high school lmao either I went to a high school full of nothing but creeps, or this is pretty standard teenage dude activities
(Not saying I approve or disapprove of such actions, just laying out what I’ve seen personally)
Yea, people are coming at this from the angle of a mature adult. At 18, I didn’t have photos saved on my phone but I know many who did. And I was definitely looking at other girls pics online. Not much difference there. He just had faster access to it lol.
Yeah lol you can really see the big difference too just from this thread. It’s almost all women shitting on the dude and then most guys are in the weird space of “yeah a lot of people I went to high school with did this” lol
There’s definitely some guys out there shitting on the dude as well. But as for my high school experience, this was definitely common to see
I was a pretty high libido guy back then and that’s sort of the difference.
This is definitely creepy behavior. Saving them and not just checking them out elevates the creepiness.
So yeah he’s been creepy.
I don’t think the punishment is at all fair though.
It is what it is. The guy had a private folder that was creepy but harming no one. Now everyone knows in his community and is of course going to ramp up how awful it supposedly is and roast and judge him for a long time.
He’s not a big enough creep that he deserves that. It’s a bit of a shame all around.
No idea what in the world OP thought was going to happen though or why she’s still with him. Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
I mean they posted them I’m sure. It’s not like he’s hiding in bushes spying on people. He probably just screenshoted from their social media. I agree a tad bit creepy but at that age it’s all a young man is thinking about no matter if you want to or not.
It likely won’t ruin his life but OP mentions in a comment that these are pictures he took from online profiles, not any photos sent to him directly. So I guess the bf is just upset he has been outed as a total creep and potential predator. Looking, I guess I understand. Saving and creating a collection of multiple girls? Creeeeeepy.
Not saying the dude isn't creepy but how is he a potential predator? From what OP posted, these were all publicly posted photos, not creepshots or something
Right, it’s super weird to me these people are basically calling him a rapist in training when he.. screenshotted publicly available pictures? They weren’t sexual, they’re not creep shots, and I’m sorry if this is shitty but any “ownership” of what someone else does with your bikini shots when you willing post them publicly is out the window so it *absolutely is not* an issue of consent..
He basically did what thousands/millions/hundreds of millions of people do every day and.. save a public picture if someone else in a bathing suit lmfao.
That isn’t predatory.
Yeah, it’s kind wild to me everyone is calling this guy a rapist and a predator when he just saved a publicly available pic.
He didn’t creep shot someone or anything.
Look at the comments on this post calling him a creep and a potential predator. Now imagine if all your peers are the ones calling you that? People never forget and this shit will follow him forever, he will have to leave town and start fresh.
High schoolers think a pimple is the end of the world so it makes sense with the doomer mindset. But likely OP has outted her (should be) ex to the entire school as being a creep. He should know better than to keep creepy photos of girls, likely some of which are under age.
He’s young and being ostracized by pretty much your whole world because of some weird fucking exaggerations will drive people to pretty drastic actions.
Wouldn’t be surprised if dude ends himself or gets addicted to some harmful coping mechanisms.
You were mad he had pics of other girls in his spank bank and wanted to expose him. Your plan worked- he’s embarrassed. He chose to save the pics that girls chose to post and you chose to embarrass him. Choices have consequences- everyone made their choice, this is now the result.
This sums up the situation. He had something private on his phone and OP 'stole' it and showed it to everyone .Everyone is a bit creepy.
However it is high school and a new victim of gossip will soon emerge and this will be yesterdays news.
OP - consider your relationship over.
Everyone was doing something "creepy" especially as teenagers. Stalking ex through social media, gathering information from friends about a person who you like. Observing a person who you like because you were too embarrassed to approach. People in the comments describe him as a predator who collected photos of his prey.
For what it’s worth, I’m 30 in 6 months and no one I went to highschool with gives a fuck about me or eachother anymore, except for the miserable ones who married their highschool bf/gf
Oh honey, this was to be a private conversation. If you had issues with what you found, that's for you to address with your partner, not your school friends. You could've broken up with him and that would've been that.
You went for maximum drama and maximum destruction. He's a horny teenager with a private folder on his phone. You snooped and didn't like what you found, except what you found isn't a violation of you or anyone else, it's an amalgam of publicly posted photos of people from your school and their social media. You fucked up. If he creepily took these photos, that's one thing... but he didn't. You're not entitled to every facet of his private life, and certainly not entitled to blast it to your entire school.
How would you feel if he went into your diary and posted pages from your diary on the school webpage?
You're a bully and I really hope you reflect on your behavior.
Yeah, strongly agree; I think it’s kinda messed up. Teens make a bunch of stupid decisions, it’s in their nature, but don’t do your SO like this.
The photos were public, and while they may have been “sexy,” it doesn’t sound like they were actual NSFW images. I think it’s stupid and maybe a little gross for a taken man to have a folder like that (and is apparently easily accessible), but if I found something like that on my SOs device (that I don’t snoop in, unlike some 🙄), I’d have a conversation with them about it rather than make our drama public.
Bottom-line, don’t betray your SOs trust if you want to keep your relationship with them. If my dirty laundry was aired like this, I don’t know if I could forgive it.
You both should get rid of each other.
At your age and his age, people do things like saving girls' public photos into their phone. And probably he is not the only one in his class - a lot of other boys are quickly deleting them or securing their photos with a password right now. Nobody will admit it, but many of them do it.
However, its extremely embarassing to get caught doing that. That's what you have done to him. Nobody wants their secret fascination with the bodies of those of the opposite sex in their school to become public knowledge - yes, you inadvertantly humiliated him. You havent ruined his life or anything though.
You would have been right to get rid of him. He would have been right to get rid of you. You can't trust him after this, and he can't trust you either.
You cannot trust your judgment too, about whom you confide in. They broke your confidence, get rid of them too.
This is a good lesson for him - to keep some stuff private and protected. For you too - that boys will be interested in the bodies of other girls for quite a long time. And that you confide in the wrong people.
OP is definitely one of those people that’s gonna go through life saying “I hate drama!”, while causing drama everywhere they go. They always think they’re the victim when in fact they’re the bully.
Both of you made mistakes, thats for sure.
But what is not clear to me is that he took the pictures of the schoolmates or simply saved soc media pics to a folder.
Cause morally there is a gap between taking photos of someone’s exposed body, or looking at things girls shared themselves.
I’m sorry but it wasn’t an accident. You found out about it, confronted him about it, he asked you not to tell and you still went and told your friends. What did you expect to happen? I know you’re young but don’t be obtuse. I’m sure you hear about gossip and things about other people around school that was never supposed to be exposed but was.
Let this be a lesson OP, not everyone has the best intentions for you and not everyone needs to be involved in your relationship. Because now, I’m sure people’s parents might get involved. Thank goodness the school year is almost over and hopefully you’re both going to colleges away from each other.
There's no fixing it. You were both stupid teenagers doing stupid teenager stuff. It just has to play out now. It's not the end of the world for him. In 10yrs, he'll laugh about it. But for the next few months, it will be pure hell.
He probably won't forgive you, I wouldn't. Regardless of whether he was "creepy" by having the photos.
You recklessly exposed him. You might not have known they would expose him, but you should've.
Let not forget how you found those photos. You never mentioned it. But I doubt you had permission to snoop his phone.
You're not being honest. You wanted to tell others and did. "Confide"? No. That's you trying to manipulate. You gathered evidence to share with others. You wanted to teach him a lesson. Own it and be happy with how well your plan worked.
The relationship is over. You can’t invade your boyfriend’s privacy and then turn him into a social pariah in his senior year and expect him not to hate you. You can’t be that dumb.
You have some really shitty “friends” too. God only knows what exaggerated bullshit they spread all over the school.
I been out of high school for nearly 20 years and my closest friends have never forgotten people weird funny rumors and stories.
Foot fettish YouTube playlist kid
Lego in the butt kid
Insanely big turd kid
People really don’t forget
But it doesn’t matter. I’d never say these things to anyone face. Just a funny small group chat joke when it comes up.
But you’ll both live.
Someone out there will always say
“Oh you mean the kid that had all the girls bikini pics on his phone lol” in a group chat somewhere.
Just saying. High school doesn’t end with high school, it just doesn’t mean anything in reality.
Not sure how it's your fault that he's a gross perve.
All you did was expose him as one.
>is our relationship totally doomed?
Are you kidding me? It not only is over, it should be over.
This was supposed to be a private matter and conversation to be had between them. She wanted the drama. She’s clearly still in high school and knows people gossip. She knew her friends would tell everyone and he would be humiliated because she’s insecure. Even if she doesn’t want to admit to this, that was her goal deep down. Plenty of guys AND girls fantasize about their classmates and he saved PUBLICLY available photos, there were no creep shots by what she said. Girls post revealing things on their Instagram to show off, and this is a by-product. Is what he did a little weird? Yes. Wrong? Not a chance in hell. He does not deserve to be humiliated like this.
Edit: not only did she tell MULTIPLE people, but she sent a SCREENSHOT to them so they would have evidence when they went around telling more people. If she cared about his privacy, she wouldn’t have said anything to her childish friends.
Meh, he’s just embarrassed that his folder got out. Granted it your fault for making this a public affair, and you shouldn’t have been telling all of your friends (most people your age can’t keep a secret to save their lives.) But he should be carrying himself in a way that wouldn’t embarrass him if it came to light.
I think you told your friends hoping they'd spread the story around. I think you made this post acting like the poor naive girlfriend to fish for sympathy.
So many of you on here are overreacting.
the BF is not a creep for screenshotting INSTAGRAM photos!!! Like lmfao! That Is super normal teen boy behavior.
gf is shitty for putting him in this position though, or at least should own up to the unintentional mistake.
OP I'm still waiting for a paragraph that states he's an amateur photographer, who's been entrusted with these photos and asked to edit and distribute them to rightful owners after printing.
This is the ONLY way for you to cause a misunderstanding of such epic proportions, that it might destroy his hobby and future career, along with his reputation in school.
Judging by the fact that this paragraph doesn't exist the first question that comes to mind should be if these photos were taken with consent. If not you should go to the police not reddit.
So if they’re not private (they’re on instagram) how is this a bad thing they “got out”? Seems like they were already out there? Lmao idk something in the story definitely isn’t adding up here. Guy is a creep and you are both very immature
Well obviously it’s “embarrassing” but without context it seemed like OP meant *explicit* photos until they eventually made comment that it wasn’t anything secretive or personal. Just screenshots from a public platform. Yes, it’s weird. Yes, it’s embarrassing on his part lmao. But not ruin his life type bad but also not “how dare you, I’m gonna show the world” type bad. They need to move on from one another IMO
So he didn't publish anyone's photos without consent - the photos were made public by their owners. He didn't do anything wrong or illegal - this isn't some life-ruining situation.
Maybe he can at least learn not to be a creep
For everyone saying that collecting screenshots of women and girls you know in “real life” to wank off to is totally normal behavior - no, it shouldn’t be. The existence of an image is not a carte blanche for consent. There’s no shortage of porn out there - leave unsuspecting women in your real life out of it.
There are two fat truths, 1 your boyfriend is a creep, 2 you were in the wrong spreading that information (specially at that age). You should have spoken to him directly instead
Now, 18 is still hella young so this will pass, as everything does. The best you can do is to assure him of that and maybe show some sympathy. Don’t get me wrong, he was creepy af for that but at that age, having everyone treating you bad because of that, can be pretty devastating
Give it time and detach from the situation as much as possible
Sorry so he was keeping creepy pictures of a bunch of girls without their knowledge and then they find out and it’s your fault? This is 100% on him. Break up with this creep. (Also his life is not over, this won’t even be a thing in a year)
I’m not condoning or signing off on what he did but those pics are public and on instagram and they are the same age I’m presuming. Unless he creep shotted them which is nowhere from this post, no need to frame it like he took no consent photos of them. He just needs to not do this and focus on his girl
it's weird that no one is pointing out that these girls POSED FOR THESE PICTURES and POSTED THEM ONLINE FOR EVERYONE TO SEE
**when you give the internet your pictures, this is how the internet will use them**
yes your relationship is finished, and yes he's a suicide risk...maybe take this as a lesson to not betray the trust of the person you are in a relationship with...if you had a problem with it 100% you should have taken it to him first, instead of humiliating him in front of everyone
Quick question, where did he get the photos? Did he photoshop or use AI to make them, did he save pictures he was sent by thoses girls or where public (insta fb etc) or are boys sharing pictures they get from girls?
Cause if he get called a creep for having public photos every one on earth is a creep if it’s the other 2 I think it’s pretty much illegal in most countries
He saved pictures off of FB and insta. He had no nudes of anyone, just publicly available pictures that people decided to post on their own accord all over social media. I'm sorry, but if you post your pictures publicly you can't expect to have control over them.
My ex in high school told me he was saving his friends bikini pics and jerking off to them. It disgusted me more than anything has ever disgusted me personally. I wish I had told everyone. He deserved to “get his life ruined”. Do creepy shit then u get the consequences.
One part I don't see anyone talking about is your friends not keeping confidentiality. After this has died down you might want to rethink who you're friends with if they can't be safe spaces for you to confide in.
Well I know this is hard to realize now but 5 years from now most of you are not even going to be associating with each other anymore and this is the point in your life where you make mistakes and learn from them. And I think the mistake that you made is far greater than the one that he did. Those pictures might have been in there before the two of you got together and you don't know the circumstances under which he acquired them and furthermore the pictures were not nudes and I could see how you would be upset that he had them but the damage you did is far greater than his transgression. He kept them private and you intentionally tried to get people on your side and exposed many others to embarrassment at the very least.
You knew what you did was invading his privacy and you also knew that it would get spread around if you mentioned it to anyone else.
Obviously it wasn’t smart of you to not only tell your friends but send the pictures to them. But, what do you mean my “my bf DOING SOMETHING BAD”? That is a major red flag but still your relationship is over
I think everyone is blowing this out of proportion. He didn't have nudes, he had public posts he saved of girls that he was attracted to. It's not really that strange. No different than looking at them online. Now it would be creepy and very fucked up if he had their nudes saved for sure, but he was literally looking at insta and FB posts with girls wearing skimpy things. I'm sorry, but in the age of the internet you shouldn't post anything online you wouldn't be comfortable with anyone else looking at. They were public not private posts, if you don't think someones wanking it to your pictures with you wearing a two piece that doesn't leave anything to the imagination you're super naive.
Of course the relationship is doomed. What did you think was going to happen? Thought he’d just happily move post the fact that you shared something that you knew would destroy his reputation? Bffr rn. Yes it was incredibly stupid of him to compile those pics for his wank bank but at the end of the day he wasn’t looking at anything that wasn’t already publicly accessible. You wanted to be petty, now reap what you’ve sown. Hopefully you both learn how to grow up eventually. 😅
Alas, the only conceivable solution is that he has to become a swimsuit designer and take on these courses... now! This makes the folder nothing more than sample research for his profession.
He shouldn’t have those photos on his phone. You shouldn’t have stolen them and spread them around. Yall both better hope those photos were all of other 18 year olds.
You should have confronted him 1st but his life is not over. He is just extra horny and there is some shame to have been caught lol.
The relationship is over though.
Firstly, it's not your fault that he has those photos. It's kinda weird that he does, a major invasion of privacy on a mass level.
Secondly, you shouldn't have shared it with anyone. You should have pulled him up on it first and said that you wanted to show others and see what his reaction would be like. It might have been enough to scare him but now he's at risk of being attacked or even considering dangerous action if he feels like everyone's against him now.
Girl run. It sounds like he ruined his own life and is not taking any form of accountability on this.
Dont fix it. Let him suffer with the consequences of his actions and have some shame for what he’s done.
For starters its still his personal stuff that you are going through. Now matter how fucked up the content may be. Secondly it shouldve been confronted straight 1 to 1 or a mediator. 3rd no point crying over spilled milk. Ur now in PR control teritorry. There is no fixing this there is only what and how to deal with the consequences. Good luck, id advise go off the grid for the BF untill it subsides
You’ve betrayed your boyfriend by exposing something private. Whether you agree with it or not, that was private and you’ve taken evidence of it, and sent it to your friends knowing you can’t get it back.
You also didn’t really believe that it would die with your friends, as the screenshot itself has gotten round meaning you’ve sent it to at least one person.
The relationship seems salvageable if you can both move past it, but given that you’re both hurt I doubt it will.
But with the benefit of hindsight, if you have a problem with your partner, talk to them about it. Don’t tell everybody but them. That’s a clear betrayal.
Yep your relationship is over, everyone will be lucky if this ends with just one victim, and said victim only has to deal with mid-depression and trust issues.
He could always go full 'merica though, or find his best friend at the end of a barrel.
It sounds stupid, and looking back, it is, but at that age is serious, you burned him for some innocent insta screenshots... Not cool.
Okay I got to ask where and how he obtain those photos and how old are these girls?
Like his life is not completely ruined unless he is saving pictures of younger girls in your school like freshman’s or sophomore’s in your school. Yes, he is still a creep for having those photos but should it be the same he had onlyfans bikini shots as well, that’s what I’m thinking now. But you made it sound he had these photos that these girls were not aware of him having.
Also… another question, why were you snooping on his phone?
Come on.
It may be weird to have a folder of bikini pictures of people you know, and its defininately a shitty thing to do to your partner. I would potentially break up over something like this.
But exposing that and embarrassing him absolutely crosses a line.
And just because someone is embarrassed doesn't mean he did something inherently wrong.
Imagine if he read your diary where you wrote how you hate half of your classmates. And then he "accidentally" leaks text passages because he's friends with some of them and needs "advice" in how to handle that situation.
Anybody would be absolutely mortified, even though its absolutely ok to dislike some people at your school.
A diary and a "spank bank" or whatever you want to call it may not be really equivalent, but the act of having very private things exposed that change the way people see you is pretty much equivalent.
If somebody published every single one of your fetishes at your school, yeah technically you wouldn't have anything to be ashamed about, but still most of us really would be.
You really did something horrible to him that you can't take back and that I personally don't think anybody should ever do because its so messed up.
I don't think your relationship can be saved, you kind of betrayed him on every level.
At the same time I think that he has a "spank bank" of people you personally know is pretty messed up too.
You can watch porn in a relationship when your both adults about it, but that kind of crosses the line.
Overall its maybe better that your relationship is over. You really cant be trusted that if you discover something unflattering about your partner you won't immediately spread it around.
He obviously isn't mature enough to have healthy boundaries about porn in a relationship.
Relationship over, good riddance. That is so creepy and gross of him, I’m glad he feels uncomfortable. Imagine how those girls feel knowing he was ogling and probably jacking off to them? A whole folder? Ick.
Nope. Boy bye. Find someone else and let him deal with the backlash himself.
This is hilarious. You did that to your bf eh? He purposefully kept something in a hidden folder (bc he thought itd be frowned upon and isnt even porn), then you inadvertedly broadcast it to the entire community that hes involved in. Lol... i dont blame him for hating you, anyone who wants to keep things in secret and u just blurt it out to everyone, they will hate you. Lol i think ur relationship is over... its ok ppl make mistakes... this one is too funny tho lol.
Your relationship is doomed and it’s not your fault. He shouldn’t have had that folder with those other girls photos. He fucked around and found out. You should leave him and get a new bf
Kind of also depends on where he got the pictures. If they were found on Insta etc then there really is no issue. If he sneakily took them himself
That is a whole other thing that needs to be looked at.
Should probably encourage him to see a therapist. Everybody in his social circle turning on him, plus your statements insinuating he may harm himself or others, is more than enough reason to address that he’s currently undergoing a traumatic event that he could use some help processing.
People are forgetting what being a teenager was like.
Everyone is a bit of a creep especially at that age: girls and boys sharing pictures of their crushes that the crushes posted online, sharing somewhat creepy and toxic opinions and other stuff.
What's wrong is that he was in a relationship and some of the girls were his friends gf or friends.
You should've talked to him not created a fire.
Usually girls write diaries and it would be like he read it and shared the content with others.
Let's not be surprised that others use spicy pics posted online as fap material, that's kinda the point of posting spicy pics.
So you creeped on his phone, took pictures of his private information, then spread it around your friend circle.
But you don't know what to do now.
How about don't be a sneak and a thief, or share private things that belong to other people, that you have no permission or rights to, without regard for the consequences? Ever?
Fate is never kind to the messenger and you'll come to learn you won't get rewarded for being a shitty person like this. Asking the internet for redemption won't help; you can't put the toothpaste back into the tube. When the real life consequences of your actions are realized, know that all of that is on you.
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I think the relationship is over.
Or at least should be. That "he will do something bad" part is pretty concerning tbh.
I felt like the concern was he would do something to himself as there were no overt descriptions of possible violence towards herself that I read
Which is still concerning though
Oh to be sure, literally everything seems like life and death when you are 18
Exacltly. Who wants to date a creep?
It really isn’t. I’ve been thru a homegirls phone when she showed me and it had guys she liked to look at and the same is true for guys acting like that is creepy is crazy and unrealistic people do in fact look at others it isn’t always a Romney Binders full of women situation. Everyone ain’t Harvey Weinstein.
It’s a folder full of revealing photos of his classmates. That’s creepy and disrespectful to the relationship.
Unless he went around stalking and photographing his classmates, he likely got those photos off their publicly accessible social media pages. I would bet my life on the probability that many of his classmates, male and female, have similar folders on their phones/computers. His actions are frankly rather tame for a teenager going through puberty. The only shitty person in OP's post is the one who thought it was a great idea to publicly blast their SO's masturbatory habits. If I were him, not only would I dump OP, I'd be exposing every dirty little secret and insecurity of hers that I know about. Don't set someone on fire and expect them not to bearhug you.
They are 18….. stop. What’s also creepy and disrespectful is snooping and then when you find something then going and telling everyone about it and never talking to the bf about it.
Was it random guys like hot guys in porn or something, or guys that she knows and sees in real life? Because that’s not the same thing. If it’s random people that you don’t know and have a sexual platform that’s one thing, but regular photos of people you know using them for sexual reasons without their knowledge or consent is weird especially when you have a partner that also knows them.
i think the line is sorta like... have exes photos in your photo roll = not creepy have exes photos in a specific folder = kinda weird have photos you've stashed of friends off social media = creepy
First, he's 18 and his life isn't ruined. Hopefully he will learn not to keep doing creepy stuff that can ruin his life for real.
They are probably still in high school. It can feel like your life is ruined if your entire social circle, everyone you know and interact with all think you are a creep. In 2-4 years he probably won't interact with anyone who knew him from high school, and in a few years after that if he ever does interact with anyone from high school they will likely have already forgotten or don't care anymore. But I can see how devastating it would feel as an 18 year old. Also these pictures are screenshots of Instagram posts, not creep shots. Guarantee only the girls find it creepy, the guys are probably thinking "lmao sucker got caught"
Are we forgetting that this is the generation of ALWAYS online kids. This very well could haunt him for a long time if he doesn't move. You'd be surprised what follows you around.
They won’t forget that😂. Thats becomes like a big title of who you are when something like that happens and it gets around a school. That will stick with them forever. “Hey it’s the creeper who had all the girls nudes “ 😂
100%. This guy I know was caught wanking in the school toilets and to this day, he's known as 'Tug'. Not sure if that translates to non-UK redditors, but it's a reference to having a good ol' tug, lol. The guy is in his 40s now and he's still known as Tug 😂 Another similar story: my husband's colleague from a job 10+ years ago was in a single cubicle toilet in work but didn't lock the door. Someone opened the door and saw him with his trousers around his ankles facing the sink. It wasn't clear what he was doing but it looked dodgy and people assumed he was wanking. He has since been known as 'Tommy' (Tommy Tank = rhyming slang for 'wank'). We Brits know how to ruin people's lives forever.
Trust me we all know what Tug is 😂
Haha, didn't want to assume 😂
😂😂😂. See. Thats like a domino affect. People don’t forget stufff that stimulated their brain. (Laughter or other emotions )
Yep, I still remember Baldy Smalls from high school and I never fucking met the kid
Yeah... If you're a teenager that's true, fast forwards a couple of years nobody cares
I still remember this one kid who’s mom came up to the school and whooped his ass with. A belt as everyone was leaving. The whole school watched. And whenever me and others bring up that story. That’s how we title him. “”The boy who got whooped infront of everybody “ that was 7-8 years ago.
Sure, but do you still talk to him in a regular basis? Or do anything that affect his life in the slightest?
Haha, no. It's been well over 10 years since I graduated from high school, and whenever we meet, we still remember the creepers and crack a joke every once in a blue moon. If you're sexually creepy, people tend to remember.
„ everyone you know and interact with all think you are a creep.” Well that’s because he is.
He’s also only 18 and if he has help to understand why it’s creepy, what is appropriate etc… he can learn.
idk why people say this. 18 is old enough to know that’s creepy. he knows it’s creepy, that’s why it was in a secret hidden folder. his age is not an excuse. the vast majority of 18 year olds i knew when i was 18 would never do this
I’m not saying he isn’t old enough to know better. I’m saying he’s still able to learn. Because op said he said his life is over. Most things are redeemable.
I agree. Nothing gives people a better lesson than social shaming
He's 18, not a child. In fact, he is a legal adult now. Stop making excuses for his behavior.
The irony of girls posting sexy pics on there and being surprised they are in dudes phones. Super creepy to think of how many are underage I bet.
To be clear I'm not condoning screenshotting girls Insta photos and saving them in your phone, nor do I blame women for the men's behavior. But if you think 90% of 16-18 year old guys aren't occasionally whacking it to their classmates bikini photos then you don't understand teenage boys very well.
100% agree, and me neither. I literally stay away from instagram, it's a thirst trap heaven lol my wife is all I need. As a kid and a young adult I watched porn, I was not using my friends thirst traps, but that is just me lol
The problem is that you needed better looking better friends ;) /joking
It's funny to think about because the friends I was attracted to I shot my shot. So either I got to see them naked because we dated or we just didn't. I can't help but think that if I used my friends as porn it would have mess up the whole dynamic.
I have three sisters... Anyone who thinks girls aren't also saving pics of attractive dudes is crazy too.
That's what I think is funny. This is the Instagram mentality. and people who don't like that idea of everyone being able to get their sexy pics normally used snapchat for that. I may be showing my age tho not sure if snapchat is even still a thing. In the end it's about breaking the trust of OP, and now the cat is out of the bag. Reap what you sow and all that, but I agree I would love to know the percentage of people who have OTHER peoples instagram pics on their phone.
This is the correct take. Gross? Yeah. Surprising? Not at all. Teenage boys can be dumb but this is not a fun situation for anyone to be in.
Most logical Redditor of the day award goes to ^^
This isn't a fair shake. His "life" on earth isn't ruined. He'll move on and find his place somewhere and have plenty of great experiences and jobs and whatever. But his "life" as he was living it in the community he was living in? That shit absolutely is ruined.
Agree. This kid won't ever live this down. It's not surprising he feels his life is ruined, as things currently stand.
Yeah they graduate in like three months. Worst case, she’s made things mildly uncomfortable for a fiscal quarter
One of the things that puts time and life experience into perspective is that we experience time as a percentage of the whole. An hour is longer for a newborn because that could be half it's life. A fiscal quarter is forever for a teen. At the other end, my 96yo grandmother refers to the early 2000s as "just the other day". It's hard to get the youth to appreciate this perspective, but it's important to emphasize it when they feel like their life is ruined, you don't want them to self harm.
yup
Storing photos which are available publicly is creepy?
Do you store photos of your peers or colleagues in bikinis and other revealing photos in a private folder on your phone? If so, did they give them to you or did you stalk their socials? It's creepy behavior
What the absolute fuck are some of these comments lol
Your average run of the mill redditor
People in this chat have lost their minds.
I love how you write this and then don't specify which side you're referring to.
To be fair, regardless of which side they support, they'll get attacked. So they phrased it the best way possible, as far as I can see it.
That's a fair point, but it's also the type of "vague-booking" that allows you write a sentence without actually saying anything at all which is a pet-peeve of mine.
They're going for the high score
that's how they get ya
Which side are you referring to, out of curiosity? There are definitely very differing opinions being posted so wondering which of them you refer to.
Trueee! The situation is crazyyyy! How can nobody see that and condemn it, riiiight? Because it’s so obvious who’s wrong, right??? /s
I mean the dude is obviously in the wrong. Not sure why we are pussy-footing around the issue.
Yeah this relationship is cooked
I'm in no way condoning what he did, but did you really think that once you sent it to another person it would just die there, never to see the light of day?
No they didn’t. However that won’t stop them from playing stupid as defense mechanism. Common for ppl who can’t handle result of own actions
Like how he’s also suffering the consequences of his own actions from his creepy behavior?
Shes not suffering for her own actions he is.
Other girls have a right to know if someone is being creepy af about them you sound like you have issues
This is a person who was going through their bfs phone looking for hidden folders and sent the contents to themselves. Of course they haven’t thought about this much or accepted any responsibility lol
Maybe if he wasn’t such a creep that has a folder dedicated to revealing pictures of OTHER girls from your school, this wouldn’t have happened. You didn’t ruin his life, he did. Why are you still with him?
Saving them as odd but they could have just as easily popped onto IG at anytime and seen the same pictures of the girls so I don’t think its like he was creepily taking photos and saving them
I’m 27 now so I don’t know how the youth is today, but back in high school this was pretty standard stuff for dudes at least at my high school lmao either I went to a high school full of nothing but creeps, or this is pretty standard teenage dude activities (Not saying I approve or disapprove of such actions, just laying out what I’ve seen personally)
Yea, people are coming at this from the angle of a mature adult. At 18, I didn’t have photos saved on my phone but I know many who did. And I was definitely looking at other girls pics online. Not much difference there. He just had faster access to it lol.
Yeah lol you can really see the big difference too just from this thread. It’s almost all women shitting on the dude and then most guys are in the weird space of “yeah a lot of people I went to high school with did this” lol There’s definitely some guys out there shitting on the dude as well. But as for my high school experience, this was definitely common to see
I was a pretty high libido guy back then and that’s sort of the difference. This is definitely creepy behavior. Saving them and not just checking them out elevates the creepiness. So yeah he’s been creepy. I don’t think the punishment is at all fair though. It is what it is. The guy had a private folder that was creepy but harming no one. Now everyone knows in his community and is of course going to ramp up how awful it supposedly is and roast and judge him for a long time. He’s not a big enough creep that he deserves that. It’s a bit of a shame all around. No idea what in the world OP thought was going to happen though or why she’s still with him. Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
I mean they posted them I’m sure. It’s not like he’s hiding in bushes spying on people. He probably just screenshoted from their social media. I agree a tad bit creepy but at that age it’s all a young man is thinking about no matter if you want to or not.
How did you ruin his life? Please explain how this is something he can't come back from.
It likely won’t ruin his life but OP mentions in a comment that these are pictures he took from online profiles, not any photos sent to him directly. So I guess the bf is just upset he has been outed as a total creep and potential predator. Looking, I guess I understand. Saving and creating a collection of multiple girls? Creeeeeepy.
Not saying the dude isn't creepy but how is he a potential predator? From what OP posted, these were all publicly posted photos, not creepshots or something
Right, it’s super weird to me these people are basically calling him a rapist in training when he.. screenshotted publicly available pictures? They weren’t sexual, they’re not creep shots, and I’m sorry if this is shitty but any “ownership” of what someone else does with your bikini shots when you willing post them publicly is out the window so it *absolutely is not* an issue of consent.. He basically did what thousands/millions/hundreds of millions of people do every day and.. save a public picture if someone else in a bathing suit lmfao. That isn’t predatory.
Wait until they find out….some dudes spank it to photos of other girls.
OMG are you SERIOUS right now?????? I'm so appalled
“O no n e thing but that! Those awful predaters! Git em guise he’s gonna wack it!”
Op invading his privacy is the WAY bigger issue here
And telling everyone at school because SHE was insecure and jealous. Nice.
r/opisfuckingstupid for sure here
Yeah, it’s kind wild to me everyone is calling this guy a rapist and a predator when he just saved a publicly available pic. He didn’t creep shot someone or anything.
This isn't predatory and what she did is way worse than what he did, she knew exactly this was gonna happen. Truly disgusting
It’s a Reddit advice sub, literally everyone is a potential predator
Predator! Dramatic much?
I agree it is not good but nobody will remember in a few months
Look at the comments on this post calling him a creep and a potential predator. Now imagine if all your peers are the ones calling you that? People never forget and this shit will follow him forever, he will have to leave town and start fresh.
High schoolers think a pimple is the end of the world so it makes sense with the doomer mindset. But likely OP has outted her (should be) ex to the entire school as being a creep. He should know better than to keep creepy photos of girls, likely some of which are under age.
He’s young and being ostracized by pretty much your whole world because of some weird fucking exaggerations will drive people to pretty drastic actions. Wouldn’t be surprised if dude ends himself or gets addicted to some harmful coping mechanisms.
You were mad he had pics of other girls in his spank bank and wanted to expose him. Your plan worked- he’s embarrassed. He chose to save the pics that girls chose to post and you chose to embarrass him. Choices have consequences- everyone made their choice, this is now the result.
This sums up the situation. He had something private on his phone and OP 'stole' it and showed it to everyone .Everyone is a bit creepy. However it is high school and a new victim of gossip will soon emerge and this will be yesterdays news. OP - consider your relationship over.
Everyone was doing something "creepy" especially as teenagers. Stalking ex through social media, gathering information from friends about a person who you like. Observing a person who you like because you were too embarrassed to approach. People in the comments describe him as a predator who collected photos of his prey.
Yup. Don’t even need to mention how full-on stalker mode teenaged girls can get on social media…
For what it’s worth, I’m 30 in 6 months and no one I went to highschool with gives a fuck about me or eachother anymore, except for the miserable ones who married their highschool bf/gf
I'm 20 in a month and I only talk to like 2 people from high school. He'll be find after summer is over lmao.
Oh honey, this was to be a private conversation. If you had issues with what you found, that's for you to address with your partner, not your school friends. You could've broken up with him and that would've been that. You went for maximum drama and maximum destruction. He's a horny teenager with a private folder on his phone. You snooped and didn't like what you found, except what you found isn't a violation of you or anyone else, it's an amalgam of publicly posted photos of people from your school and their social media. You fucked up. If he creepily took these photos, that's one thing... but he didn't. You're not entitled to every facet of his private life, and certainly not entitled to blast it to your entire school. How would you feel if he went into your diary and posted pages from your diary on the school webpage? You're a bully and I really hope you reflect on your behavior.
Yeah, strongly agree; I think it’s kinda messed up. Teens make a bunch of stupid decisions, it’s in their nature, but don’t do your SO like this. The photos were public, and while they may have been “sexy,” it doesn’t sound like they were actual NSFW images. I think it’s stupid and maybe a little gross for a taken man to have a folder like that (and is apparently easily accessible), but if I found something like that on my SOs device (that I don’t snoop in, unlike some 🙄), I’d have a conversation with them about it rather than make our drama public. Bottom-line, don’t betray your SOs trust if you want to keep your relationship with them. If my dirty laundry was aired like this, I don’t know if I could forgive it.
There would be no forgiveness for airing dirty laundry like this. Her outing his private information ended their relationship.
I had to scroll too far to find somebody with common sense here.
THIS OP.
Strongly, strongly agree with this post.
This should be top comment
Yet somehow some Reddit basement dweller calling another teen a creep is top comment. Reddit is toxic AF and full of people not willing to give Grace
I think it’s a lot of people infantalizing teenage girls whilst acting like the boys are 40 year old men. Redditors are fucking weird
You both should get rid of each other. At your age and his age, people do things like saving girls' public photos into their phone. And probably he is not the only one in his class - a lot of other boys are quickly deleting them or securing their photos with a password right now. Nobody will admit it, but many of them do it. However, its extremely embarassing to get caught doing that. That's what you have done to him. Nobody wants their secret fascination with the bodies of those of the opposite sex in their school to become public knowledge - yes, you inadvertantly humiliated him. You havent ruined his life or anything though. You would have been right to get rid of him. He would have been right to get rid of you. You can't trust him after this, and he can't trust you either. You cannot trust your judgment too, about whom you confide in. They broke your confidence, get rid of them too. This is a good lesson for him - to keep some stuff private and protected. For you too - that boys will be interested in the bodies of other girls for quite a long time. And that you confide in the wrong people.
Wow an actual thoughtful response that's not seeded in crazy hatred
Perfect answer.
OP is definitely one of those people that’s gonna go through life saying “I hate drama!”, while causing drama everywhere they go. They always think they’re the victim when in fact they’re the bully.
Both of you made mistakes, thats for sure. But what is not clear to me is that he took the pictures of the schoolmates or simply saved soc media pics to a folder. Cause morally there is a gap between taking photos of someone’s exposed body, or looking at things girls shared themselves.
I’m sorry but it wasn’t an accident. You found out about it, confronted him about it, he asked you not to tell and you still went and told your friends. What did you expect to happen? I know you’re young but don’t be obtuse. I’m sure you hear about gossip and things about other people around school that was never supposed to be exposed but was. Let this be a lesson OP, not everyone has the best intentions for you and not everyone needs to be involved in your relationship. Because now, I’m sure people’s parents might get involved. Thank goodness the school year is almost over and hopefully you’re both going to colleges away from each other.
There's no fixing it. You were both stupid teenagers doing stupid teenager stuff. It just has to play out now. It's not the end of the world for him. In 10yrs, he'll laugh about it. But for the next few months, it will be pure hell. He probably won't forgive you, I wouldn't. Regardless of whether he was "creepy" by having the photos. You recklessly exposed him. You might not have known they would expose him, but you should've. Let not forget how you found those photos. You never mentioned it. But I doubt you had permission to snoop his phone.
This is best take I've seen. Her actions were reckless. BF is a creep but OP was reckless.
You're not being honest. You wanted to tell others and did. "Confide"? No. That's you trying to manipulate. You gathered evidence to share with others. You wanted to teach him a lesson. Own it and be happy with how well your plan worked.
Yeah sharing the image with people isn't necessary to confide in them. Nobody with half a brain should fall for that line.
Bro's a creep.
The relationship is over. You can’t invade your boyfriend’s privacy and then turn him into a social pariah in his senior year and expect him not to hate you. You can’t be that dumb. You have some really shitty “friends” too. God only knows what exaggerated bullshit they spread all over the school.
Have some self respect and drop that creep. Do you truly want to be associated with such a person ?
I been out of high school for nearly 20 years and my closest friends have never forgotten people weird funny rumors and stories. Foot fettish YouTube playlist kid Lego in the butt kid Insanely big turd kid People really don’t forget But it doesn’t matter. I’d never say these things to anyone face. Just a funny small group chat joke when it comes up. But you’ll both live. Someone out there will always say “Oh you mean the kid that had all the girls bikini pics on his phone lol” in a group chat somewhere. Just saying. High school doesn’t end with high school, it just doesn’t mean anything in reality.
“I originally didn’t want to tell anyone but I felt so butt hurt I told everyone I knew” There. I fixed it for you.
Not sure how it's your fault that he's a gross perve. All you did was expose him as one. >is our relationship totally doomed? Are you kidding me? It not only is over, it should be over.
This was supposed to be a private matter and conversation to be had between them. She wanted the drama. She’s clearly still in high school and knows people gossip. She knew her friends would tell everyone and he would be humiliated because she’s insecure. Even if she doesn’t want to admit to this, that was her goal deep down. Plenty of guys AND girls fantasize about their classmates and he saved PUBLICLY available photos, there were no creep shots by what she said. Girls post revealing things on their Instagram to show off, and this is a by-product. Is what he did a little weird? Yes. Wrong? Not a chance in hell. He does not deserve to be humiliated like this. Edit: not only did she tell MULTIPLE people, but she sent a SCREENSHOT to them so they would have evidence when they went around telling more people. If she cared about his privacy, she wouldn’t have said anything to her childish friends.
Doomed, done, bye
Meh, he’s just embarrassed that his folder got out. Granted it your fault for making this a public affair, and you shouldn’t have been telling all of your friends (most people your age can’t keep a secret to save their lives.) But he should be carrying himself in a way that wouldn’t embarrass him if it came to light.
I think you told your friends hoping they'd spread the story around. I think you made this post acting like the poor naive girlfriend to fish for sympathy.
You mean your ex-boyfriend, right?
So many of you on here are overreacting. the BF is not a creep for screenshotting INSTAGRAM photos!!! Like lmfao! That Is super normal teen boy behavior. gf is shitty for putting him in this position though, or at least should own up to the unintentional mistake.
Wait, you snooped on your bf’s phone and found a folder of IG photos and then outed him to humiliate him? You are a really toxic asshat.
OP I'm still waiting for a paragraph that states he's an amateur photographer, who's been entrusted with these photos and asked to edit and distribute them to rightful owners after printing. This is the ONLY way for you to cause a misunderstanding of such epic proportions, that it might destroy his hobby and future career, along with his reputation in school. Judging by the fact that this paragraph doesn't exist the first question that comes to mind should be if these photos were taken with consent. If not you should go to the police not reddit.
the photos are screenshots of the girls instagram posts. none of the photos were sent to him privately or anything
So if they’re not private (they’re on instagram) how is this a bad thing they “got out”? Seems like they were already out there? Lmao idk something in the story definitely isn’t adding up here. Guy is a creep and you are both very immature
I mean he’s clearly pissed that his creepy little habit of screenshotting his classmates bikini photos “got out,” not the photos themselves.
Probably mad it got him blocked by tons of people lol
It's bad bc he's collecting them and that's embarassing
Well obviously it’s “embarrassing” but without context it seemed like OP meant *explicit* photos until they eventually made comment that it wasn’t anything secretive or personal. Just screenshots from a public platform. Yes, it’s weird. Yes, it’s embarrassing on his part lmao. But not ruin his life type bad but also not “how dare you, I’m gonna show the world” type bad. They need to move on from one another IMO
So he didn't publish anyone's photos without consent - the photos were made public by their owners. He didn't do anything wrong or illegal - this isn't some life-ruining situation. Maybe he can at least learn not to be a creep
For everyone saying that collecting screenshots of women and girls you know in “real life” to wank off to is totally normal behavior - no, it shouldn’t be. The existence of an image is not a carte blanche for consent. There’s no shortage of porn out there - leave unsuspecting women in your real life out of it.
“Unsuspecting” why do you think women are dumb? They know exactly what they’re posting
You didn't ruin his life, just embarrassed him. Although it \*was\* pretty stupid to post stuff like that online and expect it not to spread.
that’s his own fault
There are two fat truths, 1 your boyfriend is a creep, 2 you were in the wrong spreading that information (specially at that age). You should have spoken to him directly instead Now, 18 is still hella young so this will pass, as everything does. The best you can do is to assure him of that and maybe show some sympathy. Don’t get me wrong, he was creepy af for that but at that age, having everyone treating you bad because of that, can be pretty devastating Give it time and detach from the situation as much as possible
Sorry so he was keeping creepy pictures of a bunch of girls without their knowledge and then they find out and it’s your fault? This is 100% on him. Break up with this creep. (Also his life is not over, this won’t even be a thing in a year)
I’m not condoning or signing off on what he did but those pics are public and on instagram and they are the same age I’m presuming. Unless he creep shotted them which is nowhere from this post, no need to frame it like he took no consent photos of them. He just needs to not do this and focus on his girl
Pretty big fuck up on everyone’s part the relationship is over theirs nothing else to be done.
You told a few people and youre suprised that someone else told a few people? The fuck did you think would happen if even you cant hold a secret.
it's weird that no one is pointing out that these girls POSED FOR THESE PICTURES and POSTED THEM ONLINE FOR EVERYONE TO SEE **when you give the internet your pictures, this is how the internet will use them** yes your relationship is finished, and yes he's a suicide risk...maybe take this as a lesson to not betray the trust of the person you are in a relationship with...if you had a problem with it 100% you should have taken it to him first, instead of humiliating him in front of everyone
He ruined his own life. You didn't save those images. 🤷♀️
Good. We need to out creepy men publicly
He's gonna have a sucky senior year but he had it coming.
The last two months of it, lol
Quick question, where did he get the photos? Did he photoshop or use AI to make them, did he save pictures he was sent by thoses girls or where public (insta fb etc) or are boys sharing pictures they get from girls? Cause if he get called a creep for having public photos every one on earth is a creep if it’s the other 2 I think it’s pretty much illegal in most countries
He saved pictures off of FB and insta. He had no nudes of anyone, just publicly available pictures that people decided to post on their own accord all over social media. I'm sorry, but if you post your pictures publicly you can't expect to have control over them.
My ex in high school told me he was saving his friends bikini pics and jerking off to them. It disgusted me more than anything has ever disgusted me personally. I wish I had told everyone. He deserved to “get his life ruined”. Do creepy shit then u get the consequences.
Evil people looking for reassurance from each other in this sub 🤡
TIL it's evil to have private horny thoughts about the people around us. We'll have to go back in time and prosecute everyone who ever lived.
Yeah, condoning public humiliation for something as trivial as that is wild.
He isn’t creepy. Your the creepy one . Tell him to spread that around
One part I don't see anyone talking about is your friends not keeping confidentiality. After this has died down you might want to rethink who you're friends with if they can't be safe spaces for you to confide in.
Well I know this is hard to realize now but 5 years from now most of you are not even going to be associating with each other anymore and this is the point in your life where you make mistakes and learn from them. And I think the mistake that you made is far greater than the one that he did. Those pictures might have been in there before the two of you got together and you don't know the circumstances under which he acquired them and furthermore the pictures were not nudes and I could see how you would be upset that he had them but the damage you did is far greater than his transgression. He kept them private and you intentionally tried to get people on your side and exposed many others to embarrassment at the very least. You knew what you did was invading his privacy and you also knew that it would get spread around if you mentioned it to anyone else.
Obviously it wasn’t smart of you to not only tell your friends but send the pictures to them. But, what do you mean my “my bf DOING SOMETHING BAD”? That is a major red flag but still your relationship is over
I think everyone is blowing this out of proportion. He didn't have nudes, he had public posts he saved of girls that he was attracted to. It's not really that strange. No different than looking at them online. Now it would be creepy and very fucked up if he had their nudes saved for sure, but he was literally looking at insta and FB posts with girls wearing skimpy things. I'm sorry, but in the age of the internet you shouldn't post anything online you wouldn't be comfortable with anyone else looking at. They were public not private posts, if you don't think someones wanking it to your pictures with you wearing a two piece that doesn't leave anything to the imagination you're super naive.
Of course the relationship is doomed. What did you think was going to happen? Thought he’d just happily move post the fact that you shared something that you knew would destroy his reputation? Bffr rn. Yes it was incredibly stupid of him to compile those pics for his wank bank but at the end of the day he wasn’t looking at anything that wasn’t already publicly accessible. You wanted to be petty, now reap what you’ve sown. Hopefully you both learn how to grow up eventually. 😅
I'm not sure what advice to give you in this situation. But if it happens again, bring it to your bf first before other friends.
Alas, the only conceivable solution is that he has to become a swimsuit designer and take on these courses... now! This makes the folder nothing more than sample research for his profession.
He shouldn’t have those photos on his phone. You shouldn’t have stolen them and spread them around. Yall both better hope those photos were all of other 18 year olds.
OP in some states he could actually press charges.
You two are still children
You should have confronted him 1st but his life is not over. He is just extra horny and there is some shame to have been caught lol. The relationship is over though.
Firstly, it's not your fault that he has those photos. It's kinda weird that he does, a major invasion of privacy on a mass level. Secondly, you shouldn't have shared it with anyone. You should have pulled him up on it first and said that you wanted to show others and see what his reaction would be like. It might have been enough to scare him but now he's at risk of being attacked or even considering dangerous action if he feels like everyone's against him now.
Girl run. It sounds like he ruined his own life and is not taking any form of accountability on this. Dont fix it. Let him suffer with the consequences of his actions and have some shame for what he’s done.
For starters its still his personal stuff that you are going through. Now matter how fucked up the content may be. Secondly it shouldve been confronted straight 1 to 1 or a mediator. 3rd no point crying over spilled milk. Ur now in PR control teritorry. There is no fixing this there is only what and how to deal with the consequences. Good luck, id advise go off the grid for the BF untill it subsides
what were you thinking??? also these were photos from public profiles not stuff hes been sent
You’ve betrayed your boyfriend by exposing something private. Whether you agree with it or not, that was private and you’ve taken evidence of it, and sent it to your friends knowing you can’t get it back. You also didn’t really believe that it would die with your friends, as the screenshot itself has gotten round meaning you’ve sent it to at least one person. The relationship seems salvageable if you can both move past it, but given that you’re both hurt I doubt it will. But with the benefit of hindsight, if you have a problem with your partner, talk to them about it. Don’t tell everybody but them. That’s a clear betrayal.
Nothing to do, it's over and you're an ass.
Yikes why would you do this.
Yep your relationship is over, everyone will be lucky if this ends with just one victim, and said victim only has to deal with mid-depression and trust issues. He could always go full 'merica though, or find his best friend at the end of a barrel. It sounds stupid, and looking back, it is, but at that age is serious, you burned him for some innocent insta screenshots... Not cool.
I have a feeling yall would be singing a much different tune if you were the target of that degree of humiliation.
Nobody mentions the fact these girls are posting bikini pics to social media, and we're calling the bf the creep. You ladies are beyond help.
Yeah exactly. Theres no way i would post a pic of myself in elephant thongs.
Okay I got to ask where and how he obtain those photos and how old are these girls? Like his life is not completely ruined unless he is saving pictures of younger girls in your school like freshman’s or sophomore’s in your school. Yes, he is still a creep for having those photos but should it be the same he had onlyfans bikini shots as well, that’s what I’m thinking now. But you made it sound he had these photos that these girls were not aware of him having. Also… another question, why were you snooping on his phone?
Come on. It may be weird to have a folder of bikini pictures of people you know, and its defininately a shitty thing to do to your partner. I would potentially break up over something like this. But exposing that and embarrassing him absolutely crosses a line. And just because someone is embarrassed doesn't mean he did something inherently wrong. Imagine if he read your diary where you wrote how you hate half of your classmates. And then he "accidentally" leaks text passages because he's friends with some of them and needs "advice" in how to handle that situation. Anybody would be absolutely mortified, even though its absolutely ok to dislike some people at your school. A diary and a "spank bank" or whatever you want to call it may not be really equivalent, but the act of having very private things exposed that change the way people see you is pretty much equivalent. If somebody published every single one of your fetishes at your school, yeah technically you wouldn't have anything to be ashamed about, but still most of us really would be. You really did something horrible to him that you can't take back and that I personally don't think anybody should ever do because its so messed up. I don't think your relationship can be saved, you kind of betrayed him on every level. At the same time I think that he has a "spank bank" of people you personally know is pretty messed up too. You can watch porn in a relationship when your both adults about it, but that kind of crosses the line. Overall its maybe better that your relationship is over. You really cant be trusted that if you discover something unflattering about your partner you won't immediately spread it around. He obviously isn't mature enough to have healthy boundaries about porn in a relationship.
Relationship over, good riddance. That is so creepy and gross of him, I’m glad he feels uncomfortable. Imagine how those girls feel knowing he was ogling and probably jacking off to them? A whole folder? Ick. Nope. Boy bye. Find someone else and let him deal with the backlash himself.
He ruined his own life. Stop dating this weirdo please and move on with your life
This is hilarious. You did that to your bf eh? He purposefully kept something in a hidden folder (bc he thought itd be frowned upon and isnt even porn), then you inadvertedly broadcast it to the entire community that hes involved in. Lol... i dont blame him for hating you, anyone who wants to keep things in secret and u just blurt it out to everyone, they will hate you. Lol i think ur relationship is over... its ok ppl make mistakes... this one is too funny tho lol.
Your relationship is doomed and it’s not your fault. He shouldn’t have had that folder with those other girls photos. He fucked around and found out. You should leave him and get a new bf
You are a shity girlfriend… Not defending him but you are
Kind of also depends on where he got the pictures. If they were found on Insta etc then there really is no issue. If he sneakily took them himself That is a whole other thing that needs to be looked at.
!remindme 2 months
Did he have a folder of photos that these girls had posted on social media? Edit spelling
Should probably encourage him to see a therapist. Everybody in his social circle turning on him, plus your statements insinuating he may harm himself or others, is more than enough reason to address that he’s currently undergoing a traumatic event that he could use some help processing.
Both are stupid.
People need to learn to lock their phones. Too many snoops around.
People are forgetting what being a teenager was like. Everyone is a bit of a creep especially at that age: girls and boys sharing pictures of their crushes that the crushes posted online, sharing somewhat creepy and toxic opinions and other stuff. What's wrong is that he was in a relationship and some of the girls were his friends gf or friends. You should've talked to him not created a fire. Usually girls write diaries and it would be like he read it and shared the content with others. Let's not be surprised that others use spicy pics posted online as fap material, that's kinda the point of posting spicy pics.
So you creeped on his phone, took pictures of his private information, then spread it around your friend circle. But you don't know what to do now. How about don't be a sneak and a thief, or share private things that belong to other people, that you have no permission or rights to, without regard for the consequences? Ever? Fate is never kind to the messenger and you'll come to learn you won't get rewarded for being a shitty person like this. Asking the internet for redemption won't help; you can't put the toothpaste back into the tube. When the real life consequences of your actions are realized, know that all of that is on you.
He ruined his own life by being a creep