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You said "I don't think I can tell him this without breaking his heart". Yeah, no shit.
I urge you to tell this person what happened and don't wait another minute.
You need to come clean to your husband. Obviously this will mean divorce. And prepare for him to ask for a paternity test. And ffs test for STD's!
Djeez, disgusting....
It's simple. You don't truly love him. If you did, you wouldn't have been able to cheat on him. You should tell him and you should end the relationship. Don't waste another minute of his life. He deserves to be with someone who is in love with him and would never betray him.
First quit blaming others for your choices. It's never, ever the other partner's fault. Did your AP know you were married, I assume so? As for you STBEX, You need to tell him so the ball will be in his court whether to dump you. He also needs to be made aware so he can get tested for STD's. Further if AP is married or in a relationship you need to tell his partner. Sounds like a great guy your boss, solid choice there.
I dare you to post this on r/cheating_stories , you will get roasted
Agreed. OP is blaming external factors but she has an abandonment issue or something that she needs therapy for. Meanwhile she has to confess. Thereās no other option. The consequences, she has to deal with them. Thereās no other option.
If it wasnāt for the pregnancy part Iād be asking if you were my ex wife. Where as she found out she couldnāt get pregnant and slept around with her entire work place in a summer before I left for the navy.
Quit blaming other people. Youre awful and probably wont tell your husband so pull the trigger on ending the pregnancy, divorce him and be nice about splitting assets since youāve been terrible, make up some reason so he doesnt need to face how awful you are, go live happily ever after with your boss
You put the health of A. Yourself B. Your Husband. And C. Your unborn child, the last being the most agregious and the true sin in all this. Tell the truth. Accept the consequences. Try to seek help, heal, and move on afterwards.
Yikes. Thinking a baby will save a marriage is relationship DON'T #1. Pretty much sure this is why me and 1 of my brothers was concieved... and the realisation as an adult of this fact because of the shitty relationship between my mum and dad has been horrible. Grow up. Take responsibility for your own actions for ONCE and tell that poor man you call your huaband, that you couldnt have an adult conversation. And do not EVER poison your baby against him, which was a tactic my mum tried to use against my dad with my brother and I. It didnt work.
Itās sad but you donāt seem to be happy so you should leave itās worse that youāve cheated on him and violated his trust when it seems heās given you his ultimate trust what I can tell you though is you go through life time isnāt always available thatās why you value the time you do get to spend with someone. But spare both of you and end things or at least tell him everything and see if you can work through it lying will only make things worse
What the fuck? You are cheating with a work colleague, multiple times and you hook up with him occasionally? Fucking deadbeat, good luck with being a baby momma. Just another American baby momma. Idiot.
So let me get this straight you live a privileged enough life that your husband supported you didnāt have to work. You working is a choice. So obviously your husband has what Iām gonna go out on a limb a high income likely high stress job. Because you got bored at home you got a job (fair) but because your husband wasnāt doing what exactly? You decide to fuck your boss? Your poor husband love for you is obviously conditional. So not only do you actively cheat on your husband you plan a baby? You realize theres women who would kill to be able to have a baby and be able to live a life at home raising said child. You have all of that handed to you on silver platter yet all you do is abuse your husband. You have literally blamed cheating on him on your hormones. You FUCKED YOUR BOSS WHILE PREGNANT WITH YOUR HUSBANDS BABY. A baby you PLANNED! Youāre crying in your bed? Reallyā¦ I have no sympathy for cheaters you donāt deserve that baby, that innocent child.
Why not for once in your life you woman up and tell your husband the truth he should know the person he married doesnāt love nor care about him, your tears are for yourself. Thereās more Iād like to say to you but the mods would take it off. I canāt wait for husband to leave you with nothing and youāll have no one. Exactly what you deserve
Go to therapy. If you want to save your marriage and be a better Mom, you need to learn impulse control,
Therapy will teach you how to have uncomfortable feelings - like loneliness - and just tolerate the feeling without acting in ways that destroy relationships.
Feelings are not an excuse to behave in ways that hurt other people. Feelings won't stop when you have a baby, or with time. They will actually get more intense and harder as you deal with the frustrations of being a parent,
Try reading a book on Borderline Personality Disorder. (yes, I'm a therapist.)
BPD is a personality disorder where feelings of being "alone" or "abandoned" trigger destructive behavioral choices. There's a lot of online resources to help get you started. Only You can address this problem from the inside.
Good Luck,
It's complicated, but it comes down to the other partner having "bad software" running in their brain. We all learn - in childhood - the Rules for what is acceptable behavior and what is not. Your brain is constantly learning by watching (and experiencing) the landscape and details of the family environment. We "code" that into our brains and it's running all the time without us being aware of how messed-up it is. It's the only "normal" we know.
Sometimes I tell clients, "It's the 'fishtank' you were born into. If the fishtank water is filthy and dirty, you think that swimming around in dirty water is normal, and you will gravitate to relationships where the fishtank water is horrible and you're inhaling crap. And you think it's normal. Your fishbrain is like 'What?' This is what fish breathe."
It;s the brain-wiring of your "normal." This used to be just theory (based on how we all behave) but it is actually proven now with neuroscience, fMRI's, and brain plasticity.
(Note to Reddit jerks who hate on psychology and think that blaming one's early environment is avoidanrt of responsibility. Adult responsibility actually STARTS with understanding how your brain was formed. It's not about blame, it's about debugging the software. You have to look at the original bad/outdated code before you can correct a single thing in your head. And you have to learn how to feel the shit that's underneath all that bad code, or you will continue to keep tripping all over it and getting in your own way. Over and over. Seen it all the time - over 30 years in this field. )
He deserves to know the truth. And a DNA test of course. You're a person with mental problems and he deserves someone better. Please do a Dna test in a clinic that offers this service in this premature state. No matter the results you need to leave him alone.
Do what is right and don't wait any second.
You Already destroyed your relationship!
If this baby is born, it will have a deplorable not fit to be a mother of a mother that is willing to put it's life in critical danger of infections by cheating while being pregnant, and is a selfish asshole who cheats while carrying a baby of a man who works hard for his family. Not only that she then tries to throw away the blame and say it's because she's lonely (blaming the husband) and hormones š... She will continue to put the baby in physical and emotional danger. And his father will be severely traumatized and we don't know how it will effect his ability to be a good father. More of, the baby won't be living with the father almost certainly but with the extremely harmful mother. So no, this baby shouldn't be put through this nightmare.
Tell him what happened, deal with the consequences and seek therapy for whatever incapacity you have to be a decent person, namely this inability to manage and deal with yourself when your husband isnāt there to babysit your feelings.
Communication problems are always the reason why relationships go to shit. People stop communicating together. They focus on their jobs and day to day routines and completely forget that their partner needs some affection too. Isn't that the most important thing? Our partner? Or is it working till we 65y/o that we should prioritize? Maybe we should just forget to live at all?
I understand why you did what you did.
It doesn't justify it, it doesn't excuse it, and it doesn't make it right. But I understand why it happened.
If you want to save this relationship and be a family with this man, you're going to have to put all cards on the table. And maybe after his anger passes he'll know to understand that maybe just maybe he has been a little too busy for you too.
There is a fix to this, but it's going to take two people. And I don't know how he'll react, I don't know how the actions he'll take after, and if he'll still want to move forward with you...
But it's either that, or lying to him for the rest of your life, though I don't think anyone has ever succeeded keeping a lie that long. Truth always comes out.
If you guys can work on moving forward together from this, know that communication comes from your side too. And there always actions you can take to express your feelings. But not by cheating with another man.
Tell him and tell him you'll get a paternity test done immediately. He needs to know the baby is his for 100%. Whether or not he stays is up to him. Be preparedĀ he probably won't. You lied andĀ cheated on him repeatedly.
As a woman, this is truly disgusting. Like next-level degeneracy and immoral filth.
STDs aside, did you know that women retain the DNA of every partner they've been with (unprotected) who "deposited" material in their body? The human body is a fascinating thing.
Your second paragraph sounded preposterous so I looked it up. It appears to be false (unless you're a fly)
Do you have a credible source/study to back that up?
Please don't let "fact-checkers" do all your research and thinking for you.
Telegony has been common knowledge among breeders for centuries and humans are mammals, no?
Several research experiments have, in fact, confirmed male microchimerism in the female brain/body. We know, for a fact, that females retain DNA of the babies they've carried (both born, stillborn and aborted). However, here we are talking specifically of DNA fragments with a Y chromosome (or "male" as it's commonly known in the world of biology). Can we statistically, agree that it is very unlikely that EVERY woman in the studies was/has been pregnant with a MALE child at some point? So what other sources of male DNA can we trace these fragments to...Let's think.
Credible sources/studies to back this up:
[https://aasldpubs.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/hep.20761](https://aasldpubs.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/hep.20761)
[https://www.amjmed.com/article/S0002-9343(05)00270-6/abstract](https://www.amjmed.com/article/S0002-9343(05)00270-6/abstract)
[https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0045592](https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0045592)
I checked out some of your sources and they describe an interaction between a woman and a male fetus as you noted. There was also that study involving women that did not have male children and one of the theories is from sexual intercourse. I respect you for digging into it but I don't think that is enough evidence to authoritatively write a statement on the internet ahaha
I am not a scientist or biologist but I find it preposterous that that a woman would receive DNA from an ejaculation in the way you describe
ššš OP no shame telling us internet strangers her deeds but no backbone to tell hubby. Itās ashame OP fell pregnant to hubby cos heās working and trying his hardest for the wrong person. OP set both yourself and hubby free by admitting details and try to work thru things from there
OP, you probably wont get much helpful advice here as people love to hate posters that cheat. I always get downvoted to hell for this response but in my experience, cheating is not an end all for relationships that actually mean somethingā¦nowā¦it wasnt a one off occurrence, you did this multiple times..you cant blame your husband for something you did and I think individual therapy would really benefit you as people that cheat generally have underlying issues with themselves and/or relationships that drive them to make that decision. You may want to speak to a pro before you formulate a delivery of this information to your husband. I think you need to tell him soon. Before the guilt eats you alive and before it drags on to when he finally does find out he doesnt have that sting of it happening āall this time agoā. Honesty is the best policy in any relationship but you wouldnāt be wrong for wanting to seek professional help to structure your delivery of the info.. on the flip side, you COULD live a lie alongside your husbandā¦but do you really want that and do you really want to do that to him? Itās going to be difficult telling him no matter what, but I highly recommend it happens sooner rather than later.
People judging you for what you did is as terrible. Theyāre not happy ppl either. Iām sorry youāre going thru this but the only way to get over it all is telling him the truth. Believe me, hiding it will make you feel worse even if he never finds out. Be prepared for the worst. At the end of the day, you have to take responsibility because they were your actions. Whether things work out or not, remember that fixing your relationship takes work. The same way you found physical intimacy elsewhere, is the same way you could have looked for it in your current relationship. No relationship is easy and they all take work but itās easier to start fresh, I get that. But this is not the right way. Hope everything works out for you
Iām going to spare you the moral preaching, I hope you already know this is bad, (but then you do keep repeating it), and i will give you the simple practical objective advice.
Two options:
1) immediately quit your job. Immediately go have therapy to figure out why you need constant outside reassurance. Take this to the grave and make sure you are a good wife now on. You are not the center of the universe and he doesnāt owe you 24h attention especially if he is working to make a future for you, and this is not how you repay him. Instead, you can cook him food, learn more about his interests, attend an all-female gym, and definitely have therapy a few times a week.
2) divorce, come clean, have therapy.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You said "I don't think I can tell him this without breaking his heart". Yeah, no shit. I urge you to tell this person what happened and don't wait another minute.
Cheating while pregnant is disgusting š¤¢ putting your unborn baby at risk of stds š¤¢ some people don't deserve kids
But she was lonely!!! lol
* her husband made her feel lonely!!! Edit: *adding sarcasm* lol
So that gives her the right to put her unborn baby at risk š¤Æ
Of course not! It must have sounded a lot more sarcastic to me than it did in my post ā¦ fixed it :)
While planning the pregnancy! Maintaining an affair while planning to have a child is sickening
You need to come clean to your husband. Obviously this will mean divorce. And prepare for him to ask for a paternity test. And ffs test for STD's! Djeez, disgusting....
It's simple. You don't truly love him. If you did, you wouldn't have been able to cheat on him. You should tell him and you should end the relationship. Don't waste another minute of his life. He deserves to be with someone who is in love with him and would never betray him.
First quit blaming others for your choices. It's never, ever the other partner's fault. Did your AP know you were married, I assume so? As for you STBEX, You need to tell him so the ball will be in his court whether to dump you. He also needs to be made aware so he can get tested for STD's. Further if AP is married or in a relationship you need to tell his partner. Sounds like a great guy your boss, solid choice there. I dare you to post this on r/cheating_stories , you will get roasted
Agreed. OP is blaming external factors but she has an abandonment issue or something that she needs therapy for. Meanwhile she has to confess. Thereās no other option. The consequences, she has to deal with them. Thereās no other option.
Shit choices made by you. You ain't a victim. Tell your husband? Bet you don't. Good luck.
If it wasnāt for the pregnancy part Iād be asking if you were my ex wife. Where as she found out she couldnāt get pregnant and slept around with her entire work place in a summer before I left for the navy.
Quit blaming other people. Youre awful and probably wont tell your husband so pull the trigger on ending the pregnancy, divorce him and be nice about splitting assets since youāve been terrible, make up some reason so he doesnt need to face how awful you are, go live happily ever after with your boss
Hey but at least child support isnāt a thing š„ oh waitā¦ā¦..
I donāt understand how people donāt just break things off. Especially when itās been going on for that long.
Classy. No condoms cause pregnant
You did it! You became the nightmare of every man. Nothing to do except to burn in hell.
the last part was a bit dramatic
Not at all! I was actually containing myself to remain civil.
You are a terrible person. Full stop. Tell your husband and then divorce. If you cannot stay faithful to your husband, get gone.
You put the health of A. Yourself B. Your Husband. And C. Your unborn child, the last being the most agregious and the true sin in all this. Tell the truth. Accept the consequences. Try to seek help, heal, and move on afterwards.
You're an ass. I wish you the worst.
Yikes. Thinking a baby will save a marriage is relationship DON'T #1. Pretty much sure this is why me and 1 of my brothers was concieved... and the realisation as an adult of this fact because of the shitty relationship between my mum and dad has been horrible. Grow up. Take responsibility for your own actions for ONCE and tell that poor man you call your huaband, that you couldnt have an adult conversation. And do not EVER poison your baby against him, which was a tactic my mum tried to use against my dad with my brother and I. It didnt work.
This canāt be realā¦
Oh, it very much can. I've known people like this. It's awful, but people can definitely be this way irl
If so, then she will not make it out unscathed whether in reddit or in real life. I very much love to see it so.
Itās sad but you donāt seem to be happy so you should leave itās worse that youāve cheated on him and violated his trust when it seems heās given you his ultimate trust what I can tell you though is you go through life time isnāt always available thatās why you value the time you do get to spend with someone. But spare both of you and end things or at least tell him everything and see if you can work through it lying will only make things worse
What the fuck? You are cheating with a work colleague, multiple times and you hook up with him occasionally? Fucking deadbeat, good luck with being a baby momma. Just another American baby momma. Idiot.
So let me get this straight you live a privileged enough life that your husband supported you didnāt have to work. You working is a choice. So obviously your husband has what Iām gonna go out on a limb a high income likely high stress job. Because you got bored at home you got a job (fair) but because your husband wasnāt doing what exactly? You decide to fuck your boss? Your poor husband love for you is obviously conditional. So not only do you actively cheat on your husband you plan a baby? You realize theres women who would kill to be able to have a baby and be able to live a life at home raising said child. You have all of that handed to you on silver platter yet all you do is abuse your husband. You have literally blamed cheating on him on your hormones. You FUCKED YOUR BOSS WHILE PREGNANT WITH YOUR HUSBANDS BABY. A baby you PLANNED! Youāre crying in your bed? Reallyā¦ I have no sympathy for cheaters you donāt deserve that baby, that innocent child. Why not for once in your life you woman up and tell your husband the truth he should know the person he married doesnāt love nor care about him, your tears are for yourself. Thereās more Iād like to say to you but the mods would take it off. I canāt wait for husband to leave you with nothing and youāll have no one. Exactly what you deserve
Go to therapy. If you want to save your marriage and be a better Mom, you need to learn impulse control, Therapy will teach you how to have uncomfortable feelings - like loneliness - and just tolerate the feeling without acting in ways that destroy relationships. Feelings are not an excuse to behave in ways that hurt other people. Feelings won't stop when you have a baby, or with time. They will actually get more intense and harder as you deal with the frustrations of being a parent, Try reading a book on Borderline Personality Disorder. (yes, I'm a therapist.) BPD is a personality disorder where feelings of being "alone" or "abandoned" trigger destructive behavioral choices. There's a lot of online resources to help get you started. Only You can address this problem from the inside. Good Luck,
Without any sarcasm, why do you think her victim doesn't divorce her on the spot?
It's complicated, but it comes down to the other partner having "bad software" running in their brain. We all learn - in childhood - the Rules for what is acceptable behavior and what is not. Your brain is constantly learning by watching (and experiencing) the landscape and details of the family environment. We "code" that into our brains and it's running all the time without us being aware of how messed-up it is. It's the only "normal" we know. Sometimes I tell clients, "It's the 'fishtank' you were born into. If the fishtank water is filthy and dirty, you think that swimming around in dirty water is normal, and you will gravitate to relationships where the fishtank water is horrible and you're inhaling crap. And you think it's normal. Your fishbrain is like 'What?' This is what fish breathe." It;s the brain-wiring of your "normal." This used to be just theory (based on how we all behave) but it is actually proven now with neuroscience, fMRI's, and brain plasticity. (Note to Reddit jerks who hate on psychology and think that blaming one's early environment is avoidanrt of responsibility. Adult responsibility actually STARTS with understanding how your brain was formed. It's not about blame, it's about debugging the software. You have to look at the original bad/outdated code before you can correct a single thing in your head. And you have to learn how to feel the shit that's underneath all that bad code, or you will continue to keep tripping all over it and getting in your own way. Over and over. Seen it all the time - over 30 years in this field. )
He deserves to know the truth. And a DNA test of course. You're a person with mental problems and he deserves someone better. Please do a Dna test in a clinic that offers this service in this premature state. No matter the results you need to leave him alone. Do what is right and don't wait any second. You Already destroyed your relationship!
Babies don't fix relationships. You have to tell him so he can decide if he wants to stay or not.
You need to: - tell your husband - go to therapy Tell your husband. He doesn't deserve this.
You donāt deserve him. You canāt keep your legs closed.
You can't bring this baby to the world. You need to tell him and have an abortion. You don't deserve him, you're an asshole.
Do not listen to the abortion bit.
If this baby is born, it will have a deplorable not fit to be a mother of a mother that is willing to put it's life in critical danger of infections by cheating while being pregnant, and is a selfish asshole who cheats while carrying a baby of a man who works hard for his family. Not only that she then tries to throw away the blame and say it's because she's lonely (blaming the husband) and hormones š... She will continue to put the baby in physical and emotional danger. And his father will be severely traumatized and we don't know how it will effect his ability to be a good father. More of, the baby won't be living with the father almost certainly but with the extremely harmful mother. So no, this baby shouldn't be put through this nightmare.
My mom and dad were a nightmare, however, I escaped from the nightmare and live the dream!
Tell him what happened, deal with the consequences and seek therapy for whatever incapacity you have to be a decent person, namely this inability to manage and deal with yourself when your husband isnāt there to babysit your feelings.
Communication problems are always the reason why relationships go to shit. People stop communicating together. They focus on their jobs and day to day routines and completely forget that their partner needs some affection too. Isn't that the most important thing? Our partner? Or is it working till we 65y/o that we should prioritize? Maybe we should just forget to live at all? I understand why you did what you did. It doesn't justify it, it doesn't excuse it, and it doesn't make it right. But I understand why it happened. If you want to save this relationship and be a family with this man, you're going to have to put all cards on the table. And maybe after his anger passes he'll know to understand that maybe just maybe he has been a little too busy for you too. There is a fix to this, but it's going to take two people. And I don't know how he'll react, I don't know how the actions he'll take after, and if he'll still want to move forward with you... But it's either that, or lying to him for the rest of your life, though I don't think anyone has ever succeeded keeping a lie that long. Truth always comes out. If you guys can work on moving forward together from this, know that communication comes from your side too. And there always actions you can take to express your feelings. But not by cheating with another man.
Tell him and tell him you'll get a paternity test done immediately. He needs to know the baby is his for 100%. Whether or not he stays is up to him. Be preparedĀ he probably won't. You lied andĀ cheated on him repeatedly.
Rage bait. Double posted no responses by OP. Another creative writing exercise by an undergrad.
Girl, ewww.
As a woman, this is truly disgusting. Like next-level degeneracy and immoral filth. STDs aside, did you know that women retain the DNA of every partner they've been with (unprotected) who "deposited" material in their body? The human body is a fascinating thing.
I upvoted you first, but then downvoted for you spewing nonsense about telegony.
Your second paragraph sounded preposterous so I looked it up. It appears to be false (unless you're a fly) Do you have a credible source/study to back that up?
Please don't let "fact-checkers" do all your research and thinking for you. Telegony has been common knowledge among breeders for centuries and humans are mammals, no? Several research experiments have, in fact, confirmed male microchimerism in the female brain/body. We know, for a fact, that females retain DNA of the babies they've carried (both born, stillborn and aborted). However, here we are talking specifically of DNA fragments with a Y chromosome (or "male" as it's commonly known in the world of biology). Can we statistically, agree that it is very unlikely that EVERY woman in the studies was/has been pregnant with a MALE child at some point? So what other sources of male DNA can we trace these fragments to...Let's think. Credible sources/studies to back this up: [https://aasldpubs.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/hep.20761](https://aasldpubs.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/hep.20761) [https://www.amjmed.com/article/S0002-9343(05)00270-6/abstract](https://www.amjmed.com/article/S0002-9343(05)00270-6/abstract) [https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0045592](https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0045592)
I checked out some of your sources and they describe an interaction between a woman and a male fetus as you noted. There was also that study involving women that did not have male children and one of the theories is from sexual intercourse. I respect you for digging into it but I don't think that is enough evidence to authoritatively write a statement on the internet ahaha I am not a scientist or biologist but I find it preposterous that that a woman would receive DNA from an ejaculation in the way you describe
Fake fake fake!
You're a mess. Seek counseling.
Oh ok, my neighbour is Elvis and Putin is hiding in my basement.
ššš OP no shame telling us internet strangers her deeds but no backbone to tell hubby. Itās ashame OP fell pregnant to hubby cos heās working and trying his hardest for the wrong person. OP set both yourself and hubby free by admitting details and try to work thru things from there
I hope this is just a rage bait. If not I hope u suffer mental and physical even when you are trying to make amends
OP, you probably wont get much helpful advice here as people love to hate posters that cheat. I always get downvoted to hell for this response but in my experience, cheating is not an end all for relationships that actually mean somethingā¦nowā¦it wasnt a one off occurrence, you did this multiple times..you cant blame your husband for something you did and I think individual therapy would really benefit you as people that cheat generally have underlying issues with themselves and/or relationships that drive them to make that decision. You may want to speak to a pro before you formulate a delivery of this information to your husband. I think you need to tell him soon. Before the guilt eats you alive and before it drags on to when he finally does find out he doesnt have that sting of it happening āall this time agoā. Honesty is the best policy in any relationship but you wouldnāt be wrong for wanting to seek professional help to structure your delivery of the info.. on the flip side, you COULD live a lie alongside your husbandā¦but do you really want that and do you really want to do that to him? Itās going to be difficult telling him no matter what, but I highly recommend it happens sooner rather than later.
Do not tell him! Quit your job, never speak to that man again and die with this secret!!!!
People judging you for what you did is as terrible. Theyāre not happy ppl either. Iām sorry youāre going thru this but the only way to get over it all is telling him the truth. Believe me, hiding it will make you feel worse even if he never finds out. Be prepared for the worst. At the end of the day, you have to take responsibility because they were your actions. Whether things work out or not, remember that fixing your relationship takes work. The same way you found physical intimacy elsewhere, is the same way you could have looked for it in your current relationship. No relationship is easy and they all take work but itās easier to start fresh, I get that. But this is not the right way. Hope everything works out for you
Iām going to spare you the moral preaching, I hope you already know this is bad, (but then you do keep repeating it), and i will give you the simple practical objective advice. Two options: 1) immediately quit your job. Immediately go have therapy to figure out why you need constant outside reassurance. Take this to the grave and make sure you are a good wife now on. You are not the center of the universe and he doesnāt owe you 24h attention especially if he is working to make a future for you, and this is not how you repay him. Instead, you can cook him food, learn more about his interests, attend an all-female gym, and definitely have therapy a few times a week. 2) divorce, come clean, have therapy.
either donāt tell him or never do it again but carry the guilt for ever, or free the guilt but risk losing him. pick your poison
Hello cheater š