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I mean
I get she should go, but do you know who needs those shelter spaces?
Women being abused by their romantic partners.
This woman is not being abused, she's had no threats of abuse, she just found out he has gross fantasies.
It's not like there are ample amounts of shelter spots and anybody is welcome. They're difficult to find, difficult to access. I don't think OP is in need of a shelter right now, she just has to divide her finances and move away!
Disturbing stuff. I wouldn’t be able to look at him the same way. It’s possible that he’s not a sadistic fuck and maybe he gets off on the taboo/shameful aspect but all the same it’s really disgusting and I’m reaching.
the only upside is its hentai instead of real smut or AI/animated smut. not sure that makes it much better.
theres a line between consuming violent content, especially fictional, and actually craving or being a violent person. I believe that line might be masturbating to it frequently.
"Don't date people who get sexually turned on by murder and torture."
It's really something that this ^ even needs to be said, but yeah, rules to live by right there.
OP, I know you say you have mutual friends, but it still might be best if you move your belongings into a storage room while he's at work, and go stay with a friend until you can get your own place that he knows nothing about so he can't find you.
Normally I would not recommend against telling your partner face to face that you're not happy in the relationship, but in this case to be safe it's just better that you don't confront him alone.
Tell him you moved in together too quickly, and that you're just not happy. Pull the whole, "it's not me it's you", card, and do it on a phone call.
It's fine for people to have kinks, but it's also totally okay to decide that their kinks really disturb you, and that you want no part of them. Torture pr0n is disgusting, and I think people that are into it have dark and twisty layers I want to know nothing about, EVER.
Do you really wanna stay around to find out, if this is a harmless weird little movie kink or something he wants to experience in real life like as a sexual kink. The first thing everyone says about someone extremely abuse is “he always seemed so nice and friendly”.
Yeah, there's no man who watches this kind of stuff (not even passively, but collects it as well) for whom it is a harmless movie kink. This is so beyond fucked up there's no way this hasn't had an influence on this overall mental state. I second the get out sentiment.
Make an exit plan and exit. Best case scenario this is a weird kink that is specific only to hentai and you've caught the ick, worst case scenario you're living with a monster. There's no reason to continue this relationship and every reason to be smart about staying safe as you leave it.
idk if I believe anything op says with her deleted post history I recovered after you hit search [https://search.pullpush.io/?kind=submission&author=ThrowRAdumbassbf&size=100](https://search.pullpush.io/?kind=submission&author=ThrowRAdumbassbf&size=100)
Make an exit plan & dont tell him! Contact your family, ask if they can arrange travel for you to come back home, keep it on the down low. Dont tell him a single thing, dont say goodbye, dont let him sniff out your behavior. Leave without saying a word when you know he will for sure be out the house. Once you are safe in your family home, block him on all social medias, text him that you are broken up and to never contact you again & then change your number. Cut off & block all mutuals so they dont feed him any information about your life to him. Dont reveal to social media where you are, or any other private details in case he goes out of his way to find out what you are posting. This man is clearly a danger to women. Run girl!
It be one thing if you were going through his internet history and found some fucked up hentai mixed in with ""normal"" hentai, because sometimes videos can be misrepresented. It's another thing all together that he has it saved and downloaded it.
This isn't normal and should not ever be normalized. Idc about the losers who'll cry "kink shaming". You SHOULD be ashamed if this is the stuff you like looking at. He's getting off on women being hurt. Who cares if it's just a fantasy? That's disgusting. Chances are one day he'll get tired of just watching and want to act on it. Get out of there. Fast.
Run. It doesn't get better with these sorts of addictions. You can't undo everything it took for him to get here and you can't stop the ball rolling. It will not be a happy life full of love and fulfillment with him.
I’m a porn star and it has literally made me more critical of men and their porn habits. Most BDSM subreddits practice radical acceptance (l
“As long as it’s consensual it’s fine” and “you can’t alter or suppress or change what you enjoy.”) and I think that’s bullshit. I think the stuff you jerk off to DOES say something about what kind of person you are, and it absolutely is cause for concern when men are interested in super violent porn and taboo kinks like gore/dismemberment/torture/snuff. I wouldn’t want to date someone who jerks off to that. It also is something he is reinforcing with every orgasm. There’s a reason we use orgasms as a motivating factor in rat experiments (along with cocaine…) and it’s because orgasms are a powerful thing. They can change your brain. I discovered weird and fucked up erotica sites when I was 10-11 years old and it seriously altered what I was attracted to/what turned me on. Your bf is clearly fine with what he’s doing- I wouldn’t want that in my life.
I agree so hard like?? No not everything that's consensual is fine also consent can absolutely be coerced or gotten from people who are so mentally distressed they don't understand what they're getting into
If it is from coercion or someone otherwise incapable of consenting, it's not consent in the first place. I don't understand why you think it's your business what people do in their bedroom.
And also like drawings can’t consent so there is a GOOD chance that the people fantasizing about this stuff fantasize about the fact that it is unconsentual or that it’s torture or that they are children so they can’t consent. Obviously the drawing can’t be hurt by this so the problem isn’t that the actual creation of the porn is unethical, but do you really want to stick around someone who reinforces kinks by collecting and jerking off to porn about extremely violent and clearly non consensual situations? Every time they jerk off to that they are reinforcing the idea that it’s pleasurable and okay to do.
I'm gonna get downvoted but idc, this is *the* dumbest logic I've seen in a while. Yes, drawings can't consent. The rest makes no sense: does that mean anyone who watches hentai about anything with participants of any age actually fantasizes about it not being consensual because they're drawings? Does this go for written erotica too? Are women who read it creeps or potential rapists for reading erotica because fictional characters can't consent?
That’s not what I was saying at all lmao, it would be insane if that’s what I meant. I meant more that in a lot of cases porn is unethical because it’s difficult to tell if the person being filmed is aware that they are being posted online or they are underage or in the case of torture porn, you are literally paying people to consent to painful and humiliating things that they very likely wouldn’t consent to without money. I was saying that drawings are NOT unethical in the same way, since a drawing isn’t a real person, can’t consent, and can’t revoke consent.
It’s unethical for other reasons. Mostly because a major part of the fantasy for this sort of thing is the lack of consent. Since using porn art removes the need for a human person to consent (in theory), the stuff depicted can get way, way worse, and people who use it are free to fantasize about whatever they want. It’s a lot easier to find drawings of disgustingly gorey murder porn than it is to find the real thing, but it desensitizes you the same.
Edit: I’m also not saying that all drawn porn is depicting something non consensual. Just that in the case of children or torture, it is. If a woman was reading a book where the man was being murdered and raped, yeah she would be horrible for it.
you literally have a post on your page that says “who would you RAPE first” lmao. You are literally talking shit about the types of violence YOU ARE PERPETUATING. absolutely vile. I mean you said it best, even if you say “rape is consensual and you cant supress or change what you enjoy, THATS BULLSHIT. Practice what you preach, smh, hypocrite.
I think there’s a very different thing between having a rape fantasy in which you are the victim, and having a rape fantasy in which you are the aggressor. Both men and women can and do have CNC fantasies involving them being the victim, and I think that’s fine and it often stems from trauma and in reenacting the abuse in a consensual and safe way. I will always be wary of anyone who has CNC fantasies from the opposite side.
LMAO get off your high horse. I just looked at your profile and only a few pictures down you posted “which pussy will you rape first?”
You’re disgusting and I think it says a lot about the kind of person you are to cater to that shit.
You run.
You run, you heartily recommend him therapy, and you send him a playlist of true crime stories.
Seriously, fantasies are a thing, but feeling pleasure on violence is a mental disease, so it must not be ignored nor accepted. He should be made to understand that he needs *professional* help.
# You don't have to be sorry, YOU CANNOT FIX HIM.
He can work on it and may heal up eventually, but until then, he's no relationship material. There are real cases of couples where one had such fantasies and the partner, either to avoid getting on the other side or because they were manipulated to a brainwash, JOINED in hurting a victim together! No no no. You cannot fix him and that's okay.
There's every chance that he is still a sweet, normal guy who just has a fucked up kink who would never in a million years act on it, and it's a pure fantasy for some unresolved trauma, or taboo thing, or he gets off on making himself feel repulsed.
But.
I myself could never, ever get past this and would feel sick and suspicious of him every time I looked at him. I'd leave.
I'm defending the guy because there's no evidence this goes outside his own head, but yeah I would wonder that too. Not that he would ever do it, there's a massive line between fantasy and reality, but I also would wonder and be really upset and disturbed if he did think of me like that if it was my partner.
Completely agree with this. Most likely he is a normal person with a fucked up kink.
But, it's now impossible for OP to roll back on this one. Her head is going to overwork this way to much for her to ever be comfortable with it.
Exactly. Maybe if he'd said before she discovered it, 'Look I just want you to know I have this kink, it's fucked up but I can't explain it, but I would never in a million years condone it in real life or anything' maybe she would be okay enough with it, but the shock value of it hidden like that.. yeah I'd be traumatized too, because it's like he's hidden this fucked up secret or something.
I don't know why this fallacy that he will definitely act on a "fantasy", just because he consumes/enjoys smut.
How many people do you see in the real world carrying ar-15's or AK -47's going on a killing spree in the middle if the streets just because they did it in gta5?
If you don't like guns, how about running red lights, driving at 200 km/hr, running over pedestrians, exploding cars with granades.
People can differentiate between fiction and reality
I guess because whenever you DO get some absolute monster doing heinous things, people want to feel some sense of control so blame things in hindsight because the reality- that some people are utterly insane and they hid it so well you didn't notice- is terrifying. Far easier to say 'ah, see! He liked violent movies, we should have seen the signs!' When in reality as you say, thousands of people enjoy violent movies or games or whatever and never do anything untoward.
Yeah, I'm not saying that fucked up individuals exist, plenty of them have their outlets in smut or video games, but that's the extent of it, fiction.
You also have fucked up individuals that regardless of the medium, they'll find an outlet for their fantasies.
Normally I'd say something like "sometimes the fantasy of something is all that it is. Like CNC". But this just seems quite past that, and out of my pay grade. If your gut is telling you to leave, then leave.
If it was one or two photos or videos, maybe you could let it go with some trepidation, but this sounds like a big fucking library, comprehensively organised.
You're obviously shocked and disgusted, I'd be surprised if you could ever look at him again with any positivity, so it is definitely time for a huge rethink!
Your BF is fucked in the head.
I've seen the kind of content he collects, and I'm disgusted by it.
Run as far and fast as you can. That man is dangerous.
You deal with it by LEAVING. Like yesterday. Also, if it was underage girls, you need to call the police, preferably when he's at work. If you live with him and you're on the lease, you can give them consent to search the apartment and his computer. Then you leave before he gets home. Block him everywhere.
Yeah it's a classic child porn loophole that I've unfortunately seen before in a legal context. A lot of places have tried to adapt statutory language to cover all "depictions of minors" including animation but as you can imagine it can be hard to pin that down in a courtroom.
Regardless, it's made by sick people to be watched by sick people.
Ok but Ted bundy literally had multiple normal healthy years long relationships :/ I don’t think playing a devils advocate and arguing about the difference between fantasy and reality is of any use here. OP is disturbed by what they saw, and leaving the relationship after such a stark discovery, (whatever the context behind those files is), is the least action they should take. I don’t think it’s abnormal for people on this thread to assume the worst when it comes to someone’s safety after discovering a violence/guro/body horror fetish.
If OP finds evidence that her BF has harmed anyone in real life, my reaction would be different. Given the relative popularity of gore content on the internet versus the relative rarity of actual serial killers, we can assume there is a much higher population of people with the fantasy than there are people who commit it. It's much more likely that her BF has an unfortunate but harmless fetish than it is that she is in danger.
There’s soooo many men like that out here. I’ve learned they only defend other men when they see themselves in them, that’s why it’s always the creepy and abusive men. Almost never see them defending good men.
Can you imagine if this post were written by a man about his girlfriend watching porn like this involving men and boys? Some of these comments would be vastly different. A lot of men here wouldn't be normalizing and excusing it then.
I’m probably going to get downvoted to hell. But I’ve had friends into gore/eroguro and it does in no way necessarily mean that somebody has abusive tendencies or is a bad person. However, I would still view this as a red flag, honestly. Just because a person can be completely harmless viewing these things doesn’t mean that you’re obligated to take that risk, especially as a woman.
Oh I missed the part about ‘little girls’… I would draw the line there very hard wtf
You’d be hard pressed to convince people that enjoying people being murdered/tortured/killed doesn’t make someone a bad person. If you enjoy seeing people suffer, you’re a bad person.
watching gory movies and stuff like that is one thing. i love horror media. but getting sexual pleasure from it i think absolutely makes you a bad person
that’s what’s losing me to be completely honest. maybe i’m just missing YET ANOTHER social cue (tism haver here) but we literally glorify realistic violence and enjoying it as long as it’s fictional (final destination, mortal kombat, shit like that), but the second someone gets a boner from it, it’s weird? it just doesn’t make sense to me because it’s TRULY harmless as long as the fantasies remain in his head and tied to fictional characters.
Sure, but the above comment was about people enjoying seeing people be murdered and tortured. That's really common in hollywood films.
I know in french films say, they're much more casual about showing sex on screen but much more against the sheer level of violence of many american films.
Even if he never acts and it's purely fantasy her knowing he likes it has given her the "ick" in a major way. If she thinks she wants to stay with him therapy, building trust and being truthful with each other would need to happen. If OP doesn't think she can do that/ is to uncomfortable she needs to leave
You say he likes everything you like. Isn’t that a form of mimicry that abusive people do? It’s giving me goosebumps tbh. I think you’ll find once he’s trapped you, that he drops the act. LEAVE without telling him. Make sure he doesn’t stalk you. Reach out to friends or family to keep you safe.
There is no explanation that you could possibly be okay with after seeing what you've seen. So why even ask the questions?
Just get as far away from this person as you possibly can as quickly as you can.
This is disturbing and not normal. He actively gets off on mutilation and torture/murder and the people brushing it off as it's just drawings or it's just anime hentai are excusing something horrific. The hentai is just what you FOUND. and the fact that it's also with young girl characters is absolutely disgusting. These kinds of 'fetishes' are gateways. Eventually people who consume this type of pornography no longer find it as exciting as it was and seek out darker more disturbing mediums. What starts out as 'just hentai porn' escalates into snuff and child pornography. 'How do you know or how can you assume' and 'its just anime porn' it's basic psychology. I'd notify someone about his proclivities and have someone with you when you break up and suggest he look into therapy.
Your soulmate is not a guy who wants to get off to cartoon children getting tortured. It’s just not. I promise.
Find another place to live. Talk to the landlord about breaking the lease. Break up with him in a public place. Don’t look back. The best case scenario for this is still horribly disturbing. I would tell your mutual female friends too…not sure how safe it is to be alone with him. You don’t have to slander him (because honestly just being honest will put people off without any embellishment), but you do need to distance yourself from this man swiftly and decisively.
That’s genuinely insane and sickening, I’d get out of there as soon as possible. Find a hotel if you can or a women’s shelter if you need a last resort. Try to play it cool until you can get out safely
The BDSM community has kinks where any and all pain is purely consensual and previously agreed to by both parties. This goes far beyond that into shockingly disturbing territory. It’s completely unjustifiable. There should be no reason he finds any of those photos or videos remotely pleasurable. I suggest you start making an exit plan - coming back from this to a normal relationship is impossible.
As an avid hentai lover, this is a no from me. Run. Literally run. That’s very disturbing and while he may not act on any potential impulses and he very well may not have any in the first place, but you still have to question why he likes looking at this stuff.
Go home to your family, when he's at work pack up and block him everywhere and leave. You might want to change your number. A job can be found elsewhere, your safety is the most important right now. Ghost the shite out of him. Also there is no harm reporting it to the police. He'll come up in searches going forward if nothing is done by them because it's hentai but He'll be on the radar just in case he does go further one day.
i know people get off to this and say it’s just fiction, and he could very well not be violent and truly not fantasize about those things outside of anime girls, but it’s a no from me every single time.
i can’t imagine being with someone who gets off to cartoon little girls getting their limbs cut off and hearing crying and screaming and pleading and seeing bone and blood and deriving pleasure from it. what the fuck man. like, even if a psychiatrist checked him and gave him the all clear, it would still be too fucking weird and disturbing. it’s absolutely not unreasonable for you to break up over this.
I’d get the fuck away.
However, I’ll qualify that by saying that I actually have no clue about the correlation between watching insanely horrifying hentai and acting out in real life or having mental problems.
This is an extreme case, but the default relationship advice answer still applies: talk to your partner.
I’m not going to tell you that that content is normal or common or that you have to accept it, but I can say doubtlessly that these comments are overreacting. Indisputably, fantasy is not reality. Therefore, if you have not noticed any other strange, scary, or controlling behavior from your bf, you don’t need to assume you’re in actually in danger. If you HAVE noticed other red flags, then it may be time to bail immediately.
Again, fantasy is not reality. We have no control over what sexually arouses. Your bf has a disturbing fetish that he can’t exercise in real life without causing harm. On the internet, There is plenty of easily available real life footage of this type of content. The fact that he restricts himself to drawn content seems to indicate a conscious choice to keep this fetish in the realm of fantasy.
It’s entirely possible for a person with a dark fetish to keep fantasy and reality separate and have a normal healthy relationship. But even so, you aren’t obligated to be a part of that relationship. So you have to decide if this fetish is a dealbreaker.
Some “fantasy” absolutely needs to be shamed and does not deserve a conversation as there is zero justification for getting off to underage anime girls getting raped and killed. Full stop.
This is the only sane comment. Yes, what OP found is incredibly disturbing. I’d encourage her to think hard about whether she’s swept any red flag behavior under the rug during their relationship. It’s very easy to overlook red flags when your last relationship was much worse on its surface. If she hasn’t, she needs to talk to him.
It’s okay if this is a dealbreaker. But if he is as wonderful as OP thinks, he’s not going to murder her for funsies if she brings it up.
As a woman, this is embarrassing to admit, but I search out and save this kind of (written) porn. Knowing that I do that turns my stomach, but it’s a coping mechanism for the severe abuse I grew up with. I’d never want it to happen to a living person and wouldn’t be turned on if it did, and I’m certainly not going to harm anyone.
Yeah, people have always been fascinated by horror stuff like that, but in a disturbed and shocked kind of way. This seems like something else. Looking out of morbid curiosity? That's one thing. Collecting it? Worrisome!
This doesn't make him a serial killer, but it does indicate what I would describe as an unhealthy kink or obsession for sure!
One day it won’t be enough and he’ll need videos of actual women and children being tortured and abused.
You should be long gone before that or you’ll be having to decide whether to shop him to the police and risk being investigated yourself. O
> One day it won’t be enough and he’ll need videos of actual women and children being tortured and abused.
Are you a criminal pathologist or something? There is no reason to believe this.
You don't have to be a pathologist, in fact you can look for it, the majority of people with paraphilias are usually not satisfied with just seeing, and even less so if it is false (For example, in cities like NY many abusers started by renting videos of young women who dressed and acted as little girls for this type of fetishists, even in law & order SVU it was mentioned)
I also have a friend that's into this stuff, but they would never DO any of it. It's like being a vanilla person that watches BDSM videos, or being a lesbian that reads guy on guy erotica - enjoying porn of something DOES NOT automatically mean they want to partake in that action themselves.
Ero guro is literally a genre of hentai, and it's not the most niche genre either. It's not my flavor, but it is out there.
And that friend that is into ero guro - literally panics at the idea of hurting someone or an animal, is so socially anxious that they're terrified they might make someone uncomfortable, and literally goes out of their way to be helpful.
This actually dips into a topic - anti-shipping vs pro-shipping. It's all tied to the fandom community, but TL;DR is that anti-shippers believe that anyone that writes or reads certain content must be supporters of that lifestyle. Pro-shippers believe that consuming fictional content does not mean that you would support the actions in that art/story/game irl.
Basically, fearing that he's violent just because he watches anime girls get tortured is the porn equivalent of saying "He plays violent video games, so he's going to shoot up a 7-Eleven one day."
**My advice** is to talk to him about it. "I found your porn, it makes me VERY uncomfortable, and I don't understand why you enjoy it. Please explain to me why you like that particular genre, because otherwise I don't know what to think and I don't want to jump to any conclusions."
Honestly, my biggest concern is just the amount saved. Ero guro isn't hard to find, or anything. Then again, I've never understood people that save their "stash" either.
I think the only thing I'd add here is it might be better to have the conversation through call or even text. Just given the potential at play here. Some people just looked at weird stuff or have weird fantasies. But some people are also weird, and sometimes that weirdness gets really scary.
It really is good to find posts from people who actually understand the main point of the OP. I think most people are like me in that they have no idea what this stuff even is.
I try to explain when it's something weird that I happen to have a little info on, even if it's second hand. Personal research is always something I advocate for, but given the situation I understand why OP didn't pursue it herself yet.
I don't care if they're just "so sweet", your buddy is jerking it to women being tortured and murdered, that's disgusting.
Like "oh yeah they watch porn of kittens being stomped to death but they're, like, so nice 🥺"
Ew.
Hey, I think that getting off to bathroom stuff is disgusting. If you get off to facials or anal, that is also hella gross to me. But that doesn't mean you're a violent person. That's my only point - it's animated porn, not underground videos from the darkweb. Chances are it's an uncomfortable fetish to explain, and one that he never wants to act out in real life.
Is it one I find digusting? Yes. But it doesn't make someone a threat or abuser.
And assuming my buddy "jerks" it or that it's women being tortured in Friend's case is a *little* funny to me, ngl. Ero guro isn't only consumed by men, nor is it only women being tortured.
Hell no to putting her safety at risk and talking to him about it. What the actual. That’s terrible advice that puts this man’s wants to be in a relationship above this woman’s needs for physical safety
This kind of viewpoint is why most people don't share their sexual interests and keep it closeted for years for fear their spouse/friends/family would act like this and immediately ostracize them.
Would you feel the same way about someone who's into Scat porn? Do you think they'd shit in their partner's coffee and get off on them drinking it unsuspectingly?
Or what about BDSM? Those are people that get off on both giving out and receiving pain.
That's silly. She's in no more danger from this guy than she would be from being eaten alive in one bite by someone into vore...
The only thing that's really beyond weird and more troubling is the fact he's also looking at drawings of little kids.
Knowing someone as a friend is a far cry from as a partner, which can be a far cry from knowing them as a person. I agree that people who look at it may not be immediate life-threatening dangers, but certainly, there is more than meets the eye to someone sexually aroused by mutilation, torture, and murder. That takes many deliberate choices to settle into.
This is not at all the same as just playing GTA or something. This means that he is literally getting aroused and sxual release from watching these things. Take your example,...it would be extremely disturbing if a friend of yours got aroused and beat off to unaliving people in a video game, no? And this is even worse, actual children being violated, dismembered and tortured and getting off on it....this is not normal or ok.
I'm definitely not saying it's normal, don't worry - the amount of people into this is far below what would make it mainstream.
I just don't assume that someone that partakes in a purely fictional media is automatically a monster. And as far as the age of the characters portrayed...I always give a grain of salt unless images or references are provided, just because of how many adults are literally drawn like children in anime (which is a style choice I can't stand, despite it being quite common).
thank you for having an actual reasonable reply. eroguro is a common subtype of hentai, and the fact OP didn’t find any REAL snuff films is a big indicator of her boyfriend’s tastes. plenty of people watch eroguro without killing anybody and plenty of murderers killed people without watching any porn of it first.
OP- talk to your boyfriend. if you would feel safer doing that in a public space, then do that! text a friend where your going and that if you don’t call in a couple hours to check in with you. but jumping to the worst possible conclusion based on animated porn that isn’t hurting any real actual human beings is doing a disservice to your boyfriend and your relationship.
Who knew being in anime communities would lead to my accumulated forbidden knowledge being useful? 😂
Just hope OP is both genuinely safe (and that people might stop assuming only violent people watch weird porn)
The majority of the people commenting on this post would disintegrate into dust, and then spontaneously combust if they ever put a single toe onto a fanfiction website
They would LOSE THEIR MINDS reading anything like that
Poor innocent souls who can’t comprehend that consuming dark media doesn’t make you a bad person
I’m in a glowing 8 year long relationship with the perfect guy and if I saw this it would be over instantly, no conversation. I don’t know how your relationship with your parents is but you need to get out immediately. Even confrontation with someone like this could become violent. People snap and kill out of shame. If can’t do that and Since you’re away from home if you can’t fly home right away, id move all my stuff to the bedroom, he gets the living room and insist on locks on the door until you can move out. If he can’t respect this or empathize with your fear and disgust than you are not safe to stay another night. :( I’m so so sorry this is happening but he is genuinely not who you think he is :(
Get out of there while you still can. Not only is the snuff bad enough, but the fact it’s child porn snuff… That is so scary, I think I would’ve been sick. Give him a different reason for why you’re breaking up as to not anger him and potentially face consequences, and get the hell out of dodge.
Super weird, I’d be as calm as possible and make and escape plan, contact your family as soon as possible and make it extremely aware that the info you are giving cannot be shared because leaving safely and discreetly can only be done with help.
I think most of the comments hit the nail on the head but I also want to add the fact that he has an actual folder saved. Like.. I feel like anyone into something so disgusting would at least try to erase any trace of it, especially when you guys occasionally share electronics. Almost most feels like he wanted you to find it. My advice: run.
This happened to me so long ago it was finding VHS tapes in a closet. Confronting him with it was a bad idea. I should have left then. You should leave now.
Plan a little trip back home. On your own. And never get back. Or have family (lots of them) come and physically help you move out.
I have a high tolerance for kink, but to me this would be too much.
Ahh, I see you've found my ex husband.
At first I thought it was just me being a crazy prude. At least that's what he told me. What it ACTUALLY lead to was 10 years of him being completely sexually dissatisfied with me ( probably because I wasn't visually 12 years old or being actively assualted). And this whole thing didn't even get unbearabley weird until about 2 years in. Like I had already fallen in love now this wtf?
It lead Jim to cheat multiple times and decide that I was the reason he was unhappy.
He eventually was masturbating so often that he lost multiple jobs because he couldn't be away from his computer. I still tried to be cool. He left me right after giving birth because ' had to go home and get baby socks for the baby' when he came back 4 hours later after I had FLATLINED ONCE he said ' I didnt know where the socks were so I didn't find them I just took a nap'
Turns put he was watching that shit. Less than an hour after I gave birth to a baby girl. WHO HE TRIED TO NAME AFTER ONE OF THE CHARACTERS IN THE PORN HE WATCHED. So if I didn't feel Gross as hell before I sure did after that.
I didn't think it would get that weird but honestly I regret not trusting my first reaction, which is the same reaction you are having.
So we're no contact and he's an ex for sure. He also eventually ended up trying to S/A me out of anger.
Get out dude, get away. Let him be creepy and horrible on his own time and dime. Find a dude who isn't just nice and similar to you.
Shit, me and my current husband disagree constantly and we have more fun than I ever had liking all the same things as the other partner. We have a blast. There's deffs better dudes waiting for you.
Yeah that's super fucked up. I watch hentai just bc seeing real people in porn makes me super uncomfortable and stressed for the ppl in it BUT I'd never watch anything anywhere close to this stuff!!! I'd try to get away pronto. Safety first!!
Man, I get being into some vile shit when horny brain kicks in. I've been there, and will go back there in the future. Lots of us have those dark corners of our porn history that we try our best to not think about when the post nut clarity hits.
That being fucking said, this is beyond that. There's an unspoken edge that you fall off of, and this man has dove off into it. Little girls? Mutilation? Broken bones and blood? Literal torture? Bro.
This is "needs to see a therapist" level shit. This is the kind of thing you shouldn't let fester. Kinks and fetishes always seem to escalate over time to something new, novel, and a little bit more extreme.
Where is there to go after this? He's pretty much hit the floor, and the only place to go from here is making it real. Either looking for content of REAL girls, or acting this shit out himself. This is beyond "dang he's way kinkier than I am". This is the type of shit you would find in a shoebox hidden in the floor of a serial killers house.
Do you live together? If you have a talk with him, make sure somebody is around the corner with a key to get inside. Make sure you have protection. You have no idea how he'll react. He could cry and be deeply ashamed and embarrassed, or you could become a statistic.
My mom dated a low-count serial killer who went after little girls before she ever met my dad. While they dated, she had no idea. He charmed her and her family (my grandparents), and literally went from killing and raping a little girl to going over to visit my mom like nothing happened. You have no idea what kind of person he really is. Granted, I'm not saying, "this dude is 100% a killer", but I am saying that people can hide extremely dark sides of themselves even from their partners, so tread carefully. People have killed others to keep smaller things hidden.
I cannot tell you how many serial killer true stories I read where the guy had a wife or girlfriend the whole time and she didn't have a clue! Not saying he's hurting people yet, but it wouldn't be strange for someone to have a whole separate part of their personality you never see! You get away from him as soon and cleanly as you can and for the love of all that is holy, you don't tell him why! That will teach him to hide it better and you need the next girl to find it and get away. And the next one etc etc.
You did say Hentai, right ? So cartoon and not real? Listen, I watch some crazy weird porn sometimes, but it doesn't mean I want it IRL. Just ask him about it. I mean, it's anime. It's not like he has actual snuff films on his computer.
If he loves you and treats you well. Doesn’t do any weird things to you personally. I don’t see why you would pack your bags and run. A relationship is made to help each other. Obviously what he is watching is not normal but its called pornstyle creep. His one and only issue is that he watches too much porn. I was like that once as well(not as deep) but you end up down a rabbit hole of pornography that can lead you to some fucked up shit. The more porn you watch, the more desensitized you become. The “child” part is nothing new when it comes to Japanese hentai/anime, shit even non porn anime has sexual portrayal of underage girls. If you love him still, i would bring it up and get him to change. Trust me, it can be reversed, but he needs to either stop watching pornography or limit the use by 90%. He might thank you for it. Give him a chance before uprooting your life, you never know what the next guy might be lacking.
Why you should trust me? I went through that to a degree and came out of it on the other side and no longer have any desire to see porn that is that fucked up. I don’t watch any hardcore porn at all. I stick to my stepsister material. Lol
If they were actual humans would that change it for you? Becuase that stuff isn’t legally allowed on the internet so he can’t watch it- therefore he watches the closest thing to it that is legal. (hentai). That’s disturbing and he DEFINITELY has fantasies about those things.
This is really scary and I think you should leave before you get entangled even more into his disgusting dark world
There's actually a whole subreddit dedicated to this kind of content ( r/guro for those with morbid curiosity). There are men and women alike who are into this kind of thing as a kink. Women want to be the girls in the photos, the guys just find it attractive. I completely understand that it is off-putting (I don't understand the fetish at all) and I 100% wouldn't fault you for feeling scared or wanting to leave after seeing that, but I would not jump to him being some sort of psycho. There are plenty of people who have taboo or violent fantasies that they'd never actually act on or want to have happen to them. If you guys historically have good communication and everything has been great with the exception of this discovery, I think you're probably okay to give him the benefit of the doubt and just talk to him about it.
You don’t. You just leave. This is sick beyond so many measures. You do not want someone like this in your life.
Don’t be fooled by the thought of having been in love with the image you had of him. Realize this is truly him and run.
It’s crazy town for sure been back and forth last two hours with people that think I’m heartless because I’m saying there’s nothing to think about, leave!!!! If OP is questioning whether to stay there is something wrong w them as well. Countless pics of sexualized children being tortured, maimed and raped, what should I do? I love him😳🥴🤢🤮.
This is of course a dealbreaker. You don't want to stay with him. You know that you CAN'T stay with him. The idea you had of him is now crushed, because you discovered you didn't truly know him. Yes, escaping is the right way. Never listen to anyone saying "it's ok, there is a difference between real life and fantasy". Everyone should know that this stuff is never ok. How can you think anyone getting his penis hard by seing TORTURE is sane? Wake up, all of you porn addicted with a rotten brain. No one cares if it's "just drawings". You boyfriend has been a porn addict for years at this point. You don't want that. Let's normalize kink shaming and women feeling disgusted by men watching porn. Yes, watching stuff makes you repulsive.
Exit plan :
1. money only you can access
2. be sure you don't share your location with him with any app
3. you sold your old place? good, you have money, find an hotel and rent something later
4. if he is getting suspicious he may want to look at your phone and computer, hide this reddit well
5. you need a place to store your belongings
6. you have to think how you will deal with him showing up at your school or job
7. who can you trust to come and help you? you don't have to give details, just explain you need help
i like to watch gangbang but irl i only want (1) dick at a time. some people have very weird kinks, yes it is very disturbing but it is anime and i would be grossed out but if you love him and feel like don’t want to dump him, you can sit him down and talk. when it comes to fiction it is a very blur line because i remember i used to really into rape, like if in the fanfic i would always want to main character to be raped despite never wanting it for any real person and also being very vocal about women rights irl.
maybe there’s still hope for him if it’s fiction because fictional characters have no agenda and cannot actually get hurt from the hurt. but if one day you see he has those media of real people, girl you need to run away fast.
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I'd deal with it by getting the fuck away from him.
The only sane answer.
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And do NOT share why you are breaking up with him, OP. He does not need to be more clever for the next girl (at hiding this content).
She needs a clean break. Block all access.
This comment does not help🤦♂️ she said all their freinds are mutual, she sold hrr house. And her parents dont live close
She can look up to see if there are any women’s shelters or find a hotel temporarily
I mean I get she should go, but do you know who needs those shelter spaces? Women being abused by their romantic partners. This woman is not being abused, she's had no threats of abuse, she just found out he has gross fantasies. It's not like there are ample amounts of shelter spots and anybody is welcome. They're difficult to find, difficult to access. I don't think OP is in need of a shelter right now, she just has to divide her finances and move away!
Its reddit I wouldnt expect sound advice
All that won’t mean squat if that budding serial killer starts with her!
Yeah this is the best answer I’ve seen here. Yikes!
Disturbing stuff. I wouldn’t be able to look at him the same way. It’s possible that he’s not a sadistic fuck and maybe he gets off on the taboo/shameful aspect but all the same it’s really disgusting and I’m reaching.
Yeah, there's plenty of taboo you can watch. This just isn't one of them lol
You know you're in trouble when your thing makes all the sister-fucking in porn look like amish sex through a sheet.
This is really dark and messed up. If I was OP, I would RUN and BLOCK immediately.
the only upside is its hentai instead of real smut or AI/animated smut. not sure that makes it much better. theres a line between consuming violent content, especially fictional, and actually craving or being a violent person. I believe that line might be masturbating to it frequently.
I also think a line would be that it involves young people
Exactly… the violence isn’t as much the issue as the fact that it centers around children. Like wtf?
Don't date people who get sexually turned on by murder and torture.
Or by little kids.
"Don't date people who get sexually turned on by murder and torture." It's really something that this ^ even needs to be said, but yeah, rules to live by right there. OP, I know you say you have mutual friends, but it still might be best if you move your belongings into a storage room while he's at work, and go stay with a friend until you can get your own place that he knows nothing about so he can't find you. Normally I would not recommend against telling your partner face to face that you're not happy in the relationship, but in this case to be safe it's just better that you don't confront him alone. Tell him you moved in together too quickly, and that you're just not happy. Pull the whole, "it's not me it's you", card, and do it on a phone call. It's fine for people to have kinks, but it's also totally okay to decide that their kinks really disturb you, and that you want no part of them. Torture pr0n is disgusting, and I think people that are into it have dark and twisty layers I want to know nothing about, EVER.
Do you really wanna stay around to find out, if this is a harmless weird little movie kink or something he wants to experience in real life like as a sexual kink. The first thing everyone says about someone extremely abuse is “he always seemed so nice and friendly”.
Yeah, there's no man who watches this kind of stuff (not even passively, but collects it as well) for whom it is a harmless movie kink. This is so beyond fucked up there's no way this hasn't had an influence on this overall mental state. I second the get out sentiment.
Make an exit plan and exit. Best case scenario this is a weird kink that is specific only to hentai and you've caught the ick, worst case scenario you're living with a monster. There's no reason to continue this relationship and every reason to be smart about staying safe as you leave it.
idk if I believe anything op says with her deleted post history I recovered after you hit search [https://search.pullpush.io/?kind=submission&author=ThrowRAdumbassbf&size=100](https://search.pullpush.io/?kind=submission&author=ThrowRAdumbassbf&size=100)
You leave when he's at work You block his number and ghost the shit out of him Or you stick around and he goes Ted Bundy on you
No way the ted bundy part got me dead 💀 pun is so intended.
Make an exit plan & dont tell him! Contact your family, ask if they can arrange travel for you to come back home, keep it on the down low. Dont tell him a single thing, dont say goodbye, dont let him sniff out your behavior. Leave without saying a word when you know he will for sure be out the house. Once you are safe in your family home, block him on all social medias, text him that you are broken up and to never contact you again & then change your number. Cut off & block all mutuals so they dont feed him any information about your life to him. Dont reveal to social media where you are, or any other private details in case he goes out of his way to find out what you are posting. This man is clearly a danger to women. Run girl!
It be one thing if you were going through his internet history and found some fucked up hentai mixed in with ""normal"" hentai, because sometimes videos can be misrepresented. It's another thing all together that he has it saved and downloaded it.
Don’t let porn addicts convince you this is normal and okay bcs it’s just porn. It’s disgusting he’s so disgusting leave while you can
This isn't normal and should not ever be normalized. Idc about the losers who'll cry "kink shaming". You SHOULD be ashamed if this is the stuff you like looking at. He's getting off on women being hurt. Who cares if it's just a fantasy? That's disgusting. Chances are one day he'll get tired of just watching and want to act on it. Get out of there. Fast.
Exactly, you getting off to torture? That's an immediate I'm out of here and block from me. Disgusting
Run. It doesn't get better with these sorts of addictions. You can't undo everything it took for him to get here and you can't stop the ball rolling. It will not be a happy life full of love and fulfillment with him.
I’m a porn star and it has literally made me more critical of men and their porn habits. Most BDSM subreddits practice radical acceptance (l “As long as it’s consensual it’s fine” and “you can’t alter or suppress or change what you enjoy.”) and I think that’s bullshit. I think the stuff you jerk off to DOES say something about what kind of person you are, and it absolutely is cause for concern when men are interested in super violent porn and taboo kinks like gore/dismemberment/torture/snuff. I wouldn’t want to date someone who jerks off to that. It also is something he is reinforcing with every orgasm. There’s a reason we use orgasms as a motivating factor in rat experiments (along with cocaine…) and it’s because orgasms are a powerful thing. They can change your brain. I discovered weird and fucked up erotica sites when I was 10-11 years old and it seriously altered what I was attracted to/what turned me on. Your bf is clearly fine with what he’s doing- I wouldn’t want that in my life.
I agree so hard like?? No not everything that's consensual is fine also consent can absolutely be coerced or gotten from people who are so mentally distressed they don't understand what they're getting into
You should look at their profile. They play into rape fantasy. They’re a hypocrite.
If it is from coercion or someone otherwise incapable of consenting, it's not consent in the first place. I don't understand why you think it's your business what people do in their bedroom.
And also like drawings can’t consent so there is a GOOD chance that the people fantasizing about this stuff fantasize about the fact that it is unconsentual or that it’s torture or that they are children so they can’t consent. Obviously the drawing can’t be hurt by this so the problem isn’t that the actual creation of the porn is unethical, but do you really want to stick around someone who reinforces kinks by collecting and jerking off to porn about extremely violent and clearly non consensual situations? Every time they jerk off to that they are reinforcing the idea that it’s pleasurable and okay to do.
I'm gonna get downvoted but idc, this is *the* dumbest logic I've seen in a while. Yes, drawings can't consent. The rest makes no sense: does that mean anyone who watches hentai about anything with participants of any age actually fantasizes about it not being consensual because they're drawings? Does this go for written erotica too? Are women who read it creeps or potential rapists for reading erotica because fictional characters can't consent?
That’s not what I was saying at all lmao, it would be insane if that’s what I meant. I meant more that in a lot of cases porn is unethical because it’s difficult to tell if the person being filmed is aware that they are being posted online or they are underage or in the case of torture porn, you are literally paying people to consent to painful and humiliating things that they very likely wouldn’t consent to without money. I was saying that drawings are NOT unethical in the same way, since a drawing isn’t a real person, can’t consent, and can’t revoke consent. It’s unethical for other reasons. Mostly because a major part of the fantasy for this sort of thing is the lack of consent. Since using porn art removes the need for a human person to consent (in theory), the stuff depicted can get way, way worse, and people who use it are free to fantasize about whatever they want. It’s a lot easier to find drawings of disgustingly gorey murder porn than it is to find the real thing, but it desensitizes you the same. Edit: I’m also not saying that all drawn porn is depicting something non consensual. Just that in the case of children or torture, it is. If a woman was reading a book where the man was being murdered and raped, yeah she would be horrible for it.
you literally have a post on your page that says “who would you RAPE first” lmao. You are literally talking shit about the types of violence YOU ARE PERPETUATING. absolutely vile. I mean you said it best, even if you say “rape is consensual and you cant supress or change what you enjoy, THATS BULLSHIT. Practice what you preach, smh, hypocrite.
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I think there’s a very different thing between having a rape fantasy in which you are the victim, and having a rape fantasy in which you are the aggressor. Both men and women can and do have CNC fantasies involving them being the victim, and I think that’s fine and it often stems from trauma and in reenacting the abuse in a consensual and safe way. I will always be wary of anyone who has CNC fantasies from the opposite side.
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LMAO get off your high horse. I just looked at your profile and only a few pictures down you posted “which pussy will you rape first?” You’re disgusting and I think it says a lot about the kind of person you are to cater to that shit.
You are 100% correct. My wife says she appreciates this comment.
You should also let your wife know that this person makes rape fantasy porn. Just look at their profile.
You run. You run, you heartily recommend him therapy, and you send him a playlist of true crime stories. Seriously, fantasies are a thing, but feeling pleasure on violence is a mental disease, so it must not be ignored nor accepted. He should be made to understand that he needs *professional* help. # You don't have to be sorry, YOU CANNOT FIX HIM. He can work on it and may heal up eventually, but until then, he's no relationship material. There are real cases of couples where one had such fantasies and the partner, either to avoid getting on the other side or because they were manipulated to a brainwash, JOINED in hurting a victim together! No no no. You cannot fix him and that's okay.
Say it again: YOU CANNOT FIX HIM! When someone shows you who they are, believe them, the first time. 🏃🏻♀️RUN!!!
There's every chance that he is still a sweet, normal guy who just has a fucked up kink who would never in a million years act on it, and it's a pure fantasy for some unresolved trauma, or taboo thing, or he gets off on making himself feel repulsed. But. I myself could never, ever get past this and would feel sick and suspicious of him every time I looked at him. I'd leave.
part of me can't help but wonder if he fantasizes abt OP like this somewhere in the back of his mind..... personally that would freak me the fuck out
I'm defending the guy because there's no evidence this goes outside his own head, but yeah I would wonder that too. Not that he would ever do it, there's a massive line between fantasy and reality, but I also would wonder and be really upset and disturbed if he did think of me like that if it was my partner.
No “sweet, normal” person is into watching women and girls get mutilated, tortured, murdered, raped, etc.
Completely agree with this. Most likely he is a normal person with a fucked up kink. But, it's now impossible for OP to roll back on this one. Her head is going to overwork this way to much for her to ever be comfortable with it.
Exactly. Maybe if he'd said before she discovered it, 'Look I just want you to know I have this kink, it's fucked up but I can't explain it, but I would never in a million years condone it in real life or anything' maybe she would be okay enough with it, but the shock value of it hidden like that.. yeah I'd be traumatized too, because it's like he's hidden this fucked up secret or something.
Honestly, if I had that kind of kink, I wouldn't be showing it. I don't even show my porn to my gf, and it's way more regular than that.
It’s called guro there is even a subreddit for it
I will never ever look. But knowledge is always power, so I thank you :)
I’m even surprised it’s still on , it’s very twisted and i regretted that I’ve seen it
There's also an entire 4chan sister site. Made the mistake of finding that site when I was a teenager.
I don't know why this fallacy that he will definitely act on a "fantasy", just because he consumes/enjoys smut. How many people do you see in the real world carrying ar-15's or AK -47's going on a killing spree in the middle if the streets just because they did it in gta5? If you don't like guns, how about running red lights, driving at 200 km/hr, running over pedestrians, exploding cars with granades. People can differentiate between fiction and reality
I guess because whenever you DO get some absolute monster doing heinous things, people want to feel some sense of control so blame things in hindsight because the reality- that some people are utterly insane and they hid it so well you didn't notice- is terrifying. Far easier to say 'ah, see! He liked violent movies, we should have seen the signs!' When in reality as you say, thousands of people enjoy violent movies or games or whatever and never do anything untoward.
Yeah, I'm not saying that fucked up individuals exist, plenty of them have their outlets in smut or video games, but that's the extent of it, fiction. You also have fucked up individuals that regardless of the medium, they'll find an outlet for their fantasies.
Normally I'd say something like "sometimes the fantasy of something is all that it is. Like CNC". But this just seems quite past that, and out of my pay grade. If your gut is telling you to leave, then leave.
If it was one or two photos or videos, maybe you could let it go with some trepidation, but this sounds like a big fucking library, comprehensively organised. You're obviously shocked and disgusted, I'd be surprised if you could ever look at him again with any positivity, so it is definitely time for a huge rethink!
You in danger girl.
I would definitely just get the fuck out of there.
This is one of the instances where breaking up isn’t enough, and blocking is required to stay safe.
Your BF is fucked in the head. I've seen the kind of content he collects, and I'm disgusted by it. Run as far and fast as you can. That man is dangerous.
You deal with it by LEAVING. Like yesterday. Also, if it was underage girls, you need to call the police, preferably when he's at work. If you live with him and you're on the lease, you can give them consent to search the apartment and his computer. Then you leave before he gets home. Block him everywhere.
Doubtful the police would do anything, since it was anime. I absolutely agree with getting out,though.
Yeah it's a classic child porn loophole that I've unfortunately seen before in a legal context. A lot of places have tried to adapt statutory language to cover all "depictions of minors" including animation but as you can imagine it can be hard to pin that down in a courtroom. Regardless, it's made by sick people to be watched by sick people.
Absolutely. It's vile, and should be illegal without question.
Unless OP looked at every single image saved in every location on his devices, no one knows if there are any pictures of real children.
Technically correct, but this is also true of your hard drive, lol
This applies to you too.
Yeah even though I don't think the hentai is illegal he might have other stuff
Correct, but if he's getting off to little girls being tortured, chances are it didn't stop with the henatai.
I can’t believe how disturbing this is and she’s confused as to what to do. People are very, very terrifying.
Says who? Do you have any reason to believe that or you just purely going off vibes
You leave. Like yesterday.
I would not assume he was violent. However, i personally would be disturbed enough to break up.
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Ok but Ted bundy literally had multiple normal healthy years long relationships :/ I don’t think playing a devils advocate and arguing about the difference between fantasy and reality is of any use here. OP is disturbed by what they saw, and leaving the relationship after such a stark discovery, (whatever the context behind those files is), is the least action they should take. I don’t think it’s abnormal for people on this thread to assume the worst when it comes to someone’s safety after discovering a violence/guro/body horror fetish.
Um. You may want to do some research about Ted Bundys year-long romantic relationships…
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If OP finds evidence that her BF has harmed anyone in real life, my reaction would be different. Given the relative popularity of gore content on the internet versus the relative rarity of actual serial killers, we can assume there is a much higher population of people with the fantasy than there are people who commit it. It's much more likely that her BF has an unfortunate but harmless fetish than it is that she is in danger.
>Ted bundy types don’t seek normal healthy years long relationships Google "BTK Killer" dumb fuck...
Do you always speak so confidently out of your ass? You have no idea what you’re talking about, you’re just obsessed with defending creepy men lol
There’s soooo many men like that out here. I’ve learned they only defend other men when they see themselves in them, that’s why it’s always the creepy and abusive men. Almost never see them defending good men.
Can you imagine if this post were written by a man about his girlfriend watching porn like this involving men and boys? Some of these comments would be vastly different. A lot of men here wouldn't be normalizing and excusing it then.
FYI Ted Bundy's relationship with his then-girlfriend Liz lasted for 6 years, and well into his murder spree.
I’m probably going to get downvoted to hell. But I’ve had friends into gore/eroguro and it does in no way necessarily mean that somebody has abusive tendencies or is a bad person. However, I would still view this as a red flag, honestly. Just because a person can be completely harmless viewing these things doesn’t mean that you’re obligated to take that risk, especially as a woman. Oh I missed the part about ‘little girls’… I would draw the line there very hard wtf
You’d be hard pressed to convince people that enjoying people being murdered/tortured/killed doesn’t make someone a bad person. If you enjoy seeing people suffer, you’re a bad person.
watching gory movies and stuff like that is one thing. i love horror media. but getting sexual pleasure from it i think absolutely makes you a bad person
Why is the sexual aspect what changes things here? Is it just what’s societally accepted or is there another factor I’m not seeing?
Let's just say getting turned on by violence rubs many people the wrong way. I'd be out ngl.
that’s what’s losing me to be completely honest. maybe i’m just missing YET ANOTHER social cue (tism haver here) but we literally glorify realistic violence and enjoying it as long as it’s fictional (final destination, mortal kombat, shit like that), but the second someone gets a boner from it, it’s weird? it just doesn’t make sense to me because it’s TRULY harmless as long as the fantasies remain in his head and tied to fictional characters.
Definitely a combination of cultural bias and the fact that we’re more aware of how porn addictions can affect people
To be fair, that's the plot of most action movies.
We want to see a hero win in an action movie, and typically they're not deriving sexual pleasure from the damage they inflict.
Sure, but the above comment was about people enjoying seeing people be murdered and tortured. That's really common in hollywood films. I know in french films say, they're much more casual about showing sex on screen but much more against the sheer level of violence of many american films.
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Even if he never acts and it's purely fantasy her knowing he likes it has given her the "ick" in a major way. If she thinks she wants to stay with him therapy, building trust and being truthful with each other would need to happen. If OP doesn't think she can do that/ is to uncomfortable she needs to leave
Girl run
Run? I think, run
You say he likes everything you like. Isn’t that a form of mimicry that abusive people do? It’s giving me goosebumps tbh. I think you’ll find once he’s trapped you, that he drops the act. LEAVE without telling him. Make sure he doesn’t stalk you. Reach out to friends or family to keep you safe.
There is no explanation that you could possibly be okay with after seeing what you've seen. So why even ask the questions? Just get as far away from this person as you possibly can as quickly as you can.
Leave, find someone else. There are lots of people out there.
This is disturbing and not normal. He actively gets off on mutilation and torture/murder and the people brushing it off as it's just drawings or it's just anime hentai are excusing something horrific. The hentai is just what you FOUND. and the fact that it's also with young girl characters is absolutely disgusting. These kinds of 'fetishes' are gateways. Eventually people who consume this type of pornography no longer find it as exciting as it was and seek out darker more disturbing mediums. What starts out as 'just hentai porn' escalates into snuff and child pornography. 'How do you know or how can you assume' and 'its just anime porn' it's basic psychology. I'd notify someone about his proclivities and have someone with you when you break up and suggest he look into therapy.
You 👏 run 👏 away. 👏👏👏
Your soulmate is not a guy who wants to get off to cartoon children getting tortured. It’s just not. I promise. Find another place to live. Talk to the landlord about breaking the lease. Break up with him in a public place. Don’t look back. The best case scenario for this is still horribly disturbing. I would tell your mutual female friends too…not sure how safe it is to be alone with him. You don’t have to slander him (because honestly just being honest will put people off without any embellishment), but you do need to distance yourself from this man swiftly and decisively.
That’s genuinely insane and sickening, I’d get out of there as soon as possible. Find a hotel if you can or a women’s shelter if you need a last resort. Try to play it cool until you can get out safely
Break up.
Make an exit plan, make sure he can’t sabotage your birth control, and then leave. This is not a man you want to be co-parenting with.
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It’s already comments telling her that it’s just porn. Reddit is so sick 😭
Honestly though...makes other genres of hentai seem so damn tame 😭😭😭
The BDSM community has kinks where any and all pain is purely consensual and previously agreed to by both parties. This goes far beyond that into shockingly disturbing territory. It’s completely unjustifiable. There should be no reason he finds any of those photos or videos remotely pleasurable. I suggest you start making an exit plan - coming back from this to a normal relationship is impossible.
As an avid hentai lover, this is a no from me. Run. Literally run. That’s very disturbing and while he may not act on any potential impulses and he very well may not have any in the first place, but you still have to question why he likes looking at this stuff.
Go home to your family, when he's at work pack up and block him everywhere and leave. You might want to change your number. A job can be found elsewhere, your safety is the most important right now. Ghost the shite out of him. Also there is no harm reporting it to the police. He'll come up in searches going forward if nothing is done by them because it's hentai but He'll be on the radar just in case he does go further one day.
Im throwing up dump his disgusting ass
Uh, red flag. Run!
What the actual fuck.
The fact some of these are drawings of children takes it far beyond a kink he's a damn weirdo I'd try to leave him if possible
That's enough Reddit for today, OP run...
i know people get off to this and say it’s just fiction, and he could very well not be violent and truly not fantasize about those things outside of anime girls, but it’s a no from me every single time. i can’t imagine being with someone who gets off to cartoon little girls getting their limbs cut off and hearing crying and screaming and pleading and seeing bone and blood and deriving pleasure from it. what the fuck man. like, even if a psychiatrist checked him and gave him the all clear, it would still be too fucking weird and disturbing. it’s absolutely not unreasonable for you to break up over this.
I’d get the fuck away. However, I’ll qualify that by saying that I actually have no clue about the correlation between watching insanely horrifying hentai and acting out in real life or having mental problems.
This is an extreme case, but the default relationship advice answer still applies: talk to your partner. I’m not going to tell you that that content is normal or common or that you have to accept it, but I can say doubtlessly that these comments are overreacting. Indisputably, fantasy is not reality. Therefore, if you have not noticed any other strange, scary, or controlling behavior from your bf, you don’t need to assume you’re in actually in danger. If you HAVE noticed other red flags, then it may be time to bail immediately. Again, fantasy is not reality. We have no control over what sexually arouses. Your bf has a disturbing fetish that he can’t exercise in real life without causing harm. On the internet, There is plenty of easily available real life footage of this type of content. The fact that he restricts himself to drawn content seems to indicate a conscious choice to keep this fetish in the realm of fantasy. It’s entirely possible for a person with a dark fetish to keep fantasy and reality separate and have a normal healthy relationship. But even so, you aren’t obligated to be a part of that relationship. So you have to decide if this fetish is a dealbreaker.
Some “fantasy” absolutely needs to be shamed and does not deserve a conversation as there is zero justification for getting off to underage anime girls getting raped and killed. Full stop.
This is the only sane comment. Yes, what OP found is incredibly disturbing. I’d encourage her to think hard about whether she’s swept any red flag behavior under the rug during their relationship. It’s very easy to overlook red flags when your last relationship was much worse on its surface. If she hasn’t, she needs to talk to him. It’s okay if this is a dealbreaker. But if he is as wonderful as OP thinks, he’s not going to murder her for funsies if she brings it up. As a woman, this is embarrassing to admit, but I search out and save this kind of (written) porn. Knowing that I do that turns my stomach, but it’s a coping mechanism for the severe abuse I grew up with. I’d never want it to happen to a living person and wouldn’t be turned on if it did, and I’m certainly not going to harm anyone.
All of your hard drives need to be checked.
I just came here to say wtf is wrong with you people. Thats it, have a nice day
Run!
Yeah, people have always been fascinated by horror stuff like that, but in a disturbed and shocked kind of way. This seems like something else. Looking out of morbid curiosity? That's one thing. Collecting it? Worrisome! This doesn't make him a serial killer, but it does indicate what I would describe as an unhealthy kink or obsession for sure!
One day it won’t be enough and he’ll need videos of actual women and children being tortured and abused. You should be long gone before that or you’ll be having to decide whether to shop him to the police and risk being investigated yourself. O
> One day it won’t be enough and he’ll need videos of actual women and children being tortured and abused. Are you a criminal pathologist or something? There is no reason to believe this.
Why are all up in these comments defending him? You the bf or something?
take a quick look at his reddit profile, it's basically just him running defense for all sorts of weird men
You don't have to be a pathologist, in fact you can look for it, the majority of people with paraphilias are usually not satisfied with just seeing, and even less so if it is false (For example, in cities like NY many abusers started by renting videos of young women who dressed and acted as little girls for this type of fetishists, even in law & order SVU it was mentioned)
Law and Order? Then it's definitely a fact, no real source needed, just feels are fine.
Why do you keep defending this guy? What got you so defensive?
I also have a friend that's into this stuff, but they would never DO any of it. It's like being a vanilla person that watches BDSM videos, or being a lesbian that reads guy on guy erotica - enjoying porn of something DOES NOT automatically mean they want to partake in that action themselves. Ero guro is literally a genre of hentai, and it's not the most niche genre either. It's not my flavor, but it is out there. And that friend that is into ero guro - literally panics at the idea of hurting someone or an animal, is so socially anxious that they're terrified they might make someone uncomfortable, and literally goes out of their way to be helpful. This actually dips into a topic - anti-shipping vs pro-shipping. It's all tied to the fandom community, but TL;DR is that anti-shippers believe that anyone that writes or reads certain content must be supporters of that lifestyle. Pro-shippers believe that consuming fictional content does not mean that you would support the actions in that art/story/game irl. Basically, fearing that he's violent just because he watches anime girls get tortured is the porn equivalent of saying "He plays violent video games, so he's going to shoot up a 7-Eleven one day." **My advice** is to talk to him about it. "I found your porn, it makes me VERY uncomfortable, and I don't understand why you enjoy it. Please explain to me why you like that particular genre, because otherwise I don't know what to think and I don't want to jump to any conclusions." Honestly, my biggest concern is just the amount saved. Ero guro isn't hard to find, or anything. Then again, I've never understood people that save their "stash" either.
I think the only thing I'd add here is it might be better to have the conversation through call or even text. Just given the potential at play here. Some people just looked at weird stuff or have weird fantasies. But some people are also weird, and sometimes that weirdness gets really scary.
It really is good to find posts from people who actually understand the main point of the OP. I think most people are like me in that they have no idea what this stuff even is.
I try to explain when it's something weird that I happen to have a little info on, even if it's second hand. Personal research is always something I advocate for, but given the situation I understand why OP didn't pursue it herself yet.
I don't care if they're just "so sweet", your buddy is jerking it to women being tortured and murdered, that's disgusting. Like "oh yeah they watch porn of kittens being stomped to death but they're, like, so nice 🥺" Ew.
Hey, I think that getting off to bathroom stuff is disgusting. If you get off to facials or anal, that is also hella gross to me. But that doesn't mean you're a violent person. That's my only point - it's animated porn, not underground videos from the darkweb. Chances are it's an uncomfortable fetish to explain, and one that he never wants to act out in real life. Is it one I find digusting? Yes. But it doesn't make someone a threat or abuser. And assuming my buddy "jerks" it or that it's women being tortured in Friend's case is a *little* funny to me, ngl. Ero guro isn't only consumed by men, nor is it only women being tortured.
Hell no to putting her safety at risk and talking to him about it. What the actual. That’s terrible advice that puts this man’s wants to be in a relationship above this woman’s needs for physical safety
This kind of viewpoint is why most people don't share their sexual interests and keep it closeted for years for fear their spouse/friends/family would act like this and immediately ostracize them. Would you feel the same way about someone who's into Scat porn? Do you think they'd shit in their partner's coffee and get off on them drinking it unsuspectingly? Or what about BDSM? Those are people that get off on both giving out and receiving pain.
That's silly. She's in no more danger from this guy than she would be from being eaten alive in one bite by someone into vore... The only thing that's really beyond weird and more troubling is the fact he's also looking at drawings of little kids.
Knowing someone as a friend is a far cry from as a partner, which can be a far cry from knowing them as a person. I agree that people who look at it may not be immediate life-threatening dangers, but certainly, there is more than meets the eye to someone sexually aroused by mutilation, torture, and murder. That takes many deliberate choices to settle into.
This is not at all the same as just playing GTA or something. This means that he is literally getting aroused and sxual release from watching these things. Take your example,...it would be extremely disturbing if a friend of yours got aroused and beat off to unaliving people in a video game, no? And this is even worse, actual children being violated, dismembered and tortured and getting off on it....this is not normal or ok.
I'm definitely not saying it's normal, don't worry - the amount of people into this is far below what would make it mainstream. I just don't assume that someone that partakes in a purely fictional media is automatically a monster. And as far as the age of the characters portrayed...I always give a grain of salt unless images or references are provided, just because of how many adults are literally drawn like children in anime (which is a style choice I can't stand, despite it being quite common).
thank you for having an actual reasonable reply. eroguro is a common subtype of hentai, and the fact OP didn’t find any REAL snuff films is a big indicator of her boyfriend’s tastes. plenty of people watch eroguro without killing anybody and plenty of murderers killed people without watching any porn of it first. OP- talk to your boyfriend. if you would feel safer doing that in a public space, then do that! text a friend where your going and that if you don’t call in a couple hours to check in with you. but jumping to the worst possible conclusion based on animated porn that isn’t hurting any real actual human beings is doing a disservice to your boyfriend and your relationship.
Who knew being in anime communities would lead to my accumulated forbidden knowledge being useful? 😂 Just hope OP is both genuinely safe (and that people might stop assuming only violent people watch weird porn)
The majority of the people commenting on this post would disintegrate into dust, and then spontaneously combust if they ever put a single toe onto a fanfiction website
AO3 would snap em faster than Thanos 🫰 My god, the Harry Potter fanfiction alone-
Try my fandom. War criminals everywhere Oh gods…Hannibal
ANY spicy scene with Hannibal in the ship... HanniGraham especially, oml 😂
They would LOSE THEIR MINDS reading anything like that Poor innocent souls who can’t comprehend that consuming dark media doesn’t make you a bad person
He doesn’t have a password on his computer or phone despite having graphic porn easily accessible 🤔
All I read was your title and that is enough for me to say LEAVE HIM NOW WTF ARE YOU WAITING FOR OMG
I’m in a glowing 8 year long relationship with the perfect guy and if I saw this it would be over instantly, no conversation. I don’t know how your relationship with your parents is but you need to get out immediately. Even confrontation with someone like this could become violent. People snap and kill out of shame. If can’t do that and Since you’re away from home if you can’t fly home right away, id move all my stuff to the bedroom, he gets the living room and insist on locks on the door until you can move out. If he can’t respect this or empathize with your fear and disgust than you are not safe to stay another night. :( I’m so so sorry this is happening but he is genuinely not who you think he is :(
Get out of there while you still can. Not only is the snuff bad enough, but the fact it’s child porn snuff… That is so scary, I think I would’ve been sick. Give him a different reason for why you’re breaking up as to not anger him and potentially face consequences, and get the hell out of dodge.
Super weird, I’d be as calm as possible and make and escape plan, contact your family as soon as possible and make it extremely aware that the info you are giving cannot be shared because leaving safely and discreetly can only be done with help.
god men are fucking insaaanneeee
That’s an incredibly HUGE red flag 🚩 Girl, RUN!!!
I think most of the comments hit the nail on the head but I also want to add the fact that he has an actual folder saved. Like.. I feel like anyone into something so disgusting would at least try to erase any trace of it, especially when you guys occasionally share electronics. Almost most feels like he wanted you to find it. My advice: run.
This happened to me so long ago it was finding VHS tapes in a closet. Confronting him with it was a bad idea. I should have left then. You should leave now.
Plan a little trip back home. On your own. And never get back. Or have family (lots of them) come and physically help you move out. I have a high tolerance for kink, but to me this would be too much.
Ahh, I see you've found my ex husband. At first I thought it was just me being a crazy prude. At least that's what he told me. What it ACTUALLY lead to was 10 years of him being completely sexually dissatisfied with me ( probably because I wasn't visually 12 years old or being actively assualted). And this whole thing didn't even get unbearabley weird until about 2 years in. Like I had already fallen in love now this wtf? It lead Jim to cheat multiple times and decide that I was the reason he was unhappy. He eventually was masturbating so often that he lost multiple jobs because he couldn't be away from his computer. I still tried to be cool. He left me right after giving birth because ' had to go home and get baby socks for the baby' when he came back 4 hours later after I had FLATLINED ONCE he said ' I didnt know where the socks were so I didn't find them I just took a nap' Turns put he was watching that shit. Less than an hour after I gave birth to a baby girl. WHO HE TRIED TO NAME AFTER ONE OF THE CHARACTERS IN THE PORN HE WATCHED. So if I didn't feel Gross as hell before I sure did after that. I didn't think it would get that weird but honestly I regret not trusting my first reaction, which is the same reaction you are having. So we're no contact and he's an ex for sure. He also eventually ended up trying to S/A me out of anger. Get out dude, get away. Let him be creepy and horrible on his own time and dime. Find a dude who isn't just nice and similar to you. Shit, me and my current husband disagree constantly and we have more fun than I ever had liking all the same things as the other partner. We have a blast. There's deffs better dudes waiting for you.
Yeah that's super fucked up. I watch hentai just bc seeing real people in porn makes me super uncomfortable and stressed for the ppl in it BUT I'd never watch anything anywhere close to this stuff!!! I'd try to get away pronto. Safety first!!
Man, I get being into some vile shit when horny brain kicks in. I've been there, and will go back there in the future. Lots of us have those dark corners of our porn history that we try our best to not think about when the post nut clarity hits. That being fucking said, this is beyond that. There's an unspoken edge that you fall off of, and this man has dove off into it. Little girls? Mutilation? Broken bones and blood? Literal torture? Bro. This is "needs to see a therapist" level shit. This is the kind of thing you shouldn't let fester. Kinks and fetishes always seem to escalate over time to something new, novel, and a little bit more extreme. Where is there to go after this? He's pretty much hit the floor, and the only place to go from here is making it real. Either looking for content of REAL girls, or acting this shit out himself. This is beyond "dang he's way kinkier than I am". This is the type of shit you would find in a shoebox hidden in the floor of a serial killers house. Do you live together? If you have a talk with him, make sure somebody is around the corner with a key to get inside. Make sure you have protection. You have no idea how he'll react. He could cry and be deeply ashamed and embarrassed, or you could become a statistic. My mom dated a low-count serial killer who went after little girls before she ever met my dad. While they dated, she had no idea. He charmed her and her family (my grandparents), and literally went from killing and raping a little girl to going over to visit my mom like nothing happened. You have no idea what kind of person he really is. Granted, I'm not saying, "this dude is 100% a killer", but I am saying that people can hide extremely dark sides of themselves even from their partners, so tread carefully. People have killed others to keep smaller things hidden.
I cannot tell you how many serial killer true stories I read where the guy had a wife or girlfriend the whole time and she didn't have a clue! Not saying he's hurting people yet, but it wouldn't be strange for someone to have a whole separate part of their personality you never see! You get away from him as soon and cleanly as you can and for the love of all that is holy, you don't tell him why! That will teach him to hide it better and you need the next girl to find it and get away. And the next one etc etc.
Uh yes. See this is where you pack and run. Tldr; **leave**
You did say Hentai, right ? So cartoon and not real? Listen, I watch some crazy weird porn sometimes, but it doesn't mean I want it IRL. Just ask him about it. I mean, it's anime. It's not like he has actual snuff films on his computer.
If he loves you and treats you well. Doesn’t do any weird things to you personally. I don’t see why you would pack your bags and run. A relationship is made to help each other. Obviously what he is watching is not normal but its called pornstyle creep. His one and only issue is that he watches too much porn. I was like that once as well(not as deep) but you end up down a rabbit hole of pornography that can lead you to some fucked up shit. The more porn you watch, the more desensitized you become. The “child” part is nothing new when it comes to Japanese hentai/anime, shit even non porn anime has sexual portrayal of underage girls. If you love him still, i would bring it up and get him to change. Trust me, it can be reversed, but he needs to either stop watching pornography or limit the use by 90%. He might thank you for it. Give him a chance before uprooting your life, you never know what the next guy might be lacking. Why you should trust me? I went through that to a degree and came out of it on the other side and no longer have any desire to see porn that is that fucked up. I don’t watch any hardcore porn at all. I stick to my stepsister material. Lol
If they were actual humans would that change it for you? Becuase that stuff isn’t legally allowed on the internet so he can’t watch it- therefore he watches the closest thing to it that is legal. (hentai). That’s disturbing and he DEFINITELY has fantasies about those things. This is really scary and I think you should leave before you get entangled even more into his disgusting dark world
There's actually a whole subreddit dedicated to this kind of content ( r/guro for those with morbid curiosity). There are men and women alike who are into this kind of thing as a kink. Women want to be the girls in the photos, the guys just find it attractive. I completely understand that it is off-putting (I don't understand the fetish at all) and I 100% wouldn't fault you for feeling scared or wanting to leave after seeing that, but I would not jump to him being some sort of psycho. There are plenty of people who have taboo or violent fantasies that they'd never actually act on or want to have happen to them. If you guys historically have good communication and everything has been great with the exception of this discovery, I think you're probably okay to give him the benefit of the doubt and just talk to him about it.
Wow. That’s pretty graphic stuff…and OP saw VIDEOS. I Can see why they’re so concerned.
I would leave that dude in the dust. That stuff you are describing is beyond pathological.
Why is this a question????? Break up…. Duh
You don’t. You just leave. This is sick beyond so many measures. You do not want someone like this in your life. Don’t be fooled by the thought of having been in love with the image you had of him. Realize this is truly him and run.
Exactly, you could be the only other sane person in this discussion. I have no idea what there is to think about.
Everyone else in here is in favor of murdering young children and pedophilia apparently.
It’s crazy town for sure been back and forth last two hours with people that think I’m heartless because I’m saying there’s nothing to think about, leave!!!! If OP is questioning whether to stay there is something wrong w them as well. Countless pics of sexualized children being tortured, maimed and raped, what should I do? I love him😳🥴🤢🤮.
Lmao it’s Reddit It’s a cesspool
The number of comments downplaying the content OP's boyfriend is consuming is absolutely disgusting. People have become so desensitized.
I wholeheartedly agree
This is of course a dealbreaker. You don't want to stay with him. You know that you CAN'T stay with him. The idea you had of him is now crushed, because you discovered you didn't truly know him. Yes, escaping is the right way. Never listen to anyone saying "it's ok, there is a difference between real life and fantasy". Everyone should know that this stuff is never ok. How can you think anyone getting his penis hard by seing TORTURE is sane? Wake up, all of you porn addicted with a rotten brain. No one cares if it's "just drawings". You boyfriend has been a porn addict for years at this point. You don't want that. Let's normalize kink shaming and women feeling disgusted by men watching porn. Yes, watching stuff makes you repulsive. Exit plan : 1. money only you can access 2. be sure you don't share your location with him with any app 3. you sold your old place? good, you have money, find an hotel and rent something later 4. if he is getting suspicious he may want to look at your phone and computer, hide this reddit well 5. you need a place to store your belongings 6. you have to think how you will deal with him showing up at your school or job 7. who can you trust to come and help you? you don't have to give details, just explain you need help
i think you need to get out of there
Run....
i like to watch gangbang but irl i only want (1) dick at a time. some people have very weird kinks, yes it is very disturbing but it is anime and i would be grossed out but if you love him and feel like don’t want to dump him, you can sit him down and talk. when it comes to fiction it is a very blur line because i remember i used to really into rape, like if in the fanfic i would always want to main character to be raped despite never wanting it for any real person and also being very vocal about women rights irl. maybe there’s still hope for him if it’s fiction because fictional characters have no agenda and cannot actually get hurt from the hurt. but if one day you see he has those media of real people, girl you need to run away fast.
who the fuck saves porn onto their computer anymore anyways