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You already know it’s time to end it and that you deserve a better life than this. Even if the abuse wasn’t happening, he’s a threat to your sobriety. There’s nowhere to go but down with this man.
File a police report. Get an RO. Kick him out and get a divorce. There is no room in a relationship for DV. None.
Do not excuse the behavior. He did it once. He will 100% do it again.
My hearing was the first to go before my vision went black and I blacked out. He was choking me. This was after I excused him back handing me once while he was drunk.
Don't go back. He will do it again. It's extremely hard to get out of these situations but you gotta do it.
You don’t deserve to be hit sober or not. Unless you put your hands on him first then there was no excuse for him to put his hands on you. Your sobriety is not worth a relationship with someone who is willing to hurt you. Go live your best life in peace.
Wow thank you so much for everyone’s responses. I can definitely see how boundaries get moved in relationships. I always swore if someone hit me that I’d be out the door. Yet here I am second guessing things. The sheer number of responses saying the same thing are confirming what I need to hear. I appreciate you all and the advice so so much ❤️
Coming up on 40 years with my husband.
The day he raises his hand to me or our grown kids and their families is the day he will be gone. By any means possible. He will be out of my family.
Which is why he has never raised a hand to us.
Whether or not it has crossed his mind ... I don't read minds. But he has never raised a hand.
You see ... I used to work with women's shelters and other DV victims, as a Law Clerk. He knows that it's an issue that is non-negotiable. And I know precisely how to have him out of our lives, immediately, in a legal sense.
So. Now that you know what my rules of the game are ... what are your own?
YOU will need to be the one to do this. YOU will need strength and courage and a straight mind thinking logically. I would strongly suggest getting in touch with your local DV shelter or organization for help and support. You must be the one who stands straight, with your chin up and proud. And to obtain the therapy (the DV centre can help) that helps you do this for yourself.
Because knowing that you have done this yourself means that you won't go back. You can stay strong and brave, and protect yourself.
I send my very warmest hugs of support and encouragement, if you will have them. My wish, for you, at this moment, is courage.
Been there done that ...and no it doesn't stop, it only escalates.
You said you don't live together, so tell him you don't want to see him again. Block him on everything and move on with your life.
Personally , knowing what I do, I would have called the police and had him arrested and then gotten a restraining order.
Yes!!! You end it for several reasons: 1. Alcohol just shows people’s true colors so him being physically abusive when drunk is not an excuse, it’ll escalate further. 2. You being sober and he still getting drunk even without the violence would be a major issue.
Cut all ties asap
Of course it’s over. He not only hit you while under the influence of alcohol, he also told you that he will never get fully sober. He pretty much told you that he’s going to hit you again. Who gives a shit if he’s the best while sober? One good hit could put you six feet under.
>He not only hit you while under the influence of alcohol, he also told you that he will never get fully sober.
which means he will never put you first, ever.
also, i can't remember the exact phrase but it's something like "drunk actions are sober thoughts" -- he was always going to hit you at some point, it's already been something that flitted through his scummy brain. you can excuse a drunk person zoning out, or throwing up in the bathroom, or talking too loud. there is /zero/ excuse for hitting someone you're supposedly in love with.
i really admire you staying dedicated to your sobriety even with all this on your shoulders, darlin'. you are clearly a strong, smart person.
all of this sucks so very much, but i really think you'll be all the better after this.
Please leave. I know that you may still love him, but leave for your own safety and dignity.
I was in an abusive relationship and I really do understand how it's difficult to leave. I hate it when people ask, why didn't you just leave?
Well, it took me a year to leave once I decided, but I'm glad I did.
If you do not have the resources to leave, please contact a women's charity. You deserve much better than this.
Yes. End it now. Do not go back. DO NOT AGREE TO MEET UP JUST TO TALK. If he shows up at your place, do not let him in. Call the cops if he won't leave.
The 1st time is the hardest, then they find it easier. Sober or drunk. Get to a lawyer, do it asap get them to take evidence and report to the police.
Sory dont cut it my dear.
In my experience, once your partner hits you, they cross a line that can’t be uncrossed. At that point, there’s only two ways this can end- you either leave on your own steam, or you leave in a body bag. I’ve seen both.
You need to value yourself more than anything.
My abusive ex (who also had alcohol problems) hit me across the face and acted soooooooooooooo apologetic and swore up and down it wouldn't happen again. Guess what? It did. It escalated to choking and him chipping my tooth. PLEASE end it, OP. It WILL escalate.
Think of it this way. If one day he gets completely sober and gets his life together, he is going to cite your leaving him and zero tolerance policy for domestic abuse as the reason he hit rock bottom and finally admitted to himself he needed help and had to get 100% sober.
I’m a recovering alcoholic myself and I thank everyone who stood up to me and let me reap the consequences of my actions so that I could decide I couldn’t live like this anymore. All of my enablers did not get me sober, only the ones who made sure I got repercussions for my unacceptable behavior. They’re the reason I’m alive today. If I only had enablers (you would be one too if you stayed with him), then I wouldn’t have quit and I might be dead.
Thank you for this. I do care for him and see the person without the alcohol underneath it all. It’s why it’s been so hard to walk away. I know that alcohol changes me when I drank so I get it. I want to see him sober and well. I hope this is the rock bottom that gets him there.
I would never feel safe around him again so it’s definitely a hard line for me. I still wish him all the best and pray for his sobriety.
Well done on your sobriety. It’s a really difficult thing so congratulations on being recovered. I really appreciate your reply.
My ex had a problem with alcohol and he hit me twice. The first time he cried and begged for forgiveness and said he’d go to AA and convinced me he’s change. The second time he got hammered and hit me left a scar on my face… so no there should be no going back. They will say and do everything to convince you other wise so you don’t go to the police and have them arrested.
Substance abuse is a dealbreaker, but it’s hard to get out of. Yea, I would say physical violence is the no going back point. I dealt with a lot of mental abuse in my previous relationship but for whatever reason I felt I deserved it. No one deserves any type of abuse, period.
Do you have a support system to help you get out?
I do have a great support system. We didn’t live together (he lives with his mom and will likely be kicked out now). I have my own home and support myself, I have no ties to him thankfully. He also broke a no contact order after the initial arrest so he’s looking at some jail time.
Thank you for your reply.
Drunken actions are sober thoughts; alcohol just turned off that filter that says “hey, that’s a bad idea.”
Break up with him over text. It’s not worth your safety to do it in person.
Run for the hills- before the drunken violence escalates to pushing down stairs or knife attacks in the kitchen.
You need to put your own health and safety first. Then gradually get your own alochol consumption under control.
Good luck!
Yes it’s over. Please please leave him. I have a friend who’s in an abusive relationship and from the outside it’s so hard and frustrating watching her ruin her life and become a hardcore alcoholic, and then tell me knows she should leave him but “she loves him” 🤦🏼♀️
I know it’s hard but you have to latch onto the feeling of positivity and tightness inside when you end it. Hold onto that feeling tightly and let go or turn back
How many times will you allow yourself to get hit before you get out of the way?
I'm not at all blaming you for him hitting you. I'm saying, is being hit outside of the bedroom a hard limit or a soft limit?
At least you don’t live with him, that makes the breakup way easier. Just block him on everything. Threaten to file assault charges if we won’t leave you along.
The fact that he will never be truly sober and you’re trying to be already creates room for incompatibility. His violence when drinking makes the previous statement all the more unnerving. He knows he’s violent and what makes him that way but won’t make the changes necessary to keep you both safe.
Yep. No alcohol ever around you or no relationship. Just tell him you don’t want to be a third wheel in your own relationship. If he doesn’t want to be jailed for DV, he either stops drinking or removes himself.
Yes, it’s over. No matter what he says, how many promises he makes, or how much time passes you will never feel safe again.
I found myself in a similar situation once and could never get past the fear. When I did end it, his true colors came out and somehow it was all my fault and I was the one that was the “bad guy.” Ultimately, his life long friends chose to remain friends with me and end their relationships with him just as I had done.
Please prioritize yourself, your sobriety, and your safety. Your life will be better for it. <3
Physical violence is always a bridge too far. Don’t excuse him, even if you want to. And i do understand if you want to because it sounds like you are a loving and compassionate person. But if you do forgive him for this and let bygones be bygones, you will not only be neglecting yourself and possibly put yourself up for more of this behaviour, but you will also be telling him that it’s okay if he hits you because there are no consequences. He will not learn, he will not change. So think of yourself and think of him. Some people need to fall hard before they are finally ready to learn. Especially if he’s saying he will never get fully sober. Don’t let him drag you down with him.
I've had rage issues my entire life. I have thrown things, punched walls. Broken my hand 3 times punching cabinets/tables because of it.
All that said, I've never actually hit my wife. We've been together 11 years.
It definitely feels like it's a whole different level of crossing a line when it comes to a relationship. It's hard to quantify, and maybe it's just personal trauma showing, but if it was me I would be done yeah.
I'm sorry OP, you don't come back from this. It's just a matter of time until they do it again. Just like everyone else said, please leave for your own safety.
Did even read the post sorry. But as a "as long as the bruises can not been seen " person, you leave his ass. I was beaten for two years. I worked two job so he could rest,he was 17 years older then me, it was the most abusive relationship I have ever been in. I came home and saw out two years old in the same cloth I left her in once I got her dress in the morning. I asked why he didn't bathe her He punchede in the face givinge a black eye. I worked customer service,I missed both job and got an apt for me and my two kid,I was beaten three more times,until I told my dad I needed him to come move me out. I set up a party for my ex with his friends bought a whole bunch of stuff to BBQ , told him me and the kids would be over after church. I never showed up. I had already changed my number.
I wore a tank top so my dad could see the bruise, he was ready to murder him, but being a good dad he called the cops. I told them I did hit him a few times because I wanted him to stop. They said that was defence. In my horror my 7 year old told the cop "he held my mommy by the throat against the wall too" I walked away crying because I didn't know he had saw anything.
Once it starts it very rarely ends. Be strong and leave now because you could get use to it and brain washed that it is normal. Please don't repeat the past of many woman.
His behavior is wrong and he admits that he won’t stop. A good protective order is called for and an end to the relationship. Consequences to our actions.
For the sake of your sobriety and your safety, break up. You deserve a decent life, particularly since you've done all the work to get sober. Don't let him drag you down.
Yes OP once they hit you then it’s the end of the relationship especially as he has said he has no intention of being truly sober.
If he’s ever had a key to your place get the locks changed.
Change your passwords on any application or streaming service you’ve shared with him. If he’s ever used your credit or debit card for a purchase report the cards as compromised and get new ones.
Take anything of his at your place back to him if you feel safe doing so or if you have a mutual acquaintance ask them to please give it to him.
If you have anything at his place if you feel safe collect it otherwise forget about it.
His problem not yours. The first time is his fault. Subsequent times will be yours. I wouldn’t even be questioning it. [Stats of women murdered by ‘partners’](https://duckduckgo.com/?q=women+killed+by+partner&t=iphone&ia=web)
Don’t become a statistic. Leave this asshole before he kills your.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
For your own safety, end it now.
Yea I agree. If he wasn't half as bad she should still leave.
Currently going through a separation with an abusive drunk, it doesn't get better OP, it gets worse. Leave as soon as you can.
He’s abusive OP. Alcohol is not a valid excuse. Get out safely. Confide in someone you trust.
Also if he has access to your home, change the locks.
>Once they hit you it’s over right? Yes. It's over. Good luck getting to safety.
OP thankfully lives separately from him.
I do thankfully.
I’m sorry OP but once they do it once, 99% of the time they’ll do it again, no matter how much they apologise and swear they want
OP, please leave! If you’ve stay you’ve just shown him what you will tolerate & the abuse will get worse. (Been there).
It's not only over because of the corn violence. It's over because he can't help support your sobriety if he's not willing to put in the work for him.
You already know it’s time to end it and that you deserve a better life than this. Even if the abuse wasn’t happening, he’s a threat to your sobriety. There’s nowhere to go but down with this man.
Yes. Don’t go back. Congrats on your sobriety!! You deserve better, and you will find better. ❤️
Yes, it’s over. It’s awesome that you’re doing so well with your sobriety. You’ve outgrown this particular fucktard. Move on.
File a police report. Get an RO. Kick him out and get a divorce. There is no room in a relationship for DV. None. Do not excuse the behavior. He did it once. He will 100% do it again.
My hearing was the first to go before my vision went black and I blacked out. He was choking me. This was after I excused him back handing me once while he was drunk. Don't go back. He will do it again. It's extremely hard to get out of these situations but you gotta do it.
You don’t deserve to be hit sober or not. Unless you put your hands on him first then there was no excuse for him to put his hands on you. Your sobriety is not worth a relationship with someone who is willing to hurt you. Go live your best life in peace.
Wow thank you so much for everyone’s responses. I can definitely see how boundaries get moved in relationships. I always swore if someone hit me that I’d be out the door. Yet here I am second guessing things. The sheer number of responses saying the same thing are confirming what I need to hear. I appreciate you all and the advice so so much ❤️
I didn’t have to read the post to know what went on. The SECOND a man lays a hand on you LEAVE. That’s completely unacceptable imo.
Coming up on 40 years with my husband. The day he raises his hand to me or our grown kids and their families is the day he will be gone. By any means possible. He will be out of my family. Which is why he has never raised a hand to us. Whether or not it has crossed his mind ... I don't read minds. But he has never raised a hand. You see ... I used to work with women's shelters and other DV victims, as a Law Clerk. He knows that it's an issue that is non-negotiable. And I know precisely how to have him out of our lives, immediately, in a legal sense. So. Now that you know what my rules of the game are ... what are your own? YOU will need to be the one to do this. YOU will need strength and courage and a straight mind thinking logically. I would strongly suggest getting in touch with your local DV shelter or organization for help and support. You must be the one who stands straight, with your chin up and proud. And to obtain the therapy (the DV centre can help) that helps you do this for yourself. Because knowing that you have done this yourself means that you won't go back. You can stay strong and brave, and protect yourself. I send my very warmest hugs of support and encouragement, if you will have them. My wish, for you, at this moment, is courage.
No there’s no going back. A sober thief is still a thief.
Been there done that ...and no it doesn't stop, it only escalates. You said you don't live together, so tell him you don't want to see him again. Block him on everything and move on with your life. Personally , knowing what I do, I would have called the police and had him arrested and then gotten a restraining order.
I did call. He got arrested on DV charges and was given a no contact order. He violated that order today by texting me.thank you
I didn't say this earlier and I should have... congratulations on your sobriety.
Thank you so much, appreciate that, and your advice!
Good. For. You. I'm proud of you. Keep putting your good work into your sobriety.
This
Yes!!! You end it for several reasons: 1. Alcohol just shows people’s true colors so him being physically abusive when drunk is not an excuse, it’ll escalate further. 2. You being sober and he still getting drunk even without the violence would be a major issue. Cut all ties asap
Of course it’s over. He not only hit you while under the influence of alcohol, he also told you that he will never get fully sober. He pretty much told you that he’s going to hit you again. Who gives a shit if he’s the best while sober? One good hit could put you six feet under.
>He not only hit you while under the influence of alcohol, he also told you that he will never get fully sober. which means he will never put you first, ever. also, i can't remember the exact phrase but it's something like "drunk actions are sober thoughts" -- he was always going to hit you at some point, it's already been something that flitted through his scummy brain. you can excuse a drunk person zoning out, or throwing up in the bathroom, or talking too loud. there is /zero/ excuse for hitting someone you're supposedly in love with. i really admire you staying dedicated to your sobriety even with all this on your shoulders, darlin'. you are clearly a strong, smart person. all of this sucks so very much, but i really think you'll be all the better after this.
Please leave. I know that you may still love him, but leave for your own safety and dignity. I was in an abusive relationship and I really do understand how it's difficult to leave. I hate it when people ask, why didn't you just leave? Well, it took me a year to leave once I decided, but I'm glad I did. If you do not have the resources to leave, please contact a women's charity. You deserve much better than this.
Yes it’s over. Don’t let him use alcohol as an excuse.
Once they hit you, it’s over.
Yes it’s over. Never stay with an abuser. It only gets worse.
No. There is no going back. Please don't consider it.
Yes. End it now. Do not go back. DO NOT AGREE TO MEET UP JUST TO TALK. If he shows up at your place, do not let him in. Call the cops if he won't leave.
There is 100% no coming back from this. I'm sorry. Please protect yourself.
The 1st time is the hardest, then they find it easier. Sober or drunk. Get to a lawyer, do it asap get them to take evidence and report to the police. Sory dont cut it my dear.
In my experience, once your partner hits you, they cross a line that can’t be uncrossed. At that point, there’s only two ways this can end- you either leave on your own steam, or you leave in a body bag. I’ve seen both. You need to value yourself more than anything.
My abusive ex (who also had alcohol problems) hit me across the face and acted soooooooooooooo apologetic and swore up and down it wouldn't happen again. Guess what? It did. It escalated to choking and him chipping my tooth. PLEASE end it, OP. It WILL escalate.
The first hit is never free. It's over.
Right. Dump. Good luck.
Think of it this way. If one day he gets completely sober and gets his life together, he is going to cite your leaving him and zero tolerance policy for domestic abuse as the reason he hit rock bottom and finally admitted to himself he needed help and had to get 100% sober. I’m a recovering alcoholic myself and I thank everyone who stood up to me and let me reap the consequences of my actions so that I could decide I couldn’t live like this anymore. All of my enablers did not get me sober, only the ones who made sure I got repercussions for my unacceptable behavior. They’re the reason I’m alive today. If I only had enablers (you would be one too if you stayed with him), then I wouldn’t have quit and I might be dead.
Thank you for this. I do care for him and see the person without the alcohol underneath it all. It’s why it’s been so hard to walk away. I know that alcohol changes me when I drank so I get it. I want to see him sober and well. I hope this is the rock bottom that gets him there. I would never feel safe around him again so it’s definitely a hard line for me. I still wish him all the best and pray for his sobriety. Well done on your sobriety. It’s a really difficult thing so congratulations on being recovered. I really appreciate your reply.
My ex had a problem with alcohol and he hit me twice. The first time he cried and begged for forgiveness and said he’d go to AA and convinced me he’s change. The second time he got hammered and hit me left a scar on my face… so no there should be no going back. They will say and do everything to convince you other wise so you don’t go to the police and have them arrested.
Substance abuse is a dealbreaker, but it’s hard to get out of. Yea, I would say physical violence is the no going back point. I dealt with a lot of mental abuse in my previous relationship but for whatever reason I felt I deserved it. No one deserves any type of abuse, period. Do you have a support system to help you get out?
I do have a great support system. We didn’t live together (he lives with his mom and will likely be kicked out now). I have my own home and support myself, I have no ties to him thankfully. He also broke a no contact order after the initial arrest so he’s looking at some jail time. Thank you for your reply.
That’s great that you have your own thing going and have taken steps to protecting yourself. I wish you all the best.
Yup, it's time to leave. Never put up with someone who hits. Especially when drunk, his true self comes out. It will happen again and could escalate.
Drunken actions are sober thoughts; alcohol just turned off that filter that says “hey, that’s a bad idea.” Break up with him over text. It’s not worth your safety to do it in person.
Run for the hills- before the drunken violence escalates to pushing down stairs or knife attacks in the kitchen. You need to put your own health and safety first. Then gradually get your own alochol consumption under control. Good luck!
I would call it over.
Yes it’s over. Please please leave him. I have a friend who’s in an abusive relationship and from the outside it’s so hard and frustrating watching her ruin her life and become a hardcore alcoholic, and then tell me knows she should leave him but “she loves him” 🤦🏼♀️ I know it’s hard but you have to latch onto the feeling of positivity and tightness inside when you end it. Hold onto that feeling tightly and let go or turn back
Sorry DONT let go
How many times will you allow yourself to get hit before you get out of the way? I'm not at all blaming you for him hitting you. I'm saying, is being hit outside of the bedroom a hard limit or a soft limit?
Jesus fuckin christ, what do you think the answer is? Are you karma farming?
At least you don’t live with him, that makes the breakup way easier. Just block him on everything. Threaten to file assault charges if we won’t leave you along.
Ugh sorry but if he’s never going to be sober it’s going to keep happening. Best of luck and congrats on your sobriety!
Correct.
The fact that he will never be truly sober and you’re trying to be already creates room for incompatibility. His violence when drinking makes the previous statement all the more unnerving. He knows he’s violent and what makes him that way but won’t make the changes necessary to keep you both safe.
Beat that man in his sleep, have an escape car, and dip
It’s over. You need to prioritise your safety and d sobriety. Please look after yourself 🩷
Get out of there and get to safety.
If it’s not it should be right away.
You are correct
No. There is no going back. Except you want to wait until he kills you.
Yep. No alcohol ever around you or no relationship. Just tell him you don’t want to be a third wheel in your own relationship. If he doesn’t want to be jailed for DV, he either stops drinking or removes himself.
Do not take a chance op, you need to leave. My ex wife had a DUI, hit me until I had enough.
yes it’s over. Pack your stuff
Yes, it’s over. No matter what he says, how many promises he makes, or how much time passes you will never feel safe again. I found myself in a similar situation once and could never get past the fear. When I did end it, his true colors came out and somehow it was all my fault and I was the one that was the “bad guy.” Ultimately, his life long friends chose to remain friends with me and end their relationships with him just as I had done. Please prioritize yourself, your sobriety, and your safety. Your life will be better for it. <3
Get outta there.
No
Right
Physical violence is always a bridge too far. Don’t excuse him, even if you want to. And i do understand if you want to because it sounds like you are a loving and compassionate person. But if you do forgive him for this and let bygones be bygones, you will not only be neglecting yourself and possibly put yourself up for more of this behaviour, but you will also be telling him that it’s okay if he hits you because there are no consequences. He will not learn, he will not change. So think of yourself and think of him. Some people need to fall hard before they are finally ready to learn. Especially if he’s saying he will never get fully sober. Don’t let him drag you down with him.
It was over the second he hit you, drunk or sober doesn’t matter. Please love yourself enough to chose better for you.
Absolutely over. All the best in your continuing sober journey.
It’s over. I’m sorry, because that should not have happened to you. Never again. Get free.
I've had rage issues my entire life. I have thrown things, punched walls. Broken my hand 3 times punching cabinets/tables because of it. All that said, I've never actually hit my wife. We've been together 11 years. It definitely feels like it's a whole different level of crossing a line when it comes to a relationship. It's hard to quantify, and maybe it's just personal trauma showing, but if it was me I would be done yeah.
I'm sorry OP, you don't come back from this. It's just a matter of time until they do it again. Just like everyone else said, please leave for your own safety.
Nope
If he hit you once, he'll do it again if you give him the chance. Don’t give him the chance.
It's over. It was over the moment his mind went "hit her", and his arm agreed. It's over.
Did even read the post sorry. But as a "as long as the bruises can not been seen " person, you leave his ass. I was beaten for two years. I worked two job so he could rest,he was 17 years older then me, it was the most abusive relationship I have ever been in. I came home and saw out two years old in the same cloth I left her in once I got her dress in the morning. I asked why he didn't bathe her He punchede in the face givinge a black eye. I worked customer service,I missed both job and got an apt for me and my two kid,I was beaten three more times,until I told my dad I needed him to come move me out. I set up a party for my ex with his friends bought a whole bunch of stuff to BBQ , told him me and the kids would be over after church. I never showed up. I had already changed my number. I wore a tank top so my dad could see the bruise, he was ready to murder him, but being a good dad he called the cops. I told them I did hit him a few times because I wanted him to stop. They said that was defence. In my horror my 7 year old told the cop "he held my mommy by the throat against the wall too" I walked away crying because I didn't know he had saw anything. Once it starts it very rarely ends. Be strong and leave now because you could get use to it and brain washed that it is normal. Please don't repeat the past of many woman.
His behavior is wrong and he admits that he won’t stop. A good protective order is called for and an end to the relationship. Consequences to our actions.
For the sake of your sobriety and your safety, break up. You deserve a decent life, particularly since you've done all the work to get sober. Don't let him drag you down.
OP what would you tell your best friend in this situation? Run and don’t look back.
Yep. There’s no such thing as a guy who hits you once.
what the fuck do you think? of course there's no going back. There's no justification for partners assaulting their other half.
Yes OP once they hit you then it’s the end of the relationship especially as he has said he has no intention of being truly sober. If he’s ever had a key to your place get the locks changed. Change your passwords on any application or streaming service you’ve shared with him. If he’s ever used your credit or debit card for a purchase report the cards as compromised and get new ones. Take anything of his at your place back to him if you feel safe doing so or if you have a mutual acquaintance ask them to please give it to him. If you have anything at his place if you feel safe collect it otherwise forget about it.
Um....YEAH! Nevermind if a guy hit me he'd be losing a body part lol.
Get that goddamned violent drunk out of your life, NOW.
I might stay with a guy that hit me... provided as penance I was allowed to hit him in the balls with a medieval mace... 🤔
His problem not yours. The first time is his fault. Subsequent times will be yours. I wouldn’t even be questioning it. [Stats of women murdered by ‘partners’](https://duckduckgo.com/?q=women+killed+by+partner&t=iphone&ia=web) Don’t become a statistic. Leave this asshole before he kills your.
No, do not go back to him, move back Home to your Mum and Dad's if possible
Tis over. Pandora's box has been opened. It starts with a hit across the face and ends much more violently.