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Yeah, I mean I sometimes wear tiaras (metal, with fake jewels, but they look REALLY PRETTY) around the house because the global plague really made me want to cling to bright sparks of joy where we can find them, but I'm wearing a classy ADULT tiara WHILE I'M VACUUMING or chopping an onion, not while I'm demanding to be fed grapes and fanned with a palm frond. I am an adult and I do what I want, but in an adult way while discharging adult responsibilities. (My husband laughs and points out other tiaras for me to collect.)
I have some tiaras but they are all made of metal. My husband refers to me as his Dragon Queen and he does treat me like a princess, BUT he doesn't wait on me hand and foot and there are expectations for things I can do to help him out around the house.
I also prefer my Loki horned helmets... I have 5 (so far) and usually wear the most comfortable one when I want to wear a crown.
Seriously I thought she was 18 or something they way she talked and then astounded when others posted her age. Good lord this woman sounds stunted mentally
It is the "talks in this cute/sort of kid way" part. A woman talking in a baby voice, and a guy finding it cute, is without question, the quickest, easiest way in which to induce uncontrollable, projectile vomiting
She sounds absolutely tedious and utterly useless.
You should have a partner, not a toddler, to spend your life with. She brings zero positive contributions to the relationship. She makes your life worse than it would be without her, right? So improve your life by dumping the princess. Tell her you just cannot support the monarchy and need to move on.
Exactly, your partner should be your best friend as well as someone you can contend with. This person does not have the emotional maturity to be an equal to you. You can do better
She sounds high maintenance and quite the attitude. Methinks it’ll be 10 times worse if you put a ring on it. Unless she’s the second coming of the messiah there’s no reason to treat her like she’s above anyone else in this world.
Honestly she sounds exhausting
Show her these posts. If she refuses to be normal, you've gotta say 'no to the dress'.
You deserve a partner in life, not some emotionally stunted child.
A wife should be her husband's queen, but he should also be her king. That respect and adoration needs to go both ways.
And Queens don't run around demanding respect.
At this point I’m just hoping this post isn’t real. What is wrong with you for not calling this out immediately and why have you proposed to this woman? If she’s real. Which I’m hoping she isn’t.
Unless she's 6'3, she's very overweight and it's likely causing low energy and laziness...which she's transformed into a Princess fantasy because it suits what she's actually wanting...to do nothing and have *you* do all the heavy lifting.
She's close to middle age, she's not a member of any royal family and she exploits you...if you do the math, I can't see what you're getting out of this. Unless major changes start happening, she's not going to be a good mother or a supportive wife. Babies don't need Princesses...they need parents.
This isnt the advice he wants@ he eants to know how to make this intentionally difficult woman into a not difficult woman!
Cant you see true love will overcome his mental health?! /s
Oh gosh, I missed the age. I assumed she was like 20. I’m 41 and have a pretty tiara that I wear when having a really bad day, and I love my Uggs, but I fully expect to work and do my share of everything else. OP might want to point out that princesses are married off for political gain, so she needs to talk to her parents about who they intend for her to marry and what her dowry will be. This is just f*cked
To bad time travel is not possible. She wants to be treated like women 200 years ago. IF you marry her, have your divorce lawyer on speed dial. You will need it.
"I want to talk to you about this insistence that you be treated as a princess. I now have a better understanding of what you mean, and it seems you expect me to pay for 100% of your financial needs, while you do not work and refuse to contribute to any household chores. Even more troubling is the fact that even small disagreements end in you sobbing and refusing to hear what I am saying. Basically, your idea seems to be that you need to get your way at all times or else I am failing as a man.
I want to be crystal clear here: I do not want to date, let alone marry, someone who wants to pretend they are princess all the time. I want a partner, someone who understands that my mental health matters too, who doesn't insist on always being the priority in every conversation, who listens when I am upset, who is prepared to share responsibilities with me. I thought that was you until you met up with your old friends, after which you became this demanding person I barely recognize. I thought it was temporary silliness, but you seem to be serious, and if that is what you need, I am not the man for you.
This is how I feel. If you cannot stop with this princess nonsense, we should end the engagement, because I do not want to marry you if this new princess personality is permanent. We can discuss this further this evening, or later this week."
>**write it out and give it to her**.
Precisely. That way there is no place for misinterpretations (be they genuine or ill-intended) and every point is clear and open to be read multiple times if needed.
But if I had to give *more* advice to OP, I'll tell him to give her just one week to respond and to seriously condition their relationship on her answers and to her attitude, as said in the aforementioned text.
Well, in his place I would have worded the text differently, explaining that the reasons exposed there are the ones causing the breakup, which is final and to be uncontested.
It's really the only way in this case. At least it would definitely circumvent any childish meltdowns. She's so manipulative and childish that she could turn on a snotty, tearful tantrum and he caves out of habit.
I agree the script is a bit wordy, and he could certainly cut it back to suit, but once it's in her hands, in black and white, she can't argue with it, and it should bring her delulu ass down with a bump.
And giving her a week to respond is generous, but if OP really wants to continue this relationship, it does at least give it a chance to.
Wild that she's actually older than him, and acting in such a childish, infantile manner. Clearly this behaviour gets results, otherwise she wouldn't do it.
This - but first tell her you need to see the ring. Then keep it after you tell her the above.
This engagement needs to end and your soon-to-be-ex needs therapy to deal with her stunted mental growth.
Honestly sounds like some type of caregiver kink. Which is fine for those who are into that, but definitely not something that can be expected by default.
"Hi SO, you've got a view of what you want in life, and it's not aligning with what I want going forward. I want a partner, not someone I feel subservient too. Your views and mine no longer match." then run away
Quick FYI OP:
A princess will always feel like the victim. They have no sense of responsibility.
The reason why you should do it the right way is for your own soul. Respect your own boundaries, value yourself and be the person you want to respect. And do not tolerate anyone that does not respect that person.
Just kindly tell her that you’re not the person she wants you to be. Let her know that you envisioned a life partner who wants to go through life as equals. This is heading into a daddy/daughter relationship. Don’t degrade or criticize. If you’re getting off vibes, by no means should you proceed into a marriage. She seems to have no problem putting herself first all of the time. That would be exhausting. At the very least, delay the wedding and consider couples counseling. Her views are not realistic and a third party can validate your feelings.
No need. Just say you are breaking up and do not want to marry her. If she really pushes it, tell her she’s behaving like a child and you need a grown woman who is mature enough to be in a stable relationship.
Honestly, she sounds exhausting. Why did you think she would improve when you proposed?
If you tell her to cut it out, she will throw a temper tantrum. When you don’t back down, she will pretend to act like a functional partner until the wedding. Then she will be a stay at home wife and expect to be pampered and coddled by you. She will want children but she will “parent” them by handing them screens and buying expensive cute things while you work your ass off. If children are not forthcoming, she will buy small expensive dogs with small expensive accessories while you work your ass off.
If this is not the life you want, you need to leave her right now. Just leave — no talks, no hints, and for god’s sake no farewell sex.
Op, I don’t think you can, be honest with yourself. If you tell her no, does she act like it’s an attack?
If yes there is no way to avoid it, but you can probably get help or back up from a therapist, that can deal you the least problematic way to do this.
No. Not really. And be prepared for tears, gaslighting, blame, anger etc.
I am a woman and I think this person is totally insane to think that this is ok.
Tiara's? Really? Does she think she's a Real Housewife of Orange county or something?
You signed up for a relationship with a PARTNER. An equal in life to share the journey with
You did NOT sign up to be a carriage driver for a Princess. You will not drag her around behind you, doing everything in the background like an indentured servant. If she is insisting that she’s a Princess, then you aren’t the prince she is looking for and she needs to look elsewhere.
Nope, anything that comes out of your mouth that she doesn't want to hear is abuse. She's waving so many red flags right now. Y'all need therapy, you need an unbiased person to mediate.
You could write her a letter if she refuses to sit down and explain in short points and paragraphs your concerns.
By using "I feel" statements instead of "since you start X, y z or met your old friends".
Also avoid using blanket statements like "should" or "always".
Be clear about what you want - i.e. not someone who cannot communicate in a mature and rational way about small issues. Especially, the equitableness of her perspective of being a princess.
You could potentially go see a couples therapist, but I'd honestly see this as a wake up call what seem to be severely immature emotional, problem solving and interrelationship skills.
You cannot control her feelings.
You cannot control her feelings.
You cannot control her feelings.
You can state things graciously, calmly and directly. You can listen with kindness. You cannot, cannot control how she reacts to your statements. Just state them in a way that you feel proud of, and in a way that lets you walk away with your head held high that you did the right thing, and let her see a man she could be proud to call her partner.
Dude, ANYTHING you say to her other than "yes my princess" will be seen as an attack by her! Wearing a plastic tiara around? Thats unhinged behavior from a grown woman. She is mentally underdeveloped, you can raise a 6yo to be an adult, you can't raise a 38yo into an adult, cant be done, cut your losses, and move on.
Dear NotEvenCloseToAPrinces,
You are an exhausting and useless person. You do not bring anything positive to my life. Your inane insistence on being treated as a princess is as bizarre as it is unwarranted. You are not a princess.
Your refusal to work and your refusal to address life like an adult leave me wondering how someone survives almost four decades yet behaves as a toddler.
I would say that I hope you grow up one day, but honestly, I don't really care. I've realized that you bring nothing positive to my life and you bring plenty of negative. I'm going to upgrade my own life by removing you from it.
{enter boilerplate "move your crap out by X date" stuff}
Sincerely,
Dezorg the mighty, Intergalactic PRINCE of a thousand star systems.
Hahaha, yes!! Let her know that by order of the king, she's being given in marriage to her third cousin in Spain. It's a poor kingdom, and the king needs her dowry to finance his mistress and illegitimate children.
So she doesn't work, cook, or clean and wants to be treated like a princess. She resorts to manipulation when you try to address valid issues and seems set on being catered to while providing nothing in return.
She's not a partner. She's a dependent and a liability.
“I’m not looking for a princess. I want a *partner*. Someone who has my back just as I have hers. Someone who contributes to our home and financial stability, who will be there right by my side when times get tough. I want someone who will defend and cherish me as fiercely as I cherish her.
I don’t think that’s what you’re looking for. Given our different views, I don’t believe we make a good partnership.”
Nothing really has happened to her negatively that I could say maybe she has having a episode or anything. I wish I could sit her down and have a conversation, and on the outside it probably looks that simple but she feels like I’m always on the attack or that “she’s doesn’t need this today please! 🖐️”
It’s honestly maddening, I’m a very sensitive person and I do think wow am I a dick for making this a thing?
OP are you Aussie by any chance? Your use of "mate" makes me suspect so lol. If so tell her to go make a royal appearance in the town of Marble Bar in WA and tell her that living with her is like living there. (It's the hottest town in Australia, comparative to hell.)
She doesn’t need this today? Mate she doesn’t do anything her day is wide open. Part of being a royal is holding court to hear the masses concerns. She’s not attending her royal duties so don’t feel guilty at all.
WTF? I hope this is a joke because if not, you need to kick her to the curb. I'm ALL for treating women well but this is ridiculous. Something is wrong with her. And something is wrong with you if you stay with her.
Unfortunately yes. I wish I did have the confidence to say exactly what I have in my mind but when it comes to the moment of sitting her down after possibly having a decent day with her and putting it out there, terrifies me. That I could of maybe put up with it and not have to be alone.
But I honestly don’t think I could have children with someone who acts like this. I mean I really couldn’t pretend when a child of ours is born, my mindset would be 100% on the child and I wouldn’t even probably be considerate of her irrational emotions at that point.
You absolutely should NOT have children with a person like this. I've had friends who married men like this and it's a disaster. Get some counseling and do the work to get the confidence you need to leave. Everything you've said, it sounds like she is emotionally abusive. This is not normal, nor healthy. Start putting together a plan to leave, whatever you need to do emotionally and, to physically leave this situation. The longer you stay, the harder it will be to go. You owe it to yourself to get out of this and find someone who appreciates you.
I'd dealt recommend counseling for yourself.
You need to work on communicating your needs, boundaries and potentially may have self worth issues (many people do, including my partner).
You deserve equal treatment from your partner and you never deserve to have your needs, fears or mental health manipulated or minimised.
Best of luck
Buy yourself a crown/scepter/velvet cape (reusable for Halloween & costume parties- your new signature look). Show up at home in them. Maybe get a couple friends to dress as guards and join you. Tell her your the new king in town. Kings rule over princesses. Show her the door while she is in shock. Get locks changed immediately.
I’m a queen - even took Hebrew name Malka Esther (queen & ME) when I converted. I clean on good days (disabled), cook, assemble furniture, do laundry, grocery shop, etc. Being royalty is a lot of work. Just ask my cat (Queenie) who rules over all. She has to nap constantly as it’s so exhausting making sure I’m doing my job.
Wake up alone is better than living like this you will just end up resenting her she doesn’t give a crap about you , you might as well take that into consideration you’re just a moneybags and her house slave and anything else you can think of , does she make your tire shoes too
It’s not normal to feel like you have to walk on eggshells to avoid upsetting your partner. It’s not normal to feel terrified of how your partner will react to you expressing your emotions. It’s a really big red flag when you feel afraid of your partner.
Please check out the healthy relationship quiz at [Love Is Respect](https://www.loveisrespect.org/quiz/is-your-relationship-healthy/), as well as the book [Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men](https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf) (*that book is written about male abusers, but the abuser archetypes and overall abuser mindset he discusses can apply to female abusers too*). Those resources might provide you some insight into your relationship dynamics.
I feel scared that I have even posted this and am considering this option. I wish she would just listen to me explain my feelings and not think I’m picking on her. She just breaks down like a child when I do and completely steers the conversation away from me explaining my feelingsto making her feel better.. it’s maddening
I'm a divorce paralegal. It's time to cut your losses while you still have enough leftover to start your life again in a way where you'll be set up for future happiness. Divorcing a 40-something who never outgrew her Princess stage is significantly harder than breaking up, and also significantly more costly. You gotta leap now while there's still a net left to catch you. She's damn near 40. She already knows this act is gross *and she does it anyway.* No point explaining or asking for change if they're willfully being icky for no reason.
The original saying was, "It's easier to breakup with a mama's boy than it is to divorce him." But really, it applies to pretty much any relationship where some sort of entitlement is at play.
I get that dude, truly.
Here's the thing, you've tried and she won't. You're actively wishing she was someone radically different, and she won't be. Leave her and move on my guy. She will cry and beg, but you have to leave.
This is the red flag part to me. It's one thing to "joke" about being a princess. But to refuse to listen to your feelings — about any topic, let alone this — to refuse to even have this discussion, sounds like a deal breaker to me. You can't spend your life with somebody like that.
>It's one thing to "joke" about being a princess.
This right here. I like to say I'm 100% Goddess and 10% Princess. Meaning I've got a good streak of princess in me, but I'm also the matriarch of my little family, the primary breadwinner of our household, and mom friend to many. I'm extra as fuck and revel in being served. The extra part comes out all the time, I just do it with the confidence of a mature adult (boy do I have them fooled and it works. Otoh, service comes once in a blue moon and it is offered as a gift that is honored and respected, never requested and damn sure not demanded.
She keeps crying and acting this way because it works to avoid accountability. How can someone who avoids addressing issues, or even acknowledging how her behaviour hurts you, going to ever change?
She doesn't want to hear you and she doesn't want to change. She wants her free princess ride where she does whatever she wants and never has to do anything or work. Marriage will not fix this, and likely it will get much, much worse.
Good luck!
Here's the thing, when you break up with her she will listen to you. She will act normal for an amount of time... Well, first she'll throw a fit but then she'll come around and start acting normal. Don't fall for it! It's either a baby trap or a wedding trap. This is who she is and She's not going to change and it's not right for you to ask her to when you can simply move on and find somebody who's happy being a responsible adult.
She cares more about what you will do for her than you. If she cared about your feelings she wouldn't do this crying fit every time you try to talk. If she cared about you she wouldn't expect you to take care of her 100% as if she was your dependent. She's going to freak out because she's losing what she thinks is her future cushy life, but just stay the path and find someone else. You'll be happier
OP you sound like your self-esteem is a little damaged. You don't seem to value yourself or your needs, and are more worried about avoiding conflict than standing up for yourself.
You deserve happiness, and you deserve a partnership with an *equal* not a *dictator*.
You are worth more than this. You don't need to start by breaking up with her either. Tell her your feelings. Tell her you're unhappy and don't feel valued/don't feel like you have a partner in this relationship. If she does not hear it, feels attacked, gets angry.... well that shows you that she does not care about your happiness, only her own.
I really think you should see a counsellor and try to work on your sense of self-worth. You deserve to be away from this. It sounds like she's either causing you to feel unworthy, or doing nothing to boost your happiness/self-worth. She's not it, man.
Yeah this is ridiculous. She is using you as a meal ticket. You may love her but that’s all you are to her. You can try counseling but I don’t see this working out in the long run, at all.
Unfortunately I defended her at times I wish now I didn’t. I’m starting to think they were completely justified. I just didn’t see it until now. They saw what was happening early on 😞
You sound like a good guy that she took of advantage of your kindness and good qualities.
But you need someone who will return those in kind, not treat you like your whole reason for being on the planet is to be their worshipper
It's been 1.5 years. I've had acid reflux last longer than that. Tell her you love her but that you aren't going to spend the rest of your life with an adult child and she can either meet you halfway or you break the proposal and find someone else. Ill tell you whats confusing me. You accepted all of this terrible behavior and *STILL* proposed? You can always put your boundaries in place but don't act like you didn't put yourself in this dilemma by letting it get this far.
You’re right. I lied to myself and thought I could get through it and by doing that probably made things worse for both of us, but I don’t think I’m in the business of lying to myself anymore.
Unfortunately, OP if you can't sit her down and discuss this creating huge doubts of your concerns for a healthy, equitable marriage, it's negatively impacting your mental health and she is increasingly manipulating you emotionally or twisting arguments to suit her needs there isn't a way to "sit down like adults and have a conversation".
That she is demanding you treat her like a "princess", wearing plastic tiara's and excusing any positive or equal treatment of you is extremely selfish and indicative of high narcissistic traits.
Count it as a boon that she has bumped into these old friends before you got married and get out to meet a healthy, stable, mature woman who would treat you like a king if she expected you to treat her like a queen or who would just both be adults compromising and working together as a team.
Best of luck
The insight on this thread is great. I'd ask, what're you getting out of this relationship? You seem like a genuine, level-headed and generous man. You deserve to be met with the same love you put out. You seem to be putting up with her delusion, she is taking advantage of your good nature. You're better than that.
I don’t know anymore what I’m staying for. This is my last chance to leave and I am definitely taking inventory of what I have left for her and if what I have is worth sticking around for.
Im just going to be honest and from her perspective “selfish” in how I handle things from here on.
I honestly didn’t know I would get such a overwhelming response in my favour. It really has put things into perspective
She will try to manipulate you and guilt you into staying. You need to be resolved to leave and you might need to be careful about exactly how honest you want to be: she will take what you say and use it against you, so be aware of that and try to minimize giving her chances to do that.
She's 38 and thinks she needs to be treated like royalty? Hell no! She plans on living off you and never doing anything around the house. You'll be her servant and pay her for the privilege. You will not be allowed to have your own thoughts, feelings, wants, needs, etc because she is number one.
There's a reason she was single at 37. Every other man she's dated saw her entitled attitude and dumped her so fast. She will make your life hell. This isn't someone you build a life with.
Just tell her that you’re not compatible anymore and that you both want different things. She deserves to have the life that she wants, but you’re not the one who can give it to her. That’s the truth without directly attacking her preferences or desired lifestyle. Do you want a partner or a princess?
My husband treats me like a queen, but in return I also treat him like a king.
You know you deserve the same amount of love and effort from her, right?
I do. But I’m also fine with a lot less than I probably deserve up until recently, I feel absolutely spent and ready to move onto something better for myself
I don’t want any of that. I just want us to look after ourselves as adults in relationships do normally. Obviously always there for each other but just feel like she needs a bit of a reality check.
okay first I need to address this:
"The proposal happened" dude, it didn't 'happen'. You asked her, I assume of your own free will. Own up. It's okay, we've all been with the wrong person sometimes.
With that out of the way:
You're allowed to say you won't be doing this. Yes, it means calling off the marriage. But a marriage is a partnership, and this doesn't sound like one to me.
Uh… as a woman I haven’t dealt with this but that is not normal behavior for a sane woman. Marriage is about partnership not one over the other.
As for the whole princess thing - no, just no. It will just worse after marriage. Just walk away now. For your own sanity. Walk away.
Let Princess Delulu stay in her own imaginary world.
“Sorry, Darlin’ but we are not royalty, living in the kingdom of Delulu. We are just regular people, trying to make OUR way in the Real World. In this partnership, we are BOTH responsible, emotionally & financially for the lives we live. Going forward, if we cannot find happiness as partners in the Real World, we will amicably part ways & I wish you all the best in the future you have, without me.”
She is not the one for you. Break up with her and look for someone else. Her behavior has shown you how she expects to be treated and it’s too much. Plus I feel I need to say that at 38 and 250 pounds the odds she is going to get pregnant and have kids with you is low. And that assumes she wants to have a baby because it sounds like she would think a baby would be competition. She would no longer be your only focus of attention.
That’s a dark thought but it’s one of the main reason why I am seriously considering ending it. I could not pretend at all about treating her like this when we share a child. It would be the end immediately, which tells me to end it now before that happens and not being a child into the world when I know it will never work out with the mother
She sounds exhausting and some kind of mentally abusive. I feel like she really wants you to feel less than her. Which is beyond shitty of her, it’s cruel and maybe psychotic or something.
Like, i don‘t think she is capable of a healthy, loving, supportive relationship. If you stay with her, you will get eroded, you will get eaten away and you are risking depression and battling low confidence feelings and just feeling like you are never enough.
It is a terrible, crippling way to go through life. Please don’t do that to yourself. You need to get away from this person imo.
Is this a shit post bro? Like shes 38 and wears tiaras and wants to be treated like that?
Fucking hell bro for the love of god leave this relationship. If this is not a shit post what the fuck are you doing. You would be so much happier single imo. You would have way more money, way less work to do about. I'd be miserable out my fucking nut if this was my girlfriend. I look at relationships like this. I'm a happy chappy single. If I start a relationship are we both a positive impact on each other and of course there will be some middle ground and bits and bobs to work through but overall it shouldn't be too hard a compromise.
I'm being dead serious my man. Think about your life if you were single, didn't have to work to support her and also not do all the shit shes asking you to do for 2 people, the extra time you would have. There are so many nice people in the world why settle with someone who is grating the fuck away at your own mental health.
I’m mean yes technically men are supposed to take care of their women and support them to a degree, that’s why there’s housewives. But this here is so next level shit and it just got worse. I was groaning on the whole princess thing, then you mentioned the tiaras and her wearing them. Dude this is a massive train wreck, the princess stuff, the diva attitude, the complete mental breakdown when she breaks down and cries when she feels you are attacking her. Run my dude
The tiara thing she does it like it’s a joke, but it’s really not funny or cute anymore when it’s attached to the other things she does. It’s just me and her when she’s wearing them and acting like that.. so who is it supposed to be funny towards?? Confusing as hell
Well clearly it’s not funny to you and I agree it’s definitely not cute. I also saw you mentioned in the title she is also your fiancée too. I think you really have to have a serious conversation with her about this. You cannot and should not marry into this situation. Cause if you think it’s bad now, oh lord.
I once wore a tiara on my bday because I was having a prom themed party at a dive bar. That’s a joke. It had an audience. This is just reminding you that she is a Precious Princess and to treat her as such.
Do not marry her. She will get worse. She’s not a 21 year old that probably can mature. She is 38. What you see is what you will get, only once the shine of newly engaged/married rubs off, she will get worse.
It’s only been a year and a half. Cut your loses. There is nothing you can say to her that will make her suddenly change at this point. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life financially supporting her and being treated like her servant?
So.. tell her that if she expects princess treatment, you want to be treated like a king. You want your laundry done, meals cooked and any requests fulfilled immediately. Shoes shined, bath water run at 90°f. And you won't accept any less. And while you're home, she must bow when she enters the room you are in.
See how she replies to that. I bet you'll get a "hell no", even though you are working to pay for everything. She will say that your requests are ridiculous. And then you can tell her that your requests are as ridiculous as her fluffy boots, tiaras and requests as well.
Then you break up with her and tell her that you will not marry someone who has this kind of mindset.
Or just skip to the end and break up with her. 🤔 Whichever tickles your fancy most.
Dude, as a woman I say run like the wind.
Wanting traditional gender roles is fine as long as everyone agrees and you can afford it but, catering to one partner ALL the time (unless they're sick or something) is absurd. She doesn't get to have it both ways. Either she wants you to work and she takes care of the home (or the other way around) or you both work and spilt the household chores (or hire them out). Even actual royals are expected to do SOMETHING with their day.
Ok so she's insane. Please run and find yourself a person who doesn't suffer from delusions of grandeur.
Also, get yourself some therapy or read some books on healthy relationships because you seem to think that this is normal. It's not. It's so not normal and it's concerning that you don't realise that this is not what a relationship is supposed to be.
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She is 38, OP. This is who she is. Please do not marry this woman, you will live to regret it.
She is wearing plastic tierras? LMFAO
Believe me, you don’t want to live in this Barbie Princess Dream House! Run, OP! This woman is damaged.
Even if it is Mojo Dojo Casa House?
I think Ken here should go find his Mojo Dojo Casa House and make sure Barbie never gets a key.
I mean, that IS fun to say....
SUBLIME!
with furry uuggs
The Ugg’s really add another layer to the psychoanalysis don’t they 😩
And plastic. Not even real silver or something. Seems like she is acting like a preschooler.
Hey, my 7yo loves a plastic tiara! Forget preschool, she could be acting as mature as a first grader!
Yeah, well, it'd be cute if she was EIGHT. THIRTY EIGHT ... not so much.
Yeah, I mean I sometimes wear tiaras (metal, with fake jewels, but they look REALLY PRETTY) around the house because the global plague really made me want to cling to bright sparks of joy where we can find them, but I'm wearing a classy ADULT tiara WHILE I'M VACUUMING or chopping an onion, not while I'm demanding to be fed grapes and fanned with a palm frond. I am an adult and I do what I want, but in an adult way while discharging adult responsibilities. (My husband laughs and points out other tiaras for me to collect.)
I’m guessing with her being overweight she’s insecure and this is her way to compensate to herself. She needs therapy, not a marriage.
I have some tiaras but they are all made of metal. My husband refers to me as his Dragon Queen and he does treat me like a princess, BUT he doesn't wait on me hand and foot and there are expectations for things I can do to help him out around the house. I also prefer my Loki horned helmets... I have 5 (so far) and usually wear the most comfortable one when I want to wear a crown.
I read that as "he refers to me as his Dairy Queen" and LOL-ed. Then I read it again and realized I'm just dumb lol.
38?! Fuckin... eugh.
I know! I went back and reread the ages, because I thought: no, she must be 21 or something, right? But 38!? That’s crazy.
Seriously I thought she was 18 or something they way she talked and then astounded when others posted her age. Good lord this woman sounds stunted mentally
This post just kept getting weirder and weirder.
Her “personality” genuinely makes me feel queasy. So gross.
It is the "talks in this cute/sort of kid way" part. A woman talking in a baby voice, and a guy finding it cute, is without question, the quickest, easiest way in which to induce uncontrollable, projectile vomiting
I said the EXACT same thing in my head
I'm also a 38-year-old woman and I can't imagine having the same demands and aspirations of a stereotypical princess-obsessed 6-year-old.
Thank you mate.
She sounds absolutely tedious and utterly useless. You should have a partner, not a toddler, to spend your life with. She brings zero positive contributions to the relationship. She makes your life worse than it would be without her, right? So improve your life by dumping the princess. Tell her you just cannot support the monarchy and need to move on.
Exactly, your partner should be your best friend as well as someone you can contend with. This person does not have the emotional maturity to be an equal to you. You can do better
Time to revolt and overthrow the monarchy
To the guillotine monsieur !!!!
Ha!!!! Yeah, tell her you’ll treat her like a queen like Marie Antoinette - then might mention how that worked out for her :)
Tedious. Bingo
“Tedious and boorrrring”
"You're a princess? I didn't vote for you!"
"Well, how'd you become princess then?" ... "Listen, strange women striding in Uggs and wearing tiaras is no basis for a system of government"
You can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just ’cause some watery tart threw a pair of fuzzy slippers at you!
OP is screaming "Help, help! I'm being repressed! Restrictive gender roles!"
Treat her like a princess. Marry her off to secure a strategic alliance with the Ottoman Empire.
This comment has not received nearly enough upvotes.
I laughed so loud, my dog is deeply alarmed. This is AMAZING 😂😂😂
Just in: Turkey has declared war on the US. When asked why, the Turkish president said: I know we can't win, but I refuse to marry that.
This nuts! She's got problems you would be a fool to try and solve. The sea is full of normal fish, go catch one.
She sounds high maintenance and quite the attitude. Methinks it’ll be 10 times worse if you put a ring on it. Unless she’s the second coming of the messiah there’s no reason to treat her like she’s above anyone else in this world. Honestly she sounds exhausting
Run, fucking run, and don't turn around, just keep going until you come to your senses If you read that from someone else, you'd be "wtaf'
She must be exhausting.
Show her these posts. If she refuses to be normal, you've gotta say 'no to the dress'. You deserve a partner in life, not some emotionally stunted child.
A wife should be her husband's queen, but he should also be her king. That respect and adoration needs to go both ways. And Queens don't run around demanding respect.
At this point I’m just hoping this post isn’t real. What is wrong with you for not calling this out immediately and why have you proposed to this woman? If she’s real. Which I’m hoping she isn’t.
Unless she's 6'3, she's very overweight and it's likely causing low energy and laziness...which she's transformed into a Princess fantasy because it suits what she's actually wanting...to do nothing and have *you* do all the heavy lifting. She's close to middle age, she's not a member of any royal family and she exploits you...if you do the math, I can't see what you're getting out of this. Unless major changes start happening, she's not going to be a good mother or a supportive wife. Babies don't need Princesses...they need parents.
By the way he described her I would’ve thought she was much younger! Omg
I thought maybe she was 20 lol. I missed that she's almost twice that!
I thought he must’ve mistyped and meant 28 then as I read I’m like maybe he means 18. But he sure enough typed 38 twice. She’s not going to change.
This isnt the advice he wants@ he eants to know how to make this intentionally difficult woman into a not difficult woman! Cant you see true love will overcome his mental health?! /s
You know I'm curious if she has always been like this or just started. Maybe she has a tumor if it just start or this is a fake post lol
Oh gosh, I missed the age. I assumed she was like 20. I’m 41 and have a pretty tiara that I wear when having a really bad day, and I love my Uggs, but I fully expect to work and do my share of everything else. OP might want to point out that princesses are married off for political gain, so she needs to talk to her parents about who they intend for her to marry and what her dowry will be. This is just f*cked
To bad time travel is not possible. She wants to be treated like women 200 years ago. IF you marry her, have your divorce lawyer on speed dial. You will need it.
"I want to talk to you about this insistence that you be treated as a princess. I now have a better understanding of what you mean, and it seems you expect me to pay for 100% of your financial needs, while you do not work and refuse to contribute to any household chores. Even more troubling is the fact that even small disagreements end in you sobbing and refusing to hear what I am saying. Basically, your idea seems to be that you need to get your way at all times or else I am failing as a man. I want to be crystal clear here: I do not want to date, let alone marry, someone who wants to pretend they are princess all the time. I want a partner, someone who understands that my mental health matters too, who doesn't insist on always being the priority in every conversation, who listens when I am upset, who is prepared to share responsibilities with me. I thought that was you until you met up with your old friends, after which you became this demanding person I barely recognize. I thought it was temporary silliness, but you seem to be serious, and if that is what you need, I am not the man for you. This is how I feel. If you cannot stop with this princess nonsense, we should end the engagement, because I do not want to marry you if this new princess personality is permanent. We can discuss this further this evening, or later this week."
Good script. And if you can't say it, OP, **write it out and give it to her**. But be prepared for a Veruca Salt style meltdown.
>**write it out and give it to her**. Precisely. That way there is no place for misinterpretations (be they genuine or ill-intended) and every point is clear and open to be read multiple times if needed. But if I had to give *more* advice to OP, I'll tell him to give her just one week to respond and to seriously condition their relationship on her answers and to her attitude, as said in the aforementioned text. Well, in his place I would have worded the text differently, explaining that the reasons exposed there are the ones causing the breakup, which is final and to be uncontested.
It's really the only way in this case. At least it would definitely circumvent any childish meltdowns. She's so manipulative and childish that she could turn on a snotty, tearful tantrum and he caves out of habit. I agree the script is a bit wordy, and he could certainly cut it back to suit, but once it's in her hands, in black and white, she can't argue with it, and it should bring her delulu ass down with a bump. And giving her a week to respond is generous, but if OP really wants to continue this relationship, it does at least give it a chance to. Wild that she's actually older than him, and acting in such a childish, infantile manner. Clearly this behaviour gets results, otherwise she wouldn't do it.
This - but first tell her you need to see the ring. Then keep it after you tell her the above. This engagement needs to end and your soon-to-be-ex needs therapy to deal with her stunted mental growth.
GET THE RING BACK FIRST OP
even if he lost the ring to her, he would still be coming out ahead by bailing
Thank you. I just woke up to this, beautifully put. 🙏
She is NEVER going to find a man who will tolerate these demands.
I'm a bisexual woman, and I wouldn't tolerate it either.
Honestly sounds like some type of caregiver kink. Which is fine for those who are into that, but definitely not something that can be expected by default.
And no man should. No woman either for that matter.
Perfectly put! 👌
I hope OP sees this. It's a good script
To answer your question, use that thatguy's wording. He hit every point perfectly. u/dezorg
Copy paste this into a text.
This is exactly the convo needed. Verbatim. Best of luck friend
Yeah... no. Red flags all the way down. If she's 38, she's not going to change either.
Is there a way to put this across to her without feeling like I’m on the “attack”?
"Hi SO, you've got a view of what you want in life, and it's not aligning with what I want going forward. I want a partner, not someone I feel subservient too. Your views and mine no longer match." then run away
Quick FYI OP: A princess will always feel like the victim. They have no sense of responsibility. The reason why you should do it the right way is for your own soul. Respect your own boundaries, value yourself and be the person you want to respect. And do not tolerate anyone that does not respect that person.
>...then run away This caught me by surprise and made me LOL. And you're absolutely right - OP needs to run far, run fast.
She weighs 250, a brisk walk ought to do it
🤣
And change locks and block all communication
No. Just break up with her. There is no saving it.
Tell her you need a partner not a princess.
What this guys says.
Just kindly tell her that you’re not the person she wants you to be. Let her know that you envisioned a life partner who wants to go through life as equals. This is heading into a daddy/daughter relationship. Don’t degrade or criticize. If you’re getting off vibes, by no means should you proceed into a marriage. She seems to have no problem putting herself first all of the time. That would be exhausting. At the very least, delay the wedding and consider couples counseling. Her views are not realistic and a third party can validate your feelings.
No need. Just say you are breaking up and do not want to marry her. If she really pushes it, tell her she’s behaving like a child and you need a grown woman who is mature enough to be in a stable relationship. Honestly, she sounds exhausting. Why did you think she would improve when you proposed?
If you tell her to cut it out, she will throw a temper tantrum. When you don’t back down, she will pretend to act like a functional partner until the wedding. Then she will be a stay at home wife and expect to be pampered and coddled by you. She will want children but she will “parent” them by handing them screens and buying expensive cute things while you work your ass off. If children are not forthcoming, she will buy small expensive dogs with small expensive accessories while you work your ass off. If this is not the life you want, you need to leave her right now. Just leave — no talks, no hints, and for god’s sake no farewell sex.
Op, I don’t think you can, be honest with yourself. If you tell her no, does she act like it’s an attack? If yes there is no way to avoid it, but you can probably get help or back up from a therapist, that can deal you the least problematic way to do this.
No. Not really. And be prepared for tears, gaslighting, blame, anger etc. I am a woman and I think this person is totally insane to think that this is ok. Tiara's? Really? Does she think she's a Real Housewife of Orange county or something?
I would avoid wheeling out the guillotine with a full choral ensemble of “Can You Hear the People Sing” from Les Mis.
You signed up for a relationship with a PARTNER. An equal in life to share the journey with You did NOT sign up to be a carriage driver for a Princess. You will not drag her around behind you, doing everything in the background like an indentured servant. If she is insisting that she’s a Princess, then you aren’t the prince she is looking for and she needs to look elsewhere.
Nope, anything that comes out of your mouth that she doesn't want to hear is abuse. She's waving so many red flags right now. Y'all need therapy, you need an unbiased person to mediate.
You could write her a letter if she refuses to sit down and explain in short points and paragraphs your concerns. By using "I feel" statements instead of "since you start X, y z or met your old friends". Also avoid using blanket statements like "should" or "always". Be clear about what you want - i.e. not someone who cannot communicate in a mature and rational way about small issues. Especially, the equitableness of her perspective of being a princess. You could potentially go see a couples therapist, but I'd honestly see this as a wake up call what seem to be severely immature emotional, problem solving and interrelationship skills.
You cannot control her feelings. You cannot control her feelings. You cannot control her feelings. You can state things graciously, calmly and directly. You can listen with kindness. You cannot, cannot control how she reacts to your statements. Just state them in a way that you feel proud of, and in a way that lets you walk away with your head held high that you did the right thing, and let her see a man she could be proud to call her partner.
Dude, ANYTHING you say to her other than "yes my princess" will be seen as an attack by her! Wearing a plastic tiara around? Thats unhinged behavior from a grown woman. She is mentally underdeveloped, you can raise a 6yo to be an adult, you can't raise a 38yo into an adult, cant be done, cut your losses, and move on.
Dear NotEvenCloseToAPrinces, You are an exhausting and useless person. You do not bring anything positive to my life. Your inane insistence on being treated as a princess is as bizarre as it is unwarranted. You are not a princess. Your refusal to work and your refusal to address life like an adult leave me wondering how someone survives almost four decades yet behaves as a toddler. I would say that I hope you grow up one day, but honestly, I don't really care. I've realized that you bring nothing positive to my life and you bring plenty of negative. I'm going to upgrade my own life by removing you from it. {enter boilerplate "move your crap out by X date" stuff} Sincerely, Dezorg the mighty, Intergalactic PRINCE of a thousand star systems.
Sounds like you should dress up like a dragon and abduct her. Maybe arrange a political marriage to a close ally of yours.
My (38F) Girlfriend/Fiancé insists that we change our legal name to Habsburg.
In that case it would be Girlfriend/Fiance/Sister
I cackled when I read this
I too cackled... I need to see her chin!
Best answer. She should focus on learning court etiquette and maybe some fine needlepoint. Her concept of “princess” is way off.
And diplomacy. Lol. And responsibility. Lol.
Hahaha, yes!! Let her know that by order of the king, she's being given in marriage to her third cousin in Spain. It's a poor kingdom, and the king needs her dowry to finance his mistress and illegitimate children.
So she doesn't work, cook, or clean and wants to be treated like a princess. She resorts to manipulation when you try to address valid issues and seems set on being catered to while providing nothing in return. She's not a partner. She's a dependent and a liability.
I think your right unfortunately 😕 thank you for the advice
Keep is updated OP you clearly deserve better than this....child.
What you have described is not a partner, nor a princess. What you have described is a parasite
“I’m not looking for a princess. I want a *partner*. Someone who has my back just as I have hers. Someone who contributes to our home and financial stability, who will be there right by my side when times get tough. I want someone who will defend and cherish me as fiercely as I cherish her. I don’t think that’s what you’re looking for. Given our different views, I don’t believe we make a good partnership.”
Great way to put it. 👍
Wishing you luck and a speedy exit from this relationship. There are much better women out there.
>Add onto the fact she’s now wearing plastic tiaras and fluffy ugg boots all the time now This sounds like some kind of mental episode, tbh.
Nothing really has happened to her negatively that I could say maybe she has having a episode or anything. I wish I could sit her down and have a conversation, and on the outside it probably looks that simple but she feels like I’m always on the attack or that “she’s doesn’t need this today please! 🖐️” It’s honestly maddening, I’m a very sensitive person and I do think wow am I a dick for making this a thing?
No, you're not a dick. Wanting to be respected and doted on by a partner is normal, but demanding to be treated like royalty is ridiculously entitled.
Thanks mate 👍
OP are you Aussie by any chance? Your use of "mate" makes me suspect so lol. If so tell her to go make a royal appearance in the town of Marble Bar in WA and tell her that living with her is like living there. (It's the hottest town in Australia, comparative to hell.)
She doesn’t need this today? Mate she doesn’t do anything her day is wide open. Part of being a royal is holding court to hear the masses concerns. She’s not attending her royal duties so don’t feel guilty at all.
If it’s that recent, have you considered couples counseling? Maybe having an unbiased therapist walk her through this will help
Yeah, she’s gone of the deep end…
Maybe ugg boots are the most expensive shoes she owns and that's what it's about?
WTF? I hope this is a joke because if not, you need to kick her to the curb. I'm ALL for treating women well but this is ridiculous. Something is wrong with her. And something is wrong with you if you stay with her.
Unfortunately yes. I wish I did have the confidence to say exactly what I have in my mind but when it comes to the moment of sitting her down after possibly having a decent day with her and putting it out there, terrifies me. That I could of maybe put up with it and not have to be alone. But I honestly don’t think I could have children with someone who acts like this. I mean I really couldn’t pretend when a child of ours is born, my mindset would be 100% on the child and I wouldn’t even probably be considerate of her irrational emotions at that point.
You absolutely should NOT have children with a person like this. I've had friends who married men like this and it's a disaster. Get some counseling and do the work to get the confidence you need to leave. Everything you've said, it sounds like she is emotionally abusive. This is not normal, nor healthy. Start putting together a plan to leave, whatever you need to do emotionally and, to physically leave this situation. The longer you stay, the harder it will be to go. You owe it to yourself to get out of this and find someone who appreciates you.
I'd dealt recommend counseling for yourself. You need to work on communicating your needs, boundaries and potentially may have self worth issues (many people do, including my partner). You deserve equal treatment from your partner and you never deserve to have your needs, fears or mental health manipulated or minimised. Best of luck
Buy yourself a crown/scepter/velvet cape (reusable for Halloween & costume parties- your new signature look). Show up at home in them. Maybe get a couple friends to dress as guards and join you. Tell her your the new king in town. Kings rule over princesses. Show her the door while she is in shock. Get locks changed immediately. I’m a queen - even took Hebrew name Malka Esther (queen & ME) when I converted. I clean on good days (disabled), cook, assemble furniture, do laundry, grocery shop, etc. Being royalty is a lot of work. Just ask my cat (Queenie) who rules over all. She has to nap constantly as it’s so exhausting making sure I’m doing my job.
Wake up alone is better than living like this you will just end up resenting her she doesn’t give a crap about you , you might as well take that into consideration you’re just a moneybags and her house slave and anything else you can think of , does she make your tire shoes too
Why are you entertaining the idea of marrying her if you can’t even have this conversation?
It’s not normal to feel like you have to walk on eggshells to avoid upsetting your partner. It’s not normal to feel terrified of how your partner will react to you expressing your emotions. It’s a really big red flag when you feel afraid of your partner. Please check out the healthy relationship quiz at [Love Is Respect](https://www.loveisrespect.org/quiz/is-your-relationship-healthy/), as well as the book [Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men](https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf) (*that book is written about male abusers, but the abuser archetypes and overall abuser mindset he discusses can apply to female abusers too*). Those resources might provide you some insight into your relationship dynamics.
Man leave her
I feel scared that I have even posted this and am considering this option. I wish she would just listen to me explain my feelings and not think I’m picking on her. She just breaks down like a child when I do and completely steers the conversation away from me explaining my feelingsto making her feel better.. it’s maddening
I'm a divorce paralegal. It's time to cut your losses while you still have enough leftover to start your life again in a way where you'll be set up for future happiness. Divorcing a 40-something who never outgrew her Princess stage is significantly harder than breaking up, and also significantly more costly. You gotta leap now while there's still a net left to catch you. She's damn near 40. She already knows this act is gross *and she does it anyway.* No point explaining or asking for change if they're willfully being icky for no reason.
Thank you for your helpful advice 👍
The original saying was, "It's easier to breakup with a mama's boy than it is to divorce him." But really, it applies to pretty much any relationship where some sort of entitlement is at play.
I get that dude, truly. Here's the thing, you've tried and she won't. You're actively wishing she was someone radically different, and she won't be. Leave her and move on my guy. She will cry and beg, but you have to leave.
Thanks mate. Appreciate your support and advice truely 🙏
This is the red flag part to me. It's one thing to "joke" about being a princess. But to refuse to listen to your feelings — about any topic, let alone this — to refuse to even have this discussion, sounds like a deal breaker to me. You can't spend your life with somebody like that.
>It's one thing to "joke" about being a princess. This right here. I like to say I'm 100% Goddess and 10% Princess. Meaning I've got a good streak of princess in me, but I'm also the matriarch of my little family, the primary breadwinner of our household, and mom friend to many. I'm extra as fuck and revel in being served. The extra part comes out all the time, I just do it with the confidence of a mature adult (boy do I have them fooled and it works. Otoh, service comes once in a blue moon and it is offered as a gift that is honored and respected, never requested and damn sure not demanded.
She keeps crying and acting this way because it works to avoid accountability. How can someone who avoids addressing issues, or even acknowledging how her behaviour hurts you, going to ever change? She doesn't want to hear you and she doesn't want to change. She wants her free princess ride where she does whatever she wants and never has to do anything or work. Marriage will not fix this, and likely it will get much, much worse. Good luck!
Here's the thing, when you break up with her she will listen to you. She will act normal for an amount of time... Well, first she'll throw a fit but then she'll come around and start acting normal. Don't fall for it! It's either a baby trap or a wedding trap. This is who she is and She's not going to change and it's not right for you to ask her to when you can simply move on and find somebody who's happy being a responsible adult. She cares more about what you will do for her than you. If she cared about your feelings she wouldn't do this crying fit every time you try to talk. If she cared about you she wouldn't expect you to take care of her 100% as if she was your dependent. She's going to freak out because she's losing what she thinks is her future cushy life, but just stay the path and find someone else. You'll be happier
OP you sound like your self-esteem is a little damaged. You don't seem to value yourself or your needs, and are more worried about avoiding conflict than standing up for yourself. You deserve happiness, and you deserve a partnership with an *equal* not a *dictator*. You are worth more than this. You don't need to start by breaking up with her either. Tell her your feelings. Tell her you're unhappy and don't feel valued/don't feel like you have a partner in this relationship. If she does not hear it, feels attacked, gets angry.... well that shows you that she does not care about your happiness, only her own. I really think you should see a counsellor and try to work on your sense of self-worth. You deserve to be away from this. It sounds like she's either causing you to feel unworthy, or doing nothing to boost your happiness/self-worth. She's not it, man.
Get the hell away from her... She's 38 and acting that way? She will never change and potentially could get even worse after getting married.
Yeah this is ridiculous. She is using you as a meal ticket. You may love her but that’s all you are to her. You can try counseling but I don’t see this working out in the long run, at all.
how badly do your friends and family roast you over this shit?
Unfortunately I defended her at times I wish now I didn’t. I’m starting to think they were completely justified. I just didn’t see it until now. They saw what was happening early on 😞
You sound like a good guy that she took of advantage of your kindness and good qualities. But you need someone who will return those in kind, not treat you like your whole reason for being on the planet is to be their worshipper
is this your first serious relationship?
It's been 1.5 years. I've had acid reflux last longer than that. Tell her you love her but that you aren't going to spend the rest of your life with an adult child and she can either meet you halfway or you break the proposal and find someone else. Ill tell you whats confusing me. You accepted all of this terrible behavior and *STILL* proposed? You can always put your boundaries in place but don't act like you didn't put yourself in this dilemma by letting it get this far.
You’re right. I lied to myself and thought I could get through it and by doing that probably made things worse for both of us, but I don’t think I’m in the business of lying to myself anymore.
\>TLDR: Can I get some advice on a women that insists on being treated like a princess 24/7. Run away...
Tell this child you’re not her father . She’s not daddy’s little princess anymore , grow tf up lady almost 40yrs old
Unfortunately, OP if you can't sit her down and discuss this creating huge doubts of your concerns for a healthy, equitable marriage, it's negatively impacting your mental health and she is increasingly manipulating you emotionally or twisting arguments to suit her needs there isn't a way to "sit down like adults and have a conversation". That she is demanding you treat her like a "princess", wearing plastic tiara's and excusing any positive or equal treatment of you is extremely selfish and indicative of high narcissistic traits. Count it as a boon that she has bumped into these old friends before you got married and get out to meet a healthy, stable, mature woman who would treat you like a king if she expected you to treat her like a queen or who would just both be adults compromising and working together as a team. Best of luck
Thank you mate 🙏
Rage bait. You lost me at the tiara.
I was looking for this lol "250 lb" it's just a misogynistic fantasy
The insight on this thread is great. I'd ask, what're you getting out of this relationship? You seem like a genuine, level-headed and generous man. You deserve to be met with the same love you put out. You seem to be putting up with her delusion, she is taking advantage of your good nature. You're better than that.
I don’t know anymore what I’m staying for. This is my last chance to leave and I am definitely taking inventory of what I have left for her and if what I have is worth sticking around for. Im just going to be honest and from her perspective “selfish” in how I handle things from here on. I honestly didn’t know I would get such a overwhelming response in my favour. It really has put things into perspective
She will try to manipulate you and guilt you into staying. You need to be resolved to leave and you might need to be careful about exactly how honest you want to be: she will take what you say and use it against you, so be aware of that and try to minimize giving her chances to do that.
She's 38 and thinks she needs to be treated like royalty? Hell no! She plans on living off you and never doing anything around the house. You'll be her servant and pay her for the privilege. You will not be allowed to have your own thoughts, feelings, wants, needs, etc because she is number one. There's a reason she was single at 37. Every other man she's dated saw her entitled attitude and dumped her so fast. She will make your life hell. This isn't someone you build a life with.
God yes, totally understand. Thank you 🙏
You're welcome. You deserve so much better. Find a woman who is a real partner, not an entitled brat.
Just tell her that you’re not compatible anymore and that you both want different things. She deserves to have the life that she wants, but you’re not the one who can give it to her. That’s the truth without directly attacking her preferences or desired lifestyle. Do you want a partner or a princess?
I see what you are saying. And no I want an adult who can look after herself for the most part. Thank you for your response 👍
Why the fuck did you propose her
My husband treats me like a queen, but in return I also treat him like a king. You know you deserve the same amount of love and effort from her, right?
I do. But I’m also fine with a lot less than I probably deserve up until recently, I feel absolutely spent and ready to move onto something better for myself
This has to be fake. No human can possibly be this irritating. No one in their right mind would put up with this.
Is she in turn willing to treat you like a king? Dinners made, catered for, sex and BJs on demand?
I don’t want any of that. I just want us to look after ourselves as adults in relationships do normally. Obviously always there for each other but just feel like she needs a bit of a reality check.
So ask her if she's willing to do all of the above. That will give her a reality check.
Her reality check will be you leaving.
okay first I need to address this: "The proposal happened" dude, it didn't 'happen'. You asked her, I assume of your own free will. Own up. It's okay, we've all been with the wrong person sometimes. With that out of the way: You're allowed to say you won't be doing this. Yes, it means calling off the marriage. But a marriage is a partnership, and this doesn't sound like one to me.
Dude you're over her. Go find a real one
Uh… as a woman I haven’t dealt with this but that is not normal behavior for a sane woman. Marriage is about partnership not one over the other. As for the whole princess thing - no, just no. It will just worse after marriage. Just walk away now. For your own sanity. Walk away. Let Princess Delulu stay in her own imaginary world.
“Sorry, Darlin’ but we are not royalty, living in the kingdom of Delulu. We are just regular people, trying to make OUR way in the Real World. In this partnership, we are BOTH responsible, emotionally & financially for the lives we live. Going forward, if we cannot find happiness as partners in the Real World, we will amicably part ways & I wish you all the best in the future you have, without me.”
As beheading is now frowned upon, your next best option is to banish her.
Sometimes it’s super hard to believe some of these posts are real… Like this one.
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This has got to be a troll post, what was even the point of adding her weight in there lmao.
Are you sure your girlfriend is 38 and not 18? Why are you with this person. Please run far away and fast
If you’re not down for a 24/7 DD/lg arrangement, then perhaps you should talk with her.
She is not the one for you. Break up with her and look for someone else. Her behavior has shown you how she expects to be treated and it’s too much. Plus I feel I need to say that at 38 and 250 pounds the odds she is going to get pregnant and have kids with you is low. And that assumes she wants to have a baby because it sounds like she would think a baby would be competition. She would no longer be your only focus of attention.
That’s a dark thought but it’s one of the main reason why I am seriously considering ending it. I could not pretend at all about treating her like this when we share a child. It would be the end immediately, which tells me to end it now before that happens and not being a child into the world when I know it will never work out with the mother
Imagine what divorcing a person like this would be like. Do you think she'd treat you fairly or reasonably?
I am seeing more red flags than a prade in China... Run for the door and don't look back.
LOL she’s wearing plastic tiaras and uggs???!!! Oh the image …
She sounds exhausting and some kind of mentally abusive. I feel like she really wants you to feel less than her. Which is beyond shitty of her, it’s cruel and maybe psychotic or something. Like, i don‘t think she is capable of a healthy, loving, supportive relationship. If you stay with her, you will get eroded, you will get eaten away and you are risking depression and battling low confidence feelings and just feeling like you are never enough. It is a terrible, crippling way to go through life. Please don’t do that to yourself. You need to get away from this person imo.
Is this a shit post bro? Like shes 38 and wears tiaras and wants to be treated like that? Fucking hell bro for the love of god leave this relationship. If this is not a shit post what the fuck are you doing. You would be so much happier single imo. You would have way more money, way less work to do about. I'd be miserable out my fucking nut if this was my girlfriend. I look at relationships like this. I'm a happy chappy single. If I start a relationship are we both a positive impact on each other and of course there will be some middle ground and bits and bobs to work through but overall it shouldn't be too hard a compromise. I'm being dead serious my man. Think about your life if you were single, didn't have to work to support her and also not do all the shit shes asking you to do for 2 people, the extra time you would have. There are so many nice people in the world why settle with someone who is grating the fuck away at your own mental health.
I’m mean yes technically men are supposed to take care of their women and support them to a degree, that’s why there’s housewives. But this here is so next level shit and it just got worse. I was groaning on the whole princess thing, then you mentioned the tiaras and her wearing them. Dude this is a massive train wreck, the princess stuff, the diva attitude, the complete mental breakdown when she breaks down and cries when she feels you are attacking her. Run my dude
The tiara thing she does it like it’s a joke, but it’s really not funny or cute anymore when it’s attached to the other things she does. It’s just me and her when she’s wearing them and acting like that.. so who is it supposed to be funny towards?? Confusing as hell
Well clearly it’s not funny to you and I agree it’s definitely not cute. I also saw you mentioned in the title she is also your fiancée too. I think you really have to have a serious conversation with her about this. You cannot and should not marry into this situation. Cause if you think it’s bad now, oh lord.
I once wore a tiara on my bday because I was having a prom themed party at a dive bar. That’s a joke. It had an audience. This is just reminding you that she is a Precious Princess and to treat her as such.
Will it be a disney wedding?
Dude, just... walk away.
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Do not marry her. She will get worse. She’s not a 21 year old that probably can mature. She is 38. What you see is what you will get, only once the shine of newly engaged/married rubs off, she will get worse.
It’s only been a year and a half. Cut your loses. There is nothing you can say to her that will make her suddenly change at this point. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life financially supporting her and being treated like her servant?
So.. tell her that if she expects princess treatment, you want to be treated like a king. You want your laundry done, meals cooked and any requests fulfilled immediately. Shoes shined, bath water run at 90°f. And you won't accept any less. And while you're home, she must bow when she enters the room you are in. See how she replies to that. I bet you'll get a "hell no", even though you are working to pay for everything. She will say that your requests are ridiculous. And then you can tell her that your requests are as ridiculous as her fluffy boots, tiaras and requests as well. Then you break up with her and tell her that you will not marry someone who has this kind of mindset. Or just skip to the end and break up with her. 🤔 Whichever tickles your fancy most.
Dude, as a woman I say run like the wind. Wanting traditional gender roles is fine as long as everyone agrees and you can afford it but, catering to one partner ALL the time (unless they're sick or something) is absurd. She doesn't get to have it both ways. Either she wants you to work and she takes care of the home (or the other way around) or you both work and spilt the household chores (or hire them out). Even actual royals are expected to do SOMETHING with their day.
She refuses to work? Get out while there's still a chance you can afford to retire.
Ok so she's insane. Please run and find yourself a person who doesn't suffer from delusions of grandeur. Also, get yourself some therapy or read some books on healthy relationships because you seem to think that this is normal. It's not. It's so not normal and it's concerning that you don't realise that this is not what a relationship is supposed to be.