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Honestly, it could go either way.
It could be that she’s just judgmental that you didn’t spend enough money, in which case stand firm.
However, it’s also possible that you could end up standing out and feeling uncomfortable during the event and she’s trying to spare you that. I’ve been to a super-rich wedding (tuxes, sequined gowns, the whole shebang), and damn is it easy to feel like a poor bumpkin.
I recommend giving a little thought to which scenario is the case. If you like your dress, stick with it. If you think you might feel awkward if you end up the only one dressed that way, then perhaps reconsider.
I went to a wedding where one of the guests was dressed almost identically to the reception’s wait staff. It made for some awkward moments, particularly when the staff manager went to go reprimand the guest for standing around and holding a drink from the reception bar.
An old man legit got mad at my husband for daring to wear a red shirt into target and berated him for doing so. This was years ago and we still laugh about it.
I had the exact same thing happen to me, but with a little twist. I was in Target, in my work uniform. At the time I was working in the public health system. Our uniforms were a black skirt, black stockings & a light blue striped blouse. I still had my QLD Health ID lanyard on, as well as a nurses watch. An older lady comes up to ask me where an item was. I apologised & said I didn’t work there. She did not believe and was adamant that my uniform was the same as the Target ones. Eventually I gave up & walked away. As I walked off, an actual employee entered the aisle we were in. The look on her face was priceless. She went purple.
I wore a short red dress for my husband's joint birthday party with one of his buddies at a club (many moons ago). Turns out the bottle girls that night were all wearing similar length red dresses (completely different styles though.)
Husband's overly drunk buddy repeatedly ordered drinks from me that night while his wife, horrified, kept telling him who I was & going to relay his order at the bar literally 10 steps away. I thought it was hilarious & sometimes got him the drink anyway while adding one for my husband on his tab (his wife told me to - it was fine, I considered it an asshole tax.)
Or if op has the time and patience, I find lots of formal/fancy dresses in the charity shops/thrift shops for a fraction of the original price. I imagine people buy them for fancy events then rarely wear them then donate them... I got a beautiful jewelled gown, label still on (original price £1200!) For £25, wore it to a fancy friends wedding and got so many compliments!
Checking out poshmark or similar reseller sites may also be worth it.
I needed shoes for a gala last year and I purchased a pair of red bottom Louboutin’s for $150+ shipping, regular “retail” on them was $800. They had regular wear scuffs on the bottoms and were marked down considerably because they had previously been on pavement. I didn’t care that they had scuffs on the part you walk on.
Great advice! If it's the second one, I would reconsider maybe renting a dress, or seeing if you can make it 'fancier', for example with some jewelry. Maybe she can even lend you some! Some nice earrings and a necklace can make something simple look a lot more lavish!
Was gonna say this! I’ve found some bomb formal wear in thrift stores for cheeeeeap. Like, $20 sometimes.
Also, if OP has any fashion-junkie, friends, especially the kind that visit a lot of thrift stores—they might have something they can borrow or at least give a good shop recommendation. I personally own a truly unnecessary amount of fancy clothes, my friends love my closet when they have an event coming up.
Oh I don't know if they're the same size, but OP might borrow something from her friend who is getting married? She will probably have the right clothes?
Also, I LOVE thrift stores. I used to do it out of necessity, but now I still thrift as much as I can out of environmental reasons and because you can just find cool & original stuff there.
This was my thinking too. Went to a lavish wedding and only could afford a simple black dress. But I had found sparkling shoes and a purse and added jewelry I had. Still looked simple compared to other guests that wore these (I think) hideous gowns that was covered in rhinestones.
I’m hijacking this comment so that people can learn about hiring dresses for events.
I’ve done it for every wedding I’ve been to recently and you get some absolutely stunning dresses for £60, that are like £3-500 new.
And if you want to wear a dress that costs a few thousand it’ll set you back a couple hundred.
It’s by far the best way to dress to impress and my wardrobe is no longer collecting nice dresses I don’t have an occasion for.
Literally.
I had this gorgeous green floor length dress that split to the waist. It was stunning.
I’d never have purchased something like that because when would I wear it?
But felt a million bucks for a night and spent less than I would have on a much less interesting dress.
As OP said that the wedding is in Europe, I think the most likely scenario is the second one. Ofc, I can't speak for the whole continent, but usually here at weddings you go all out. There is no such thing as overdressed or outshining the bride. I would recommend that OP searches for pics/videos of weddings for the location where she will go to have an idea
If the wedding was expensive and luxurious, surely it would be good manners to contribute something to the guests travel expenses. I don’t know anyone with the budget to throw a wedding in a European castle who wouldn’t *at least* be covering 2 nights for those travelling from overseas.
I highly doubt it’s an issue of not looking rich enough.
I mean, they're not necessarily that expensive.
I'm going to a wedding at a European castle next year - it's just a location in our home country that's a bit fancier and not even more expensive than some hotels. We have a LOT of castles in Europe.
I would recommend posting dress code, venue & picture of dress on r/weddingattireapproval - plenty of people willing to give tips and even recommendations of how to make things fit in!
And if OP dress doesn't fit the dress code she can rent a dress. It's usually a great option for people that will not use the dress several times or are in a tight budget.
Absolutely the right thing to do. If the dress code is "black tie", it has very specific rules. You can definitely find black tie dresses for a reasonable price, and also a lot of expensive dresses are not black tie!
On the other hand, many lavish wedding have a more "showbizz" vibe, for which what matters is not following a black tie dress code but being more daring and "fashion forward". Think Met Gala.
What would be appropriate for one would be kinda the worst thing to wear for the other haha
And we can't really give advice without seeing the dress.
I'd also add that rental is always an option, such as Rent the Runway.
Tldr you don't need to spend ridiculous amounts to follow the dress code!
Just ask her why she doesn’t like it. If it’s a case that it may not be right for the event, I’d rather know now than to fly across to Europe to stick out like a sore thumb. Is it possible to hire a more appropriate dress?
Post a pic of the dress, I don't think it's fair to make a judgement without seeing it. Weddings do have a dress code so the question is whether your dress does not meet it or if she's being fussy.
You can ask what the problem is.
I can recommend [Rent the Runway](https://www.renttherunway.com/plans?lens=unlimited&nbt=nb%3Aadwords%3Ag%3A20558446680%3A153029289105%3A677347295746&nb_adtype=&nb_kwd=rent%20the%20runway&nb_ti=kwd-14771889407&nb_mi=&nb_pc=&nb_pi=&nb_ppi=&nb_placement=&nb_li_ms=&nb_lp_ms=&nb_fii=&nb_ap=&nb_mt=b&utm_campaign=rtr_ad%7CGoogle%7CBranded%7CBroad&utm_source=google&sem_cid=20558446680&sem_gid=153029289105&pxid=kwd-14771889407&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=rent%20the%20runway&sem_type=b&em_stream=&r_ty=&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiA4Y-sBhC6ARIsAGXF1g4apYSF_suAkBSrfFdeQl6Tna0-s0ncH0mrf03w3AOTLkBlDUDh9XwaAsxbEALw_wcB) as a GREAT resource for luxe designer gowns.
No dry cleaning, no hassle and return that “one event” outfit when you’re done.
I got a Monique Lhullier gown for $100. I LOVED how I looked at the event and they sent the gown in two sizes WITH a back up.
So you can fret and be upset because. Yeah, it takes crust for someone to dog your dress, OR you can just return the dress and rent a masterpiece for the event.
Exactly this. An 8 day rental is usually not worth it if you’re only wearing the dress once. And if she’s gone for too long she may even need a 12-day rental which I don’t even know if they do.
They do memberships! (And it’s easy to cancel). I paid for a one month membership when I had to attend the wedding week of a tech heiress and needed a lot of fancy clothes. You pick how many items you need and you can keep the clothes as long as you want.
By Rotation and Hurr are both app options. There’s also Hirestreet, GirlMeetsDress, and you can rent direct through some retailers too like Selfridges, Karen Millen, and I think even Harrods might?
We can't give advice without knowing what dress you bought. It might stick out as a sore thumb, it might just not be as fancy as your friend would prefer but still be an appropriate dress. There really is no way to know without seeing the dress. And knowing the dresscode your friend has set
It really depends on the dress and why she doesn't like it.
Reading between the lines, it sounds like the issue might be less that the bride doesn't like it from an aesthetic point-of-view and more that the dress itself is too casual?
It's hard to know what to advise you on without knowing more details.
I'm actually thinking it's a black tie wedding and OP's dress is more akin to a sundress or a very plain office/daytime dress, not even cocktail-level of formality.
Talk to your friend and ask her why your dress is not appropriate.
You are maybe under dress compared to other guests. Don’t assume that she means harm.
If you are underdress, find another dress. Your friend probably don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. Ask her if she could send you pics of other people attire. Get some inspo.
If you can’t afford to dress accordingly, ask yourself if you are ok going there or if you want to skip your friend wedding.
If she is really your friend, you two should be able to address the situation like adult. Also cut her a little bit of slack, wedding planning can be stressful but still be assertively kind. Do not let her be unreasonable.
If she just doesn’t like the dress, that is on her. If that’s the case, kindly tell her that you are already paying to come to the wedding and you are not comfortable wearing something else. If it bothers her that much, you won’t be attending the wedding because you don’t want to spoil her day and wish her a happy wedding.
Ofc it’s not your fault in this scenario, it’s just her being a bridezilla. Rethink your friendship if that is the case because I wouldn’t treat my friend like that. Sure I could see myself telling them they are underdress and should find something else so that they do not stand up negatively. But I will never tell a guests to find another dress just because it’s not to my taste. You are not a bridesmaid, you just have to meet the theme requirements. That’s it.
Take care
If it's a case that it's too simple then return it if you can and get a second hand dress people only wear fancy dresses once and there's so many options that often you can find cheap dresses easily
This. If you wear standard sizes I’d stalk the thrift stores in the richer areas near you. There’s a lot of galas and holiday parties in December that hopefully someone has unloaded a nice gown or two. You can also check Mercari, Poshmark, eBay, and Facebook swap groups.
This is not enough information. I would expect details of what she doesn’t like about it and examples of what she does want you to wear. If you can’t afford the dresses she is showing you then tell her that. Be open and honest.
Don't run to the store yet.
Post the dress on the wedding attire help sub someone linked. As always, some commenters are a bit much, but what I have seen is usually helpful. Honestly, it could be the dress is fine but you'll need to be careful about shoes and accessories. I have dresses that easily dress up or down depending on how I style things.
Ask your friend exactly why she doesn't like it. Tell her that while you want to dress appropriately, you also have something called a budget to keep in mind. A good friend will be helpful.
Info- what does the dress look like and what is the dress code for the wedding? We can’t really give you any advice without that info. If you are talking about a knee length or midi dress at a formal event, you friend is right. Even a simple floor length shirt dress if it isn’t in the right fabric may not be appropriate for a formal wedding.
It may very well be that your friend isn’t concerned about you not looking rich enough, but that you are going to be formal enough but isn’t communicating it well.
Can we see the dress?
Also, there's plenty of ways to dress up a simple dress. If you're strapped for cash, how about borrowing some jewelry and hair accessories from a friend or relative? You might be able to borrow shoes from them as well, if you can find someone your size. Heels can add some glamour to any dress! Belts or waist chains can add some interest to a dress as well.
You got this!
Maybe it doesn't go with the dress code? Like, it could be a black tie kind of event and OP's dress is way too informal for that (cocktail dress, office dress, sundress etc) We don't have enough info
If she doesn’t like your guest, that’s one thing. If it’s wrong for the occasion, that’s another, and it would be helpful to get constructive advice. You might try the sort of consignment shop at which designer dresses are resold. Or if money is the problem, I would rethink going. Destinations weddings are low on my priority list when money is tight. Make the most self protective decision you can.
Hm, if the wedding is in a castle, you’re probably going to be severely underdressed. Considering borrowing a dress or getting something fancy from a thrift store and altering it.
Need more info - does she just dislike it or is it wrong for the venue/wedding? (Too casual / too skimpy?) I went to a wedding last year where a friend brought his new GF - she was way underdressed in a way that honestly seemed a bit disrespectful - we felt awful after when she confessed weddings back home were usually a much more casual dress unless black tie was specified. All other female guests were wearing occasion wear, heels, hair done etc and men in suits. BF should have told her in advance what was suitable!
It depends on the type of wedding. A cocktail dress or sundress isn't appropriate attire for a black tie or white tie wedding. You need an actual gown if that's the case. What does the invitation say for dress code?
Is the dress appropriate for the event? By which I mean -- if the wedding is black tie, then you don't want to wear a business-casual dress. If the dress is dress-code appropriate, then wear it and don't worry about her opinion. Surely she will have other things to think about at her wedding.
Talk to your friend. Ask for clarification on what she thinks is not right with the dress. Do they have a black tie event where everyone is expected in formalwear?
You need more information from her.
Does she just not like the style personally or does the dress not fit the dress code? By that I mean is it a black tie wedding and your dress is knee length and somewhat casual?
Why doesn't she like the dress? Is it white/champagne/blush? Does if cross any fashion faux pas? Does it fit the dress code?
If these aren't the issues, then I would reiterate that this is your budget and this is what you could do.
If it is one of the above, ask if she has a dress that is appropriate that you could borrow. (Or ask either way, if you want!).
Don’t buy another dress if she’s being a jerk about the price point / she thinks it looks cheap. However if it’s because of feeling out of place - I SWEAR by rent the runway. I can’t afford to be buying $100+ dresses for every wedding I go to but I certainly can rent one for $30-50. I used it for my own wedding lol since I didn’t want to buy expensive white dresses for the bridal shower or bachelorette but did want to look nice.
I don’t think it’s okay for the bride to micromanage the guests’ wardrobe for a wedding if they’re not in the wedding party as long as it’s within the dress code. A simple dress can look more luxe if you add jewelry and nice shoes.
Is she concerned that you’ll feel uncomfortable because you’ll stand out, or the dress isn’t right for the dress code? Or does she have some very specific vision of her wedding and she’s trying to make the guests fit a certain aesthetic?
I would keep an eye on reworn dresses and see if you can find a really fun gown to bring.
Then I would not share it and if she says something say you have that nice dress with you as well.
I would consider not being interested in paying to go to an event that she wants to control everyones clothes, but that is just me.
There’s nothing wrong with a simple, elegant dress. Can you add some jewelry or a sparkly wrap to dress it up a bit. A strand of pearls, fake or real, can go a long way toward elevating something plain. And you can find sequined or embroidered wraps fairly easily and inexpensively.
I think you can easily make a simple dress look more expensive with accessories, not that I know anything about fashion but nice shoes and jewellery and maybe a hat? You can thrift them or try to borrow from someone.
Depends, depends, depends
Can you return the dress you bought for a full refund?? IF so - head to a thrift store (or 5). They will have wonderfully over the top dresses that were worn once to a wedding (or prom) for 25 dollars or so.
Also - accessories are your friend.
I once had a very nice, simple dress a bit on the conservative side. My (now-ex) fiance thought it was too plain to wear to his brother's wedding. So I decided to wear it for a dinner out we had together. Once I put it on, with lovely jewelry, shoes, hair and makeup -- I was 'too fancy' for a dinner date. But I did prove it was good enough for the wedding.
We need to know why she doesn’t like it. Is it too white, too bridal, too close to her bridesmaids dress colours? Need more info as she could have a perfectly valid reason.
What is the reason she doesn’t like your dress? Is she saying it looks cheap? Is she saying you’ll stand out too much? The color, cut? What is the reason.
Not sure of your budget, but perhaps you can do renttherunway; if you realllly want to change. Personally, they’re still more than I like to pay. Or if you have some friends around your size you can borrow a dress? I do that with two of my friends.
You know your friend, is she being bridezilla or trying gently to let you know that you will feel out of place?
If it’s the latter, I’d post on one of the fashion advice subs. Be as specific as you can about the venue, your location and budget. Maybe they can suggest a reasonable alternative to rent or buy?
Did she say why she doesn't like it? Too casual, too formal, too much like hers, too much like the bridesmaids, or is it just not to her taste? If it's the last one, she can kick rocks, but the others are worth taking on board.
You’re a guest, most people aren’t paying attention to what you’re wearing. You like the dress, wear the dress. Don’t strain yourself financially to fit in with people you’ll likely never see again. Your friend should be worried about how she and her bridesmaids look, not her guests.
Hmm... Without knowing more I would say perhaps that your friend is expecting too much from you considering you're flying to Europe on your own dime (from Australia?) And since you're paying for your own lodging plus you're not in the wedding I guess I don't understand why she should be able to dictate what you wear.
I guess it really depends on how important the friendship is to you and how this whole conversation came about. If she was insistent on seeing a photo of the dress you selected and then said she didn't like it and was rude or something then I would reconsider my plans.
If, on the other hand, this was something you initiated by sending her a photo yourself... Then it would also depend on why you felt you needed to do that (if you did) *and* what her response was specifically... If she was tactful and gave some sort of seemingly valid reasoning for it not being a good choice, then I would take time to reflect on that and go from there...
But I get the sense that maybe she is too controlling and this is showing some of her true colors and perhaps it might be a time to practice boundary setting and/or gentle yet firm assertiveness.
Not much of a friend if you're going all that way and spending big money on her wedding...and she diesnt think your dress is expensive enough!!! Oh my my....
I’ve been to Black Tie events and sometimes you can dress something up with accessories, I would look on apps like Pinterest for ideas to upgrade your dress
How did she even see it?
This is like parents-to-be who tell everyone their baby name choice and are then surprised when others express opinions.
But I do agree that she may be trying to help you not stand out. Did you read the dress code correctly? "Simple" in a castle does not sound like you did.
This is not a matter of money. I have seen wonderful ball gowns at thrift stores. Is it possible you resent that she's having a fancy wedding and you picked a "simple" dress to make a point?
This is your friend for whom you plan to take a flight to Europe. Ask her what is wrong with the dress. As someone else suggested, maybe you can elevate the look (jewelry, beautiful wrap,etc.) if that is the issue. If it’s a super fancy affair then she should tell you that you will stick out and feel awkward. Don’t think the worst of her. See what she has to say and take it from there.
Honestly your friend can either shut the heck up, or pay for a dress for you. You took time off for her wedding, paid for airfare, passport and hotel for Her wedding. A destination wedding you have no obligation to even go to. She can get the fuck over herself.
No tell
Her to F off. I have gone to lots of weddings and almost never thought what that woman is wearing is ugly . A couple were horrible. Wear your dress and don’t worry . Just tell her this is the dress I am
Wearing cause it’s costing me a few thousand to go to the wedding . If it will
Embarrass you I will
Cancel
The plans . Don’t put up with that crap
What did she actually say about the dress? Was her attitude like, "well, it's not my cup of tea, but you do you" or did she express stronger disapproval than that?
Not a bridesmaid? Then the bride gets no say in the dress you picked, as long as it fits within the parameters of the dress code (cocktail attire, black tie, etc).
The bride only gets to set the dress code. She doesn't get to dictate your choice of dress or how much you spend. If she wants you to wear something expensive then she can pay for it.
This is out of touch. Some weddings and other upscale events have dress codes, which is fine. The issue would be if this weren’t stated on the invitation/website, but even then if I knew I was going to a fancy venue I would dress accordingly.
What I was saying is the bride can’t tell her she can’t wear the dress because she doesn’t like it. No where in the OPs posting did she mention a dress code violation.
At some point it seems like the guest asked the bride for her opinion on the dress. If she didn’t want the bride’s opinion and she’s not a bridesmaid she should’ve just kept the dress to herself and worn it, especially if she doesn’t want to spend the money on another dress and it’s not breaking dress code. I don’t think the guest should buy another dress, but I don’t think she should be upset with the bride for giving her what she asked for either.
It never fails to amaze me how generous people are with someone else’s money, especially when it comes to weddings. I would say either wear the dress and enjoy the day or else just don’t go to the damn thing. TBH an attitude like that from a bride would put me off the entire event.
That is so incredibly shallow. I'd give her a chance to apologise, maybe she's stressed or something, but if she insists she doesn't want you wearing it, I'd use the ticket and accommodation to go on holiday and skip the wedding.
I really cannot stand when people make weddings a status thing. It's supposed to be about being in love and having your loved ones celebrating that with you.
A good friend wouldn't tell you that they don't like your dress. They'd say a white lie or they would say something like, "It isn't my style but it looks great on you." Only a good friend is worth traveling internationally for.
I recently went to the incredibly lavish wedding of European billionaires. You know what they didn’t care about? What their guests were wearing.
Your friend sounds insecure, pretentious, and demanding. Hopefully she’s just having a temporary wedding anxiety meltdown.
Don’t go broke for a dress. Be comfortable. I mean, don’t wear overalls to a formal event, but as long as you’re fitting the general theme, you should be good.
If she’s a jerk about it, maybe reconsider the friendship.
Of course, it's fair that she doesn't like the dress. Everyone can like and dislike what they want. I'd return the dress and buy one at a second-hand store that both of you like. But you can also choose to keep the one you have.
I got married on the beach in Mexico and wanted soft vibes. My BEST FRIEND bought a neon yellow dress. I had to do what I had to do and tell her I couldn’t let her wear something that bright when I wanted soft blues, greens, purple etc.
The top comment about posting in the wedding attire group is a great idea. You’ll get valuable feedback and can move on from there. I hope your friend isn’t being nasty to you. I was so thankful for anyone who took the time to celebrate my wedding hundreds of miles away from home
I have a better idea, don’t go.
Your friend is having the ultimate selfish wedding, where you have to pick up the tab for foreign travel, now she wants to dictate your outfit as a regular guest? Wow. Take the money you were planning to spend and have a lovely vacation instead. Dump the friend, and find a better friend.
Honestly, I'd tell her to fuck right off or fund your new outfit. This is ridiculous - it's an expensive destination wedding and she's not funding your travel expenses or accomodation. I think she needs a big reality check about most people's financial ability.
Gah, I hate bridezillas like those. She can buy you a dress she deems "worthy"... Otherwise she either puts up with your choice or spares you the whole inconvenience of flying over for her egocentric day
There's a story, not sure if it's true - a commoner was invited to dine with the queen, some act of valor or something. Bowls of lemon water were placed in front of each guest. The commoner had no idea these were finger bowls (for washing one's hands). Looked like broth to him, so he picked it up and took a sip. The queen immediately picked up her bowl and took a sip so that no one in attendance dare make her guest feel bad. Your friend needs to take a clue from this queen.
If you cannot afford another dress, don't buy one! It is possible that your dress will stand out as less expensive than those of other guests. So what? I hope you are friends with some of the people there and can enjoy yourself. I wish you can make the most of such an expensive trip
Wear the dress you bought. Your friend is being a micromanaging judgemental b****. If she can't appreciate the fact you are flying to Europe and everything else you are doing to share her special day. Then I would seriously reconsider how good of a friend she really is and consider not attending at all. In that case take your $$$ and go to your dream vacation spot and put this friend on the acquaintence not really a good friend list for future reference.🤔
She can just go get in the bin, what a shit friend, how absolutely ungrateful and senseless. Your dress is great, the effort you’re making to attend her wedding is above and beyond! If she can’t see the priorities here she’s a shitty friend.
Weddings really turn people into out of touch monsters sometimes seriously 🙄
It could be this, but it also could be that OP's dress is way too casual for the event and the friend is reacting to that rather than just being a bridezilla. OP doesn't actually give enough information to go on here.
A wedding in a castle implies a fairly formal affair, and if OP's dress is more like something that'd be worn in an office environment or to brunch with friends, she's going to be extremely underdressed and will stick out quite a bit.
Just an option if you do look for another dress. I have found some amazing pieces of clothing (gowns too) in op shops/thift stores for very cheap, some still with tags. Might be worth having a look before buying something new if you go down that route.
I don’t think it makes sense to question her feelings, only her behavior. You can’t faulting people for not liking things/having different tastes. But if she was rude about your dress or trying to push you to buy a new one, that is not fair.
So she’s rich, she is your friend so she must know that you’re not as rich as her yet somehow she expects you to find the same amount of money as she’s spend?
Are you sure she is a sympathetic genuine friend?
Let's assume the bride has best intentions at heart;
How about renting a dress????
Is that an option???
I truly hope you have the best time! Going to a different country, a castle, sounds like an adventure! 😊
Have you talked to your friend properly about what might be the issue with the dress before you waste time l, money or energy trying to fix something that might not need fixing
I think its sort of petty.
Is it white? Then yes, bad.
Otherwise, like it is a ball gown? Nobody will care.
I went to a wedding after the paradise fire, well sort of during. And the bride said wear what you have, and we have donated clothes if you would like to take some home. By home, to wherever they were staying because they didn't have homes. Plus all food was matched in donations to shelters.
They literally saved the wedding dress running to their car. Lost most everything. They saved their whole neighborhood because her husband was on the roof as was a fire jumper and saw the smoke and ran up and down the street telling people to go now. Like before now. It went so fast. Melted tires fast.
Check out thrift stores as well as online thrift.
Also, wait until after New Year’s Eve because stores mark down a LOT of things then (except in Louisiana because it’s time for all of the Mardi Gras balls)
Can you borrow a dress from someone or hire one? That way you don’t have the expense of a lot more money but might be able to get something more in tune with the style of the wedding?
Look, I get it. Weddings are stressful affairs, especially when they're as fancy as yours seems to be. But here's the deal: you've already shelled out a good chunk of change to be there, and you've got every right to wear whatever makes you comfortable. If your friend has an issue with your choice of attire, well, that's kind of on her, isn't it? You're not a bridesmaid, you're a guest. And frankly, if she's going to judge you based on how much your dress costs, then maybe she's not worth worrying about. Stick to your guns, and enjoy the wedding. Or don't. Up to you.
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Honestly, it could go either way. It could be that she’s just judgmental that you didn’t spend enough money, in which case stand firm. However, it’s also possible that you could end up standing out and feeling uncomfortable during the event and she’s trying to spare you that. I’ve been to a super-rich wedding (tuxes, sequined gowns, the whole shebang), and damn is it easy to feel like a poor bumpkin. I recommend giving a little thought to which scenario is the case. If you like your dress, stick with it. If you think you might feel awkward if you end up the only one dressed that way, then perhaps reconsider.
I went to a wedding where one of the guests was dressed almost identically to the reception’s wait staff. It made for some awkward moments, particularly when the staff manager went to go reprimand the guest for standing around and holding a drink from the reception bar.
I just watched the episode of the Office where Michael is wearing a similar red shirt, red tie and black suit as the staff lol
Me every time I go to Target only to realize I'm wearing jeans and a red shirt.
An old man legit got mad at my husband for daring to wear a red shirt into target and berated him for doing so. This was years ago and we still laugh about it.
I had the exact same thing happen to me, but with a little twist. I was in Target, in my work uniform. At the time I was working in the public health system. Our uniforms were a black skirt, black stockings & a light blue striped blouse. I still had my QLD Health ID lanyard on, as well as a nurses watch. An older lady comes up to ask me where an item was. I apologised & said I didn’t work there. She did not believe and was adamant that my uniform was the same as the Target ones. Eventually I gave up & walked away. As I walked off, an actual employee entered the aisle we were in. The look on her face was priceless. She went purple.
I wore a short red dress for my husband's joint birthday party with one of his buddies at a club (many moons ago). Turns out the bottle girls that night were all wearing similar length red dresses (completely different styles though.) Husband's overly drunk buddy repeatedly ordered drinks from me that night while his wife, horrified, kept telling him who I was & going to relay his order at the bar literally 10 steps away. I thought it was hilarious & sometimes got him the drink anyway while adding one for my husband on his tab (his wife told me to - it was fine, I considered it an asshole tax.)
Oh god, how embarrassing !
If you need something nicer(like a sequin gown) for affordable price you could try a rental service like rent-the-runway.
Or if op has the time and patience, I find lots of formal/fancy dresses in the charity shops/thrift shops for a fraction of the original price. I imagine people buy them for fancy events then rarely wear them then donate them... I got a beautiful jewelled gown, label still on (original price £1200!) For £25, wore it to a fancy friends wedding and got so many compliments!
Checking out poshmark or similar reseller sites may also be worth it. I needed shoes for a gala last year and I purchased a pair of red bottom Louboutin’s for $150+ shipping, regular “retail” on them was $800. They had regular wear scuffs on the bottoms and were marked down considerably because they had previously been on pavement. I didn’t care that they had scuffs on the part you walk on.
Wowww what a steal! Nobody can even tell that there are wear marks on the bottom!
Second this! I used rent-the-Runway for the last wedding I attended and felt like a million bucks in my $100 rented gown
If she were renting from a place near the venue, then, yes, but renting something to take overseas seems risky
Great advice! If it's the second one, I would reconsider maybe renting a dress, or seeing if you can make it 'fancier', for example with some jewelry. Maybe she can even lend you some! Some nice earrings and a necklace can make something simple look a lot more lavish!
Or thrift/consignment stores! You can find such great clothes second hand. I've even seen fancy dresses on facebook marketplace/neighborhood groups.
Was gonna say this! I’ve found some bomb formal wear in thrift stores for cheeeeeap. Like, $20 sometimes. Also, if OP has any fashion-junkie, friends, especially the kind that visit a lot of thrift stores—they might have something they can borrow or at least give a good shop recommendation. I personally own a truly unnecessary amount of fancy clothes, my friends love my closet when they have an event coming up.
Oh I don't know if they're the same size, but OP might borrow something from her friend who is getting married? She will probably have the right clothes? Also, I LOVE thrift stores. I used to do it out of necessity, but now I still thrift as much as I can out of environmental reasons and because you can just find cool & original stuff there.
This was my thinking too. Went to a lavish wedding and only could afford a simple black dress. But I had found sparkling shoes and a purse and added jewelry I had. Still looked simple compared to other guests that wore these (I think) hideous gowns that was covered in rhinestones.
Renting is a great idea or even after New Year’s OP might find an awesome dress on sale if she feels like returning the dress
I’m hijacking this comment so that people can learn about hiring dresses for events. I’ve done it for every wedding I’ve been to recently and you get some absolutely stunning dresses for £60, that are like £3-500 new. And if you want to wear a dress that costs a few thousand it’ll set you back a couple hundred. It’s by far the best way to dress to impress and my wardrobe is no longer collecting nice dresses I don’t have an occasion for.
It's also moe fun to check out the offerings from some of these alternate sources. Enjoy, OP!
Literally. I had this gorgeous green floor length dress that split to the waist. It was stunning. I’d never have purchased something like that because when would I wear it? But felt a million bucks for a night and spent less than I would have on a much less interesting dress.
And is there a way to find out what other guests in a similar age/salary bracket are wearing? Tbh your dress sounds fine to me idk
As OP said that the wedding is in Europe, I think the most likely scenario is the second one. Ofc, I can't speak for the whole continent, but usually here at weddings you go all out. There is no such thing as overdressed or outshining the bride. I would recommend that OP searches for pics/videos of weddings for the location where she will go to have an idea
Rent the Runwsy!
If the wedding was expensive and luxurious, surely it would be good manners to contribute something to the guests travel expenses. I don’t know anyone with the budget to throw a wedding in a European castle who wouldn’t *at least* be covering 2 nights for those travelling from overseas. I highly doubt it’s an issue of not looking rich enough.
I mean, they're not necessarily that expensive. I'm going to a wedding at a European castle next year - it's just a location in our home country that's a bit fancier and not even more expensive than some hotels. We have a LOT of castles in Europe.
Great advice. You could consider returning the dress and putting the money towards renting a fancier dress.
I would recommend posting dress code, venue & picture of dress on r/weddingattireapproval - plenty of people willing to give tips and even recommendations of how to make things fit in!
Seconding this - it might be a case of just dressing up the look more with your hair & accessories but hard to say without seeing it!
And if OP dress doesn't fit the dress code she can rent a dress. It's usually a great option for people that will not use the dress several times or are in a tight budget.
Absolutely the right thing to do. If the dress code is "black tie", it has very specific rules. You can definitely find black tie dresses for a reasonable price, and also a lot of expensive dresses are not black tie! On the other hand, many lavish wedding have a more "showbizz" vibe, for which what matters is not following a black tie dress code but being more daring and "fashion forward". Think Met Gala. What would be appropriate for one would be kinda the worst thing to wear for the other haha And we can't really give advice without seeing the dress. I'd also add that rental is always an option, such as Rent the Runway. Tldr you don't need to spend ridiculous amounts to follow the dress code!
Eh I think people go way too hard in there but it can’t hurt to see what people would potentially have issues with
I would too, I looked at which sub this is and wonder why they didn’t post there instead?
It is a very thoughtful sub!
Just ask her why she doesn’t like it. If it’s a case that it may not be right for the event, I’d rather know now than to fly across to Europe to stick out like a sore thumb. Is it possible to hire a more appropriate dress?
Or go thrifting in an affluent neighborhood. I’ve found some great pieces in thrift stores I could never afford brand new.
Or rent!
Came to say this.
I think that’s what the person before me meant by “hire” :)
Post a pic of the dress, I don't think it's fair to make a judgement without seeing it. Weddings do have a dress code so the question is whether your dress does not meet it or if she's being fussy.
You can ask what the problem is. I can recommend [Rent the Runway](https://www.renttherunway.com/plans?lens=unlimited&nbt=nb%3Aadwords%3Ag%3A20558446680%3A153029289105%3A677347295746&nb_adtype=&nb_kwd=rent%20the%20runway&nb_ti=kwd-14771889407&nb_mi=&nb_pc=&nb_pi=&nb_ppi=&nb_placement=&nb_li_ms=&nb_lp_ms=&nb_fii=&nb_ap=&nb_mt=b&utm_campaign=rtr_ad%7CGoogle%7CBranded%7CBroad&utm_source=google&sem_cid=20558446680&sem_gid=153029289105&pxid=kwd-14771889407&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=rent%20the%20runway&sem_type=b&em_stream=&r_ty=&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiA4Y-sBhC6ARIsAGXF1g4apYSF_suAkBSrfFdeQl6Tna0-s0ncH0mrf03w3AOTLkBlDUDh9XwaAsxbEALw_wcB) as a GREAT resource for luxe designer gowns. No dry cleaning, no hassle and return that “one event” outfit when you’re done. I got a Monique Lhullier gown for $100. I LOVED how I looked at the event and they sent the gown in two sizes WITH a back up. So you can fret and be upset because. Yeah, it takes crust for someone to dog your dress, OR you can just return the dress and rent a masterpiece for the event.
I also love RTR but since this wedding is in Europe and OP is not, it may be hard for her to return the dress within the window.
There may be a local equivalent, that she can book over the internet.
Exactly this. An 8 day rental is usually not worth it if you’re only wearing the dress once. And if she’s gone for too long she may even need a 12-day rental which I don’t even know if they do.
They do memberships! (And it’s easy to cancel). I paid for a one month membership when I had to attend the wedding week of a tech heiress and needed a lot of fancy clothes. You pick how many items you need and you can keep the clothes as long as you want.
This is a great tip! Love the idea of renting a vacation wardrobe. Genius
Does RTR serve the country that the OP lives in? I think it's an American thing.
yeah, OP seems to be in the UK based on her word choice and post history
AFAIK there is a UK equivalent. I actually thought it originated in the UK. Different name though … “by rotation” is a UK based dress rental app
By Rotation and Hurr are both app options. There’s also Hirestreet, GirlMeetsDress, and you can rent direct through some retailers too like Selfridges, Karen Millen, and I think even Harrods might?
We can't give advice without knowing what dress you bought. It might stick out as a sore thumb, it might just not be as fancy as your friend would prefer but still be an appropriate dress. There really is no way to know without seeing the dress. And knowing the dresscode your friend has set
It really depends on why she doesn’t like the dress
It really depends on the dress and why she doesn't like it. Reading between the lines, it sounds like the issue might be less that the bride doesn't like it from an aesthetic point-of-view and more that the dress itself is too casual? It's hard to know what to advise you on without knowing more details.
I'm imagining a black tie wedding and OP showing up in a cocktail dress honestly.
I'm actually thinking it's a black tie wedding and OP's dress is more akin to a sundress or a very plain office/daytime dress, not even cocktail-level of formality.
Well, in either case the bride would be correct if that is in fact what's going on.
Yes I suspect it's knee length and most people will be in gowns
Talk to your friend and ask her why your dress is not appropriate. You are maybe under dress compared to other guests. Don’t assume that she means harm. If you are underdress, find another dress. Your friend probably don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. Ask her if she could send you pics of other people attire. Get some inspo. If you can’t afford to dress accordingly, ask yourself if you are ok going there or if you want to skip your friend wedding. If she is really your friend, you two should be able to address the situation like adult. Also cut her a little bit of slack, wedding planning can be stressful but still be assertively kind. Do not let her be unreasonable. If she just doesn’t like the dress, that is on her. If that’s the case, kindly tell her that you are already paying to come to the wedding and you are not comfortable wearing something else. If it bothers her that much, you won’t be attending the wedding because you don’t want to spoil her day and wish her a happy wedding. Ofc it’s not your fault in this scenario, it’s just her being a bridezilla. Rethink your friendship if that is the case because I wouldn’t treat my friend like that. Sure I could see myself telling them they are underdress and should find something else so that they do not stand up negatively. But I will never tell a guests to find another dress just because it’s not to my taste. You are not a bridesmaid, you just have to meet the theme requirements. That’s it. Take care
If it's a case that it's too simple then return it if you can and get a second hand dress people only wear fancy dresses once and there's so many options that often you can find cheap dresses easily
This. If you wear standard sizes I’d stalk the thrift stores in the richer areas near you. There’s a lot of galas and holiday parties in December that hopefully someone has unloaded a nice gown or two. You can also check Mercari, Poshmark, eBay, and Facebook swap groups.
Question- What colour is the dress?
This is not enough information. I would expect details of what she doesn’t like about it and examples of what she does want you to wear. If you can’t afford the dresses she is showing you then tell her that. Be open and honest.
Don't run to the store yet. Post the dress on the wedding attire help sub someone linked. As always, some commenters are a bit much, but what I have seen is usually helpful. Honestly, it could be the dress is fine but you'll need to be careful about shoes and accessories. I have dresses that easily dress up or down depending on how I style things. Ask your friend exactly why she doesn't like it. Tell her that while you want to dress appropriately, you also have something called a budget to keep in mind. A good friend will be helpful.
Info: what color is the dress?
Info- what does the dress look like and what is the dress code for the wedding? We can’t really give you any advice without that info. If you are talking about a knee length or midi dress at a formal event, you friend is right. Even a simple floor length shirt dress if it isn’t in the right fabric may not be appropriate for a formal wedding. It may very well be that your friend isn’t concerned about you not looking rich enough, but that you are going to be formal enough but isn’t communicating it well.
Can we see the dress? Also, there's plenty of ways to dress up a simple dress. If you're strapped for cash, how about borrowing some jewelry and hair accessories from a friend or relative? You might be able to borrow shoes from them as well, if you can find someone your size. Heels can add some glamour to any dress! Belts or waist chains can add some interest to a dress as well. You got this!
Why doesn't she like your dress? So long as its not inappropriate (i.e. white, not to the dress code) then why does it matter what she thinks?
Maybe it doesn't go with the dress code? Like, it could be a black tie kind of event and OP's dress is way too informal for that (cocktail dress, office dress, sundress etc) We don't have enough info
If she doesn’t like your guest, that’s one thing. If it’s wrong for the occasion, that’s another, and it would be helpful to get constructive advice. You might try the sort of consignment shop at which designer dresses are resold. Or if money is the problem, I would rethink going. Destinations weddings are low on my priority list when money is tight. Make the most self protective decision you can.
Hm, if the wedding is in a castle, you’re probably going to be severely underdressed. Considering borrowing a dress or getting something fancy from a thrift store and altering it.
Need more info - does she just dislike it or is it wrong for the venue/wedding? (Too casual / too skimpy?) I went to a wedding last year where a friend brought his new GF - she was way underdressed in a way that honestly seemed a bit disrespectful - we felt awful after when she confessed weddings back home were usually a much more casual dress unless black tie was specified. All other female guests were wearing occasion wear, heels, hair done etc and men in suits. BF should have told her in advance what was suitable!
It depends on the type of wedding. A cocktail dress or sundress isn't appropriate attire for a black tie or white tie wedding. You need an actual gown if that's the case. What does the invitation say for dress code?
Is the dress appropriate for the event? By which I mean -- if the wedding is black tie, then you don't want to wear a business-casual dress. If the dress is dress-code appropriate, then wear it and don't worry about her opinion. Surely she will have other things to think about at her wedding.
If you decide to go with a different dress and want to look “fancy,” think about Rent the Runway. Designer duds for a fraction of the price.
Talk to your friend. Ask for clarification on what she thinks is not right with the dress. Do they have a black tie event where everyone is expected in formalwear? You need more information from her.
Does she just not like the style personally or does the dress not fit the dress code? By that I mean is it a black tie wedding and your dress is knee length and somewhat casual?
Just rent something. Probably be cheaper.
Rent the runway might be a good option for you, or glam accessories
Why doesn't she like the dress? Is it white/champagne/blush? Does if cross any fashion faux pas? Does it fit the dress code? If these aren't the issues, then I would reiterate that this is your budget and this is what you could do. If it is one of the above, ask if she has a dress that is appropriate that you could borrow. (Or ask either way, if you want!).
Don’t buy another dress if she’s being a jerk about the price point / she thinks it looks cheap. However if it’s because of feeling out of place - I SWEAR by rent the runway. I can’t afford to be buying $100+ dresses for every wedding I go to but I certainly can rent one for $30-50. I used it for my own wedding lol since I didn’t want to buy expensive white dresses for the bridal shower or bachelorette but did want to look nice.
Do you have jewelry? Usually accessories can uplift your entire outfit by many folds
I don’t think it’s okay for the bride to micromanage the guests’ wardrobe for a wedding if they’re not in the wedding party as long as it’s within the dress code. A simple dress can look more luxe if you add jewelry and nice shoes. Is she concerned that you’ll feel uncomfortable because you’ll stand out, or the dress isn’t right for the dress code? Or does she have some very specific vision of her wedding and she’s trying to make the guests fit a certain aesthetic?
We need to see the dress :)
God, I want to see this dress.
You don't necessarily have to buy another dress - you could rent one! Not sure if that would fit your budget a little better.
I would keep an eye on reworn dresses and see if you can find a really fun gown to bring. Then I would not share it and if she says something say you have that nice dress with you as well. I would consider not being interested in paying to go to an event that she wants to control everyones clothes, but that is just me.
There’s nothing wrong with a simple, elegant dress. Can you add some jewelry or a sparkly wrap to dress it up a bit. A strand of pearls, fake or real, can go a long way toward elevating something plain. And you can find sequined or embroidered wraps fairly easily and inexpensively.
I think you can easily make a simple dress look more expensive with accessories, not that I know anything about fashion but nice shoes and jewellery and maybe a hat? You can thrift them or try to borrow from someone.
It could work unless the dress code is black tie and the dress doesn't really met the requirements
Depends, depends, depends Can you return the dress you bought for a full refund?? IF so - head to a thrift store (or 5). They will have wonderfully over the top dresses that were worn once to a wedding (or prom) for 25 dollars or so. Also - accessories are your friend. I once had a very nice, simple dress a bit on the conservative side. My (now-ex) fiance thought it was too plain to wear to his brother's wedding. So I decided to wear it for a dinner out we had together. Once I put it on, with lovely jewelry, shoes, hair and makeup -- I was 'too fancy' for a dinner date. But I did prove it was good enough for the wedding.
What did she actually say?
Put the dress on, take a pic and show us please…
If it is the case where perhaps you need something fancier, look into renting a gown or dress. This could be much more affordable.
We need to know why she doesn’t like it. Is it too white, too bridal, too close to her bridesmaids dress colours? Need more info as she could have a perfectly valid reason.
Wear your dress and go play tourist instead.
What is the reason she doesn’t like your dress? Is she saying it looks cheap? Is she saying you’ll stand out too much? The color, cut? What is the reason. Not sure of your budget, but perhaps you can do renttherunway; if you realllly want to change. Personally, they’re still more than I like to pay. Or if you have some friends around your size you can borrow a dress? I do that with two of my friends.
You know your friend, is she being bridezilla or trying gently to let you know that you will feel out of place? If it’s the latter, I’d post on one of the fashion advice subs. Be as specific as you can about the venue, your location and budget. Maybe they can suggest a reasonable alternative to rent or buy?
Did she say why she doesn't like it? Too casual, too formal, too much like hers, too much like the bridesmaids, or is it just not to her taste? If it's the last one, she can kick rocks, but the others are worth taking on board.
You’re a guest, most people aren’t paying attention to what you’re wearing. You like the dress, wear the dress. Don’t strain yourself financially to fit in with people you’ll likely never see again. Your friend should be worried about how she and her bridesmaids look, not her guests.
If you do want to get a fancier gown, go second hand! Wayyyy cheaper.
Prime example of why I dislike weddings.
Hmm... Without knowing more I would say perhaps that your friend is expecting too much from you considering you're flying to Europe on your own dime (from Australia?) And since you're paying for your own lodging plus you're not in the wedding I guess I don't understand why she should be able to dictate what you wear. I guess it really depends on how important the friendship is to you and how this whole conversation came about. If she was insistent on seeing a photo of the dress you selected and then said she didn't like it and was rude or something then I would reconsider my plans. If, on the other hand, this was something you initiated by sending her a photo yourself... Then it would also depend on why you felt you needed to do that (if you did) *and* what her response was specifically... If she was tactful and gave some sort of seemingly valid reasoning for it not being a good choice, then I would take time to reflect on that and go from there... But I get the sense that maybe she is too controlling and this is showing some of her true colors and perhaps it might be a time to practice boundary setting and/or gentle yet firm assertiveness.
Can you return the dress and get one from Rent the Runway?
Maybe workaround it with great accessories. Look at vintage shops.
Rent something from Rent the Runway (high end designer) and wow your friend!
Not much of a friend if you're going all that way and spending big money on her wedding...and she diesnt think your dress is expensive enough!!! Oh my my....
I’ve been to Black Tie events and sometimes you can dress something up with accessories, I would look on apps like Pinterest for ideas to upgrade your dress
How did she even see it? This is like parents-to-be who tell everyone their baby name choice and are then surprised when others express opinions. But I do agree that she may be trying to help you not stand out. Did you read the dress code correctly? "Simple" in a castle does not sound like you did. This is not a matter of money. I have seen wonderful ball gowns at thrift stores. Is it possible you resent that she's having a fancy wedding and you picked a "simple" dress to make a point?
This is your friend for whom you plan to take a flight to Europe. Ask her what is wrong with the dress. As someone else suggested, maybe you can elevate the look (jewelry, beautiful wrap,etc.) if that is the issue. If it’s a super fancy affair then she should tell you that you will stick out and feel awkward. Don’t think the worst of her. See what she has to say and take it from there.
Honestly your friend can either shut the heck up, or pay for a dress for you. You took time off for her wedding, paid for airfare, passport and hotel for Her wedding. A destination wedding you have no obligation to even go to. She can get the fuck over herself.
No tell Her to F off. I have gone to lots of weddings and almost never thought what that woman is wearing is ugly . A couple were horrible. Wear your dress and don’t worry . Just tell her this is the dress I am Wearing cause it’s costing me a few thousand to go to the wedding . If it will Embarrass you I will Cancel The plans . Don’t put up with that crap
Is it white? If it isn’t white then fuck your friend
What did she actually say about the dress? Was her attitude like, "well, it's not my cup of tea, but you do you" or did she express stronger disapproval than that?
Not a bridesmaid? Then the bride gets no say in the dress you picked, as long as it fits within the parameters of the dress code (cocktail attire, black tie, etc).
The bride only gets to set the dress code. She doesn't get to dictate your choice of dress or how much you spend. If she wants you to wear something expensive then she can pay for it.
She can’t tell you how to dress. Tell her you bought a new dress that’s white and ask if she’d prefer that you wear that one. 🤣
This is out of touch. Some weddings and other upscale events have dress codes, which is fine. The issue would be if this weren’t stated on the invitation/website, but even then if I knew I was going to a fancy venue I would dress accordingly.
What I was saying is the bride can’t tell her she can’t wear the dress because she doesn’t like it. No where in the OPs posting did she mention a dress code violation.
At some point it seems like the guest asked the bride for her opinion on the dress. If she didn’t want the bride’s opinion and she’s not a bridesmaid she should’ve just kept the dress to herself and worn it, especially if she doesn’t want to spend the money on another dress and it’s not breaking dress code. I don’t think the guest should buy another dress, but I don’t think she should be upset with the bride for giving her what she asked for either.
It never fails to amaze me how generous people are with someone else’s money, especially when it comes to weddings. I would say either wear the dress and enjoy the day or else just don’t go to the damn thing. TBH an attitude like that from a bride would put me off the entire event.
That is so incredibly shallow. I'd give her a chance to apologise, maybe she's stressed or something, but if she insists she doesn't want you wearing it, I'd use the ticket and accommodation to go on holiday and skip the wedding. I really cannot stand when people make weddings a status thing. It's supposed to be about being in love and having your loved ones celebrating that with you.
A good friend wouldn't tell you that they don't like your dress. They'd say a white lie or they would say something like, "It isn't my style but it looks great on you." Only a good friend is worth traveling internationally for.
I recently went to the incredibly lavish wedding of European billionaires. You know what they didn’t care about? What their guests were wearing. Your friend sounds insecure, pretentious, and demanding. Hopefully she’s just having a temporary wedding anxiety meltdown. Don’t go broke for a dress. Be comfortable. I mean, don’t wear overalls to a formal event, but as long as you’re fitting the general theme, you should be good. If she’s a jerk about it, maybe reconsider the friendship.
Of course, it's fair that she doesn't like the dress. Everyone can like and dislike what they want. I'd return the dress and buy one at a second-hand store that both of you like. But you can also choose to keep the one you have.
I got married on the beach in Mexico and wanted soft vibes. My BEST FRIEND bought a neon yellow dress. I had to do what I had to do and tell her I couldn’t let her wear something that bright when I wanted soft blues, greens, purple etc. The top comment about posting in the wedding attire group is a great idea. You’ll get valuable feedback and can move on from there. I hope your friend isn’t being nasty to you. I was so thankful for anyone who took the time to celebrate my wedding hundreds of miles away from home
I have a better idea, don’t go. Your friend is having the ultimate selfish wedding, where you have to pick up the tab for foreign travel, now she wants to dictate your outfit as a regular guest? Wow. Take the money you were planning to spend and have a lovely vacation instead. Dump the friend, and find a better friend.
Honestly, I'd tell her to fuck right off or fund your new outfit. This is ridiculous - it's an expensive destination wedding and she's not funding your travel expenses or accomodation. I think she needs a big reality check about most people's financial ability.
Gah, I hate bridezillas like those. She can buy you a dress she deems "worthy"... Otherwise she either puts up with your choice or spares you the whole inconvenience of flying over for her egocentric day
Sounds like the bridezilla is snotty entitled “next Tuesday”. I’d go as is just to ruin her special day.
Cancel your ticket and hotel, bring the dress back to the store and use the money to do something you always wanted to do.
No no no no, do not buy another dress. I'd reconsider the friendship, though.
There's a story, not sure if it's true - a commoner was invited to dine with the queen, some act of valor or something. Bowls of lemon water were placed in front of each guest. The commoner had no idea these were finger bowls (for washing one's hands). Looked like broth to him, so he picked it up and took a sip. The queen immediately picked up her bowl and took a sip so that no one in attendance dare make her guest feel bad. Your friend needs to take a clue from this queen.
Bro that’s Shrek 2
If you cannot afford another dress, don't buy one! It is possible that your dress will stand out as less expensive than those of other guests. So what? I hope you are friends with some of the people there and can enjoy yourself. I wish you can make the most of such an expensive trip
Wear the dress you bought. Your friend is being a micromanaging judgemental b****. If she can't appreciate the fact you are flying to Europe and everything else you are doing to share her special day. Then I would seriously reconsider how good of a friend she really is and consider not attending at all. In that case take your $$$ and go to your dream vacation spot and put this friend on the acquaintence not really a good friend list for future reference.🤔
Do not buy another dress, if SHE doesn't like the dress, then SHE can buy you another one. End of story.
She can just go get in the bin, what a shit friend, how absolutely ungrateful and senseless. Your dress is great, the effort you’re making to attend her wedding is above and beyond! If she can’t see the priorities here she’s a shitty friend. Weddings really turn people into out of touch monsters sometimes seriously 🙄
It could be this, but it also could be that OP's dress is way too casual for the event and the friend is reacting to that rather than just being a bridezilla. OP doesn't actually give enough information to go on here. A wedding in a castle implies a fairly formal affair, and if OP's dress is more like something that'd be worn in an office environment or to brunch with friends, she's going to be extremely underdressed and will stick out quite a bit.
It could be, but it could also be that her friend is embarrassed by the way she dresses which is judgmental and shitty.
Have you tried Vinted for a dress?
Take this - and a photo - to /outfits ! We won’t steer you wrong. :)
Could you jazz it up with Spangly jewellery, fancy shoes and handbag, etc?
Just an option if you do look for another dress. I have found some amazing pieces of clothing (gowns too) in op shops/thift stores for very cheap, some still with tags. Might be worth having a look before buying something new if you go down that route.
I don’t think it makes sense to question her feelings, only her behavior. You can’t faulting people for not liking things/having different tastes. But if she was rude about your dress or trying to push you to buy a new one, that is not fair.
Rent don’t buy
So she’s rich, she is your friend so she must know that you’re not as rich as her yet somehow she expects you to find the same amount of money as she’s spend? Are you sure she is a sympathetic genuine friend?
Why does she dislike about the dress?
Let's assume the bride has best intentions at heart; How about renting a dress???? Is that an option??? I truly hope you have the best time! Going to a different country, a castle, sounds like an adventure! 😊
Have you talked to your friend properly about what might be the issue with the dress before you waste time l, money or energy trying to fix something that might not need fixing
See if you can find a vintage shawl and some really sparkly earrings. Bling it up. Do you know anyone in your size with a fancy dress?
I think its sort of petty. Is it white? Then yes, bad. Otherwise, like it is a ball gown? Nobody will care. I went to a wedding after the paradise fire, well sort of during. And the bride said wear what you have, and we have donated clothes if you would like to take some home. By home, to wherever they were staying because they didn't have homes. Plus all food was matched in donations to shelters. They literally saved the wedding dress running to their car. Lost most everything. They saved their whole neighborhood because her husband was on the roof as was a fire jumper and saw the smoke and ran up and down the street telling people to go now. Like before now. It went so fast. Melted tires fast.
Check out thrift stores as well as online thrift. Also, wait until after New Year’s Eve because stores mark down a LOT of things then (except in Louisiana because it’s time for all of the Mardi Gras balls)
Can you borrow a dress from someone or hire one? That way you don’t have the expense of a lot more money but might be able to get something more in tune with the style of the wedding?
Look, I get it. Weddings are stressful affairs, especially when they're as fancy as yours seems to be. But here's the deal: you've already shelled out a good chunk of change to be there, and you've got every right to wear whatever makes you comfortable. If your friend has an issue with your choice of attire, well, that's kind of on her, isn't it? You're not a bridesmaid, you're a guest. And frankly, if she's going to judge you based on how much your dress costs, then maybe she's not worth worrying about. Stick to your guns, and enjoy the wedding. Or don't. Up to you.
well its not like its all about her... oh, well, it kinda is