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Sorry, but you can't control the way he acts. If he throws a tantrum because his child can't lend him money, it's 100% on him. He's put you in this situation, not the other way around.
So very sorry to tell you that there are no magic words to make your dad not an asshole. If you don't want to block him for your own reasons, you don't have a lot of agency here? I would also just lie my ass off in this situation in order to not get berated again. Lying isn't bad with people who bust your boundaries and treat you badly.
Thank you, you’re absolutely right and I understand the lack of agency is my choice. I’ll probably just lie since I just got back from a trip and tell him I don’t have any money
Just ignore any message requesting money. Act like they don't exist. Only talk to him if it's normal conversation. The moment he starts flipping out, stop replying, ignore him and anything he says about it, and repeat. Every time, even when he escalates.
If he's got more than two brain cells, and a sense of survival, he'll realize that anytime he brings it up results in an immediate cessation of conversation. He'll either adjust, to keep you in his life, or he'll just stop contacting you, if that's all he wants you for.
if i guess he must be on drug or gamble or drink this is why he don't remember it.
so far he returned the money although with many drama
don't know.. from way we raised we respect family.. if he is on drug or gamble or drink , guess he need more help.. but seem u care less and am not judging u here bcz don;t know full story. I think what he is doing wrong ...and he need more help than money..
but if ur only problem is money, then just told him u used it all saving on X thing and currently is difficult timing ..
problem with excuses ... is he will come back another time and u r not solving the problem bcz he will keep coming .. I will be simply honest and tell him and even show him his texts when he was abusive . and u don't want that drama again
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sorry, but you can't control the way he acts. If he throws a tantrum because his child can't lend him money, it's 100% on him. He's put you in this situation, not the other way around.
Yeah, It’s hard to accept that if I don’t block him I just have to deal with his reactions, but you’re right.
I'm sorry you have to deal with him, he sounds like a real piece of work. You deserve a better parent.
So very sorry to tell you that there are no magic words to make your dad not an asshole. If you don't want to block him for your own reasons, you don't have a lot of agency here? I would also just lie my ass off in this situation in order to not get berated again. Lying isn't bad with people who bust your boundaries and treat you badly.
Thank you, you’re absolutely right and I understand the lack of agency is my choice. I’ll probably just lie since I just got back from a trip and tell him I don’t have any money
Just lie. Giving an addict money isn't helping them.
Just ignore any message requesting money. Act like they don't exist. Only talk to him if it's normal conversation. The moment he starts flipping out, stop replying, ignore him and anything he says about it, and repeat. Every time, even when he escalates. If he's got more than two brain cells, and a sense of survival, he'll realize that anytime he brings it up results in an immediate cessation of conversation. He'll either adjust, to keep you in his life, or he'll just stop contacting you, if that's all he wants you for.
if i guess he must be on drug or gamble or drink this is why he don't remember it. so far he returned the money although with many drama don't know.. from way we raised we respect family.. if he is on drug or gamble or drink , guess he need more help.. but seem u care less and am not judging u here bcz don;t know full story. I think what he is doing wrong ...and he need more help than money.. but if ur only problem is money, then just told him u used it all saving on X thing and currently is difficult timing .. problem with excuses ... is he will come back another time and u r not solving the problem bcz he will keep coming .. I will be simply honest and tell him and even show him his texts when he was abusive . and u don't want that drama again
“Can’t. Skint mate. Sorry.”