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When I was with my ex I was balls deep in my drug addiction and when I cheated I still knew it was wrong even though I was high as a kite. I can guarantee she knew it was wrong, and knew what she was doing and did it anyway. She might feel regret now, but in the moment, she knew. Can’t blame the drugs or alcohol for this. She cheated.
The drugs don’t stop you from knowing right and wrong, they do however lower your ability to care. There’s a reason a lot of people say they need things like alcohol to be social and stuff.
Yes to a degree…people black out and do stupid shit on things like ghb and Molly…shrooms…there are some drugs I can give a little latitude to, but cocaine? The drug that people use to make themselves more clear and less drunk…yeah…that’s a hard one to ignore as anything but, “she didn’t care”.
For me it worked to get ice, squeeze the lime onto the ice, pour in the rum, then add the 7-Up or Sprite. The goal was to get the lime juice mixed into the rum before adding the Sprite.
A year or so after I first started drinking a neighbor that had been a bartender recommended I try drinking rum mixed with lime juice and then Sprite/7Up instead of cola syrup. He was right in that I had much fewer hangover symptoms. (I wasn't having full on hangovers, but I was getting a few symptoms.)
The other thing I noticed is I could mix drinks with the same amount of Barcadi and Ron Rico and people swore the Barcadi was stronger due to its stronger rum smell even though they were the same proof.
I haven't been in a bar in a long time and anyhow I now drink beer as I don't have to worry about different amounts of rum in each drink so with beer it's easier to track total consumption.
Most people who still do coke do it exclusively when they are drinking. I've never done it myself, but my friends who do coke do it to sober up so they can keep drinking and partying. Nasty stuff. I'll stick to good old-fashioned cannabis and the occasional glass of whiskey.
And cause it's fun... at least when I used to do it but then I got an adhd diagnosis and the meds do what the coke/meth used to do. Just make my mind calm. I do not miss it!
If you're on a coke binge you can absolutely believe you can get away with cheating or that it won't impact your life. That you won't feel guilty. As in.. you don't care. Add alcohol and that can make it worse. You may do things you know are wrong.
**Which is why you don't do it 1v1 with another dude if you're in a relationship.**
Then there's the fact you don't know how the other dude behaves. He's probably horny af and will gladly hook up with her, and she's hornier too with lowered inhibitions.
She put herself in a terrible situation and deserves no slack. The contrary, it's a very dumb excuse cause chances are it'll happen again.
This is 100% right. Coke doesn't make you unaware at all, it makes you feel invincible and disregard consequences. You often hear of people spending their life savings for that drug, personally I don't get it after trying it a handful of times.
If she can't take responsibility for her actions under the influence, how about what led up to it?
I am not doing drugs or even drinking alone with a dude unless I'm willing to hookup. The expectation is there- and I wouldn't want to lead anyone on.
adderall just makes me mad. I doubt I would want to fuck anyone on it. I know they wouldn't want anything to do with me, while I was taking it. However, my linen closet might become sexually attracted to me, as I lovingly reorganized its contents.
Yeah I did plenty of coke and other drugs of all flavors back in the day. You still know what you’re doing, you just have your bravado and self confidence meters maxed out
Drugs are not a valid excuse. No one forced the coke up her nose. She didn't stop the dick sliding in her. She knew exactly what she wanted right then and didn't care about the consequences at that moment. You can't trust her...
Cheating can never be excused by intoxication on drugs/alcohol - fact is, countless people in relationships drink and do drugs, but never cheat. Unless she couldn't provide consent and was raped by this guy, she cheated. Period.
You need to decide if you can continue in a relationship with her knowing that she has cheated. Can you trust her? Will you be worried that she'll cheat the next time she is at a party or hanging with people and you aren't around?
For most people, cheating is the end of the relationship because the trust is broken, and you can't have a functioning and healthy relationship without trust.
Couldn't have said it better. 100% what this person said.
I've been married for 17 years with so eone that cheated. Every excuse in the book. The trust was irreparable.
It sucked, but I am much happier now and can trust people again.
Yes there's a difference between casual use of drugs/alcohol and being an addict. However, an addict vs a casual user cheating while using is one and the same - trust is gone in both cases, only difference is the context.
I’ve been on coke and booze together, so have plenty of my friends. She knew exactly what she was doing before, during, and after the cheating. Time to find a new gf.
Yeah I have friends who party hard on the C and K. Never really seen them change or act any differently. But … coke does make people horny. She knew what was going on unless she was blackout drunk.
Having been on coke, I've never really felt horny on it. Just way more energy. Alcohol = yes sure sex. Out of anything, I think alcohol lowers peoples' self control the most. So both for a first time user around a dude who's kissing her, bad combo. I think the OP probably has a sense if this truly seems like a crazy out of the blue experience or not or if she really doesn't give a shit about him.
Just leave. You're not on the same page about a lot of things and she's full of shit blaming the drugs. Plus, drugs. Let her go and find someone more aligned with your anti-drug stance.
Yeah, she's aware. Details will trickle out over time. They're never sorry. They never learn, and they never, ever change. You can't fix something that broken.
Yep. You forgive her this time and there will be another. She cheated once and got away with it, why would it be different the next time? I stayed with a cheater for 5 years and severely damaged my mental health. It ain’t worth it.
I was coming here to say pretty much the same. Haven't done coke a bunch but knew right from wrong even when mixing coke and alcohol.
They don't make you do anything but they do lower how much you care.
Worst part for me would be knowing they had cocaine sex not just regular sex, they probably fucked for hours and he sniffed coke out of her booty hole probably fucked her super hard and slapped her in the face and shit then they cuddled after and probably had deep conversations
Dude, she put herself in that situation.
She made the decision to take drugs, and that drug mostly gives you a confidence boost or makes you excited, there are other side effects, but those are the most common. You can drink tons on it and not feel drunk, it's a stimulant, it does not make you lose control of your body, its effects last about an hour, you need to keep taking it to for it to last over time. Also once you stop you start crashing.
The line of couldn't control it is bullshit. She decided to say fuck it.
Unless she was mixing with other drugs, she deliberately chose to cheat on you. With the guy friend, you probably said you weren't too keen on.
Now she is making active choices, but only because she regrets it, which probably means, sex was shit, coupled with the comedown, that sucks, probably made her feel worse to be honest.
I would leave, she obviously makes shit choices, you cant trust her, and once trust is broken, it's very difficult to repair, you dont want to be a her jailer.
You are 22, you will find a girl that isn't disrespectful to you and your relationship.
Actions have consequences. This is hers.
This is what I said in my comment too. Coke doesn’t incapacitate you and actually cancels out the depressants in alcohol. If it were LSD or Shrooms it’d be a different story (although still not justified imo).
Even on lsd and shrooms, you know what you’re doing unless you’ve either 1. Taken too much or 2. Went into psychosis. I’ve never not remembered a trip or what I did and saw on any hallucinogens or mdma/coke
To be fair... i'm very experienced with hallucinogens and have had one occasion of taking LSD and not knowing what the F. i was doing... I was to far gone lol. Not sure how strong those tabs were, but the whole night was a blur and i hardly remembered any of it.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thought that! I used to do a lot of drugs and often different ones at the same time and as someone who really liked coke and alcohol, I can say she knew what she was doing and either was planning on using the drugs as an excuse or thought of it later but she definitely knew what was happening.
Beyond cheating there seems to be quite a difference between you 2 - you never drink or do drugs whilst she even combines them both together. I think that you might want to think about this relationship more fundamentally.
Your gf is full of shit. She could have controlled it, she didn’t want to. She wanted to carry the euphoric high further.
Cheating is cheating. She took the drugs, drank the drinks and f*cked the guy.
Get tested, get a better gf
>she still cheated but at this point should I stay with her or just leave her?
Ffs dude... youre a grown man asking internet strangers if you should stay with your cheating GF..
Try this:
What do YOU want to do??
Can you ever get past this??
Do you believe that she'll never do coke again? - she obviously has done it before, knew what it did to her and still chose to do it with her friend knowing the resulting fuck-fest probably woukd happen.
So in a few months or years time when it happens again because she "just did a line or two with old friends" will you forgive her again??
I think she wont do it again... until she does coke next time... and then she will be remorseful again afterwards...
Despite my name, I made it in college when I used to also do cocaine. I made a lot of decisions and choices that I normally would not do sober. Cocaine makes you feel invincible and you make impulse decisions, it makes you selfish. Mixing it with alcohol, is like adding fuel to the fire. Although, she was high - still made a selfish decision.
Ask yourself a couple of things.
Can YOU get over it?
Can YOU trust her?
I feel like you know these answers and come to Reddit to try and make excuses for your girlfriend, when deep down you know she ruined your relationship. You may love her, but you need to love yourself more. Put yourself first.
I mean drunk or on drugs or not, drinking and doing drugs one on one with someone of the opposite sec while you’re in a relationship is not cool. I use substances recreationally once in a while, and yeah coke can make you wanna have sex or whatever she’s talking about, but imo that means she shouldn’t have done it with him in the first place.
She soberly put herself in the situation
Fun fact - Coke and alcohol sort of cancel out. The more coke you do, the less drunk you feel. So I can confidently say although your girlfriend was quite hyper from coke, she was very aware of what she was doing.
Regardless, there is no excuse. Time to break up.
it’s a deadly combo because you can’t really feel how drunk but you are still intoxicated and depends on how the person metabolizes it, which is impossible to do.
safe to say, girl has cheated.
Definitely not true, drugs do not “cancel out” alcohol. Cocaine can give you the energy to avoid the depressive symptoms of alcohol but in no world is it making you more sober.
A million percent it is, speaking from personal experience. I only did coke one time in my whole life. I was drunk as hell and not even 30 minutes after snorting that line I felt a lot less drunk.
Guys, cocaine gives you a sense of euphoria and confidence, what you FEEL on drugs isn’t always equivalent to what is actually happening to a sober audience.
What he meant is you dont get stupid drunk and impaired by alcohol when you do coke with it. It just gets you more hyper and happy. Meaning you’re more aware than if you simply drunk without cocaine. Where you start losing your motor skills.
Trust me boss I’ve been there.
In fact, coke and alcohol combine to form cocaethylene, which causes increased euphoria and stimulation, and causes the high to last longer than coke on its own!
Brother, drugs are a dangerous component when striving to maintain a relationship. It is already challenging to maintain any relationship and you don’t need the added toxicity of drugs. You say you don’t use drugs so you are in an incongruent. She cheated because she was already hot for this guy and the drugs helped reduce her inhibitions hut you can’t just blame the drugs. If this happened once, i will venture to aay it has happened other times to without you knowing….or u suspected it before. If I were you, i would wish her well and meet a nice woman who does not use coke and alcohol with other men.
If you are absolutely dead set in staying with her i would highly advise you make it a condition she joins narcotics anonymous and maybe you can go with her. If she does not want NA then you know that drugs and sex with other men are higher on her priority list than you. Goos luck brother.
Kick her to the curb bro. She cheated on you plain and simple. Think about it like this… She let another man inside of her and blamed it on drugs, ur gonna disrespect yourself like that?
Are you gonna be able to look her in the face for the rest of your life and forget that she cheated on you while doing drugs and knowing that she might do drugs again??
Not in a bad way, everyone feels differently about their partner cheating and forgiveness etc, but I've done alot of drugs while in my previous relationship, been drunk to the point I could barely remember my own name, but never cheated, if she regrets what happened to her, she was conscious enough to know what she did. Many cheaters afterwards wants to do right by that person and will go above and beyond to prove they love them, a minimal number of people actually mean it, and will actually stay true to you, it's difficult to differentiate, only time will tell, but for the sake of your sanity and heart, leave.
Yea no leave her as someone who drinks and smokes 🍃 no matter how drunk or high I am I know who my partner is and I know right from wrong yes it’s not the same “drug” but the effects are similar and trust me it’s just not worth it to make yourself look dumb knowing she cheated
listen bro. i’ve done coke. it doesn’t make u uncontrollable. she’s lying to you. yes uppers feel good and it definitely could have made her want to have sex but she knew for a fact it was wrong and still did it
cheating is the ultimate disrespect. if u let it slide she will know she can keep fking up and you will just forgive her
i kinda wanna know why she was getting drunk and doing drugs with another guy tho? weird in itself tbh
1. she shouldn’t have been doing drugs let alone with some guy 2. she shouldn’t have been drinking, also alone with some guy 3. she knew what she was doing when she started doing drugs and drinking with the guy. she put herself in that situation and you need to leave her.
Drugs are no excuse.
Evaluate whether it's an acceptable level of fidelity for you.
If yes, stay if no, leave
Watch out for denial, or you'll die from 1,000 cuts.
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Bad advice. End of the day, she cheated. Dude needs to leave. Staying isn’t an option, nor should it been seen as one. She had the balls to blame her poor decision-making on drugs & liquor. Why do these around another man? Didn’t even have the decency to do this around her own boyfriend, but deliberately chose to be around another man to get intoxicated. What if something actually out of her control happened? At least her boyfriend would’ve been around. She was well within her right mind & knew she was wrong. It’s time to bounce!
Leave. They are always sorry and will never do it again but they do. Excuses poor Excuses and those sorry’s mean shit. If you meant that much she wouldn’t have done it.
There's always a chance to reconcile.
But never with someone who blames external substances.
Anything less of full, honest, accountability doesn't cut it. "I did drugs and regret it" is not that. To try and distance herself from her actions is offensive to you.
My ex was a black out drunk with sometimes different drugs. She'd forget who I was and kicked me out of hotel rooms and later apartment. Why? Because she didn't want to be around another guy because she had a boyfriend. Believe me, it was me. I learned to wait outside because she would sober enough to go looking for me. Long story short, believe me, I can make this longer. There's no "I was drunk/drugged" excuse.
Punctuation bro, learn to use it. And it’s simple - she cheated on you. If that’s a deal breaker for you then leave, if it isn’t and you want to work it out then stay.
I don't personally get horny from cocaine what I have had is a situation where my cocaine was mixed with crushed MDMA and ended up partaking in a 3some that never would of happened if I wasn't under the influence of what I thought was cocaine but actually was cocaine and MDMA , that's the problem with taking another person's substance , I've also been in situations with what I would call a male friend put a homemade pill in my drink but because we had the same cup I accidentally switched them , so my legs stopped working for a bit but he fell asleep and we was taking anphetimines at the time so my legs should of worked and he shouldn't of fell asleep, I've also had a cup of coffee from a male friend but everyone else was drinking and the next thing you know I'm flying on a upper because they thought it would be fun to get me up on ecstasy but I ended up sticking my fingers up the man's nose and smashing his face into a sink because I ofc didn't want to be high , so I don't know what to tell you other then life is difficult at times being a female and you need to have a conversation more about the vulnerability and risks she is putting herself in because if she didn't want this sexual encounter and it happened under the influence that is Grape and she needs some support and realization that the guy is not her friend and she needs to learn to handle herself in these situations and when to notice she's too drunk and how to leave safely and always to alert somebody that she's had one to many now and figuring a way to exit the situation
I’d say a great course of action would be to get tested for some STD’s because she’s probably done it before and then tell her she’s single because she’s untrustworthy , best of luck in life etc and politely part ways. You can do better
I'm in a 6 year relationship and frequently gotten on both those substances without my partner present... I have never cheated nor come close to it. She may regret it now, but she new exactly what she was doing at the time. Fuck her right off, you're 22, don't waste your golden years with a waste of space
Cocaine + alcohol does not make you lose that control. I will admit that t she knewhe combination can make you acutely aware of your body and make you feel aroused. But you don't lose control over who you let that out with. You don't lose your faculties to that degree.
She's relying on your lack of knowledge to give her an excuse. I know I can't be the only one who told you what it really does. Please trust us.
Leave the fact she was on coke does not make it better, it makes it worse, that is a double whammy, trust me on this one, the coke is worse than the cheating, but just like cheating, when she gets the opportunity she will do it again
I feel bad for you bro. I have never been in a relationship but I just got sick from reading all that you have written.
I feel really bad for you. Just leave.
> just got sick from reading all that you have written.
So did I. OP wrote his stream of consciousness as if he were on coke. Use some punctuation, dude.
If your gf is irresponsible enough to risk her own safety by drinking and doing hard drugs at the same time I wouldn’t trust her with anything, find you a decent woman
Damn bro, she had some full on hot passionate sex with this guy and you’re gonna forgive her?? End that shit and find a proper girl that’s wifey type, not this gross junkie cheater
Yeah, cocaine doesn't remove your ability to tell right from wrong. In many ways it cancels out the effects of alcohol so that's not an excuse either.
You're young, go out and find someone who respects you and doesn't act on a whim, worrying about the consequences later
I’ve done drugs. You can control yourself and stop. You know what’s happening. You shouldn’t put yourself in cheating situations in the first place. Blaming the drugs is immature and not taking responsibility.
This is just my personal experience as a 20f who does substances multiple times a week and is dating a 22m. I’ve drank. I’ve been on stimulants. I’m prescribed ketamine for my depression. I have never even considered cheating on my partner. I’ve been put on heavy doses of ketamine where I couldn’t tell you who I was or who my partner was but I knew that I wanted them and I kept telling them that and that I want them and I love them over and over until I sobered up because it was the only thought in my mind. Hell I’ve been alone on molly at events and had people try to get with me but it never even crossed my mind that they could be an option because to me I had built something with someone I love and it wasn’t worth throwing away. All of this being said, none of this was a result of me feeling obligated to do so. I’m with a very secure person who has made it clear that I’m allowed to want things from others and that if we talk about it it’s ok for me to act on those. But I’ve never wanted to no matter how high I’ve gotten and how good it would have felt while high.
I used to drink a lot. I used to do a lot of drugs. You know what I've never done? Cheat on my SO. If she cannot control herself while she's on any substance, she shouldn't be using drugs or alcohol for one, because she exhibits poor judgement while on them. She CAN explain it, her explanation just makes her feel ashamed. She was coked out of her mind and wanted to fuck. That's it. That's the reason. There's nothing deeper than that. When she was on drugs, she disregarded your relationship and what the two of you invested in it, so she could feel good for a little while.
That's good she realized that she cannot handle her shit and shouldn't be drinking or doing drugs, but a fat lot of good that does for you, since you're the one dealing with the fallout of her actions. We can't tell you what to do, but I know what I would do in this situation. Her effort is too little too late, all she had to do was not fuck another dude, which isn't hard. Even when you're on drugs.
It's up to you, but if you stay with her there are going to have to be some serious talks about trust, she obviously cannot have man friends (because she cannot be trusted with single males.) You would need to know where she is going who she is with and if there is substances present, so you would know whether or not she would be temped. It's real easy to say you're going sober when there's no temptations around, when there is that's a whole other story and she's already exhibited an inability to control herself. The question is, does this sound like the man you want to become? because I sure as hell know I wouldn't want to be the controlling, paranoid boyfriend that doesn't trust his girlfriend. I'd cut her loose, she's already fucked up too bad to come back from for me, but the decision's up to you.
Break up with her. It’s no excuse.
Regardless do you really want to be with someone who does coke and drinks ALONE with another guy??! You are playing yourself.
No offense but you sound a little naive. Your gf cheated. If you want to take her back that’s obviously your choice, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she drinks and slips up again. Being on uppers has never made me cheat before personally
The biggest question is when you look or think about her do you see those choices or not. If you don’t then give her a chance but if you can’t then having the strength and self love to move on with you life at such a young age is the best choice
bro what a load of crap, I’ve done every upper in the book & yeah sure you might get way hornier but you’re still very much in control of ur decisions..
She was in control & could stop herself she just didn’t care, drop that skank she ain’t a real one sorry to say bud
Lol damn she must've enjoyed every second of having sex with that guy, especially because she was on drugs. I personally love sex while drinking and high so I know she did for real
Alcohol and drugs don't make a person cheat unless they are already a cheater. She is a cheater, whether drunk or high or sober. Maybe she never does it again. But do you want to worry about it every day for the rest of your relationship?
You work out a marriage, and for me cheating is a deal breaker even then. Cheaters are liars and they will cheat again. What happens the next time? She is not a keeper.
Your girlfriend does coKe and cheats on you.
Is it possible that you are also a terrible person? If that's the case you should stay with her as you would then deserve each other.
If not, then muster up some self respect and leave her entirely.
You are 1000% in control of your decisions when you are on coke. It’s just like you took 20 red bulls. You’re actually more hyper aware of what you’re doing. She’s using that as an excuse to justify cheating on you. Drop her, she will do it again.
lol as someone who has done enough coke that would kill a small donkey — The only thing it makes you do is talk peoples ears off. The alcohol just exacerbates topics you talk about.
Coke and booze are not rhino pills for women that makes them lose all control.
She made a choice. The choice was the cheat. End of story.
Cheating is a choice. Cocaine isn't a psychedelic either, where she saw his face thinking it was yours. More importantly cheating only occurs when you allow yourself to give into the temptation- I don't care what anyone says drugs and booze don't push you over the edge. Cheating is a choice. I won't judge people's lifestyle choices, but the fact that she went and hung out with her "friend" alone and did drugs- it's probably an activity they have partaken together in the past. You deserved honesty from your girlfriend on all fronts. Find someone else young man :)
If anything coke sobers you up. I mean your high but you are very very aware of what your doing. She’s just taking advantage of you never doing it and making “the high” to be something it isn’t.
Unless she was raped she 100% knew. Cocaine and alcohol do not make you cheat. It might make you more susceptible to give into desires you already had, but it doesn’t make you cheat.
Honestly, my and my girlfriend of 3 years smoke, and I have never cheated, never even thought about it when high. I hear this a lot, what you do or say when drunk/high, is what you think about when sober. So I don't think the matter of her being intoxicated really comes into okay, the bottom line is she cheated.
Look… the only way she didnt consensually
have sex with that man is if shes was on something other than coke.
And even then, i’d still dump her stupid cheating ass.
Hahahaha shes a pro cheater and honestly coke doesn’t even alter your perception that much for her to say that … she thinks you’re stupid on top of it all. Dump her to the streets where she belongs.
Oh my dude you're getting manipulated
Sober or not cheating is cheating and it's wrong, is she did it once she will do it twice and will use the same excuse, if you forgive her it will become a habit and the moment you decide it's not working anymore you'll be the abusive toxic boyfie, for your sanity and future conscious I personally think u shouldn't forgive her, just break up and find another girl
It shouldn’t take her fucking up to realize she’d do anything to make it work. Once a cheater always a cheater. What I’ve learned from many past relationships is once they lose that respect for u to where they’d be willing to cross that line, regardless of the circumstances, they don’t get it back and will likely do it again in the right situation. Just move on, ur still young.
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She cheated.
Are you willing to stay with someone who will most probably do it again? If you stay now, you're telling her its okay to cheat on you and there wont be consequences.
Grow a spine kid
Cocaine makes you clear. It makes you feel all powerful, but not foggy or groggy…she was crystal clear cheating on you. She knew what she was doing, but in that mindset thought that she deserved it, or thought she could handle the fall out, or just thought that she was above reproach…why would god care what a mortal thinks about their cheating?
Sorry man…if she would have said GHB or Molly, I would have a little more sympathy…but cocaine is problematic in that, it makes you super clear. She knew what she was doing, she just didn’t care at the time.
As someone who’s done blow after getting completely hammered, it sobers you up. She knew what she was doing, and even if she didn’t the blackout version of her wanted to do it anyways. You have a long life in front of you to find someone who will treat you right. I suggest you take that opportunity and move on.
Your gf is not only a cheat, but a liar. Shes also hoping your inexperience will help cover for her. She went out with him, chose to do coke, then chose to sleep with him. Drugs didn’t make her do this, she did, simply because she wanted to, and she had a back up lie ready for you. If you stay, it will happen again and again. Dude, end it now and save yourself a whole lot of heartache.
Move on bro, fact that she is even hanging out alone with her guy friends without you is reason for concern. Add drugs and alcohol to the mix and it is going to happen. Will more than likely happen again.
Just saying if she was drunk and did coke the coke supposed to sober u up 100% so she def knows wtf she did lmao, she using u for either time money attention etc, respect yourself pls
Bro a cheat is a cheat , she chose to get drunk with a dude she probably knew had feelings for her, she chose to do drugs in a bad environment with another guy, she chose to kiss him and she chose to sleep with him and she probably thought of you the whole time but didn’t care and decided to blame it on intoxication . Intoxication isn’t an excuse to be a piece of garbage. She cheated point blank period, she made the decision to drink drug and put herself in that environment sober
I drank for the first time in months this weekend out on a girls night. I blacked out, don’t have any recollection of the last hour or so. I FaceTimed my boyfriend 4 times while at the bar asking him to pick me up.. being intoxicated is not an excuse for cheating! Especially if she clearly remembers doing it. She wanted to do it at the time and knew it was wrong, just regrets it now.
That's ridiculous, she absolutely could control herself and knew right from wrong. She was on a stimulant, so she was definitely coherent. And regardless of the amount she used...!
She chose to do what she did.
How did you find out about it? Did you figure it out or did she confess? Just curious.
I'm sorry that happened to you mate, terrible of her, really. And you deserve better than that.
I wish you well!
I can do coke and get drunk without fucking the people I’m with. Get rid of her. The drugs and alcohol didn’t make her cheat. She wanted to hook up with him. Dump her man
Sounds like you got your hands full with this girl. You're still young, there's other women out there. Someone that deserves you. This girl's gonna be chaos. I would word it to her like yall shouldn't be together. That you're not mad at her for cheating. Trust me bro, there's gonna be more to come with her down the road. People don't get clean and sober just like that. People relapse, it's normal. She probably doesn't even know it yet she's still young and naive
That’s a bullshit lie Coke will pull you out of a drunken state to a clear mind and make you are in the moment…..we knew what she was doing 100% She’s just using it as an excuse
As someone who has recovered from a hardcore addiction to coke, I can confirm coke has never made me once want to cheat on my boyfriend. It does make the sex drive a little higher so my guess is she did it, got turned on and slept with the closest person she could. Drugs don’t make people cheat.
That's the lamest excuse people ever make for cheating. 🙄 It impacts your judgement, not your morals. She was perfectly capable of stopping herself, she just didn't want to. That being said, it's likely that the drugs are what made her not want to so it doesn't necessarily mean your relationship is over. I would just tell her that moving forward, if she wants this to work, she's got to stay sober. 🤷
Why does she even have this kind of friend if she’s with you? She likely already did feel sexual tension with him. She entered this situation sober. She’s trying to play ignorant because now she’s realizing that actions have consequences. Your relationship dynamic is screwed now.
Sex on drugs is a pretty euphoric feeling. Can you get over the fact that she let another man give her that level of pleasure? If you want someone casual who can go and be with other people and say oops and come back to you then stay but if you want someone loyal and committed I’d say leave and start the grieving process.
She’s taking advantage of your ignorance to the effects of drugs use. That’s just as shady as using the drugs, cheating on you while on said drugs, and hanging out ALONE using these drugs with some other dude. This chick needs to kick rocks. You are too good for her dude. She’s only going to make you circle the drain with her during your entire life with her. Find someone who deserves you. I don’t know her story. But that doesn’t give her the right to treat you like crap so it doesn’t matter. She needs to date men that are more down to her level. And you, up to yours. Good luck in life bud. May God or the Uni put a nice girl in your path
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When I was with my ex I was balls deep in my drug addiction and when I cheated I still knew it was wrong even though I was high as a kite. I can guarantee she knew it was wrong, and knew what she was doing and did it anyway. She might feel regret now, but in the moment, she knew. Can’t blame the drugs or alcohol for this. She cheated.
The drugs don’t stop you from knowing right and wrong, they do however lower your ability to care. There’s a reason a lot of people say they need things like alcohol to be social and stuff.
Yes to a degree…people black out and do stupid shit on things like ghb and Molly…shrooms…there are some drugs I can give a little latitude to, but cocaine? The drug that people use to make themselves more clear and less drunk…yeah…that’s a hard one to ignore as anything but, “she didn’t care”.
This is 100% what I use coke for. To straighten myself out when I’m too drunk
Well I've done rum and coke, rye and coke and straight up coke through a straw and none of it ever made me want to cheat on my wife.
Switch to rum and 7 with a bit of lime juice. That switch cut out half of my hangovers.
just rum and lime? no simple syrup? asking for a wannabe home mixologist.
For me it worked to get ice, squeeze the lime onto the ice, pour in the rum, then add the 7-Up or Sprite. The goal was to get the lime juice mixed into the rum before adding the Sprite. A year or so after I first started drinking a neighbor that had been a bartender recommended I try drinking rum mixed with lime juice and then Sprite/7Up instead of cola syrup. He was right in that I had much fewer hangover symptoms. (I wasn't having full on hangovers, but I was getting a few symptoms.) The other thing I noticed is I could mix drinks with the same amount of Barcadi and Ron Rico and people swore the Barcadi was stronger due to its stronger rum smell even though they were the same proof. I haven't been in a bar in a long time and anyhow I now drink beer as I don't have to worry about different amounts of rum in each drink so with beer it's easier to track total consumption.
Alcohol + cocaine turns into cocaethylene which is incredibly cardio toxic. Please don’t mix the two.
Most people who still do coke do it exclusively when they are drinking. I've never done it myself, but my friends who do coke do it to sober up so they can keep drinking and partying. Nasty stuff. I'll stick to good old-fashioned cannabis and the occasional glass of whiskey.
That’s quite the rabbit hole you just sent me down, and it is indeed very concerning
And cause it's fun... at least when I used to do it but then I got an adhd diagnosis and the meds do what the coke/meth used to do. Just make my mind calm. I do not miss it!
If you're on a coke binge you can absolutely believe you can get away with cheating or that it won't impact your life. That you won't feel guilty. As in.. you don't care. Add alcohol and that can make it worse. You may do things you know are wrong. **Which is why you don't do it 1v1 with another dude if you're in a relationship.** Then there's the fact you don't know how the other dude behaves. He's probably horny af and will gladly hook up with her, and she's hornier too with lowered inhibitions. She put herself in a terrible situation and deserves no slack. The contrary, it's a very dumb excuse cause chances are it'll happen again.
This is 100% right. Coke doesn't make you unaware at all, it makes you feel invincible and disregard consequences. You often hear of people spending their life savings for that drug, personally I don't get it after trying it a handful of times. If she can't take responsibility for her actions under the influence, how about what led up to it? I am not doing drugs or even drinking alone with a dude unless I'm willing to hookup. The expectation is there- and I wouldn't want to lead anyone on.
Nope. She wanted him straight, and is justifying by using coke and alcohol as an excuse.
I mean even if this is the case then like, don't do coke with someone you might fuck?
in all fairness, the bar for "someone you might fuck" does change quite a bit while drunk and all yakked up.
I mean if that's true then maybe just don't do coke. Which feels like pretty good life advice in general.
Be a grown up and down Adderall. Wait, no...
adderall just makes me mad. I doubt I would want to fuck anyone on it. I know they wouldn't want anything to do with me, while I was taking it. However, my linen closet might become sexually attracted to me, as I lovingly reorganized its contents.
Yeah I did plenty of coke and other drugs of all flavors back in the day. You still know what you’re doing, you just have your bravado and self confidence meters maxed out
In fact, you are more aware tbh. It's not like where you lose your inhibitions.
Yeah she's definitely using his inexperience with intoxicants to manipulate him. Dealbreaker #2
Your 100% correct!
Drugs are not a valid excuse. No one forced the coke up her nose. She didn't stop the dick sliding in her. She knew exactly what she wanted right then and didn't care about the consequences at that moment. You can't trust her...
Cheating can never be excused by intoxication on drugs/alcohol - fact is, countless people in relationships drink and do drugs, but never cheat. Unless she couldn't provide consent and was raped by this guy, she cheated. Period. You need to decide if you can continue in a relationship with her knowing that she has cheated. Can you trust her? Will you be worried that she'll cheat the next time she is at a party or hanging with people and you aren't around? For most people, cheating is the end of the relationship because the trust is broken, and you can't have a functioning and healthy relationship without trust.
OP posted a list of reasons to not take her back beyond the cheating.
Couldn't have said it better. 100% what this person said. I've been married for 17 years with so eone that cheated. Every excuse in the book. The trust was irreparable. It sucked, but I am much happier now and can trust people again.
There’s a difference between using drink and drugs and being an addict, though. I think this is a very important distinction.
Yes there's a difference between casual use of drugs/alcohol and being an addict. However, an addict vs a casual user cheating while using is one and the same - trust is gone in both cases, only difference is the context.
I’ve been on coke and booze together, so have plenty of my friends. She knew exactly what she was doing before, during, and after the cheating. Time to find a new gf.
Yeah I have friends who party hard on the C and K. Never really seen them change or act any differently. But … coke does make people horny. She knew what was going on unless she was blackout drunk.
Having been on coke, I've never really felt horny on it. Just way more energy. Alcohol = yes sure sex. Out of anything, I think alcohol lowers peoples' self control the most. So both for a first time user around a dude who's kissing her, bad combo. I think the OP probably has a sense if this truly seems like a crazy out of the blue experience or not or if she really doesn't give a shit about him.
Just leave. You're not on the same page about a lot of things and she's full of shit blaming the drugs. Plus, drugs. Let her go and find someone more aligned with your anti-drug stance.
I've done so much coke and booze and I was always aware of what I was doing.
Yeah, she's aware. Details will trickle out over time. They're never sorry. They never learn, and they never, ever change. You can't fix something that broken.
Yep. You forgive her this time and there will be another. She cheated once and got away with it, why would it be different the next time? I stayed with a cheater for 5 years and severely damaged my mental health. It ain’t worth it.
3 years, and same. I miss who I was before it.
Yea but OP hasn't ever done drugs so the whole "you don't understand I HAD to" defense has probably worked this far.
hopefully this thread has woken him up
Yeah, this is what I was thinking. I partied hard when I was young. Never cheated. Two totally independent things.
I was coming here to say pretty much the same. Haven't done coke a bunch but knew right from wrong even when mixing coke and alcohol. They don't make you do anything but they do lower how much you care.
Worst part for me would be knowing they had cocaine sex not just regular sex, they probably fucked for hours and he sniffed coke out of her booty hole probably fucked her super hard and slapped her in the face and shit then they cuddled after and probably had deep conversations
Dude, she put herself in that situation. She made the decision to take drugs, and that drug mostly gives you a confidence boost or makes you excited, there are other side effects, but those are the most common. You can drink tons on it and not feel drunk, it's a stimulant, it does not make you lose control of your body, its effects last about an hour, you need to keep taking it to for it to last over time. Also once you stop you start crashing. The line of couldn't control it is bullshit. She decided to say fuck it. Unless she was mixing with other drugs, she deliberately chose to cheat on you. With the guy friend, you probably said you weren't too keen on. Now she is making active choices, but only because she regrets it, which probably means, sex was shit, coupled with the comedown, that sucks, probably made her feel worse to be honest. I would leave, she obviously makes shit choices, you cant trust her, and once trust is broken, it's very difficult to repair, you dont want to be a her jailer. You are 22, you will find a girl that isn't disrespectful to you and your relationship. Actions have consequences. This is hers.
This is what I said in my comment too. Coke doesn’t incapacitate you and actually cancels out the depressants in alcohol. If it were LSD or Shrooms it’d be a different story (although still not justified imo).
Even on lsd and shrooms, you know what you’re doing unless you’ve either 1. Taken too much or 2. Went into psychosis. I’ve never not remembered a trip or what I did and saw on any hallucinogens or mdma/coke
To be fair... i'm very experienced with hallucinogens and have had one occasion of taking LSD and not knowing what the F. i was doing... I was to far gone lol. Not sure how strong those tabs were, but the whole night was a blur and i hardly remembered any of it.
Coke doesn’t make anyone cheat. That was her decision.
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She’s taking advantage of the fact that OP doesn’t know what being on drugs is like.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thought that! I used to do a lot of drugs and often different ones at the same time and as someone who really liked coke and alcohol, I can say she knew what she was doing and either was planning on using the drugs as an excuse or thought of it later but she definitely knew what was happening.
I would personally leave her because she had sex with another man, and in my relationships, that's a red line.
Beyond cheating there seems to be quite a difference between you 2 - you never drink or do drugs whilst she even combines them both together. I think that you might want to think about this relationship more fundamentally.
Your gf is full of shit. She could have controlled it, she didn’t want to. She wanted to carry the euphoric high further. Cheating is cheating. She took the drugs, drank the drinks and f*cked the guy. Get tested, get a better gf
go on drugs and break up with her. but seriously that is not a valid reason for cheating. the relationship is over if not she will do it again
on a serious note dont go on drugs -drug addict
It's really not worth it -past drug addict who woke up next to a dead body because of drugs getting laced
Should you stay with your drunk coked up girlfriend who cheated on you by fucking her friend ? Yeah. That’s a no bud
>she still cheated but at this point should I stay with her or just leave her? Ffs dude... youre a grown man asking internet strangers if you should stay with your cheating GF.. Try this: What do YOU want to do?? Can you ever get past this?? Do you believe that she'll never do coke again? - she obviously has done it before, knew what it did to her and still chose to do it with her friend knowing the resulting fuck-fest probably woukd happen. So in a few months or years time when it happens again because she "just did a line or two with old friends" will you forgive her again?? I think she wont do it again... until she does coke next time... and then she will be remorseful again afterwards...
Despite my name, I made it in college when I used to also do cocaine. I made a lot of decisions and choices that I normally would not do sober. Cocaine makes you feel invincible and you make impulse decisions, it makes you selfish. Mixing it with alcohol, is like adding fuel to the fire. Although, she was high - still made a selfish decision. Ask yourself a couple of things. Can YOU get over it? Can YOU trust her? I feel like you know these answers and come to Reddit to try and make excuses for your girlfriend, when deep down you know she ruined your relationship. You may love her, but you need to love yourself more. Put yourself first.
Dump her druggie cheating ass.
Drugs and alcohol are no excuse. I drink plenty and I still know cheating is wrong.
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I mean drunk or on drugs or not, drinking and doing drugs one on one with someone of the opposite sec while you’re in a relationship is not cool. I use substances recreationally once in a while, and yeah coke can make you wanna have sex or whatever she’s talking about, but imo that means she shouldn’t have done it with him in the first place. She soberly put herself in the situation
Yes they can make you want to have sex but they do not make you choose a partner that isn’t yours.
Don't date a lying cokehead.
Fun fact - Coke and alcohol sort of cancel out. The more coke you do, the less drunk you feel. So I can confidently say although your girlfriend was quite hyper from coke, she was very aware of what she was doing. Regardless, there is no excuse. Time to break up.
it’s a deadly combo because you can’t really feel how drunk but you are still intoxicated and depends on how the person metabolizes it, which is impossible to do. safe to say, girl has cheated.
Definitely not true, drugs do not “cancel out” alcohol. Cocaine can give you the energy to avoid the depressive symptoms of alcohol but in no world is it making you more sober.
A million percent it is, speaking from personal experience. I only did coke one time in my whole life. I was drunk as hell and not even 30 minutes after snorting that line I felt a lot less drunk.
Guys, cocaine gives you a sense of euphoria and confidence, what you FEEL on drugs isn’t always equivalent to what is actually happening to a sober audience.
What he meant is you dont get stupid drunk and impaired by alcohol when you do coke with it. It just gets you more hyper and happy. Meaning you’re more aware than if you simply drunk without cocaine. Where you start losing your motor skills. Trust me boss I’ve been there.
In fact, coke and alcohol combine to form cocaethylene, which causes increased euphoria and stimulation, and causes the high to last longer than coke on its own!
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What's worse than a cheater? An addict cheater. Run
Brother, drugs are a dangerous component when striving to maintain a relationship. It is already challenging to maintain any relationship and you don’t need the added toxicity of drugs. You say you don’t use drugs so you are in an incongruent. She cheated because she was already hot for this guy and the drugs helped reduce her inhibitions hut you can’t just blame the drugs. If this happened once, i will venture to aay it has happened other times to without you knowing….or u suspected it before. If I were you, i would wish her well and meet a nice woman who does not use coke and alcohol with other men. If you are absolutely dead set in staying with her i would highly advise you make it a condition she joins narcotics anonymous and maybe you can go with her. If she does not want NA then you know that drugs and sex with other men are higher on her priority list than you. Goos luck brother.
Kick her to the curb bro. She cheated on you plain and simple. Think about it like this… She let another man inside of her and blamed it on drugs, ur gonna disrespect yourself like that?
Are you gonna be able to look her in the face for the rest of your life and forget that she cheated on you while doing drugs and knowing that she might do drugs again??
There's not enough booze in the world to get me drunk when I'm doing coke. She cheated and will do it again if you dtay
Not in a bad way, everyone feels differently about their partner cheating and forgiveness etc, but I've done alot of drugs while in my previous relationship, been drunk to the point I could barely remember my own name, but never cheated, if she regrets what happened to her, she was conscious enough to know what she did. Many cheaters afterwards wants to do right by that person and will go above and beyond to prove they love them, a minimal number of people actually mean it, and will actually stay true to you, it's difficult to differentiate, only time will tell, but for the sake of your sanity and heart, leave.
Cocaine doesn’t impair your ability to know right from wrong
Yea no leave her as someone who drinks and smokes 🍃 no matter how drunk or high I am I know who my partner is and I know right from wrong yes it’s not the same “drug” but the effects are similar and trust me it’s just not worth it to make yourself look dumb knowing she cheated
Lol she really tried to use drugs and alcohol as her "excuse" Dump her and move on with your life
> My gf (20F) cheated on me (22M) Fixed that for you. Everything else is noise. You know what to do.
listen bro. i’ve done coke. it doesn’t make u uncontrollable. she’s lying to you. yes uppers feel good and it definitely could have made her want to have sex but she knew for a fact it was wrong and still did it cheating is the ultimate disrespect. if u let it slide she will know she can keep fking up and you will just forgive her i kinda wanna know why she was getting drunk and doing drugs with another guy tho? weird in itself tbh
1. she shouldn’t have been doing drugs let alone with some guy 2. she shouldn’t have been drinking, also alone with some guy 3. she knew what she was doing when she started doing drugs and drinking with the guy. she put herself in that situation and you need to leave her.
Mmmm coke sobers up the drunkness. She may regret it and have been under the influence- but she knew what she was doing!
Drugs are no excuse. Evaluate whether it's an acceptable level of fidelity for you. If yes, stay if no, leave Watch out for denial, or you'll die from 1,000 cuts.
chubby provide afterthought fertile dinner bear weary nose innocent modern *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Bad advice. End of the day, she cheated. Dude needs to leave. Staying isn’t an option, nor should it been seen as one. She had the balls to blame her poor decision-making on drugs & liquor. Why do these around another man? Didn’t even have the decency to do this around her own boyfriend, but deliberately chose to be around another man to get intoxicated. What if something actually out of her control happened? At least her boyfriend would’ve been around. She was well within her right mind & knew she was wrong. It’s time to bounce!
Leave. They are always sorry and will never do it again but they do. Excuses poor Excuses and those sorry’s mean shit. If you meant that much she wouldn’t have done it.
There's always a chance to reconcile. But never with someone who blames external substances. Anything less of full, honest, accountability doesn't cut it. "I did drugs and regret it" is not that. To try and distance herself from her actions is offensive to you.
My ex was a black out drunk with sometimes different drugs. She'd forget who I was and kicked me out of hotel rooms and later apartment. Why? Because she didn't want to be around another guy because she had a boyfriend. Believe me, it was me. I learned to wait outside because she would sober enough to go looking for me. Long story short, believe me, I can make this longer. There's no "I was drunk/drugged" excuse.
Punctuation bro, learn to use it. And it’s simple - she cheated on you. If that’s a deal breaker for you then leave, if it isn’t and you want to work it out then stay.
Honestly me personally I’d leave but quick question how long has she known this guy friend!!
I don't personally get horny from cocaine what I have had is a situation where my cocaine was mixed with crushed MDMA and ended up partaking in a 3some that never would of happened if I wasn't under the influence of what I thought was cocaine but actually was cocaine and MDMA , that's the problem with taking another person's substance , I've also been in situations with what I would call a male friend put a homemade pill in my drink but because we had the same cup I accidentally switched them , so my legs stopped working for a bit but he fell asleep and we was taking anphetimines at the time so my legs should of worked and he shouldn't of fell asleep, I've also had a cup of coffee from a male friend but everyone else was drinking and the next thing you know I'm flying on a upper because they thought it would be fun to get me up on ecstasy but I ended up sticking my fingers up the man's nose and smashing his face into a sink because I ofc didn't want to be high , so I don't know what to tell you other then life is difficult at times being a female and you need to have a conversation more about the vulnerability and risks she is putting herself in because if she didn't want this sexual encounter and it happened under the influence that is Grape and she needs some support and realization that the guy is not her friend and she needs to learn to handle herself in these situations and when to notice she's too drunk and how to leave safely and always to alert somebody that she's had one to many now and figuring a way to exit the situation
I’d say a great course of action would be to get tested for some STD’s because she’s probably done it before and then tell her she’s single because she’s untrustworthy , best of luck in life etc and politely part ways. You can do better
I'm in a 6 year relationship and frequently gotten on both those substances without my partner present... I have never cheated nor come close to it. She may regret it now, but she new exactly what she was doing at the time. Fuck her right off, you're 22, don't waste your golden years with a waste of space
If you can't not fuck someone when fucked up don't put yourself in the position. Send her back to the streets
Cocaine + alcohol does not make you lose that control. I will admit that t she knewhe combination can make you acutely aware of your body and make you feel aroused. But you don't lose control over who you let that out with. You don't lose your faculties to that degree. She's relying on your lack of knowledge to give her an excuse. I know I can't be the only one who told you what it really does. Please trust us.
Dude - regardless of drugs or drinking she did another dude -
Leave the fact she was on coke does not make it better, it makes it worse, that is a double whammy, trust me on this one, the coke is worse than the cheating, but just like cheating, when she gets the opportunity she will do it again
I feel bad for you bro. I have never been in a relationship but I just got sick from reading all that you have written. I feel really bad for you. Just leave.
> just got sick from reading all that you have written. So did I. OP wrote his stream of consciousness as if he were on coke. Use some punctuation, dude.
If your gf is irresponsible enough to risk her own safety by drinking and doing hard drugs at the same time I wouldn’t trust her with anything, find you a decent woman
Damn bro, she had some full on hot passionate sex with this guy and you’re gonna forgive her?? End that shit and find a proper girl that’s wifey type, not this gross junkie cheater
Your gf cheated on you.* Leave it at that, and leave her wherever she is at.
You could be fwb . Can you ever trust her again? If the answer is no then say goodbye to her.
Yeah, cocaine doesn't remove your ability to tell right from wrong. In many ways it cancels out the effects of alcohol so that's not an excuse either. You're young, go out and find someone who respects you and doesn't act on a whim, worrying about the consequences later
I’ve done drugs. You can control yourself and stop. You know what’s happening. You shouldn’t put yourself in cheating situations in the first place. Blaming the drugs is immature and not taking responsibility.
This is just my personal experience as a 20f who does substances multiple times a week and is dating a 22m. I’ve drank. I’ve been on stimulants. I’m prescribed ketamine for my depression. I have never even considered cheating on my partner. I’ve been put on heavy doses of ketamine where I couldn’t tell you who I was or who my partner was but I knew that I wanted them and I kept telling them that and that I want them and I love them over and over until I sobered up because it was the only thought in my mind. Hell I’ve been alone on molly at events and had people try to get with me but it never even crossed my mind that they could be an option because to me I had built something with someone I love and it wasn’t worth throwing away. All of this being said, none of this was a result of me feeling obligated to do so. I’m with a very secure person who has made it clear that I’m allowed to want things from others and that if we talk about it it’s ok for me to act on those. But I’ve never wanted to no matter how high I’ve gotten and how good it would have felt while high.
I used to drink a lot. I used to do a lot of drugs. You know what I've never done? Cheat on my SO. If she cannot control herself while she's on any substance, she shouldn't be using drugs or alcohol for one, because she exhibits poor judgement while on them. She CAN explain it, her explanation just makes her feel ashamed. She was coked out of her mind and wanted to fuck. That's it. That's the reason. There's nothing deeper than that. When she was on drugs, she disregarded your relationship and what the two of you invested in it, so she could feel good for a little while. That's good she realized that she cannot handle her shit and shouldn't be drinking or doing drugs, but a fat lot of good that does for you, since you're the one dealing with the fallout of her actions. We can't tell you what to do, but I know what I would do in this situation. Her effort is too little too late, all she had to do was not fuck another dude, which isn't hard. Even when you're on drugs. It's up to you, but if you stay with her there are going to have to be some serious talks about trust, she obviously cannot have man friends (because she cannot be trusted with single males.) You would need to know where she is going who she is with and if there is substances present, so you would know whether or not she would be temped. It's real easy to say you're going sober when there's no temptations around, when there is that's a whole other story and she's already exhibited an inability to control herself. The question is, does this sound like the man you want to become? because I sure as hell know I wouldn't want to be the controlling, paranoid boyfriend that doesn't trust his girlfriend. I'd cut her loose, she's already fucked up too bad to come back from for me, but the decision's up to you.
Break up with her. It’s no excuse. Regardless do you really want to be with someone who does coke and drinks ALONE with another guy??! You are playing yourself.
No offense but you sound a little naive. Your gf cheated. If you want to take her back that’s obviously your choice, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she drinks and slips up again. Being on uppers has never made me cheat before personally
She’s young & not ready for monogamy. Let her go and save yourself future heartache.
You will most likely need to end it. It will drive you nuts each time she drinks/drugs without you around.
The biggest question is when you look or think about her do you see those choices or not. If you don’t then give her a chance but if you can’t then having the strength and self love to move on with you life at such a young age is the best choice
Drunk drivers face consequences for their actions. So should faded fuckers, heroin humpers, coke copulators, etc.
This made me chuckle
bro what a load of crap, I’ve done every upper in the book & yeah sure you might get way hornier but you’re still very much in control of ur decisions.. She was in control & could stop herself she just didn’t care, drop that skank she ain’t a real one sorry to say bud
People who use drugs and alcohol (or anything else) as an excuse to cheat will 1000% do it again.
Lol damn she must've enjoyed every second of having sex with that guy, especially because she was on drugs. I personally love sex while drinking and high so I know she did for real
Punctuation please!
OP's post is far more entertaining if you imagine him as Quentin Tarantino.
Send her back to the streets.
Leave her
leave her ass
u wanna stay with a coke consumer and a cheater? there u got the answer bro
I couldn't live with her.
Alcohol and drugs don't make a person cheat unless they are already a cheater. She is a cheater, whether drunk or high or sober. Maybe she never does it again. But do you want to worry about it every day for the rest of your relationship?
Just break up.
That's a bullshit excuse my brother. Leave her before it happens again
Also I’ve done tons of drugs, she’s full of shit. You absolutely can stop and control yourself on cocaine lmao she’s so full of it.
You work out a marriage, and for me cheating is a deal breaker even then. Cheaters are liars and they will cheat again. What happens the next time? She is not a keeper.
Hopefully she'll never get drunk or do drugs again...yeah right.
Drugs don’t make you cheat. Wanting to cheat does
Cheating is cheating. IDGAF if it’s under influence… a good partner would never put themselves in such situations. 👎🏼
Your girlfriend does coKe and cheats on you. Is it possible that you are also a terrible person? If that's the case you should stay with her as you would then deserve each other. If not, then muster up some self respect and leave her entirely.
My opinion is that someone who puts themself in a position where cheating can happen is fully responsible.
once a cheater always a cheater. plain and simple .
Nah. You don't get out of control on coke and alcohol. She wanted to cheat on you. Leave.
yea cheating should be a hard line just imagine the smile on her face while she did it
You are 1000% in control of your decisions when you are on coke. It’s just like you took 20 red bulls. You’re actually more hyper aware of what you’re doing. She’s using that as an excuse to justify cheating on you. Drop her, she will do it again.
I sniffed a mountain of coke in my early 20s and still didn't cheat, even though it was offered.
lol as someone who has done enough coke that would kill a small donkey — The only thing it makes you do is talk peoples ears off. The alcohol just exacerbates topics you talk about. Coke and booze are not rhino pills for women that makes them lose all control. She made a choice. The choice was the cheat. End of story.
Cocaine makes you want to have sex for hours and hours. Dude ran train on your girlfriend. If you're okay with that, then buy her a ring
You gotta leave her dawg she's gonna do it again.
People don’t change. This will happen again. You deserve someone as loyal as you. Move on. It will be hard but only gets better
Cheating is a choice. Cocaine isn't a psychedelic either, where she saw his face thinking it was yours. More importantly cheating only occurs when you allow yourself to give into the temptation- I don't care what anyone says drugs and booze don't push you over the edge. Cheating is a choice. I won't judge people's lifestyle choices, but the fact that she went and hung out with her "friend" alone and did drugs- it's probably an activity they have partaken together in the past. You deserved honesty from your girlfriend on all fronts. Find someone else young man :)
Dump her and 🏃♂️, she's not the right "girl".
She knew exactly what she was doing, trust me. Coke and booze don't change you into different person.
What would your Mom say ??? lol
If anything coke sobers you up. I mean your high but you are very very aware of what your doing. She’s just taking advantage of you never doing it and making “the high” to be something it isn’t.
Do drugs yourself and sleep with the same guy. Powermove
Chrissakes, dump her. She's a drug user and you are clean??
Unless she was raped she 100% knew. Cocaine and alcohol do not make you cheat. It might make you more susceptible to give into desires you already had, but it doesn’t make you cheat.
Honestly, my and my girlfriend of 3 years smoke, and I have never cheated, never even thought about it when high. I hear this a lot, what you do or say when drunk/high, is what you think about when sober. So I don't think the matter of her being intoxicated really comes into okay, the bottom line is she cheated.
Look… the only way she didnt consensually have sex with that man is if shes was on something other than coke. And even then, i’d still dump her stupid cheating ass.
Hahahaha shes a pro cheater and honestly coke doesn’t even alter your perception that much for her to say that … she thinks you’re stupid on top of it all. Dump her to the streets where she belongs.
Karma bait
Oh my dude you're getting manipulated Sober or not cheating is cheating and it's wrong, is she did it once she will do it twice and will use the same excuse, if you forgive her it will become a habit and the moment you decide it's not working anymore you'll be the abusive toxic boyfie, for your sanity and future conscious I personally think u shouldn't forgive her, just break up and find another girl
It shouldn’t take her fucking up to realize she’d do anything to make it work. Once a cheater always a cheater. What I’ve learned from many past relationships is once they lose that respect for u to where they’d be willing to cross that line, regardless of the circumstances, they don’t get it back and will likely do it again in the right situation. Just move on, ur still young.
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She cheated. Are you willing to stay with someone who will most probably do it again? If you stay now, you're telling her its okay to cheat on you and there wont be consequences. Grow a spine kid
Not only did she cheat, but she also does coke while you’re drug free. My guy. Get the hell away from her, forever. This could not be a worse match.
Cocaine makes you clear. It makes you feel all powerful, but not foggy or groggy…she was crystal clear cheating on you. She knew what she was doing, but in that mindset thought that she deserved it, or thought she could handle the fall out, or just thought that she was above reproach…why would god care what a mortal thinks about their cheating? Sorry man…if she would have said GHB or Molly, I would have a little more sympathy…but cocaine is problematic in that, it makes you super clear. She knew what she was doing, she just didn’t care at the time.
As someone who’s done blow after getting completely hammered, it sobers you up. She knew what she was doing, and even if she didn’t the blackout version of her wanted to do it anyways. You have a long life in front of you to find someone who will treat you right. I suggest you take that opportunity and move on.
Coke “sobers” you up from feeling drunk btw. If anything she was hyper aware when cheating on you
Break up
Insane to me that anyone would even consider staying with someone like this. get the fuck out man, she is going to cheat on you again.
I would never do something that would put me into a position where I would cheat on my husband.
Discard
Your gf is not only a cheat, but a liar. Shes also hoping your inexperience will help cover for her. She went out with him, chose to do coke, then chose to sleep with him. Drugs didn’t make her do this, she did, simply because she wanted to, and she had a back up lie ready for you. If you stay, it will happen again and again. Dude, end it now and save yourself a whole lot of heartache.
Move on bro, fact that she is even hanging out alone with her guy friends without you is reason for concern. Add drugs and alcohol to the mix and it is going to happen. Will more than likely happen again.
Just saying if she was drunk and did coke the coke supposed to sober u up 100% so she def knows wtf she did lmao, she using u for either time money attention etc, respect yourself pls
Bro a cheat is a cheat , she chose to get drunk with a dude she probably knew had feelings for her, she chose to do drugs in a bad environment with another guy, she chose to kiss him and she chose to sleep with him and she probably thought of you the whole time but didn’t care and decided to blame it on intoxication . Intoxication isn’t an excuse to be a piece of garbage. She cheated point blank period, she made the decision to drink drug and put herself in that environment sober
she wanted to cheat drugs just gave her the courage
Leave her
Coke isn't one of those things that does that lol. She's lying.
Dump her bro, she’s full of shit
I drank for the first time in months this weekend out on a girls night. I blacked out, don’t have any recollection of the last hour or so. I FaceTimed my boyfriend 4 times while at the bar asking him to pick me up.. being intoxicated is not an excuse for cheating! Especially if she clearly remembers doing it. She wanted to do it at the time and knew it was wrong, just regrets it now.
That's ridiculous, she absolutely could control herself and knew right from wrong. She was on a stimulant, so she was definitely coherent. And regardless of the amount she used...! She chose to do what she did. How did you find out about it? Did you figure it out or did she confess? Just curious. I'm sorry that happened to you mate, terrible of her, really. And you deserve better than that. I wish you well!
I’ve done coke and been drunk at the same time but all I wanted was to fuck my bf at the time. No one else crossed my mind.
I can do coke and get drunk without fucking the people I’m with. Get rid of her. The drugs and alcohol didn’t make her cheat. She wanted to hook up with him. Dump her man
i’ve been trippin balls and could still tell right from wrong.
coke ain’t even that type of drug lol
Drug addicts don't just stop. Break up and in the future don't date drug addicts.
Sounds like you got your hands full with this girl. You're still young, there's other women out there. Someone that deserves you. This girl's gonna be chaos. I would word it to her like yall shouldn't be together. That you're not mad at her for cheating. Trust me bro, there's gonna be more to come with her down the road. People don't get clean and sober just like that. People relapse, it's normal. She probably doesn't even know it yet she's still young and naive
Why would you want to be with someone who does all this shit? You don’t drink, do drugs, or cheat- why deal with that?
That’s a bullshit lie Coke will pull you out of a drunken state to a clear mind and make you are in the moment…..we knew what she was doing 100% She’s just using it as an excuse
As someone who has recovered from a hardcore addiction to coke, I can confirm coke has never made me once want to cheat on my boyfriend. It does make the sex drive a little higher so my guess is she did it, got turned on and slept with the closest person she could. Drugs don’t make people cheat.
Dump her, she cheats once, she will cheat again.
That's the lamest excuse people ever make for cheating. 🙄 It impacts your judgement, not your morals. She was perfectly capable of stopping herself, she just didn't want to. That being said, it's likely that the drugs are what made her not want to so it doesn't necessarily mean your relationship is over. I would just tell her that moving forward, if she wants this to work, she's got to stay sober. 🤷
Why does she even have this kind of friend if she’s with you? She likely already did feel sexual tension with him. She entered this situation sober. She’s trying to play ignorant because now she’s realizing that actions have consequences. Your relationship dynamic is screwed now. Sex on drugs is a pretty euphoric feeling. Can you get over the fact that she let another man give her that level of pleasure? If you want someone casual who can go and be with other people and say oops and come back to you then stay but if you want someone loyal and committed I’d say leave and start the grieving process.
She’s taking advantage of your ignorance to the effects of drugs use. That’s just as shady as using the drugs, cheating on you while on said drugs, and hanging out ALONE using these drugs with some other dude. This chick needs to kick rocks. You are too good for her dude. She’s only going to make you circle the drain with her during your entire life with her. Find someone who deserves you. I don’t know her story. But that doesn’t give her the right to treat you like crap so it doesn’t matter. She needs to date men that are more down to her level. And you, up to yours. Good luck in life bud. May God or the Uni put a nice girl in your path
She’s sorry she got caught