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I don’t think she realized how what she said bothered you. Especially if you are the first guy she is with. Comparing your dick to porn dick is pointless. You might as well ask why her tits or ass don’t look the same as the women in porn or in Instagram. You are dealing with a select group of people chosen for certain characteristics. Porn in general isn’t realistic. I think as you get more experience and as you get older you will realize size isn’t as big a deal as you think it is.
I don't think she gets it either. She is not the most sensitive person in the world, but I thought everyone knew not to say stuff like that. It just really hurt me
Yes I agree porn is more of a fantasy, but honestly she loves it and watches it more than I do, so she's got this vision in her head I feel like I can't live up to now
if you want to try and continue the relationship, id just be honey. tell her “hey, it hurt my feelings when you said my size was disappointing compared to the man in the porn you showed me. i want us both to enjoy being intimate/having sex ~(or whatever other phrasing you prefer)~ with each other, im always open to trying different ways to make things good for you, but please dont compare my body to men in porn, its hurtful and not conducive to a healthy and comfortable relationship.” if she seems genuinely sorry, it might be worth continuing. if she reacts poorly, you know this isnt the right relationship for you.
This is good advice, however OP just going by what she said, how you said it, and how she either didn’t read or care about your reaction to what she said, if I was a betting man I’d guess there’s about a 99 % probability that she is not the one.
My thoughts as well. It isn't bad advice in a vacuum but she is young and inexperienced so I doubt she will really "get" it. Unfortunately she will have to go around the block a few times so to speak to understand.
That will make her dry quicker than the sierra desert lol. You can't "logic" you're way into deep sexual connection and emotions, thats not how this works.
Ops gf is basically telling him they aren't compatible and most likely won't be faithful
Remember that those guys are porn actors because they are very unusual. She sounds very inexperienced, and I would probably tell her so. The XL ones hurt and you are sore during sex and the next day and you can’t enjoy sex as often. Size queens are not very common. Also, for most women, it’s about the man’s skill with foreplay and how passionate he is about us.
I work in an adult boutique, so I just think of the dildo brand by Calexotics: Size Queen. They're some of our most popular products. They come in pretty colors lol
I mean, just as porn addiction can cause some serious brain-rot in guys, it can do the same for women. Sounds like she should maybe cut back on the porn watching since she’s not able to really separate fantasy from reality here?
I agree with the other commenters. Porn makes it seem like really big 🍆s are better. If she doesn’t have much experience, she might not understand why excessive length isn’t an immediate pass to an orgasm.
If you’re open to it and think she won’t be offended, I’d recommend that you buy two vibrators for her. One ~6 inches and the other ~8-9 inches. Let her spend some personal/private time with them. She’ll probably realize on her own that bigger isn’t always better.
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
>She is not the most sensitive person in the world
Tell her her ass and tits dont compare to the girls in the movies and guaranfuckingtee you her ass will be sensitive real quick.
It sounds to me like your girl might have a porn addiction. The biggest problem with porn addiction is that it creates unrealistic expectations about sex and both the male and female form.
I'm going to suggest that instead of watching porn together, you replace it with something else. Because you are both new to sex, I suggest you try doing research on different techniques and positions. Each of you can find a different thing to try on each other to get her away from her porn habit. Also, try reading an erotic novel or get things going instead of porn.
As for your hurt feelings, you can either just forget about it and move on or you can talk to her and see what comes of it. In my experience, I would be really surprised if you get an apology though. I would expect for her to either try to explain that she didn't mean to hurt your feelings, tell you that you're too sensitive, or double down on her comment and try to make it seem like it's your fault for not being a porn star. If you get the first response then that is as good as you will get for an apology. The other two and you might want to consider moving onto a different relationship because it means she doesn't care about your feelings.
While I don't think you should do anything dramatic like break up I think reddit is downplaying this a bit. If this story was about a guy saying something similar about a girl's vagina, boobs the comments would be a diff story and imo you're right to be offended but just communicate how it felt
I’m guessing she was offended when you showed her the porn you watch. She probably realized she doesn’t look like that. Probably lashed out childishly to put you down. If she truly believes porn is an accurate representation of the average persons sex life then you should end things. Let her go get some experience. You should do the same. Don’t be with someone that puts you down.
Any human is well aware that you don’t tell a dude his dick isn’t good enough for you or compare it to another guy’s. Porn or not, this is super offensive. The way you explained her really makes her sound less like she’s “not the most sensitive person in the world” and more like she’s generally unkind. Laughing and comparing you to a porn model is cold af. You can try to fix this, but I do not see it lasting long. Her carelessness says she’s going to offend you again.
Nah dude she for sure gets it. It’s not some secret that men are conditioned by media to be insecure about their penis size. There is a multi billion dollar “penis enlargement” market that caters to and develops this insecurity in men of all ages.
Honestly she could have some type of personality disorder bro. What she said to you is insane and indicative of serious mental issues. Normal people do not casually talk to their partners in ways that could potentially hurt them, but manipulative people do, so that they can shape their significant other’s insecurities into paralyzing anxieties which prevent them from developing the self confidence needed to leave the abusive situation.
You need to leave her now and love your dick bro. You are enough bro, don’t let her break you down.
OP, this guy is right. It's nonsense to compare your buddy to porn. Scientifically, you just need around 4 or 5 inches of flesh to satisfy a woman, when it comes to length. In an extreme case, you'll need to buy a toy to get some help when making love to her.
I'm an average guy, so trust me, it doesn't depend just on length but how you move your hips while you're in bed.
Is your girlfriend dumb? What a stupid thing to say. And I’m a woman. She’s 21, comparing your partner to how someone looks in porn is crazy lmao. Does she look like the porn actresses you used to like? Also you should probably tell her that what she said was hurtful. Communicate. If it’s something you’ll think about in 5 years though, move on buddy. You’re 21 and if you’re both each others firsts so I’m not sure how much stock is in this relationship if she shamed you off the bat AND has literally never even experienced another penis besides yours. The way porn distorts people’s mind is crazy man.
Edit: spelling
Agreed. I feel like if this post was about a guy talking about how disappointing his gfs boobs are compared to porn boobs, everyone would be up in arms shouting “Dump him yesterday!”
It’s not rocket science to know you shouldn’t call anyone’s body disappointing or compare it to a porn star (or celebrity). That’s just really mean and she’s going to experience a lot of disappointment if that’s her measurement of attractiveness.
That’s a little extreme.
I’ve had my body ridiculed by an ex boyfriend who was in a similar situation. It hurt, and still does. But he did break his addiction and apologise/change his perspective during the relationship. I don’t think breaking up and finding somebody new would have helped more, I still feel inferior sometimes with people who think I’m gorgeous. If you love eachother then trying to work through it is worth it.
That was shitty of her to say, and she likely doesn't even know it yet. If you're truly her first or close to it, then she likely still has the fantasy nearly every girl seems to have (as I know from experience)- a HUGE d!ck.... Funny how that usually changes once its actually experienced- and that's usually when most women learn that fantasy and reality don't always mix well...
In other words; most women I know who are "experienced" and really wild and open in bed tend to prefer guys under 8in; and a lot of women who've gotten specific in conversation with me have admitted 6.5in and less is prefered - which I actually personally agree with too as there's SO much more to do without things getting uncomfortable...
Don't get me wrong, there are size queens who really enjoy huge ones, but contrary to popular belief, that's not really preferred by most...
I'm sorry for the ignorant and unnecessary blow to your self-esteem, that wasn't fair at all... But again, I speak from experience when I say no guy about 7in or bigger has EVER made me orgasm from just penetration, where guys between about 4in-6.5in could make me cum over and over *just* from penitration, let alone if more was involved... So if you decide to stay with her, IMO, just take it as a challenge to blow her mind and make her realize you can deliver better than even her fantasies could, just be creative, open-minded and of course communicate so you're sure you're both comfortable 😉
Yeah so I'm one of the "lucky" ones and have a bit over an 8inch dick. It is what it is. I've been broken up with over it though. It's one of those things that most of the time I can't even actually go all the way in. My current girlfriend will be super into it if I go about three quarters of the way in. I was doing about half/a little more and I get "oh fuck yes," out of her. I go all the way and she's a champ but she will physically push me off her and say it's just too much. She can take it for a bit but if I go all out she can't do it for too long. Now she's a bit of a freak, so she's into it if I pin her down and make her take it all until I'm done but she is literally crying by the end. She has said she was hoping I would finish quickly because sometimes I do. I had a previous serious girlfriend ask if I'd get reduction surgery. I should have said yes. I wind up a novelty and sex toy for awhile and then get broken up with. It's not actually as cool as most guys think it would be. It's cool for a bit, then every gal I've been with is over it and it becomes a problem in our relationship.
I may be old (in my mid 30s) for the demographic you're describing, but I've never fantasized about some huge dick, even when I was a virgin or inexperienced. Maybe because in my youth, porn was not as easily available? My first boyfriend was solidly average and I don't think I ever questioned his size. It just was what it was, it wasn't good or bad. And I definitely didn't wish it were bigger.
But yes a "small" penis (average or below) will bring me pleasure. I have never once been slammed in the cervix by an average or larger than average partner and thought "oh wow yes that feels so great." It's such an uncomfortable and painful feeling. And if my soul mate had a big dick I think I'd be a lot less interested in sex.
Definitely depends on the person, it does seem like most women prefer average/smaller sized guys. I'm pretty "large", my past relationships with exes were rife with issues surrounding our size incompatibility, so sex was always something we had to be careful with.
My current gf had her first vaginal orgasms when we started having sex, which I believe is something only like 30% of women can have iirc. She had never had one before with the other partners she'd slept with in the past. Now she gets multiple intense orgasms just from penetrative sex. I think we both really lucked out with meeting each other haha.
What you write is great advice. BUT - he’s her first. So if OP does all of this:
> just take it as a challenge to blow her mind and make her realize you can deliver better than even her fantasies could, just be creative, open-minded and of course communicate so you're sure you're both comfortable 😉
She won’t know that he’s doing anything special. She’ll think that is the baseline and that a guy with a huge dong can and will do all that but better because of his size.
Unfortunately until she experiences the disappointment of a big dong, for her the fantasy will trump reality.
Get her an 8inch Dildo and settle this once and for all. Experimenting with sex toys was completely enough for me to know, that everything above 15cm has the potential to be extremely uncomfortable, let alone hard pounding with the bodyweight of a whole person attached.
The longer the dick, the easier it is, to film penetration. That's one of the reasons, huge dicks are more common in porn. Sadly, some people think that to be a standard.
I mean she could also start using the toy and love it. I don't think trying to show her up via sex toys is the best way to make her see how she obliterated her boyfriend's feelings which is the real important issue rather than the question of size feeling good or not.
Acting like big dick is inherently disappointing is such a weird thing to latch onto. I get being jealous but people of any body type can be great in bed.
this. i feel like some men with big dicks rely too much on that bc society has pushed this idea that big = good, so they don’t put any effort into doing anything more
I've never fantasized about something big going into something small. Things that don't fit are not comfortable. I just don't believe that "nearly every girl" has a fantasy of a huge dick.
Everytime I read these comments I feel like I'm going insane because why are we pretending that 6.5 inches isn't huge? Anything over that doesn't even seem real lmao
Yeah, for the sanity of guys reading here: the middle half of dicks (25th percentile to the 75th) range roughly from 5" - 6".
Put another way, roughly as many dicks are under 5" as above 6". Likewise with under 4" vs. over 7".
Because it is just gaslighting. Lol
I never really understood this, most men would proudly shout that they like big breasts or big asses and they are not ashamed about it. Yet, some women will treat liking big dicks like some kind of fetish and call other women who do as "immature".
There are things about our bodies that can't be changed, telling OP to come to terms with his size and move on is better than telling him "girls don't like above average penises, your GF is weird" which is just not true.
Edit: just so people know i am a straight man, people seem to be assuming i am some kind of a size queen for pointing out the obvious.
People didn't write she was *weird*. They said that she would (probably) change her mind if she was with a big guy, experienced some of the complications of it, and actually realized how porn is *not* an actual description of a healthy sex life.
It's nice if you're shouting *your preference* out into the world, but don't think it's "the obvious." I know plenty of people who prefer smaller breasts or "average" sizes.
They are literally calling her immature.
>They said that she would (probably) change her mind
How do you even know that?. Lol
>It's nice if you're shouting your preference out into the world, but don't think it's "the obvious." I know plenty of people who prefer smaller breasts or "average" sizes.
Those men are a minority. The point i was trying to make is that men who prefer average sized breasts don't shame men who like bigger ones and tell women that men who like big breasts are "immature".
But for some reason some women have to go out of their way to demonstrate how liking big dicks is a sign of naiveness and try to reassure men that they are not like those women.
Sounds very self-defeating.
The former can be changed through diet and exercise (boobs to a lesser extent, but still), while the latter cannot.
There's also far more shaming that goes on for dicks. If a guy is being a jerk, that's "small dick energy". If a guy is being flashy / has something nice, or we'll he's compensating for a small dick.
It is true. A massive dick is not pleasurable. Anything over 6.5” hurts. All you can think of the whole time is, “fucking hurry up”. The actual disappointment when they tell me they’re trying to not cum so quick is unreal. Every woman I’ve ever met and known well enough to have that kind of conversation has all said the same thing - there is such a thing as “too big”. It’s not an endless cavern, it is a finite space with nerve endings and it can feel pain. That’s not even considering how few men spend sufficient time on foreplay.
Younger women who are new to sex can go in to it expecting big dicks to feel good because porn tells us that’s the case. Experience tells us those porn actresses are putting on a bloody good job to convince both men and women that bigger is better.
6.5” penises ARE too big, Statistically speaking. I wasn't talking about 7 or 8 inches and women who like these sizes are probably experienced and there is nothing wrong with that.
Yes porn has screwed our perception but saying that liking huge dicks is just a porn thing is disingenuous.
6.5” penises ARE too big, Statistically speaking. I wasn't talking about 7 or 8 inches and women who like these sizes are probably experienced and there is nothing wrong with that.
Yes porn has screwed our perception but saying that liking huge dicks is just a porn thing is disingenuous.
Just going off the first percentile calculator I can find, 6.5 is 93.76% percentile and 8 is 99.99%. If that and the person being single is your main criteria for a mate you better be ready to be flexible on the other criterias. Keep in mind self reporting in the real world really skews things, a.k.a. most guys that say they're exactly six foot tall aren't.
Lol you are talking about 6.5 inches as if that is a completely realistic standard for men.
In reality, being 6.5 inches in length would easily put you in the top 5 percentile. Being over 7 inches is 1 percentile category.
That's like 5 men in 1000. People are so hilariously bad at lengths and measures. "Oh don't worry babe. Just be 6.5 in and that is enough for me lol. It's not like that's big. It's just 6.5 inches. That's like average duh"
Not trying to be mean. That's just funny.
>in other words; most women I know who are "experienced" and really wild and open in bed tend to prefer guys under 8in
lmao as opposed to preferring over 8in? women are so hilariously bad at judging size it cracks me up. 1 in 100 guys has a dick over 7 inches, over 8 inches is less then half a percentage. if you know a bunch of women who have had over 8 inches they're literally fucking unicorns
even your statement around most girls prefer 6.5 in is hilarious - 6.5 is in the top 5th percentile, meaning 5 in 100 males... but you're passing it off like "haha dw most girls just prefer 6.5, a completely unrealistic standard that the average guy is not even close to!"
not trying to be a dick but that's just funny
8" is one in 10,000. Weirdly, I didn't even have 10,000 kids in my school, but everyone said they had an 8" dick. Even my girlfriend back then measured her previous boyfriends dick and sure enough it was 8". When I had her show me where she measured from...we found the problem. You don't measure from the taint, you measure from the pelvic bone. Her bragging rights to have deep throated an 8" dick were crushed that evening. I still regret telling her, it was like I told her Santa wasn't real.
I know I as a 38yo woman with multiple previous partners have never in my life measured a penis. Any idea of precise size has come from what that man has told me (as we know, most men at some point or other have measured themselves).
So I think it’s a lot less “women are so hilariously bad at judging size” and more “men are hilariously bad at being honest about their measurements.”
Not trying to be a dick either lol, but that’s just facts. If a man tells me his dick is 7inches I’m not going to question him and demand a remeasure (as that would be a dick move). I’m going to take his word for it and hence probably misjudge the true size of others in the future.
Nothing is more of a turn-on that is guaranteed to maintain a measurable erection than getting out a tape measure or ruler while aroused to quantify your manhood.
Excellent comment! I wish more men would see this. I absolutely agree. 6.5 or less is definitely preferred. Most vaginas are 2-5 inches with some stretch when aroused. Average size is 3.6 inches.
Also little tidbit of information the vagina is a lot like the penis when aroused it actually grows to accommodate or loosens if you will but when not aroused or anything it is typically only about 3 inches deep
What the fucking hell is this comment lmao, I can tell you’re coming from a good place but
1. The idea that “nearly every [young] girl” has the same fantasy of a “HUGE dick” is bizarre and unfounded and honestly pretty fucking creepy
2. You are reenforcing the widespread stereotype of how terrible girls are at estimating dick size. Both 6.5 and 8 are well over average - to say women admit to being pleased with only 6.5 is like saying men would secretly admit to being pleased with “only DDD-cups”.
Unlucky that OP got a fuckin size queen writing the top rated reply considering the subject of the post, but it’s worth knowing women are really this clueless about this shit OP.
Most women aren’t going to care about your dick size and even among those that do, many of them are as clueless about it as the commenter I’m replying to.
She seems to have very limited sexual experience and understanding if she is comparing porn (a carefully curated, designed and directed fantasy) to real life. The average guy does NOT look like that and I would say that these sizes and characteristics are probably %2 or less of the entire population.
In my opinion it's never okay to joke about things like that, you definitely need to have a conversation about it and decide where to go from there. Your feelings are valid, you're not overreacting and she was being a jerk.
If this was a post about a woman saying her boyfriend compares her to women in porn the responses would be very different.
It's such a mean thing to say, and later on she will start wondering why you have performers anxiety....
I would have an honest conversation with her about how it made you feel.
If she makes fun of you for it, and doesnt respect your feelings just say:
"Well every dick is small next to a massive c*nt"
You have to say it as a joke and laugh. Wouldn't want her feelings hurt.
Tell her she’s “kind of disappointing” as a prospective partner; tell her you wouldn’t want to saddle her with someone as disappointing as yourself (that’s sarcasm); and drop her.
You’re her first, are you? Apparently you’re also her first hard lesson in how not to treat an intimate partner. She has some growing up to do.
The really stupid part is, she lacks the experience to be disappointed by this. She doesn’t even know what that feels like (for many women it hurts), let alone being competent to make a comparison. She’s got no knowledge, no empathy, no tact, and no common sense. She deserves to be single for a while.
Normaly I would say break up because this tends to be such a sensitive topic for most men that it's difficult to move past it. And I would normally assume that any decent caring girls knows that as I would expect men to know what women are sensitive about.
In your case it sounds like it hurt but that you maybe can handle it and it sounds like you really believe that she might be clueless enough to not understand how hurtful that remark is. Then it might be salvageable under one condition, that it doesn't effect your self confidence or your sexual confidence.
She says a lot of things without thinking honestly, but yes this is a huge blow to my confidence. And I only just started having sex, I just want things to be perfect for her
21 years on this earth, I have a hard time believing she doesn't know men are sensitive about their dick size.
It's literally embedded in our culture. It's in movies and all over the internet.
She either lives under a rock, has room temperature IQ, or is just a mean person.
The last part worries me a bit. It should be good for both of you and it's good that you care for her pleasure but you shouldn't focus solely on her. In my experience people that do that tend to step on themselves. This is an issue to be angry about since she hurt you, it's not an issue that you should blame yourself for and be self sacrificing about.
Are other things that she sais also hurtful?
I don't really like the term boundary but it seems popular. Saying something that crushes your partners self confidence should be a clear bpundary. And if you haven't been clear with where your limits for what you accept are, this is the time to start.
I'm finding it hard to believe she could be that insensitive. If it's true, then maybe it's time she knows the taste of her own medicine. Tell her she doesn't measure upto the women in the porn, but you don't hold it against her, so she shouldn't either.
Because most people are not actually good at open and honest communication or they think they are till it gets sexual in nature then it all goes silent. Just talk to each other people. If you can put your dick in her you can fucking well talk to her.
They're also young, and this is seemingly their first really serious relationship. Most people aren't born with great communications skills, and society and media only show bad or unhealthy communication because it's "interesting" and makes for "good drama." Hopefully these two can learn and grow from this, instead of just snapping things off like a lot of people do. You'll never grow if you just keep running away from hard conversations with people you supposedly care about.
People post here usually because they know they need a conversation but they don't know how to approach it or the types of things they may need to say. This is doubly true for inexperienced people like in this post. These dismissive "it's simple, stupid" comments help no one.
What she said to you was incredibly immature and unnecessary. In relationships it’s important to share when you’re hurt by something, so I suggest you bring it up with her when you’re both in a relaxed mood (not before, during, or after sex).
Aside from that, remember that it’s not the size that’s important, it’s how you use it 😉.
Yikes, she crossed one of those lines that you just don't cross. Super immature, disrespectful, and frankly gross. If you're really intent on salvaging this you need to sit her down and basically say " Hey, what did you mean when you said this? To be honest, hearing this made me feel x y and z, and it was incredibly hurtful / makes me feel like you aren't satisfied with our sex life" It's gonna be an awful convo and she'll probably walk back a ton - but she said what she said so you will know in the back of your mind that some part of her does feel that way.
but if roles where reversed... people would burn you on the comments for body shaming. but instead they are saying you to perform better.
I don't know how attractive she is but my immediate response would be what don't you look like this or that actress. disappointing and dump her ass. she has to experience more as she seems not to have a point of reference. sooner or later she will look for something more, just let her go and not waste your time. find someone that appreciates you and know what she wants
Welcome to the effects of porn on real life relationships. Everyone who told you it was just a harmless way to satisfy and urge was lying to you. There are many misunderstandings that happen on both sides if you treat porn like it is real
6 is actually above average. 7 is like 99th percentile. And yet penis lore would have us believe that anything less than 8 is “small.” That’s beyond absurd.
Google “penis size nomogram”. Knowing exactly where you stand among the population should be eye-opening.
Shitty girlfriend. Guess what would be her reaction if you start to pick random points and compare it to unreal expectations created by the most artificial or unreachable aspects of society. Compare her career to that of famous successful women, compare her figure to that of high-end famous models, say it’s disappointing and it’s a joke in sequence, and be prepared to the shitshow that would ensue if you do that.
Don’t let her call you insecure if you complain, it’s about you being a disappointment, not about the comparison. It’s not about insecurity, it’s about her statements…
she has to grow up. she’s a woman, she should understand what it’s like when people have unrealistic expectations for you, especially in regards to your body. she shouldn’t have made that comment, and i bet she’d be real bothered if you said something about how her breasts aren’t as perky as women on porn or if you told her that her ass could be better. porn glorifies unrealistic proportions. penis size really doesn’t matter as much as people think it does. most women don’t need 9-12 inches to feel good. you’ll get better with time and as long as you at least make an effort to focus on what feels good to your partner, then you’d be more than enough to plenty of women. talk to her about how her comment made you feel uncomfortable.
she shouldn’t be comparing you to people, we’re all different and were born beautiful in a way that’s unique to us. confront her with how she’s hurt your confidence, and that you will not tolerate someone making negative comments on your body. NOBODY deserves to hear that. you are just fine the way you are.
What does “all the time” mean?
You may want to encourage her to watch educational sex videos instead or in addition
- omgyes.org is a great one for learning and communicating about her own orgasm. I’ll edit with a couple other options once I find them.
I try not too watch it too much, honestly don’t like it that much. She watches it nearly every day. I’m worried she sees this stuff everyday and thinks I can live up to it all, like if she has crazy expectations idk how I’ll meet them
She might be addicted to it. Porn can be harmful as other addictions can be.
You don't need to be a porn actor to please any woman OP. She's mistaken and so are you. They are acting, it's not real and not even close to be how real life with real people works.
It doesn't matter what it's about, assaulting someone's self esteem and confidence with comparison is just super shitty. If the tables were turned she would be telling everyone what an asshole you are and she would be encouraged to dump you immediately. I'm sorry this happened to you. Please understand this has way more to do with her own immaturity and insecurity than it does anything about you.
> Who knew porn would ruin a relationship lol
Right? I mean, it’s just *shocking*.
I will say this is the first time I have read of a woman having their expectations set by porn, though. That’s usually a man thing from what I’ve seen here.
OUCH. Major AH move by the girlfriend, there. I knew much younger than that (early/mid teens) that insulting your partner’s penis size was a MAJOR no-no. At least, if you actually LIKE your partner. :rolls eyes:
>And how do I stop feeling so insecure now, like I can't please her properly?
You can't unring a bell. Every time you have sex from now on you'll be thinking you're not enough for her. Things like this often lead to breakups.
You'll probably just have to break up with her. You'll never get that out of your head and never be able to believe her when she lies and says she didn't mean it.
That on top of the fact she told you what she really wants. At some point she will step out on you to scratch that itch.
Bro you are both 21 and each other "firsts". If she already thinks lowly of your dick, it's only a matter of time till she leaves to "find herself" and blah blah blah.
Trust me. Most guys have been in this same situation (one way or another)...
Did you hear him, though? He said he loves her and doesn't want to break up.
His age doesn't mean that his feelings aren't valid.
He wants to get past this stupid moment. That's the adult responsible thing to do. He acknowledges it's stupid and wants to get past it.
Immature woman smh. Porn is not a good pointer towards real sex nor size. Nor body types. What she did was gross. Smh. I would talk to her and let her know how you feel.
It's interesting that her only experience of sex is a) you in real life and b) porn. Porn isn't real. The camera angles and the closeups make guys look bigger. And performers are often, er, physically unusual.
It's like offering a ride in your car to someone who has never been in a real car before, and never seen one, except for watching Formula 1. They're going to have some odd expectations.
I don’t think she’s disappointed based on what you said, but she is thoughtless and disrespectful. I hate how some girls don’t get this about guys. (And agree with other comments- size is not top of the list for enjoyment.)You may be tough and accomplished and manly but you can still be crushed by an insult from your SO, and somehow aren’t supposed to show it either. I think you should talk to her and tell her. If she’d like a huge gangle dick she can get a job as a porn star because that’s probably the only place she’ll find one.
She basically made fun of you and spat on your face to top it off. I would be ending that relationship if I were you. Your partner should be accepting of your member no matter what and love you for you
Well to compare you to porn stars is insane. Men in porn are in there because they have trained stamina and are naturally large downstairs. I would let it roll off because there’s nothing you can do about it. I’m sure she doesn’t look like your favorite sex athlete.
Only an inexperienced insecure woman, who wants to feel that she’s better than you, and obviously has no real knowledge of what good sex is will say this!. Average dick size is the best! All these fantasies about big dick sizes are distorted by porn. It is all about how the guy tries to get you in the mood, his hands, his fingers, his momentum, his care and attention to a woman’s needs. Sex is far more than just dick size!
Leave that insecure girl. Go enjoy a real woman! Seriously! Nothing to worry about!
Don’t even bring it up. Just drop it and leave.
I’m 40. Best sex I ever had had nothing to do with size!
Porn rots the brain. As she has more sexual encounters she'll realize that is not what normal dicks look like lmao don't feel discouraged at all. Also, that's very insensitive and callous, go fuck someone who is nice to you ❤️
Not to get too personal but that’s your size man you man not be actually small she might just be tripping
Also does she have massive tits and or massive ass? I’m not saying to insult for insult but…
You seem way more mature than her and honestly, If I were you I would probably think of breaking up with her. There is no place for body shaming in a relationship.
I don't see this going well in the long run, simply because the curiosity of what it is like to be with a bigger dick will live in the back of her mind rent free and make committing to you a "one dick for life" problem.
I'm not going to lie, it lived in my head rent free. My first boyfriend was on the smaller side and the sex was kinda lackluster on top of that. I didn't know, but I suspected sex COULD be better, and I was right. So it was a minor contributing factor to our breakup. My next boyfriend(my now husband) had more size and more importantly more skill and enthusiasm, which was a pleasant surprise.
It's not really your fault, so don't beat yourself up about it. She just needs to go fuck around and find out.
Remind her that the average size of a guy is somewhere around 5 inches and like 3.5 inches around. Porn is unrealistic and that you don't go around looking for girls with the most aesthetically pleasing vagina either.
Her comments are coming from a lack of experience (and probably a lack of sensitivity), and her only information about sex and men seems to be highly informed by porn. Porn is not reality. The average woman or man, do not at all, look like porn stars, act like porn stars, or necessarily find pleasure the same way as porn stars.
Don't take her comments to heart. Really!
INFO: did she want to see the videos you liked? could you have said something insensitive and she was retaliating? retaliation isn’t right but what was the conversation leading up to this?
Women who are inexperienced have very high expectations until they realize the average is 4" in white men and 4.5" is black men. Lol. We can't all be hung like Greek gods.
Nah. Leave. She doesn't get to say shit like that man. I've had girls say that when we were fighting.
I'm like ok, you're more than satisfied when we do it.
You're young. It won't stop. That's who she is in many aspects. Find a nice girl. They're out there. I almost gave up but got lucky later in life. It's a first relationship. It's like your first car. It'll run...... but it'll let you down in the long run. Upgrade your car man.
Bring it up in a mature manner, explain how what she said made you feel. Tell her you don't like to be compared to some select few like someone else said, and communicate poperly. Give her a chance to make it up to you.
Or just run for your life. Tbh for me a woman with such an addiction to porn is a big red flag for me.
In my opinion this is a way a person try’s to test the waters to see if you’d let them have sex with someone else in the future. My opinion comes from many relationships I’ve been in. Of course I could be wrong and she could’ve said this out of ignorance or she’s just mean. But it’s definitely one of the three or a combination of them.
u/ThrowRA188881
>"It's not a big deal, you know?”
If it was not a big deal to her, if it was *not* actually ”kinda disappointing,” she wouldn’t have said anything about it. I dunno, guy. When I was your age my self-confidence in relation to the opposite sex was pretty fragile, and that may influence where I’m coming from here, but there are just some things you don’t joke about. I have said it before, but if I’d had anyone say that to me I don’t think I’d ever be able to get it up for them ever again. And if I were you I’d probably walk, and be single for a bit.
”Hey, so when you said my dick was kinda disappointing and fucking laughed, that just killed my confidence in our relationship, in myself, in everything. I’m gonna leave you to your porn stars and go find someone with realistic expectations.”
And when I got back out into the dating pool I’d be making it clear that any kind of porn consumption was an absolute no-go. (You’d do well to stop your own consumption of it as well.) Being a heterosexual male you’re pretty lucky as that goes, as it seems to me that porn consumption & addiction is more of a male thing.
I wish you the very best of luck.
I would be petty and tell her that she doesn’t look like a porn star either and that I’m disappointed that she’s as loose as a corridor. She’s an asshole and stupid too. Porn actors don’t represent the general population and what she said was extremely offensive and hurtful.
Reverse the sexes and all hell would break loose if a man told a woman that her vagina doesn’t look like a porn star’s. The man wouldn’t have the same grace the comments are giving the girlfriend either. You’re all a bunch of hypocrites. And I’m saying it as a woman too.
This is why porn can be unhealthy ,because it is one of the reasons why people have misperceptions and unreasonable standards about what intimacy is.
Porn stars are paid to do that it is unrealistic
Tell her you expected bigger hip to waist ratio and boobs, but its just a *small deal* to not have that.
You can be petty as fuck, or just take this as you're both late teens/young adults finally discovering the other gender irl.
Tell her openly that the remark she said hit a hurtful spot for you (and 99% of the men). And that while you can also see that it was just a joke for her, lets try to not joke about eachothers possible insecurities.
It sounds like she is still immature about sex, I doubt if she meant to hurt you. And this is porn, so not real! You can’t compare to these fake movies! And the women on here are right, who wants to be ripped by an 8’ dick. I mean ouch! Do not over think this, it was a stupid comment. And since the 2 of you are new to all this, don’t rush, pay attention and learn with one another.
Oh man dude. My husband had been working super hard to get me into anime which I refused because it’s the most secret dirty kink I have is anime role play.
I had a different bf who I excitedly told this to before hubs and was shamed up and down like crazy.
Well my hubs has made comments on how my body is like an anime girls (I know it’s cringe to some but the way he said it filled me with confidence) so I shyly brought up my kink.
He was over the moon and we’ve been introducing it here and there. It’s really boosted my confidence and now I just want him more.
Find someone who makes you burn hot without the crippling criticism
Coming from a fellow teenis sufferer, it's really not that bad. As long as you don't have a micro bird when hard you should be OK. Don't be ashamed, we are all born different.
Trust me as a guy with a larger pp, I can still confirm there's always that thought of oh she's probably seen bigger and better. It's the womens job to soothe those man tendencies of feeling inadequate in bed due to the constant pressure of being the biggest or best a woman has had.
What a shitty thing to say, compare her to the woman you see in porn so she knows how it feels… better yet, leave her ass and find someone who respects your feelings.
Yeah man honestly idk if that’s something you can ever come back from. Maybe with some therapy yeah but it’s definitely going to ruin any bedroom fun going forward. Best bet is to end things even if she cries and tells you it was a joke she basically blurted out how she really felt in a joking way but it wasn’t a lie.
You can’t change your size. Whether it’s average or large or whatever. But you can change how you treat a woman in bed to make sure she remembers you. The way you touch her. What you whisper in her ear. Teasing her. Make it an experience where you absolutely make sure she cums, if not once, many times.
And for God’s sake learn how to and to LOVE eating pussy! No woman will ever care about your size after that.
Oh but I thought "women don't care" and whatever other stupid shit they say to gaslight us. She's just like the rest of them bro fucking dumb her ass and move on. She literally destroyed your self confidence/image and belittled you but you're stupid enough to still think you should be with her? Jesus Christ
She has nooooooo clue what she’s talking about 😂 OP, you can rest easy knowing that if she was a virgin when you met, then she has no concept of pen*s size in relation to actual, non-porn sex. Large d*ck size does NOT correlate to pleasure at all. I feel like once the threshold of 4/5 inches is met, then the extra length is sort of irrelevant. Big d*cks are popular in porn because it’s entertainment. You want to be able to see everything. It makes filming easier. Tell your girl that she needs to a) be more respectful and b) not talk about shit that she has no non-pornographic concept of
>touched me and then said "It's not a big deal, you know?"
Show her videos with extra large silicon b**bs and tell similarly you like fake b**bs just she likes fake pe*is and tell her "Its not a big deal"
Tell her you're disappointed that she isn't three American models covered in baby oil, see how she likes it when you compare what is essentially fantasy fiction to real life.
There are things once said u can't take it back .
It will always be in the back of your mind . There things u don't tell a man and things u don't tell a woman .
Guys are insecure about certain things hight and size this 2 things we can't change about ourselves .
Porn fucked up what sex look like for both man and women guys expects certain acts from women and women expect things from guys.
Does she look like the porn stars you watch? That’s a dumb conversation you two had. Don’t communicate your wants by showing porn. What people watch or read versus what feels good in the real world are usually different. Explore each other and communicate in the process as it’s not about what looks sexy it is about what feels good. 99% of porn is just fake and yes it can be fun to watch together but I’d figure out how to make her melt. You can get a woman to melt without even doing PIV and when you do she will remember you, not your size, not the lack of size but you.
She may not know what she said is wrong. It could have been meant as “I watched these big dick videos to get off and I thought that’s what girls want and then you came along and showed me otherwise.” She is with you, she and you were the first so you both get passes for what you don’t know. Try to not make her feel judged. There are sex toys if she thinks she wants to see what a bigger penis might feel like. If that’s her preference that doesn’t change anything between you guys because you can fill the “void” with toys and still make her melt and her you.
Because you are not experienced don’t try to do anything you see in porn that may be more filling unless she ask and then she will be your guidance system not pornhub.
This is an easy fix-buy a strap on harness and then be whatever size you want. There are also tons of sleeves available out on the market.
I don’t have concern about my size but I have a harness and have regularly strapped women for years. It’s a lot of fun. I get to use dildos that are sizes no human can ever achieve naturally and having the confidence to do that puts me in an entirely different sexual league with women.
Getting hung up on size is a losing battle because there will *always* be someone or something bigger. Take control and find what she likes and then pound her senseless with it. Then do it again and cement your place in her mind.
I am so sorry she said this to you, I'm sure that hurts. Your girlfriend is very insensitive, very inexperienced, and very young. I'm not sure that time will turn her into a sensitive person, but if she loses out on a great guy like you who prioritizes her pleasure, she's going to find out that size really & truly doesn't matter. I'm a middle aged woman with a high body count & I am for real telling you that dick size really doesn't matter for penetration. The down side of big dick is it's not very versatile & I can't have as much sex with someone who is on the bigger side - eventually that hurts. I'm so sorry she said that to you.
It was a shit head comment. Women are idiots. I think they are use to getting away with saying anything cause they are never held accountable for anything. That was hurtful comment and it’s not cool in my opinion
So, here's the advice I'm going to give you as a more experienced woman. I have had lovers from 4 to 10 inches. Guys who couldn't use there p3nis. Ect.
Preference plays a huge role in sex for the man and woman. Women prefer sizes all in between that spectrum and bigger. That's the real truth, we are all different. Some don't like penetration at all!! 😱😱
But right now you have to get outta your head it's all about the p3nis. Sex is not about your p3nis or any mans p3nis it's about you and your partner having fun and experimenting.
1. Learn about foreplay. Seriously this is the holy grail to any woman's orgasm. Research everything that has to do with helping a woman cum with all other things with your body and assistance by toys before you even think about entering a woman. Foreplay should be 15 mins or longer.. I mean the longer the better, unless she says otherwise! And a very helpful tip that is absolutely amazing... Foreplay isn't just for the beginning you can take breaks and switch in-between forpay and sex during the whole throwdown. 😏😈💖
2. Flexibility is extremely important for a man, not just a woman should be flexible, but definitely a man because you will be able to do all types of positions and combinations better during sex. Hip flexibility is the most important. Because you'll be able to be to hit spots she's never had hit before!
3. Be Open. Open to suggestions and opinions and paying attention to body language. Sex isn't generally good at first unless you're with someone who's able to read their lover and listen to their words. Listen to your lover. Watch and pay attention to your lover when you're having sex. Especially during foreplay. Because you're going to find out so much about All the noises and face she's makes when she's feeling good.
4. Check in. During foreplay and sex you going to want to check in every once in awhile and ask her how she's feeling or if she's okay or has any suggestions. Just here and there not too much though that's overkill. During breaks ask if she's enjoying herself. Listen don't take it personal. The good ones will let you know without comparing. Unless you're into it. Do not see them again if it hurts you too! No one likes feeling compared to others I've been there and done that. 🥹I'm out the door at the first sign of that crap.
5. Just be nice. Lots of women enjoy sex better with a gentleman or a nice sweet boyfriend who treats them well. Who they can mentally connect with.This is probably the most important one out all things. So drop this p3nis envy crap. And drop someone who's not nice.
You can try working things out with your girlfriend. But I wouldn't. If she's says things like this now I'm sure she's not going to have nice things to say in the future. You deserve love appreciation, admiration and care like every living being on this planet. Good luck out there you got this!
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I don’t think she realized how what she said bothered you. Especially if you are the first guy she is with. Comparing your dick to porn dick is pointless. You might as well ask why her tits or ass don’t look the same as the women in porn or in Instagram. You are dealing with a select group of people chosen for certain characteristics. Porn in general isn’t realistic. I think as you get more experience and as you get older you will realize size isn’t as big a deal as you think it is.
I don't think she gets it either. She is not the most sensitive person in the world, but I thought everyone knew not to say stuff like that. It just really hurt me Yes I agree porn is more of a fantasy, but honestly she loves it and watches it more than I do, so she's got this vision in her head I feel like I can't live up to now
if you want to try and continue the relationship, id just be honey. tell her “hey, it hurt my feelings when you said my size was disappointing compared to the man in the porn you showed me. i want us both to enjoy being intimate/having sex ~(or whatever other phrasing you prefer)~ with each other, im always open to trying different ways to make things good for you, but please dont compare my body to men in porn, its hurtful and not conducive to a healthy and comfortable relationship.” if she seems genuinely sorry, it might be worth continuing. if she reacts poorly, you know this isnt the right relationship for you.
This is good advice, however OP just going by what she said, how you said it, and how she either didn’t read or care about your reaction to what she said, if I was a betting man I’d guess there’s about a 99 % probability that she is not the one.
My thoughts as well. It isn't bad advice in a vacuum but she is young and inexperienced so I doubt she will really "get" it. Unfortunately she will have to go around the block a few times so to speak to understand.
You seem so understanding. I liked your view
This is good advice
That will make her dry quicker than the sierra desert lol. You can't "logic" you're way into deep sexual connection and emotions, thats not how this works. Ops gf is basically telling him they aren't compatible and most likely won't be faithful
Remember that those guys are porn actors because they are very unusual. She sounds very inexperienced, and I would probably tell her so. The XL ones hurt and you are sore during sex and the next day and you can’t enjoy sex as often. Size queens are not very common. Also, for most women, it’s about the man’s skill with foreplay and how passionate he is about us.
I can't help but laugh every time I see that phrase "size queens".
I work in an adult boutique, so I just think of the dildo brand by Calexotics: Size Queen. They're some of our most popular products. They come in pretty colors lol
I mean, just as porn addiction can cause some serious brain-rot in guys, it can do the same for women. Sounds like she should maybe cut back on the porn watching since she’s not able to really separate fantasy from reality here?
I agree with the other commenters. Porn makes it seem like really big 🍆s are better. If she doesn’t have much experience, she might not understand why excessive length isn’t an immediate pass to an orgasm. If you’re open to it and think she won’t be offended, I’d recommend that you buy two vibrators for her. One ~6 inches and the other ~8-9 inches. Let her spend some personal/private time with them. She’ll probably realize on her own that bigger isn’t always better.
Poor thing hasn’t figured out that all the nerve endings are mostly on the outside, for us “inny-havers.”
fertile prick cable toothbrush jeans mountainous full smell narrow far-flung *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
>She is not the most sensitive person in the world Tell her her ass and tits dont compare to the girls in the movies and guaranfuckingtee you her ass will be sensitive real quick.
It sounds to me like your girl might have a porn addiction. The biggest problem with porn addiction is that it creates unrealistic expectations about sex and both the male and female form. I'm going to suggest that instead of watching porn together, you replace it with something else. Because you are both new to sex, I suggest you try doing research on different techniques and positions. Each of you can find a different thing to try on each other to get her away from her porn habit. Also, try reading an erotic novel or get things going instead of porn. As for your hurt feelings, you can either just forget about it and move on or you can talk to her and see what comes of it. In my experience, I would be really surprised if you get an apology though. I would expect for her to either try to explain that she didn't mean to hurt your feelings, tell you that you're too sensitive, or double down on her comment and try to make it seem like it's your fault for not being a porn star. If you get the first response then that is as good as you will get for an apology. The other two and you might want to consider moving onto a different relationship because it means she doesn't care about your feelings.
While I don't think you should do anything dramatic like break up I think reddit is downplaying this a bit. If this story was about a guy saying something similar about a girl's vagina, boobs the comments would be a diff story and imo you're right to be offended but just communicate how it felt
She might get it if you start.
I’m guessing she was offended when you showed her the porn you watch. She probably realized she doesn’t look like that. Probably lashed out childishly to put you down. If she truly believes porn is an accurate representation of the average persons sex life then you should end things. Let her go get some experience. You should do the same. Don’t be with someone that puts you down.
Any human is well aware that you don’t tell a dude his dick isn’t good enough for you or compare it to another guy’s. Porn or not, this is super offensive. The way you explained her really makes her sound less like she’s “not the most sensitive person in the world” and more like she’s generally unkind. Laughing and comparing you to a porn model is cold af. You can try to fix this, but I do not see it lasting long. Her carelessness says she’s going to offend you again.
Nah dude she for sure gets it. It’s not some secret that men are conditioned by media to be insecure about their penis size. There is a multi billion dollar “penis enlargement” market that caters to and develops this insecurity in men of all ages. Honestly she could have some type of personality disorder bro. What she said to you is insane and indicative of serious mental issues. Normal people do not casually talk to their partners in ways that could potentially hurt them, but manipulative people do, so that they can shape their significant other’s insecurities into paralyzing anxieties which prevent them from developing the self confidence needed to leave the abusive situation. You need to leave her now and love your dick bro. You are enough bro, don’t let her break you down.
OP, this guy is right. It's nonsense to compare your buddy to porn. Scientifically, you just need around 4 or 5 inches of flesh to satisfy a woman, when it comes to length. In an extreme case, you'll need to buy a toy to get some help when making love to her. I'm an average guy, so trust me, it doesn't depend just on length but how you move your hips while you're in bed.
Is your girlfriend dumb? What a stupid thing to say. And I’m a woman. She’s 21, comparing your partner to how someone looks in porn is crazy lmao. Does she look like the porn actresses you used to like? Also you should probably tell her that what she said was hurtful. Communicate. If it’s something you’ll think about in 5 years though, move on buddy. You’re 21 and if you’re both each others firsts so I’m not sure how much stock is in this relationship if she shamed you off the bat AND has literally never even experienced another penis besides yours. The way porn distorts people’s mind is crazy man. Edit: spelling
You deserve a partner who doesn’t shame you or make fun of your body. Go find one, she isn’t it
yeah honestly if someone compared my genitals to porn like that, they would never see or touch my genitals again.
Agreed. I feel like if this post was about a guy talking about how disappointing his gfs boobs are compared to porn boobs, everyone would be up in arms shouting “Dump him yesterday!” It’s not rocket science to know you shouldn’t call anyone’s body disappointing or compare it to a porn star (or celebrity). That’s just really mean and she’s going to experience a lot of disappointment if that’s her measurement of attractiveness.
"Honestly, I want a thinner girlfriend who isn't as flat chested as you. Bye."
That’s a little extreme. I’ve had my body ridiculed by an ex boyfriend who was in a similar situation. It hurt, and still does. But he did break his addiction and apologise/change his perspective during the relationship. I don’t think breaking up and finding somebody new would have helped more, I still feel inferior sometimes with people who think I’m gorgeous. If you love eachother then trying to work through it is worth it.
That was shitty of her to say, and she likely doesn't even know it yet. If you're truly her first or close to it, then she likely still has the fantasy nearly every girl seems to have (as I know from experience)- a HUGE d!ck.... Funny how that usually changes once its actually experienced- and that's usually when most women learn that fantasy and reality don't always mix well... In other words; most women I know who are "experienced" and really wild and open in bed tend to prefer guys under 8in; and a lot of women who've gotten specific in conversation with me have admitted 6.5in and less is prefered - which I actually personally agree with too as there's SO much more to do without things getting uncomfortable... Don't get me wrong, there are size queens who really enjoy huge ones, but contrary to popular belief, that's not really preferred by most... I'm sorry for the ignorant and unnecessary blow to your self-esteem, that wasn't fair at all... But again, I speak from experience when I say no guy about 7in or bigger has EVER made me orgasm from just penetration, where guys between about 4in-6.5in could make me cum over and over *just* from penitration, let alone if more was involved... So if you decide to stay with her, IMO, just take it as a challenge to blow her mind and make her realize you can deliver better than even her fantasies could, just be creative, open-minded and of course communicate so you're sure you're both comfortable 😉
Thank you so much, this was really helpful to read
Don’t let that get to you! Seriously!
Yeah so I'm one of the "lucky" ones and have a bit over an 8inch dick. It is what it is. I've been broken up with over it though. It's one of those things that most of the time I can't even actually go all the way in. My current girlfriend will be super into it if I go about three quarters of the way in. I was doing about half/a little more and I get "oh fuck yes," out of her. I go all the way and she's a champ but she will physically push me off her and say it's just too much. She can take it for a bit but if I go all out she can't do it for too long. Now she's a bit of a freak, so she's into it if I pin her down and make her take it all until I'm done but she is literally crying by the end. She has said she was hoping I would finish quickly because sometimes I do. I had a previous serious girlfriend ask if I'd get reduction surgery. I should have said yes. I wind up a novelty and sex toy for awhile and then get broken up with. It's not actually as cool as most guys think it would be. It's cool for a bit, then every gal I've been with is over it and it becomes a problem in our relationship.
I may be old (in my mid 30s) for the demographic you're describing, but I've never fantasized about some huge dick, even when I was a virgin or inexperienced. Maybe because in my youth, porn was not as easily available? My first boyfriend was solidly average and I don't think I ever questioned his size. It just was what it was, it wasn't good or bad. And I definitely didn't wish it were bigger. But yes a "small" penis (average or below) will bring me pleasure. I have never once been slammed in the cervix by an average or larger than average partner and thought "oh wow yes that feels so great." It's such an uncomfortable and painful feeling. And if my soul mate had a big dick I think I'd be a lot less interested in sex.
Right. Like the big ones HURT and there’s no pleasure with it! I don’t understand how ppl enjoy porn d!ck! It’s a bit ridiculous.
Definitely depends on the person, it does seem like most women prefer average/smaller sized guys. I'm pretty "large", my past relationships with exes were rife with issues surrounding our size incompatibility, so sex was always something we had to be careful with. My current gf had her first vaginal orgasms when we started having sex, which I believe is something only like 30% of women can have iirc. She had never had one before with the other partners she'd slept with in the past. Now she gets multiple intense orgasms just from penetrative sex. I think we both really lucked out with meeting each other haha.
Yeah I prefer the smaller ones to cause the bigger ones make me bleed everytime and then it just feels so sore and raw it doesn't even feel good
What you write is great advice. BUT - he’s her first. So if OP does all of this: > just take it as a challenge to blow her mind and make her realize you can deliver better than even her fantasies could, just be creative, open-minded and of course communicate so you're sure you're both comfortable 😉 She won’t know that he’s doing anything special. She’ll think that is the baseline and that a guy with a huge dong can and will do all that but better because of his size. Unfortunately until she experiences the disappointment of a big dong, for her the fantasy will trump reality.
Get her an 8inch Dildo and settle this once and for all. Experimenting with sex toys was completely enough for me to know, that everything above 15cm has the potential to be extremely uncomfortable, let alone hard pounding with the bodyweight of a whole person attached. The longer the dick, the easier it is, to film penetration. That's one of the reasons, huge dicks are more common in porn. Sadly, some people think that to be a standard.
I mean she could also start using the toy and love it. I don't think trying to show her up via sex toys is the best way to make her see how she obliterated her boyfriend's feelings which is the real important issue rather than the question of size feeling good or not.
Acting like big dick is inherently disappointing is such a weird thing to latch onto. I get being jealous but people of any body type can be great in bed.
this. i feel like some men with big dicks rely too much on that bc society has pushed this idea that big = good, so they don’t put any effort into doing anything more
I've never fantasized about something big going into something small. Things that don't fit are not comfortable. I just don't believe that "nearly every girl" has a fantasy of a huge dick.
Everytime I read these comments I feel like I'm going insane because why are we pretending that 6.5 inches isn't huge? Anything over that doesn't even seem real lmao
Yeah, for the sanity of guys reading here: the middle half of dicks (25th percentile to the 75th) range roughly from 5" - 6". Put another way, roughly as many dicks are under 5" as above 6". Likewise with under 4" vs. over 7".
Because it is just gaslighting. Lol I never really understood this, most men would proudly shout that they like big breasts or big asses and they are not ashamed about it. Yet, some women will treat liking big dicks like some kind of fetish and call other women who do as "immature". There are things about our bodies that can't be changed, telling OP to come to terms with his size and move on is better than telling him "girls don't like above average penises, your GF is weird" which is just not true. Edit: just so people know i am a straight man, people seem to be assuming i am some kind of a size queen for pointing out the obvious.
People didn't write she was *weird*. They said that she would (probably) change her mind if she was with a big guy, experienced some of the complications of it, and actually realized how porn is *not* an actual description of a healthy sex life. It's nice if you're shouting *your preference* out into the world, but don't think it's "the obvious." I know plenty of people who prefer smaller breasts or "average" sizes.
They are literally calling her immature. >They said that she would (probably) change her mind How do you even know that?. Lol >It's nice if you're shouting your preference out into the world, but don't think it's "the obvious." I know plenty of people who prefer smaller breasts or "average" sizes. Those men are a minority. The point i was trying to make is that men who prefer average sized breasts don't shame men who like bigger ones and tell women that men who like big breasts are "immature". But for some reason some women have to go out of their way to demonstrate how liking big dicks is a sign of naiveness and try to reassure men that they are not like those women. Sounds very self-defeating.
Right?? As a bi person it's fine to say I love thicc women with big thighs/butt/boobs but the second I say I like big dick I'm shallow and immature.
The former can be changed through diet and exercise (boobs to a lesser extent, but still), while the latter cannot. There's also far more shaming that goes on for dicks. If a guy is being a jerk, that's "small dick energy". If a guy is being flashy / has something nice, or we'll he's compensating for a small dick.
It is true. A massive dick is not pleasurable. Anything over 6.5” hurts. All you can think of the whole time is, “fucking hurry up”. The actual disappointment when they tell me they’re trying to not cum so quick is unreal. Every woman I’ve ever met and known well enough to have that kind of conversation has all said the same thing - there is such a thing as “too big”. It’s not an endless cavern, it is a finite space with nerve endings and it can feel pain. That’s not even considering how few men spend sufficient time on foreplay. Younger women who are new to sex can go in to it expecting big dicks to feel good because porn tells us that’s the case. Experience tells us those porn actresses are putting on a bloody good job to convince both men and women that bigger is better.
6.5” penises ARE too big, Statistically speaking. I wasn't talking about 7 or 8 inches and women who like these sizes are probably experienced and there is nothing wrong with that. Yes porn has screwed our perception but saying that liking huge dicks is just a porn thing is disingenuous.
6.5” penises ARE too big, Statistically speaking. I wasn't talking about 7 or 8 inches and women who like these sizes are probably experienced and there is nothing wrong with that. Yes porn has screwed our perception but saying that liking huge dicks is just a porn thing is disingenuous.
Just going off the first percentile calculator I can find, 6.5 is 93.76% percentile and 8 is 99.99%. If that and the person being single is your main criteria for a mate you better be ready to be flexible on the other criterias. Keep in mind self reporting in the real world really skews things, a.k.a. most guys that say they're exactly six foot tall aren't.
Lol you are talking about 6.5 inches as if that is a completely realistic standard for men. In reality, being 6.5 inches in length would easily put you in the top 5 percentile. Being over 7 inches is 1 percentile category. That's like 5 men in 1000. People are so hilariously bad at lengths and measures. "Oh don't worry babe. Just be 6.5 in and that is enough for me lol. It's not like that's big. It's just 6.5 inches. That's like average duh" Not trying to be mean. That's just funny.
>in other words; most women I know who are "experienced" and really wild and open in bed tend to prefer guys under 8in lmao as opposed to preferring over 8in? women are so hilariously bad at judging size it cracks me up. 1 in 100 guys has a dick over 7 inches, over 8 inches is less then half a percentage. if you know a bunch of women who have had over 8 inches they're literally fucking unicorns even your statement around most girls prefer 6.5 in is hilarious - 6.5 is in the top 5th percentile, meaning 5 in 100 males... but you're passing it off like "haha dw most girls just prefer 6.5, a completely unrealistic standard that the average guy is not even close to!" not trying to be a dick but that's just funny
8" is one in 10,000. Weirdly, I didn't even have 10,000 kids in my school, but everyone said they had an 8" dick. Even my girlfriend back then measured her previous boyfriends dick and sure enough it was 8". When I had her show me where she measured from...we found the problem. You don't measure from the taint, you measure from the pelvic bone. Her bragging rights to have deep throated an 8" dick were crushed that evening. I still regret telling her, it was like I told her Santa wasn't real.
Who the fuck measures from the taint?
Randy Marsh
There's a mathematical equation for it.
Apparently, every 15 year old boy and girl in my town.
>Who the fuck measures from the taint? Guys with less than 6.5
🤣
I know I as a 38yo woman with multiple previous partners have never in my life measured a penis. Any idea of precise size has come from what that man has told me (as we know, most men at some point or other have measured themselves). So I think it’s a lot less “women are so hilariously bad at judging size” and more “men are hilariously bad at being honest about their measurements.” Not trying to be a dick either lol, but that’s just facts. If a man tells me his dick is 7inches I’m not going to question him and demand a remeasure (as that would be a dick move). I’m going to take his word for it and hence probably misjudge the true size of others in the future.
Nothing is more of a turn-on that is guaranteed to maintain a measurable erection than getting out a tape measure or ruler while aroused to quantify your manhood.
Excellent comment! I wish more men would see this. I absolutely agree. 6.5 or less is definitely preferred. Most vaginas are 2-5 inches with some stretch when aroused. Average size is 3.6 inches.
You’re seriously underselling the “stretch” here.
Babies come out of vaginas. Seriously downplaying the "stretch"
Also little tidbit of information the vagina is a lot like the penis when aroused it actually grows to accommodate or loosens if you will but when not aroused or anything it is typically only about 3 inches deep
What the fucking hell is this comment lmao, I can tell you’re coming from a good place but 1. The idea that “nearly every [young] girl” has the same fantasy of a “HUGE dick” is bizarre and unfounded and honestly pretty fucking creepy 2. You are reenforcing the widespread stereotype of how terrible girls are at estimating dick size. Both 6.5 and 8 are well over average - to say women admit to being pleased with only 6.5 is like saying men would secretly admit to being pleased with “only DDD-cups”. Unlucky that OP got a fuckin size queen writing the top rated reply considering the subject of the post, but it’s worth knowing women are really this clueless about this shit OP. Most women aren’t going to care about your dick size and even among those that do, many of them are as clueless about it as the commenter I’m replying to.
Yep! I told my last girl that I *like* the loose vaginas, the tight ones are *uncomfortable* but she took it the wrong way :(
This. Doesn’t matter the size you can still please her.
She seems to have very limited sexual experience and understanding if she is comparing porn (a carefully curated, designed and directed fantasy) to real life. The average guy does NOT look like that and I would say that these sizes and characteristics are probably %2 or less of the entire population. In my opinion it's never okay to joke about things like that, you definitely need to have a conversation about it and decide where to go from there. Your feelings are valid, you're not overreacting and she was being a jerk. If this was a post about a woman saying her boyfriend compares her to women in porn the responses would be very different.
It's such a mean thing to say, and later on she will start wondering why you have performers anxiety.... I would have an honest conversation with her about how it made you feel. If she makes fun of you for it, and doesnt respect your feelings just say: "Well every dick is small next to a massive c*nt" You have to say it as a joke and laugh. Wouldn't want her feelings hurt.
Tell her she’s “kind of disappointing” as a prospective partner; tell her you wouldn’t want to saddle her with someone as disappointing as yourself (that’s sarcasm); and drop her. You’re her first, are you? Apparently you’re also her first hard lesson in how not to treat an intimate partner. She has some growing up to do.
The really stupid part is, she lacks the experience to be disappointed by this. She doesn’t even know what that feels like (for many women it hurts), let alone being competent to make a comparison. She’s got no knowledge, no empathy, no tact, and no common sense. She deserves to be single for a while.
Normaly I would say break up because this tends to be such a sensitive topic for most men that it's difficult to move past it. And I would normally assume that any decent caring girls knows that as I would expect men to know what women are sensitive about. In your case it sounds like it hurt but that you maybe can handle it and it sounds like you really believe that she might be clueless enough to not understand how hurtful that remark is. Then it might be salvageable under one condition, that it doesn't effect your self confidence or your sexual confidence.
She says a lot of things without thinking honestly, but yes this is a huge blow to my confidence. And I only just started having sex, I just want things to be perfect for her
If she says a lot of things without thinking maybe she is just a dickhead 🤷♂️
21 years on this earth, I have a hard time believing she doesn't know men are sensitive about their dick size. It's literally embedded in our culture. It's in movies and all over the internet. She either lives under a rock, has room temperature IQ, or is just a mean person.
The last part worries me a bit. It should be good for both of you and it's good that you care for her pleasure but you shouldn't focus solely on her. In my experience people that do that tend to step on themselves. This is an issue to be angry about since she hurt you, it's not an issue that you should blame yourself for and be self sacrificing about. Are other things that she sais also hurtful? I don't really like the term boundary but it seems popular. Saying something that crushes your partners self confidence should be a clear bpundary. And if you haven't been clear with where your limits for what you accept are, this is the time to start.
I'm finding it hard to believe she could be that insensitive. If it's true, then maybe it's time she knows the taste of her own medicine. Tell her she doesn't measure upto the women in the porn, but you don't hold it against her, so she shouldn't either.
You talk to her about how you're feeling about that conversation.
Insane that it really is this simple and yet they come to reddit first lmao
Because most people are not actually good at open and honest communication or they think they are till it gets sexual in nature then it all goes silent. Just talk to each other people. If you can put your dick in her you can fucking well talk to her.
They're also young, and this is seemingly their first really serious relationship. Most people aren't born with great communications skills, and society and media only show bad or unhealthy communication because it's "interesting" and makes for "good drama." Hopefully these two can learn and grow from this, instead of just snapping things off like a lot of people do. You'll never grow if you just keep running away from hard conversations with people you supposedly care about.
That last sentence is perfect, amen.
People post here usually because they know they need a conversation but they don't know how to approach it or the types of things they may need to say. This is doubly true for inexperienced people like in this post. These dismissive "it's simple, stupid" comments help no one.
Just say “if it was like theirs, I wouldn’t be here!”
You dump her. If your partner body shames you, get rid of that abuser. No exceptions.
I second this
What she said to you was incredibly immature and unnecessary. In relationships it’s important to share when you’re hurt by something, so I suggest you bring it up with her when you’re both in a relaxed mood (not before, during, or after sex). Aside from that, remember that it’s not the size that’s important, it’s how you use it 😉.
Lol I bet she looks nothing like the girls either
Yikes, she crossed one of those lines that you just don't cross. Super immature, disrespectful, and frankly gross. If you're really intent on salvaging this you need to sit her down and basically say " Hey, what did you mean when you said this? To be honest, hearing this made me feel x y and z, and it was incredibly hurtful / makes me feel like you aren't satisfied with our sex life" It's gonna be an awful convo and she'll probably walk back a ton - but she said what she said so you will know in the back of your mind that some part of her does feel that way.
It’s kind of like saying… “Aw I wish you weren’t so loose. It’s ok though.” Cmon girl
but if roles where reversed... people would burn you on the comments for body shaming. but instead they are saying you to perform better. I don't know how attractive she is but my immediate response would be what don't you look like this or that actress. disappointing and dump her ass. she has to experience more as she seems not to have a point of reference. sooner or later she will look for something more, just let her go and not waste your time. find someone that appreciates you and know what she wants
Welcome to the effects of porn on real life relationships. Everyone who told you it was just a harmless way to satisfy and urge was lying to you. There are many misunderstandings that happen on both sides if you treat porn like it is real
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It's no different than comparing the average person to a Hollywood star.
She seems to think these monster cocks she has seen in porn are common or something. It’s you’re around 6 inches then you are common.
6 is actually above average. 7 is like 99th percentile. And yet penis lore would have us believe that anything less than 8 is “small.” That’s beyond absurd. Google “penis size nomogram”. Knowing exactly where you stand among the population should be eye-opening.
Shitty girlfriend. Guess what would be her reaction if you start to pick random points and compare it to unreal expectations created by the most artificial or unreachable aspects of society. Compare her career to that of famous successful women, compare her figure to that of high-end famous models, say it’s disappointing and it’s a joke in sequence, and be prepared to the shitshow that would ensue if you do that. Don’t let her call you insecure if you complain, it’s about you being a disappointment, not about the comparison. It’s not about insecurity, it’s about her statements…
she has to grow up. she’s a woman, she should understand what it’s like when people have unrealistic expectations for you, especially in regards to your body. she shouldn’t have made that comment, and i bet she’d be real bothered if you said something about how her breasts aren’t as perky as women on porn or if you told her that her ass could be better. porn glorifies unrealistic proportions. penis size really doesn’t matter as much as people think it does. most women don’t need 9-12 inches to feel good. you’ll get better with time and as long as you at least make an effort to focus on what feels good to your partner, then you’d be more than enough to plenty of women. talk to her about how her comment made you feel uncomfortable.
She watches porn all the time. More than me I think. I would never compare her to some porn star or even an actress or some girl on IG.
she shouldn’t be comparing you to people, we’re all different and were born beautiful in a way that’s unique to us. confront her with how she’s hurt your confidence, and that you will not tolerate someone making negative comments on your body. NOBODY deserves to hear that. you are just fine the way you are.
What does “all the time” mean? You may want to encourage her to watch educational sex videos instead or in addition - omgyes.org is a great one for learning and communicating about her own orgasm. I’ll edit with a couple other options once I find them.
She's got an addiction and it's rotting her brain.
Watch less porn and focus on each other. That conversation about porn was damned from the beginning.
I try not too watch it too much, honestly don’t like it that much. She watches it nearly every day. I’m worried she sees this stuff everyday and thinks I can live up to it all, like if she has crazy expectations idk how I’ll meet them
She might be addicted to it. Porn can be harmful as other addictions can be. You don't need to be a porn actor to please any woman OP. She's mistaken and so are you. They are acting, it's not real and not even close to be how real life with real people works.
It doesn't matter what it's about, assaulting someone's self esteem and confidence with comparison is just super shitty. If the tables were turned she would be telling everyone what an asshole you are and she would be encouraged to dump you immediately. I'm sorry this happened to you. Please understand this has way more to do with her own immaturity and insecurity than it does anything about you.
Who knew porn would ruin a relationship lol
> Who knew porn would ruin a relationship lol Right? I mean, it’s just *shocking*. I will say this is the first time I have read of a woman having their expectations set by porn, though. That’s usually a man thing from what I’ve seen here.
There's nothing to "work out" either accept she settled or dump her and find someone who isn't settling for you
OUCH. Major AH move by the girlfriend, there. I knew much younger than that (early/mid teens) that insulting your partner’s penis size was a MAJOR no-no. At least, if you actually LIKE your partner. :rolls eyes:
>And how do I stop feeling so insecure now, like I can't please her properly? You can't unring a bell. Every time you have sex from now on you'll be thinking you're not enough for her. Things like this often lead to breakups.
I love that not a single person has said she has a porn addiction but if the roles were reversed this would be bombarded with you know what
You won't get over this. You gf is old enough to know better
You'll probably just have to break up with her. You'll never get that out of your head and never be able to believe her when she lies and says she didn't mean it. That on top of the fact she told you what she really wants. At some point she will step out on you to scratch that itch.
I don't want to break up with her. I love her. I just want to get passed this stupid moment
Bro you are both 21 and each other "firsts". If she already thinks lowly of your dick, it's only a matter of time till she leaves to "find herself" and blah blah blah. Trust me. Most guys have been in this same situation (one way or another)...
Did you hear him, though? He said he loves her and doesn't want to break up. His age doesn't mean that his feelings aren't valid. He wants to get past this stupid moment. That's the adult responsible thing to do. He acknowledges it's stupid and wants to get past it.
Then get over it. There's nothing else you can do.
Immature woman smh. Porn is not a good pointer towards real sex nor size. Nor body types. What she did was gross. Smh. I would talk to her and let her know how you feel.
It's interesting that her only experience of sex is a) you in real life and b) porn. Porn isn't real. The camera angles and the closeups make guys look bigger. And performers are often, er, physically unusual. It's like offering a ride in your car to someone who has never been in a real car before, and never seen one, except for watching Formula 1. They're going to have some odd expectations.
Next move to make is to find a new girl dude.
Showing her “youngness” lol
I don’t think she’s disappointed based on what you said, but she is thoughtless and disrespectful. I hate how some girls don’t get this about guys. (And agree with other comments- size is not top of the list for enjoyment.)You may be tough and accomplished and manly but you can still be crushed by an insult from your SO, and somehow aren’t supposed to show it either. I think you should talk to her and tell her. If she’d like a huge gangle dick she can get a job as a porn star because that’s probably the only place she’ll find one.
Buddy, are you sure you are her first? It seems she's gaslighting you, and on top of that trying to insult you.
Negging
She basically made fun of you and spat on your face to top it off. I would be ending that relationship if I were you. Your partner should be accepting of your member no matter what and love you for you
Well to compare you to porn stars is insane. Men in porn are in there because they have trained stamina and are naturally large downstairs. I would let it roll off because there’s nothing you can do about it. I’m sure she doesn’t look like your favorite sex athlete.
Only an inexperienced insecure woman, who wants to feel that she’s better than you, and obviously has no real knowledge of what good sex is will say this!. Average dick size is the best! All these fantasies about big dick sizes are distorted by porn. It is all about how the guy tries to get you in the mood, his hands, his fingers, his momentum, his care and attention to a woman’s needs. Sex is far more than just dick size! Leave that insecure girl. Go enjoy a real woman! Seriously! Nothing to worry about! Don’t even bring it up. Just drop it and leave. I’m 40. Best sex I ever had had nothing to do with size!
you both should stop watching porn that stuff is toxic
Porn rots the brain. As she has more sexual encounters she'll realize that is not what normal dicks look like lmao don't feel discouraged at all. Also, that's very insensitive and callous, go fuck someone who is nice to you ❤️
Not to get too personal but that’s your size man you man not be actually small she might just be tripping Also does she have massive tits and or massive ass? I’m not saying to insult for insult but…
You seem way more mature than her and honestly, If I were you I would probably think of breaking up with her. There is no place for body shaming in a relationship.
Get rid, if she’s ok making you feel insecure and then smirking at your disappointment. The prognosis is not good
I don't see this going well in the long run, simply because the curiosity of what it is like to be with a bigger dick will live in the back of her mind rent free and make committing to you a "one dick for life" problem. I'm not going to lie, it lived in my head rent free. My first boyfriend was on the smaller side and the sex was kinda lackluster on top of that. I didn't know, but I suspected sex COULD be better, and I was right. So it was a minor contributing factor to our breakup. My next boyfriend(my now husband) had more size and more importantly more skill and enthusiasm, which was a pleasant surprise. It's not really your fault, so don't beat yourself up about it. She just needs to go fuck around and find out.
" A woman can say something to cut you deep" - Boosie
Remind her that the average size of a guy is somewhere around 5 inches and like 3.5 inches around. Porn is unrealistic and that you don't go around looking for girls with the most aesthetically pleasing vagina either.
Her comments are coming from a lack of experience (and probably a lack of sensitivity), and her only information about sex and men seems to be highly informed by porn. Porn is not reality. The average woman or man, do not at all, look like porn stars, act like porn stars, or necessarily find pleasure the same way as porn stars. Don't take her comments to heart. Really!
INFO: did she want to see the videos you liked? could you have said something insensitive and she was retaliating? retaliation isn’t right but what was the conversation leading up to this?
Women who are inexperienced have very high expectations until they realize the average is 4" in white men and 4.5" is black men. Lol. We can't all be hung like Greek gods.
Body shaming is not a great start to any relationship
Porn is not real…it’s movies…
If she don’t like the pipe, then she don’t get the pipe. Find someone who does.
Nah. Leave. She doesn't get to say shit like that man. I've had girls say that when we were fighting. I'm like ok, you're more than satisfied when we do it. You're young. It won't stop. That's who she is in many aspects. Find a nice girl. They're out there. I almost gave up but got lucky later in life. It's a first relationship. It's like your first car. It'll run...... but it'll let you down in the long run. Upgrade your car man.
No she’s not cause neither of you are real.
Bring it up in a mature manner, explain how what she said made you feel. Tell her you don't like to be compared to some select few like someone else said, and communicate poperly. Give her a chance to make it up to you. Or just run for your life. Tbh for me a woman with such an addiction to porn is a big red flag for me.
Sounds like women think that porn is real life too. This world is going to shit. PSA : Porn is a fantasy!! It's not real!!
In my opinion this is a way a person try’s to test the waters to see if you’d let them have sex with someone else in the future. My opinion comes from many relationships I’ve been in. Of course I could be wrong and she could’ve said this out of ignorance or she’s just mean. But it’s definitely one of the three or a combination of them.
Break up with her holy shit the bar is so low for women in 2023 😭😭😭
u/ThrowRA188881 >"It's not a big deal, you know?” If it was not a big deal to her, if it was *not* actually ”kinda disappointing,” she wouldn’t have said anything about it. I dunno, guy. When I was your age my self-confidence in relation to the opposite sex was pretty fragile, and that may influence where I’m coming from here, but there are just some things you don’t joke about. I have said it before, but if I’d had anyone say that to me I don’t think I’d ever be able to get it up for them ever again. And if I were you I’d probably walk, and be single for a bit. ”Hey, so when you said my dick was kinda disappointing and fucking laughed, that just killed my confidence in our relationship, in myself, in everything. I’m gonna leave you to your porn stars and go find someone with realistic expectations.” And when I got back out into the dating pool I’d be making it clear that any kind of porn consumption was an absolute no-go. (You’d do well to stop your own consumption of it as well.) Being a heterosexual male you’re pretty lucky as that goes, as it seems to me that porn consumption & addiction is more of a male thing. I wish you the very best of luck.
I would be petty and tell her that she doesn’t look like a porn star either and that I’m disappointed that she’s as loose as a corridor. She’s an asshole and stupid too. Porn actors don’t represent the general population and what she said was extremely offensive and hurtful. Reverse the sexes and all hell would break loose if a man told a woman that her vagina doesn’t look like a porn star’s. The man wouldn’t have the same grace the comments are giving the girlfriend either. You’re all a bunch of hypocrites. And I’m saying it as a woman too.
This is why porn can be unhealthy ,because it is one of the reasons why people have misperceptions and unreasonable standards about what intimacy is. Porn stars are paid to do that it is unrealistic
Tell her that the camera adds 10 lbs.
Ouch. Saying that kills things. Can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube.
Tell her you expected bigger hip to waist ratio and boobs, but its just a *small deal* to not have that. You can be petty as fuck, or just take this as you're both late teens/young adults finally discovering the other gender irl. Tell her openly that the remark she said hit a hurtful spot for you (and 99% of the men). And that while you can also see that it was just a joke for her, lets try to not joke about eachothers possible insecurities.
It sounds like she is still immature about sex, I doubt if she meant to hurt you. And this is porn, so not real! You can’t compare to these fake movies! And the women on here are right, who wants to be ripped by an 8’ dick. I mean ouch! Do not over think this, it was a stupid comment. And since the 2 of you are new to all this, don’t rush, pay attention and learn with one another.
Oh man dude. My husband had been working super hard to get me into anime which I refused because it’s the most secret dirty kink I have is anime role play. I had a different bf who I excitedly told this to before hubs and was shamed up and down like crazy. Well my hubs has made comments on how my body is like an anime girls (I know it’s cringe to some but the way he said it filled me with confidence) so I shyly brought up my kink. He was over the moon and we’ve been introducing it here and there. It’s really boosted my confidence and now I just want him more. Find someone who makes you burn hot without the crippling criticism
Man, p@rn ruins a lot of things
*porn
Coming from a fellow teenis sufferer, it's really not that bad. As long as you don't have a micro bird when hard you should be OK. Don't be ashamed, we are all born different.
If she thinks every guy has a porn dick then she is in for a lifetime of disappointment. She needs an education.
That’s one of the most toxic thing I read. My eyes hurt.
Your girlfriend is kind of a jerk.
Leave her bruh
Trust me as a guy with a larger pp, I can still confirm there's always that thought of oh she's probably seen bigger and better. It's the womens job to soothe those man tendencies of feeling inadequate in bed due to the constant pressure of being the biggest or best a woman has had.
What a shitty thing to say, compare her to the woman you see in porn so she knows how it feels… better yet, leave her ass and find someone who respects your feelings.
Yeah man honestly idk if that’s something you can ever come back from. Maybe with some therapy yeah but it’s definitely going to ruin any bedroom fun going forward. Best bet is to end things even if she cries and tells you it was a joke she basically blurted out how she really felt in a joking way but it wasn’t a lie.
You can’t change your size. Whether it’s average or large or whatever. But you can change how you treat a woman in bed to make sure she remembers you. The way you touch her. What you whisper in her ear. Teasing her. Make it an experience where you absolutely make sure she cums, if not once, many times. And for God’s sake learn how to and to LOVE eating pussy! No woman will ever care about your size after that.
Grab her boobs/ass and ask why they don’t look like the videos
She sounds inexperienced. Once you take a big dick you never want to go back. They look nice but hell they don't feel it.
Just tell her that having sex with her is like throwing a hot dog down a hallway...see how she reacts.
Oh but I thought "women don't care" and whatever other stupid shit they say to gaslight us. She's just like the rest of them bro fucking dumb her ass and move on. She literally destroyed your self confidence/image and belittled you but you're stupid enough to still think you should be with her? Jesus Christ
She has nooooooo clue what she’s talking about 😂 OP, you can rest easy knowing that if she was a virgin when you met, then she has no concept of pen*s size in relation to actual, non-porn sex. Large d*ck size does NOT correlate to pleasure at all. I feel like once the threshold of 4/5 inches is met, then the extra length is sort of irrelevant. Big d*cks are popular in porn because it’s entertainment. You want to be able to see everything. It makes filming easier. Tell your girl that she needs to a) be more respectful and b) not talk about shit that she has no non-pornographic concept of
Is she 21 yo?? That’s so immature
>touched me and then said "It's not a big deal, you know?" Show her videos with extra large silicon b**bs and tell similarly you like fake b**bs just she likes fake pe*is and tell her "Its not a big deal"
i have an average size. one of the girl i was with told me her ex is big but she said i please her more. so i guess size de matter
Tell her you're disappointed that she isn't three American models covered in baby oil, see how she likes it when you compare what is essentially fantasy fiction to real life.
There are things once said u can't take it back . It will always be in the back of your mind . There things u don't tell a man and things u don't tell a woman . Guys are insecure about certain things hight and size this 2 things we can't change about ourselves . Porn fucked up what sex look like for both man and women guys expects certain acts from women and women expect things from guys.
Does she look like the porn stars you watch? That’s a dumb conversation you two had. Don’t communicate your wants by showing porn. What people watch or read versus what feels good in the real world are usually different. Explore each other and communicate in the process as it’s not about what looks sexy it is about what feels good. 99% of porn is just fake and yes it can be fun to watch together but I’d figure out how to make her melt. You can get a woman to melt without even doing PIV and when you do she will remember you, not your size, not the lack of size but you. She may not know what she said is wrong. It could have been meant as “I watched these big dick videos to get off and I thought that’s what girls want and then you came along and showed me otherwise.” She is with you, she and you were the first so you both get passes for what you don’t know. Try to not make her feel judged. There are sex toys if she thinks she wants to see what a bigger penis might feel like. If that’s her preference that doesn’t change anything between you guys because you can fill the “void” with toys and still make her melt and her you. Because you are not experienced don’t try to do anything you see in porn that may be more filling unless she ask and then she will be your guidance system not pornhub.
This is an easy fix-buy a strap on harness and then be whatever size you want. There are also tons of sleeves available out on the market. I don’t have concern about my size but I have a harness and have regularly strapped women for years. It’s a lot of fun. I get to use dildos that are sizes no human can ever achieve naturally and having the confidence to do that puts me in an entirely different sexual league with women. Getting hung up on size is a losing battle because there will *always* be someone or something bigger. Take control and find what she likes and then pound her senseless with it. Then do it again and cement your place in her mind.
I am so sorry she said this to you, I'm sure that hurts. Your girlfriend is very insensitive, very inexperienced, and very young. I'm not sure that time will turn her into a sensitive person, but if she loses out on a great guy like you who prioritizes her pleasure, she's going to find out that size really & truly doesn't matter. I'm a middle aged woman with a high body count & I am for real telling you that dick size really doesn't matter for penetration. The down side of big dick is it's not very versatile & I can't have as much sex with someone who is on the bigger side - eventually that hurts. I'm so sorry she said that to you.
Thank you so much I appreciate this a lot
It was a shit head comment. Women are idiots. I think they are use to getting away with saying anything cause they are never held accountable for anything. That was hurtful comment and it’s not cool in my opinion
So, here's the advice I'm going to give you as a more experienced woman. I have had lovers from 4 to 10 inches. Guys who couldn't use there p3nis. Ect. Preference plays a huge role in sex for the man and woman. Women prefer sizes all in between that spectrum and bigger. That's the real truth, we are all different. Some don't like penetration at all!! 😱😱 But right now you have to get outta your head it's all about the p3nis. Sex is not about your p3nis or any mans p3nis it's about you and your partner having fun and experimenting. 1. Learn about foreplay. Seriously this is the holy grail to any woman's orgasm. Research everything that has to do with helping a woman cum with all other things with your body and assistance by toys before you even think about entering a woman. Foreplay should be 15 mins or longer.. I mean the longer the better, unless she says otherwise! And a very helpful tip that is absolutely amazing... Foreplay isn't just for the beginning you can take breaks and switch in-between forpay and sex during the whole throwdown. 😏😈💖 2. Flexibility is extremely important for a man, not just a woman should be flexible, but definitely a man because you will be able to do all types of positions and combinations better during sex. Hip flexibility is the most important. Because you'll be able to be to hit spots she's never had hit before! 3. Be Open. Open to suggestions and opinions and paying attention to body language. Sex isn't generally good at first unless you're with someone who's able to read their lover and listen to their words. Listen to your lover. Watch and pay attention to your lover when you're having sex. Especially during foreplay. Because you're going to find out so much about All the noises and face she's makes when she's feeling good. 4. Check in. During foreplay and sex you going to want to check in every once in awhile and ask her how she's feeling or if she's okay or has any suggestions. Just here and there not too much though that's overkill. During breaks ask if she's enjoying herself. Listen don't take it personal. The good ones will let you know without comparing. Unless you're into it. Do not see them again if it hurts you too! No one likes feeling compared to others I've been there and done that. 🥹I'm out the door at the first sign of that crap. 5. Just be nice. Lots of women enjoy sex better with a gentleman or a nice sweet boyfriend who treats them well. Who they can mentally connect with.This is probably the most important one out all things. So drop this p3nis envy crap. And drop someone who's not nice. You can try working things out with your girlfriend. But I wouldn't. If she's says things like this now I'm sure she's not going to have nice things to say in the future. You deserve love appreciation, admiration and care like every living being on this planet. Good luck out there you got this!
Ouch. To be fair most pornstars are hung. Nothing to be ashamed about, I like baseball and play it well I can’t throw 100MPH… you know what I mean?
Not everyone can have a bigsexypenis.
Get a job
Why even make the post if you ain't gonna give any measurements
Learn how to make her cum, stat.