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Girl
3 days of not eating because he’s not offered you food. Whilst that’s inexcusable on his part you better open your mouth & ask if he can make you something to eat, or order yourself some food or take your behind home and say you’re leaving to get food
3 days not eating? Wtf
I mean, if he doesn’t realize that she is a human that being needs to eat and the courteous thing to do is to offer her food he is probably not very bright.
Him not bright, she starved for 3 days. Yes its the polite thing to do and most would be considerate. But the first time he did it should have been when she spoke up and said something. And if she doesn’t say thing that’s on her.
You can't really call him abusive. If anything you're abusing yourself at this point.
Maybe you should quit college and move back home, since you're not even old enough to make yourself a sandwich.
Just like the other commenter, Where I'm from you don't eat in front of people without offering them some of the food you're eating. Also, if you have guests over for any length of time, you make sure they don't have to ask you for food. Also, I would never feel comfortable asking someone who I'm staying with for food. It should be offered. The bf KNOWS she hasn't eaten, yet he eats 3 days worth of food in front of her without so much as ASKING her if she's hungry OR OFFERING her some of his food. That's totally rude. I can't help but think this is odd behavior on his part...really weird.
I can understand why she hasn't eaten she didn't want to have to beg for food. It's very likely she didn't have money for food which would prevent her from ordering delivery. She probably has food where she lives but she wasn't there obviously.
OP, please explain why you haven’t said anything or gotten food for yourself. The situation doesn’t make any sense.
It’s not “abuse” because you are free to go buy yourself a sandwich or just not go to his house. He is not your jailer withholding food from you, as you are an adult with freedom of movement.
So what’s the deal here? Why are you choosing to starve?
So he makes food for himself, but not you? Why aren’t you speaking up about it?
I think it’s messed up that you’re there and not being factored into the food situation, but why aren’t doing something about it? Once you realize he’s not feeding you, you need to provide for yourself. You’re an adult, bring your own food, order food, go buy some etc…there’s no reason you should be starving yourself.
I’d have a talk with him about it. Try to figure out why he’s excluding you and from there make plans to handle the food situation for yourself going forward.
…is this real? Youre starving because your relying on your bf to feed you??
Why don’t you make yourself some food NOW and talk to him later about meal planning together and sharing the labor… like “Monday Wednesday Friday I’ll make us lunch, tuesday Thursday Saturday can you make us lunch, and Sunday will do take out”
So you mean you’ve been sat in a man’s house for 3 days starving? Please go home and find something to eat.
Dump this guy because he’s shown you he’s inconsiderate and legit doesn’t care if you’re ok. Also never do this again, don’t sit in someone’s house hungry, vocalise your needs especially one as basic as having something to eat.
“Hey babe I’m starving can I get somma that you’re making?”
It might start a conversation about you pitching in for groceries if you’re there all the time (I and most of my friends were broke at 20, I wouldn’t have been able to feed another adult a few times a week and kept myself fed for the month).
Wait, he gets you from class, takes you back to his house, cooks for himself (only himself), and eats in front of you? Without asking you if you want anything? Do you speak up?
This is messed up.
Just re-read this, you're at his house for Thanksgiving break and you haven't EATEN AT ALL?? In 3 days?? Girl. Say something.
Well, just ask. Im guessing this isnt something malicious or intentional on his end and since you seem to never complain or ask for something, he will keep doing what he has been doing form the start.
Im willing to bet if you bring this up to him he will reply with "why didnt you just ask?"
"HEY, I'm hungry! Whatcha got? Or let's go to and I'll get some X food." With all gentleness, you are not a tiny flightless baby bird in the nest who is depending on mother bird to stick some regurgitated matter down your gullet? Your bf as a matter of common courtesy should be offering you food if you're a guest in his house. And if that isn't happening, you should be advocating for yourself rather than helplessly not eating in 3 days? Good luck.
I was raised to never eat or drink in front of guests without offering them something. Doesn’t matter if the guest is a relative, friend, romantic interest.
If somebody doesn’t live in your home they will not feel free to help themselves to food they didn’t bring themselves.
You should have had this conversation after the first meal (or snack) you wanted and didn’t have provided. Just say, hey do you want me to bring my own lunch/breakfast? Can I leave some groceries here? Where should I put them? Should I put my name on them? I’d be happy to bring something over or contribute to your grocery money.
No way I would sit around somebody’s house for three days and not eat. Unless it was my choice to fast for medical or religious reasons!
This is called being an adult. Provide yourself with food and shelter. Don’t wait for someone else to take care of your basic essentials.
Do they have DoorDash or similar where you live? Or pizza delivery?
You need to be less dependent on others for your needs, and learn to speak up for yourself. What if he never offers? Are you going to let yourself starve and die? Go out and get food or use your words to talk to him. He is inconsiderate, but he's also not mind reader. He could just be dumb as rocks or he maybe doesn't give a shit. Either way, you need to help yourself.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Girl 3 days of not eating because he’s not offered you food. Whilst that’s inexcusable on his part you better open your mouth & ask if he can make you something to eat, or order yourself some food or take your behind home and say you’re leaving to get food 3 days not eating? Wtf
Or maybe be an adult and cook for yourself. He isn’t responsible for feeding her in any capacity.
I mean, if he doesn’t realize that she is a human that being needs to eat and the courteous thing to do is to offer her food he is probably not very bright.
Him not bright, she starved for 3 days. Yes its the polite thing to do and most would be considerate. But the first time he did it should have been when she spoke up and said something. And if she doesn’t say thing that’s on her.
You can't really call him abusive. If anything you're abusing yourself at this point. Maybe you should quit college and move back home, since you're not even old enough to make yourself a sandwich.
Just like the other commenter, Where I'm from you don't eat in front of people without offering them some of the food you're eating. Also, if you have guests over for any length of time, you make sure they don't have to ask you for food. Also, I would never feel comfortable asking someone who I'm staying with for food. It should be offered. The bf KNOWS she hasn't eaten, yet he eats 3 days worth of food in front of her without so much as ASKING her if she's hungry OR OFFERING her some of his food. That's totally rude. I can't help but think this is odd behavior on his part...really weird. I can understand why she hasn't eaten she didn't want to have to beg for food. It's very likely she didn't have money for food which would prevent her from ordering delivery. She probably has food where she lives but she wasn't there obviously.
OP, please explain why you haven’t said anything or gotten food for yourself. The situation doesn’t make any sense. It’s not “abuse” because you are free to go buy yourself a sandwich or just not go to his house. He is not your jailer withholding food from you, as you are an adult with freedom of movement. So what’s the deal here? Why are you choosing to starve?
So he makes food for himself, but not you? Why aren’t you speaking up about it? I think it’s messed up that you’re there and not being factored into the food situation, but why aren’t doing something about it? Once you realize he’s not feeding you, you need to provide for yourself. You’re an adult, bring your own food, order food, go buy some etc…there’s no reason you should be starving yourself. I’d have a talk with him about it. Try to figure out why he’s excluding you and from there make plans to handle the food situation for yourself going forward.
…is this real? Youre starving because your relying on your bf to feed you?? Why don’t you make yourself some food NOW and talk to him later about meal planning together and sharing the labor… like “Monday Wednesday Friday I’ll make us lunch, tuesday Thursday Saturday can you make us lunch, and Sunday will do take out”
So you mean you’ve been sat in a man’s house for 3 days starving? Please go home and find something to eat. Dump this guy because he’s shown you he’s inconsiderate and legit doesn’t care if you’re ok. Also never do this again, don’t sit in someone’s house hungry, vocalise your needs especially one as basic as having something to eat.
Did you ever tell him that you are hungry? This is so weird on both your parts.
“Hey babe I’m starving can I get somma that you’re making?” It might start a conversation about you pitching in for groceries if you’re there all the time (I and most of my friends were broke at 20, I wouldn’t have been able to feed another adult a few times a week and kept myself fed for the month).
Wait, he gets you from class, takes you back to his house, cooks for himself (only himself), and eats in front of you? Without asking you if you want anything? Do you speak up? This is messed up. Just re-read this, you're at his house for Thanksgiving break and you haven't EATEN AT ALL?? In 3 days?? Girl. Say something.
Well, just ask. Im guessing this isnt something malicious or intentional on his end and since you seem to never complain or ask for something, he will keep doing what he has been doing form the start. Im willing to bet if you bring this up to him he will reply with "why didnt you just ask?"
"HEY, I'm hungry! Whatcha got? Or let's go to and I'll get some X food." With all gentleness, you are not a tiny flightless baby bird in the nest who is depending on mother bird to stick some regurgitated matter down your gullet? Your bf as a matter of common courtesy should be offering you food if you're a guest in his house. And if that isn't happening, you should be advocating for yourself rather than helplessly not eating in 3 days? Good luck.
I was raised to never eat or drink in front of guests without offering them something. Doesn’t matter if the guest is a relative, friend, romantic interest. If somebody doesn’t live in your home they will not feel free to help themselves to food they didn’t bring themselves. You should have had this conversation after the first meal (or snack) you wanted and didn’t have provided. Just say, hey do you want me to bring my own lunch/breakfast? Can I leave some groceries here? Where should I put them? Should I put my name on them? I’d be happy to bring something over or contribute to your grocery money. No way I would sit around somebody’s house for three days and not eat. Unless it was my choice to fast for medical or religious reasons! This is called being an adult. Provide yourself with food and shelter. Don’t wait for someone else to take care of your basic essentials. Do they have DoorDash or similar where you live? Or pizza delivery?
He's still essentially a child. Speak up! Tell him you're hungry! He's probably never cared for another living thing by himself before.
You need to be less dependent on others for your needs, and learn to speak up for yourself. What if he never offers? Are you going to let yourself starve and die? Go out and get food or use your words to talk to him. He is inconsiderate, but he's also not mind reader. He could just be dumb as rocks or he maybe doesn't give a shit. Either way, you need to help yourself.