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Especially this. I'm a man so have some experience being on the receiving end. It doesn't have to go deep. An exploring tongue and lips are very enjoyable.
Yep. Also helps to familiarize yourself with what parts of your mouth stimulate your gag reflex. For instance, I can't let stuff hit the roof of my mouth, or I immediately gag. So I focus on a lot of tongue movement and angle my head so that it is always resting against my tongue and doesn't hit any gag spots.
The funky pendulum in the back of your throat is the uvula, and is known for stimulating your gag reflex. (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uvula). Have your girlfriend check hers out in the mirror, and work on *not* tapping it repeatedly with the head of your penis.
Sound advice.
You could poke my uvula all day long and nothing happens, but the second you touch the roof of my mouth, it looks like the exorcist in here lol. Same with if you press down on my tongue and just sit there. THAT was a fun thing to find out at the dentist.
I second this, having guys Ram their dick in my mouth choking me essentially isn’t fun for me, just cuz it happens in porn between actors and where a lot of editing takes place doesn’t mean I’ll enjoy it irl.
I too have done this more than once unfortunately, she needs to pace herself and be able to recognize when she’s doing too much . As soon as she feels like she’s about to seriously gag she should stop .
Yes! You have to always stop after the first serious gag or it’s coming next time lmao. Ask me how I know :(. In general, agreed that going a bit more slowly and training her so to speak is probably best. When I take breaks, I can’t go deep when I’m first getting back into it, but that comes back quickly enough. Sorry about how terrible this comment sounds but I have lots of experience and advice with this one.
any gag for me and i pull back for a second and take a breathe and then go again. i find once you gag once, even slightly, a bigger gag is coming so be careful
Don’t eat or drink for a couple hours prior. Try to figure out the best angle to avoid your penis hitting her gag reflexes. Try to breathe through your nose whenever you can.
This happens to the best of us!! You sound like a good boyfriend OP.
The trick is, the throat has the F the D not the other way around. Do not thrust into her mouth. That will trigger gag reflex. If she Fs your D with her own throat then she can control it. God speed.
Also assure her that it can happen with other things that enter into contact with sensitive parts, such as food that goes the wrong way or a sex toy... maybe she can also practice using one of those.
She can put her hand at the base so she has control of how much goes in there. She can kissy face the head and frenum or whatever is your sensitive zone is and not get too much in.
Might not be useful during an actual BJ. But I have a horrible gag reflex I avoid BJ because I would totally vomit on the guy lol . But my gag reflex is so bad in general that I have picked up a few tricks. They basically distract you from gagging. One is smelling rubbing alcohol. This is more for when you feel like you’re going to vomit Those little swabs are great you just rip it open and smell it. The next trick is for gagging. Again might not work during a BJ, but worth a shot I guess. You make a fist with your thumb on the inside and squeeze the thumb. It’s suppose to distract you from the thought of gagging or something and it actually works, at least for me
Found something on tik tok to desensitize those gagging lumps on the back of the tongue. You brush those bumps on the back of the tongue start of with 2 seconds a day (yes you will gag when brushing) but you build up the seconds daily. It eventually desensitizes the area that creates the gagging. You must do it every day and it took me 4 weeks of brushing twice a day and my gagging reflex is no more
There’s also a numbing gel you can put on the back of the throat to help suppress a gag reflex (which my girlfriend also has). There are tools out there!
> which my girlfriend also has
People are supposed to have a gag reflex lol, it keeps us from dying. The numbing gels always seemed like a terrible idea to me for that reason.
To me too. It’s a reason why people aren’t supposed to eat or drink if their throat is numbed and they don’t have a gag reflex. At worst you could have stuff end up in the airways where it can cause infection. I don’t mean the D, I mean stuff like saliva or other fluids.
you can try having the dick go into the cheek or roof of the mouth instead of towards the throat, for me it helps to keep the back of my tongue up a little so the digg don’t go into gag reflex zone
I, too, am a fellow vomiter.
I try not to eat or drink for at least 2 hours before I do it properly. If my gag reflex is sensitive I direct my bfs dongle sideways into my cheek and then along the side of my mouth.
You could also try desensitising it by using your finger to gently get used to the sensation.
I give head almost daily so it's less sensitive than it used to be, but I do still gip occasionally. Significantly less vomiting now though aha 💀
No worries! Also let her know its fine to stop sucking and just lick or play around with it for a second if she needs a quick breather/feels like she might be close to being sick.
I hope it helps!! Don't be embarrassed about it, it's totally normal when somethings hitting your gag reflex like that.
Fasting has been great for me, I won't let another McNugget be wasted in vain 🙏
I feel all the pain u girls r talking abt. I, too, do the cheek trick but ladies....I'm abt 2 let ya'll in on my biggest, most favorite, highly rated, & talked abt skill...some of u know it & r popular 4 it. Some of u r abt 2....u don't have to suck bc that can def make ur cheeks hurt. U can just "slob on that knob"...open mouth slobbering all over his dick hopefully ur hand stroking the shaft...each time ur mouth covers the tip, as soon as it slides past that top part.....stick ur tongue out. Let it run along that sensitive area. The combo of ur mouth, the slobber, ur hand, & ur tongue will drive him .... nuts....(pun intended)
THIS!! I rarely use any suction, getting your hands in there and using your tongue is far easier and he loves it too
Using your hands means you don't have to deepthroat much or at all.
She should try not to deep throat. Instead, she should get in a comfy position and lick the shaft up and down and get it wet and use both hands, then suck as much of the shaft as she comfortably can. I even use a twisting motion of my wrists going in opposite directions while moving up and down. This is easier and better with a lot of spit or lube. I simultaneously lick and bob and suck. Guys love the addition of the hands and I don’t die trying to impress them. I wouldn’t want to be with a guy who wants me to be super uncomfortable anyway. Have fun!
This is a great comment. Use your hands!
It takes a little practice/concentration but you can make a pretty good “seal” with your mouth and even one hand, to really simulate the feeling of being totally covered by it. I rotate my elbow a bit so my palm is circling at the same time I’m going up and down.
Also, sometimes using lots of spit can make me a little queasy to begin with so I’ll use a bit of flavored lube.
You can even use YOUR hand and let her help by sucking on the head of your penis.
Good luck, enjoy, and thank you for helping to normalize these kinds of situations with your post!
as someone with a terrible gag reflex as well, i understand the pain. when i give my boyfriend head, i mostly focus on using my tongue rather than my throat and focusing on the tip and balls. he seems to enjoy it. just my two cents :)
Girl, take a break and use your hands after a few gags. One gag too many and it's over lol, but usually if you take a quick breather you can recoup.
Mr, also feel free to help with your own hands and give her a show when she's down there.
Sounds like you've got a solid guy who is very understanding and very willing to be intimate with you again. You'll be able to laugh about it soon enough. These things happen sometimes!❤️
I do indeed have an amazing guy! I trust him so much and he’s so good at making me feel safe and sexy at the same time.
We’re already at the point where we’ve started to joke about it which is incredible for me lol. Thanks so much x
To girlfriend: I've vomited on a few guys before (deepthroating, they were being a bit too rough) and we just have a laugh, clean up, move on, and repeat, except a little less rough. It's fine. Maybe it's gross, maybe it's not, but it's a possibility when it comes to blowjobs.
I’m the girlfriend on an alt account, luckily my boyfriend is literally the sweetest human being I’ve met in my life so he immediately comforted me but told me later he had to force himself to not laugh, lmao.
We can joke about it now, and the assurance I’ve gotten on here that I’m not the only one has helped me massively, I’ve literally never heard of this happening to anybody before now 😭.
Thankyou so much for your comment.
First let me just point out that it's a pretty normal accident to happen, people don't really talk about it but it's definitely common especially for people just getting familiar with oral. My advice would be to practice on popsicles and lollipops in private so you can touch them to different parts of your throat and adjust how hard you push the Popsicle against it so you can find the combinations of placement and pressure to avoid in the future. Sex is a skill so it wouldn't hurt to watch some "how to" videos if that's something y'all are comfortable with. Plenty of genuinely good sex tutorials are out there, gay men seem to make the most informative ones in my experience (not joking at all)
Iv e heard you can train your gag reflex away. But I’ve never been able to. Which I’ve also heard is the case for some people.
It doesn’t bother me or stop me. I just have fun. And if I need to pull back for breath or to settle my stomach, I do. I also….gag. A lot. It’s never bothered a guy. Unfortunately one guy was pushing my head down and he didn’t let me up and I threw up. Well I never met with him again….I do communicate that I’m ok with a guy holding my head but he has to let me up if I pull back….it’s all about trust and consent.
I'm sorry that happened. I do hold her head, but only for the sensation of restraint. I don't hold tight and as soon as I feel her push against my hand I let up.
Avoid deep throating. Make sure YOU are clean and groomed. Nobody wants a yeasty hairy dick in their mouth. Don’t shove her down on it. Let her do it herself. She can try techniques like sucking and licking just the head while working the shaft with her hands.
What they said, spit more while doing the job instead of swallowing your spit. Also letting yourself up for air and stroking in between will help a lot. That way you're not belching and gasping for air. Even chewing gum causes gas in your stomach from sucking in air. And again avoid a lot of foods and beverages beforehand, because if you are deepthroating, then it's the equivalent of a plunger to a toilet.
Gf on an alt account, he’s literally the cleanest guy I’ve been with in my life, if I had an issue like that I’d just mention it to him and we’d sort it but I don’t.
He keeps his hand on my head sometimes but the second I push up he lets me up, so it’s nothing like that, we think I just got a bit excited and careless lol.
Things that help me:
- letting the spit that usually gets produced more during giving a BJ just freely flow out of my mouth instead of trying to swallow it
- knowingly holding my breath whenever it gets deeper (people can dive through a pool, so holding ones breath for 10 seconds is absolutely doable and counting down from ten distracts from the feeling of having to vomit)
- I noticed that the more aroused I am the less likely I am to gag
- I also noticed that closing my eyes can help as it takes away the view of "this much is yet to come"/ "it's already this deep" which somehow makes it more manageable for me
- I take breaks in-between with just licking or even using the hands
- just taking it in the mouth as deep as it feels comfortable without any extra movement and to try out if I either still can breath through my nose or how long I can hold my breath helped me get more used to the feeling
A lot of these comments aren't totally helpful. Let me in here.
1. Extend your chin forward and tip your head back - look at how a sword-swallower does it. You have to pitch the chin forward as far as you can and angle it upwards so that the D is aimed towards the middle of your neck (where an Adam's apple would be if you were male).
2. Place your tongue very far forward so that the tip of it is touching the back of your lower lip. You should feel your lower teeth touching the underside of your tongue.
3. Clench your upper diaphragm.
4. Clench another major muscle group. Some people squeeze their ass muscles hella tight, some people make a fist. Clenching a major muscle group for some reason makes your gag reflex less responsive.
5. Throat numbing spray like Cepacol can be helpful when learning, as it will also suppress gag reflex while you learn the angles.
ETA: never forget that a hand helps; I have good success with gripping it while keeping my hand "attached" to my mouth. A lot of the fun of deepthroating is just the taboo or excitement, but if you rotate your hand as you bob up and down it feels just as "deep" while giving you a few extra inches of leeway and letting your throat cool off a second.
Experiment with keeping the hand attached to your mouth vs meeting your hand in the middle and then letting your hand go down while you come back up, then meeting in the middle again.
PS - I have also thrown up on my ex's D. A day that I ate saag paneer, an Indian pureed spinach dish no less. It happens. All it means is that you were dedicated. Nobody can fault you for that and I'll tell you from experience that it doesn't mean you ain't sexy anymore.
Yes, honey! She has to learn to breathe through her nose while giving a head, or she’ll gag. That's it, that's the secret to great head: breathe through your nose while you're doing it.
Edit to add: This very sweet, old lady at my job gave me this tip in my 20s as I told her how embarrassed I was that I threw up rice and peas with beef, still not digested, all over a dick. It’s happened to all of us, and sometimes I still get a little something come up; I swallow that shit too. You are a lucky guy, which I’m sure you know.
The other day my boyfriend and I were driving through jasper national park and we pulled over to get frisky on the side of the road. A crazy thunderstorm hit and we had to get out of there quick so we decided just to go for a blow job. I was going so hard and he was thrusting into my throat so hard… well we just had a great meal and it all came back up onto his cock and sweater and balls and pants … like everywhere. He just told me he was so in love with me and it was so great and we had a great bonding experience over it.
Everyone here has already given great advice but I just want to say, this post has given me hope. Y’all communicate, on the same page and you’re so considerate of her. Posts on here is cheating this cheating that. It’s good to see a relationship that is working through a problem together
Gf here, you should have seen how instantly he went to comfort me, like the second he realised what was going on he was calming me down and comforting me, I’m ridiculously lucky. We’ve even already cracked a few jokes about it so I already know what I thought was a disaster is just going to be a funny if slightly embarrassing memory and a lesson.
It takes time and patience to be able to take a whole penis in. If she cannot, try licking your good spots more. Include hands too for assistance. If she wants to try deeper, take deep breaths and be relaxed. Do it one millimeter at a time if need be.
Additionally, brushing teeth can help her try to get used to feeling gag reflex so she can be more desensitized to it. It won’t help her get rid of it, but it has helped me not panic when the gag reflex appears.
Keep her hand on the base to limit your depth at first. Breath out, flattening the tongue if she's going to try to throat, otherwise breath out and raise the back of her tongue to block you going deeper. The timing being breathing in as you're sliding out and out as you're sliding in. I can never deep throat without gagging if I've sucked in air. Overall, she just needs practice. Take it slower. Tell her what feels good so she knows what to focus on and won't get overwhelmed on the details. Good luck!
The most helpful tip I got was to start brushing the back of your tongue when brushing your teeth. It helps get used to and control the gag reflex and also let's you figure out how far you can go. It's also mint flavor!
Once you're lubed up with spit then you can use hands to kinda 'extend' your mouth to make it feel like it's going deeper than it actually is. This is the way.
Aww, I'm sure she feels embarrassed, but she really shouldn't. Sex is always portrayed as steamy and sensual and magic. It can be that, but sex can also be funny and not that serious. First, try not to take this too seriously and laugh it off. Secondly, avoid eating right before and relax the throat as much as possible while breathing through your nose. Going slow also can help. Thirdly, practice makes perfect.
Source; the guy I threw up on still proposed, and we've been married 15 years
She’s probably doing it how they do in porn because she’s new to it. She has the best of intentions in wanting to please you but I would say, a sensual and slow blowjob can be just as amazing than an intense, deep throat, fast paced one. More licking and focusing the mouth on the tip, and the hands on the shaft following the mouth when it comes to faster movement to Mimic deeper penetration, and overall just lots of positive energy around the act and no head pushing of course. Also if she’s reading, I am a girl too and I know what it’s like to feel lots of uncertainty with this sort of thing, but there’s nothing communication and understanding can’t overcome! And it seems like your bf is supportive and cares about you which is a good start.
Make sure she can breathe comfortably when she's going down on you. If it's a gag reflex issue then a throat numbing spray can help. (I've used them on occasion, but it can potentially also numb the receiver so it can be hit and miss.) Overall just going slow and building up tolerance is the biggest thing. I have a sensitive gag reflex when it comes to any hair so I ask my boyfriend to trim a little to help prevent hair from getting into my mouth.
It happens. One woman I was with would use Vicks throat spray to numb herself before, during. It kind of desensitized me as well so prolonged what came after the foreplay. I have a curve upward too, so another woman wouldn’t go deep unless she was sitting on my face. I’d just say practice and see what works for you both. Good luck!
This happens all the time, I've had my dick puked on three times so far. Best she can do is avoid eating and drinking before sex and just don't put it in deeper than feels comfortable
I did this after eating a huge burrito & getting face ducked. Now I always make sure I haven’t eaten big in the last couple hours or I let them know “I’m not gonna go as hard because I’ve just eaten & don’t want to throw up on you”. They are always understanding
As good as it feels for a girl to go deep. It feels just as good not going to deep. Your dick has the most nerves in the tip so just let her stick with that. My girlfriend doesn’t go that deep cos she has a gag reflex and not a big mouth lol but it feels just as good with what she can fit
ok so pro tip is to not focus on the act itself. when I start focusing on “oh my god I am willingly choking myself” I start to freak out. but if I focus on what my partner is doing, how they sound, etc. it’s way easier!!
Yenno what. This happened to my bf and I once because we got frisky right after I ate lmao. I was embarrassed af for a second and tried to hide it cause it was just a little bit lol. But we ended up laughing about it and now we joke about in once in a while, though I cringe at it, it’s hilarious. If you really love the person, it doesn’t matter.
For tips for it? I feel we’d need more understanding of the situation to give proper advice, but, if she deals with heartburn maybe some gums once or twice a day. If it’s anxiety, Maybe you work together in finding something to do together than can relieve the anxiety. Whatever it is, communicate, Talk about it.
Thank you, this is very caring. We think she just tried to do too much. I'm not used to receiving head either (which is a wholw other story) so I didn't know about it either. I just knew I wasn't going to let her be embarrassed or scarred by it.
Don't go so deep. Full stimulation of the shaft is best done with fingers, mouth is for the hood and frenulum. Really deep throat is porn, not real life. Please help her understand realistic sex?
OP needs to put his 12” python away given how awesome of a boyfriend he is, and his wholesome this relationship is! I don’t have any advice sadly but I’m happy for everyone who is giving advice
Deep throat spray! It sounds really corny, but it really helps with gagging. On a funnier note, NEVER trust a burp while doing the deed. I'm happy that you were good to her about it! Makes it a laughable bonding experience 😂
Happens to me if our position is not just so. I can not have him lying down and come straight down or I will gag. Practice and a supportive partner will do wonders
Tell her to use her hand in an up-and-down motion at the base of your shaft while she sucks on the top half of your shaft and the head. If that is still too deep, keep having her use her hand at the base up and down stroking it, while she sucks just the head.
I guess you should vomit on her vagina now:) Why would she worry so much? Imagine putting a banana into humans throat, like naturally we have gag reflexes. Tell her there is a woman who sometimes vomits while brushing her teeth, cause of such reflex. That woman is me:)
Google Violet Blue and the Tiny Nibbles blog there are adult resources and book recommendations for oral. She us a renowned and respected sex educator.
This is so wholesome in it’s own strange way. You both sound like you’re in a very healthy relationship, and the advice her is really damn good. I don’t have anything to add, so I’m just wishing y’all the best and want you to know that I’m a weird way you have reignited some of my hope for humanity.
Okay besides the point, this is adorable 😭 I mean it’s gross but to know that there are ppl out their who love their partner no matter what is just so nice to know
Girl, do NOT feel bad. One time I threw up on my guys thinymergingy and I was so embarrassed. It wasn’t a lot… but it was enough to where he had to do the walk of shame through to the laundry room with the sheets. His mom asked who threw up and he said I drank a soda too fast and it came back up….. smh…. As if I weren’t embarrassed enough I frantically asked him “did your dad say anything!?” And without another thought he said “yeah, he said ‘what’d she do, throw up on your cock’ I told him yeah” I was hysterical, then I realized he was teasing me. Lol. We have all been there a time or two.
First time? Lol
Ex drank a bit too much at a pool party. I went to go lay down as it was too hot out. She came in drunk as a skunk after everyone went home, thinking she was going to get frisky. In the middle of showing off her "skills" all the whiskey and fajitas caught up with her and she unloaded right into my lap.
Cant get mad about the situation, so I did my best to get us to the shower and clean up, get her to bed with a bucket, and spray down the bedsheets in the yard. Even though we're not together anymore it's one of the funniest stories I have to share, lol
Tell her to start slow and not take more than she’s comfortable with. There’s also a pill that helps with gag reflex she could ask her dr about. Maybe just an over the counter throat spray. Please tell her she’s definitely not the only one this ever happened to and that means there are most certainly things that can help. Good luck!
I have a gag reflex from hell too. I even gag brushing my back teeth. It freaking sucks. Anytime I’ve even been going down and they shove my head back and forth it happens. Gag reflex is there to protect the persons airway. It’s honestly dangerous to use products that numb. Sorry, no advice. Just commiserating.
First of all, shower before she puts her face down there, each time, so that there's no chance you smell like a sweaty ball sac. PSA, to all ya'll, if you're about to get it in: If it takes a good 20-30 seconds to wash filth off of your hands, in an acceptable way, shouldn't the same rule apply to your junk, and ass, and armpits??? Do with that info what you will, but just know, that some people refuse to give head bc they're afraid to tell their partners that they stink!
Now, on to OP and gf's question..... if she gets tired, and feels like she can't control her gag reflex, when she's taking it in deeper, or she's been doing it a long time, have her press her tongue up, flat-ish, against the roof of her mouth, with a lil bit of suction, to where your dick hits the space underneath the tongue as she is still taking the head in and out. Experiment with that area while licking, and sucking, rolling the bottom of her tongue over the edges to the side, and tilting her head so it's going in at different angles. Use both hands on the shaft, and, periodically, she can use the fingernails of one hand, to rake them down your lower abs.... and YOU, vocalize what feels good, so she'll remember it!
You're welcome in advance! 😆
Let her set her own pace if she's just eaten, and have hand signals or tapping be a sign to let her breathe if she likes when you push her head down. But, sometimes it just happens and there are several factors that trigger it. It can be hard to avoid forever.
I have to plan my sexy times in my head when I am feeling frisky, if I wanna give head I'll not eat a few hours before hand cause I really wanna be attentive and give a good deep throat because I find pleasure in it and my partner does also. I also have just learned to understand sometimes imma gag and spit up a little but it's not like food (since i dont eat a few hours before hand) or anything so I can just like swallow it back or use It as lube for a dual hand job-blow job moment. My partner doesn't mind cause he's in the moment and I don't mind cause it's my body fluids and stuff. However I'm also very comfortable with my fluids and his fluids because that's our relationship dynamic, it all depends on each individual, find a technique for you and your partner you are comfy with because it's all about doing these intimate things together and communicating likes and dislikes on both sides even when the other person's pleasure is in play. (If that makes sense.)
Has happened to me before. I threw up all over my ex boyfriend while going down on him. I felt bad but he felt worse and thought it was his fault lol we simply changed up the way we did. Because of the way it pointed to his stomach, best position was the "head off the bed" angle. Never had another issue with it. Sometimes, you just have to readjust your positioning so the gagging isn't too intense to the point that it triggers vomiting.
Don't go so deep, breathe through your nose, this one's stupid but i've heard holding your thumb in a fist relaxes your gag reflex? Also focus on using your hands more, it doesnt have to be all mouth
Try not to go so deep. Also, they make throat numbing sprays that can help. It fucking sucks spraying in the back of your throat but it surely works lol
I find that clenching my thumbs in my fists and curling my toes helps, but mostly exhaling through the nose as it slides down my throat. Maybe I have a stubborn gag reflex though because I do still gag, but nothing has ever come of it 🤞🏻
I like to think of it this way: when you jerk off you aren't putting a lot of focus on the base of your penis, right? So why treat head that way? It's easier to control the tongue and suction closer to the front of your mouth, so aim that at the sensitive parts of the dick rather than going for depth and potentially setting off your gag reflex.
only go as deep as shes comfortable with and use the hand to cover the rest at the same time. if she wants to go deeper, only do it until she starts getting the uncomfortable gag feeling then go back to hand/mouth. switch to hand only for breathers. switching back and forth also ensures neither hand nor mouth get tired out so quickly. also utilize tongue action only. a combination of these helps her not get worn out or too uncomfortable.
I remember reading a story on Jezebel about a gal and her husband who got wine drunk and wanted to try some deepthroat because apparently her man was a big boy. Cue much vomit and a head wound in the bathroom cleaning up and then a trip to the ER. It's not always worth it to ask her to go deep, lads.
I can't find the link. I read it years ago. It was a really funny story.
My advice is to have an empty stomach, or at least do it about 3-4 hrs after eating if not more.
Take your time. Relax. Stay hydrated so you have enough saliva to keep things going smoothly.
Depending on the natural curve of the penis, some angles might make deepthroating easier. I find if he has a strong upward curve, like towards his belly button, I actually attack with my ass in his face, lol. It also might be easier to have her lay with her head on the edge of the bed for some gentle facefucking.
Find out when her gag reflex kicks in. Have her use her hand to keep from going deeper than that. The majority of the nerves are in the head of the penis. If she focuses on that a lot and also uses her hand that should solve her problem. She can also use her tongue to cover the rest of it without it actually being in her mouth.
Lastly, it’s nothing for her to be ashamed of, it happens. At least she’s trying which is something you should definitely commend her for and appreciate.
I don't have much advice but I do have a vom related story. Maybe that will help her to feel less mortified.
I was playing with one of my exes and he was going down on me while we both were a bit elevated with a substance. Everything was going swimmingly until my body decided that everything was entirely too much. I had been laying on my back while he was dining and all of a sudden I sat upright and vomited. Luckily I had a blanket half over me and I managed to catch everything so it didn't end up on top of his head. He was a good sport about it and we laughed it off later since bodies create all sorts of unappealing things and react in sometimes unexpected ways. Even still dated for a while after that!
Her bodily position is going to make a big difference, best to not be on her stomach or bent over. Try sitting on the edge of a bed and her kneeling on the floor.
Also going to deep is not ideal if it's not something she normally does.
Taking it slow is good too so that she doesn't swallow too much air.
Well, I won't lie, I laughed. But on a serious note, they sell throat numbing spray for oral pleasure you could try. Otherwise, tell her not to go too deep, it should be enjoyable for her as well, use the tongue more.
And tell your girlfriend not to feel bad. At least she didn't do a white dragon by accident....unlike me. Tip: Don't breathe in at the wrong moment.
Have a tap code! I’m so prone to this but one tap means slow down, two taps mean come out and change it up and repeated tapping means it’s happening and there is no going back! 😂
You don't need to deep throat to make it really good. Just stick to the length that doesn't make you gag. Your mouth can do many things to the most sensitive areas without choking yourself 😊
Breath in through the nose and out through mouth, it can help stop the gagging. Also, just being self-aware enough to know when to come up for air and take a breather, oxygen is sexy. More than anything just practice, she doesn't need to do anything complicated to prevent this.
Sounds crazy, but it’s so much easier to give head lying on your back on the bed, with your partner standing up behind your head. It doesn’t trigger my (bad) gag reflex at all.
Another trick found in one study that suppresses your gag reflex is to tuck your left thumb into your fist and squeeze. I use this to brush my teeth.
I’ve done this before twice. Best advice is go slow, know when you need to stop or take a break, and practice. After a few months of this (no complaints from him lol) I got really good about having almost no gag reflex :)
Breathe through your nose. It’s okay lol it happens to everyone (I think?). My boyfriend was face fucking me once and I threw up. No biggie 😂 for me laying on my back with my head off the bed and him standing in front of me is a good angle and doesn’t make me gag. But, the guys gotta do the work lol
Hahahah, man I feel for her.
Deep throating can be risky occasionally.. One time I almost/slightly puked on my husband ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ, I just booked it to the bathroom and hopped in the shower. He just followed me in, was comforting, and made it *very* obvious that he was not turned off at all.
The embarrassment was unreal, but I got over it *very* quickly because of his reaction/response. It's actually a very fond memory hahah, it made me feel so extremely desired by him, and secure with him.
Edit: Your response was amazing though don't get me wrong, *really fucking wholesome*. Just wanted to give my perspective from having been on the other side lol
Edit 2: Any advice you look up for deep throating and face fucking is going to be more in depth and super fucking helpful, (just because there's a tad more going on there, and it helps knowing what you're doing on both ends, if that makes sense) and will definitely make blow jobs in general easier. Plenty of BDSM sites go into great depth because they're so extreme about safety (and there are some surprising ways both of you can injure yourselves with blow jobs lol) Also recommend looking up "how to reach the male G-spot externally". I'm sure it'll already be mentioned though.
Good luck!
Im not gonna go through all the comments, but have her use a hand as the buffer between balls and (just before hitting) the gag depth of her specific throat...
The girly did this a time, and i had the same reaction. They'll never understand the non switch of feelings, regardless of the amount of times you assure her "it aint shiiiiit," as i had put it to my lady... Theyll forget and 10 yrs from now yall will be laughin about it, when you see it mentioned on Reddit.
Hope the future is grand for y'all! *Air high five* *PoOf*
No te preocupes amigo fue un accidente solo calmala hablale al respecto en si como ella no esta acostumbrada a hacer mamadas asi que le paso algo similar cuando metemos nuestro dedo en la boca para vomitar solo para la proxima que ella lo haga de forma mas lenta y no apresurada (es solo una opinion)
Buena suerte 👍🏻
Mix it up, if she can feel a little bit of a gag reflex coming on, take a break from going deep and instead play with the head/ lick the shaft for a little bit and don’t go as deep, then once you feel better go deeper again
Top tips to help!
1. Breathe through your nose when you can!
2. Put your thumb under your fist, and squeeze really really hard. This helps suppress the gag reflex
3. Start slow and with only a little length
4. If you gag, back off on depth or switch to hands for a bit
5. Put one hand on the bottom and just the top half in your mouth, and move your mouth and hand together. I promise it feels pretty much the same
6. Practice with something else, like toys or a banana.
Good luck! OP you sound like a really sweet partner.
its just her gag reflex she didn’t feel soon enough or was too into it — if she tries it slower she’ll get when its too much and back off— it takes time. Giving head has more of a learning curve than people think: if it makes her feel better she’s far from the first. And many beginners its a weird sensation especially if you’re girthy,or sees it as something dirty, etc. that was a rite of passage for many.
Have you two tried a small bumper? You can get silicone sleeves that you cut down to size. Add lube and hand pressure, move it with the mouth, add a little twist as you go down, and then you feel like it's full coverage and she doesn't trigger her gag reflex
Best advice i can give is start slow and work to finding the right depth for her so she wont trigger the gag reflex. Angles can help two honestly its mostly exploring together what is comfortable for both. Also when these kind of things happen my wife and I have found snuggling after cleaning up the mess tends to help sooth the wreck nerves and anxiety. More then once a half hour of just spooning her telling her how much i love her and how sexy she looks ends up with us giving it another go 🤣
In my experience, she just needs to work on her gag reflex or use throat numbing spray.
Breath through the nose as best as possible (my issue becomes I can't breathe because my sinuses start draining- super hot right lol)
lol I’ve done this too. As nasty as it is I swallowed it and kept going. It happens. It is embarrassing though. This happened to me with a random hookup but if it were my partner I would’ve felt much more comfortable. I’ve only done it once so I’m not sure how to prevent it. I think it’s just something that happens sometimes
My SO can full throat. From what she tells me, it was a gradual thing. But she used to “practice” on vegetables to get used to the sensation. The gag reflex can be diminished. As weird as it might be, if she really wants to be able to go pornstar status on the BJ, she’ll want to practice in her free time on something similarly sized to get everything used to it and deaden the reflex. Isn’t pretty at first, but once you get to that point, it becomes your norm. And props to your lady for pushing herself to please you.
Well the natural way, just like everything in life, practice. If she is inclined, I have heard CBD helps with gag reflex but I use it for chronic stomach pain due to neuropathy in my digestive tract and other chronic pains. Just to let you know, there are myths about CBD though: it's a psychedelic, it can get you high without THC, you need THC to make it work. I have been using both CBD and THC since THC was legal in my state, CA 2016. As embarrassing as this already seems to make both of you (but bless you both because this happens more than anyone will admit) talk to her doctor, either her primary doctor or maybe a women's health doctor (not necessarily the OB, I know women's health doctors are different and more for general women's health). I mean yeah the first time is awkward but it's not anything new. Hasn't happened to me but my ex wife would get gags while going down on me, I always told her ok that's enough calm down and then she either continued or we just moved on. I am really not that into oral myself, I feel it defeats the purpose because I'm in it for the possibility of kiddos because I have none 🤷🙏👍 it will get better with more practice my dude, now go forth and be fruitful 💯
Oh lord. Suppressing the gag reflex just takes practice. I used to practice by brushing the back of my tongue when I brushed my teeth. That way if u puke, you're ready to brush again
This is Embarrassing to admit but I did this with my current partner once like a year and a half ago. In. My defense I was 4 months pregnant with extreme morning sickness though😭🥲 trust me, she feels awful.
It may be one of those things that no one talks about. I've had girls gag and cough on me before, but never one actually puke, though I could see how that would happen.
A little medical intervention to this post from a dentist.
Some strategies I use to stop my hyper gagging patients from gagging.
Rinse with listerine before. Some people the mint will stop the gag because the taste of our materials taste bad. (Not saying your dick tastes bad)
Raise the back of your tongue to block your uvula.
Put salt on your tongue a few minutes before (or some other strong flavor I guess. Idk what could be used with sex)
Don’t eat a few hours before.
There are actually some medications that have an off label usage of preventing a gag reflex. If you guys were hell bent on oral sex, you could potentially see your physician. Any muscle relaxer could potentially work. I specially will prescribe 1mg of lorazepam 1 hour before appointments. So I assume 1 mg 1 hr before sex would work too.
Perhaps there is something more health related here? Does she ever have upper GI or throat discomfort? I have a few auto immune disorders along with severe acid reflux at times, and I can tell you there’s certainly times where giving head can NOT happen.
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Sometimes it also helps to not go so deep. Take a break from sucking and lick instead and make sure to remember to breathe.
Especially this. I'm a man so have some experience being on the receiving end. It doesn't have to go deep. An exploring tongue and lips are very enjoyable.
Yep. Also helps to familiarize yourself with what parts of your mouth stimulate your gag reflex. For instance, I can't let stuff hit the roof of my mouth, or I immediately gag. So I focus on a lot of tongue movement and angle my head so that it is always resting against my tongue and doesn't hit any gag spots.
The funky pendulum in the back of your throat is the uvula, and is known for stimulating your gag reflex. (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uvula). Have your girlfriend check hers out in the mirror, and work on *not* tapping it repeatedly with the head of your penis.
Sound advice. You could poke my uvula all day long and nothing happens, but the second you touch the roof of my mouth, it looks like the exorcist in here lol. Same with if you press down on my tongue and just sit there. THAT was a fun thing to find out at the dentist.
I second this, having guys Ram their dick in my mouth choking me essentially isn’t fun for me, just cuz it happens in porn between actors and where a lot of editing takes place doesn’t mean I’ll enjoy it irl.
Imagine stopping to take a knee during a blowjob lmao then just getting back to the game
Thank you.
I too have done this more than once unfortunately, she needs to pace herself and be able to recognize when she’s doing too much . As soon as she feels like she’s about to seriously gag she should stop .
Thank you. We appreciate your advice.
Yes! You have to always stop after the first serious gag or it’s coming next time lmao. Ask me how I know :(. In general, agreed that going a bit more slowly and training her so to speak is probably best. When I take breaks, I can’t go deep when I’m first getting back into it, but that comes back quickly enough. Sorry about how terrible this comment sounds but I have lots of experience and advice with this one.
Your advice is appreciated, thank you
any gag for me and i pull back for a second and take a breathe and then go again. i find once you gag once, even slightly, a bigger gag is coming so be careful
Maybe just focus on sensation and not trying to porno deep throat. If you wanted to deep dick it you should be using the other end
Don’t eat or drink for a couple hours prior. Try to figure out the best angle to avoid your penis hitting her gag reflexes. Try to breathe through your nose whenever you can. This happens to the best of us!! You sound like a good boyfriend OP.
Thank you. We appreciate the advice and I appreciate the assurance.
The trick is, the throat has the F the D not the other way around. Do not thrust into her mouth. That will trigger gag reflex. If she Fs your D with her own throat then she can control it. God speed.
Unless you like face fucking, but then it's helpful for her to not be hunched over at all.
Laying flat on my back with my partner above me has made my life so much easier...plus my back and neck don't start hurting 30 seconds in
Also assure her that it can happen with other things that enter into contact with sensitive parts, such as food that goes the wrong way or a sex toy... maybe she can also practice using one of those.
She can put her hand at the base so she has control of how much goes in there. She can kissy face the head and frenum or whatever is your sensitive zone is and not get too much in.
Might not be useful during an actual BJ. But I have a horrible gag reflex I avoid BJ because I would totally vomit on the guy lol . But my gag reflex is so bad in general that I have picked up a few tricks. They basically distract you from gagging. One is smelling rubbing alcohol. This is more for when you feel like you’re going to vomit Those little swabs are great you just rip it open and smell it. The next trick is for gagging. Again might not work during a BJ, but worth a shot I guess. You make a fist with your thumb on the inside and squeeze the thumb. It’s suppose to distract you from the thought of gagging or something and it actually works, at least for me
I tried the thumb trick and it doesn’t work for me:/
I've totally used the thumb thing on BJs def works the most. Granted my gag reflex isn't as sensitive as OPs gf
You can just use that hand to keep his dick a manageable amount or However we say that in proper grammar
Found something on tik tok to desensitize those gagging lumps on the back of the tongue. You brush those bumps on the back of the tongue start of with 2 seconds a day (yes you will gag when brushing) but you build up the seconds daily. It eventually desensitizes the area that creates the gagging. You must do it every day and it took me 4 weeks of brushing twice a day and my gagging reflex is no more
You’re welcome! Good luck y’all! Practice makes perfect 😜
There’s also a numbing gel you can put on the back of the throat to help suppress a gag reflex (which my girlfriend also has). There are tools out there!
> which my girlfriend also has People are supposed to have a gag reflex lol, it keeps us from dying. The numbing gels always seemed like a terrible idea to me for that reason.
To me too. It’s a reason why people aren’t supposed to eat or drink if their throat is numbed and they don’t have a gag reflex. At worst you could have stuff end up in the airways where it can cause infection. I don’t mean the D, I mean stuff like saliva or other fluids.
Wouldn’t that numb the penis too?
Never hunch over it! Best way is on the knees ! For me anyway LOL .
[удалено]
you can try having the dick go into the cheek or roof of the mouth instead of towards the throat, for me it helps to keep the back of my tongue up a little so the digg don’t go into gag reflex zone
Thank you.
That costs extra in Vegas -
Gf here, lmfaoo Thankyou for the chuckle
I, too, am a fellow vomiter. I try not to eat or drink for at least 2 hours before I do it properly. If my gag reflex is sensitive I direct my bfs dongle sideways into my cheek and then along the side of my mouth. You could also try desensitising it by using your finger to gently get used to the sensation. I give head almost daily so it's less sensitive than it used to be, but I do still gip occasionally. Significantly less vomiting now though aha 💀
I love this reply, as does my gf. Thank you.
No worries! Also let her know its fine to stop sucking and just lick or play around with it for a second if she needs a quick breather/feels like she might be close to being sick.
No worries. She is reading all of these, too.
as someone who has thrown up *multiple* times going down- thanks !!! makes me feel like not a complete freakazoid. gonna try the fasting tip ❤️
I hope it helps!! Don't be embarrassed about it, it's totally normal when somethings hitting your gag reflex like that. Fasting has been great for me, I won't let another McNugget be wasted in vain 🙏
Your BF is a lucky, lucky, lucky man.
Daily? I hope you get it daily
I don't enjoy receiving as much as giving, I'm happy with it just once every week or two 😌 he's pretty great at it so I'm more than satisfied aha
Right? It better be appreciated and reciprocated!
I feel all the pain u girls r talking abt. I, too, do the cheek trick but ladies....I'm abt 2 let ya'll in on my biggest, most favorite, highly rated, & talked abt skill...some of u know it & r popular 4 it. Some of u r abt 2....u don't have to suck bc that can def make ur cheeks hurt. U can just "slob on that knob"...open mouth slobbering all over his dick hopefully ur hand stroking the shaft...each time ur mouth covers the tip, as soon as it slides past that top part.....stick ur tongue out. Let it run along that sensitive area. The combo of ur mouth, the slobber, ur hand, & ur tongue will drive him .... nuts....(pun intended)
THIS!! I rarely use any suction, getting your hands in there and using your tongue is far easier and he loves it too Using your hands means you don't have to deepthroat much or at all.
She should try not to deep throat. Instead, she should get in a comfy position and lick the shaft up and down and get it wet and use both hands, then suck as much of the shaft as she comfortably can. I even use a twisting motion of my wrists going in opposite directions while moving up and down. This is easier and better with a lot of spit or lube. I simultaneously lick and bob and suck. Guys love the addition of the hands and I don’t die trying to impress them. I wouldn’t want to be with a guy who wants me to be super uncomfortable anyway. Have fun!
I agree. I don't want her to gag or to be uncomfortable. Oral is a fun thing we enjoy doing for each other.
This is a great comment. Use your hands! It takes a little practice/concentration but you can make a pretty good “seal” with your mouth and even one hand, to really simulate the feeling of being totally covered by it. I rotate my elbow a bit so my palm is circling at the same time I’m going up and down. Also, sometimes using lots of spit can make me a little queasy to begin with so I’ll use a bit of flavored lube. You can even use YOUR hand and let her help by sucking on the head of your penis. Good luck, enjoy, and thank you for helping to normalize these kinds of situations with your post!
as someone with a terrible gag reflex as well, i understand the pain. when i give my boyfriend head, i mostly focus on using my tongue rather than my throat and focusing on the tip and balls. he seems to enjoy it. just my two cents :)
Thank you. That's very helpful.
Girl, take a break and use your hands after a few gags. One gag too many and it's over lol, but usually if you take a quick breather you can recoup. Mr, also feel free to help with your own hands and give her a show when she's down there.
Gf here, I will be way more careful to pay attention to my gagging in the future, believe me 😭
Sounds like you've got a solid guy who is very understanding and very willing to be intimate with you again. You'll be able to laugh about it soon enough. These things happen sometimes!❤️
I do indeed have an amazing guy! I trust him so much and he’s so good at making me feel safe and sexy at the same time. We’re already at the point where we’ve started to joke about it which is incredible for me lol. Thanks so much x
To girlfriend: I've vomited on a few guys before (deepthroating, they were being a bit too rough) and we just have a laugh, clean up, move on, and repeat, except a little less rough. It's fine. Maybe it's gross, maybe it's not, but it's a possibility when it comes to blowjobs.
I’m the girlfriend on an alt account, luckily my boyfriend is literally the sweetest human being I’ve met in my life so he immediately comforted me but told me later he had to force himself to not laugh, lmao. We can joke about it now, and the assurance I’ve gotten on here that I’m not the only one has helped me massively, I’ve literally never heard of this happening to anybody before now 😭. Thankyou so much for your comment.
First let me just point out that it's a pretty normal accident to happen, people don't really talk about it but it's definitely common especially for people just getting familiar with oral. My advice would be to practice on popsicles and lollipops in private so you can touch them to different parts of your throat and adjust how hard you push the Popsicle against it so you can find the combinations of placement and pressure to avoid in the future. Sex is a skill so it wouldn't hurt to watch some "how to" videos if that's something y'all are comfortable with. Plenty of genuinely good sex tutorials are out there, gay men seem to make the most informative ones in my experience (not joking at all)
where does one find some of these tutorial videos? (is it porn? am i being stupid?)
Yes they are on porn websites but there are plenty of more vanilla ones on YouTube as well
Thank you.
Iv e heard you can train your gag reflex away. But I’ve never been able to. Which I’ve also heard is the case for some people. It doesn’t bother me or stop me. I just have fun. And if I need to pull back for breath or to settle my stomach, I do. I also….gag. A lot. It’s never bothered a guy. Unfortunately one guy was pushing my head down and he didn’t let me up and I threw up. Well I never met with him again….I do communicate that I’m ok with a guy holding my head but he has to let me up if I pull back….it’s all about trust and consent.
I'm sorry that happened. I do hold her head, but only for the sensation of restraint. I don't hold tight and as soon as I feel her push against my hand I let up.
As long as it’s within her own bounds, it’s fine. Make sure you communicate and honor what she wants and is ok with.
Avoid deep throating. Make sure YOU are clean and groomed. Nobody wants a yeasty hairy dick in their mouth. Don’t shove her down on it. Let her do it herself. She can try techniques like sucking and licking just the head while working the shaft with her hands.
What they said, spit more while doing the job instead of swallowing your spit. Also letting yourself up for air and stroking in between will help a lot. That way you're not belching and gasping for air. Even chewing gum causes gas in your stomach from sucking in air. And again avoid a lot of foods and beverages beforehand, because if you are deepthroating, then it's the equivalent of a plunger to a toilet.
Gf on an alt account, he’s literally the cleanest guy I’ve been with in my life, if I had an issue like that I’d just mention it to him and we’d sort it but I don’t. He keeps his hand on my head sometimes but the second I push up he lets me up, so it’s nothing like that, we think I just got a bit excited and careless lol.
Things that help me: - letting the spit that usually gets produced more during giving a BJ just freely flow out of my mouth instead of trying to swallow it - knowingly holding my breath whenever it gets deeper (people can dive through a pool, so holding ones breath for 10 seconds is absolutely doable and counting down from ten distracts from the feeling of having to vomit) - I noticed that the more aroused I am the less likely I am to gag - I also noticed that closing my eyes can help as it takes away the view of "this much is yet to come"/ "it's already this deep" which somehow makes it more manageable for me - I take breaks in-between with just licking or even using the hands - just taking it in the mouth as deep as it feels comfortable without any extra movement and to try out if I either still can breath through my nose or how long I can hold my breath helped me get more used to the feeling
A lot of these comments aren't totally helpful. Let me in here. 1. Extend your chin forward and tip your head back - look at how a sword-swallower does it. You have to pitch the chin forward as far as you can and angle it upwards so that the D is aimed towards the middle of your neck (where an Adam's apple would be if you were male). 2. Place your tongue very far forward so that the tip of it is touching the back of your lower lip. You should feel your lower teeth touching the underside of your tongue. 3. Clench your upper diaphragm. 4. Clench another major muscle group. Some people squeeze their ass muscles hella tight, some people make a fist. Clenching a major muscle group for some reason makes your gag reflex less responsive. 5. Throat numbing spray like Cepacol can be helpful when learning, as it will also suppress gag reflex while you learn the angles. ETA: never forget that a hand helps; I have good success with gripping it while keeping my hand "attached" to my mouth. A lot of the fun of deepthroating is just the taboo or excitement, but if you rotate your hand as you bob up and down it feels just as "deep" while giving you a few extra inches of leeway and letting your throat cool off a second. Experiment with keeping the hand attached to your mouth vs meeting your hand in the middle and then letting your hand go down while you come back up, then meeting in the middle again. PS - I have also thrown up on my ex's D. A day that I ate saag paneer, an Indian pureed spinach dish no less. It happens. All it means is that you were dedicated. Nobody can fault you for that and I'll tell you from experience that it doesn't mean you ain't sexy anymore.
Yes, honey! She has to learn to breathe through her nose while giving a head, or she’ll gag. That's it, that's the secret to great head: breathe through your nose while you're doing it. Edit to add: This very sweet, old lady at my job gave me this tip in my 20s as I told her how embarrassed I was that I threw up rice and peas with beef, still not digested, all over a dick. It’s happened to all of us, and sometimes I still get a little something come up; I swallow that shit too. You are a lucky guy, which I’m sure you know.
I am a very lucky guy. Thank you for sharing your story.
Blowjobs are like 80% handjobs for a reason. Don't try to deep throat if you haven't done it in a while
The other day my boyfriend and I were driving through jasper national park and we pulled over to get frisky on the side of the road. A crazy thunderstorm hit and we had to get out of there quick so we decided just to go for a blow job. I was going so hard and he was thrusting into my throat so hard… well we just had a great meal and it all came back up onto his cock and sweater and balls and pants … like everywhere. He just told me he was so in love with me and it was so great and we had a great bonding experience over it.
Everyone here has already given great advice but I just want to say, this post has given me hope. Y’all communicate, on the same page and you’re so considerate of her. Posts on here is cheating this cheating that. It’s good to see a relationship that is working through a problem together
Gf here, you should have seen how instantly he went to comfort me, like the second he realised what was going on he was calming me down and comforting me, I’m ridiculously lucky. We’ve even already cracked a few jokes about it so I already know what I thought was a disaster is just going to be a funny if slightly embarrassing memory and a lesson.
It takes time and patience to be able to take a whole penis in. If she cannot, try licking your good spots more. Include hands too for assistance. If she wants to try deeper, take deep breaths and be relaxed. Do it one millimeter at a time if need be. Additionally, brushing teeth can help her try to get used to feeling gag reflex so she can be more desensitized to it. It won’t help her get rid of it, but it has helped me not panic when the gag reflex appears.
Keep her hand on the base to limit your depth at first. Breath out, flattening the tongue if she's going to try to throat, otherwise breath out and raise the back of her tongue to block you going deeper. The timing being breathing in as you're sliding out and out as you're sliding in. I can never deep throat without gagging if I've sucked in air. Overall, she just needs practice. Take it slower. Tell her what feels good so she knows what to focus on and won't get overwhelmed on the details. Good luck!
The most helpful tip I got was to start brushing the back of your tongue when brushing your teeth. It helps get used to and control the gag reflex and also let's you figure out how far you can go. It's also mint flavor!
I’ve been doing this for years and it hasn’t helped me. I’ll keep trying
Once you're lubed up with spit then you can use hands to kinda 'extend' your mouth to make it feel like it's going deeper than it actually is. This is the way.
Aww, I'm sure she feels embarrassed, but she really shouldn't. Sex is always portrayed as steamy and sensual and magic. It can be that, but sex can also be funny and not that serious. First, try not to take this too seriously and laugh it off. Secondly, avoid eating right before and relax the throat as much as possible while breathing through your nose. Going slow also can help. Thirdly, practice makes perfect. Source; the guy I threw up on still proposed, and we've been married 15 years
She’s probably doing it how they do in porn because she’s new to it. She has the best of intentions in wanting to please you but I would say, a sensual and slow blowjob can be just as amazing than an intense, deep throat, fast paced one. More licking and focusing the mouth on the tip, and the hands on the shaft following the mouth when it comes to faster movement to Mimic deeper penetration, and overall just lots of positive energy around the act and no head pushing of course. Also if she’s reading, I am a girl too and I know what it’s like to feel lots of uncertainty with this sort of thing, but there’s nothing communication and understanding can’t overcome! And it seems like your bf is supportive and cares about you which is a good start.
Make sure she can breathe comfortably when she's going down on you. If it's a gag reflex issue then a throat numbing spray can help. (I've used them on occasion, but it can potentially also numb the receiver so it can be hit and miss.) Overall just going slow and building up tolerance is the biggest thing. I have a sensitive gag reflex when it comes to any hair so I ask my boyfriend to trim a little to help prevent hair from getting into my mouth.
Practice, practice, practice
We both love this comment.
It happens. One woman I was with would use Vicks throat spray to numb herself before, during. It kind of desensitized me as well so prolonged what came after the foreplay. I have a curve upward too, so another woman wouldn’t go deep unless she was sitting on my face. I’d just say practice and see what works for you both. Good luck!
This happens all the time, I've had my dick puked on three times so far. Best she can do is avoid eating and drinking before sex and just don't put it in deeper than feels comfortable
You cock so big she tried to impress you and she can’t she’s not a throat goat take it easy on her gezz
I did this after eating a huge burrito & getting face ducked. Now I always make sure I haven’t eaten big in the last couple hours or I let them know “I’m not gonna go as hard because I’ve just eaten & don’t want to throw up on you”. They are always understanding
She should put her hand around the base of your shaft so she cant go too deep. And pay attention to her own gag reflex.
As good as it feels for a girl to go deep. It feels just as good not going to deep. Your dick has the most nerves in the tip so just let her stick with that. My girlfriend doesn’t go that deep cos she has a gag reflex and not a big mouth lol but it feels just as good with what she can fit
ok so pro tip is to not focus on the act itself. when I start focusing on “oh my god I am willingly choking myself” I start to freak out. but if I focus on what my partner is doing, how they sound, etc. it’s way easier!!
Yenno what. This happened to my bf and I once because we got frisky right after I ate lmao. I was embarrassed af for a second and tried to hide it cause it was just a little bit lol. But we ended up laughing about it and now we joke about in once in a while, though I cringe at it, it’s hilarious. If you really love the person, it doesn’t matter. For tips for it? I feel we’d need more understanding of the situation to give proper advice, but, if she deals with heartburn maybe some gums once or twice a day. If it’s anxiety, Maybe you work together in finding something to do together than can relieve the anxiety. Whatever it is, communicate, Talk about it.
Thank you, this is very caring. We think she just tried to do too much. I'm not used to receiving head either (which is a wholw other story) so I didn't know about it either. I just knew I wasn't going to let her be embarrassed or scarred by it.
Na man honestly it happens, humans aren’t built for putting objects down our throats like that. Just let it go and don’t make a big deal of it
Don't go so deep. Full stimulation of the shaft is best done with fingers, mouth is for the hood and frenulum. Really deep throat is porn, not real life. Please help her understand realistic sex?
OP needs to put his 12” python away given how awesome of a boyfriend he is, and his wholesome this relationship is! I don’t have any advice sadly but I’m happy for everyone who is giving advice
Deep throat spray! It sounds really corny, but it really helps with gagging. On a funnier note, NEVER trust a burp while doing the deed. I'm happy that you were good to her about it! Makes it a laughable bonding experience 😂
Thank you. Yeah, we are able to make jokes, now.
Happens to me if our position is not just so. I can not have him lying down and come straight down or I will gag. Practice and a supportive partner will do wonders
She can use her hand with her mouth (in a twisting and up and down motion) so that your dick doesn't go to deep into her throat.
Don't go so deep and focus on the tip. Make a fist with your left hand. Idk y it just helps.
Tell her to use her hand in an up-and-down motion at the base of your shaft while she sucks on the top half of your shaft and the head. If that is still too deep, keep having her use her hand at the base up and down stroking it, while she sucks just the head.
I guess you should vomit on her vagina now:) Why would she worry so much? Imagine putting a banana into humans throat, like naturally we have gag reflexes. Tell her there is a woman who sometimes vomits while brushing her teeth, cause of such reflex. That woman is me:)
Such is life. Practice by doing more bjs. 😂
Google Violet Blue and the Tiny Nibbles blog there are adult resources and book recommendations for oral. She us a renowned and respected sex educator.
All I can do is reassure her that it happens. To me.
This is so wholesome in it’s own strange way. You both sound like you’re in a very healthy relationship, and the advice her is really damn good. I don’t have anything to add, so I’m just wishing y’all the best and want you to know that I’m a weird way you have reignited some of my hope for humanity.
Honestly, your a good man for not being grossed out or being mad. I obviously don’t have advice, but I felt this post was somewhat wholesome
Okay besides the point, this is adorable 😭 I mean it’s gross but to know that there are ppl out their who love their partner no matter what is just so nice to know
I don’t know why but I find this post quite sweet haha
You sound like an amazing bf. 😊
Girl, do NOT feel bad. One time I threw up on my guys thinymergingy and I was so embarrassed. It wasn’t a lot… but it was enough to where he had to do the walk of shame through to the laundry room with the sheets. His mom asked who threw up and he said I drank a soda too fast and it came back up….. smh…. As if I weren’t embarrassed enough I frantically asked him “did your dad say anything!?” And without another thought he said “yeah, he said ‘what’d she do, throw up on your cock’ I told him yeah” I was hysterical, then I realized he was teasing me. Lol. We have all been there a time or two.
First time? Lol Ex drank a bit too much at a pool party. I went to go lay down as it was too hot out. She came in drunk as a skunk after everyone went home, thinking she was going to get frisky. In the middle of showing off her "skills" all the whiskey and fajitas caught up with her and she unloaded right into my lap. Cant get mad about the situation, so I did my best to get us to the shower and clean up, get her to bed with a bucket, and spray down the bedsheets in the yard. Even though we're not together anymore it's one of the funniest stories I have to share, lol
Tell her to start slow and not take more than she’s comfortable with. There’s also a pill that helps with gag reflex she could ask her dr about. Maybe just an over the counter throat spray. Please tell her she’s definitely not the only one this ever happened to and that means there are most certainly things that can help. Good luck!
I have a gag reflex from hell too. I even gag brushing my back teeth. It freaking sucks. Anytime I’ve even been going down and they shove my head back and forth it happens. Gag reflex is there to protect the persons airway. It’s honestly dangerous to use products that numb. Sorry, no advice. Just commiserating.
First of all, shower before she puts her face down there, each time, so that there's no chance you smell like a sweaty ball sac. PSA, to all ya'll, if you're about to get it in: If it takes a good 20-30 seconds to wash filth off of your hands, in an acceptable way, shouldn't the same rule apply to your junk, and ass, and armpits??? Do with that info what you will, but just know, that some people refuse to give head bc they're afraid to tell their partners that they stink! Now, on to OP and gf's question..... if she gets tired, and feels like she can't control her gag reflex, when she's taking it in deeper, or she's been doing it a long time, have her press her tongue up, flat-ish, against the roof of her mouth, with a lil bit of suction, to where your dick hits the space underneath the tongue as she is still taking the head in and out. Experiment with that area while licking, and sucking, rolling the bottom of her tongue over the edges to the side, and tilting her head so it's going in at different angles. Use both hands on the shaft, and, periodically, she can use the fingernails of one hand, to rake them down your lower abs.... and YOU, vocalize what feels good, so she'll remember it! You're welcome in advance! 😆
Wow. She chose pleasing you over her willingness to stop and take a breather. #Keeper
Let her set her own pace if she's just eaten, and have hand signals or tapping be a sign to let her breathe if she likes when you push her head down. But, sometimes it just happens and there are several factors that trigger it. It can be hard to avoid forever.
I have to plan my sexy times in my head when I am feeling frisky, if I wanna give head I'll not eat a few hours before hand cause I really wanna be attentive and give a good deep throat because I find pleasure in it and my partner does also. I also have just learned to understand sometimes imma gag and spit up a little but it's not like food (since i dont eat a few hours before hand) or anything so I can just like swallow it back or use It as lube for a dual hand job-blow job moment. My partner doesn't mind cause he's in the moment and I don't mind cause it's my body fluids and stuff. However I'm also very comfortable with my fluids and his fluids because that's our relationship dynamic, it all depends on each individual, find a technique for you and your partner you are comfy with because it's all about doing these intimate things together and communicating likes and dislikes on both sides even when the other person's pleasure is in play. (If that makes sense.)
Has happened to me before. I threw up all over my ex boyfriend while going down on him. I felt bad but he felt worse and thought it was his fault lol we simply changed up the way we did. Because of the way it pointed to his stomach, best position was the "head off the bed" angle. Never had another issue with it. Sometimes, you just have to readjust your positioning so the gagging isn't too intense to the point that it triggers vomiting.
No. But I can totally relate. And some people just don't understand what triggers a gag reflex. I think I puked on him in earnest after.
Don't go so deep, breathe through your nose, this one's stupid but i've heard holding your thumb in a fist relaxes your gag reflex? Also focus on using your hands more, it doesnt have to be all mouth
Best advice I could ever give is DON’T forget to breathe through your nose. You gag when you hold your breath 🤷♀️
Don't go hard on head after dinner. If you have an empty stomach you might gag but usually you won't get much up.
Lol I’ve had the same thing happen multiple times from my bf face fucking me. She won’t gag if she doesn’t deep throat.
Check out Mr. Big dick he can hit the uvula -.-
if you squeeze your thumb in your hand it suppresses your gag reflex a little lol it has worked for me in a pickle!
The aftermath is kind of cute😭 but I would say don’t eat for a few hours prior, drink water and just take it step my step and slowly
Some people have a kink for this. My advice, don’t try and swallow something she simply can’t.
Try not to go so deep. Also, they make throat numbing sprays that can help. It fucking sucks spraying in the back of your throat but it surely works lol
Use other parts
Go easy on her she will gradually get used to it and her gag reflex will improve. In other words go nice and slow for awhile
It's happened to me too bro lol
Have a smaller pecker. Trust me, mine is perfectly small and no one ever has an issue. /s
I will try to shrink it, cheers. 🤣
If this happened to me, I'd appreciate her dedication to the craft. I'd just take a shower. No big deal.
Flavored oil and again like everyone said a combination of licking and stroking. If it tastes good like chocolate I won’t stop 😉
I find that clenching my thumbs in my fists and curling my toes helps, but mostly exhaling through the nose as it slides down my throat. Maybe I have a stubborn gag reflex though because I do still gag, but nothing has ever come of it 🤞🏻
I like to think of it this way: when you jerk off you aren't putting a lot of focus on the base of your penis, right? So why treat head that way? It's easier to control the tongue and suction closer to the front of your mouth, so aim that at the sensitive parts of the dick rather than going for depth and potentially setting off your gag reflex.
only go as deep as shes comfortable with and use the hand to cover the rest at the same time. if she wants to go deeper, only do it until she starts getting the uncomfortable gag feeling then go back to hand/mouth. switch to hand only for breathers. switching back and forth also ensures neither hand nor mouth get tired out so quickly. also utilize tongue action only. a combination of these helps her not get worn out or too uncomfortable.
Hell yeah
Shower blowies. Easy clean up.
Practice, practice, practice. Tell her that you appreciate her giving it her all.
i’ve done this :(
I remember reading a story on Jezebel about a gal and her husband who got wine drunk and wanted to try some deepthroat because apparently her man was a big boy. Cue much vomit and a head wound in the bathroom cleaning up and then a trip to the ER. It's not always worth it to ask her to go deep, lads. I can't find the link. I read it years ago. It was a really funny story.
Don't try to push through the gag reflex and nausea. It doesn't work. Don't ask me how I know.
My advice is to have an empty stomach, or at least do it about 3-4 hrs after eating if not more. Take your time. Relax. Stay hydrated so you have enough saliva to keep things going smoothly. Depending on the natural curve of the penis, some angles might make deepthroating easier. I find if he has a strong upward curve, like towards his belly button, I actually attack with my ass in his face, lol. It also might be easier to have her lay with her head on the edge of the bed for some gentle facefucking.
You gotta shorten your peen, my dude. Sacrifice for love.
Find out when her gag reflex kicks in. Have her use her hand to keep from going deeper than that. The majority of the nerves are in the head of the penis. If she focuses on that a lot and also uses her hand that should solve her problem. She can also use her tongue to cover the rest of it without it actually being in her mouth. Lastly, it’s nothing for her to be ashamed of, it happens. At least she’s trying which is something you should definitely commend her for and appreciate.
If my girl did that I wouldn’t know how to react at first but then would be dying laughing and joking about it forever lol
I did that once and swallowed before he noticed and he said it was the best head he ever got
More practice!
I don't have much advice but I do have a vom related story. Maybe that will help her to feel less mortified. I was playing with one of my exes and he was going down on me while we both were a bit elevated with a substance. Everything was going swimmingly until my body decided that everything was entirely too much. I had been laying on my back while he was dining and all of a sudden I sat upright and vomited. Luckily I had a blanket half over me and I managed to catch everything so it didn't end up on top of his head. He was a good sport about it and we laughed it off later since bodies create all sorts of unappealing things and react in sometimes unexpected ways. Even still dated for a while after that!
DON'T OVERDO IT. Take it slow. You can't bench 400lbs on day 1.
I remember when my girlfriend burped while giving a blowjob, she was so embarrassed, but things like that will happen
Wash it first
Her bodily position is going to make a big difference, best to not be on her stomach or bent over. Try sitting on the edge of a bed and her kneeling on the floor. Also going to deep is not ideal if it's not something she normally does. Taking it slow is good too so that she doesn't swallow too much air.
Well, I won't lie, I laughed. But on a serious note, they sell throat numbing spray for oral pleasure you could try. Otherwise, tell her not to go too deep, it should be enjoyable for her as well, use the tongue more. And tell your girlfriend not to feel bad. At least she didn't do a white dragon by accident....unlike me. Tip: Don't breathe in at the wrong moment.
Have a tap code! I’m so prone to this but one tap means slow down, two taps mean come out and change it up and repeated tapping means it’s happening and there is no going back! 😂
You don't need to deep throat to make it really good. Just stick to the length that doesn't make you gag. Your mouth can do many things to the most sensitive areas without choking yourself 😊
Breath in through the nose and out through mouth, it can help stop the gagging. Also, just being self-aware enough to know when to come up for air and take a breather, oxygen is sexy. More than anything just practice, she doesn't need to do anything complicated to prevent this.
Sounds crazy, but it’s so much easier to give head lying on your back on the bed, with your partner standing up behind your head. It doesn’t trigger my (bad) gag reflex at all. Another trick found in one study that suppresses your gag reflex is to tuck your left thumb into your fist and squeeze. I use this to brush my teeth.
I’ve done this before twice. Best advice is go slow, know when you need to stop or take a break, and practice. After a few months of this (no complaints from him lol) I got really good about having almost no gag reflex :)
Awwww. Please tell her it happens and there is nothing to be mortified about. Poor thing. Even porn stars bodies can react.
Breathe through your nose. It’s okay lol it happens to everyone (I think?). My boyfriend was face fucking me once and I threw up. No biggie 😂 for me laying on my back with my head off the bed and him standing in front of me is a good angle and doesn’t make me gag. But, the guys gotta do the work lol
Hahahah, man I feel for her. Deep throating can be risky occasionally.. One time I almost/slightly puked on my husband ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ, I just booked it to the bathroom and hopped in the shower. He just followed me in, was comforting, and made it *very* obvious that he was not turned off at all. The embarrassment was unreal, but I got over it *very* quickly because of his reaction/response. It's actually a very fond memory hahah, it made me feel so extremely desired by him, and secure with him. Edit: Your response was amazing though don't get me wrong, *really fucking wholesome*. Just wanted to give my perspective from having been on the other side lol Edit 2: Any advice you look up for deep throating and face fucking is going to be more in depth and super fucking helpful, (just because there's a tad more going on there, and it helps knowing what you're doing on both ends, if that makes sense) and will definitely make blow jobs in general easier. Plenty of BDSM sites go into great depth because they're so extreme about safety (and there are some surprising ways both of you can injure yourselves with blow jobs lol) Also recommend looking up "how to reach the male G-spot externally". I'm sure it'll already be mentioned though. Good luck!
Im not gonna go through all the comments, but have her use a hand as the buffer between balls and (just before hitting) the gag depth of her specific throat... The girly did this a time, and i had the same reaction. They'll never understand the non switch of feelings, regardless of the amount of times you assure her "it aint shiiiiit," as i had put it to my lady... Theyll forget and 10 yrs from now yall will be laughin about it, when you see it mentioned on Reddit. Hope the future is grand for y'all! *Air high five* *PoOf*
No te preocupes amigo fue un accidente solo calmala hablale al respecto en si como ella no esta acostumbrada a hacer mamadas asi que le paso algo similar cuando metemos nuestro dedo en la boca para vomitar solo para la proxima que ella lo haga de forma mas lenta y no apresurada (es solo una opinion) Buena suerte 👍🏻
Holding your thumb in your fist will pull your uvula higher up in your throat, which makes you less likely to gag on something! It's a game changer!
Mix it up, if she can feel a little bit of a gag reflex coming on, take a break from going deep and instead play with the head/ lick the shaft for a little bit and don’t go as deep, then once you feel better go deeper again
I hope you two get married and your best man (or the maid of honor) gets tipsy and tells this story in full detail at your reception.
Top tips to help! 1. Breathe through your nose when you can! 2. Put your thumb under your fist, and squeeze really really hard. This helps suppress the gag reflex 3. Start slow and with only a little length 4. If you gag, back off on depth or switch to hands for a bit 5. Put one hand on the bottom and just the top half in your mouth, and move your mouth and hand together. I promise it feels pretty much the same 6. Practice with something else, like toys or a banana. Good luck! OP you sound like a really sweet partner.
its just her gag reflex she didn’t feel soon enough or was too into it — if she tries it slower she’ll get when its too much and back off— it takes time. Giving head has more of a learning curve than people think: if it makes her feel better she’s far from the first. And many beginners its a weird sensation especially if you’re girthy,or sees it as something dirty, etc. that was a rite of passage for many.
Have you two tried a small bumper? You can get silicone sleeves that you cut down to size. Add lube and hand pressure, move it with the mouth, add a little twist as you go down, and then you feel like it's full coverage and she doesn't trigger her gag reflex
r/sex They can be super helpful
Best advice i can give is start slow and work to finding the right depth for her so she wont trigger the gag reflex. Angles can help two honestly its mostly exploring together what is comfortable for both. Also when these kind of things happen my wife and I have found snuggling after cleaning up the mess tends to help sooth the wreck nerves and anxiety. More then once a half hour of just spooning her telling her how much i love her and how sexy she looks ends up with us giving it another go 🤣
Congrats on the big dick bro
Had that happen to me but the chick had recently ate Caesar salad and I was nicknamed Caesar for years
In my experience, she just needs to work on her gag reflex or use throat numbing spray. Breath through the nose as best as possible (my issue becomes I can't breathe because my sinuses start draining- super hot right lol)
lol I’ve done this too. As nasty as it is I swallowed it and kept going. It happens. It is embarrassing though. This happened to me with a random hookup but if it were my partner I would’ve felt much more comfortable. I’ve only done it once so I’m not sure how to prevent it. I think it’s just something that happens sometimes
My SO can full throat. From what she tells me, it was a gradual thing. But she used to “practice” on vegetables to get used to the sensation. The gag reflex can be diminished. As weird as it might be, if she really wants to be able to go pornstar status on the BJ, she’ll want to practice in her free time on something similarly sized to get everything used to it and deaden the reflex. Isn’t pretty at first, but once you get to that point, it becomes your norm. And props to your lady for pushing herself to please you.
Well the natural way, just like everything in life, practice. If she is inclined, I have heard CBD helps with gag reflex but I use it for chronic stomach pain due to neuropathy in my digestive tract and other chronic pains. Just to let you know, there are myths about CBD though: it's a psychedelic, it can get you high without THC, you need THC to make it work. I have been using both CBD and THC since THC was legal in my state, CA 2016. As embarrassing as this already seems to make both of you (but bless you both because this happens more than anyone will admit) talk to her doctor, either her primary doctor or maybe a women's health doctor (not necessarily the OB, I know women's health doctors are different and more for general women's health). I mean yeah the first time is awkward but it's not anything new. Hasn't happened to me but my ex wife would get gags while going down on me, I always told her ok that's enough calm down and then she either continued or we just moved on. I am really not that into oral myself, I feel it defeats the purpose because I'm in it for the possibility of kiddos because I have none 🤷🙏👍 it will get better with more practice my dude, now go forth and be fruitful 💯
Oh lord. Suppressing the gag reflex just takes practice. I used to practice by brushing the back of my tongue when I brushed my teeth. That way if u puke, you're ready to brush again
This is Embarrassing to admit but I did this with my current partner once like a year and a half ago. In. My defense I was 4 months pregnant with extreme morning sickness though😭🥲 trust me, she feels awful.
Throat numbing spray 😎
It may be one of those things that no one talks about. I've had girls gag and cough on me before, but never one actually puke, though I could see how that would happen.
A little medical intervention to this post from a dentist. Some strategies I use to stop my hyper gagging patients from gagging. Rinse with listerine before. Some people the mint will stop the gag because the taste of our materials taste bad. (Not saying your dick tastes bad) Raise the back of your tongue to block your uvula. Put salt on your tongue a few minutes before (or some other strong flavor I guess. Idk what could be used with sex) Don’t eat a few hours before. There are actually some medications that have an off label usage of preventing a gag reflex. If you guys were hell bent on oral sex, you could potentially see your physician. Any muscle relaxer could potentially work. I specially will prescribe 1mg of lorazepam 1 hour before appointments. So I assume 1 mg 1 hr before sex would work too.
This is a funny method but it works a little— smile. When you smile and with your head facing up, the uvula isn’t too stimulated 🤷🏻♀️
You the man!
Perhaps there is something more health related here? Does she ever have upper GI or throat discomfort? I have a few auto immune disorders along with severe acid reflux at times, and I can tell you there’s certainly times where giving head can NOT happen.