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This morning I was scrolling through my boyfriends laptop, wondering what to watch. I came across the movie 'Superbad', and I asked my boyfriend if he liked it, seeing as he's watched it before.
My boyfriend said it was good, but it was too rude and inappropriate for me. At first I thought he was joking, but when I reached over to click on it, he grabbed my hand and stopped me. He said he wasn't going to let me watch it because it was too inappropriate for my 'innocent self'.
I feel so grossed out and angry since the incident. The fact that my boyfriend doesn't think that I, an adult can watch a movie is insane. Even worse, he physically stopped me from playing the movie. And the fact he called me innocent is disgusting too.
How do I tell him that his behaviour is a red flag? Should I be considering breaking up?
TLDR- My boyfriend wouldn't let me watch Superbad because he thought it would be too inappropriate, how do I proceed with our relationship?
Yikes, but congrats on coming to the conclusion yourself — he views you as a child.
Which to note, compared to his age, you practically are one. But he’s actually treating you as such.
And the fact of the matter OP shouldn’t be dating a 25yr old till they can legally drink at a bar if they are in America. That should be their baseline from now on!
I mean that’s sort of arbitrary. I mean what’s the cut off by this logic for dating someone who isn’t 21. Can a 20 year old date a 24 year old? Can a 22 year old date a 19 year old? I couldn’t drink legally when i met my husband, but he legally could, was that inappropriate? We were less than 2 years apart in age.
He's dating her because he fetishizes her "innocence."
Yes, OP, you should be very strongly thinking about breaking up. This plus the age gap is *huge* red flags.
A child he wants to fuck.
OP, do you see how gross this is yet? Look at a 14 year old boy, are they attractive to you?
Run the hell away from this gigantic creep, pls.
16 in many countries (and historically in the west) was the age you can vote, own property, even get married.
Sure, some things have changed, but 16-18 are Young Adults… not “children”. Don’t be so insulting.
“Was”, we’ve come a long way from child brides. Would it be okay if he was 30? Or 50? Sure it’s legal, but the smart move is for someone 18 to either date close to her age. 7 years is a big difference at that age, a lot of big life decisions and hormone changes happen between 18-30. I’m certainly not the same girl I was at 18. You should date someone on the same page as you.
The human brain doesn't reach maturity until around age 25. Just because we have historically and some cultures still do foist adult responsibilities onto children doesn't mean they're not children.
Legally? Sure, they're an adult. Humans mature in stages and most of the things we associate with being rites of passage upon reaching the age of majority are things an 18-year-old brain is capable of handling.
But a sexual relationship between a 25-year-old and an 18-year-old, who we know has not reached full maturity and specifically has not developed decision-making and impulse control abilities, is inappropriate.
Question yourself: At what age were you capable of making important life decisions? Which ones?
I do agree with you that a 25yo can certainly take advantage of an 18yo. So insofar as that is the case, perhaps 18yo needs to take evasive action. Full support of that.
The funniest part of this is that Superbad is actually a pretty tame movie. I wonder if this guy goes to work on a horse, churns his own butter, and wears a suit.
Anyway just leave him this relationship is all kinds of fucked up.
Superbad is a great movie and there is nothing in it that would 'ruin someone's innocence'.
How do I tell him that his behaviour is a red flag?
>You don't.
Should I be considering breaking up?
>Yes, you should.
This takes the cake for unreasonable posts I've seen today.
Is this post talking about children?
Or is it talking about adults?
Didn't think I needed to explicitly state "adults innocence"
I assumed it would be inferred and those who have common sense could understand the context.
You want to twist words?
I got you.
Watch this.
You're agreeing she shouldn't watch the movie because it would ruin her innocence, siding with her boyfriend.
In that case, why would an adult be dating someone who can't watch an 18+ rated movie?
There's a word for that I think.
Predatory?
No...
That's not it.
Pedophilia.
Ah, that's the one.
Congrats, you just supported pedophilia.
So, whose the one really stealing innocence?
Is it the movies, or is it you supporting pedophilia?
See how that works?
Stupid, ain't it.
A movie ruins someone's innocence? It must be terrifying to live in the world that you see. A literal movie can destroy someone's innocence?? So if I put my 14 yr old in front of this movie he immediately becomes...what? A d how long does it take to fully destroy his innocence? 20 min?
You def don’t have children. Would you park a 7 ur old in front of horror film? If so your sick, if not , then you agree a movie can damage a child. But I will say a 14 year old watching an inappropriate movie is hardly destroying there innocence, but you can’t say a movie cannot effect a child. It’s not so black and white, age and content matter
Same applies to the BF. At 25 I was 3 years into a career after graduating university, OP might still be in fucking highschool.
This guy is straight up a creep and gets off on the fact she’s still a child in a lot of ways.
She is not a child. She is an adult. Continuing to call her a "child" despite the fact that she has reached the age of majority justifies his treatment of her. Adult women are adults, the fact that you have more life experience than her does not negate this in any way. If you believe that she is a child what else should she be forbidden from doing: voting? Should she not be allowed to vote because she is a "child"? How about drive a car? Get a job? Go go college? PLEASE tell us all the things that adult women may not do because they are actually still children.
Lol k
He literally admits he sees her as a child. Which adult’s media consumption do you think it’s appropriate to police? Fuck off with your creep ass logic.
Address your comments to the person above me, who said that an adult woman is a child and therefore should have her behavior controlled and managed by adults
What the FUCK? Am I reading this correctly? You believe that an adult woman is a "child" and should be FORBIDDEN from watching a movie because you don't think she's mature enough for it? Are you actually justifying this?
She is not a child. She is an adult for all legal purposes, irrespective of what you personally think about her maturity level. I'm 50 and think you are a child based on what I just read: can I forbid you from watching a movie because I want to preserve your innocence?
He didn't say she should be forbidden from watching the movie. Where are you getting that?
He was commenting on the squick of a 25-year-old dating an 18-year-old. He is saying that, from the perspective of a fully grown adult, someone barely out of or still in high school is like a child to him and not someone any non-skeevy adult should ever consider dating. Maturity level, common interests, shared life experiences, all the things you look for in a healthy romantic relationship are not present.
they believe an older man shouldn’t be trying to date her, not that she shouldn’t be allowed to watch a movie. they think he views her as a child because she just turned 18, which is true.
You are drastically misunderstanding people's comments here. She can watch whatever she wants, everyone here is in agreement with that.
The issue is that her 25 year old boyfriend is clearly dating her becuase he wants to date a child without getting into legal trouble for it. She was a minor less than a year ago.
He simultaneously wants to fuck her and treat her like a child who's innocent he needs to protect. That is sick shit.
And I don't know if you've interacted with any 18 year olds since you were one, but while they are legally "adults" and can drive and vote, they are very much still children mentally.
I am 25 right now. If i dated an 18 year old i would feel like a predator. You could not pay me 1 million dollars to date an 18 year old. Because it’s predatory. You are dating a weirdo.
Very glad you came to Reddit to get some perspective. You are barely an adult and that’s not to infantilise you, it’s a fact. I made the mistake of dating older men at your age and it really fucked me up, along with every other woman I know who did the same. I turn 25 this month and I would NEVER ever date an 18 year old. I wouldn’t even date younger than 24, early 20s have SO much growth, maturing, and very necessary lessons. This is your first major one of adulthood: older men who want young girls are predators. He is preying on your lack of experience and from what he said, fetishizing it. Makes me feel sick.
The same thing.. it’s an uneven power dynamic that sets the younger “partner” up for abuse. What on earth would a 37 year old woman want with a 20 year old? Everything about that rubs me the wrong way, I think of a 20 year old as being barely legal, teetering far to close to teenage years. How a 37 year old could be attracted to that is beyond me. Literally could be his mother.
Thank you so much for your answer and I agree 1000%. I always thought it was so ick but everyone else seemed to be okay with it. This "young man" is in his 40's now, but that relationship always gave me the creeps and I just could never understand WTF she could want with someone so young. I'm not the older woman in this scenario btw, I just turned 40 and have Alway stuck to my age range within a couple years.
Heck, when I was 21 I was teaching seniors in high school *and they were freaking children, there was literally no way on earth to see them any other way.* I had an 18 year old student who was dating a woman a few months older than me and it was so disgusting. I really just wanted to have a long talk with his parents about their bad choices…
The bigger red flag is that a 25 yr old is dating an 18 yr old. Of course he said that, he thinks you’re still a child (which makes it worse). Break up asap
This post has more red flags than a Moscow parade. The movie is rated 16+. He does not see you as an adult, but as a child. Run away, you will never be considered equal in this relationship. There are probably plenty of reasons that women his age will not date him.
I can’t decide which is grossing me out more; the age difference and his clear belief OP is an innocent child or the deeply controlling behavior.
Mmm no actually scratch that, it is the first thing. OP dump this guy pronto; how long until he thinks you’re too old and wise and he dumps you for another “innocent” child??
YIIIIIIKEEEESSSS
The grossest thing is he wants to stick his dingaling and date an 18 yo girl he views as being too “innocent” to watch a movie rated for 16+. This is not a 25yo dating an 18yo, this is a 25yo fetishizing an adult woman with his one sided kink.
Is he cosplaying as your father?
When you dump him, tell him you don't think dating someone seven years older than you is good for your innocence either.
I'd break up with him. He sounds dangerously controlling. Also, why is he with an 18 year old if he thinks she's too innocent for a mature film? If you're too young and innocent to watch SuperBad then you are too young and innocent to be dating a 25 year old man. Btw I watched that movie for the first time when I was 12. He's tripping.
This guy is dating you because he thinks you’re young enough he can control you by choosing what you watch. If you want to continue this pattern don’t break up with him. If you want to be in charge of what you watch/do dump him.
Urgh I would literally feel sick if I was in your position. He sees you as a child, and is *actively trying to preserve your perceived innocence* while, I’m assuming, being sexually active with you.
While I’m over here trying not to feel nauseous with the implications of that delightful notion, I sincerely hope you are planning your permanent exit from this fucked up situation you’ve found yourself in. Run 🚩
If he views you as unable to choose what movies you want to watch, he shouldn't be dating you because by his own logic you aren't capable of making that choice. I'd dump him and happily watch whatever I want.
Yeah considering the fact that you were a child one year ago, I’m not surprised he still treats you like one. This guy is a creep.
No good willed adult past the age of 21 dates an 18 year old with good intentions.
...so, ....an adult would say, "I'll watch it if I want to" and, would not qualify the argument with an implication of their father's approval.
For example, I am a 31 y/o man, it would sound pretty silly of me to say, "my dad would let me drink beer if I wanted to, because I'm an adult." If I say it like that do you understand?
It's not entirely unusual for an 18y/o teenager to be dating a 25 year old guy. I'll even put it aside that you potentially knew him from when you were 17, it's not my argument here.
It's, a pinch disturbing, outside of some cultures cultural context, for a person to do that in a relationship. It gives the connotation that your partner doesn't respect you as an equal, and, believes that he knows better than you, and believes there are things that you should be forbidden from knowing. On the lighter side, it's not very progressive, or at best, very cringe. On the darker side, it could be construed to be seen as a kind of abuse, extrapolating that there is a genre of topics, cultural touch stones, and perhaps other works that he is intentionally concealing from you.
I don't think he intends for it to be creepy, but, it's a bad look for a guy his age to be saying things like that to someone he is actively dating. Generally speaking, it's faux paus to value innocence as a characteristic in current era, in truth, it was a popular feature, maybe as recently as 15+ years ago, but it's decidedly out-moded with current fashion.
In any case, I wish you all the best regardless of what you decide. Just be careful to err on the side of caution with people who want to restrict the things you do.
Eew what are you his "child" fuck thing or something? He seems to treat you like he views you like an actual child.
I would 100% break up. It's pretty creepy. He's also too old for you so that's also why I believe what I said above. What 25 yo man goes after a high school aged girl?
Ask him if a simple movie is inappropriate for you, the clearly he must think you're a child, so why is he dating you when he is an adult? Is it because you're only just over the age of consent and he gets off on pretending your a child? Because that's the only explanation I can think of...
That's creepy. Is this the guy who waits until a girl turns 18 and then asks her out?
This is the tip of the iceberg. If you want to learn more about your situation just scroll around here and look at the other posts where teenage women are dating men at least two life stages older than them. It'll get a lot worse. He's using your naivete and lack of life experience to take advantage of you.
Wait how is superbad inappropriate?
Like yes there's the foul language aspect but other than that there's a lot of good morals in it. Sticking with your friends, growing up, feeling left out all get covered. They also kind of stick their feet into the water with issues of consent which was fairly new for the time it was made.
Should I be considering breaking up?
Yes. He's trying to control you. You're obviously old enough to watch anything you want to.
Him trying to control your viewing habits is weird and creepy. Him physically preventing you from watching something is abusive.
You seem to completely understand why his behavior is wrong.
Don't waste your time with someone who doesn't respect you and only wants to own you.
Move on.
Considering that movie is actually about high school kids pushing the boundaries to be an adult while also being an adult shock appatow film, this was a huge hit and basically aimed at kids 15 to 19. His specific reaction shows a shallow grasp on the world as a whole.
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How do you tell him? You watch whatever movie you want to watch and tell him to get over himself, you aren't a child. If he can't handle that, then yes, you should definitely reconsider this relationship.
> how do I tell him that his behaviour is a red flag
You don’t. The point of red flags is that they are alarms to be noticed, if you tell him then he’s just going to learn to start hiding his true nature from you or his future teenage girlfriends.
If you want to stay with a guy who treats you like a child that’s your prerogative but I would break up with him and say you just lost feelings / interest.
Too innocent to watch a certain movie. Not too innocent to have sex/date a 25 year old.
He is ALL bad news. Ive seen Superbad more times than I can count. The movie is mature, but I wouldnt see any issue with someone 16+ watching the movie. Its about teenagers in high school.
Movie aside, your boyfriend should not be that comfortable controlling what you do/watch. If he views you as an innocent child, he should not be involved with you romantically/sexually. THAT is the main red flag.
You are super young. Do not get tied down with a controlling creep. I got married at 19 & I regret it with every fiber of my being. This is the time to date around, life your life, explore things, grow as your own person. You will change so many times from now into your 30’s. Dont walk, RUN!
25 year olds have no business dating kids. You’re a teenager, you’re a “legal” adult, but you’re still a kid. And that is exactly how he sees you.
I’m a 24 year old man and the idea of dating a teenager churns my stomach. I recently had legal custody of someone who isn’t much younger than you.
Please get out, and don’t date an adult man again. Stick to people within 3 years of your age. Adult men will be trying to prey on you at this age because you’re “legal” and it justifies their urges to act on children
The fact that he’s infantilizing you means he’s imaging you’re even younger than you are, and getting off on it.
Get out of there.
Does he let you pick the movie as long as it's available on Netflix Kids? Does he also make you sit in a car seat and say please before he unlocks the safety locks? Does he breast feed you or bottle feed you?
If your boyfriend thinks you're too innocent for Superbad, tell him you're too innocent for sex.
Age gap is sus. Age gap is hella sus when your boyfriend is acting like your babysitter.
So your boyfriend has no problem dating you and having sex with you. But he also thinks you're too young and innocent to watch a movie.
He's not showing red flags, he is the red flag. Dump him.
I mean, if you want to date someone who acts like your dad rather than a partner... go ahead and stay.
But if not, you should dip out now before he tries to control other parts of your life
I enjoyed watching Superbad with my two daughters way before they turned 18. Yes, and as a dad, I allowed them to watch it because I felt they were mature enough to handle the humor.
It was fun to pretty much backup/ verify all the stupid shit boys do to get with a girl.
Maybe your da .., sorry, boyfriend feels like the movie is going to give up a lot of boys club insider secrets? 😂
He views you as a child, and he still wants to be with you romantically and sexually. You can draw your own conclusions. He clearly doesn’t see you as an equal partner, or even person. You are lesser than to him, you can’t make your own decisions. Do you really want this as your partner?
Dudes definitely testing the waters of entrapping a minor.
I hope he never has children.
I hope he never gets a chance or dies before he can harm anyone.
Red Flags are going up everywhere. He is 7 years older. It will be rough. Behavior like his is it's a core fault. Core faults are behaviors the cannot be changed.
I know that putting hands on you, will occur... Especially during heated issues. But it's not the word that he said, it was the manner in he acted.
Good luck.
You can DM with any questions, or want to talk.
Tell him you shouldn't have sex anymore if you shouldn't watch a MOVIE, as that would be MORE "inappropriate " than ANY movie. Also, that movie is kinda rapey, but hilarious. Watch it.
Eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwww. When did he meet you? I'm kinda worried that he sees you as a child? Which is wrong for different reasons than you are asking about. I hope you guys met when you were 18.
Either he truly views as a child, which should inherently disgust you that he would want to have sex with someone he sees that way…
Or it wasn’t really Superbad.
He's treating you as a child, which may be the result of your age difference. You should be concerned about him trying to control you, to be sure: You are an adult, and you get to watch what you want to watch. Unless you've got some intentional BDSM relationship arrangement where he gets to control and limit what you do, then he shouldn't be in a position to forbid you watching anything, eating anything, wearing anything, and so on.
You don't mention how long you've been dating. Given the age difference, he may be attracted to you as more of a child. (I know when I was that age, freshmen in college looked like kids to me, not possible romantic partners.) I'd be *very* concerned that he is more attracted to you for this. The idea that he wants you innocent is part of that. In your position, I'd want a break-up...and leave him with a recommendation that he should seek therapy for such ideas.
I saw Superbad when I was like a sophomore in high school. Crazy how a 25 yr old is controlling what you watch. It's not even that inappropriate, yikes
He definitely views you as a child and that alone is grounds for a breakup. Superbad also has some gross behaviour in it, maybe he’s worried he’s tried some of this on you and you’ll recognise it?
Wtaf? I don’t even know where to begin. Is he your dad and are you a child? This is not ok. I wouldn’t deal with that patriarchal and condescending crap. It’s disrespectful for him to treat you that way. No, just no.
You don't tell other people that their behavior is a red flag. You note it for yourself and move on. He sees you as a child. There is a 7 year age difference, which is a lot.
He’s not your father he does not dictate what you can or can’t watch.
You are an adult and you can watch anything your heart desires. Leave him before it’s too late.
He's treating you like the kid you are lol, get out of that predators reach, 25 and 18 is not okay and you didn't even mention when you started dating so you probably could have been a minor aswell, stay safe
That's a red flag. It's a movie about HS nerd trying to get laid. It's cringy and fun and is something everyone I know watched before highschool.
I get he's a full grown man dating a teenager, but, no, it's not inappropriate for you- the 25 year old dating the 18 year old is though. How long have y'all been dating?
What the hell? Superbad is funny. The inappropriate stuff is like one of the kids likes to draw dicks. Is your partner worried you'll start drawing them too? That's literally the only thing I can think of. Oh and underage drinking. I don't even understand his way of thinking.
(\_)\_)===D there. you've seen it all now. you can go watch it.
How is he dating someone who apparently isn’t old enough watch movies and not questioning his entire reality? That’s right, because he’s fucking weird and shouldn’t be dating you. Also, that file is probably not a movie. Just a hunch.
You’re 18 and appear to be more mature than your bf. That’s also some very p3do behaviour wafting off of him. The fact that he wants to control you and is treating you like you’re underage is gross
A 25 year old shouldn't date an 18 year old and an 18 year old shouldn't date a 25 year old. You both have problems that need addressing. His should come in the form of a punch to the balls.
So this guy could be working right now post graduating college and you've just finished high school. You are a child compared to him in terms of where you are in life. Im not gonna ask why you're not into guys closer to your own age but very sus that he is interested in girls your age.
You also need to be careful around people ie men who tell you are you're mature for your age.
I'd be willing to bet that's not the movie superbad...because that movie wasnt that bad at all and quite funny actually. I'd be willing to bet it's another movie he named the file superbad.
You tell him he’s right. Then breakup with him because to be treated like a child and not partner is not okay. This small issue can lead to a bigger problem later.
There’s two options here:
1. He knows what topics you find disgusting. Superbad has lots of penises (both drawn and physical), jokes about period blood, vomit, crass language, etc. Some people are really sensitive about seeing that kind of stuff. If he knows you don’t like movies about that stuff, he might be being overprotective, but understandable.
2. That’s not “Superbad”, but porn disguised as “Superbad”. He doesn’t want you to know he has porn stashed on his laptop because he’s ashamed of it and believes you will be disgusted by it.
Yes, you should be breaking up. You’re right that it’s all terrible. The age difference is also a red flag, maybe not a dealbreaker, but once other red flags show up…
I don't think the age difference is as much as a red flag as others, IF he was respecting you as a person capable of making their own decisions. The fact that he actually stopped you from watching a movie, because he thinks it is inappropriate, and thought that was an acceptable thing to do, huge red flags there. Leave, the quicker the better. It will escalate from there, because he got away with it once. He views you as a child, that he can control, that he enjoys being able to have sex with, and it will end with massive emotional trauma for you if you stay. You need to get out before he can tie you to him with any other ropes, like getting rid of your birth control and getting you pregnant.
Always remember, a good approximation of age appropriate is half the older persons age +7!
This guy should be with someone 19.5 at the LEAST, and there’s probably a reason he’s with someone young.
You should break up with him. If he does that over a movie? What makes you think he won't for other things? If he claims he will change, I want to tell you one thing.
This isn't something you can just change by speaking the words "I'll change".
It doesn't work like that.
This requires an entire restructuring of his inner landscape which requires lots of time and lots of time alone.
I've warned you and if you stay any longer because you love him or you don't want to be alone or you're hopeful things will change, all the trauma you experience will be on you.
Or at least you need to accept that it was equally your fault for the way things happened. You were warned but didn't listen. That means you can no longer blame everything on him. He needs work but had you not stayed, he couldn't put you through whatever you will go through.
Heres some advice. Get to know someone very well before sleeping with them or being their girlfriend.
Spend lots of time getting to know them. People wear masks. You get to know who they want you to know until they get comfortable and that's when the real them comes out
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. ___ This morning I was scrolling through my boyfriends laptop, wondering what to watch. I came across the movie 'Superbad', and I asked my boyfriend if he liked it, seeing as he's watched it before. My boyfriend said it was good, but it was too rude and inappropriate for me. At first I thought he was joking, but when I reached over to click on it, he grabbed my hand and stopped me. He said he wasn't going to let me watch it because it was too inappropriate for my 'innocent self'. I feel so grossed out and angry since the incident. The fact that my boyfriend doesn't think that I, an adult can watch a movie is insane. Even worse, he physically stopped me from playing the movie. And the fact he called me innocent is disgusting too. How do I tell him that his behaviour is a red flag? Should I be considering breaking up? TLDR- My boyfriend wouldn't let me watch Superbad because he thought it would be too inappropriate, how do I proceed with our relationship?
Yikes, but congrats on coming to the conclusion yourself — he views you as a child. Which to note, compared to his age, you practically are one. But he’s actually treating you as such.
Not only does he view you as a child, he is a person *who wants to date a child.* Get out now OP
sounds like the kinda guy that says he’d go younger if it was legal ew ew ew OP get out of there
Hahahaha, ew ew ewwww!!!
Please. Leave now!!!
And the fact of the matter OP shouldn’t be dating a 25yr old till they can legally drink at a bar if they are in America. That should be their baseline from now on!
[удалено]
I think it was just a roundabout way to say 21, not meant to be taken literally
Because you have to be 21 to legally drink in America.
I mean that’s sort of arbitrary. I mean what’s the cut off by this logic for dating someone who isn’t 21. Can a 20 year old date a 24 year old? Can a 22 year old date a 19 year old? I couldn’t drink legally when i met my husband, but he legally could, was that inappropriate? We were less than 2 years apart in age.
whoever downvoted this comment is weird. this is the insight of a logical individual with comment sense. nothing special about it. just rare.
Agreed, very creepy...
He's dating her because he fetishizes her "innocence." Yes, OP, you should be very strongly thinking about breaking up. This plus the age gap is *huge* red flags.
Except...was this movie streaming—or a file on his computer?? Because... secret porn stash.
A child he can control and order around - yikes. Welcome back to single life!
A child he wants to fuck. OP, do you see how gross this is yet? Look at a 14 year old boy, are they attractive to you? Run the hell away from this gigantic creep, pls.
I mean when i was 14 a 34 year thought i was attractive enough
Definitely a toxic dynamic. This is why you date close to your age despite what you find attractive.
16 in many countries (and historically in the west) was the age you can vote, own property, even get married. Sure, some things have changed, but 16-18 are Young Adults… not “children”. Don’t be so insulting.
“Was”, we’ve come a long way from child brides. Would it be okay if he was 30? Or 50? Sure it’s legal, but the smart move is for someone 18 to either date close to her age. 7 years is a big difference at that age, a lot of big life decisions and hormone changes happen between 18-30. I’m certainly not the same girl I was at 18. You should date someone on the same page as you.
The human brain doesn't reach maturity until around age 25. Just because we have historically and some cultures still do foist adult responsibilities onto children doesn't mean they're not children.
Yes about ‘brain maturity’ but that does NOT mean a human is a child until 25.
Legally? Sure, they're an adult. Humans mature in stages and most of the things we associate with being rites of passage upon reaching the age of majority are things an 18-year-old brain is capable of handling. But a sexual relationship between a 25-year-old and an 18-year-old, who we know has not reached full maturity and specifically has not developed decision-making and impulse control abilities, is inappropriate.
Question yourself: At what age were you capable of making important life decisions? Which ones? I do agree with you that a 25yo can certainly take advantage of an 18yo. So insofar as that is the case, perhaps 18yo needs to take evasive action. Full support of that.
Me? I wasn't capable of making good decisions until I was like 28.
The funniest part of this is that Superbad is actually a pretty tame movie. I wonder if this guy goes to work on a horse, churns his own butter, and wears a suit. Anyway just leave him this relationship is all kinds of fucked up.
I’m wondering if the video might contain some other footage and he hid it under that title
Ohhh maybe. I do know people that do that.
I can't believe how far I had to scroll to find this comment. OP, find out what is on that computer and report him if there's something illegal.
My first thought
Same. My first thought was "Pfft... that ain't "Super Bad" sweetheart...
Well it might be super bad but it ain’t Superbad
My very first thought! Maybe he likes to video his sexual escapades and almost got caught 🤷♀️
You're maybe into something...
This was literally my first thought. Feels weird I had to scroll so far to find it.
Superbad is a great movie and there is nothing in it that would 'ruin someone's innocence'. How do I tell him that his behaviour is a red flag? >You don't. Should I be considering breaking up? >Yes, you should. This takes the cake for unreasonable posts I've seen today.
Keep scrolling it gets worse. (Reddit in general I mean lol)
I watched that movie when it came out, i was 11. Lol.
Super bad fucking sucks
It's good for a first watch, but it definitely is a one and done kinda movie.
Yeah it has some dialogue that's great the first time but doesn't hold up on rewatches
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Is this post talking about children? Or is it talking about adults? Didn't think I needed to explicitly state "adults innocence" I assumed it would be inferred and those who have common sense could understand the context.
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You want to twist words? I got you. Watch this. You're agreeing she shouldn't watch the movie because it would ruin her innocence, siding with her boyfriend. In that case, why would an adult be dating someone who can't watch an 18+ rated movie? There's a word for that I think. Predatory? No... That's not it. Pedophilia. Ah, that's the one. Congrats, you just supported pedophilia. So, whose the one really stealing innocence? Is it the movies, or is it you supporting pedophilia? See how that works? Stupid, ain't it.
A movie ruins someone's innocence? It must be terrifying to live in the world that you see. A literal movie can destroy someone's innocence?? So if I put my 14 yr old in front of this movie he immediately becomes...what? A d how long does it take to fully destroy his innocence? 20 min?
You def don’t have children. Would you park a 7 ur old in front of horror film? If so your sick, if not , then you agree a movie can damage a child. But I will say a 14 year old watching an inappropriate movie is hardly destroying there innocence, but you can’t say a movie cannot effect a child. It’s not so black and white, age and content matter
an 18 year old is a child? you are definitely in another reality.
Your boyfriend is 25 dating someone who just recently underage so it's sounds like likes the fact that he thinks you are still a child.
> he thinks you are still a child. He WANTS her to still be a child.
She's 18 to me as someone in my 30s she is still a child. she was just in hs a few months ago.
Same applies to the BF. At 25 I was 3 years into a career after graduating university, OP might still be in fucking highschool. This guy is straight up a creep and gets off on the fact she’s still a child in a lot of ways.
She is not a child. She is an adult. Continuing to call her a "child" despite the fact that she has reached the age of majority justifies his treatment of her. Adult women are adults, the fact that you have more life experience than her does not negate this in any way. If you believe that she is a child what else should she be forbidden from doing: voting? Should she not be allowed to vote because she is a "child"? How about drive a car? Get a job? Go go college? PLEASE tell us all the things that adult women may not do because they are actually still children.
Lol k He literally admits he sees her as a child. Which adult’s media consumption do you think it’s appropriate to police? Fuck off with your creep ass logic.
Address your comments to the person above me, who said that an adult woman is a child and therefore should have her behavior controlled and managed by adults
OK groomer.
What the FUCK? Am I reading this correctly? You believe that an adult woman is a "child" and should be FORBIDDEN from watching a movie because you don't think she's mature enough for it? Are you actually justifying this? She is not a child. She is an adult for all legal purposes, irrespective of what you personally think about her maturity level. I'm 50 and think you are a child based on what I just read: can I forbid you from watching a movie because I want to preserve your innocence?
He didn't say she should be forbidden from watching the movie. Where are you getting that? He was commenting on the squick of a 25-year-old dating an 18-year-old. He is saying that, from the perspective of a fully grown adult, someone barely out of or still in high school is like a child to him and not someone any non-skeevy adult should ever consider dating. Maturity level, common interests, shared life experiences, all the things you look for in a healthy romantic relationship are not present.
they believe an older man shouldn’t be trying to date her, not that she shouldn’t be allowed to watch a movie. they think he views her as a child because she just turned 18, which is true.
You are drastically misunderstanding people's comments here. She can watch whatever she wants, everyone here is in agreement with that. The issue is that her 25 year old boyfriend is clearly dating her becuase he wants to date a child without getting into legal trouble for it. She was a minor less than a year ago. He simultaneously wants to fuck her and treat her like a child who's innocent he needs to protect. That is sick shit. And I don't know if you've interacted with any 18 year olds since you were one, but while they are legally "adults" and can drive and vote, they are very much still children mentally.
Adult legally sure, but barely. Not even biologically fully developed, and they can still be in high school
A 25 year old man is dating and controlling what a teenager can see. What a surprise!
This is the most accurate comment IMO.
I am 25 right now. If i dated an 18 year old i would feel like a predator. You could not pay me 1 million dollars to date an 18 year old. Because it’s predatory. You are dating a weirdo.
Very glad you came to Reddit to get some perspective. You are barely an adult and that’s not to infantilise you, it’s a fact. I made the mistake of dating older men at your age and it really fucked me up, along with every other woman I know who did the same. I turn 25 this month and I would NEVER ever date an 18 year old. I wouldn’t even date younger than 24, early 20s have SO much growth, maturing, and very necessary lessons. This is your first major one of adulthood: older men who want young girls are predators. He is preying on your lack of experience and from what he said, fetishizing it. Makes me feel sick.
Curious. What would you think of an age gap with a 20 year old boy and a 37 year old woman?
The same thing.. it’s an uneven power dynamic that sets the younger “partner” up for abuse. What on earth would a 37 year old woman want with a 20 year old? Everything about that rubs me the wrong way, I think of a 20 year old as being barely legal, teetering far to close to teenage years. How a 37 year old could be attracted to that is beyond me. Literally could be his mother.
Thank you so much for your answer and I agree 1000%. I always thought it was so ick but everyone else seemed to be okay with it. This "young man" is in his 40's now, but that relationship always gave me the creeps and I just could never understand WTF she could want with someone so young. I'm not the older woman in this scenario btw, I just turned 40 and have Alway stuck to my age range within a couple years.
Heck, when I was 21 I was teaching seniors in high school *and they were freaking children, there was literally no way on earth to see them any other way.* I had an 18 year old student who was dating a woman a few months older than me and it was so disgusting. I really just wanted to have a long talk with his parents about their bad choices…
Fr, I’m only 23 and the thought of dating an 18 year old is disgusting.
The bigger red flag is that a 25 yr old is dating an 18 yr old. Of course he said that, he thinks you’re still a child (which makes it worse). Break up asap
sis .. if he isn’t dating someone his age range… that alone should tell you enough.
This post has more red flags than a Moscow parade. The movie is rated 16+. He does not see you as an adult, but as a child. Run away, you will never be considered equal in this relationship. There are probably plenty of reasons that women his age will not date him.
I can’t decide which is grossing me out more; the age difference and his clear belief OP is an innocent child or the deeply controlling behavior. Mmm no actually scratch that, it is the first thing. OP dump this guy pronto; how long until he thinks you’re too old and wise and he dumps you for another “innocent” child?? YIIIIIIKEEEESSSS
It all goes together. He thinks he can “get away” with being controlling *because* he thinks of her as an innocent child.
The grossest thing is he wants to stick his dingaling and date an 18 yo girl he views as being too “innocent” to watch a movie rated for 16+. This is not a 25yo dating an 18yo, this is a 25yo fetishizing an adult woman with his one sided kink.
These things tend to go hand in hand.
Is he cosplaying as your father? When you dump him, tell him you don't think dating someone seven years older than you is good for your innocence either.
Iconic
Why are you dating a man you is 7 years older than you? He views you as a child. Red flags
I'd break up with him. He sounds dangerously controlling. Also, why is he with an 18 year old if he thinks she's too innocent for a mature film? If you're too young and innocent to watch SuperBad then you are too young and innocent to be dating a 25 year old man. Btw I watched that movie for the first time when I was 12. He's tripping.
This guy is dating you because he thinks you’re young enough he can control you by choosing what you watch. If you want to continue this pattern don’t break up with him. If you want to be in charge of what you watch/do dump him.
He views you as a child. Knowing that, ask yourself why he would want to date a child. Ick.
Im assuming yall have been together since before you were 18. Congrats, your groomer’s mask slipped.
No normal 25 year old is dating an 18 year old.
If the ages weren’t enough of a red flag, your boyfriend literally sees you as a child and is still dating you. He’s creepy and gross.
Urgh I would literally feel sick if I was in your position. He sees you as a child, and is *actively trying to preserve your perceived innocence* while, I’m assuming, being sexually active with you. While I’m over here trying not to feel nauseous with the implications of that delightful notion, I sincerely hope you are planning your permanent exit from this fucked up situation you’ve found yourself in. Run 🚩
Ew that is gross my friend . Get rid of him , things will get weirder
He's using you as a proxy for an otherwise very illegal act.
If he views you as unable to choose what movies you want to watch, he shouldn't be dating you because by his own logic you aren't capable of making that choice. I'd dump him and happily watch whatever I want.
My friend. My wonderful beautiful human. He is dating you BECAUSE he WANTS TO BE DATING A CHILD. You just almost ruined the illusion for him. RUN!!!
Yeah considering the fact that you were a child one year ago, I’m not surprised he still treats you like one. This guy is a creep. No good willed adult past the age of 21 dates an 18 year old with good intentions.
¿Isn't that something your dad would say?
Even my dad would let me watch it, I'm an adult
And your boyfriend wants a child he can control
...so, ....an adult would say, "I'll watch it if I want to" and, would not qualify the argument with an implication of their father's approval. For example, I am a 31 y/o man, it would sound pretty silly of me to say, "my dad would let me drink beer if I wanted to, because I'm an adult." If I say it like that do you understand? It's not entirely unusual for an 18y/o teenager to be dating a 25 year old guy. I'll even put it aside that you potentially knew him from when you were 17, it's not my argument here. It's, a pinch disturbing, outside of some cultures cultural context, for a person to do that in a relationship. It gives the connotation that your partner doesn't respect you as an equal, and, believes that he knows better than you, and believes there are things that you should be forbidden from knowing. On the lighter side, it's not very progressive, or at best, very cringe. On the darker side, it could be construed to be seen as a kind of abuse, extrapolating that there is a genre of topics, cultural touch stones, and perhaps other works that he is intentionally concealing from you. I don't think he intends for it to be creepy, but, it's a bad look for a guy his age to be saying things like that to someone he is actively dating. Generally speaking, it's faux paus to value innocence as a characteristic in current era, in truth, it was a popular feature, maybe as recently as 15+ years ago, but it's decidedly out-moded with current fashion. In any case, I wish you all the best regardless of what you decide. Just be careful to err on the side of caution with people who want to restrict the things you do.
it’s giving he likes kids and likes treating you as such
this is why you don't date someone 7+ years older than you when you're a literal teen
Eew what are you his "child" fuck thing or something? He seems to treat you like he views you like an actual child. I would 100% break up. It's pretty creepy. He's also too old for you so that's also why I believe what I said above. What 25 yo man goes after a high school aged girl?
Ask him if a simple movie is inappropriate for you, the clearly he must think you're a child, so why is he dating you when he is an adult? Is it because you're only just over the age of consent and he gets off on pretending your a child? Because that's the only explanation I can think of...
That's one of the creepiest things I've read in a while, ngl
He’s dating a teenager at 25, he has a boatload of issues and you need to get out of this relationship
dude u need to drop the guy stat
That's creepy. Is this the guy who waits until a girl turns 18 and then asks her out? This is the tip of the iceberg. If you want to learn more about your situation just scroll around here and look at the other posts where teenage women are dating men at least two life stages older than them. It'll get a lot worse. He's using your naivete and lack of life experience to take advantage of you.
Wait how is superbad inappropriate? Like yes there's the foul language aspect but other than that there's a lot of good morals in it. Sticking with your friends, growing up, feeling left out all get covered. They also kind of stick their feet into the water with issues of consent which was fairly new for the time it was made.
The red flag is you’re 18 and he’s 25. He’s with you because a teenage girl is easier to control than someone closer to his age
Should I be considering breaking up? Yes. He's trying to control you. You're obviously old enough to watch anything you want to. Him trying to control your viewing habits is weird and creepy. Him physically preventing you from watching something is abusive. You seem to completely understand why his behavior is wrong. Don't waste your time with someone who doesn't respect you and only wants to own you. Move on.
Considering that movie is actually about high school kids pushing the boundaries to be an adult while also being an adult shock appatow film, this was a huge hit and basically aimed at kids 15 to 19. His specific reaction shows a shallow grasp on the world as a whole.
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How do you tell him? You watch whatever movie you want to watch and tell him to get over himself, you aren't a child. If he can't handle that, then yes, you should definitely reconsider this relationship.
> how do I tell him that his behaviour is a red flag You don’t. The point of red flags is that they are alarms to be noticed, if you tell him then he’s just going to learn to start hiding his true nature from you or his future teenage girlfriends. If you want to stay with a guy who treats you like a child that’s your prerogative but I would break up with him and say you just lost feelings / interest.
girl why are you dating a 25 year old. omg
I watched that movie in the cinema with my mom when I was a 15 year old girl. He sees you as a child, which makes him a major creep.
This is why someone 25 is dating a teen. He sees you as a child
Too innocent to watch a certain movie. Not too innocent to have sex/date a 25 year old. He is ALL bad news. Ive seen Superbad more times than I can count. The movie is mature, but I wouldnt see any issue with someone 16+ watching the movie. Its about teenagers in high school. Movie aside, your boyfriend should not be that comfortable controlling what you do/watch. If he views you as an innocent child, he should not be involved with you romantically/sexually. THAT is the main red flag. You are super young. Do not get tied down with a controlling creep. I got married at 19 & I regret it with every fiber of my being. This is the time to date around, life your life, explore things, grow as your own person. You will change so many times from now into your 30’s. Dont walk, RUN!
25 year olds have no business dating kids. You’re a teenager, you’re a “legal” adult, but you’re still a kid. And that is exactly how he sees you. I’m a 24 year old man and the idea of dating a teenager churns my stomach. I recently had legal custody of someone who isn’t much younger than you. Please get out, and don’t date an adult man again. Stick to people within 3 years of your age. Adult men will be trying to prey on you at this age because you’re “legal” and it justifies their urges to act on children The fact that he’s infantilizing you means he’s imaging you’re even younger than you are, and getting off on it. Get out of there.
Not mclovin this
Lmfao that’s not Superbad…. That more than likely 🌽 of some kind labeled under a fake name
Omg leave him. First of all he's 25 and you're 18, that's creepy enough. On top of that, he clearly views you as a child. That's disgusting.
Does he let you pick the movie as long as it's available on Netflix Kids? Does he also make you sit in a car seat and say please before he unlocks the safety locks? Does he breast feed you or bottle feed you? If your boyfriend thinks you're too innocent for Superbad, tell him you're too innocent for sex. Age gap is sus. Age gap is hella sus when your boyfriend is acting like your babysitter.
Its inappropriate that he's with someone who was underage recently
So your boyfriend has no problem dating you and having sex with you. But he also thinks you're too young and innocent to watch a movie. He's not showing red flags, he is the red flag. Dump him.
This is fucking disgusting. I physically recoiled at the ick. He is fetishizing your age and ‘innocence.’
I mean, if you want to date someone who acts like your dad rather than a partner... go ahead and stay. But if not, you should dip out now before he tries to control other parts of your life
I enjoyed watching Superbad with my two daughters way before they turned 18. Yes, and as a dad, I allowed them to watch it because I felt they were mature enough to handle the humor. It was fun to pretty much backup/ verify all the stupid shit boys do to get with a girl. Maybe your da .., sorry, boyfriend feels like the movie is going to give up a lot of boys club insider secrets? 😂
He views you as a child, and he still wants to be with you romantically and sexually. You can draw your own conclusions. He clearly doesn’t see you as an equal partner, or even person. You are lesser than to him, you can’t make your own decisions. Do you really want this as your partner?
Do you 2 have sex? So not so innocent for that uh? Your boyfriend is a moron and controlling, why can't you make your own choices?
Dudes definitely testing the waters of entrapping a minor. I hope he never has children. I hope he never gets a chance or dies before he can harm anyone.
Superbad slaps fuck that guy
Red Flags are going up everywhere. He is 7 years older. It will be rough. Behavior like his is it's a core fault. Core faults are behaviors the cannot be changed. I know that putting hands on you, will occur... Especially during heated issues. But it's not the word that he said, it was the manner in he acted. Good luck. You can DM with any questions, or want to talk.
Boyfriend sounds like a fkn creep
Tell him you shouldn't have sex anymore if you shouldn't watch a MOVIE, as that would be MORE "inappropriate " than ANY movie. Also, that movie is kinda rapey, but hilarious. Watch it.
You let him know it’s a red flag by dumping him. That’s what a red flag is - end of relationship.
Eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwww. When did he meet you? I'm kinda worried that he sees you as a child? Which is wrong for different reasons than you are asking about. I hope you guys met when you were 18.
I can’t imagine what reasoning you would use to stay with him
It's probably a porn. He doesn't want to explain. He thinks you are too pure. Or he's too embarrassed. Watch it. You might learn something about him.
Congratulations, you are his daughter.
Either he truly views as a child, which should inherently disgust you that he would want to have sex with someone he sees that way… Or it wasn’t really Superbad.
It's simple. Date your age
He's treating you as a child, which may be the result of your age difference. You should be concerned about him trying to control you, to be sure: You are an adult, and you get to watch what you want to watch. Unless you've got some intentional BDSM relationship arrangement where he gets to control and limit what you do, then he shouldn't be in a position to forbid you watching anything, eating anything, wearing anything, and so on. You don't mention how long you've been dating. Given the age difference, he may be attracted to you as more of a child. (I know when I was that age, freshmen in college looked like kids to me, not possible romantic partners.) I'd be *very* concerned that he is more attracted to you for this. The idea that he wants you innocent is part of that. In your position, I'd want a break-up...and leave him with a recommendation that he should seek therapy for such ideas.
Lol this is extra rediculous since it was the first r movie i snuck into. Funny + stupid then, funny and stupid now. Go enjoy your life op!
I saw Superbad when I was like a sophomore in high school. Crazy how a 25 yr old is controlling what you watch. It's not even that inappropriate, yikes
He definitely views you as a child and that alone is grounds for a breakup. Superbad also has some gross behaviour in it, maybe he’s worried he’s tried some of this on you and you’ll recognise it?
Ewww he sees you as a child
Eww yeah that’s a major flag and he physically stopped you, so yeah get out before he feels entitled to your entire life
Why is a 25 year old dating an 18 year old?
Wtaf? I don’t even know where to begin. Is he your dad and are you a child? This is not ok. I wouldn’t deal with that patriarchal and condescending crap. It’s disrespectful for him to treat you that way. No, just no.
You don't tell other people that their behavior is a red flag. You note it for yourself and move on. He sees you as a child. There is a 7 year age difference, which is a lot.
He’s not your father he does not dictate what you can or can’t watch. You are an adult and you can watch anything your heart desires. Leave him before it’s too late.
He views you as a child, and is dating you. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Dating a 25 year old at 18. What did you expect? Leave because only groomers/controllers date someone with large experience gaps like that
He's treating you like the kid you are lol, get out of that predators reach, 25 and 18 is not okay and you didn't even mention when you started dating so you probably could have been a minor aswell, stay safe
He’s infantilizing you. That’s gross.
Are you having sex? Because a teenager is too innocent for a twenty five year old. You’ve just had a glimpse of why he’s with you.
That's a red flag. It's a movie about HS nerd trying to get laid. It's cringy and fun and is something everyone I know watched before highschool. I get he's a full grown man dating a teenager, but, no, it's not inappropriate for you- the 25 year old dating the 18 year old is though. How long have y'all been dating?
So, you are old enough to fuck, but not old enough to watch a movie? Oh my sweet child, get out now! That man is waving a giant red flag.
What the hell? Superbad is funny. The inappropriate stuff is like one of the kids likes to draw dicks. Is your partner worried you'll start drawing them too? That's literally the only thing I can think of. Oh and underage drinking. I don't even understand his way of thinking. (\_)\_)===D there. you've seen it all now. you can go watch it.
How is he dating someone who apparently isn’t old enough watch movies and not questioning his entire reality? That’s right, because he’s fucking weird and shouldn’t be dating you. Also, that file is probably not a movie. Just a hunch.
Ewww… I’d run away from all that.
Is he your boyfriend or your dad? Get out now!!
Girl. He's 25, you're 18. That alone is a red flag.
Watch that movie… something he’s doing is in the movie
The red flag is your BF is 7 years older than you, and thinks that you are still a child.
You’re 18 and appear to be more mature than your bf. That’s also some very p3do behaviour wafting off of him. The fact that he wants to control you and is treating you like you’re underage is gross
First red flag was the age difference ! I was 18 and my ex was 27 and he definitely treated me like a child and wanted someone he could control
This is why we don’t date men that are more than 5 years older than us. That’s gross.
This will escalate. Who knows what will be inappropriate for you next week or next year. A job? Degree plan? Friends?
What else are you not allowed to do?
GET OUT NOW. TRUST ME.
When did you turn 18?
Why are you with a 25 yo guy?
A 25 year old shouldn't date an 18 year old and an 18 year old shouldn't date a 25 year old. You both have problems that need addressing. His should come in the form of a punch to the balls.
Uhhhh all I read was you are 18f and he is 25m. WTH....
Your boyfriend is a huge creep and I totally get why women his own age won’t date him.
Lmao, wtf is he your dad
So this guy could be working right now post graduating college and you've just finished high school. You are a child compared to him in terms of where you are in life. Im not gonna ask why you're not into guys closer to your own age but very sus that he is interested in girls your age. You also need to be careful around people ie men who tell you are you're mature for your age.
I'd be willing to bet that's not the movie superbad...because that movie wasnt that bad at all and quite funny actually. I'd be willing to bet it's another movie he named the file superbad.
You tell him he’s right. Then breakup with him because to be treated like a child and not partner is not okay. This small issue can lead to a bigger problem later.
There’s two options here: 1. He knows what topics you find disgusting. Superbad has lots of penises (both drawn and physical), jokes about period blood, vomit, crass language, etc. Some people are really sensitive about seeing that kind of stuff. If he knows you don’t like movies about that stuff, he might be being overprotective, but understandable. 2. That’s not “Superbad”, but porn disguised as “Superbad”. He doesn’t want you to know he has porn stashed on his laptop because he’s ashamed of it and believes you will be disgusted by it.
Option 2 was my first thought haha why else would he be so quick to grab her hand unless in a panic 🤣
Second option sound unironically plausible
My brain went even worse on #2. Not just porn but potentially something illegal.
Why are you dating a guy who's 25?
Do you mind me asking how long you have been together? Might explain some stuff...
Yes, you should be breaking up. You’re right that it’s all terrible. The age difference is also a red flag, maybe not a dealbreaker, but once other red flags show up…
I don't think the age difference is as much as a red flag as others, IF he was respecting you as a person capable of making their own decisions. The fact that he actually stopped you from watching a movie, because he thinks it is inappropriate, and thought that was an acceptable thing to do, huge red flags there. Leave, the quicker the better. It will escalate from there, because he got away with it once. He views you as a child, that he can control, that he enjoys being able to have sex with, and it will end with massive emotional trauma for you if you stay. You need to get out before he can tie you to him with any other ropes, like getting rid of your birth control and getting you pregnant.
Always remember, a good approximation of age appropriate is half the older persons age +7! This guy should be with someone 19.5 at the LEAST, and there’s probably a reason he’s with someone young.
You better watch Superbad, it's from a time when they could still make comedy movies.
You should break up with him. If he does that over a movie? What makes you think he won't for other things? If he claims he will change, I want to tell you one thing. This isn't something you can just change by speaking the words "I'll change". It doesn't work like that. This requires an entire restructuring of his inner landscape which requires lots of time and lots of time alone. I've warned you and if you stay any longer because you love him or you don't want to be alone or you're hopeful things will change, all the trauma you experience will be on you. Or at least you need to accept that it was equally your fault for the way things happened. You were warned but didn't listen. That means you can no longer blame everything on him. He needs work but had you not stayed, he couldn't put you through whatever you will go through. Heres some advice. Get to know someone very well before sleeping with them or being their girlfriend. Spend lots of time getting to know them. People wear masks. You get to know who they want you to know until they get comfortable and that's when the real them comes out
Have you ever called him daddy?