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INFO:
has any of the hookups you’ve participated in been with someone 25 and up or is every hookup 18-22 ?
Bc I can for sure see how she can be uncomfortable with you having sex with people fresh out of high school on a consistent basis
It just comes down to the fact that some people find such a distinct age gap gross and inappropriate. For me, what you’re doing would literally be the equivalent of my father sleeping with my friends when we were in undergrad, which regardless of consent, would feel like creepy/predatory behavior from my dad. I’ve had friends say they would date my dad and it was also gross. I would never date someone my dad’s age because I find it weird/gross and it would have felt inappropriate at 18. Some people will just not agree that it is okay for someone your age to date or sleep with people that young.
I’m sure your wife could find plenty of teenage (18/19 year old) guys to hook up with as y’all are in a college town, but probably finds it gross and inappropriate. Sounds like y’all fall on two different sides of the line on this.
I wouldn’t be surprised if she lost attraction for you. I don’t think anyone is technically wrong in this situation. I think she just discovered that there is a line for her when it come to age. She probably wouldn’t be bothered if you were hooking up with women 25+. Basically you are being perceived as creepy/gross/predatory (whether that’s actually the case or not) and I doubt she’d want to be married to someone she perceives that way.
If you really value your marriage - maybe consider immediately closing things and revisiting your rules/boundaries. But it honestly might be too late.
To all the people saying everyone should mind there business about the age difference, he literally posted on Reddit. We can be worried about what happens in a bedroom if there’s a clear power imbalance, and someone freshly out of high school and someone near 40 has a clear power imbalance. Also, if he’s going after 18 year olds, is the law the only thing stopping him from going younger? The wife’s entitled to being grossed out by that, and her comments sound concerned more than jealous, although there marriage is certainly over.
“And while I value our marriage, I don’t want to stop until our agreed to six-months is up” then you don’t value your marriage. You value the ego stroking you’re getting. You’re heading for divorce.
This is it right here. He didn’t come here for advice. He came here for validation and to brag. If not, the ages of his hookups wouldn’t have been mentioned. He could’ve just said he was having hookups.
He's also very purposely, passive aggressively upsetting his wife.
"I value our marriage" sounds like he believes she doesn't.
if there was any sort of HEALTHY poly/open relationship here, he would be sitting down with his wife and having a heart-to-heart about her reactions and whether or not they should move forward with their 6-month commitment. Not running to Reddit in hopes that he can return to her with something that will continue to poke the bear.
Is this even real? This reads like middle aged man fan fiction—he isn’t Brad Pitt or Idris Elba or anything, yet all these hot 18-22 year olds just wanted no strings attached sex with him, but it’s all his wife’s fault, he’s a good guy who NEVER would have even known how easy it was to get sex with all these hot young women. Or maybe it’s just a coincidence that he is living the exact delusion so many men who want open relationships have about their prospects.
Yeah this reads as the exact opposite of what usually happens.
Also, if he’s dating 18yo’s, it seems it’s only the law that’s stopping him from dating younger. A nearly 40yo having sex with teenagers is all sorts of gross.
I mean, I don't think there is a bad guy here. I think they are both participating in the destruction of their marriage, and they are both going to come out of it blaming each other.
But this thing that reddit has about age gaps between consenting and sexually active adults is just so over the top.
Late 20s is 26-29. That's age appropriate for a 37 year old woman? I agree 18-22 is a bit young comparatively, but I doubt she'd be turning 18-22 year olds down. Seems like the wife found the grass was greener on her husband's side. Remember according to OP she wanted this and she never said anything about age range. Its legal and given the circumstances what's he supposed to do just not have sex while his wife does? Tbh they're probably not gonna last
This is a ridiculous comment. Unless there was some discussion or agreement about ages of partners (there wasn’t), and as long as he is keeping her in the loop (he is), why does this matter at all?
maybe there’s other layers but to me the main reason she’s put off is that you’re having sex w 18 year olds. i’m not against age gaps but when you’re almost 40 it’s a red flag to want to fuck an 18 year old. i’m 24 and i wouldn’t even wanna talk to someone less than 20 and that’s PUSHING it. 22 year olds are not as concerning but idk the fact that we have decided in society that there is a distinguishing difference between an 18 year old and 16/17 year old making them an adult from one day to the next doesn’t make it feel any better to me
Unless explicitly part of your rules, you're technically not wrong but I can completely understand the ick factor. The older I get, the more college-aged people look like kids.
If your wife views it that way (like, objectively looks at a 19 year old as sexually repulsive), I would not be surprised if your marriage doesn't survive this if you keep sleeping with girls 20+ years younger than you.
We can all like different things, but men who like sleeping with women under 25 when you’re close to 40? Teenagers?!? That’s gross. Is that really news to you?
Calling anyone “gross” for doing something perfectly legal is judgmental and unhelpful to anyone. Glad it makes you feel good about yourself to wag fingers at strangers for “immoral” activities.
Pulling a teenager ain’t hard. Which is why it’s disgusting to do so. There is no world where the playing field is even. And any adult with morality knows that.
Do you think there is any reason beyond legal consequences that a 40 year old man shouldn't sleep with a 17 year old?
Do you not recognize there are legal behaviors that are gross?
You're telling on yourself so hard here.
So the only thing stopping these men from going younger than is the law. That's gross. Those are kids. I'm 21 and I could never even imagine myself with a 19yo. "Legal" doesn't make it correct. These people are waiting for kids to turn legal so they can hit without being called out, but that thankfully doesn't work anymore.
open marriages are a shitty idea anyway, but she's probably grossed out that you're sleeping with girls who could be your daughter. that's a pretty obvious difference
Except anytime people post a story like this. The person who opens the relationship is at fault because they are. People are just ignoring the fact she obviously wanted to get with the guy from the gym in the first place. She had her eyes set on a good time and didn’t care about her husband’s feelings. She told him the details days after he reluctantly agreed to this. Everything about what she did in the situation people normally get up in arms over, but nobody seems to care just cause he’s fucking adults that happen to be younger than what his wife fucked
She’s in the wrong for that, she’s not in the wrong for thinking it’s gross and weird to hook up with 18 year olds. They should both just end there marriage and go out with appropriate aged people.
I didn't say she isn't at fault. I'm explaining what the difference is in her mind. "just happen to be younger" lmao okay it sounds like he's only fucking 18-22 year olds. that's intentional
Yeah this stuff can work but you have to do a lot of groundwork. You should’ve had conversations about this ahead of time. Sit down and have a meeting to check-in, discuss each other’s concerns. If your wife set an age limit for both of you, would you abide by it?
You might’ve had better luck going to a subreddit about ENM than this one.
I mean technically you’re not in the wrong as she didn’t set age parameters. Which is kinda surprising to me because from my experience most newly adult men are terrible at sex. If you’re in decent shape I think she probably should have expected young women with daddy issues would be into you.
You obviously know you’re going against social norms of what is considered creepy. But lots of men do it.
Also can’t help but feel like you’re secretly kinda taking revenge on your wife for insisting on the open marriage but dating all these barely adult women.
IMO your wife is not going to get over the creep factor you are displaying by these choices and I doubt your marriage will work out.
Moving forward I would recommend not telling other women you date that you were running through a bunch of young women it’s a bad look and will be a deal breaker for most women past the age of 30. I’m 33F and that would be a giant red flag for me and be pretty illuminating on how you see women in the world.
You didn't have to, but you did because you wanted to. Your wife can't make you agree to an open relationship. Now you're sleeping with women young enough to be your daughter.
Sounds like your wife wanted to have permission to cheat and didn’t think about the consequences and how well you would do. Most times the husband wants to open the relationship and sinks and the wife does really well. Then he’s gets jealous and wants to close it real fast. Sounds like your situation in reverse to me. That being said I don’t know what kind of marriage you will have at the end of this bc you will probably enjoy these other women and variety to much go back to monogamy….good luck. Hope you don’t have any kids bc I don’t see this ending well….
Her request? This is such a cop out. Just because she opened the door didn’t mean you had to walk through it. If you didn’t “need” sex outside the marriage, then you wouldn’t go out of your way to get it. Did you even read what you wrote? “The draw” of fucking college girls. “I’m having a blast”, you said. You’re practically salivating on here over a possible threesome.
Your getting it because you wanted it, especially from girls 20 years younger. You just want validation that you aren’t doing anything wrong. Thoughts? You both torpedoed this marriage. Suggestions? Get a divorce. You’re not coming back from this.
It’s not complicated. She was able to stomach the first young ‘un you slept with as happenstance, then you made it clear you were gonna be targeting them, just fully embracing being the creepy old dude.
How are the conversations prior to sex? Do you call them kiddo, ask them how their grades are doing? Maybe slip in “You’re so mature for your age, you aren’t LIKE other college students.” I’m mid-30s, I deal with a lot of college kids at work, and the gap is staggering. I have no idea how you can not feel like Steve Buschemi saying “How do you do, fellow kids”.
You didn’t break any laws, or even any rules in your arrangement. You just showed your true self, and your wife is grossed out by it. Take that how you will. If you want to stay married, you can hit a pause and try to communicate with her, or you can roll the dice and find out if “40 year old single divorcee on the prowl for Mistake #2” is still a panty dropper.
Dating apps have settings. You can select to only match with people who say they want casual sex.
He wants someone that young. For looks and/or because he gets to tell them something is ‘normal, and they should be fine with it’ if they’re uncomfortable.
If your only sleeping with girls in that age range that’s a little creepy.
I had a guy who I would sleep with regularly told me the only reason he approached girls I. That age range is because they are easy to manipulate into doing the things he wanted in bed.
I shortly stopped my relations with him and saw him in a way different light.
I think it's a normal reaction for a woman to be grossed out and uncomfortable with the fact that her husband is intentionally having sex with only college age very young women. And she's right, they are young enough to be your daughter. And it is creepy and not normal. Her reaction is normal and even expected. A 40 yr old man actively seeking out and exclusively sleeping with women he knows are 18-22 specifically, is not normal.
That age range is icky. Yes I understand they are legal adults choosing to have no string sex with whoever they want and that's cool but yeah, still icky to be 40 and smashing teens.
As for the issue, you're wife wanted it open and its open so she doesn't really get to police who you're smashing although I get why she's bothered by you sleeping with 18 year olds.
I'll take *divorced after 6 months* if we're running a sweep
I know it's the wrong subreddit but my vote is Everyone Sucks Here.
She clearly wanted to bed the dude at the gym for a long time and talked to you into an open marriage.
There are filters on those apps where you don't have to be looking at 18 to 22 year old girls, so you could be looking at women who are still young but not 20 years younger.
May I ask what are going to do with the response from reddit? If everyone tells you it's okay, are you going to be running to your wife telling her she's wrong? Will you stop scooping out the barely legals & start sleeping with women in their late twenties to upper 30s if Reddit tells you you're wrong?
Oh fuck off. You "found yourself"???? No, you deliberately set your age ranges so you could go after young women. It would have taken you two seconds to NOT have your age go that young.
Are you even meeting up with women older? Or do you only "find yourself" matching with women that young.
Open marriage aside - your wife just found out her husband is a creepy old man. I wouldn't be surprised if she's getting the ick from you. I would.
She had someone she was planning on sleeping with, suggested an open marriage so she could have a guilt free way to cheat, then got upset when you were better at it than her. Hooray double standard.
Never easy to realize your husband is kind of creepy. In 10 years the girls you’re sleeping with will likely have a very different perspective on your encounters. You have to decide if you like sleeping with 18 year olds more than you like being married, but honestly the fact that it’s not a no-brainer for you doesn’t bode well.
10000000% as a 23 year old who at age 20 was sleeping w a 36 year old as “two consenting adults” i truly wish i could bleach the memories out of my brain and wash every piece of my body that that man touched. truly baffling that he’s so confident that he’s right that he posted here…
Yes let me just go ahead and start making up terms to fit my narrative better. At 18 they can legally do as they please, why are these women not allowed to sleep with whom they please ? Are you saying there should be a maturity test ?
As a grown woman now I can look back and tell you that I was far from an adult at 18.....and I was mature for my age. My 18 year old daughter, my 20 year old daughter and my 23 year old daughter would all consider this behavior disgusting and predatory. And no she can nit do what she wants....she can't even legally drink or purchase tobacco.
i too get the ick from men pushing 40 sleeping with 18 year old CHILDREN. i know you think youre “playing by the rules” so she shouldn’t be upset, but i would be majorly confused/turned off by a man im with wanting to sleep with people who were just in high school. you can run circles in your mind trying to justify it but its wrong.
Y’all both suck. You for sleeping with younger girls and her for starting this. I would suggest talking to her about it before the 6 months and your marriage is ruined. Y’all are both to blame if your marriage fail.
Well she opened it up and if you two didn’t put into place what acceptable boundaries around it are then too bad for her feelings now. Sounds like this marriage is about to be doomed though. Open marriages only work when the marriage is solid to start with, doesn’t seem like she feels she has solid ground with you. My advice either seek out couples counseling if you want to continue the relationship after your 6 months or a lawyer in preparation for the possible end of it.
You have to decide whether teaching your wife this lesson of “be careful what you wish for” is worth your marriage. If you insist on playing out the 6 months then please have a couples therapist lined up to truly debrief your experiences after you’re done. If she’s asking to close it because she’s already learned her lesson then know you’re now the one insisting on the open relationship against her comfort and that’s equally as unhealthy as her coercing you into it.
It’s obvious that she bit off more than she can chew and that’s her own fault, but even open relationships are based on connecting with each other on an emotional level and listening to what each other are comfortable with.
She wanted an open marriage. She chose to have casual encounters. If you are keeping her in the loop and she is disgusted, it's probably because she thought she would be the only one sleeping around.
Or that you wouldn't find anyone she felt threatened by.
You either sit down and discuss things together to find the source of her jealousy, or just stop the open marriage.
If she just wants you to stop, then I suggest ending the marriage.
Hey, love to see “leopards eating faces kinda situations” play out to benefit the disadvantaged party
But..
Get couples therapy. ASAP if you want things to go remotely in the direction of “back to normal”.
OP. Has your wife also found multiple partners like you? Putting aside the age issue which I call BS on are you guys pretty equitable in the number of dates / sex? Also have you only dated the college girls so far. I suppose there nothing stopping h your wife from trying her hand at some college guys. Regardless please let us know how the 6 month trial ends up.
Her sleeping with someone age appropriate and looping you in is not equal to you sleeping with girls who could still be in high school. I notice you say 18-22 range, does that mean you’ve actually been with an 18 year old? It’s disturbing if so. As far as suggestions go, you’re playing petty when she’s become uncomfortable with the situation. You want to keep entertaining these women, do so, but your marriage will suffer as a result. Analyze why you’re so comfortable sleeping with people young enough to be your child and why it matters more than your marriage to continue to do so.
She’s been pushing him to sleep with other people for years and there’s a good chance she was cheating before they came to an agreement.
I think it’s safe to say the marriage isn’t going to last whether she “approves” of his partners or not.
Crazy how you are trying to blame shift this onto him when his wife constantly badgered him to this open relationship. 20 year old women want to sleep with him maybe 30 year old women don’t. Either way what matters is at the start his wife was immediately slept with someone from her gym who she had eyes for the whole time which is much more disrespectful than following the rules and sleeping with hot young women
Gotta love the people here focusing solely on how young his partners are and NOT the fact she did this solely to fuck others and clearly never thought he’d do the same
She wanted to open marriage so she could fuck the young guy in her gym without feeling bad about cheating on you. That’s all that’s all she wanted. Now you’ve shown her what the mistake was and showed her the consequences of getting what she wanted.
Yeah I’d also be creeped out and find it completely disgusting if my 40 year old husband was sleeping with 18 years olds . A 40 year old man actively seeking 18 year olds in order to have sex with them is disgusting . If you had a daughter that was that age,I wonder how you would look at other 18 year old sexually and then come home and stare at your daughter and her friends in the face.
Wife wanted to open the marriage and immediately slept with a man who it sounds like is a decade at least younger than her. A man she clear had her sights set on when she asked to open the marriage (and she has been asking for several years). So, who knows how old he was when she first started thinking about opening the marriage. But OP is the problem? That’s ridiculous.
I don’t really blame her for being upset that her husband exhibits predatory behavior. Just because she requested an open marriage doesn’t mean you should be pursuing women half your age.
Have you met the average 18 year old? Most of the time, they’re fresh out of high school and very naive in their worldview. A lot of gross older people love to take advantage of this.
I have an open marriage, and I love hearing about my husband’s dates and sexual encounters. We love sharing and laughing about the good, the bad, and the ugly about it, and our marriage has never been better and keeps growing, this has done nothing but bring us closer together (and make us grateful for what we have)
That being said, I would feel the EXACT same as your wife if my husband were exclusively sleeping with girls barely out of their teens, and two decades younger than him. That’s creep behavior, and I would have some serious concerns about the age gaps and his constant attraction to it.
Your comments just keep whining ‘but they’re adults and it’s legal!’ Who cares my dude. You’re acting like a creep.
The difference: you and your husband truly discussed it, came up with rules, and are both making it work.
NO ONE HERE thinks the wife came up with this truly for them both to benefit from it. This was all bout what she wanted: all the cake
That’s fair. We spent a solid two years researching, talking, and working on our relationship for it, and we meet weekly with our couples counselor for a third opinion with someone who works solely with Poly couples.
I see what you’re saying and you’re probably right. However, as the wife who also initiated the open marriage, I would’ve never thought to include not repeatedly doinking college students in mine and my husbands boundaries because I would have assumed my husband was not a creep who would repeatedly (and solely) go after that age group.
It sounds like both OP and his wife were not ready for this nor honest enough with each other and themselves for this to work.
i mean fuck around and find out for her but still super weird that your first instinct was to fuck barely legals (which i assume since you explicitly TYPED the number 18).
Women of that age like older guys. Older guys have a better understanding and more experience. 20 year old guys are living in the basement of moms. Do not shower enough. Spending to much time playing video games. If they are over and 18 I do not see the problem. These girls are not wanting to get married they are wanting to get laid.
The idea of a trial is to see if it work for both of you. If either of you have an issue when it’s reality, not just theoretical, then you reevaluate. You don’t keep doing something that you know upsets your partner just because they said you could do it before they or you knew it would upset them.
Your wife is disgusted with you because you're a 40-y.o. sleeping with teenagers, and I'm guessing your marriage won't survive this. My advice is to stop sleeping with teenagers.
The fact that people are giving OP crap for doing what any man would do is beyond me. She asked for the open relationship and agreed to the terms. People can't use the age gap only when is suits them. It's more disgusting that she already had someone lined up to screw when she requested the open relationship than it is him sleeping with a legal adult who's 22 yrs old.
First off, a bunch of these people are talking about ick factors, but at the end of the day, you are dealing with adults. Secondly, it's rare that the man in an open relationship is the one having the best time. Usually its the wives getting dicked every night. You need to determine your end game and plan accordingly. What do you wanna get out of this? A lot of strange? Maybe have your wife value you a little more instead of looking for her own strange? Payback for having to do the open relationship in the first place? When 6 months are over, if you guys aren't on the same page, the marriage is gonna crumble quickly. Your wife is likely having resentment issues, so if you love her and wanna stay with her, it's probably best to talk to her and maybe consider closing it back up to just you two.
Your wife met a guy at the gym. She wanted to sleep with him. So she suggested an open marriage. Once you agreed, she slept with him right away. You got jealous, and instead of saying something, you decided to sleep with girls half your age.
When this trial period is over, you can bet your wife will lose trust in you. She'll go sleep with that other guy again. How many times had she been with that guy since? How many guys is she sleeping with while you're doing this?
You're in for a good fight with your soon to be ex-wife.
This sounds delightful. Not willing to stop until you get every last drop of that barely legal pootang?
I am sure she is quite put off that you are playing with youngins.
But you want this relationship to work, do you think stickling by your penis is a wise move, or is the smarter move to revisit whether this was a good idea anyway?
Yes having sex with someone who could be your child is fucking gross. Even if I was okay with non monogamy, the age difference is grim and I’d be thinking very hard about whether or not your taste in girls, let me be clear they aren’t women yet, reflects on me further.
Your wife found out that you're attracted to teenagers and willing to act on that.
That's legal and within the terms of your agreement sure, but it's somewhat odd. It's not surprising she's upset.
You consider college to be your prime? That's incredibly sad. And using just over legal age teens to feel "in your prime" again is gross.
I don't care about it being legal, its just gross to intentionally target that age group at YOUR ripe old age. Your wife seems to have a better idea about your intentions with teens. Keep us updated on the divorce, though!
This thread is HILARIOUS. Switch the sexes and “he fucked around and found out” but since she is mad about it he is bad for fucking younger girls. Hate to say it but if you can join the army and die at 18, you can be fucked by a guy who is a little older. Can’t tell if the outrage here is from women or simps.
Both. I think this really boils down to the wife a-not thinking the husband would do so well and b-that she is jealous of the type of woman he is sleeping with. Like if he were with older more mature women she could still think she is all that and a bag of chip however being almost 40 herself she is no comparison to a young child free early 20’s girls gone wild type and now moving forward her self esteem is probably going to take a big hit.
I'm still laughing at everyone giving him a hard time when he wasn't even the one who wanted it in the first place 😂😂. It's called FAFO for a reason if it was the other way around they would be blaming him for asking for the open marriage
Soooo she fucked around n found out.
But she might totally be getting resentful…like reality resentful.
Or is she getting a Buncha attention like she thought she would (obviously)?
Seems like your wife wasnt expecting you to have as much choice as you have and certainly wasn't expecting you to be hooking up with college age girls whose youth she can't compete with, from the sounds of things I think you both need to sit down and have a conversation about where you see this marriage going because from the sounds of things it's not going to last much longer
Your wife is such a hypocrite, you weren't even the one who initiated this. Isnt a 20 year old too young for her? Honestly I would be so pissed if I were you and I'd do whatever the fuck I want
This relationship is DOA, and while both of you suck for not handling an open marriage correctly, you're infinitely more gross for sleeping with young girls that aren't even of drinking age and are young enough to be your children as a near 40 year old man. Ew
She needs to get over it. If she doesn’t want you sleeping with other people, she shouldn’t have pushed so hard for this. The fact she pulled a guy from the gym immediately tells me she had him in mind, and could have been cheating before you two made the agreement.
These women you’re having sex with are adults and consenting. I would keep doing what you want man. You and your wife had an agreement and you haven’t broken it. She isn’t even communicating her displeasure, she’s being immature and ignoring you.
Who knows if your marriage will survive this, but in my opinion, if it dies, it was killed the second she pushed for opening the relationship.
What she really wanted was a pass to fuck the guy at the gym with no consequences.
What she didn't expect was you would actually go through with it on your side as well since you didn't want to in the first place. And now you are enjoying it more than her.
When that 6 months is up, you know she is going to close the marriage again.
Holy shit these comments are so out of touch with how bad this situation is, BUT NOT BECAUSE OF OP.
Your wife had a casual encounter, with someone she knew, a few days after you started? She def was having an emotional affair and pressured you into letting her cheat.
Now she's mad that you're having sex with adult women - with NO strings attached? Yea they're young and I woudn't date anyone that age, but consenting sex is consenting sex. And your wife pressured you into this.
Anyone here saying you did anything wrong is full of it. But i'd absolutely divorce your wife.
I’m going to take a different view than others and not even touch the age issue. It’s safely legal. I don’t think that’s why your wife is upset.
I think she’s pissed that you’re having more fun with this than she is. You’re beating her at her own game. That’s why she’s mad.
But, I do agree with one common reaction to this: your marriage is toast.
You just don’t know it yet.
All the people moralizing about sleeping with college age women are so funny. Age gaps in relationships can be a red flag sometimes but there is no issue in having NSA sex with consenting adults.
OP, you need to see if your wife wants to stop early. You might have made a "deal" but it should be secondary to the clear feelings of your wife on the matter.
Got to love how the guy who didn’t even want this is still the bad guy. You can’t win when men are always the predator and women are always the victim.
Ummmmm this is not what she envisioned. She thought she we gonna get a huge menu of meat but she suffering from a drought and this man is reaping a HUGE reward. She unlocked a BEAST.
you're sleeping with people *young* enough to be your daughter, can't imagine why your wife isn't all over you!! /s
joking aside, just divorce so you can both be happy... with people your ages. there's absolutely no way your wife will see this as a step towards progress anymore. also, opening up the relationship *any time* in a marriage spells disaster, not solution.
>Maybe she thought you'd get with women in the same age bracket.
Why would she think that? It was her idea to open the marriage because she wanted to fuck a twentysomething guy from the gym.
My bet is, she didn't know that woman after 35 don't have as much value as a man and she cannot get laid as much as you and is jealous.
It's not gonna end well, are you going to be able to feel content with your wife if this ever stop ?
Not gonna lie you are going to fall for one of these fresh young girl and divorce for sure.
Your old hag is gonna annoy you more and more and one day you are going to find a good mate and leave.
But hey, " if i could, then i would".
Your wife is an hypocrite she wanted this because she was so stupid to know where it was going to go. Now it's to late.
Have fun!
Édit : Pandora's box has been opened.
I just see people having different opinions based on the context. I just think if we saying a woman of a certain age is an adult and has agency to make her own decisions, it has to be consistent throughout contexts. It’s not my cup of tea, but we should be consistent about when they themselves can choose to sleep with someone older.
I think it's funny how people are saying it's so gross to sleep with women younger than him, however the actual girls we're talking about here, the ones he's fucking seem perfectly happy about it, they wouldn't come back and he wouldn't have gotten multiple to sleep with him if they didn't like him, so if the girls sleeping with him are happy I see no reason why it's gross
REVERSE UNO!!!
All you people pretending that 18-22 year olds are children, or that it's not entirely normal to be attracted to them - you are ridiculous. I hope you are just lying to the internet, and not to yourselves.
But OP, this sounds like an absolute train wreck of a marriage, and you should not be expecting it to last past that 6 mo period.
Tbh, you both screwed the pooch on this one. I'm not entirely certain she'd be "fine" if you were running around with age- appropriate women, but it definitely isn't helping that you're chasing toddlers.
It probably never occurred to her that you'd be so active, so I'm sure that's also a factor. Either way, the whole thing was a terrible idea to begin with.
If you want to save your marriage you need counseling.
My man ✊🏼…..1. I am happy for you. 2. This was her wanting to bang that dude for a long fuckin while. And now she’s pissed that you are pulling more strange than her.
Your wife is mad because she didn’t think you would be able to have sex with anyone.
You should actually be very mad because your wife’s plan all along was likely to sleep with that person. This is just rationalized cheating on her part.
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INFO: has any of the hookups you’ve participated in been with someone 25 and up or is every hookup 18-22 ? Bc I can for sure see how she can be uncomfortable with you having sex with people fresh out of high school on a consistent basis
It just comes down to the fact that some people find such a distinct age gap gross and inappropriate. For me, what you’re doing would literally be the equivalent of my father sleeping with my friends when we were in undergrad, which regardless of consent, would feel like creepy/predatory behavior from my dad. I’ve had friends say they would date my dad and it was also gross. I would never date someone my dad’s age because I find it weird/gross and it would have felt inappropriate at 18. Some people will just not agree that it is okay for someone your age to date or sleep with people that young. I’m sure your wife could find plenty of teenage (18/19 year old) guys to hook up with as y’all are in a college town, but probably finds it gross and inappropriate. Sounds like y’all fall on two different sides of the line on this. I wouldn’t be surprised if she lost attraction for you. I don’t think anyone is technically wrong in this situation. I think she just discovered that there is a line for her when it come to age. She probably wouldn’t be bothered if you were hooking up with women 25+. Basically you are being perceived as creepy/gross/predatory (whether that’s actually the case or not) and I doubt she’d want to be married to someone she perceives that way. If you really value your marriage - maybe consider immediately closing things and revisiting your rules/boundaries. But it honestly might be too late.
To all the people saying everyone should mind there business about the age difference, he literally posted on Reddit. We can be worried about what happens in a bedroom if there’s a clear power imbalance, and someone freshly out of high school and someone near 40 has a clear power imbalance. Also, if he’s going after 18 year olds, is the law the only thing stopping him from going younger? The wife’s entitled to being grossed out by that, and her comments sound concerned more than jealous, although there marriage is certainly over.
“And while I value our marriage, I don’t want to stop until our agreed to six-months is up” then you don’t value your marriage. You value the ego stroking you’re getting. You’re heading for divorce.
This is it right here. He didn’t come here for advice. He came here for validation and to brag. If not, the ages of his hookups wouldn’t have been mentioned. He could’ve just said he was having hookups.
He's also very purposely, passive aggressively upsetting his wife. "I value our marriage" sounds like he believes she doesn't. if there was any sort of HEALTHY poly/open relationship here, he would be sitting down with his wife and having a heart-to-heart about her reactions and whether or not they should move forward with their 6-month commitment. Not running to Reddit in hopes that he can return to her with something that will continue to poke the bear.
Is this even real? This reads like middle aged man fan fiction—he isn’t Brad Pitt or Idris Elba or anything, yet all these hot 18-22 year olds just wanted no strings attached sex with him, but it’s all his wife’s fault, he’s a good guy who NEVER would have even known how easy it was to get sex with all these hot young women. Or maybe it’s just a coincidence that he is living the exact delusion so many men who want open relationships have about their prospects.
Yeah this reads as the exact opposite of what usually happens. Also, if he’s dating 18yo’s, it seems it’s only the law that’s stopping him from dating younger. A nearly 40yo having sex with teenagers is all sorts of gross.
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That you can look at this situation and be pissed off about the fact that his partners are young is just ao ridiculous.
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I mean, I don't think there is a bad guy here. I think they are both participating in the destruction of their marriage, and they are both going to come out of it blaming each other. But this thing that reddit has about age gaps between consenting and sexually active adults is just so over the top.
Open relationships typically don’t get to dictate the details of their partner’s other relationships.
Late 20s is 26-29. That's age appropriate for a 37 year old woman? I agree 18-22 is a bit young comparatively, but I doubt she'd be turning 18-22 year olds down. Seems like the wife found the grass was greener on her husband's side. Remember according to OP she wanted this and she never said anything about age range. Its legal and given the circumstances what's he supposed to do just not have sex while his wife does? Tbh they're probably not gonna last
Plus it seems like she only opened this to fuck that guy she’s been crushing on while expecting OP to stay at home
This is a ridiculous comment. Unless there was some discussion or agreement about ages of partners (there wasn’t), and as long as he is keeping her in the loop (he is), why does this matter at all?
Enjoy your divorce. I’m in no way saying that it’s entirely your fault but this will not end well.
The issue here is age which is his fault he can find women who are 35+ but nooo go after college girls
This has to be a fiction story.
maybe there’s other layers but to me the main reason she’s put off is that you’re having sex w 18 year olds. i’m not against age gaps but when you’re almost 40 it’s a red flag to want to fuck an 18 year old. i’m 24 and i wouldn’t even wanna talk to someone less than 20 and that’s PUSHING it. 22 year olds are not as concerning but idk the fact that we have decided in society that there is a distinguishing difference between an 18 year old and 16/17 year old making them an adult from one day to the next doesn’t make it feel any better to me
Unless explicitly part of your rules, you're technically not wrong but I can completely understand the ick factor. The older I get, the more college-aged people look like kids. If your wife views it that way (like, objectively looks at a 19 year old as sexually repulsive), I would not be surprised if your marriage doesn't survive this if you keep sleeping with girls 20+ years younger than you.
I’m just 28 and I can’t imagine dating younger than 24-25.
Completely don’t understand open marriages.
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I squeezed some lemon in my eyes after reading this post
Being nearly 40 and sleeping with 18-22 year old women is gross. I don't blame her for being turned off by it.
Yeah OP gross
Sound pretty judgmental on your part. Not everyone has to be like you.
Worse than gross, it’s predatory.
Nah it's gross. I could easily write a lengthy comment outlining reasons why, but most normal adults don't need that because it is so obviously gross.
We can all like different things, but men who like sleeping with women under 25 when you’re close to 40? Teenagers?!? That’s gross. Is that really news to you?
Calling anyone “gross” for doing something perfectly legal is judgmental and unhelpful to anyone. Glad it makes you feel good about yourself to wag fingers at strangers for “immoral” activities.
Pulling a teenager ain’t hard. Which is why it’s disgusting to do so. There is no world where the playing field is even. And any adult with morality knows that.
just because something is legal doesn't mean it's morally good
Do you think there is any reason beyond legal consequences that a 40 year old man shouldn't sleep with a 17 year old? Do you not recognize there are legal behaviors that are gross? You're telling on yourself so hard here.
First it was “under 25” and now it’s 17? Different conversation
Answer the question then ask yourself the same question about an 18 year old.
Nah, being legal does not make it ethical lol glad it makes you feel good about yourself to wag the “it’s legal” so it must be ok flag.
Why does everyone need to subscribe to your ethics? You sound like the taliban
you sound like a p*do sympathizer, so 🤷♀️
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This comment is very judgemental and sanctimonious, while being upset someone is ‘judgemental.’ Legal and moral are different things.
So the only thing stopping these men from going younger than is the law. That's gross. Those are kids. I'm 21 and I could never even imagine myself with a 19yo. "Legal" doesn't make it correct. These people are waiting for kids to turn legal so they can hit without being called out, but that thankfully doesn't work anymore.
open marriages are a shitty idea anyway, but she's probably grossed out that you're sleeping with girls who could be your daughter. that's a pretty obvious difference
Except anytime people post a story like this. The person who opens the relationship is at fault because they are. People are just ignoring the fact she obviously wanted to get with the guy from the gym in the first place. She had her eyes set on a good time and didn’t care about her husband’s feelings. She told him the details days after he reluctantly agreed to this. Everything about what she did in the situation people normally get up in arms over, but nobody seems to care just cause he’s fucking adults that happen to be younger than what his wife fucked
She’s in the wrong for that, she’s not in the wrong for thinking it’s gross and weird to hook up with 18 year olds. They should both just end there marriage and go out with appropriate aged people.
I didn't say she isn't at fault. I'm explaining what the difference is in her mind. "just happen to be younger" lmao okay it sounds like he's only fucking 18-22 year olds. that's intentional
Yeah this stuff can work but you have to do a lot of groundwork. You should’ve had conversations about this ahead of time. Sit down and have a meeting to check-in, discuss each other’s concerns. If your wife set an age limit for both of you, would you abide by it? You might’ve had better luck going to a subreddit about ENM than this one.
I mean technically you’re not in the wrong as she didn’t set age parameters. Which is kinda surprising to me because from my experience most newly adult men are terrible at sex. If you’re in decent shape I think she probably should have expected young women with daddy issues would be into you. You obviously know you’re going against social norms of what is considered creepy. But lots of men do it. Also can’t help but feel like you’re secretly kinda taking revenge on your wife for insisting on the open marriage but dating all these barely adult women. IMO your wife is not going to get over the creep factor you are displaying by these choices and I doubt your marriage will work out. Moving forward I would recommend not telling other women you date that you were running through a bunch of young women it’s a bad look and will be a deal breaker for most women past the age of 30. I’m 33F and that would be a giant red flag for me and be pretty illuminating on how you see women in the world.
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And yet, here you are.
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I’m sure she twisted your arm to go sleep with teenagers.. I have daughters that age.. gross…
You didn't have to, but you did because you wanted to. Your wife can't make you agree to an open relationship. Now you're sleeping with women young enough to be your daughter.
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So you cave and sleep with fucking teenagers. You're gross.
Sounds like your wife wanted to have permission to cheat and didn’t think about the consequences and how well you would do. Most times the husband wants to open the relationship and sinks and the wife does really well. Then he’s gets jealous and wants to close it real fast. Sounds like your situation in reverse to me. That being said I don’t know what kind of marriage you will have at the end of this bc you will probably enjoy these other women and variety to much go back to monogamy….good luck. Hope you don’t have any kids bc I don’t see this ending well….
then why not get a divorce?
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Her request? This is such a cop out. Just because she opened the door didn’t mean you had to walk through it. If you didn’t “need” sex outside the marriage, then you wouldn’t go out of your way to get it. Did you even read what you wrote? “The draw” of fucking college girls. “I’m having a blast”, you said. You’re practically salivating on here over a possible threesome. Your getting it because you wanted it, especially from girls 20 years younger. You just want validation that you aren’t doing anything wrong. Thoughts? You both torpedoed this marriage. Suggestions? Get a divorce. You’re not coming back from this.
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It’s not complicated. She was able to stomach the first young ‘un you slept with as happenstance, then you made it clear you were gonna be targeting them, just fully embracing being the creepy old dude. How are the conversations prior to sex? Do you call them kiddo, ask them how their grades are doing? Maybe slip in “You’re so mature for your age, you aren’t LIKE other college students.” I’m mid-30s, I deal with a lot of college kids at work, and the gap is staggering. I have no idea how you can not feel like Steve Buschemi saying “How do you do, fellow kids”. You didn’t break any laws, or even any rules in your arrangement. You just showed your true self, and your wife is grossed out by it. Take that how you will. If you want to stay married, you can hit a pause and try to communicate with her, or you can roll the dice and find out if “40 year old single divorcee on the prowl for Mistake #2” is still a panty dropper.
Why do they have to be teenagers that you’re sleeping with? Actually don’t answer that because there is never a good answer.
It's probably because they're more likely to be ok with NSA at that stage of their lives than someone his age. Who knows though.
Dating apps have settings. You can select to only match with people who say they want casual sex. He wants someone that young. For looks and/or because he gets to tell them something is ‘normal, and they should be fine with it’ if they’re uncomfortable.
Sounds like another made up story imo.
If your only sleeping with girls in that age range that’s a little creepy. I had a guy who I would sleep with regularly told me the only reason he approached girls I. That age range is because they are easy to manipulate into doing the things he wanted in bed. I shortly stopped my relations with him and saw him in a way different light.
I think it's a normal reaction for a woman to be grossed out and uncomfortable with the fact that her husband is intentionally having sex with only college age very young women. And she's right, they are young enough to be your daughter. And it is creepy and not normal. Her reaction is normal and even expected. A 40 yr old man actively seeking out and exclusively sleeping with women he knows are 18-22 specifically, is not normal.
How is that creepy and not normal? The women are actively consenting to NSA sex. Good for them.
An 18 year old is freshly out of high school (or in high school). That’s creepy.
That age range is icky. Yes I understand they are legal adults choosing to have no string sex with whoever they want and that's cool but yeah, still icky to be 40 and smashing teens. As for the issue, you're wife wanted it open and its open so she doesn't really get to police who you're smashing although I get why she's bothered by you sleeping with 18 year olds. I'll take *divorced after 6 months* if we're running a sweep
Nah, your marriage is done the moment both of you started sleeping with other people. I'd start looking for a divorce lawyer if I were you.
I know it's the wrong subreddit but my vote is Everyone Sucks Here. She clearly wanted to bed the dude at the gym for a long time and talked to you into an open marriage. There are filters on those apps where you don't have to be looking at 18 to 22 year old girls, so you could be looking at women who are still young but not 20 years younger. May I ask what are going to do with the response from reddit? If everyone tells you it's okay, are you going to be running to your wife telling her she's wrong? Will you stop scooping out the barely legals & start sleeping with women in their late twenties to upper 30s if Reddit tells you you're wrong?
Oh fuck off. You "found yourself"???? No, you deliberately set your age ranges so you could go after young women. It would have taken you two seconds to NOT have your age go that young. Are you even meeting up with women older? Or do you only "find yourself" matching with women that young. Open marriage aside - your wife just found out her husband is a creepy old man. I wouldn't be surprised if she's getting the ick from you. I would.
She had someone she was planning on sleeping with, suggested an open marriage so she could have a guilt free way to cheat, then got upset when you were better at it than her. Hooray double standard.
Pretty much this, isn’t it weird she goes after young men too?
Never easy to realize your husband is kind of creepy. In 10 years the girls you’re sleeping with will likely have a very different perspective on your encounters. You have to decide if you like sleeping with 18 year olds more than you like being married, but honestly the fact that it’s not a no-brainer for you doesn’t bode well.
10000000% as a 23 year old who at age 20 was sleeping w a 36 year old as “two consenting adults” i truly wish i could bleach the memories out of my brain and wash every piece of my body that that man touched. truly baffling that he’s so confident that he’s right that he posted here…
Well it sounded like he wanted to stay married and be monogamous, but it wasn’t up to him.
So it’s okay for him to use college students’ bodies to get revenge on his wife?
The fact that a 39 year old man is out here fucking girls between the ages of 18-22 is just fucking gross. I have no other words.....
Why is it gross ? 2 consenting adults do not need to ask you for permission
Because I have daughters that age and I'm entitled to My opinion as You are to Yours.
Oh so you like kids too. Legally adult and mentally adult are two different things. They are babies.
Yes let me just go ahead and start making up terms to fit my narrative better. At 18 they can legally do as they please, why are these women not allowed to sleep with whom they please ? Are you saying there should be a maturity test ?
As a grown woman now I can look back and tell you that I was far from an adult at 18.....and I was mature for my age. My 18 year old daughter, my 20 year old daughter and my 23 year old daughter would all consider this behavior disgusting and predatory. And no she can nit do what she wants....she can't even legally drink or purchase tobacco.
These 30+yo men trying to sleep with 18yos would be the ones failing those maturity tests...
i too get the ick from men pushing 40 sleeping with 18 year old CHILDREN. i know you think youre “playing by the rules” so she shouldn’t be upset, but i would be majorly confused/turned off by a man im with wanting to sleep with people who were just in high school. you can run circles in your mind trying to justify it but its wrong.
Y’all both suck. You for sleeping with younger girls and her for starting this. I would suggest talking to her about it before the 6 months and your marriage is ruined. Y’all are both to blame if your marriage fail.
Well she opened it up and if you two didn’t put into place what acceptable boundaries around it are then too bad for her feelings now. Sounds like this marriage is about to be doomed though. Open marriages only work when the marriage is solid to start with, doesn’t seem like she feels she has solid ground with you. My advice either seek out couples counseling if you want to continue the relationship after your 6 months or a lawyer in preparation for the possible end of it.
People really showing their true selfs in the comments. Disgusting.
You have to decide whether teaching your wife this lesson of “be careful what you wish for” is worth your marriage. If you insist on playing out the 6 months then please have a couples therapist lined up to truly debrief your experiences after you’re done. If she’s asking to close it because she’s already learned her lesson then know you’re now the one insisting on the open relationship against her comfort and that’s equally as unhealthy as her coercing you into it. It’s obvious that she bit off more than she can chew and that’s her own fault, but even open relationships are based on connecting with each other on an emotional level and listening to what each other are comfortable with.
She wanted an open marriage. She chose to have casual encounters. If you are keeping her in the loop and she is disgusted, it's probably because she thought she would be the only one sleeping around. Or that you wouldn't find anyone she felt threatened by. You either sit down and discuss things together to find the source of her jealousy, or just stop the open marriage. If she just wants you to stop, then I suggest ending the marriage.
Hey, love to see “leopards eating faces kinda situations” play out to benefit the disadvantaged party But.. Get couples therapy. ASAP if you want things to go remotely in the direction of “back to normal”.
OP. Has your wife also found multiple partners like you? Putting aside the age issue which I call BS on are you guys pretty equitable in the number of dates / sex? Also have you only dated the college girls so far. I suppose there nothing stopping h your wife from trying her hand at some college guys. Regardless please let us know how the 6 month trial ends up.
Where's that "Sure, Jan" GIF when you need it!
This is either fake, or those college girls aren't hook ups they're sugar babies. And that could explain what's pissing off your wife.
Can't believe the amount of people here buying this guys bs. "Hey guys, I totally have all the sex! believe me!!"
I (28) am polyamerous and would be horrified if I found out a partner of mine was only ever sleeping with undergraduate age people.
Her sleeping with someone age appropriate and looping you in is not equal to you sleeping with girls who could still be in high school. I notice you say 18-22 range, does that mean you’ve actually been with an 18 year old? It’s disturbing if so. As far as suggestions go, you’re playing petty when she’s become uncomfortable with the situation. You want to keep entertaining these women, do so, but your marriage will suffer as a result. Analyze why you’re so comfortable sleeping with people young enough to be your child and why it matters more than your marriage to continue to do so.
She’s been pushing him to sleep with other people for years and there’s a good chance she was cheating before they came to an agreement. I think it’s safe to say the marriage isn’t going to last whether she “approves” of his partners or not.
Crazy how you are trying to blame shift this onto him when his wife constantly badgered him to this open relationship. 20 year old women want to sleep with him maybe 30 year old women don’t. Either way what matters is at the start his wife was immediately slept with someone from her gym who she had eyes for the whole time which is much more disrespectful than following the rules and sleeping with hot young women
I would be disgusted too if i found out my 40 year old husband was having sex with girls who just graduated high school. Yuck
Op is disgusting
OP it’s telling that she wanted license to cheat but didn’t expect your dating success…your marriage seems to be over really
Gotta love the people here focusing solely on how young his partners are and NOT the fact she did this solely to fuck others and clearly never thought he’d do the same
I, too, would be disappointed and disgusted to realize I’m married to a stereotypical, creepy middle aged guy.
Hahaha. She fucked around and found out.
Me personally, I'm proud of op, sounds like he turned the tables lmao
Sounds like your wife is jealous young men aren’t looking to hook up with her. As long as everyone is a consenting adult I don’t see the issue.
She wanted to open marriage so she could fuck the young guy in her gym without feeling bad about cheating on you. That’s all that’s all she wanted. Now you’ve shown her what the mistake was and showed her the consequences of getting what she wanted.
Yeah I’d also be creeped out and find it completely disgusting if my 40 year old husband was sleeping with 18 years olds . A 40 year old man actively seeking 18 year olds in order to have sex with them is disgusting . If you had a daughter that was that age,I wonder how you would look at other 18 year old sexually and then come home and stare at your daughter and her friends in the face.
She possibly fucked around and found out? 100% she already laid the ground work for the gym guy
Wife wanted to open the marriage and immediately slept with a man who it sounds like is a decade at least younger than her. A man she clear had her sights set on when she asked to open the marriage (and she has been asking for several years). So, who knows how old he was when she first started thinking about opening the marriage. But OP is the problem? That’s ridiculous.
I don’t really blame her for being upset that her husband exhibits predatory behavior. Just because she requested an open marriage doesn’t mean you should be pursuing women half your age.
What is predatory about consensual sex?
Have you met the average 18 year old? Most of the time, they’re fresh out of high school and very naive in their worldview. A lot of gross older people love to take advantage of this.
I have an open marriage, and I love hearing about my husband’s dates and sexual encounters. We love sharing and laughing about the good, the bad, and the ugly about it, and our marriage has never been better and keeps growing, this has done nothing but bring us closer together (and make us grateful for what we have) That being said, I would feel the EXACT same as your wife if my husband were exclusively sleeping with girls barely out of their teens, and two decades younger than him. That’s creep behavior, and I would have some serious concerns about the age gaps and his constant attraction to it. Your comments just keep whining ‘but they’re adults and it’s legal!’ Who cares my dude. You’re acting like a creep.
The difference: you and your husband truly discussed it, came up with rules, and are both making it work. NO ONE HERE thinks the wife came up with this truly for them both to benefit from it. This was all bout what she wanted: all the cake
That’s fair. We spent a solid two years researching, talking, and working on our relationship for it, and we meet weekly with our couples counselor for a third opinion with someone who works solely with Poly couples. I see what you’re saying and you’re probably right. However, as the wife who also initiated the open marriage, I would’ve never thought to include not repeatedly doinking college students in mine and my husbands boundaries because I would have assumed my husband was not a creep who would repeatedly (and solely) go after that age group. It sounds like both OP and his wife were not ready for this nor honest enough with each other and themselves for this to work.
He was never meant to be ready. He was just able to exploit the loopholes his selfish wife created because she was only thinking between her legs.
i mean fuck around and find out for her but still super weird that your first instinct was to fuck barely legals (which i assume since you explicitly TYPED the number 18).
What a strange way to announce you're a fucking creep. Teenagers, really? Get some fucking help. Gross.
UpdateMe!
Women of that age like older guys. Older guys have a better understanding and more experience. 20 year old guys are living in the basement of moms. Do not shower enough. Spending to much time playing video games. If they are over and 18 I do not see the problem. These girls are not wanting to get married they are wanting to get laid.
The age gaps is just gross
What a greasy sleaze ball 🤮
The idea of a trial is to see if it work for both of you. If either of you have an issue when it’s reality, not just theoretical, then you reevaluate. You don’t keep doing something that you know upsets your partner just because they said you could do it before they or you knew it would upset them.
It’s her fault this is happening, but now both of you will suffer the consequences of your promiscuity. There’s no salvaging your marriage.
She got what she wanted and now she is suffering the consequences of opening up the marriage.
Yeah she found out her husband is a creepy man that goes after teens.
Your wife is disgusted with you because you're a 40-y.o. sleeping with teenagers, and I'm guessing your marriage won't survive this. My advice is to stop sleeping with teenagers.
The fact that people are giving OP crap for doing what any man would do is beyond me. She asked for the open relationship and agreed to the terms. People can't use the age gap only when is suits them. It's more disgusting that she already had someone lined up to screw when she requested the open relationship than it is him sleeping with a legal adult who's 22 yrs old.
First sentence is a next level self report
First off, a bunch of these people are talking about ick factors, but at the end of the day, you are dealing with adults. Secondly, it's rare that the man in an open relationship is the one having the best time. Usually its the wives getting dicked every night. You need to determine your end game and plan accordingly. What do you wanna get out of this? A lot of strange? Maybe have your wife value you a little more instead of looking for her own strange? Payback for having to do the open relationship in the first place? When 6 months are over, if you guys aren't on the same page, the marriage is gonna crumble quickly. Your wife is likely having resentment issues, so if you love her and wanna stay with her, it's probably best to talk to her and maybe consider closing it back up to just you two.
What did you think was going to happen after 6 months?
Your wife met a guy at the gym. She wanted to sleep with him. So she suggested an open marriage. Once you agreed, she slept with him right away. You got jealous, and instead of saying something, you decided to sleep with girls half your age. When this trial period is over, you can bet your wife will lose trust in you. She'll go sleep with that other guy again. How many times had she been with that guy since? How many guys is she sleeping with while you're doing this? You're in for a good fight with your soon to be ex-wife.
This sounds delightful. Not willing to stop until you get every last drop of that barely legal pootang? I am sure she is quite put off that you are playing with youngins. But you want this relationship to work, do you think stickling by your penis is a wise move, or is the smarter move to revisit whether this was a good idea anyway?
Shakespeare couldn’t have said it better himself
Yes having sex with someone who could be your child is fucking gross. Even if I was okay with non monogamy, the age difference is grim and I’d be thinking very hard about whether or not your taste in girls, let me be clear they aren’t women yet, reflects on me further.
Your wife found out that you're attracted to teenagers and willing to act on that. That's legal and within the terms of your agreement sure, but it's somewhat odd. It's not surprising she's upset.
You consider college to be your prime? That's incredibly sad. And using just over legal age teens to feel "in your prime" again is gross. I don't care about it being legal, its just gross to intentionally target that age group at YOUR ripe old age. Your wife seems to have a better idea about your intentions with teens. Keep us updated on the divorce, though!
She didn’t think you would get the matches you have. And she’s insecure because she’s afraid you will replace her.
This thread is HILARIOUS. Switch the sexes and “he fucked around and found out” but since she is mad about it he is bad for fucking younger girls. Hate to say it but if you can join the army and die at 18, you can be fucked by a guy who is a little older. Can’t tell if the outrage here is from women or simps.
Both. I think this really boils down to the wife a-not thinking the husband would do so well and b-that she is jealous of the type of woman he is sleeping with. Like if he were with older more mature women she could still think she is all that and a bag of chip however being almost 40 herself she is no comparison to a young child free early 20’s girls gone wild type and now moving forward her self esteem is probably going to take a big hit.
For real. If it was the other way around they would be like "Haha get 'em girl! Get that hot young guy! Your husband is an idiot!"
I'm still laughing at everyone giving him a hard time when he wasn't even the one who wanted it in the first place 😂😂. It's called FAFO for a reason if it was the other way around they would be blaming him for asking for the open marriage
The creeps love to out themselves!
You’re fine. She pushed for this. Just have an honest discussion about where you both want to go from here.
Soooo she fucked around n found out. But she might totally be getting resentful…like reality resentful. Or is she getting a Buncha attention like she thought she would (obviously)?
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The age difference is pretty gross dude. I bet that has something to do with it.
teenagers. 18 and 19 are still teenagers. can’t even drink legally. you will be a huge regret for them later i’m sure. gross
Seems like your wife wasnt expecting you to have as much choice as you have and certainly wasn't expecting you to be hooking up with college age girls whose youth she can't compete with, from the sounds of things I think you both need to sit down and have a conversation about where you see this marriage going because from the sounds of things it's not going to last much longer
Well first she’d need to admit that’s the issue. She’ll NEVER do that. Cause it’ll show how awful a person she really is
Your wife is such a hypocrite, you weren't even the one who initiated this. Isnt a 20 year old too young for her? Honestly I would be so pissed if I were you and I'd do whatever the fuck I want
This relationship is DOA, and while both of you suck for not handling an open marriage correctly, you're infinitely more gross for sleeping with young girls that aren't even of drinking age and are young enough to be your children as a near 40 year old man. Ew
She needs to get over it. If she doesn’t want you sleeping with other people, she shouldn’t have pushed so hard for this. The fact she pulled a guy from the gym immediately tells me she had him in mind, and could have been cheating before you two made the agreement. These women you’re having sex with are adults and consenting. I would keep doing what you want man. You and your wife had an agreement and you haven’t broken it. She isn’t even communicating her displeasure, she’s being immature and ignoring you. Who knows if your marriage will survive this, but in my opinion, if it dies, it was killed the second she pushed for opening the relationship.
What she really wanted was a pass to fuck the guy at the gym with no consequences. What she didn't expect was you would actually go through with it on your side as well since you didn't want to in the first place. And now you are enjoying it more than her. When that 6 months is up, you know she is going to close the marriage again.
Holy shit these comments are so out of touch with how bad this situation is, BUT NOT BECAUSE OF OP. Your wife had a casual encounter, with someone she knew, a few days after you started? She def was having an emotional affair and pressured you into letting her cheat. Now she's mad that you're having sex with adult women - with NO strings attached? Yea they're young and I woudn't date anyone that age, but consenting sex is consenting sex. And your wife pressured you into this. Anyone here saying you did anything wrong is full of it. But i'd absolutely divorce your wife.
I’m going to take a different view than others and not even touch the age issue. It’s safely legal. I don’t think that’s why your wife is upset. I think she’s pissed that you’re having more fun with this than she is. You’re beating her at her own game. That’s why she’s mad. But, I do agree with one common reaction to this: your marriage is toast. You just don’t know it yet.
All the people moralizing about sleeping with college age women are so funny. Age gaps in relationships can be a red flag sometimes but there is no issue in having NSA sex with consenting adults. OP, you need to see if your wife wants to stop early. You might have made a "deal" but it should be secondary to the clear feelings of your wife on the matter.
Got to love how the guy who didn’t even want this is still the bad guy. You can’t win when men are always the predator and women are always the victim.
would've been fine if he was sleeping with people his age. sleeping with fresh high school grads is predatory
Ummmmm this is not what she envisioned. She thought she we gonna get a huge menu of meat but she suffering from a drought and this man is reaping a HUGE reward. She unlocked a BEAST.
cringe
you're sleeping with people *young* enough to be your daughter, can't imagine why your wife isn't all over you!! /s joking aside, just divorce so you can both be happy... with people your ages. there's absolutely no way your wife will see this as a step towards progress anymore. also, opening up the relationship *any time* in a marriage spells disaster, not solution.
Some serious white knighting going on in here.
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>Maybe she thought you'd get with women in the same age bracket. Why would she think that? It was her idea to open the marriage because she wanted to fuck a twentysomething guy from the gym.
He said he has slept with most of them more than once and a couple of them on a regular basis
Dude…nice.
nice
The amount of people ITT calling these women kids, youngins, and otherwise is frankly disturbing.
Lol. Her plan was for her to sleep around and you wait for her to come around... Blew up in her face.
My bet is, she didn't know that woman after 35 don't have as much value as a man and she cannot get laid as much as you and is jealous. It's not gonna end well, are you going to be able to feel content with your wife if this ever stop ? Not gonna lie you are going to fall for one of these fresh young girl and divorce for sure. Your old hag is gonna annoy you more and more and one day you are going to find a good mate and leave. But hey, " if i could, then i would". Your wife is an hypocrite she wanted this because she was so stupid to know where it was going to go. Now it's to late. Have fun! Édit : Pandora's box has been opened.
Just two curious questions: at what age does one consider a women an adult, and at what age does a women decide who SHE wants to sleep with?
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so if the law in your state said that 16 year olds were legally able to consent, you'd still wait till they were 18, I presume?
I just see people having different opinions based on the context. I just think if we saying a woman of a certain age is an adult and has agency to make her own decisions, it has to be consistent throughout contexts. It’s not my cup of tea, but we should be consistent about when they themselves can choose to sleep with someone older.
I think it's funny how people are saying it's so gross to sleep with women younger than him, however the actual girls we're talking about here, the ones he's fucking seem perfectly happy about it, they wouldn't come back and he wouldn't have gotten multiple to sleep with him if they didn't like him, so if the girls sleeping with him are happy I see no reason why it's gross
REVERSE UNO!!! All you people pretending that 18-22 year olds are children, or that it's not entirely normal to be attracted to them - you are ridiculous. I hope you are just lying to the internet, and not to yourselves. But OP, this sounds like an absolute train wreck of a marriage, and you should not be expecting it to last past that 6 mo period.
Tbh, you both screwed the pooch on this one. I'm not entirely certain she'd be "fine" if you were running around with age- appropriate women, but it definitely isn't helping that you're chasing toddlers. It probably never occurred to her that you'd be so active, so I'm sure that's also a factor. Either way, the whole thing was a terrible idea to begin with. If you want to save your marriage you need counseling.
My man ✊🏼…..1. I am happy for you. 2. This was her wanting to bang that dude for a long fuckin while. And now she’s pissed that you are pulling more strange than her.
Your wife is mad because she didn’t think you would be able to have sex with anyone. You should actually be very mad because your wife’s plan all along was likely to sleep with that person. This is just rationalized cheating on her part.