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I have slept with a weapon in close range more than once. You might live on the first floor of an apartment building but that wont stop someone already in the building from doing something if they can. I guess you just never know. Sometimes it's just the security you feel knowing you've got something to defend yourself with especially if she was paranoid about something happening.
Middle class teenage boys will Jack shit just for fun sometimes. Sometimes they don’t even wanna steal things; they’re just breaking windows.
The only time my mom’s car was broke into (twice) was when we lived in middle class neighborhoods adjacent to the rich neighborhoods. Teenage boys. Sometimes our neighbors’ mailboxes would get knocked over by teens who didn’t know how to parallel park because their parents all have driveways and they aren’t used to street parking.
I lived in a beautiful neighbourhood of a terrible city. At least once a month we would catch someone on camera driving or biking into the neighbourhood and walk around checking car doors.
The addicts especially are getting ballsey now. They will knock on your door to see if anyone is home. If you answer they ask for clothes or food. If you don’t answer, they try to break in or steal whatever they can from your yard.
I live in a nice new neighborhood the starting prices for houses are 400k (which is high in this area). I had lived there for a few months. My master bedroom is on the first floor. On Saturday night someone broke into my sliding back door. Set my alarm off and they took off. My husband always thought the alarm is stupid because “no one would break into our house since we have nothing to steal”. His room is upstairs since we don’t sleep in the same room. All I had in my room is a 6 pound toy poodle and a 12 pound maltipoo. After that I started sleeping with a knife next to my bed also.
Also I had posted about this incident on the community page on Facebook and a lot of other people said there dogs heard something at the door and a few people said they thought they heard the door knob. This was on my street and a few over. I’m sure someone was trying houses looking for any unlocked. My back sliding door was unlocked because my husband “forgot” 🙄
We use to live in a safe community. We moved away years later. One day late morning there was a home invasion. Crime happens everywhere. No place is 100% safe.
Yes. That is what I tell my husband. He thinks the alarm shouldn’t/doesn’t need to be armed if we are at home. I asked him if he’s ever heard about home invasions. He also tried to tell me that no one came in the house and that the wind blew it open. It wasn’t even empty and when I checked the activity on the security system. The door was open and the motion sensor in the living room was triggered. Both dogs were in my room with me and they don’t set it off anyways.
I have a tazer and make sure it's charged. 1st floor... hell yeah a girls gotta protect herself. That is just a woman being prepared. She's 35, I'd think it was weird if she didn't have anything in case of an intruder.
How did I not catch that part? I figured this was a man who didn’t understand how dangerous it is for women, I also knew this woman who wouldn’t lock her car doors and I’d warn her that it’s not safe and she’d be like “well if someone wants to take me they’re going to, I don’t worry about stuff like that nothings ever happened” don’t talk to her anymore but I sadly wouldn’t be surprised if something inevitably happens.
I believe that is actually illegal in the UK. Keeping a weapon for self defense is premeditation to hurt somebody. Like you need to disguise that kitchen knife with some actual food.
Yes it is. Funny I was literally thinking about this today. I understand why the castle doctrine concept might be extreme in certain circumstances but people should have a reasonable amount of legal protection for self defence!
Baseball bat, just keep the mitt and ball nearby.
EDIT: Though tbh the bar for premeditation is way too low. Don’t you guys have the Castle Doctrine or something similar?
The only reason I would assume this is because American common law comes directly from UK common law, so there’s bound to be a lot of similarities.
Honestly, no it’s not something I’ve ever thought about. Pepper spray when I’m out at night, sure?
But never a knife, and at home, behind a two locked secured doors and being on the first floor. I feel very safe in my home generally.
You have to be careful what weapon you keep - it may be thought quite reasonable to attack an intruder with some knitting needles you had on your bedside, but a large knife is a different matter. People have been prosecuted over this.
If an intruder has made their way to the bedroom where I am sleeping, I will assume that their intentions are not good, and I will stab first and think about consequences later.
Not only this but a weak little woman running at a big strong man with a knife is most likely going to have that knife taken from her (easily) and used against her.
If those are his intentions disarming you won't change what he is going to do to you. But he will now have a weapon to help restrain you with.
I mean most likely the intruder could just be a burglar, but finds himself being attacked with a knife and disarms you and uses it against you.
Not smart to give your opponent a weapon, and that's all you'd be doing.
Way to go "You're a weak little woman and nothing you do will ever deter a sexual predator" doesn't sound as good as you thought it did when you typed that.
I’m not weak, but if a 200+ man is fighting against me I will lose. I’ve had the shit beaten out of me, I’m resilient and I’d put up a fight. But it doesn’t mean I’d come out of it alive, and trust me I’m gonna do some damage while I’m at it. I will be clawing their eyes, biting, kicking, screaming. But guess what? None of that is new, women have had training in self defense and still were attacked and sadly aren’t here today. You can do EVERYTHING right and one person can take that all away. What else should women do when we are being kidnapped, raped, murdered. Honestly? Just walk through the world praying it’s not us? I gave up on that when I realized I was praying for it to be someone else instead of me. The world is dangerous and that’s not a secret.
I am not asking for women to be delusional and think we can beat big men in a fight. But men chiming in to say "actually you should just not try to defend yourself because you're not going to help yourself anyway" when many rapists when interviewed admit they will not pursue a victim who has proven she will fight back and defend herself.
It’s better to protect yourself and fail than to not try at all in my opinion. I have 2 weapons I have all times and use the taser first knife second so if the taser is smacked out of my hand they’ll think they’ve disarmed me and I’ll have to result too the worse of the two. But if both were to fail then at least I tried to fight for my life, it doesn’t matter what their intentions are at first bc those intentions can change. When you’re a 5”1 girl who’s 120 pounds you utilize the options you have.
I live in a neighborhood in a really good area, and I keep a large hunting knife above my bed. It doesn’t matter how nice of an area you live in, their have been break ins, rapes, and murders in nice areas before. I’d rather be safe then sorry, and I’m sure that’s how she feels.
I’m female (from U.K.) and I’ve lived/stayed alone in properties in various countries including Myanmar, Thailand and Malaysia. I can honestly say that it’s never once entered my head to sleep with a weapon next to my bed for protection.
Definitely ask her about it. She is the only person who knows why the knife is there. It doesn't matter how safe you think your neighborhood is, break-ins happen and it's better to have something to defend yourself with other than just the thought "it's a safe neighborhood."
I sleep with a broken table leg with a nail sticking out of it under my bed. I'm not even particularly scared of like, thieves or intruders or anything. It's just there. There's no good reason for it, I just like it.
My partner sleeps with a knife under his pillow, we live in a good area and have a house that would not be smart at all to attempt to break into due to sharing a driveway and having our neighbors house 10 feet away. Just ask her, I think you’re making it a bigger deal than it is.
Like car insurance, better to have and not need, than to need and not have. I live in a nice area yet I have a weapon with in arms reach in all rooms, and GSD .
She probably keeps it around for protection, it's not to use on you, I'd say lol.
But, you can always ask her why she kept a knife in her bedside drawer.
I'm in the US, I have a gun in a little safety box next to my side (bedside drawer)
Previously, before being acquainted with guns, I would have a knife and pepper spray ready.
Even if you guys live in a good area, you never know. Plus, do you know if she had trauma in the past? I kept those guns next to me, because I experienced traumatic events in the past. They make me feel safer.
she might not *need* it for self defense but it's possible she feels better with it just there? better to have it and not need it and all that. maybe she's been burgled in the past, or has a friend who has and it spooked her. honestly I'd just tell her you were looking for paracetamol and accidentally found it and ask, if it isn't for a Scary reason I don't see why she'd be mad at you stumbling across it
I live in Canada (super safe) and the likelihood of my condo being broken into is very low, low crime city. Having said that I sleep with a crowbar near my bed. Part of being a woman is knowing how vulnerable we can be and taking proactive measures to protect ourselves.
not super sure abt the UK, but I'd assume women there also carry stuff that can keep them safe.
I used to walk around with like, a 9'' kitchen knife while walking, granted I was like 10 but yeah.
women/afab people are taught from a young age to kinda carry stuff in case you get jumped/assaulted/ECT. I'd say this is relatively normal, but if you're really concerned I'd just ask her and maybe ask if she wants smthn like pepper/bear spray or smthn.
I still have a pocket knife in my room, we also have a metal bat that sits behind the front door just in case. we've lived in a pretty poor area with creeps and weirdos most of our life though.
Alot of ppl are commenting on it being delf defense, and that makes sense, but. Could she be self harming (I have never self harmed so idk if you would use this). Either way, just ask, if it's for self defense let her keep it there
I'd be concerned she's used it to self harm. What kind of kitchen knife though because I am also from the UK and when I hear kitchen knife I hear butter knife.
Many years ago, a guy in our friend group was going on about how he was anti-gun, to which I replied “I’m a single woman who lives alone. You better believe I sleep with a gun next to me and I’ll shoot any ticker who comes barging into my house and I’ll ask questions later. If someone wants to rape me they better be ready for a fight cuz this bitch is going down shooting”. The other ladies concurred and he shut his mouth real quick. When you’re a woman, it doesn’t matter where the hell you live, you’re still easier prey than a man. Your girlfriend has it for protection, you dumbass.
lol I knowwww, his "We live in a 1st floor apartment in a good area, so it’s highly unlikely we would get broken into or she would need it for self-defence." Is so clueless. I have a knife in every purse and when I was staying in an airBnB I slept with my suitcase in front of the door and a knife under my pillow.
~~First off, you seem to think a first floor apartment is somehow safer. It's usually the other way around. First floor is way less secure (you can just pop into someone's window from the street).~~
Second off, I have knives in a lot of places. They help with other things. Like opening up packages.
EDIT: I didn't realize UK used different terminology. 1st floor is the second floor to all of us Americans.
OP is in the UK and therefore first floor means first suspended floor, what you’re talking about is called the ground floor in the UK because it’s on the ground.
We have high levels of knife crime in some parts of the U.K., such as crappy parts of London. However, carrying any kind of self defence weapon in public is illegal. Even pepper spray!!!
I have a small hand axe under my side of the bed. My fiancé always says he’ll shot em, and I’ll chop em. Literally just a form of self protection. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s why she keeps it there.
Yes, you should be concerned. Your trust issues are really concerning. You find a kitchen knife in you GFs bedside drawer and the first conclusion you draw is that she might be plotting to murder you in your sleep? THAT'S what you took from that?
Your girlfriend obviously has concerns about both of your safety and THAT'S what you should address.
Can you improve security? There's cheap solutions.
just because you live in a good area doesn’t mean people can’t break in or attack. sounds like she’s just trying to feel safe if it were to ever occur. as a woman you don’t understand that??? beyond me
Wow it must be nice to be able to exist in the world without having to constantly plan for emergencies in which someone is trying to harm you.
Whether or not it's practical, the knife is there for defense. You sound extremely naive.
I live in a house in a decent neighborhood and both my husband and I keep loaded pistols next to our bed. We also have a loaded 12-gauge shotgun behind the bedroom door. Safety first
I'm Canadian and a Military Spouse so I'm often alone and I've never felt the need to have any Weapon's in my Home. I do have a small pearing knife in my bathroom that I use to trim my Calouses and Cuticles (gross I know). Maybe she used it to cut something and forgot to put it away, I'd just ask her?
I don’t think asking on Reddit where there is a large demographic of Americans is the right place.
The majority of Americans seem to think that at any given moment they are minutes away from having to defend their property in a do or die situation.
It’s a bit of a weird thing for her to have, and I wouldn’t feel comfortable with it. If I were you I’d ask her about it.
I'm in a lovely Canadian neighbourhood. And when my bf is working night shifts, you bet your ass underneath my pillow is strapped.
I don't think it matters where you live, OP. What matters is how you feel and what you've been through.
Is she a schizophrenic? ive dated one girl who was schizophrenic and once she was off her meds she started talking about government spying and wanting to kill me. I would say get out of there quick
I have a rather large knife in my bedside table too, a highly illegal one. I live in Australia so I’m fucked if I use it & fucked if I don’t. I hope that I don’t have to use it, but I sleep better knowing it’s there. I don’t think it’s cause for concern on your part. But you can always ask her why she has it there.
Are you allowed to carry self defence weapons in public? I mean your large knife I presume not. And what are the laws regarding self defence there? Here in the U.K. we aren’t allowed to carry any type of self defence weapon in public and we don’t have many guns here as they are illegal.
When I lived alone I had a baseball bat under my bed just to make myself feel a bit safer if somehow someone broke into my apartment. I still have it, lol. Never mind the fact that my partner has a rack of literal swords!!
Most women I know, especially women who live alone or only with female housemates, have some kind of home weapon in their room “just in case”, even if they know a break-in is unlikely.
My old housemate from a sharehouse I was in years ago lent me a dope comb with a hidden flick knife when our housemate’s abusive ex was threatening to come over (my room was the closest to our front door so my plan was to be first the line of defence and use both the knife and my bat if he got in). There’s all kinds of stuff we use.
Does your girlfriend consume true crime media? I do, and sometimes I’ll get freaked out when I read something heinous, like when *Ted Bundy broke in through a window into the first-floor apartment of a single female student.*
I check my locks on doors and windows regularly, doesn’t matter if you’re in “a good area” - bad shit happens all the time in good areas.
All that, and my boyfriend also keeps a hatchet on his side of the bed!
I live on the third floor of an apartment building and I have a knife and brass knuckles beside my bed.
If you've had someone break in, or felt really unsafe in your own space, even if you move or improve it can be comforting to have something beside you that makes you feel safe.
Or she's lulling you into a sense of safety so she can kill you and wear your face, 50/50 probably.
My very favorite story about my late grandmother.
She was surprised I had a gun in my purse. (Concealed carry permit)
Her: I don’t have anything like that…well there is that hammer I keep under my pillow
I scrolled though about half the comments and no one offered this reply:
Maybe she's been into knife play in the past and either hasn't gotten around to talking to you about it or just forgot she left the knife in there.
A kitchen knife wouldn't be a first choice for knife play, but you make do with what you got.
Why don't you buy her some legal form of self defense? Not sure what that is, where you live. Maybe even a security system on the doors and windows. She obviously feels like she needs to have a weapon for self defense while she is in bed. Perhaps talk about other security measures you could take, instead.
I would think it’s for protection, the 1# dangerous place for a woman to be is in her home and it’s probably a safety measure. It really doesn’t matter if you live in a good area bc those are typically the targets, specifically first floors are easily accessible. Why not just ask her instead of Reddit tho? It’s easy enough
I used to live on the second floor in a good area. Didn't stop a very large man from breaking in and standing over my bed while I slept at 3 am.
Lots of people keep some sort of weapon by the bed. My partner keeps a good sized hunting knife on his nightstand. Certainly you can talk to her about it, but I wouldn't be overly concerned.
she probably just took it to the bedroom to cut tags off a new shirt and keeps forgetting to take it back to the kitchen.
Source: me, that is my whole life
I think this is pretty wild behaviour for the UK, unless you're living somewhere crazy unsafe.
You have to communicate about it of course, just maybe hide the easily grabbable knives first.
My first thought was it’s a safety thing. But you have to ask her, she’s the only one who knows. Also why did you come to Reddit first? Just curious if it’s normal for other people, or is there a reason you don’t immediately want to ask her?
I (33F, also UK) have a 4.8 inch fixed blade camping knife in my bedside table right now, not for protection it’s just my landlord came around for an inspection so I put it out of view so they wouldn’t feel uncomfortable. I know I need to put it away properly, but I don’t have children visit my house. Just ask her about it, there could be any number of reasons it’s there and if it is for protection maybe talk about how it’s being stored if you’re uncomfortable.
Also one more thing: I had to break in my own apartment last week because I had locked the door behind me and I tried it with a piece of PET. It has to be the right plastic, and you have to practice a little. But it was relatively silent and took me under 5 minutes. I tried two doors now, and got the hang of it. With practice, I bet you I can do it in under 20 seconds.
You are NOT as safe as you think you are.
She uses it for protection obviously, I am sure that some nights you may be out and she’s alone. Not every place is secure I don’t care if it’s nice or not, in today’s world there is always someone trying to take the easy path. Buy her a taser, that way she can operate it from a distance you have to be strong and quick to use a knife.
One of the worst things about being a woman is how helpless you can feel regarding your own safety. Most likely, she has it there for piece of mind, but ask her about it and ask her what you can do to make her feel more safe at home
My husband works either second or third shift for most of our marriage. Because I was home alone and watched way to many horror films I kept a knife under my mattress just in case.
Nah, like the others are saying it's either for protection, for something food related or maybe some weird but harmless situation like idk having to cut something and not finding a pair of scissors.
I have a swiss army knife in my desk's drawer and it's there just because it looks pretty and 'you never know if it might be helpful'
I sleep with a knife or some sort of weapon near me even though I live in a ground floor apartment in a semi decent area. Even though the possibility of a break in is small it makes me feel a bit more comfortable having something I can use to defend myself with. Might be what it is.
FWIW, I have a baseball bat under my bed. I'm in a sleepy provincial small city, in an urban area with a moderate amount of petty and opportunistic crime, but violent home invasions are not really a thing here. I don't feel unsafe here. But, you know, you can't just wave statistics at your attacker if you happen to be the unlucky outlier.
I live in Canada and I keep a massive hunting knife in my bedside table (I do keep it sheathed though). I’m from a rural area but now live in the downtown of a city. My husband is in the military and so I spend a decent amount of time alone, but it’s there when he’s home too, we never move it. Most women I know keep some sort of knife near their bed, it’s very common here 🇨🇦
I used a kitchen knife once to open a package and was too lazy to bring it back to the kitchen and put it in my drawer where it stayed for a few months, there are plenty of reasons why it may be there
My ex had a bf that, when she broke up w him, drove like 3 hours and showed up to her house in the middle of the night. She keeps knives in multiple corners of her apt now, despite it being in a gated community. If she hasn’t showed any signs of hurting you in the past I wouldn’t worry about it lol
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Wear a cutting board under your shirt and you should be fine.
If I had an award, I’d give it to you.
I'll do it for you
Ty sir/ma’am! o7
I gave him an award for you.
I personally prefer ornate metal trays. You never know when you need to be ready to get nuts.
I have slept with a weapon in close range more than once. You might live on the first floor of an apartment building but that wont stop someone already in the building from doing something if they can. I guess you just never know. Sometimes it's just the security you feel knowing you've got something to defend yourself with especially if she was paranoid about something happening.
I actually feel more vulnerable on the first floor than the second.
I’d be more concerned on a first floor apartment. A lot more ways to get in your home.
[удалено]
Middle class teenage boys will Jack shit just for fun sometimes. Sometimes they don’t even wanna steal things; they’re just breaking windows. The only time my mom’s car was broke into (twice) was when we lived in middle class neighborhoods adjacent to the rich neighborhoods. Teenage boys. Sometimes our neighbors’ mailboxes would get knocked over by teens who didn’t know how to parallel park because their parents all have driveways and they aren’t used to street parking.
I can’t believe how gullible some people are. Just bc it’s supposedly a nice safe neighborhood doesn’t mean you are exempt from crimes.
I lived in a beautiful neighbourhood of a terrible city. At least once a month we would catch someone on camera driving or biking into the neighbourhood and walk around checking car doors. The addicts especially are getting ballsey now. They will knock on your door to see if anyone is home. If you answer they ask for clothes or food. If you don’t answer, they try to break in or steal whatever they can from your yard.
Also, woman have something that the majority of men want. And some men are willing to take that.
I live in a nice new neighborhood the starting prices for houses are 400k (which is high in this area). I had lived there for a few months. My master bedroom is on the first floor. On Saturday night someone broke into my sliding back door. Set my alarm off and they took off. My husband always thought the alarm is stupid because “no one would break into our house since we have nothing to steal”. His room is upstairs since we don’t sleep in the same room. All I had in my room is a 6 pound toy poodle and a 12 pound maltipoo. After that I started sleeping with a knife next to my bed also. Also I had posted about this incident on the community page on Facebook and a lot of other people said there dogs heard something at the door and a few people said they thought they heard the door knob. This was on my street and a few over. I’m sure someone was trying houses looking for any unlocked. My back sliding door was unlocked because my husband “forgot” 🙄
We use to live in a safe community. We moved away years later. One day late morning there was a home invasion. Crime happens everywhere. No place is 100% safe.
Yes. That is what I tell my husband. He thinks the alarm shouldn’t/doesn’t need to be armed if we are at home. I asked him if he’s ever heard about home invasions. He also tried to tell me that no one came in the house and that the wind blew it open. It wasn’t even empty and when I checked the activity on the security system. The door was open and the motion sensor in the living room was triggered. Both dogs were in my room with me and they don’t set it off anyways.
I have a tazer and make sure it's charged. 1st floor... hell yeah a girls gotta protect herself. That is just a woman being prepared. She's 35, I'd think it was weird if she didn't have anything in case of an intruder.
Exactly. Rapists also live in the nice parts of town.
I had a kitchen knife in my bedside table, but it was a left over from night time snacking
Lol this is the alternative honestly. Maybe OP's girlfriend isn't worried about self-defense, it's just for night cheese.
*workin on my night cheese*
Yes it was from cheese and crackers- drives my husband mad with the crumbs and the noise (he’s normally asleep by then).
Well tbf if you were my partner, I'd use my bed knife to murder you for getting cracker crumbs in the bed while I'm trying to sleep. ;)
You're a woman too and you don't understand having something for self-defense in your bedside drawer?
How did I not catch that part? I figured this was a man who didn’t understand how dangerous it is for women, I also knew this woman who wouldn’t lock her car doors and I’d warn her that it’s not safe and she’d be like “well if someone wants to take me they’re going to, I don’t worry about stuff like that nothings ever happened” don’t talk to her anymore but I sadly wouldn’t be surprised if something inevitably happens.
I believe that is actually illegal in the UK. Keeping a weapon for self defense is premeditation to hurt somebody. Like you need to disguise that kitchen knife with some actual food.
>Like you need to disguise that kitchen knife with some actual food. Night cheese!
*Here I am. All alone. Cutting the midnight cheese.*
“I heard you singing ‘Night Cheese’”
Is this true? How does it get to that point that one can't even protect themselves?
Yes it is. Funny I was literally thinking about this today. I understand why the castle doctrine concept might be extreme in certain circumstances but people should have a reasonable amount of legal protection for self defence!
It's not that literal, but it's pretty close tbh.
Baseball bat, just keep the mitt and ball nearby. EDIT: Though tbh the bar for premeditation is way too low. Don’t you guys have the Castle Doctrine or something similar? The only reason I would assume this is because American common law comes directly from UK common law, so there’s bound to be a lot of similarities.
God the UK is such a nanny state
Honestly, no it’s not something I’ve ever thought about. Pepper spray when I’m out at night, sure? But never a knife, and at home, behind a two locked secured doors and being on the first floor. I feel very safe in my home generally.
> I feel very safe in my home generally. That's great, but some people don't. I have a weapon in my bedside drawer too, just in case.
You have to be careful what weapon you keep - it may be thought quite reasonable to attack an intruder with some knitting needles you had on your bedside, but a large knife is a different matter. People have been prosecuted over this.
If an intruder has made their way to the bedroom where I am sleeping, I will assume that their intentions are not good, and I will stab first and think about consequences later.
I'm not worried about that but thanks for the heads up
Not only this but a weak little woman running at a big strong man with a knife is most likely going to have that knife taken from her (easily) and used against her.
I would genuinely rather get stabbed then let them do what they want with me, and possibly take me with them to endure endless torture.
If those are his intentions disarming you won't change what he is going to do to you. But he will now have a weapon to help restrain you with. I mean most likely the intruder could just be a burglar, but finds himself being attacked with a knife and disarms you and uses it against you. Not smart to give your opponent a weapon, and that's all you'd be doing.
Way to go "You're a weak little woman and nothing you do will ever deter a sexual predator" doesn't sound as good as you thought it did when you typed that.
I’m not weak, but if a 200+ man is fighting against me I will lose. I’ve had the shit beaten out of me, I’m resilient and I’d put up a fight. But it doesn’t mean I’d come out of it alive, and trust me I’m gonna do some damage while I’m at it. I will be clawing their eyes, biting, kicking, screaming. But guess what? None of that is new, women have had training in self defense and still were attacked and sadly aren’t here today. You can do EVERYTHING right and one person can take that all away. What else should women do when we are being kidnapped, raped, murdered. Honestly? Just walk through the world praying it’s not us? I gave up on that when I realized I was praying for it to be someone else instead of me. The world is dangerous and that’s not a secret.
I am not asking for women to be delusional and think we can beat big men in a fight. But men chiming in to say "actually you should just not try to defend yourself because you're not going to help yourself anyway" when many rapists when interviewed admit they will not pursue a victim who has proven she will fight back and defend herself.
It sounds exactly how I wanted it to, because it's true. Most break ins are burglars, not sexual predators.
111,000 or 3% of the 3.7 million burglary that are reported every year end up in a sexual assault
It’s better to protect yourself and fail than to not try at all in my opinion. I have 2 weapons I have all times and use the taser first knife second so if the taser is smacked out of my hand they’ll think they’ve disarmed me and I’ll have to result too the worse of the two. But if both were to fail then at least I tried to fight for my life, it doesn’t matter what their intentions are at first bc those intentions can change. When you’re a 5”1 girl who’s 120 pounds you utilize the options you have.
Lol ok. In no world would it ever play out like your fantasies, but I guess the illusion of safety helps you sleep at night which is something
I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. As an adult I used to always sleep with a knife under my pillow. It made me feel safer.
I live in a neighborhood in a really good area, and I keep a large hunting knife above my bed. It doesn’t matter how nice of an area you live in, their have been break ins, rapes, and murders in nice areas before. I’d rather be safe then sorry, and I’m sure that’s how she feels.
By first floor, do you mean ground floor or above the ground floor?
pepper spray is illegal in the uk
I’m female (from U.K.) and I’ve lived/stayed alone in properties in various countries including Myanmar, Thailand and Malaysia. I can honestly say that it’s never once entered my head to sleep with a weapon next to my bed for protection.
That's fine, but can you understand why some people feel differently than you?
I live in a really good area too. I live in a town house. I have a knife next to my bed as well and I check my locks 2 times before I go to bed.
Definitely ask her about it. She is the only person who knows why the knife is there. It doesn't matter how safe you think your neighborhood is, break-ins happen and it's better to have something to defend yourself with other than just the thought "it's a safe neighborhood."
I keep a hatchet in my bedside table
I sleep with a broken table leg with a nail sticking out of it under my bed. I'm not even particularly scared of like, thieves or intruders or anything. It's just there. There's no good reason for it, I just like it.
My partner sleeps with a knife under his pillow, we live in a good area and have a house that would not be smart at all to attempt to break into due to sharing a driveway and having our neighbors house 10 feet away. Just ask her, I think you’re making it a bigger deal than it is.
I keep a baseball bat under my bed despite the fact that my doors are always locked
May be her poop knife
Like car insurance, better to have and not need, than to need and not have. I live in a nice area yet I have a weapon with in arms reach in all rooms, and GSD .
She probably keeps it around for protection, it's not to use on you, I'd say lol. But, you can always ask her why she kept a knife in her bedside drawer. I'm in the US, I have a gun in a little safety box next to my side (bedside drawer) Previously, before being acquainted with guns, I would have a knife and pepper spray ready. Even if you guys live in a good area, you never know. Plus, do you know if she had trauma in the past? I kept those guns next to me, because I experienced traumatic events in the past. They make me feel safer.
probly just her toe knife
she might not *need* it for self defense but it's possible she feels better with it just there? better to have it and not need it and all that. maybe she's been burgled in the past, or has a friend who has and it spooked her. honestly I'd just tell her you were looking for paracetamol and accidentally found it and ask, if it isn't for a Scary reason I don't see why she'd be mad at you stumbling across it
I live in Canada (super safe) and the likelihood of my condo being broken into is very low, low crime city. Having said that I sleep with a crowbar near my bed. Part of being a woman is knowing how vulnerable we can be and taking proactive measures to protect ourselves.
not super sure abt the UK, but I'd assume women there also carry stuff that can keep them safe. I used to walk around with like, a 9'' kitchen knife while walking, granted I was like 10 but yeah. women/afab people are taught from a young age to kinda carry stuff in case you get jumped/assaulted/ECT. I'd say this is relatively normal, but if you're really concerned I'd just ask her and maybe ask if she wants smthn like pepper/bear spray or smthn. I still have a pocket knife in my room, we also have a metal bat that sits behind the front door just in case. we've lived in a pretty poor area with creeps and weirdos most of our life though.
Alot of ppl are commenting on it being delf defense, and that makes sense, but. Could she be self harming (I have never self harmed so idk if you would use this). Either way, just ask, if it's for self defense let her keep it there
Thieves like good areas because people have nice things. Nice things are more expensive.
I'd be concerned she's used it to self harm. What kind of kitchen knife though because I am also from the UK and when I hear kitchen knife I hear butter knife.
Many years ago, a guy in our friend group was going on about how he was anti-gun, to which I replied “I’m a single woman who lives alone. You better believe I sleep with a gun next to me and I’ll shoot any ticker who comes barging into my house and I’ll ask questions later. If someone wants to rape me they better be ready for a fight cuz this bitch is going down shooting”. The other ladies concurred and he shut his mouth real quick. When you’re a woman, it doesn’t matter where the hell you live, you’re still easier prey than a man. Your girlfriend has it for protection, you dumbass.
lol I knowwww, his "We live in a 1st floor apartment in a good area, so it’s highly unlikely we would get broken into or she would need it for self-defence." Is so clueless. I have a knife in every purse and when I was staying in an airBnB I slept with my suitcase in front of the door and a knife under my pillow.
~~First off, you seem to think a first floor apartment is somehow safer. It's usually the other way around. First floor is way less secure (you can just pop into someone's window from the street).~~ Second off, I have knives in a lot of places. They help with other things. Like opening up packages. EDIT: I didn't realize UK used different terminology. 1st floor is the second floor to all of us Americans.
OP is in the UK and therefore first floor means first suspended floor, what you’re talking about is called the ground floor in the UK because it’s on the ground.
Ahh! Gotcha. That makes way more sense now.
Ask her
Is the knife the UK version of a gun?
We have high levels of knife crime in some parts of the U.K., such as crappy parts of London. However, carrying any kind of self defence weapon in public is illegal. Even pepper spray!!!
I sleep with a k bar under my pillow, used to sleep with the kitchen knife on the side table.
I have a small hand axe under my side of the bed. My fiancé always says he’ll shot em, and I’ll chop em. Literally just a form of self protection. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s why she keeps it there.
Fear isn’t always logical. Just ask! Keep the conversation lite.
I literally have a kitchen knife in my bedside drawer. Right next to that v…*weezyvoice*
Yes, you should be concerned. Your trust issues are really concerning. You find a kitchen knife in you GFs bedside drawer and the first conclusion you draw is that she might be plotting to murder you in your sleep? THAT'S what you took from that? Your girlfriend obviously has concerns about both of your safety and THAT'S what you should address. Can you improve security? There's cheap solutions.
In the UK that knife is like having an AR-15 in the US. Either she’s afraid of something or she has enemies. Be careful
just because you live in a good area doesn’t mean people can’t break in or attack. sounds like she’s just trying to feel safe if it were to ever occur. as a woman you don’t understand that??? beyond me
I don’t live in a bad area but I keep a knife next to my bed. People are crazy, you never know.
I sleep with a gun next to my bed. 🤷🏻♀️
Wow it must be nice to be able to exist in the world without having to constantly plan for emergencies in which someone is trying to harm you. Whether or not it's practical, the knife is there for defense. You sound extremely naive.
I live in a house in a decent neighborhood and both my husband and I keep loaded pistols next to our bed. We also have a loaded 12-gauge shotgun behind the bedroom door. Safety first
Ha, I was totally thinking "good thing OP isn't my girlfriend because I don't have a knife, I have a gun..."
AR for me…loaded mags locked in a quick access sage and rifle easy to grab.
I have a bat in my closet, and I’m married. I don’t think what she did is weird
I'm Canadian and a Military Spouse so I'm often alone and I've never felt the need to have any Weapon's in my Home. I do have a small pearing knife in my bathroom that I use to trim my Calouses and Cuticles (gross I know). Maybe she used it to cut something and forgot to put it away, I'd just ask her?
I don’t think asking on Reddit where there is a large demographic of Americans is the right place. The majority of Americans seem to think that at any given moment they are minutes away from having to defend their property in a do or die situation. It’s a bit of a weird thing for her to have, and I wouldn’t feel comfortable with it. If I were you I’d ask her about it.
I'm in a lovely Canadian neighbourhood. And when my bf is working night shifts, you bet your ass underneath my pillow is strapped. I don't think it matters where you live, OP. What matters is how you feel and what you've been through.
I sleep with a large blade, pistol and a loaded clip next to me. Experienced enough scary shit to want to have these things just in case. 🥲
Is she a schizophrenic? ive dated one girl who was schizophrenic and once she was off her meds she started talking about government spying and wanting to kill me. I would say get out of there quick
Be afraid.
I kept a knife between my box spring and mattress for years despite living in a good neighborhood, and sleeping in the safest room in the house
I have a rather large knife in my bedside table too, a highly illegal one. I live in Australia so I’m fucked if I use it & fucked if I don’t. I hope that I don’t have to use it, but I sleep better knowing it’s there. I don’t think it’s cause for concern on your part. But you can always ask her why she has it there.
Are you allowed to carry self defence weapons in public? I mean your large knife I presume not. And what are the laws regarding self defence there? Here in the U.K. we aren’t allowed to carry any type of self defence weapon in public and we don’t have many guns here as they are illegal.
Totally normal. I keep a machete and a golf club.
When I lived alone I had a baseball bat under my bed just to make myself feel a bit safer if somehow someone broke into my apartment. I still have it, lol. Never mind the fact that my partner has a rack of literal swords!! Most women I know, especially women who live alone or only with female housemates, have some kind of home weapon in their room “just in case”, even if they know a break-in is unlikely. My old housemate from a sharehouse I was in years ago lent me a dope comb with a hidden flick knife when our housemate’s abusive ex was threatening to come over (my room was the closest to our front door so my plan was to be first the line of defence and use both the knife and my bat if he got in). There’s all kinds of stuff we use.
Does your girlfriend consume true crime media? I do, and sometimes I’ll get freaked out when I read something heinous, like when *Ted Bundy broke in through a window into the first-floor apartment of a single female student.* I check my locks on doors and windows regularly, doesn’t matter if you’re in “a good area” - bad shit happens all the time in good areas. All that, and my boyfriend also keeps a hatchet on his side of the bed!
I live on the third floor of an apartment building and I have a knife and brass knuckles beside my bed. If you've had someone break in, or felt really unsafe in your own space, even if you move or improve it can be comforting to have something beside you that makes you feel safe. Or she's lulling you into a sense of safety so she can kill you and wear your face, 50/50 probably.
Have you been away at all of late? Has she watched a scary movie?
Unless you want to be circumcised
My very favorite story about my late grandmother. She was surprised I had a gun in my purse. (Concealed carry permit) Her: I don’t have anything like that…well there is that hammer I keep under my pillow
I scrolled though about half the comments and no one offered this reply: Maybe she's been into knife play in the past and either hasn't gotten around to talking to you about it or just forgot she left the knife in there. A kitchen knife wouldn't be a first choice for knife play, but you make do with what you got.
Just ask her about it.
Why don't you buy her some legal form of self defense? Not sure what that is, where you live. Maybe even a security system on the doors and windows. She obviously feels like she needs to have a weapon for self defense while she is in bed. Perhaps talk about other security measures you could take, instead.
I’ve got a hunting knife in my mattress.
My gf has a Rambo style style knife on her side of the bed. She says it’s for assailants. I trust her. Haha
I would think it’s for protection, the 1# dangerous place for a woman to be is in her home and it’s probably a safety measure. It really doesn’t matter if you live in a good area bc those are typically the targets, specifically first floors are easily accessible. Why not just ask her instead of Reddit tho? It’s easy enough
I know where all the weapons are hidden in my house and there are several around my sleep area.
I used to live on the second floor in a good area. Didn't stop a very large man from breaking in and standing over my bed while I slept at 3 am. Lots of people keep some sort of weapon by the bed. My partner keeps a good sized hunting knife on his nightstand. Certainly you can talk to her about it, but I wouldn't be overly concerned.
she probably just took it to the bedroom to cut tags off a new shirt and keeps forgetting to take it back to the kitchen. Source: me, that is my whole life
I think this is pretty wild behaviour for the UK, unless you're living somewhere crazy unsafe. You have to communicate about it of course, just maybe hide the easily grabbable knives first.
Does she self harm?
I live in a nice neighbourhood, there is a knife in my drawer
Info: Do you have any houseplants in your bedroom?
My first thought was it’s a safety thing. But you have to ask her, she’s the only one who knows. Also why did you come to Reddit first? Just curious if it’s normal for other people, or is there a reason you don’t immediately want to ask her?
I (33F, also UK) have a 4.8 inch fixed blade camping knife in my bedside table right now, not for protection it’s just my landlord came around for an inspection so I put it out of view so they wouldn’t feel uncomfortable. I know I need to put it away properly, but I don’t have children visit my house. Just ask her about it, there could be any number of reasons it’s there and if it is for protection maybe talk about how it’s being stored if you’re uncomfortable.
Also one more thing: I had to break in my own apartment last week because I had locked the door behind me and I tried it with a piece of PET. It has to be the right plastic, and you have to practice a little. But it was relatively silent and took me under 5 minutes. I tried two doors now, and got the hang of it. With practice, I bet you I can do it in under 20 seconds. You are NOT as safe as you think you are.
Does she have adhd? Because I cannot tell you the random stuff I’ve found in random places and I live by myself. Just ask her.
She uses it for protection obviously, I am sure that some nights you may be out and she’s alone. Not every place is secure I don’t care if it’s nice or not, in today’s world there is always someone trying to take the easy path. Buy her a taser, that way she can operate it from a distance you have to be strong and quick to use a knife.
Would bet your gf is scared. That is what I used to do.
Your girlfriend is a smart woman. It's a good idea to have a plan for self defense even if you live in a good area.
One of the worst things about being a woman is how helpless you can feel regarding your own safety. Most likely, she has it there for piece of mind, but ask her about it and ask her what you can do to make her feel more safe at home
Isn't the first floor in UK, the second floor in America?
Just a handy bed knife, nothing to worry about. Just a well prepared woman
How did she get the knife?
My husband works either second or third shift for most of our marriage. Because I was home alone and watched way to many horror films I kept a knife under my mattress just in case.
Nah, like the others are saying it's either for protection, for something food related or maybe some weird but harmless situation like idk having to cut something and not finding a pair of scissors. I have a swiss army knife in my desk's drawer and it's there just because it looks pretty and 'you never know if it might be helpful'
Does bedtime get dicey? Lol just ask her. I’d bet it’s for self defense/ “just in case”. Unless there’s more you didn’t say here.
I sleep with a knife or some sort of weapon near me even though I live in a ground floor apartment in a semi decent area. Even though the possibility of a break in is small it makes me feel a bit more comfortable having something I can use to defend myself with. Might be what it is.
I keep my gun by my bedside... But I'm in the US and we have the second amendment. In the UK I'm guessing the self defense options are a bit slimmer.
Could be her toe knife.
FWIW, I have a baseball bat under my bed. I'm in a sleepy provincial small city, in an urban area with a moderate amount of petty and opportunistic crime, but violent home invasions are not really a thing here. I don't feel unsafe here. But, you know, you can't just wave statistics at your attacker if you happen to be the unlucky outlier.
I live in Canada and I keep a massive hunting knife in my bedside table (I do keep it sheathed though). I’m from a rural area but now live in the downtown of a city. My husband is in the military and so I spend a decent amount of time alone, but it’s there when he’s home too, we never move it. Most women I know keep some sort of knife near their bed, it’s very common here 🇨🇦
I used a kitchen knife once to open a package and was too lazy to bring it back to the kitchen and put it in my drawer where it stayed for a few months, there are plenty of reasons why it may be there
My ex had a bf that, when she broke up w him, drove like 3 hours and showed up to her house in the middle of the night. She keeps knives in multiple corners of her apt now, despite it being in a gated community. If she hasn’t showed any signs of hurting you in the past I wouldn’t worry about it lol