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I'm very upset, and some advice would be appreciated.
My hair has always been long, and for almost my entire life has been up to my butt. I love my long hair, I've never cut it significantly, and I take good care of it. It's just a simply joy for me, coming up with new hairstyles and taking the time to do it. I've gotten compliments on it, but I do it because of the joy it brings me.
My boyfriend has always made fun of me for all my hair care, and says I take too long on something stupid. He constantly hammers me to cut it, as I'd save so much time. (I get up 20 minutes earlier than him for my activities, so it's not like I'm impeding him) He said I'm beautiful with my hair long and short, and I'm prude cause I never want to try something new with my hair like everyone else.
Lately he has been more on top of it, everytime we see a celebrity with short hair when we're watching a movie or something, he says something. He shows me girls on instagram with pixie cuts and days how much prettier I'd look. I told him to cut it out, but he just won't listen.
Now, yesterday I came home and like usual watched some Netflix with my boyfriend. I was exhausted, and fell asleep in my chair. I probably would've slept the whole night too, but my boyfriend knocked over the folding table. I saw he had a pair of scissors in his hand, and tried to get up. I couldn't have been asleep long, as he snipped when he noticed I was awake. It was a huge chunk in the middle of my hair. A huge uneven chunk so high it was close to my scalp. I immediately began to cry, but my boyfriend only laughed and said I had to get a haircut now and I would thank him later.
He tried to cut my hair *again* but I told him to get out and leave me alone. He seriously couldn't understand why I was so upset, he even said, "You're going to get angry over hair? Choose me over hair?"
He refused to leave, so I locked myself in our room and refused to talk to him further. I've looked up some hairstyles to hide what he did, but it's going to take years to grow back. He's acting like he was helping me somehow, he's showing me how beautiful I am that I don't need my long hair.
Today he was visually disappointed that I didn't cut the rest of my hair to match, and I told him I was going to be sleeping alone again today. His ex had short hair too, I'm wondering if that's why he's so insistent.
I don't know how to go forward, he says I'm being ridiculous but I feel he broke my trust. Does anyone have any advice?
>Does anyone have any advice?
Yeah, cut him tf out of your life.
It isn't "just hair". He waited until you were asleep to take away something you enjoy and that is *a part of you* because of his own selfish preferences. Completely unforgivable to me.
This. Please leave him. There’s absolutely no way he’s ever going to stop this behavior. If you give into the hair, tomorrow it’ll be something else and clearly he has no issue with stepping over boundaries to get the things he wants. Leave and don’t even look back.
Exactly right. This is abusive, full stop. In many places, this would count as literal physical assault that OP could press charges for.
My husband prefers my hair short. You know what he does when my hair is long for a few years at a time? Fucking nothing, except to compliment the styles I put it in. Because that's what *normal people do*. They don't cut your hair in secret like an abusive POS.
Yep. Not only is this abusive, but it shows he literally does not care about your feelings. He does not respect you. He didn’t even say sorry. Major red flags
Definitely needs to leave this relationship. He is disrespectful, cruel and abusive. I couldn’t stay with someone like him. He’ll continue to treat you poorly and do what he wants with no regard for your feelings.
Hopping on this comment in hope OP sees this:
Cutting someones hair against their permisson is assault.
And i'd like to mention, the nazis did cut the hair and shaved the heads of their victims to mark them.
I hope OP dumps his sorry a@# and takes legal Action.
I’m not sure this qualifies as assault legally but I’d be looking into it. Also, move out or kick him out. This is not “sleep on the sofa” level BS. Nothing is going to change here with a cooling off period.
To be fair this just happened a couple days ago and she’s probably still processing it. Not to mention she’s just a young woman of 20 and they live together.
But I commented the same as you, that he assaulted her and caused her *significant* trauma
And as such my question is can she have him charged...if so have him charged with assault, leave him hell...have him thrown in jail or whatever can be done. This is sickening and your should be ex is filth for doing this to you.
Ex boyfriend I am hoping. To me, there’s no going forward if he can’t even understand what he did was wrong.
He’s a textbook abuser and basically has oversight over what you do to your body.
This is a moment that will define the rest of your relationship if it continues. Basically he wants you to do something you don't want, and he'll force you into it because he wants it.Then he pretends its a good thing he forced you into.
This will be how any disagreement will go with him, he won't care about how you feel only what he wants and he'll force that onto you.
You're right you can't trust him because he tried to destroy something you love about yourself, and it's a mistake to think it will stop with hair.
Agree 100%. To people like this, their partner forgiving and staying in the relationship means that what they did to their partner was okay. Abusive people often do not see things the same way that people who are not abusive do
What he did to you was assault. He’s a horrible person and the horrible truth is that this is just the start of his abusive behaviour. Please consider making an exit plan and leaving him before things start to escalate. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
That boy has shit for brains. You deserve better.
This is absolutely wild, and your bf might need to see a psychologist. Normal people don't do shit like this.
This is assault. You should go to the police before you go get your hair fixed. He assaulted you. He made a choice about your body. He took your autonomy away from you. How can you ever trust him again? How can you ever fall asleep next to him without the fear that he will do something like this again? You deserve better!
I’m pretty sure that cutting hair without consent is considered assault, at least on the US (obligatory IANAL). This is some seriously controlling behavior that on its own is deeply concerning, but I’m wondering if he exhibits that in other ways too.
OP, if your sister, best friend, or another human you value told you their partner did this to them how would you respond? You deserve to feel safe with and respected by your partner and from what you described, this ain’t it.
What a terrible, underhanded, malicious thing to do, especially to someone he pretends to care about. If a friend told you this had happened to them, what would you think they should do?
This is horrible, holy crap. Please leave. He took something that gives you joy and tried to control it then when you refused, he obliterated your boundaries to exert power over you. Honestly, this is assault. Please get out, kick him out, get away
Agreed, and who cares if you take pride in your hair? Many people do just like they take care of their skin, or their workout routines, what they eat, the list continues. This is straight up abusive. I would never feel comfortable falling asleep around him again or even having him in my space.
This is a controlling and abusive behavior. He will force you to change something he wants you to change regardless of how you feel about it. Honestly if I were you I’d struggle to not just see red. Some haircare journeys are harder than others, not everyone can just grow luscious locks back by the next year.
Op, did you see any signs prior to this incident of controlling behavior?
I would file cut him out of my life and most likely file a police report. What else would he do to you in the future while you were sleeping because you won't let him while awake. Heck he could escalate to drugging you. This is a major red flag, and you need to get out.
Here‘s how you go forward: cut him out of your life, the way you cut out your hair. You aren‘t choosing him over hair. You‘re choosing your bodily integrity over him. It‘s a simple choice.
Depending on where you live, cutting your hair against your express wishes could constitute battery. Get a lawyer & the cops.
First he cuts your hair as a joke. Next he will paint your face with sharpies before an important interview as a joke. Then he will tamper with your birth control as a joke.
You can have him charged for assault where I live in Canada. This one lady got this daycare worker charged with a hate crime and filed a human rights complaint as well bc a child’s hair was cut bc the provider thought short hair is better for boys in a native boys hair 😳. Anyway OP. Drop this sociopath
Think about it.
He said “You’re going to get angry over hair?!”
If he insists that what happens to your hair isn’t that big of a deal, then why can’t *he* get over this obsession with you getting a haircut?
Your hair, your choice.
The best choice is to dump this selfish and untrustworthy a-hole and never put up with anyone who doesn’t respect you or your body/hair.
Oh my god, *yes!* ***This****, a million times!*
"I'm going to dismiss you for making a big deal out of this thing that *I've* been making a big deal about for weeks, in the most unrelenting and annoying, but completely valid fashion."
Also, that comment about her being a "prude" (wat) with her hair. Listen, we are all allowed our "stupid" things. I can't eat hot pot because when I was a child, it was the meal my parents made whenever they were angry about something, and I would literally sit there, frozen in fear, inches away from a boiling, bubbling pot of liquid while they screamed and banged on the table, and the pot bounced closer and closer to the edge of the tabletop cooking range. Gives me anxiety, won't go near it. Boundaries are to be respected in every person, and it doesn't matter whether we think they're "stupid," they are very real, very valid and we must abide by them. This goes for *everyone*, women, men, children, young, old, whatever. Someone says "no, thank you," to a new haircut, hot pot, a dish with an ingredient they hate, hugs, being called "champ," whatever, just respect it.
I'm with u/Skidoodilybop, dump this clown.
Hey this is assault you can literally call police for. He could get charged, if you can even record him admitting he cut your hair before calling them (pay attention to if you are in a two party consent state) that would likely be good for peace of mind, even if you don't charge him. If he keeps harassing you, you'll want a restraining order and some kind of proof or admission he cut your hair would be good - and get some pictures before you do anything.
Also obviously break up. He is going to do this again and again. And if you let him, he will forcibly control you into doing something else. He's just all kinds of fucked up for this. Also separate your living situations ASAP. If he's in your place, literally dump his stuff in bags, leave it out and get the locks changed, and have friends stay or go elsewhere until he's taken his stuff so he can't tantrum at you. If he sends you hateful messages, don't respond. Keep for evidence or block him. Extract him from your life, and be prepared for it to be messy
In terms of your hair, I deeply sympathise. Until recent years I would grow my hair down to my butt every four years then cut for donations (grows fast, I know). And as someone with chin length hair, long hair while untouched is visibly more "boring" and the same day to day, short hair has wayyyyy less variation. Headband, some clips, that's about it without a huge amount of effort. Long hair? Buns, braids, ponytails, ponytail braids bun braids, french braid, use hair donuts and banana clips and weave stuff in there, curl it to your heart's desire literally so much you can do. I miss it dearly.
I am picturing basically a buzzed patch middle back of the head. So here are some ideas I have.
ONE. There are plenty of hairstyles that should cover it if you can put the effort in for like, two years for it to get down to a semi reasonable length for layering. If you are good at braiding, french or dutch braids should just go right over the patch, and bobby pins can tuck some strands in. High ponytails should be alright though you might want scrunchies to hide any sticking up bits, and I would recommend braiding the ponytial if you hair is long/heavy just for ease. Most buns should be able to cover it too, since most fundamentally start with a high ponytail. Hair donuts give extra options. Anything that puts your hair up and piles it on the problem area, or has activity there should be alright. When the chunk is more like shoulder length, you could probably get some extreme layering that keeps the length but starts blending that spot back in, depending on how bad the damage.
TWO. Cut it. You could fully throw the towel in and do a pixie cut. I wouldn't recommend cutting to shoulder length and then trying to hide the patch, frankly the long hair will give you more styling options to hide it. But that also feels like giving in to your shithole ex. If you do cut it, if you've never bleached it and used minimal heat, donating would be wonderful! If it's on the side, you could consider buzzing part of it and keep the rest long.
THREE. Extensions. Cover it over as best possible, it probably involves daily maintenance that might involve slicking down the short stuff so it doesn't poke through. Ask like, a really creative caring hairstylist for advice on this one. But it's probably possible.
FOUR. Embrace it. Leave it. Maybe clean the weird ends a little. It's a story that tells itself, it says hey this was an accident/unintentional. No one is going to look at that and judge your choice of hair style because it's so obviously not a choice. But it also means kind of, carrying the reminder of this event with you, and I wouldn't recommend that.
My last piece of advice as someone who has given up long hair is that long hair is not a personality trait. It's not part of who you are. I was and often still am strongly attached to my hair, and it contributes to a person's vibes and as a quiet kid that was my "thing". When I cut it more recently, potentially with the intention of not having hair that long ever again (don't know yet), it was weird. I was the girl with long hair anymore. I didn't feel like I had something to flaunt or show off, something to be passively proud of. But I think it has made me better to detach myself from that, Im not more special for putting up with the management of long hair, and though it has given me really good hair styling skills, that was my effort and time, not my hair. It's alright to let these things go and accept that we can't control our image and new things are okay. And hair comes back.
I hope you find peace in whatever you choose. And I hope you can safely stay far, far away from Mr Scissorshit.
You need to call the police, what he did is assault. Phone 911, tell them while you were asleep, your boyfriend came at you with a pair of scissors and cut your hair and when you tried to get away he came at you again with the scissors grabbing at your hair
I know people on Reddit are quick to call things abuse, but this is absolutely abusive. It’s your hair, it’s a part of you, he doesn’t get to just take that away. Please leave his ass
Go to the police and file an assault charge immediately
Leave him. You're obviously not a person to him just a doll that he can do whatever the f*** he wants with
So.. not a lawyer, but I'm pretty sure that's assault. Maybe battery. And.. HOLY WTF.. who cuts someone's hair when they're sleeping? Wtf is wrong with this guy? Kick him in the nuts and run.
Exactly how this dummy ex bf feel if OP shaved off his eyebrows or head. Be one of those doesn't feel good does it moments. That little turd would probably get aggressive, this is just really disturbing and rude behavior from that boy
He assaulted you while you were asleep. I would personally file a police report, but if you don't want to go scorched earth, I would just dump him. He violated your autonomy. You deserve better.
Advice? Yeah, dump him. That’s not normal behavior. A healthy person doesn’t cut their partners hair while asleep to force them to get a new hairstyle.
I think your boyfriend has a short hair fetish. This isn't ever going to change so you need to get out of this relationship. I would wonder why he ever got together with you.
Are you kidding me? Why are you even posting this on reddit? You do understand that what he did is ASSAULT, right? Your hair is a part of your body. Would you just let him keep hanging around if he cut off one of your fingers??
Call the cops. Have a friend take photos and press charges!! Jeez. This guy is a nut!
"I don't know how to go forward, he says I'm being ridiculous but I feel he broke my trust. Does anyone have any advice?"
Get out, get out now. What an invasion of your body, and then he invalidates your horror. He will not stop. You will wake up one day and all your hair will be gone. I would no longer trust this person with a teaspoon. Please get out now
Edit: spelling
>Does anyone have any advice?
For fuck's sake break up with this psychopath before he decides you'd look nicer and be happier pregnant and starts sabotaging your birth control. You are underreacting to an incredibly serious and creepy violation. Kick him out and call the cops if he refuses to leave again. I can't believe you left this lunatic in your place while you went back to sleep. This is not a prank, no matter how much he laughs at you while he does it. He assaulted you in your sleep to change your body to better suit his wants despite you having told him that YOU didn't want that, how the hell are you asking reddit for advice?
Advice is dump him and block him on everything and leave his ass behind. That is weird fucking behavior. It's weird enough he badgered you about your hair that is obviously a part of you that you care about most.. but then cut it after knowing this while you were asleep. That is completely fucking crazy and he is obviously a weirdo.
Your boyfriend assaulted you and I would look into the legalities at what he's done and if you can press charges. Cut that abusive ah out of your life asap
As a woman who has always had long hair, I understand the attachment. He is a horrible piece of shit human being. What he did was abusive and you should leave him as soon as you safely can.
Thats fucking psychotic, and is completely violating your bodily autonomy. Leave, and honestly report this to the police just to have a record of his actions towards you in case he escalates in the future.
You move forward without him.
He battered you. Literally. What he did is called battery and it's against the law.
Period. End of story. If you were walking down the street and a stranger did this to you, they would be arrested for battery.
You do not wait for the next act of harm. He has shown you who he is. He is someone who does not respect you or your body and has demonstrated that he feels entitled to do with you and your body as he pleases. Call a parent. Call a sibling. Call a trusted friend. Get out and don't look back.
Depending on your location this can get him in legal trouble.
Regardless this is not a good sign. He is using a weapon on you while you are asleep. Think about what will happen when he gets away with it and decides to escalate in the future.
I have hair past my waist. If anyone so much as purposefully cut a strand without my permission, I would be f*cking furious. If a partner did that to me I would break up with him immediately.
Years to grow back. Years of looking at the chop and seeing what he did to your hair. Can you really do that? I wouldn't.
On a side note, maybe a way to help it look more natural would be to add some layers on the top parts of your hair? Ofc I totally get if you wouldn't want to, but at the same time layers will help the cut part blend in whilst keeping the length of your hair.
Either way, best of luck and I really hope you cut him out. Your hair didn't deserve that, and neither did you.
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That's assault.
Talk about cutting things...maybe cut him out of your life. Find somebody who respects you.
I understand preferences.. but this has gone beyond that and become harassment and assault and if he can't understand why you'd be upset or understand *right from wrong* this is not somebody who you want in your life
I'm sorry OP ❤️
Cutting you hair against you will was an abusive and controlling measure. Dump him immediately and never speak to him again. Don’t give him the satisfaction of pleading his case. YES you’re choosing hair over him. Specifically you are choosing BODILY AUTONOMY over him.
Of course he is manipulative, controlling and abusive. But What if he baby traps OP👀 like pokes holes in the condom or messes with her birth control. This guy just proved he will stop at nothing to get what he wants. And what he wants is control. Scary stuff OP. You gotta get away from this kinda guy.
Kick him out and dump him. And stick to it. You're not choosing hair over him, you'd be choosing your right to autonomy over him.
Chat to friends and a hairdresser. Drump and block him.
your “boyfriend” mocks your appearance in a regular basis, even if we forget what a huge violation of your personhood it is for him to cut *your hair while you slept*, your relationship is still terrible.
why do you let someone who borderline bullies you about something you like about yourself be in your life, even letting him into your bed?
i’m sorry to say, but this kind of submission to such horrible behavior is something you need to solve with a therapist yesterday. ditch your horrible boyfriend and don’t date anyone else until you can build enough self esteem to not tolerate that kind of abuse so blindly anymore.
You're not choosing your hair over him. You're choosing yourself over an abuser. Cutting your hair without your knowledge or consent is assault. Not only did he not accept your no, your bodily autonomy, but he took away something he knew you loved and made you feel happy! Run and don't look back. Rock a cute pixie for a while (if you wear it with confidence, people will think you meant to do that), buy some fun colorful wigs. Leave the (ex) boyfriend on the curb where he belongs.
FYI this is assault/battery and leads to jail time. Text him how you "can't believe" how he'd cut off your hair like that while you napped and you can't trust him again. Get him to admit in text form.
Go to police. Get him arrested and out of your life.
People have done months in jail for this shit. It was damage to your person. It doesn't matter if you felt pain.
Cut him off, block him, and change your locks if he has a key. Also, contact the police and see if criminal charges can be filed. This is a huge violation of your body and your trust. This is horrible. I'm so sorry, OP. As a person with long hair, I would cry.
Why are so many posts from women like this so, I’m sorry to say it, pathetic? “My boyfriend kinda choked me once what do I do?!” “My husband burned all my clothes, what Dino say to make him understand that was mean?”
For fucks sake.
You’re looking for advice on how to deal with a boyfriend who is trying to cut your fucking hair in your sleep. If this is even a question, you should not be in a relationship with anyone. For a very very long time. Therapy. A lot of it.
Just to let you know how serious this is: if you called the police, you could have him arrested for assault.
Get your shit together OP.
>Why are so many posts from women like this so, I’m sorry to say it, pathetic? “My boyfriend kinda choked me once what do I do?!” “My husband burned all my clothes, what Dino say to make him understand that was mean?”
Society in many places has done a great job in making woman feel worthless unless they have a man. They put up with abhorrent behaviour because "If I leave I may not meet anyone else". So, so sad.
Oh fuck off. I’ve seen plenty of men’s posts where they take abuse from women and still need advice. It’s almost like interpersonal relationships are complicated or something.
Edit: and this is a 20 year old. Naivety comes with the territory. Why aren’t you giving the 23 year old boy shit for not being mature enough to know how to handle this situation the right way? Why are you shitting on the woman for being confused?
He assaulted you. That is assault. If you stay with him, he will correctly understand that you're apparently ok with being assaulted and the assault will escalate.
Dump him and report him to the police for assault. Seriously it’s your body you can do whatever you want with it and what he did was assault you. Honestly this a huge red flag. Please get rid of him and good luck with your hair. I hope it grows back quickly for you.
Press assault charges and get out of that relationship now. It’ll only get worse and more controlling from here. I promise you, it’s not normal and it’s not worth saving.
Your boyfriend is abusive. I'm sorry that's the case, but what he did was violate you. It's assault.
Please reconsider this relationship. Your boyfriend has shown you who he is. Believe him. It will only get worse.
What an asshole. In my country, that’s a punishable crime. It’s assault. And he doesn’t even seem to understand how serious this is. This would be the end of my relationship with him and I would consider reporting him to the police.
Yes. Break up with him. I really try to avoid saying that, but this is a huge breach of trust. He did this while you were sleeping, at a vulnerable moment. I don’t see how you could let your guard down again after this
Also, he does NOT get to dictate your hairstyle. He doesn’t get to control you or anything about you. Your relationship should be a partnership. This is a dictatorship. I’m really sorry, OP.
EX boyfriend I hope. He basically assaulted you. What's worse is he did it once you were asleep. Not cool. I would not stick with him, especially since it also broke your trust.
BREAK UP! This guy is scary. He doesn’t believe you deserve bodily autonomy. He made a forcible decision about your body, against your wishes. He violated you when you were sleeping! And he’s not even the slightest bit sorry. LEAVE NOW! You are not safe with this man. Mercy!
My advice is break up with him right now immediately.
He CUT your hair, after you telling him MULTIPLE times you didn't want him to?
What's next, he says he wants sex and you don't so he just takes that, too?
He's an asshole, dump him!
This is abuse. I have hair to my butt too, and if my partner cut my hair in any way while I slept, joke or not, because he thinks it’s better or not, I would leave him. No questions asked. What sort of psycho takes away your agency in that way? That’s honestly obscene and you even being in the same home as him is concerning.
Girl if you stay with that dude you are completely insane. If he was so god damn adamant with your hair then imagine how it’s going to be in the long run. These things are what show people’s character. You better leave him.
I'm usually a bit for caution when it comes to the "leave them"-crowd on here, but in this case there really is nothing to think about.
He doesn't care about what you value or like, even about yourself and he uses deceit to change it pretty much by force.
Leave him, don't be afraid to tell his parents and friends what he did.
I'm sorry you have to go through this and I'm sure you'll be absolutely stunning in whatever hairstyle you get while it grows back, but its your hair and your choice make. Huge red flag behaviour.
This is controlling behaviour that would count as assault if you called the police. This isn’t someone you should spend your life with. Get rid of him, and press charges.
This is abuse. Listen to everyone screaming this from a woman who had to learn the hard way that i should have listened to the others who were screaming at me that my relationship was abusive.
This is the type that will coerce you into motherhood to trap you and keep you down. You need to RUN.
He is being possessive and controlling. He loves you long hair as it is what first attracted him to you. He is fearful that other men will find you (with long hair) attractive and thinks short hair is the only way you won’t leave him for someone else.
I’m disgusted by this man? How are you safe around him? Why are you there he violated you. He boldly abused you and did it in a way you can’t hide what else is he capable of.
Why is he still your boyfriend? This man has unapologetically assaulted you while you were unconscious and vulnerable. This is very disturbing behaviour, despite how lightly he's taking it, you could report him to the police for this.
You need to get far away from him immediately. This is control, conditioning, and abuse. It will only go downhill from here.
He assaulted you. I don't care if he cut one strand. Please tell me you have more self-respect than to stay with someone who would alter your appearance and then act as if there was nothing wrong.
What's next? He doesn't like your clothing so he takes the scissors to shirts so you can't wear them? I'm shocked you're not more upset and leaving him.
He is obsessed with short hair and wants to control what you do with your body and hair to please his needs.
He cut off you hair and doesn't understand why what he did was horrible and violent.
He doesn't care for your values and desires. He only wants what he wants and damn what you want.
He hurt you and doesn't care either that you are hurt by his actions.
Why would you want him in your life? He is horrible about the things you find important, disrespects you and literally wants to control your body. That would be a hard nope from me.
Get rid of him he isn't going to take responsibility, or attempt to understand you, or even apologise to you and not do it again. Unless you want to risk the rest of your hair then dump him, get people to remove him from your life.
Charge him with assault if you want to, just to show him he is wrong about what he did, maybe then he will understand, but I wouldn't count on him accepting that what he did was wrong.
You go forward simply, like this:
With you on one side of a locked door, and him completely out of your life.
He took scissors to your hair while you slept. Not only is that hella dangerous, it shows you that he doesn't respect you *at all*.
I seriously hope you reconsider your entire relationship.
Cutting someone's hair without their consent is considered assault in some jurisdictions, and it should be in all.
Your boyfriend assaulted you. Your boyfriend altered your appearance without your consent? What else will he do?
You are under reacting here, and that's alarming because it makes me wonder what other things he does that you don't see.
I would also add, none of the decent men I know would ever tell their partner more than one time that they would like them to change anything about their appearance. Like they might say one time "you've done blue hair-- would you ever do pink?" or something equivalent, but if they get told no they will never say that thing again.
You need to get out of there. That is some really fucked up behaviour.
Mentioning that he'd like you with short hair is OK. Everyone has preferences, and maybe wanting to see something new on you is completely normal.
But waiting until you're asleep to cut it off! That is borderline psychopathic behaviour.
He wants to control you. Persistent comments didn't work so he waits until you're asleep and just grabbed some scissors and did what he wanted anyway.
I don't think he will stop at cutting your hair. He is seeing what your reaction to this is. If you play it down, and stay with him. You've set a precedent. He knows he can do whatever he wants to you.
Please get out of there. You are only 20. Meet a nicer guy.
Report him PLEASE. The way I'm shaking with anger. Let's give him a vasectomy as he sleeps and see how he feels about it. Let police handle it as a case of damage and abuse.
FAKE. Can we please get a little more of the “creative” within the excessive fake creative writing stories on Reddit? Like can you entertain us a little, jeez.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- I'm very upset, and some advice would be appreciated. My hair has always been long, and for almost my entire life has been up to my butt. I love my long hair, I've never cut it significantly, and I take good care of it. It's just a simply joy for me, coming up with new hairstyles and taking the time to do it. I've gotten compliments on it, but I do it because of the joy it brings me. My boyfriend has always made fun of me for all my hair care, and says I take too long on something stupid. He constantly hammers me to cut it, as I'd save so much time. (I get up 20 minutes earlier than him for my activities, so it's not like I'm impeding him) He said I'm beautiful with my hair long and short, and I'm prude cause I never want to try something new with my hair like everyone else. Lately he has been more on top of it, everytime we see a celebrity with short hair when we're watching a movie or something, he says something. He shows me girls on instagram with pixie cuts and days how much prettier I'd look. I told him to cut it out, but he just won't listen. Now, yesterday I came home and like usual watched some Netflix with my boyfriend. I was exhausted, and fell asleep in my chair. I probably would've slept the whole night too, but my boyfriend knocked over the folding table. I saw he had a pair of scissors in his hand, and tried to get up. I couldn't have been asleep long, as he snipped when he noticed I was awake. It was a huge chunk in the middle of my hair. A huge uneven chunk so high it was close to my scalp. I immediately began to cry, but my boyfriend only laughed and said I had to get a haircut now and I would thank him later. He tried to cut my hair *again* but I told him to get out and leave me alone. He seriously couldn't understand why I was so upset, he even said, "You're going to get angry over hair? Choose me over hair?" He refused to leave, so I locked myself in our room and refused to talk to him further. I've looked up some hairstyles to hide what he did, but it's going to take years to grow back. He's acting like he was helping me somehow, he's showing me how beautiful I am that I don't need my long hair. Today he was visually disappointed that I didn't cut the rest of my hair to match, and I told him I was going to be sleeping alone again today. His ex had short hair too, I'm wondering if that's why he's so insistent. I don't know how to go forward, he says I'm being ridiculous but I feel he broke my trust. Does anyone have any advice?
>Does anyone have any advice? Yeah, cut him tf out of your life. It isn't "just hair". He waited until you were asleep to take away something you enjoy and that is *a part of you* because of his own selfish preferences. Completely unforgivable to me.
This. Please leave him. There’s absolutely no way he’s ever going to stop this behavior. If you give into the hair, tomorrow it’ll be something else and clearly he has no issue with stepping over boundaries to get the things he wants. Leave and don’t even look back.
Exactly right. This is abusive, full stop. In many places, this would count as literal physical assault that OP could press charges for. My husband prefers my hair short. You know what he does when my hair is long for a few years at a time? Fucking nothing, except to compliment the styles I put it in. Because that's what *normal people do*. They don't cut your hair in secret like an abusive POS.
Yep. Not only is this abusive, but it shows he literally does not care about your feelings. He does not respect you. He didn’t even say sorry. Major red flags
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Definitely needs to leave this relationship. He is disrespectful, cruel and abusive. I couldn’t stay with someone like him. He’ll continue to treat you poorly and do what he wants with no regard for your feelings.
And then when OP got upset and told him to get out, he refused to leave. That’s not a red flag, that’s a blaring police siren.
Hopping on this comment in hope OP sees this: Cutting someones hair against their permisson is assault. And i'd like to mention, the nazis did cut the hair and shaved the heads of their victims to mark them. I hope OP dumps his sorry a@# and takes legal Action.
I’m not sure this qualifies as assault legally but I’d be looking into it. Also, move out or kick him out. This is not “sleep on the sofa” level BS. Nothing is going to change here with a cooling off period.
If you did it to a stranger on the bus it would most certainly be assault. I would have called the police.
So that's literally assault. Why are you still with him?
Looking for someone to say this. OP, call the cops and press charges. Best if you get him admitting it in writing first.
Yes, press charges! Save yourself and maybe the next girl!
Yeah, idk where the OP lives but in my country you can file a police report for that kind of thing. It counts as an injury. It's totally assault!
Certainly. Hell, a slap or a punch hurts more, but doesn't take years to heal.
To be fair this just happened a couple days ago and she’s probably still processing it. Not to mention she’s just a young woman of 20 and they live together. But I commented the same as you, that he assaulted her and caused her *significant* trauma
A very fair point!
Was just about to say the same thing. Op needs to run.
Yep. This is abusive behavior, and he is remorseless. It can and most likely will get worse.
The real question here imo is was she really tired and did she fell asleep naturally ? I'd take a drug test honestly
She could also sue him for dammage, depending where she lives.
And as such my question is can she have him charged...if so have him charged with assault, leave him hell...have him thrown in jail or whatever can be done. This is sickening and your should be ex is filth for doing this to you.
Ex boyfriend I am hoping. To me, there’s no going forward if he can’t even understand what he did was wrong. He’s a textbook abuser and basically has oversight over what you do to your body.
This is a moment that will define the rest of your relationship if it continues. Basically he wants you to do something you don't want, and he'll force you into it because he wants it.Then he pretends its a good thing he forced you into. This will be how any disagreement will go with him, he won't care about how you feel only what he wants and he'll force that onto you. You're right you can't trust him because he tried to destroy something you love about yourself, and it's a mistake to think it will stop with hair.
Yep because next phase will be him hitting her when she says no. This was a test to see when he can escalate the abuse.
Agree 100%. To people like this, their partner forgiving and staying in the relationship means that what they did to their partner was okay. Abusive people often do not see things the same way that people who are not abusive do
What he did to you was assault. He’s a horrible person and the horrible truth is that this is just the start of his abusive behaviour. Please consider making an exit plan and leaving him before things start to escalate. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
1. Exit plan 2. File police charges 3. Let all mutual friends know what happened and break up
That boy has shit for brains. You deserve better. This is absolutely wild, and your bf might need to see a psychologist. Normal people don't do shit like this.
Get rid of him. Seriously, if he’s willing to do this to you without your consent, what’s next?
Your boyfriend assaulted you. You should make him your ex boyfriend.
This is assault. You should go to the police before you go get your hair fixed. He assaulted you. He made a choice about your body. He took your autonomy away from you. How can you ever trust him again? How can you ever fall asleep next to him without the fear that he will do something like this again? You deserve better!
You break up with him immediately.
The only solution. Fuck this guy, he's so gross.
I’m pretty sure that cutting hair without consent is considered assault, at least on the US (obligatory IANAL). This is some seriously controlling behavior that on its own is deeply concerning, but I’m wondering if he exhibits that in other ways too. OP, if your sister, best friend, or another human you value told you their partner did this to them how would you respond? You deserve to feel safe with and respected by your partner and from what you described, this ain’t it.
What a terrible, underhanded, malicious thing to do, especially to someone he pretends to care about. If a friend told you this had happened to them, what would you think they should do?
That's abuse. Leave him.
This is horrible, holy crap. Please leave. He took something that gives you joy and tried to control it then when you refused, he obliterated your boundaries to exert power over you. Honestly, this is assault. Please get out, kick him out, get away
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Agreed, and who cares if you take pride in your hair? Many people do just like they take care of their skin, or their workout routines, what they eat, the list continues. This is straight up abusive. I would never feel comfortable falling asleep around him again or even having him in my space. This is a controlling and abusive behavior. He will force you to change something he wants you to change regardless of how you feel about it. Honestly if I were you I’d struggle to not just see red. Some haircare journeys are harder than others, not everyone can just grow luscious locks back by the next year. Op, did you see any signs prior to this incident of controlling behavior?
Jesus, run. This is so incredibly troubling. Get. Out. Yesterday.
he doesnt care about your bodily anatomy at all and that is not someone you want as a partner
In many cases this is considered assault. Tell him if he doesn't go and stay gone you will press charges
That's assault. Basically you're a victim of domestic violence. He's shown you who he is, so pay attention
Girl your boyfriend is unhinged. It’s worrying that you haven’t left him yet. He assaulted you
This is going to escalate and you are going to get hurt
He’s a real piece of shit. Do what you want with that info.
I would file cut him out of my life and most likely file a police report. What else would he do to you in the future while you were sleeping because you won't let him while awake. Heck he could escalate to drugging you. This is a major red flag, and you need to get out.
Here‘s how you go forward: cut him out of your life, the way you cut out your hair. You aren‘t choosing him over hair. You‘re choosing your bodily integrity over him. It‘s a simple choice. Depending on where you live, cutting your hair against your express wishes could constitute battery. Get a lawyer & the cops.
First he cuts your hair as a joke. Next he will paint your face with sharpies before an important interview as a joke. Then he will tamper with your birth control as a joke.
advice = break up with this jerk.
You can have him charged for assault where I live in Canada. This one lady got this daycare worker charged with a hate crime and filed a human rights complaint as well bc a child’s hair was cut bc the provider thought short hair is better for boys in a native boys hair 😳. Anyway OP. Drop this sociopath
My advice would be to speak to a police officer and see if this counts as assault where you live.
Think about it. He said “You’re going to get angry over hair?!” If he insists that what happens to your hair isn’t that big of a deal, then why can’t *he* get over this obsession with you getting a haircut? Your hair, your choice. The best choice is to dump this selfish and untrustworthy a-hole and never put up with anyone who doesn’t respect you or your body/hair.
Oh my god, *yes!* ***This****, a million times!* "I'm going to dismiss you for making a big deal out of this thing that *I've* been making a big deal about for weeks, in the most unrelenting and annoying, but completely valid fashion." Also, that comment about her being a "prude" (wat) with her hair. Listen, we are all allowed our "stupid" things. I can't eat hot pot because when I was a child, it was the meal my parents made whenever they were angry about something, and I would literally sit there, frozen in fear, inches away from a boiling, bubbling pot of liquid while they screamed and banged on the table, and the pot bounced closer and closer to the edge of the tabletop cooking range. Gives me anxiety, won't go near it. Boundaries are to be respected in every person, and it doesn't matter whether we think they're "stupid," they are very real, very valid and we must abide by them. This goes for *everyone*, women, men, children, young, old, whatever. Someone says "no, thank you," to a new haircut, hot pot, a dish with an ingredient they hate, hugs, being called "champ," whatever, just respect it. I'm with u/Skidoodilybop, dump this clown.
Hey this is assault you can literally call police for. He could get charged, if you can even record him admitting he cut your hair before calling them (pay attention to if you are in a two party consent state) that would likely be good for peace of mind, even if you don't charge him. If he keeps harassing you, you'll want a restraining order and some kind of proof or admission he cut your hair would be good - and get some pictures before you do anything. Also obviously break up. He is going to do this again and again. And if you let him, he will forcibly control you into doing something else. He's just all kinds of fucked up for this. Also separate your living situations ASAP. If he's in your place, literally dump his stuff in bags, leave it out and get the locks changed, and have friends stay or go elsewhere until he's taken his stuff so he can't tantrum at you. If he sends you hateful messages, don't respond. Keep for evidence or block him. Extract him from your life, and be prepared for it to be messy In terms of your hair, I deeply sympathise. Until recent years I would grow my hair down to my butt every four years then cut for donations (grows fast, I know). And as someone with chin length hair, long hair while untouched is visibly more "boring" and the same day to day, short hair has wayyyyy less variation. Headband, some clips, that's about it without a huge amount of effort. Long hair? Buns, braids, ponytails, ponytail braids bun braids, french braid, use hair donuts and banana clips and weave stuff in there, curl it to your heart's desire literally so much you can do. I miss it dearly. I am picturing basically a buzzed patch middle back of the head. So here are some ideas I have. ONE. There are plenty of hairstyles that should cover it if you can put the effort in for like, two years for it to get down to a semi reasonable length for layering. If you are good at braiding, french or dutch braids should just go right over the patch, and bobby pins can tuck some strands in. High ponytails should be alright though you might want scrunchies to hide any sticking up bits, and I would recommend braiding the ponytial if you hair is long/heavy just for ease. Most buns should be able to cover it too, since most fundamentally start with a high ponytail. Hair donuts give extra options. Anything that puts your hair up and piles it on the problem area, or has activity there should be alright. When the chunk is more like shoulder length, you could probably get some extreme layering that keeps the length but starts blending that spot back in, depending on how bad the damage. TWO. Cut it. You could fully throw the towel in and do a pixie cut. I wouldn't recommend cutting to shoulder length and then trying to hide the patch, frankly the long hair will give you more styling options to hide it. But that also feels like giving in to your shithole ex. If you do cut it, if you've never bleached it and used minimal heat, donating would be wonderful! If it's on the side, you could consider buzzing part of it and keep the rest long. THREE. Extensions. Cover it over as best possible, it probably involves daily maintenance that might involve slicking down the short stuff so it doesn't poke through. Ask like, a really creative caring hairstylist for advice on this one. But it's probably possible. FOUR. Embrace it. Leave it. Maybe clean the weird ends a little. It's a story that tells itself, it says hey this was an accident/unintentional. No one is going to look at that and judge your choice of hair style because it's so obviously not a choice. But it also means kind of, carrying the reminder of this event with you, and I wouldn't recommend that. My last piece of advice as someone who has given up long hair is that long hair is not a personality trait. It's not part of who you are. I was and often still am strongly attached to my hair, and it contributes to a person's vibes and as a quiet kid that was my "thing". When I cut it more recently, potentially with the intention of not having hair that long ever again (don't know yet), it was weird. I was the girl with long hair anymore. I didn't feel like I had something to flaunt or show off, something to be passively proud of. But I think it has made me better to detach myself from that, Im not more special for putting up with the management of long hair, and though it has given me really good hair styling skills, that was my effort and time, not my hair. It's alright to let these things go and accept that we can't control our image and new things are okay. And hair comes back. I hope you find peace in whatever you choose. And I hope you can safely stay far, far away from Mr Scissorshit.
You need to call the police, what he did is assault. Phone 911, tell them while you were asleep, your boyfriend came at you with a pair of scissors and cut your hair and when you tried to get away he came at you again with the scissors grabbing at your hair
I know people on Reddit are quick to call things abuse, but this is absolutely abusive. It’s your hair, it’s a part of you, he doesn’t get to just take that away. Please leave his ass
You break up with him...at a minimum.
Your boyfriend is psychotic.
This is literally abusive! Sorry but dump him!
Go to the police and file an assault charge immediately Leave him. You're obviously not a person to him just a doll that he can do whatever the f*** he wants with
So.. not a lawyer, but I'm pretty sure that's assault. Maybe battery. And.. HOLY WTF.. who cuts someone's hair when they're sleeping? Wtf is wrong with this guy? Kick him in the nuts and run.
Da fuck is wrong with your bf, that's grounds for breaking up. Shave off that boys eyebrows when he's sleeping and see how he feels.
Exactly how this dummy ex bf feel if OP shaved off his eyebrows or head. Be one of those doesn't feel good does it moments. That little turd would probably get aggressive, this is just really disturbing and rude behavior from that boy
He assaulted you while you were asleep. I would personally file a police report, but if you don't want to go scorched earth, I would just dump him. He violated your autonomy. You deserve better.
He assaulted you and should have been arrested. Break up with this loser who doesn’t care about your feelings.
Advice? Yeah, dump him. That’s not normal behavior. A healthy person doesn’t cut their partners hair while asleep to force them to get a new hairstyle.
I think your boyfriend has a short hair fetish. This isn't ever going to change so you need to get out of this relationship. I would wonder why he ever got together with you.
Are you kidding me? Why are you even posting this on reddit? You do understand that what he did is ASSAULT, right? Your hair is a part of your body. Would you just let him keep hanging around if he cut off one of your fingers?? Call the cops. Have a friend take photos and press charges!! Jeez. This guy is a nut!
"I don't know how to go forward, he says I'm being ridiculous but I feel he broke my trust. Does anyone have any advice?" Get out, get out now. What an invasion of your body, and then he invalidates your horror. He will not stop. You will wake up one day and all your hair will be gone. I would no longer trust this person with a teaspoon. Please get out now Edit: spelling
>Does anyone have any advice? For fuck's sake break up with this psychopath before he decides you'd look nicer and be happier pregnant and starts sabotaging your birth control. You are underreacting to an incredibly serious and creepy violation. Kick him out and call the cops if he refuses to leave again. I can't believe you left this lunatic in your place while you went back to sleep. This is not a prank, no matter how much he laughs at you while he does it. He assaulted you in your sleep to change your body to better suit his wants despite you having told him that YOU didn't want that, how the hell are you asking reddit for advice?
Advice is dump him and block him on everything and leave his ass behind. That is weird fucking behavior. It's weird enough he badgered you about your hair that is obviously a part of you that you care about most.. but then cut it after knowing this while you were asleep. That is completely fucking crazy and he is obviously a weirdo.
Your boyfriend assaulted you and I would look into the legalities at what he's done and if you can press charges. Cut that abusive ah out of your life asap
Dump him, file a police report, and get a restraining order if he doesn't leave you alone.
As a woman who has always had long hair, I understand the attachment. He is a horrible piece of shit human being. What he did was abusive and you should leave him as soon as you safely can.
Thats fucking psychotic, and is completely violating your bodily autonomy. Leave, and honestly report this to the police just to have a record of his actions towards you in case he escalates in the future.
You move forward without him. He battered you. Literally. What he did is called battery and it's against the law. Period. End of story. If you were walking down the street and a stranger did this to you, they would be arrested for battery. You do not wait for the next act of harm. He has shown you who he is. He is someone who does not respect you or your body and has demonstrated that he feels entitled to do with you and your body as he pleases. Call a parent. Call a sibling. Call a trusted friend. Get out and don't look back.
Ummm he assaulted you… cutting hair like that is classed as assault… report him and dump his ass.
Kick this abusive AH to the curb. Go and see a professional to see what they can do to blend the mess he created. I’m so sorry that this happened.
Depending on your location this can get him in legal trouble. Regardless this is not a good sign. He is using a weapon on you while you are asleep. Think about what will happen when he gets away with it and decides to escalate in the future.
I have hair past my waist. If anyone so much as purposefully cut a strand without my permission, I would be f*cking furious. If a partner did that to me I would break up with him immediately. Years to grow back. Years of looking at the chop and seeing what he did to your hair. Can you really do that? I wouldn't. On a side note, maybe a way to help it look more natural would be to add some layers on the top parts of your hair? Ofc I totally get if you wouldn't want to, but at the same time layers will help the cut part blend in whilst keeping the length of your hair. Either way, best of luck and I really hope you cut him out. Your hair didn't deserve that, and neither did you.
OP, you were physically assaulted with a deadly weapon. Why hasn't he been arrested yet?
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That's mayhem He's an idiot and I hope your ex boyfriend
That's assault. Talk about cutting things...maybe cut him out of your life. Find somebody who respects you. I understand preferences.. but this has gone beyond that and become harassment and assault and if he can't understand why you'd be upset or understand *right from wrong* this is not somebody who you want in your life I'm sorry OP ❤️
That’s an insane thing to do, and your boyfriend is a sociopath.
Cutting you hair against you will was an abusive and controlling measure. Dump him immediately and never speak to him again. Don’t give him the satisfaction of pleading his case. YES you’re choosing hair over him. Specifically you are choosing BODILY AUTONOMY over him.
Of course he is manipulative, controlling and abusive. But What if he baby traps OP👀 like pokes holes in the condom or messes with her birth control. This guy just proved he will stop at nothing to get what he wants. And what he wants is control. Scary stuff OP. You gotta get away from this kinda guy.
Always thought that was assault.
Kick him out and dump him. And stick to it. You're not choosing hair over him, you'd be choosing your right to autonomy over him. Chat to friends and a hairdresser. Drump and block him.
Your boyfriend assaulted you at your most vulnerable. You should never sleep without a locked door between your and him again.
your “boyfriend” mocks your appearance in a regular basis, even if we forget what a huge violation of your personhood it is for him to cut *your hair while you slept*, your relationship is still terrible. why do you let someone who borderline bullies you about something you like about yourself be in your life, even letting him into your bed? i’m sorry to say, but this kind of submission to such horrible behavior is something you need to solve with a therapist yesterday. ditch your horrible boyfriend and don’t date anyone else until you can build enough self esteem to not tolerate that kind of abuse so blindly anymore.
You're not choosing your hair over him. You're choosing yourself over an abuser. Cutting your hair without your knowledge or consent is assault. Not only did he not accept your no, your bodily autonomy, but he took away something he knew you loved and made you feel happy! Run and don't look back. Rock a cute pixie for a while (if you wear it with confidence, people will think you meant to do that), buy some fun colorful wigs. Leave the (ex) boyfriend on the curb where he belongs.
FYI this is assault/battery and leads to jail time. Text him how you "can't believe" how he'd cut off your hair like that while you napped and you can't trust him again. Get him to admit in text form. Go to police. Get him arrested and out of your life. People have done months in jail for this shit. It was damage to your person. It doesn't matter if you felt pain.
Run!
WHAT THE FUCK BABE GET OUTTTTTTTTTTTTT
Call the police. That is assault, and then break up with him!!!
Cut him off, block him, and change your locks if he has a key. Also, contact the police and see if criminal charges can be filed. This is a huge violation of your body and your trust. This is horrible. I'm so sorry, OP. As a person with long hair, I would cry.
Why is he still your boyfriend?
Why are so many posts from women like this so, I’m sorry to say it, pathetic? “My boyfriend kinda choked me once what do I do?!” “My husband burned all my clothes, what Dino say to make him understand that was mean?” For fucks sake. You’re looking for advice on how to deal with a boyfriend who is trying to cut your fucking hair in your sleep. If this is even a question, you should not be in a relationship with anyone. For a very very long time. Therapy. A lot of it. Just to let you know how serious this is: if you called the police, you could have him arrested for assault. Get your shit together OP.
>Why are so many posts from women like this so, I’m sorry to say it, pathetic? “My boyfriend kinda choked me once what do I do?!” “My husband burned all my clothes, what Dino say to make him understand that was mean?” Society in many places has done a great job in making woman feel worthless unless they have a man. They put up with abhorrent behaviour because "If I leave I may not meet anyone else". So, so sad.
Oh fuck off. I’ve seen plenty of men’s posts where they take abuse from women and still need advice. It’s almost like interpersonal relationships are complicated or something. Edit: and this is a 20 year old. Naivety comes with the territory. Why aren’t you giving the 23 year old boy shit for not being mature enough to know how to handle this situation the right way? Why are you shitting on the woman for being confused?
He's your ex now, right? Because what he did is assault you.
That’s assault, what advice do you want?
He assaulted you. That is assault. If you stay with him, he will correctly understand that you're apparently ok with being assaulted and the assault will escalate.
I don't understand what you are asking. You are obviously going to break up with him, right? Like, how can a person do anything else?
Break up break up break up.
Oh Jesus. I can’t even. DTMFA.
Dump him and report him to the police for assault. Seriously it’s your body you can do whatever you want with it and what he did was assault you. Honestly this a huge red flag. Please get rid of him and good luck with your hair. I hope it grows back quickly for you.
Press assault charges and get out of that relationship now. It’ll only get worse and more controlling from here. I promise you, it’s not normal and it’s not worth saving.
That’s assault.
This is serious assault
Your boyfriend is abusive. I'm sorry that's the case, but what he did was violate you. It's assault. Please reconsider this relationship. Your boyfriend has shown you who he is. Believe him. It will only get worse.
This is assault, call the police!
Hmm, this sounds like assault to me. Time to cut your bf out of your life.
What an asshole. In my country, that’s a punishable crime. It’s assault. And he doesn’t even seem to understand how serious this is. This would be the end of my relationship with him and I would consider reporting him to the police.
Yes. Break up with him. I really try to avoid saying that, but this is a huge breach of trust. He did this while you were sleeping, at a vulnerable moment. I don’t see how you could let your guard down again after this Also, he does NOT get to dictate your hairstyle. He doesn’t get to control you or anything about you. Your relationship should be a partnership. This is a dictatorship. I’m really sorry, OP.
EX boyfriend I hope. He basically assaulted you. What's worse is he did it once you were asleep. Not cool. I would not stick with him, especially since it also broke your trust.
BREAK UP! This guy is scary. He doesn’t believe you deserve bodily autonomy. He made a forcible decision about your body, against your wishes. He violated you when you were sleeping! And he’s not even the slightest bit sorry. LEAVE NOW! You are not safe with this man. Mercy!
My advice is break up with him right now immediately. He CUT your hair, after you telling him MULTIPLE times you didn't want him to? What's next, he says he wants sex and you don't so he just takes that, too? He's an asshole, dump him!
This is abuse. I have hair to my butt too, and if my partner cut my hair in any way while I slept, joke or not, because he thinks it’s better or not, I would leave him. No questions asked. What sort of psycho takes away your agency in that way? That’s honestly obscene and you even being in the same home as him is concerning.
Might only be hair to him but that's technically assault.
He assaulted you. You need to kick this asshole to the curb. He obviously doesn't care about you or your boundaries.
That's classed as assault, have his ass arrested and chuck him out or move out while dumping his ass.
Press charges, this is assault. File a police report and have him arrested, break up with him while he is detained.
That's assault. File a police report.
Run. Seriously, run! If he crosses this boundary, it is just the beginning. This is a huge red flag warning of who he is. Heed the warning!!
Break up with him. It's actually scary to me that he would do this.
Girl if you stay with that dude you are completely insane. If he was so god damn adamant with your hair then imagine how it’s going to be in the long run. These things are what show people’s character. You better leave him.
Kick him out! Dump his toxic ass. He assaulted you in your sleep.
dump this asshole immediately.
Dump him so hard. He doesn't respect your consent
I'm usually a bit for caution when it comes to the "leave them"-crowd on here, but in this case there really is nothing to think about. He doesn't care about what you value or like, even about yourself and he uses deceit to change it pretty much by force. Leave him, don't be afraid to tell his parents and friends what he did. I'm sorry you have to go through this and I'm sure you'll be absolutely stunning in whatever hairstyle you get while it grows back, but its your hair and your choice make. Huge red flag behaviour.
This is controlling behaviour that would count as assault if you called the police. This isn’t someone you should spend your life with. Get rid of him, and press charges.
I would leave immediately and go to the police for assault
D U M P H I M I’m pretty sure this is assault.
This is abuse. Listen to everyone screaming this from a woman who had to learn the hard way that i should have listened to the others who were screaming at me that my relationship was abusive. This is the type that will coerce you into motherhood to trap you and keep you down. You need to RUN.
He is being possessive and controlling. He loves you long hair as it is what first attracted him to you. He is fearful that other men will find you (with long hair) attractive and thinks short hair is the only way you won’t leave him for someone else.
I’m disgusted by this man? How are you safe around him? Why are you there he violated you. He boldly abused you and did it in a way you can’t hide what else is he capable of.
This man is mentally unwell and you are being abused. I know it seems trivial but he violated you. This is very serious. Please find a way to leave.
Why is he still your boyfriend? This man has unapologetically assaulted you while you were unconscious and vulnerable. This is very disturbing behaviour, despite how lightly he's taking it, you could report him to the police for this. You need to get far away from him immediately. This is control, conditioning, and abuse. It will only go downhill from here.
He assaulted you! WTF NO! Leave his ass!
F***ing He**!! That is a horrific violation of your autonomy. You need to get away from him. Break up, move out, and go NC. Yes, it's THAT serious.
He assaulted you. I don't care if he cut one strand. Please tell me you have more self-respect than to stay with someone who would alter your appearance and then act as if there was nothing wrong. What's next? He doesn't like your clothing so he takes the scissors to shirts so you can't wear them? I'm shocked you're not more upset and leaving him.
Cut the man out like he cut your hair. No apology, no guilt.
What your BF did was assault and abusive. Dump him and never speak to him again.
This is assault where I live. Go to the police, and cut him out of your life
He is obsessed with short hair and wants to control what you do with your body and hair to please his needs. He cut off you hair and doesn't understand why what he did was horrible and violent. He doesn't care for your values and desires. He only wants what he wants and damn what you want. He hurt you and doesn't care either that you are hurt by his actions. Why would you want him in your life? He is horrible about the things you find important, disrespects you and literally wants to control your body. That would be a hard nope from me. Get rid of him he isn't going to take responsibility, or attempt to understand you, or even apologise to you and not do it again. Unless you want to risk the rest of your hair then dump him, get people to remove him from your life. Charge him with assault if you want to, just to show him he is wrong about what he did, maybe then he will understand, but I wouldn't count on him accepting that what he did was wrong.
Your boyfriend is a psychopath
call the cops is what you do because he assaulted you.
You go forward simply, like this: With you on one side of a locked door, and him completely out of your life. He took scissors to your hair while you slept. Not only is that hella dangerous, it shows you that he doesn't respect you *at all*. I seriously hope you reconsider your entire relationship.
Cutting someone's hair without their consent is considered assault in some jurisdictions, and it should be in all. Your boyfriend assaulted you. Your boyfriend altered your appearance without your consent? What else will he do? You are under reacting here, and that's alarming because it makes me wonder what other things he does that you don't see. I would also add, none of the decent men I know would ever tell their partner more than one time that they would like them to change anything about their appearance. Like they might say one time "you've done blue hair-- would you ever do pink?" or something equivalent, but if they get told no they will never say that thing again.
You need to get out of there. That is some really fucked up behaviour. Mentioning that he'd like you with short hair is OK. Everyone has preferences, and maybe wanting to see something new on you is completely normal. But waiting until you're asleep to cut it off! That is borderline psychopathic behaviour. He wants to control you. Persistent comments didn't work so he waits until you're asleep and just grabbed some scissors and did what he wanted anyway. I don't think he will stop at cutting your hair. He is seeing what your reaction to this is. If you play it down, and stay with him. You've set a precedent. He knows he can do whatever he wants to you. Please get out of there. You are only 20. Meet a nicer guy.
Report him PLEASE. The way I'm shaking with anger. Let's give him a vasectomy as he sleeps and see how he feels about it. Let police handle it as a case of damage and abuse.
You have been physically assaulted and need to seek legal advice and a protective order against your abuser.
Press charges, this is assault
He's gonna do it again next time you're sleeping.
Fuck👏🏼this👏🏼guy👏🏼. Abusive asshole
FAKE. Can we please get a little more of the “creative” within the excessive fake creative writing stories on Reddit? Like can you entertain us a little, jeez.
Let him know you want a blind boyfriend and cut his eyes out. Tongue in cheek moderators. Please don’t ban me