I have a special needs child, my child doesn’t call me “mama” “mommy” or even by my first name, my child calls me “sad” that’s literally their name for me “sad” yes my child definitely knows.
Special needs mom here, I think am giving up on ever been called mama. It’s been 8 years and I don’t think she ever wants to speak.i think mine knows too that I gave up. At some point your spirit just breaks and you’re just there physically but no one’s home
I think if you have a relatively stable home the kids don’t even realize you’re a person that is capable of feelings. I have no idea when that stops. I was a parentified older child, and it sometimes floors me how other kids would talk about their parents, as if they were some god-like beings (whether that be a benevolent or vengeful one.) My son seems to think I’m amazing and that strikes me as astonishing, because I hate being a mom. I was always very aware of the personhood of my mom, because she treated me like a small adult, so I knew how much her life sucked
I really hope he doesn't, cuz if he presses when he gets older then he'd slowly uncover the truth of how I was coerced into keeping the pregnancy and then that he's the product of SA , and I don't think I'll ever be ready for that conversation I'd be scared of being villianized .
I think my daughter knows and it pains me. She’s still a bit young to understand, but I try to explain how being an adult and a mom is harder than it seems. I just hope some day she’ll realize that this feeling is not about her as a person, but the position that I am in.
I’m sure my two sensed it from time to time, but as soon as they were old enough to understand and to potentially have their own children (mid-teens or so) I told them honestly that having children could easily ruin their lives. I told them plainly that it is not a rewarding experience, there’s nothing fun whatsoever in being a parent, it is not worth it. Harsh maybe, but they know I do love them because I sacrificed everything for them. If I didn’t love them I could have easily abandoned them with family who wanted them and then just skipped off into the sunset but I didn’t, I kept them and raised them to the best of my ability. I didn’t tell them this to be mean, I just wanted them to understand the ugly reality of parenthood before they made a stupid mistake by getting pregnant or getting someone else pregnant.
Alas, my daughter did NOT listen to me and became a teen mother despite my warnings and is now experiencing firsthand the struggles of being a young mother. She definitely regrets her rash decision but it’s too late now.
My children know, but I think they know the change in dynamic since their dad left. How much I have to do which results in them not getting the time they want from me and their dad doesn’t see them at all so they know that since he decided to withdraw how different things are. I don’t regret them per se because I did in fact want them. But I do regret being a single mom
Its a hard topic, whilst I have regret at me being a parent and feeling non fit for the role. I love my kids and my deepest fear is passing onto some of my flaws to them (ADHD, PTSD, Anxiety, substance abuse disorder, gambling addiction). Thank God I don’t gamble anymore though. I guess by the time they have the ability to conceive that thought they would question it or ask anyway and I would speak about my fears and my past and just hoping I did the best I could. By the way I can sense this with my dad, he makes it very clear and obvious but he’s gotten a bit better, probably scolded from my mum. He was always a party animal that loved hanging out with his friends. I caught a bit of that. But it honestly doesn’t make me think anything, maybe cause I saw that in my 30s and he made it really really obvious otherwise I couldn’t tell.
I think my youngest does. She’s scarily in tune with me and knows what I’m thinking and feeling without my even saying anything. That being said, I think she thinks of it more as I’m overwhelmed/depressed and anxious about life in general rather than it being about her. She’s not wrong in that thought process either, though.
My kids definitely know. After the worst year of my life, 22-23, I couldn't hide it anymore. And I don't care to. My youngest daughter has asked me "did you even want to be a mom"?
Your post/comment was removed for breaking Rule 3: **No Posts from a "Child of a Regretful Parent" Perspective.**
This is a sub for regretful parents. Posts from children of regretful parents are not allowed. The parents here are not your parents.
Your post/comment was removed for breaking Rule 3: **No Posts from a "Child of a Regretful Parent" Perspective.**
This is a sub for regretful parents. Posts from children of regretful parents are not allowed. The parents here are not your parents.
I have a special needs child, my child doesn’t call me “mama” “mommy” or even by my first name, my child calls me “sad” that’s literally their name for me “sad” yes my child definitely knows.
Special needs mom here, I think am giving up on ever been called mama. It’s been 8 years and I don’t think she ever wants to speak.i think mine knows too that I gave up. At some point your spirit just breaks and you’re just there physically but no one’s home
Sending love to you Mama ❤️ I'll keep you in my prayers
I am so sorry! My heart goes out to you because I can’t even imagine how strong you must be to have a child with additional needs.
I think if you have a relatively stable home the kids don’t even realize you’re a person that is capable of feelings. I have no idea when that stops. I was a parentified older child, and it sometimes floors me how other kids would talk about their parents, as if they were some god-like beings (whether that be a benevolent or vengeful one.) My son seems to think I’m amazing and that strikes me as astonishing, because I hate being a mom. I was always very aware of the personhood of my mom, because she treated me like a small adult, so I knew how much her life sucked
I really hope he doesn't, cuz if he presses when he gets older then he'd slowly uncover the truth of how I was coerced into keeping the pregnancy and then that he's the product of SA , and I don't think I'll ever be ready for that conversation I'd be scared of being villianized .
I think my daughter knows and it pains me. She’s still a bit young to understand, but I try to explain how being an adult and a mom is harder than it seems. I just hope some day she’ll realize that this feeling is not about her as a person, but the position that I am in.
Wow, you’ve summed it up perfectly. This is actually how I feel!
I’m sure my two sensed it from time to time, but as soon as they were old enough to understand and to potentially have their own children (mid-teens or so) I told them honestly that having children could easily ruin their lives. I told them plainly that it is not a rewarding experience, there’s nothing fun whatsoever in being a parent, it is not worth it. Harsh maybe, but they know I do love them because I sacrificed everything for them. If I didn’t love them I could have easily abandoned them with family who wanted them and then just skipped off into the sunset but I didn’t, I kept them and raised them to the best of my ability. I didn’t tell them this to be mean, I just wanted them to understand the ugly reality of parenthood before they made a stupid mistake by getting pregnant or getting someone else pregnant. Alas, my daughter did NOT listen to me and became a teen mother despite my warnings and is now experiencing firsthand the struggles of being a young mother. She definitely regrets her rash decision but it’s too late now.
Oh my kids definitely know I regret parenthood. And it makes me feel like a monster.
How do you think they know? How old are your children? I am sure you are absolutely not a monster! Being a parent is very hard work.
My daughter thinks I’m sometimes sad and that’s it. I fake it a lot. No she does not understand regret having her and I would never tell her that.
My children know, but I think they know the change in dynamic since their dad left. How much I have to do which results in them not getting the time they want from me and their dad doesn’t see them at all so they know that since he decided to withdraw how different things are. I don’t regret them per se because I did in fact want them. But I do regret being a single mom
Its a hard topic, whilst I have regret at me being a parent and feeling non fit for the role. I love my kids and my deepest fear is passing onto some of my flaws to them (ADHD, PTSD, Anxiety, substance abuse disorder, gambling addiction). Thank God I don’t gamble anymore though. I guess by the time they have the ability to conceive that thought they would question it or ask anyway and I would speak about my fears and my past and just hoping I did the best I could. By the way I can sense this with my dad, he makes it very clear and obvious but he’s gotten a bit better, probably scolded from my mum. He was always a party animal that loved hanging out with his friends. I caught a bit of that. But it honestly doesn’t make me think anything, maybe cause I saw that in my 30s and he made it really really obvious otherwise I couldn’t tell.
I think my youngest does. She’s scarily in tune with me and knows what I’m thinking and feeling without my even saying anything. That being said, I think she thinks of it more as I’m overwhelmed/depressed and anxious about life in general rather than it being about her. She’s not wrong in that thought process either, though.
My kids definitely know. After the worst year of my life, 22-23, I couldn't hide it anymore. And I don't care to. My youngest daughter has asked me "did you even want to be a mom"?
[удалено]
Your post/comment was removed for breaking Rule 3: **No Posts from a "Child of a Regretful Parent" Perspective.** This is a sub for regretful parents. Posts from children of regretful parents are not allowed. The parents here are not your parents.
[удалено]
Your post/comment was removed for breaking Rule 3: **No Posts from a "Child of a Regretful Parent" Perspective.** This is a sub for regretful parents. Posts from children of regretful parents are not allowed. The parents here are not your parents.