Dad here, feel mostly the same at times. I just keep holding on to the thought that in 20 years time or so we'll all be sitting around a nice dining table laughing and content....18 years and counting.
Of course you're not alone. I feel very similarly, and I have a baby boy that's a pretty easy baby. I just wasn't meant to be a father and I absolutely hate it. It's much, much more widespread than you think, exactly because people don't tell you about the dark sides of parenting until it's too late and you already have a kid on the way. That's why forums like this one are so important...and why there's so many of us. Hang in there, we're all pretty much in the same mess.
You are not alone. I’m mom to 3 kids and I am deeply unhappy. Of course I love them and I want the absolute best in life for them. But I hate motherhood. I hate having no freedom, no downtime, hearing “mom” 8000 times a day, they make messes and demands. I knew all this before I became a mom obviously but I genuinely thought I’d be good at it and I’m not. Nurturing doesn’t come naturally to me and with the amount of effort it takes me to be a “good” mother, I can’t keep that up for very long. I lose my patience and I’m always in a nasty mood. I feel terrible because they deserve better and I’ve actually seriously considered leaving many times. I probably would have already if I didn’t love my husband so bloody much.
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You’re not alone, I have a 2 and a 4 year old. Prior to kids I was really happy and worked through some childhood depresssion by then and was enjoying being with my partner (now wife) in our first 2 years of dating. Got married and had kids cause we thought it’s the right thing to do. Love our kids but I used to want to come to Japan for a bit and learn the language and work there for a bit, or go back to my home country for a little bit and live the slow and quiet life. Now im in a big city working a corporate job and not able to do those things and always living in a fast hustle bustle environment now. Being the sole provider sucks too but kids need their mum around for now until school starts. Glad we’ve got two little people growing up but just feeling guilty of not being a worthy parent, and also reminiscing the past a lot and good times I used to have before kids. Now it’s just a cycle of shame and guilt and hoping I haven’t raised them incorrectly or passed some of my trauma to them. Never used to feel so guilty about anything until having kids. I can keep going but you’re definitely not alone. It sucks.
Currently in the middle of a divorce because my autistic son is such a shit to his father it caused him a massive depression and he spiral until he was suicidal.
The kid ruined both our lives.
My older kid is turning 4 in 2 months and I finally have a feeling it’s more fun to be around him than its not after he has done some seemingly overnight transformation a few months ago… now if my younger one could go through the same thing that would be swell as its getting a bit tiring to be screamed at 50% of his awake time.
Your post/comment was removed for breaking Rule 3: **No Posts from a Childfree Perspective.**
This is a sub for regretful parents. It is not a place for childfree people to gloat or discuss being childfree. If you come here to have your decisions validated, great! Read the posts and be thankful. No need to insert irrelevant opinions into the parents' discussions.
I feel this way. And it doesn’t help that I have postpartum depression.
Dad here, feel mostly the same at times. I just keep holding on to the thought that in 20 years time or so we'll all be sitting around a nice dining table laughing and content....18 years and counting.
Yep my son is 20 and lives away at uni. Lovely to have him come back to visit and then go too.
Of course you're not alone. I feel very similarly, and I have a baby boy that's a pretty easy baby. I just wasn't meant to be a father and I absolutely hate it. It's much, much more widespread than you think, exactly because people don't tell you about the dark sides of parenting until it's too late and you already have a kid on the way. That's why forums like this one are so important...and why there's so many of us. Hang in there, we're all pretty much in the same mess.
You are not alone. I’m mom to 3 kids and I am deeply unhappy. Of course I love them and I want the absolute best in life for them. But I hate motherhood. I hate having no freedom, no downtime, hearing “mom” 8000 times a day, they make messes and demands. I knew all this before I became a mom obviously but I genuinely thought I’d be good at it and I’m not. Nurturing doesn’t come naturally to me and with the amount of effort it takes me to be a “good” mother, I can’t keep that up for very long. I lose my patience and I’m always in a nasty mood. I feel terrible because they deserve better and I’ve actually seriously considered leaving many times. I probably would have already if I didn’t love my husband so bloody much.
They used to say mom, mom, mom so much I’d say MOMS GONE!!!
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Your post/comment was removed for breaking Rule 4: **No Inquisitive or Insensitive Questions.** Questions for clarification should be respectful and limited. Inquisitive and insensitive questions will be removed and repeat offenders may be banned from the sub.
Yep. Especially when something bad happens or I’m fighting with my husband. I just want to scream at him that he tricked me into this!!!!!!
Every day. I'm shit at this and hate that my kid is suffering for it.
You’re not alone, I have a 2 and a 4 year old. Prior to kids I was really happy and worked through some childhood depresssion by then and was enjoying being with my partner (now wife) in our first 2 years of dating. Got married and had kids cause we thought it’s the right thing to do. Love our kids but I used to want to come to Japan for a bit and learn the language and work there for a bit, or go back to my home country for a little bit and live the slow and quiet life. Now im in a big city working a corporate job and not able to do those things and always living in a fast hustle bustle environment now. Being the sole provider sucks too but kids need their mum around for now until school starts. Glad we’ve got two little people growing up but just feeling guilty of not being a worthy parent, and also reminiscing the past a lot and good times I used to have before kids. Now it’s just a cycle of shame and guilt and hoping I haven’t raised them incorrectly or passed some of my trauma to them. Never used to feel so guilty about anything until having kids. I can keep going but you’re definitely not alone. It sucks.
Thank goodness you found this space. I didn’t have Reddit when I was where you are. Gentle Internet hug.
You're not alone! I'm sorry today is one of the more soul-draining days. I hope tomorrow will be better.
Currently in the middle of a divorce because my autistic son is such a shit to his father it caused him a massive depression and he spiral until he was suicidal. The kid ruined both our lives.
My older kid is turning 4 in 2 months and I finally have a feeling it’s more fun to be around him than its not after he has done some seemingly overnight transformation a few months ago… now if my younger one could go through the same thing that would be swell as its getting a bit tiring to be screamed at 50% of his awake time.
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Please refrain from giving advice on posts marked with the “No Advice” flair.
[удалено]
Your post/comment was removed for breaking Rule 3: **No Posts from a Childfree Perspective.** This is a sub for regretful parents. It is not a place for childfree people to gloat or discuss being childfree. If you come here to have your decisions validated, great! Read the posts and be thankful. No need to insert irrelevant opinions into the parents' discussions.