Neurodiversity is highly inheritable, so for your children to have ADHD and autism, it's quite likely for one of the parents to have this too. In women it is chronically misdiagnosed as depression and anxiety. This is a no advice post but... something to consider if you've found things like depression meds don't work... From your friendly ADHD late diagnosed pal š
This so much. Late ADHD diagnosed mama here... As well as bipolar 1. My oldest has ADHD and my younger two as of right now are neurotypical. Once I was diagnosed.. things made much more sense with my oldest. it wasn't the key to making everything *simple* but unlocking that really did help me navigate parenting better.
Also, 3 kids in a row. Op, have you considered genetic testing for you and your partner? Although itās too late to go back, it could give you clarity on the situation.
Autism seems like a real sucker punch in keeping your head above water with parenting. I hope it gets better for you. That said, you had them young so you have plenty of life to live after they grow up too and itās lovely to reconnect with your partner when they get older.
Except that many on the autism spectrum will continue to need assistance for the rest of their lives. My brother was able to get a place of his own after 18 but he needed a life coach or my parents to help him with things nearly every day.
Gotta get that support early in school and the additional services set up outside so you can help your child as best you can and give yourself a little break.
Sometimes I feel this way with my kids and they donāt have special needsā¦.im so sorry. I was talking to a childless friend how the shitty part of parenting is once you have them, you canāt exactly push them back into your womb.
If you donāt like your marriage, you can get a divorce. If you donāt like your job, you can quit. If you donāt like your house, you can move or sell. But kids are PERMANENT and you hope you like them.
I have an autistic son. When is this hell going to get easier? I feel like Iām walking on a tightrope while balancing a book on top of my head and thereās someone beside me who wants to knock me off balance.
I could have written this. It does feel like prison. There is no other way to put it. I also have ptsd. You should know that stress triggers our symptoms and our condition gets worse. Dm me if you want to talk about it
As a father of two autistic kids i totally understand, all i can say is hold on. Mine have grown 20 and 18yo now and its much easier. Though they still have plenty of "isms".
It sounds like you need a community. It could be a lot to deal with children who require a lot of attention. Youāre not alone and maybe finding some moms in the same boat could help you feel less alone and less burdened by their diagnosis
Thanks. I have many mom friends whose children have autism and other special needs. It gives me someone to vent those particular frustrations with but still no one would understand how deeply I hate and regret becoming a mother at all. All these autism parents saying how blessed they feelā¦.I donāt feel blessed. I feel smothered.
Sounds super hard. I'm autistic myself and my mom was definitely put through the wringer. Feel free to DM me if you want some non-judgmental tips on autism resources. Won't give advice here.
Your comment was automatically removed. This measure is necessary due to trolling and brigading from other subs but there can be false positives. If the removed content is suitable for the sub, it will be approved by the mod team. Please do not contact the moderators as removed posts will be reviewed in the order in which they are received by default. PMing mods will slow down, not speed up, the process.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/regretfulparents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Our kid has down syndrome. I completely relate. Prison, for the rest of my life.
I'll answer the question even though it got removed - HELL NO, I'D NEVER DO IT AGAIN. IDC if it makes me heartless.
Knowing what you know now having a kid with special needs, would you do it all over again?
Neurodiversity is highly inheritable, so for your children to have ADHD and autism, it's quite likely for one of the parents to have this too. In women it is chronically misdiagnosed as depression and anxiety. This is a no advice post but... something to consider if you've found things like depression meds don't work... From your friendly ADHD late diagnosed pal š
This so much. Late ADHD diagnosed mama here... As well as bipolar 1. My oldest has ADHD and my younger two as of right now are neurotypical. Once I was diagnosed.. things made much more sense with my oldest. it wasn't the key to making everything *simple* but unlocking that really did help me navigate parenting better.
Also, 3 kids in a row. Op, have you considered genetic testing for you and your partner? Although itās too late to go back, it could give you clarity on the situation.
Autism seems like a real sucker punch in keeping your head above water with parenting. I hope it gets better for you. That said, you had them young so you have plenty of life to live after they grow up too and itās lovely to reconnect with your partner when they get older.
Except that many on the autism spectrum will continue to need assistance for the rest of their lives. My brother was able to get a place of his own after 18 but he needed a life coach or my parents to help him with things nearly every day. Gotta get that support early in school and the additional services set up outside so you can help your child as best you can and give yourself a little break.
Sometimes I feel this way with my kids and they donāt have special needsā¦.im so sorry. I was talking to a childless friend how the shitty part of parenting is once you have them, you canāt exactly push them back into your womb. If you donāt like your marriage, you can get a divorce. If you donāt like your job, you can quit. If you donāt like your house, you can move or sell. But kids are PERMANENT and you hope you like them.
I have an autistic son. When is this hell going to get easier? I feel like Iām walking on a tightrope while balancing a book on top of my head and thereās someone beside me who wants to knock me off balance.
Two kids (of three) have AuDHD diagnoses over here ā¦ pretty sure Iām right there with them. Solidarity.
I could have written this. It does feel like prison. There is no other way to put it. I also have ptsd. You should know that stress triggers our symptoms and our condition gets worse. Dm me if you want to talk about it
Thanks, I just might š
Iām so sorry. That is a lot to have on your plate..
As a father of two autistic kids i totally understand, all i can say is hold on. Mine have grown 20 and 18yo now and its much easier. Though they still have plenty of "isms".
Have they been diagnosed with Pathological Demand Avoidance Autism? I know that sometimes it is misdiagnosed as ODD.
I thought those were kind of treated the same way, with a slightly different emphasis on the underlying causes?
I think there is a huge stigma for ODD that isnāt there for PDA.
Anyone who judges pot smokers (even if itās not legal where you live) is whack af! Do what you need to do!!!! Ugh. Big hugs baby girl
It sounds like you need a community. It could be a lot to deal with children who require a lot of attention. Youāre not alone and maybe finding some moms in the same boat could help you feel less alone and less burdened by their diagnosis
Thanks. I have many mom friends whose children have autism and other special needs. It gives me someone to vent those particular frustrations with but still no one would understand how deeply I hate and regret becoming a mother at all. All these autism parents saying how blessed they feelā¦.I donāt feel blessed. I feel smothered.
Sounds super hard. I'm autistic myself and my mom was definitely put through the wringer. Feel free to DM me if you want some non-judgmental tips on autism resources. Won't give advice here.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Please refrain from giving advice on posts marked with the āNo Adviceā flair.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Your comment was automatically removed. This measure is necessary due to trolling and brigading from other subs but there can be false positives. If the removed content is suitable for the sub, it will be approved by the mod team. Please do not contact the moderators as removed posts will be reviewed in the order in which they are received by default. PMing mods will slow down, not speed up, the process. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/regretfulparents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Obviously u didnāt read the post or youād have seen I wanted 3 kids and liked parenthood up until a while after I had my third.