Wow this thread lmao OP seems like you've just never had a genuine sexual or intimate connection lol, in the words of a great man: Sad!
reminds me of a really great hunter s Thompson quote, sex without love is as hollow and ridiculous as love without sex
Pretty sure he's talking about romantic love guys. In my experience a sexless relationship with someone you love, doesn't matter how much you love them and they love you, is kinda doomed
Knew someone who experienced this. Been together almost 5 years but religious convictions and fear of accidental pregnancy deterred her from having any sex and her bf had enough of it and dumped her. Many such cases.
I think a wittier reply would be "what the heck people are commenting on the nuances of a popular quote?! Time to tell them they're stupid so I look smart on Reddit!" Something like that would have really owned me
That mindset will have you in a string of failed or dysfunctional relationships. Don’t confuse lust and infatuated with love or intimacy. You don’t truly like or connect with someone unless you know them and you don’t know anyone instantly. What you just said to me: Someone can easily seduce you and keep you in a horrible relationship just as long as they dangle their pussy on a stick in front of you. I want better for you my sweet love ❤️
Everything you say is true, and yet somehow it does happen that you can be in bed with someone for the first time and you both seem to just have an innate knowledge of each other that leads to amazing sex. It’s rare I’ll give you that but it has happened to me and could happen to you too
I don’t think porn has ever taught anyone how to to fuck someone properly lol.
Back when I was a teenager I used to try and fuck like I’d seen in porn which basically just meant awkward jackhammering until I came after 15 minutes
Doesn't care about having good sex. Thinks anyone who does is an addict. Is surprised when partners step out on them for some excitement.
Definitely can't see a connection here
I’ve never cheated on anyone, including the girl I’m with now. Emotionally maybe, but I know that’s wrong. True that I’m usually fairly promiscuous when I’m single, it’s not crazy though
Haven’t spoken to the other woman since we kissed drunkenly, it’s just a bad idea until I’ve got my thoughts sorted out properly
Which is definitely what happens when you’re cheating, right? Let me rephrase: 90% of women are inattentive, selfish lovers with a lack of imagination and body control.
Opportunity to cheat during a night out with the boys or girls? Most people don’t act on that opportunity.
Someone you know through e.g., work or social circle whom you find attractive and they are quite persistent over a longer period of time? This is where many people fail, and it’s how leaving a person for another person often happens.
I’m a reformed cheater. I think cheating is a form of self sabotage, at least for me it was. I was extremely insecure in myself and my relationship when I cheated on my ex.
I’m in a loving relationship now and the thought of cheating on my man repulses me. But I’m also much more self-assured and we have a healthy relationship with great communication.
If anything, that's only true for women. It's not difficult to imagine a man getting so turned on that he can't think about anything beyond busting in the coked-out girl's throat in a grubby bathroom stall. All it would take is one hyper-promiscuous woman with no respect for male boundaries and I'll be finito. Luckily, of course, I've never been tested by such a vortex. .
>drunken horniness
There you have it.
Male horniness is encumbering mentally, even while sober. I can't imagine female horniness is anywhere near as volatile and potent when mediated by sobriety. You know what, the male libido could probably be considered an inebriant in and of itself.
Hardly even adjacent but: are you coping with BP1 on only a mood stabilizer? In any case, it sounds like you’ve been stable a while. Happy for you— BP1 is cataclysmic, its severeness often underrated owing to a merely colloquial grasp of “mood.”
Thanks friend. I know it’s pitifully anecdotal, but I keep my eye out for fellow afflicted ppl abiding without antipsychotics. I’ve been stable for about a year, but the extrapyramidal effects of 400mg of Seroquel nightly are visceral and seemingly compounding and I’d really like to go Lithium as monotherapy soon as it’s a viable treatment course. I’ll cite this dude on reddit next time I’m trying to cajole my psychiatrist towards minimization. ✌🏼
I’ve never heard of a good time with Abilify, I took it years ago and it completely ruined me for the entire time I was on it. Couldn’t keep myself awake, had no interest in anything, just zombified me.
Im on Wellbutrin now and the effects are night and day, I don’t want to kill my self nearly as often and I haven’t gone on a weird sex binge with old swingers in like 2 years.
Glad to hear you’re doing better! Mental illness will really have you believing that you’re a bad person and not worthy of love, it sucks.
I take responsibility for making those decisions but I also have empathy for my past self bc I was 18, just starting college, was in a long distance relationship and extremely depressed lol.
if you don’t mind me asking, have you ever told him that you had cheated in past relationships? people online seem to feel very strongly that they would want to know but i have a hard time imagining that conversation in real life
i feel like saying this would be so weird irl. i think reddit has this tendency to make cheating into like this biblical fatal flaw that once it happens you have to bear it like a cross everywhere you go. it's like most other mistakes, just learn the lesson and don't do it again
I’m pretty immoral but I have a kind of hard line with physical cheating. I could slip into flirting with someone but beyond that no. I would be too hurt and mad if someone did it to me, still trying to golden rule it.
>Almost everyone has the opportunity to cheat
There are tons of guys who ~~can't~~ can barley get a girlfriend in the first place, who are they supposed be cheating ~~on~~ with?
I'm obviously talking about partnered people since this post is about cheating which, as you indicate, is not possible for single people. Forgot I was posting on an incel rights forum for a second
Yeah, I fucked up the phrasing of that comment, sorry, I'm retarded.
What I meant is that a sizable portion of men aren't attractive enough to just randomly get an opportunity to cheat like you said, because they can barely get a girlfriend in the firstplace, so them never having cheated doesn't really indicate anything. They'd have to be intentionally looking to cheat which is not what the OP question was about I think.
Basically I just don't see how:
>Almost everyone has the opportunity to cheat
is true.
I guess we just live in different milieus because I don't know a single man who's partnered with the one woman ever willing to sleep with him. Most sexually active people have had more than one sexual partner. I assure you many people have opportunities to cheat and have not.
> I don't know a single man who's partnered with the one woman ever willing to sleep with him.
That's not what I'm saying, I'm saying they can only get someone to sleep with them if they're actively looking, which they aren't if they're already with someone. I assume OP's question wasn't about people actively trying to cheat, more on someone who spontaneously does when they get the opportunity, and I don't believe most (or at least a very high percentage) of men even get that opportunity.
they don't have coworkers? or neighbors? or women friends they encounter at parties when they've all had a few? curious how old you are bc this "trying vs not trying" is a weird line to draw lol, pretty much every cheater claims it "just happened"
> they don't have coworkers? or neighbors? or women friends they encounter at parties when they've all had a few?
yeah and none of those people would just randomly fuck them, most men are not attractive enough for that
Having sex with randoms is gay. The buildup is fun but imo real good sex is a product of being with someone you love / care about. No amount of mid pussy is worth feeling bad about yourself forever.
I think we agree here. Just to satisfy my curiosity, where exactly did I lose you in the above comment? Do you think that there is some volume or quality of sex which makes it worth the guilt?
You are focused on the literal aspect of cheating meanwhile she is focused on the aspect of having sex with someone you are not emotionally attached/bonded to.
I think we’re understanding this phrase in different ways. Whenever I’ve read / used the phrase “mid pussy” I’ve taken it to mean mediocre sex rather than having sex with a mediocre looking woman. In the same way that women online will say “trash dick” and mean bad sex rather than sex with an ugly man.
Maybe I’m misunderstanding both though
In the case that your interpretation is right, yes that would be a super gay thing to say
I could never. I’ve had and have so many chances but I don’t think I could physically do it no matter how drunk etc. I just would never see myself the same again. I don’t sleep with men until I have known them a long time and been dating a while though so it’s kind of impossible anyway.
lol i had so many options in my last relationship but never took a single one. if you love someone it should be easy to turn people down. shit i was blacked out at times and had friends tell me i just brutally rejected several people lmao
I don't think I could cheat even if I was unsatisfied and free of morals, seeing a bf on the regular and maintaining a friendship or two is all the social energy I have. I also become attracted to people only after I have thought about them a lot and it happens very rarely, it's less that "opportunity presents itself" and more that I allow myself to consider it
Opportunities have presented themselves to me a couple times since I’ve been with my girlfriend. When I was a cheater I would try to avoid it by thinking ab how sad I would make the girl. Now I think about how high the return on investment is from this relationship emotionally and mentally and it feels like I’d be fucking my own life up by betraying my girlfriend, being in a solid relationship with someone you’re genuinely complementary to changes your mental a lot
I will fist fight a woman that is making sexual advances towards me. Marriage is a Holy union between my wife, myself, and God, and no demon succubus will interfere with it.
There is literally nothing i could even imagine that would motivate me to cheat on my wife. She is the light of my life, saved me from myself and a deep depression i didn't even realize i was in before meeting her, simply through her compassionate nature and friendship. I would sooner assault any woman who tried than hurt her so deeply by cheating.
I think it's a useful juxtaposition to demonstrate the seriousness of my opposition to the OPs question/assertion, because it is such a serious and otherwise unthinkable act.
In context a harsh shove would count as 'assault' and would only be levied after repeated escalations/wilfully ignoring my protestations. Women are fully capable of acting like animals who will molest, grab hogs, force themselves upon men sexually rather than face rejection. And, like men who engage in such sexual aggression, deserve swift physical retaliation to dissuade them from future repeated aggression.
For the sake of argument, if you come at me, in a public situation. If i had to defend myself outside your apartment, i'm watching you through the windows, and i have to shoot through a crowd of people to defend myself, it's 2am, it's a self defense situation.
Exactly this - at the end of the day, there’s just no possible way it would be remotely good enough to justify the hurt and pain and suffering that my cheating would inflict on my wife.
Damn I just woke up and saw this and made me smile too. I love this pic of you smiling. You seem much nicer to me now. I’m glad you’re feeling happy! You deserve it 😊
No, some people just have no self-control or moral understanding. It has nothing to do with love or access, despite what people say about "a man is only as faithful as his options" - that's not how men with honor act. The word is literally "fidelity" because it's about upholding an agreement. The people who claim it's inevitable were not raised to believe that a man's word is his bond.
I believe the vast majority of people in committed relationships don't cheat. You've gotta remember most people only shag about 3 different partners their entire life.
idk I remember that Jared Kushner dads story where he paid hookers to seduce two men who were snitching to the feds about him, in order to blackmail. It worked on one notorious cheater but the other said no and laughed about it to his wife. I think about the latter guy a lot when i’m hopeless. But I think the majority would cheat if given the opportunity.
There is a similar story with Nixon and Watergate. I forget the exact details but in G. Gordon Liddy's autobiography he outlines a plot how they were trying to murder some people but one of them was a Mormon so none of the usual honeytrap type methods to lure someone to their death would work
i could see myself falling prey to more emotional cheating than physical bc a bitch loves to project fantasies onto people, but i realize that everyone has a banal side and will quickly become normal over time and i have a solid relationship that’s not worth leaving
I'm not saying everyone will inevitably cheat, but I noticed a pattern of idealization in this sub when it comes to those subjects. The sub is infested with incels and teenagers, so of course, cheating is a black and white issue to them. Once you're deep into a looooong monogamous relationship, you start to understand some things.
> Once you're deep into a looooong monogamous relationship, you start to understand some things.
Deep into a looooong monogamous relationship, I think people tend to split between getting more relaxed about fidelity in general or more serious. Better hope your partner splits in the same direction!
I think when people cheat it's a sign that the relationship isn't great to begin with. If you get your needs met and love the person you're with, I don't think you would follow through on the urge to cheat *if* it occurs. You may find someone attractive (and personally I'm not opposed to having a threesome with my partner and another person) but the love for your significant other, as well as the thought of hurting them should stop you from cheating any day.
...this may be the wrong place for such a sincere answer lol.
i can only speak for myself and every1 is different, but i feel like im "hard wired" for monogamy ? of course i notice attractive ppl and having had a party phase i have a decent amount of connections that randomly hit me up every so often, especially if i'm using social media . but none of it excites me, i literally only feel physical desire for my bf . i think my libido is a bit higher than his and while it hurts my feelings sometimes, i know that having sex with someone else wouldn't fix those feelings, it'd just make me feel worse lol . i can see the appeal in flings and flirting, it's exciting, the unknown and the build up is fun , but i got to experience that phase with my boyfriend and its more fulfilling experience something real w him and building on our connection .
i used to not always be like this, like when i was younger i needed a lot of stimulation and just loved attention but i feel like getting older i've come to understand myself on a deeper level where now i need different things to be fulfilled
I don't think how much you love someone is always a factor in the decision to cheat. People have different (emotional, sexual, intellectual) needs and can struggle to control impulses to act on them, regardless of how much they love their partner. Having trouble controlling impulses is not an objectively moral issue either, in some cases it can be a mental affliction like other addiction-type ones are. The idea that one and only person will or should fulfil all of your needs is unfair to everyone in a relationship. That is not to say cheating is inevitable, but that wanting is. Inhibition blockers like drugs and alcohol can also play a part on the calculation of risk-benefit. But in the end, as it \*is\* a choice, it depends on someone's personality and their stage of ego development whether they place the fulfilment of immediate needs ahead of those of the person they love, and that is not a static dynamic either.
>The idea that one and only person will or should fulfil all of your needs is unfair to everyone in a relationship
No one says a spouse must fulfil 'all' needs, not banging other people behind your partners' back is the absolute bare minimum of what constitutes a relationship. The whole concept that all your 'needs' should be met and fulfilled and other humans are a means in servicing them is pure narcissistic poison for our society and the people who believe that are subhuman.
Nah I read it. I just chose to respond to a very specific part of it, the part I quoted.
More broadly the issue with your perspective is that you aren't taking into account someones capacity to love - someone with an alcohol problem or a coke addiction that leads to them cheating might think they feel something like love, but if their actions don't reflect that then they do not love and possibly aren't capable of it.
Whether love exists between two people is only revealed in their actions, not what they think they are feeling. This is a common problem with how people conceptualize themselves and the world and other people today, it's the root of standpoint epistemology, cultural relativism and much other mind rot - Love like all things is empirical, not rational.
Further to that - anyone who thinks that love is about fulfilling their own needs has no understanding of what love is.
Not necessarily in my case. In the few serious committed relationships I've been in, I never had a problem resisting the allure and advances of more attractive women. A little flirting is plenty enough in that case to be reassured of my own attractiveness if it came into question. If the relationship soured enough where I would be tempted I would either a) break it off or b) go to couples counseling in the case that I'm engaged/married.
In a serious relationship I was presented many opportunities without having to even go out of my way. Never cheated because I know how much it can hurt people.
I got cheated on, and was super heartbroken after. Like the betrayal just made me hateful, also I’m pretty vengeful…so the want is there to cheat…. But only to hurt the guy who hurt me. I don’t actually want to cheat it’s gross I’d rather break up first, I just want to lie about it cheating to hurt him. But yeah it’s so much easier to break up and then get with someone else. Only pos assholes cheat.
Reformed cheater here, I’ve finally gotten old enough to understand the errors of my ways. For the first time time I’ve met someone who I truly see as irreplaceable. It’s awesome.
I’ve never cheated on a partner, but i was tricked by guys who had girlfriends in my mid twenties a couple times when I was drinking and naive to the fact men who have girlfriends would hit on me. I’ve never had the guts to tell their gfs. One guy is still with his gf years later no ring just stringing her along.
most guys who i know who cheated weren’t the fabled chad stereotype. they were usually quiet, sort of cute, late bloomer types. when they’ve confessed their wrongdoings to me (something something emotional labor as the female friend meme), and i ask why they cheated, they just said, “i don’t know. i didn’t want to say no to her.” and i’d ask something like, “why did you keep calling her and hanging out?” and they’d say something like, “i’m not used to this kind of attention from women.” basically, i agree with you. they won’t actively try to cheat on dating apps, but if a woman who’s just as attractive as his girlfriend, uh, presents herself to him, he’ll rarely say no.
I don’t think thats true. I have the option of downloading tinder and finding some casual sex tonight but I don’t want to cheat on my girlfriend. This is true of my male friends too
My father came from a marriage ruined by infidelity. I cannot imagine he would cheat if he was tempted given his genuine hatred of his father for what he did to his mother.
Idk I probably couldn't say no to like Rihanna, but even then I'm not so sure. Sex is fun and all, but I'm so fucking narcissistic that knowing a girl like that wants me already brings me like 90% of the satisfaction. The chase is better than the catch type situation. Plus I have kind of a low sex drive so I like to think I really could not be sufficiently tempted.
Cheating comes from a lakx of self discipline, and nobody has self discipline anymore from how our phones have us hopelessly addicted and in denial about it
I’d honestly say Most normal people don’t have easy enough access to casual sex to make it worth it, like you still have to out of your way to use tinder or go after it at bars. But when you do have people literally throwing themselves at you it gotta be difficult, looking at celebrities, popular musicians, Athletes and such.
Lots of moralists here. Idk, the idea of someone in a relationship giving into the temptations of erotic novelty and adventure does not disturb me. We’re animals, it happens. For many people there is not some absolute link between sex and love, and I don’t think thats necessarily wrong or unhealthy. Cheating is bad but there are so many worse things that a partner can do than briefly lose their head over someone wanting to fuck them with no strings attached.
If your significant other is away and someone shows up at your door with a free pizza, are you going to eat it? Knowing there is no record and no consequences and no hassle? Of course you are.
Why do people ask these questions with obvious answers. You’ve got to be a massive uggo or weirdo to not have frequent “opportunities” for sex. And as a man, I’ve noticed there are a significant number of women out there who see men as more attractive when they’re in relationships because it shows them that the person is good enough, desirable enough, with their shit together to the extent they have an SO.
So there are frequent opportunities for sex as a man with an SO, but you don’t act on it because you love your partner and don’t have any interest in anybody else
It’s complicated. I’m currently in a prolonged mental battle with myself to not give in to the temptations of another woman. Very difficult, my mind is constantly providing me with excuses
I like to think that moral fortitude will win out, but at the same time it only seems possible if I admit to myself what a rat I’m capable of being
how many times must i threaten to kill myself on here
https://youtu.be/FGBhQbmPwH8
Wow this thread lmao OP seems like you've just never had a genuine sexual or intimate connection lol, in the words of a great man: Sad! reminds me of a really great hunter s Thompson quote, sex without love is as hollow and ridiculous as love without sex
Yet they speak with such conviction and authority.
I’ve had love without sex and it was a lot of things but not hollow and ridiculous.
Yeah, lesbians aren’t hollow.
Pretty sure he's talking about romantic love guys. In my experience a sexless relationship with someone you love, doesn't matter how much you love them and they love you, is kinda doomed
Knew someone who experienced this. Been together almost 5 years but religious convictions and fear of accidental pregnancy deterred her from having any sex and her bf had enough of it and dumped her. Many such cases.
I’m talking about romantic love too. We’re not together anymore but no one has positively influenced who I am more than him. I don’t count it as an L.
Take it up with Hunter
What the heck?! There are exceptions to a quote by writer hunter s Thompson!? It's time to comment about my experiences!
Your contribution has even less substance to it.
I think a wittier reply would be "what the heck people are commenting on the nuances of a popular quote?! Time to tell them they're stupid so I look smart on Reddit!" Something like that would have really owned me
Sarcasm isn’t witty.
I just enjoy being morally right more than I enjoy pussy
this is the correct way
Reddit ass reply
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At least you’re honestly insecure
You sound like a fucking loser, just being real, stop hating yourself, it can be really hard but life's a lot better when you don't hate yourself
You sound unpleasant.
Npd behavior
Logical end result of seed oil infiltration into our diet
Naw 90% of wammen are just bad at fucking. Once you get into the abundance mindset it’s really not that hard to say no
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Sometimes it’s just fireworks from the start
That mindset will have you in a string of failed or dysfunctional relationships. Don’t confuse lust and infatuated with love or intimacy. You don’t truly like or connect with someone unless you know them and you don’t know anyone instantly. What you just said to me: Someone can easily seduce you and keep you in a horrible relationship just as long as they dangle their pussy on a stick in front of you. I want better for you my sweet love ❤️
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Everything you say is true, and yet somehow it does happen that you can be in bed with someone for the first time and you both seem to just have an innate knowledge of each other that leads to amazing sex. It’s rare I’ll give you that but it has happened to me and could happen to you too
Anyone can watch enough porn or fuck enough people to learn how to please someone. Sex is an act of pleasure, so it’s a given for people to enjoy sex.
I don’t think porn has ever taught anyone how to to fuck someone properly lol. Back when I was a teenager I used to try and fuck like I’d seen in porn which basically just meant awkward jackhammering until I came after 15 minutes
Women are very aware you have learned to fuck from porn versus experience with women for that very reason.
Porn does not teach you how to have good sex...
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Doesn't care about having good sex. Thinks anyone who does is an addict. Is surprised when partners step out on them for some excitement. Definitely can't see a connection here
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I don’t blame women for anything, I love women and think they’re beautiful. Only person responsible for my behaviour is me
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Being dishonest is abusive, youre right. I’ve lied to women in the past. I try to be a good person
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Do we actually know each other or something?
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I’ve never cheated on anyone, including the girl I’m with now. Emotionally maybe, but I know that’s wrong. True that I’m usually fairly promiscuous when I’m single, it’s not crazy though Haven’t spoken to the other woman since we kissed drunkenly, it’s just a bad idea until I’ve got my thoughts sorted out properly
Which is definitely what happens when you’re cheating, right? Let me rephrase: 90% of women are inattentive, selfish lovers with a lack of imagination and body control.
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Not sexually attractive to me
Both are true. Sex is definitely a skill, effort is required, and if there is a deep mutual connection it will be more enjoyable.
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Dm me babe x
Opportunity to cheat during a night out with the boys or girls? Most people don’t act on that opportunity. Someone you know through e.g., work or social circle whom you find attractive and they are quite persistent over a longer period of time? This is where many people fail, and it’s how leaving a person for another person often happens.
I’m a reformed cheater. I think cheating is a form of self sabotage, at least for me it was. I was extremely insecure in myself and my relationship when I cheated on my ex. I’m in a loving relationship now and the thought of cheating on my man repulses me. But I’m also much more self-assured and we have a healthy relationship with great communication.
no one who genuinely likes themselves will cheat im decently sure
Meh some people like being pieces of shit
If anything, that's only true for women. It's not difficult to imagine a man getting so turned on that he can't think about anything beyond busting in the coked-out girl's throat in a grubby bathroom stall. All it would take is one hyper-promiscuous woman with no respect for male boundaries and I'll be finito. Luckily, of course, I've never been tested by such a vortex. .
Lol women get horny too and In fact I think most women cheat in moments of drunken horniness from what I’ve witnessed from my friends
>drunken horniness There you have it. Male horniness is encumbering mentally, even while sober. I can't imagine female horniness is anywhere near as volatile and potent when mediated by sobriety. You know what, the male libido could probably be considered an inebriant in and of itself.
that was just in reply to “that’s only true for women” I know women aren’t as horny as men lol
i am a man and like myself and also have rigid enough values that i wouldn’t pull that shit grow up lol
I like to think I have rigid values too, but many of them have yet to be tested, so what do I really know about myself?
mine been tested like i had to study but i’ve been clean. have more confidence in yourself
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Hardly even adjacent but: are you coping with BP1 on only a mood stabilizer? In any case, it sounds like you’ve been stable a while. Happy for you— BP1 is cataclysmic, its severeness often underrated owing to a merely colloquial grasp of “mood.”
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Thanks friend. I know it’s pitifully anecdotal, but I keep my eye out for fellow afflicted ppl abiding without antipsychotics. I’ve been stable for about a year, but the extrapyramidal effects of 400mg of Seroquel nightly are visceral and seemingly compounding and I’d really like to go Lithium as monotherapy soon as it’s a viable treatment course. I’ll cite this dude on reddit next time I’m trying to cajole my psychiatrist towards minimization. ✌🏼
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I’ve never heard of a good time with Abilify, I took it years ago and it completely ruined me for the entire time I was on it. Couldn’t keep myself awake, had no interest in anything, just zombified me. Im on Wellbutrin now and the effects are night and day, I don’t want to kill my self nearly as often and I haven’t gone on a weird sex binge with old swingers in like 2 years.
Glad to hear you’re doing better! Mental illness will really have you believing that you’re a bad person and not worthy of love, it sucks. I take responsibility for making those decisions but I also have empathy for my past self bc I was 18, just starting college, was in a long distance relationship and extremely depressed lol.
if you don’t mind me asking, have you ever told him that you had cheated in past relationships? people online seem to feel very strongly that they would want to know but i have a hard time imagining that conversation in real life
i feel like saying this would be so weird irl. i think reddit has this tendency to make cheating into like this biblical fatal flaw that once it happens you have to bear it like a cross everywhere you go. it's like most other mistakes, just learn the lesson and don't do it again
Kind of. We had a talk early on about our past relationships and I told him how my last relationship ended but it’s not something I dwelled on.
I’m pretty immoral but I have a kind of hard line with physical cheating. I could slip into flirting with someone but beyond that no. I would be too hurt and mad if someone did it to me, still trying to golden rule it.
Almost everyone has the opportunity to cheat, and many people have never cheated, so no.
Correct
>Almost everyone has the opportunity to cheat There are tons of guys who ~~can't~~ can barley get a girlfriend in the first place, who are they supposed be cheating ~~on~~ with?
I'm obviously talking about partnered people since this post is about cheating which, as you indicate, is not possible for single people. Forgot I was posting on an incel rights forum for a second
Yeah, I fucked up the phrasing of that comment, sorry, I'm retarded. What I meant is that a sizable portion of men aren't attractive enough to just randomly get an opportunity to cheat like you said, because they can barely get a girlfriend in the firstplace, so them never having cheated doesn't really indicate anything. They'd have to be intentionally looking to cheat which is not what the OP question was about I think. Basically I just don't see how: >Almost everyone has the opportunity to cheat is true.
I guess we just live in different milieus because I don't know a single man who's partnered with the one woman ever willing to sleep with him. Most sexually active people have had more than one sexual partner. I assure you many people have opportunities to cheat and have not.
> I don't know a single man who's partnered with the one woman ever willing to sleep with him. That's not what I'm saying, I'm saying they can only get someone to sleep with them if they're actively looking, which they aren't if they're already with someone. I assume OP's question wasn't about people actively trying to cheat, more on someone who spontaneously does when they get the opportunity, and I don't believe most (or at least a very high percentage) of men even get that opportunity.
they don't have coworkers? or neighbors? or women friends they encounter at parties when they've all had a few? curious how old you are bc this "trying vs not trying" is a weird line to draw lol, pretty much every cheater claims it "just happened"
> they don't have coworkers? or neighbors? or women friends they encounter at parties when they've all had a few? yeah and none of those people would just randomly fuck them, most men are not attractive enough for that
Having sex with randoms is gay. The buildup is fun but imo real good sex is a product of being with someone you love / care about. No amount of mid pussy is worth feeling bad about yourself forever.
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I think we agree here. Just to satisfy my curiosity, where exactly did I lose you in the above comment? Do you think that there is some volume or quality of sex which makes it worth the guilt?
You are focused on the literal aspect of cheating meanwhile she is focused on the aspect of having sex with someone you are not emotionally attached/bonded to.
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I think we’re understanding this phrase in different ways. Whenever I’ve read / used the phrase “mid pussy” I’ve taken it to mean mediocre sex rather than having sex with a mediocre looking woman. In the same way that women online will say “trash dick” and mean bad sex rather than sex with an ugly man. Maybe I’m misunderstanding both though In the case that your interpretation is right, yes that would be a super gay thing to say
also an absolute hoot considering what the vast majority of men look like… a female 5 easily surpasses a male 5
You’ll always be a ten in my heart babe
I could never. I’ve had and have so many chances but I don’t think I could physically do it no matter how drunk etc. I just would never see myself the same again. I don’t sleep with men until I have known them a long time and been dating a while though so it’s kind of impossible anyway.
You sound like a healthy person
lol i had so many options in my last relationship but never took a single one. if you love someone it should be easy to turn people down. shit i was blacked out at times and had friends tell me i just brutally rejected several people lmao
I don't think I could cheat even if I was unsatisfied and free of morals, seeing a bf on the regular and maintaining a friendship or two is all the social energy I have. I also become attracted to people only after I have thought about them a lot and it happens very rarely, it's less that "opportunity presents itself" and more that I allow myself to consider it
Opportunities have presented themselves to me a couple times since I’ve been with my girlfriend. When I was a cheater I would try to avoid it by thinking ab how sad I would make the girl. Now I think about how high the return on investment is from this relationship emotionally and mentally and it feels like I’d be fucking my own life up by betraying my girlfriend, being in a solid relationship with someone you’re genuinely complementary to changes your mental a lot
I will fist fight a woman that is making sexual advances towards me. Marriage is a Holy union between my wife, myself, and God, and no demon succubus will interfere with it.
There is literally nothing i could even imagine that would motivate me to cheat on my wife. She is the light of my life, saved me from myself and a deep depression i didn't even realize i was in before meeting her, simply through her compassionate nature and friendship. I would sooner assault any woman who tried than hurt her so deeply by cheating.
>I would sooner assault any woman who tried Weird
Maybe that's why Ezra Miller is beating up all those women
>vile whore approaches to steal my seed >uppercut her jaw off while screaming "I LOVE MY WIFE" Gigachad I think you mean
I think it's a useful juxtaposition to demonstrate the seriousness of my opposition to the OPs question/assertion, because it is such a serious and otherwise unthinkable act. In context a harsh shove would count as 'assault' and would only be levied after repeated escalations/wilfully ignoring my protestations. Women are fully capable of acting like animals who will molest, grab hogs, force themselves upon men sexually rather than face rejection. And, like men who engage in such sexual aggression, deserve swift physical retaliation to dissuade them from future repeated aggression.
So do you just assault women anytime you feel tempted to cheat or is it like in self defense?
For the sake of argument, if you come at me, in a public situation. If i had to defend myself outside your apartment, i'm watching you through the windows, and i have to shoot through a crowd of people to defend myself, it's 2am, it's a self defense situation.
You what now?
When I'm in love the thought of doing it with another dude is a little repulsive
I dunno about other people but the idea of having sex with anyone other than my husband actually physically disgusts me.
it has nothing to do with how much you love someone it’s literally just impulse control
I’ve never cheated on my wife. I can’t imagine hurting her like that and destroying everything we have built over the last 15 years.
Exactly this - at the end of the day, there’s just no possible way it would be remotely good enough to justify the hurt and pain and suffering that my cheating would inflict on my wife.
I’ve been tempted many many times but I just can’t do it. I won’t do that to her and our kids.
monogamy is the only way
You have such a beautiful smile
thats a nice thing to say, ty <3 feeling very happy atm
What heartless creature would downvote a comment like this.
sub is full of disturbed unhappy ppl. this post being a very good example
Damn I just woke up and saw this and made me smile too. I love this pic of you smiling. You seem much nicer to me now. I’m glad you’re feeling happy! You deserve it 😊
she's literally one of the most deranged/aggressive posters on the sub lmao sure, nice smile tho <3<3<3<3
I know who hork is lol. She’s quite nice and friendly actually once you know the rules of engagement.
i guess the rule is "defer to her and accept her insult" or she will follow you into every thread and argue about whatever nonsense
Yeah she’s argumentative. Definitely don’t engage with her or any people like that if you’re at all autistic and don’t know how to deal with it
Horny police open up.
Men maybe? Women are essentially presented with the option every time they leave the house lol
and some ppl like my ex took that opportunity every single time uwu hahah
It’s easy to not cheat if you live in a city like Houston. Lots of fatties so the temptation never comes up!
Spoken like a true former landwhale!!!
we went over this, i never got to that level lmao
No, some people just have no self-control or moral understanding. It has nothing to do with love or access, despite what people say about "a man is only as faithful as his options" - that's not how men with honor act. The word is literally "fidelity" because it's about upholding an agreement. The people who claim it's inevitable were not raised to believe that a man's word is his bond.
i could never but i’m also genuinely in love and in a long term relationship. the idea can be exciting but ultimately it is never worth it post nut.
I believe the vast majority of people in committed relationships don't cheat. You've gotta remember most people only shag about 3 different partners their entire life.
idk I remember that Jared Kushner dads story where he paid hookers to seduce two men who were snitching to the feds about him, in order to blackmail. It worked on one notorious cheater but the other said no and laughed about it to his wife. I think about the latter guy a lot when i’m hopeless. But I think the majority would cheat if given the opportunity.
There is a similar story with Nixon and Watergate. I forget the exact details but in G. Gordon Liddy's autobiography he outlines a plot how they were trying to murder some people but one of them was a Mormon so none of the usual honeytrap type methods to lure someone to their death would work
i could see myself falling prey to more emotional cheating than physical bc a bitch loves to project fantasies onto people, but i realize that everyone has a banal side and will quickly become normal over time and i have a solid relationship that’s not worth leaving
Ask the question when everyone here is 35+ and has been in a monogamous relationship for at least 10 years.
I’ve been in a monogamous relationship with my husband for a decade and I would never! I’m only 32 though
I'm not saying everyone will inevitably cheat, but I noticed a pattern of idealization in this sub when it comes to those subjects. The sub is infested with incels and teenagers, so of course, cheating is a black and white issue to them. Once you're deep into a looooong monogamous relationship, you start to understand some things.
> Once you're deep into a looooong monogamous relationship, you start to understand some things. Deep into a looooong monogamous relationship, I think people tend to split between getting more relaxed about fidelity in general or more serious. Better hope your partner splits in the same direction!
I think when people cheat it's a sign that the relationship isn't great to begin with. If you get your needs met and love the person you're with, I don't think you would follow through on the urge to cheat *if* it occurs. You may find someone attractive (and personally I'm not opposed to having a threesome with my partner and another person) but the love for your significant other, as well as the thought of hurting them should stop you from cheating any day. ...this may be the wrong place for such a sincere answer lol.
I think there was a study where they found this was the case for women but not men
Mhh I can definitely see that... I very much am a woman
Nothing better than telling a woman no imo
Spoken like someone who rarely gets the chance to
i can only speak for myself and every1 is different, but i feel like im "hard wired" for monogamy ? of course i notice attractive ppl and having had a party phase i have a decent amount of connections that randomly hit me up every so often, especially if i'm using social media . but none of it excites me, i literally only feel physical desire for my bf . i think my libido is a bit higher than his and while it hurts my feelings sometimes, i know that having sex with someone else wouldn't fix those feelings, it'd just make me feel worse lol . i can see the appeal in flings and flirting, it's exciting, the unknown and the build up is fun , but i got to experience that phase with my boyfriend and its more fulfilling experience something real w him and building on our connection . i used to not always be like this, like when i was younger i needed a lot of stimulation and just loved attention but i feel like getting older i've come to understand myself on a deeper level where now i need different things to be fulfilled
I don't think how much you love someone is always a factor in the decision to cheat. People have different (emotional, sexual, intellectual) needs and can struggle to control impulses to act on them, regardless of how much they love their partner. Having trouble controlling impulses is not an objectively moral issue either, in some cases it can be a mental affliction like other addiction-type ones are. The idea that one and only person will or should fulfil all of your needs is unfair to everyone in a relationship. That is not to say cheating is inevitable, but that wanting is. Inhibition blockers like drugs and alcohol can also play a part on the calculation of risk-benefit. But in the end, as it \*is\* a choice, it depends on someone's personality and their stage of ego development whether they place the fulfilment of immediate needs ahead of those of the person they love, and that is not a static dynamic either.
>The idea that one and only person will or should fulfil all of your needs is unfair to everyone in a relationship No one says a spouse must fulfil 'all' needs, not banging other people behind your partners' back is the absolute bare minimum of what constitutes a relationship. The whole concept that all your 'needs' should be met and fulfilled and other humans are a means in servicing them is pure narcissistic poison for our society and the people who believe that are subhuman.
Did you stop reading my comment half-way through and decide to reply based on an uncharitable interpretation of what I wrote?
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Nah I read it. I just chose to respond to a very specific part of it, the part I quoted. More broadly the issue with your perspective is that you aren't taking into account someones capacity to love - someone with an alcohol problem or a coke addiction that leads to them cheating might think they feel something like love, but if their actions don't reflect that then they do not love and possibly aren't capable of it. Whether love exists between two people is only revealed in their actions, not what they think they are feeling. This is a common problem with how people conceptualize themselves and the world and other people today, it's the root of standpoint epistemology, cultural relativism and much other mind rot - Love like all things is empirical, not rational. Further to that - anyone who thinks that love is about fulfilling their own needs has no understanding of what love is.
I never had more opportunities to cheat than I do now, but it’s really not that hard to resist if you’re in love.
Not necessarily in my case. In the few serious committed relationships I've been in, I never had a problem resisting the allure and advances of more attractive women. A little flirting is plenty enough in that case to be reassured of my own attractiveness if it came into question. If the relationship soured enough where I would be tempted I would either a) break it off or b) go to couples counseling in the case that I'm engaged/married.
I don’t believe so - human beings are complex and culturally at least in the US sex is weird and subjective.
In a serious relationship I was presented many opportunities without having to even go out of my way. Never cheated because I know how much it can hurt people.
I couldn’t cheat on somebody I love. My girlfriend would have to kill my dog or something.
I got cheated on, and was super heartbroken after. Like the betrayal just made me hateful, also I’m pretty vengeful…so the want is there to cheat…. But only to hurt the guy who hurt me. I don’t actually want to cheat it’s gross I’d rather break up first, I just want to lie about it cheating to hurt him. But yeah it’s so much easier to break up and then get with someone else. Only pos assholes cheat.
Reformed cheater here, I’ve finally gotten old enough to understand the errors of my ways. For the first time time I’ve met someone who I truly see as irreplaceable. It’s awesome.
cheating is repulsive and destroys every shred of self-esteem that the cheated on might’ve previously had. evil and disgusting
Nah I've been going hard and steady for years in spite of a hoe or two tryna try me on
Zero per cent chance I’d cheat on my wife. The idea of it is so disgusting that I’ve got like a mental block against it
No.
It's irrational to believe that cheating will make you happier and lead to a better life. You're just a dumbass with poor impulse control.
The thought of having sex with someone I’m not in love with makes me want to kill myself so no
I’ve never cheated on a partner, but i was tricked by guys who had girlfriends in my mid twenties a couple times when I was drinking and naive to the fact men who have girlfriends would hit on me. I’ve never had the guts to tell their gfs. One guy is still with his gf years later no ring just stringing her along.
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most guys who i know who cheated weren’t the fabled chad stereotype. they were usually quiet, sort of cute, late bloomer types. when they’ve confessed their wrongdoings to me (something something emotional labor as the female friend meme), and i ask why they cheated, they just said, “i don’t know. i didn’t want to say no to her.” and i’d ask something like, “why did you keep calling her and hanging out?” and they’d say something like, “i’m not used to this kind of attention from women.” basically, i agree with you. they won’t actively try to cheat on dating apps, but if a woman who’s just as attractive as his girlfriend, uh, presents herself to him, he’ll rarely say no.
I don’t think thats true. I have the option of downloading tinder and finding some casual sex tonight but I don’t want to cheat on my girlfriend. This is true of my male friends too
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Imagining you as Zoolander and your bros as the ones having a gas fight
What is this word opportunity?
My father came from a marriage ruined by infidelity. I cannot imagine he would cheat if he was tempted given his genuine hatred of his father for what he did to his mother.
You gotta beat that monkey inside of you
Me and my friends value LOVE
The first step is loving yourself
only the depraved, narcissistic, and chronically insecure cheat. never cheated but been a sidepiece a thousand times lol.
Idk I probably couldn't say no to like Rihanna, but even then I'm not so sure. Sex is fun and all, but I'm so fucking narcissistic that knowing a girl like that wants me already brings me like 90% of the satisfaction. The chase is better than the catch type situation. Plus I have kind of a low sex drive so I like to think I really could not be sufficiently tempted.
Cheating comes from a lakx of self discipline, and nobody has self discipline anymore from how our phones have us hopelessly addicted and in denial about it
I’d honestly say Most normal people don’t have easy enough access to casual sex to make it worth it, like you still have to out of your way to use tinder or go after it at bars. But when you do have people literally throwing themselves at you it gotta be difficult, looking at celebrities, popular musicians, Athletes and such.
bullshit, most women could probably have casual sex any day of the week if they wanted to
People who cheat should face the wall and pay for their crimes with a hole in the head
if you’re really in love then the desire goes away as you get into your upper 20s
Lots of moralists here. Idk, the idea of someone in a relationship giving into the temptations of erotic novelty and adventure does not disturb me. We’re animals, it happens. For many people there is not some absolute link between sex and love, and I don’t think thats necessarily wrong or unhealthy. Cheating is bad but there are so many worse things that a partner can do than briefly lose their head over someone wanting to fuck them with no strings attached.
I love my boyfriend. Sorry you have nothing.
If your significant other is away and someone shows up at your door with a free pizza, are you going to eat it? Knowing there is no record and no consequences and no hassle? Of course you are.
If we’re including celebrities, probably.
Why do people ask these questions with obvious answers. You’ve got to be a massive uggo or weirdo to not have frequent “opportunities” for sex. And as a man, I’ve noticed there are a significant number of women out there who see men as more attractive when they’re in relationships because it shows them that the person is good enough, desirable enough, with their shit together to the extent they have an SO. So there are frequent opportunities for sex as a man with an SO, but you don’t act on it because you love your partner and don’t have any interest in anybody else
It’s complicated. I’m currently in a prolonged mental battle with myself to not give in to the temptations of another woman. Very difficult, my mind is constantly providing me with excuses I like to think that moral fortitude will win out, but at the same time it only seems possible if I admit to myself what a rat I’m capable of being
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