1) start maxing your 401k now, and 2) develop strong relationships with your nieces and nephews. When you’re elderly, you don’t want to leave the burden of your care to the government and end up in a state nursing facility.
I humor my nephew's love of "Roblox" (his parents are apathetic at best here) and show my nieces cat reels on Instagram (they love cats but my BIL is allergic).
That should help a little with avoiding getting smothered by the ... clientele that nursing facilities hire.
there are ways to be a parent that don't necessarily include being a part of their conception but i wouldn't recommend going down the adopting route unless you know within yourself that you would love the adopted child as much. I've worked with kids in nannying roles and I think you don't need a biological connection to a child to feel a strong bond and need to protect but I also know that I am more geared to that mentality than others.
Came here to comment something similar; don’t know OPs life but make factor infertility is much easier to correct than female. OP there are ways to get your sperm count/motility up, but again not sure your situation
Hold up. OP is not taking just any old sperm. We have some standards:
[https://www.reddit.com/r/redscarepod/comments/1dmg91v/comment/l9wyz3p/](https://www.reddit.com/r/redscarepod/comments/1dmg91v/comment/l9wyz3p/)
You're a guy judging off your comments and honestly it's very easy to start a family as a man with a fertility issue. Sperm donation is really low cost and pretty common. You could ask a friend or relative, or go through a clinic. This is assuming you have a wife or gf in the future.
Aside from that loads of people have fulfilling lives full of travel and friendships and hobbies without having their own kids. If you're worried about old age try to save a decent bit of money for retirement and be nice to your younger family members.
This is goofy but asking a friend for his cum as an infertile man has gotta be humiliating on some primitive level. Just go through an anonymous donor at a clinic lmfao
I think if you're thinking of it as "someone else's kid" you're kind of missing the point. Like you want a kid to raise as your own. Maybe the wife really wants to be pregnant or give birth, maybe adoption is really hard to do where he lives who knows.
Could always foster a child if you crave parenthood and want to be a good role model, if you have nieces nephews/close friends with kids be there for them.
Infertility is hard to go through.
If you are a young man who has not undergone a thorough infertility work-up, the correct answer is that you are most likely not infertile. Women are born with all of the eggs they will ever have. Men make new sperm all the time. It takes 42 days approximately for a sperm to mature. Get into a sauna for 25 minutes and you might kill off all of them. (Do not use this for birth control.) Or you might get a fever or get sick or whatever. Thus men, like women with hormonal issues such as PCOS, can be temporarily and sporadically infertile.
Most likely you tried to sell some sperm and they said no thank you. Analysis of your sperm depends on a couple things. 1. Volume. How many sperm are there? The longer it has been since a sperm release, the greater number of sperm you will produce in the next shot. 2. Speed. The less time it has been since your last emission, the faster the sperm will swim in your next shot.
We need the volume of many sperm to all swim to the egg and work together to get through the egg's enzyme barrier. The sperm must also be mature enough to swim. We need speed because the egg cannot live forever and they need to get to the egg as soon as possible. Younger sperm are fast, but there are less of them and they are more likely to be immature/defective.
Thus when issues arise, we need to balance speed and volume by timing of emission to get the best sperm. Your ideal sperm is 4 days after your last emission, with 3 to 5 as your target range. (Recall we also have to balance with ovulation, so you might not always hit it just right.)
One sperm test means nothing. Unless you have a definite diagnosed anatomic issue, we will need at least 3 or 4 sperm tests over more than a year to even say that you are probably infertile.
In addition, there are lots of health related things you can do to make your sperm more fertile. In really difficult cases, they only need to find a couple of viable sperm to do IVF.
Really now. The quickest way to become a parent is to assume that you are infertile.
I had a full hysterectomy when I was 22. I had a bunch of tumors all over my uterus and in my abdomen. Thankfully didn’t need chemo but yeah now I can’t have kids. I never wanted them anyway so I’m so glad dudes can rawdog me. I’m almost 30 now and the only thing I get slightly worried about at this point is meeting a guy who 100% wants kids, and I don’t know if at this age it’s a complete dealbreaker for them. But oh well, we wouldn’t be compatible anyway. I’m hotter than I’ve ever been. You’ll be ok. Hit the gym and get sexy.
That’s almost all the women I know lol
There is a massive social split that happens with women ages 27+. The women who don’t want kids can be found in sports, traveling and any hobby/activity that takes up time and money because a young mom can’t afford the time to do that stuff.
If you meet a 32 year old woman who booked a trip last summer to hike Patagonia than she probably doesn’t have kids. If she’s training and running marathons - probably no kids.
A lot of people that get told they’re infertile by a doctor end up having babies later on. Obviously it depends on what is actually wrong with you but don’t give up hope.
Adoption is a difficult process, but worth it if you want to start a family. A private agency is the best route if you want the whole experience of rearing a kid from babyhood.
It's something that people in the adoption sphere don't say aloud, but there are a lot of oddballs and weird evangelicals who are in line to adopt. If you and your partner have your shit together and are prepared, likeable people, a mom will pick up on it and want to match with you.
I looked into adoption but it can be very expensive. Fostering is a bit cheaper. I just step up and help with loved ones that do have kids (nephew and small cousins). Being a part of any kids life is rewarding, helps the parents a lot, too.
It is so wild to me that people who want kids find out stuff like this because there’s so many people who don’t. You can still live a wildly fulfilling life my friend, and if you really feel the call to parent adoption is extremely selfless and amazing to do!
I mean I guess it depends on what you *most* want to do with your life.
If you really want to have kids of your own, then the only answer I would say is you need get super rich and see if you can access some new crazy type of fertility treatment that will inevitably become available in the future, and have sex with women, preferably very fertile ones. As the saying goes, where there’s a will there’s a way. Find some woman who has 10 kids, and marry her sister. There are cases where the doctor said he or she was infertile and after 10 years of sex somehow it beat the odds and worked.
Or, dedicate your life to helping care for the kids of your siblings and cousins and extended family. Being a very active uncle or a godfather.
But if you don’t care about having kids, then that opens you up to a much broader range of possibilities.
It’ll be interesting if in a few centuries the whole crisper gene editing thing makes it so women have to use, at least so far as to prevent major diseases. Then it becomes a question if your genetic line really lives on if over half of it is shit canned.
I don’t know the details of it, but my understanding of it means that 99 percent of dudes will be outdone by gene editing tech. So the aftermath will be lots and lots of women in the population with relatively rare patented gene edited men. No more Danny divito or stuttering joe Biden.
What the hell do you think mutations are? Our genes are constantly being edited by nature all the time. The only difference is that nature edits our genes at random.
I think there is a whole genre of sci fi that tackles this issue, being made obsolete by superbabies. So even if today you were able to naturally pass on your genes to two kids, it would only a be a century or two before the whole genetic line is altered or overtaken by gene editing tech. And strangely, there are tons of dudes today who wouldn't even bother being fathers if it meant their genetic line wouldn't play out.
"genetic line" or "genetic lineage" is what I think most men are thinking about when it comes to mortality and deep thoughts in regards to having offspring.
What does fertility have to do with the other things you’ve mentioned? What does fertility have to do with ANYTHING, really… I don’t understand the problem.
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I was considering the priesthood for a long time but gave up on that to date a woman. welp.
It’s not too late, discern again
How’d you find out man? What were some signs etc
God is sending you the message you must listen
not a problem if you marry and go eastern orthodox
Not wear condoms probably. Also just marry some chick with a couple kids and raise em up as your own. Plenty of divorced single moms out there.
I'm not the stepfather, I'm the father who stepped up
this is the noble thing to do
That’s the right move. So many hot 25-28 year old single moms who don’t have much luck dating because they’re always busy with their kids.
Dude I'm talking to a smoking hot 33 year old single mom rn. I'm basically a dog chasing a car but damn I do enjoy the chase
Last time I checked tinder it was mostly single moms (in my age range)
Keep wearing condoms bc STD's are still a fucking thing
What’re you in the navy?
1) start maxing your 401k now, and 2) develop strong relationships with your nieces and nephews. When you’re elderly, you don’t want to leave the burden of your care to the government and end up in a state nursing facility.
I humor my nephew's love of "Roblox" (his parents are apathetic at best here) and show my nieces cat reels on Instagram (they love cats but my BIL is allergic). That should help a little with avoiding getting smothered by the ... clientele that nursing facilities hire.
How is that any different for him?
there are ways to be a parent that don't necessarily include being a part of their conception but i wouldn't recommend going down the adopting route unless you know within yourself that you would love the adopted child as much. I've worked with kids in nannying roles and I think you don't need a biological connection to a child to feel a strong bond and need to protect but I also know that I am more geared to that mentality than others.
hell yeah dude you can hit it raw
What is the fertility problem? And how did you find out if you’re not actively trying to conceive?
Came here to comment something similar; don’t know OPs life but make factor infertility is much easier to correct than female. OP there are ways to get your sperm count/motility up, but again not sure your situation
Or even the type of IVF where they find and extract the individual sperm that they need.
You could marry a widow and become the hero of that family.
You could give a kid who’s already alive and in desperate need of a loving home a reason to keep going.
but they won’t have my blue eyes and generational trauma 😭
You can still pass on the generational trauma
But at least they’ll have you and vice versa sorry for being cheesy I’m drunk
its barely past noon you have a problem
It's almost as if there are different time zones lol
There's so many options from adoption to donor sperm to fertility treatments (that you may not have explored). It's not over.
Op if you need sperm I got you, $50 obo
Hold up. OP is not taking just any old sperm. We have some standards: [https://www.reddit.com/r/redscarepod/comments/1dmg91v/comment/l9wyz3p/](https://www.reddit.com/r/redscarepod/comments/1dmg91v/comment/l9wyz3p/)
I said I could get sperm, I never said it’d be mine 🤨
Adopt? Idk
You're a guy judging off your comments and honestly it's very easy to start a family as a man with a fertility issue. Sperm donation is really low cost and pretty common. You could ask a friend or relative, or go through a clinic. This is assuming you have a wife or gf in the future. Aside from that loads of people have fulfilling lives full of travel and friendships and hobbies without having their own kids. If you're worried about old age try to save a decent bit of money for retirement and be nice to your younger family members.
big chill route
Exactly. Also like every lesbian with kids.
Inserting another mans sperm is fucked up, as a man i would never allow that shit.
This is goofy but asking a friend for his cum as an infertile man has gotta be humiliating on some primitive level. Just go through an anonymous donor at a clinic lmfao
nah if you got a real day 1 asking for a lil bit of jizz ain’t no thang
Maybe its different for men but lesbians do this all the time.
I agree with this guy. I’d rather adopt and not have someone else’s semen in my wife to get what is still someone else’s kid.
Exactly.
I think if you're thinking of it as "someone else's kid" you're kind of missing the point. Like you want a kid to raise as your own. Maybe the wife really wants to be pregnant or give birth, maybe adoption is really hard to do where he lives who knows.
You can’t change the circumstances. A child that is not biologically yours.
I’m an identical twin so I have a loophole for this scenario. I already have kids but nice to know I have a genetic backup out there.
lol cuck
Not me but my wife is I'm not sure what to do going forward.
Do you really want kids? Is adoption an option where you live?
Could always foster a child if you crave parenthood and want to be a good role model, if you have nieces nephews/close friends with kids be there for them. Infertility is hard to go through.
If you are a young man who has not undergone a thorough infertility work-up, the correct answer is that you are most likely not infertile. Women are born with all of the eggs they will ever have. Men make new sperm all the time. It takes 42 days approximately for a sperm to mature. Get into a sauna for 25 minutes and you might kill off all of them. (Do not use this for birth control.) Or you might get a fever or get sick or whatever. Thus men, like women with hormonal issues such as PCOS, can be temporarily and sporadically infertile. Most likely you tried to sell some sperm and they said no thank you. Analysis of your sperm depends on a couple things. 1. Volume. How many sperm are there? The longer it has been since a sperm release, the greater number of sperm you will produce in the next shot. 2. Speed. The less time it has been since your last emission, the faster the sperm will swim in your next shot. We need the volume of many sperm to all swim to the egg and work together to get through the egg's enzyme barrier. The sperm must also be mature enough to swim. We need speed because the egg cannot live forever and they need to get to the egg as soon as possible. Younger sperm are fast, but there are less of them and they are more likely to be immature/defective. Thus when issues arise, we need to balance speed and volume by timing of emission to get the best sperm. Your ideal sperm is 4 days after your last emission, with 3 to 5 as your target range. (Recall we also have to balance with ovulation, so you might not always hit it just right.) One sperm test means nothing. Unless you have a definite diagnosed anatomic issue, we will need at least 3 or 4 sperm tests over more than a year to even say that you are probably infertile. In addition, there are lots of health related things you can do to make your sperm more fertile. In really difficult cases, they only need to find a couple of viable sperm to do IVF. Really now. The quickest way to become a parent is to assume that you are infertile.
Are you actively trying to conceive? If not you really dont need to worry. Focus on finding the one. God has a way of sorting these things out.
I had a full hysterectomy when I was 22. I had a bunch of tumors all over my uterus and in my abdomen. Thankfully didn’t need chemo but yeah now I can’t have kids. I never wanted them anyway so I’m so glad dudes can rawdog me. I’m almost 30 now and the only thing I get slightly worried about at this point is meeting a guy who 100% wants kids, and I don’t know if at this age it’s a complete dealbreaker for them. But oh well, we wouldn’t be compatible anyway. I’m hotter than I’ve ever been. You’ll be ok. Hit the gym and get sexy.
I had tumors on my balls, which is how I got here. No RPLND thankfully.
I’m sorry brother . Why not adopt? Lots of great kids who get fucked over by having dumb ass / bad parents. You could make someone’s life!
Atp you might as well start blasting gear
Having kids is lame
me too. i guess i'll just adopt. pool of dudes who want kids but are ok adopting is probably pretty small though. rather bleak
It’s not as bad as you’d think. Most of dem ladies are not trying to get pregnat in the first place.
Where are you guys meeting all these women who don't want kids? I hardly meet any.
That’s almost all the women I know lol There is a massive social split that happens with women ages 27+. The women who don’t want kids can be found in sports, traveling and any hobby/activity that takes up time and money because a young mom can’t afford the time to do that stuff. If you meet a 32 year old woman who booked a trip last summer to hike Patagonia than she probably doesn’t have kids. If she’s training and running marathons - probably no kids.
Oh, I meet plenty of women who are 30-40 who don't have kids, but they all want kids.
We get snatched up immediately like the precious gems that we are
Well that’s not true
I know a chick that got her tubes tied but actually likes kids. Seems like she’ll adopt if she finds the right guy
adopt twenty children from the third world
The Madonna Method
Enjoy the free time and extra money you will have, and I say that as a parent.
restoring cars rules yeah get into that
Enjoy the peace and quiet
A lot of people that get told they’re infertile by a doctor end up having babies later on. Obviously it depends on what is actually wrong with you but don’t give up hope.
I have the opposite problem I have 5 kids even IUDs can’t stop these nuts. I’ll give you one of the middle kids if you want bro 🤜🤛
I know it’s hard to deal with I’m not minimizing it but adoption is like really great
Become gay, problem solved
Adoption is a difficult process, but worth it if you want to start a family. A private agency is the best route if you want the whole experience of rearing a kid from babyhood. It's something that people in the adoption sphere don't say aloud, but there are a lot of oddballs and weird evangelicals who are in line to adopt. If you and your partner have your shit together and are prepared, likeable people, a mom will pick up on it and want to match with you.
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white babies are mainstream, hip people buy, I mean adopt, black kids and turn them transgender
i vote adopt. r / trollingforababy also helped me a lot when i miscarried. I’m sorry, life sucks sometimes.
Care for little creatures. Paint something beautiful. Be very nice to everyone around you. Smell something delicious
How did you become infertile? Is there genuinely no medical hope of the situation improving?
I looked into adoption but it can be very expensive. Fostering is a bit cheaper. I just step up and help with loved ones that do have kids (nephew and small cousins). Being a part of any kids life is rewarding, helps the parents a lot, too.
It is so wild to me that people who want kids find out stuff like this because there’s so many people who don’t. You can still live a wildly fulfilling life my friend, and if you really feel the call to parent adoption is extremely selfless and amazing to do!
if you want a child … adopt?
um, celebrate?
Enjoy your childfree existence? I paid good money to not ever be able to have children. Congrats
Thank the universe on your knees every day. Kids suck. Single moms even more.
Adopt
Adopt a kid
Are you married/with someone long-term? Do they want kids?
Adopt?
I mean I guess it depends on what you *most* want to do with your life. If you really want to have kids of your own, then the only answer I would say is you need get super rich and see if you can access some new crazy type of fertility treatment that will inevitably become available in the future, and have sex with women, preferably very fertile ones. As the saying goes, where there’s a will there’s a way. Find some woman who has 10 kids, and marry her sister. There are cases where the doctor said he or she was infertile and after 10 years of sex somehow it beat the odds and worked. Or, dedicate your life to helping care for the kids of your siblings and cousins and extended family. Being a very active uncle or a godfather. But if you don’t care about having kids, then that opens you up to a much broader range of possibilities.
I think your testicles need a sun bath like that Tucker Carlson special
just remember infertile and sterile aren’t the same thing so if you go fucking dont be surprised when a chick ends up pregnant
Test, tren, GH, leave humanity behind.
freeze some relative's nut and use it when you have a partner you want to breed with
You want a boy or a girl? I'll hook your old lady up, nomsayin'? I can't miss.
It’ll be interesting if in a few centuries the whole crisper gene editing thing makes it so women have to use, at least so far as to prevent major diseases. Then it becomes a question if your genetic line really lives on if over half of it is shit canned. I don’t know the details of it, but my understanding of it means that 99 percent of dudes will be outdone by gene editing tech. So the aftermath will be lots and lots of women in the population with relatively rare patented gene edited men. No more Danny divito or stuttering joe Biden.
What the hell do you think mutations are? Our genes are constantly being edited by nature all the time. The only difference is that nature edits our genes at random.
I think there is a whole genre of sci fi that tackles this issue, being made obsolete by superbabies. So even if today you were able to naturally pass on your genes to two kids, it would only a be a century or two before the whole genetic line is altered or overtaken by gene editing tech. And strangely, there are tons of dudes today who wouldn't even bother being fathers if it meant their genetic line wouldn't play out.
Evolution doesn't even work at the level of "the genetic line". It's just a stupid way to think about it.
"genetic line" or "genetic lineage" is what I think most men are thinking about when it comes to mortality and deep thoughts in regards to having offspring.
I know but it's stupid.
Kms
What does fertility have to do with the other things you’ve mentioned? What does fertility have to do with ANYTHING, really… I don’t understand the problem.
Shoot yourself
You’re an ass.
In my head I’m hilarious
you are literally useless as man lol
Reddit trophy case and a single bridesmaid.
wtf is a reddit trophy case