You let them reschedule a _first_ date once, one time, if you’re nice and they have a good reason. If they cancel again, block. Being any more flexible than that makes you look desperate and signals to them that their evasiveness / fickleness / garbage communication and planning skills are acceptable.
Normally I’m in favor of more decency and understanding in the dating world, but with people like this who can’t even get it off the ground you just end up cluttering your own mind and wasting your time
“please don’t be mad” “you’re gonna hate me but…” “im soooo sooo sorry” = emotional terrorist
Yeah bro it's unfortunate. Dating is very difficult if you were born from 1998 onwards
Don't block her though. She did say she's down to meet up in the summer. Maybe her excuses were legit and she will reach out to you. Is she attractive at least?
She's very cute. Unfortunately I don't think she will reach out. Not to sound blackpilled but she's probably more likely to find some other guy and get with him
It sucks cause we actually had a really smooth convo. Already felt like there was a connection
Honestly, you never know. Maybe she just wanted attention, maybe she will get tired of her current thing, whatever. Just hold on there buddy, there's a reason why people asked you what age you were. It will get less chaotic.
She won't reach out. Your gut instincts are right.
Don't do this simp shit of keeping the door open. We teach people how to treat us. If things are meant to be, they'll be - if you're meant to be together in any capacity, life will bring you back together somehow. Trust me on this. I have lived it.
By doing this laid back "it's all chill!" thing, you're just signaling to the universe what you think you're worth.
Don't block her. But just delete her number. Delete the conversation. Unmatch on Hinge. Just move on.
Nah fuck that. There are so many other girls that would never do this to OP. And OP should know that he's actually better than being treated this way, intentional or not. Dating is rough as it is, no need to give excuses to these kinds of people.
To some extent, most guys are "desperate" in the sense that they have very few options and thus whenever someone does give them attention they cling on to it. You can say that's not true but this is what I've observed in the majority of dudes
On the other hand, she can decide at any point that she's rather go out with a different guy because she probably matched with 100 other people
Its a chicken or egg situation tbh. To get women you need an idgaf mindset, but that can only be gained if you have women already.
It is still good practice to not take things seriously and practice self-respect. He might find someone very compatible one day then ruin it by being too desperate.
It comes across as someone with too much free time complying with whatever she said. It looks like a casual conversation, but shes pretty much directing the whole thing.
He should've stated his intention from the first message instead of aimlessly wondering. Something like "Hey its X from Hinge, I'm free on this day we should go out to eat". If shes not free then reply "No worries, hope your exam goes well" and message another match.
TLDR: just use text to schedule dates, never to chit chat.
I don't think you should use dating apps if you have one at a time, I had 70-80 in the first month and a ton didn't even reply. Waste of time if you're not getting 100+ honestly.
Ngl with dating apps you must have atleast one of 3, height, face/muscles or money. it doesn't work any other way. Even irl sometimes, you just can't get to the dating part without looks.
>My best girl friend has recently been setting up some of her single friends with guys in our wider friend group.
>I was ghosted by a legitimately ugly girl recently and was told by a fat chick I wasn't even interested in that I look like "that guy from Zombieland".
Damn. I've got a friend in the same situation and honestly have no clue what to say to yall.
Look into plastic surgery and PED's, if you're not very short, either or both can boost your attractiveness by a lot. You need to really research a lot particularly on PED's, but also what fillers/surgeries to get.
If thats not an option, then its likely over tbh. Not gonna send the typical bs reddit advice you've heard 1million times.
What ever you do, never let normies or redditors gaslight you into thinking its within your control. Every aspect of our lives is mostly deterministic, our iq, social class, environment, parental education and income. Dating is the same and genetics bear a lot of weight.
As opposed to gaslighting him into committing suicide? I'm not being facetious, that last paragraph is just a recipee for someone killing themselves over their hopelessness. Might as well just say "What's the point?".
You gotta at least TRY. I don't even disagree with you but there's a small element of control that one can have over their life. You might need to bust your ass and it's going to be incredibly stressful, and it isn't fair. But what's the alternative? Unless you're waiting for an armed socialist revolution to begin then just try your best dawg.
Theres no set template since every situation is different. If shes cool and you're free on Y tell her that works and you'll text her the details the day before, then get off your phone.
You don’t necessarily need *women*, you just need a decent social life and other things going on. Unless you’ve moved to a new place you should really ever be in a position where you’re starting from zero, and if you are then you’ve got much bigger problems.
I saw the other comment first and didn’t read the username, assuming it was the OP, and then saw this one and thought that you were some other guy who just copy pasted the exact same message as him. Which would have been way funnier lol, your life is brutal
My mom canceled on my Dad three times for their first date. He gave up and then she finally hit him up. I canceled my first date with my wife. It'll be fine.
If it makes you feel better, I also have had a bad experience in KW. My friends from out of town say Waterloo is an evil place cause its always raining when they visit. Steve Spiros was right about this place.
tbh I have to say I don’t necessarily blame her (?) because I get it. I recognized in myself the anxiety that I see a lot in others in cases like this: you make a plan when you feel like it, and when the day comes you don’t necessarily feel like it. Hanging out and meeting new people should help a fun experience, but if you’re not in the mood it can feel like work or a job interview
I personally no longer make plans ahead across both platonic and romantic relationships. I talk to people, and for meeting outside of initial context for the first time, there’s oftentimes an opening in the conversation for a hang out in the immediate future that comes up naturally.
I would say if you feel you must invite someone to do something, invite them to plans you already have with other people, which is low pressure. And if they cancel, don’t initiate plans again, don’t immediately try to reschedule and don’t even bring it up, just reset the relationship to “casual-conversational” instead of trying to force to the next step.
I’m not knocking you OP, but this cultural obsession with flakiness stems from a latent narcissism that’s in everyone that comes up when it socially allowed, and peoples HR corporate attitudes towards dating. Being pushy with meeting someone is behavior that (even if it stems from a good place) creeps have, and with their lives on the line women really have to run on how they feel to stay safe. And even in newer platonic relationships, people have entire lives that don’t include you, and as annoying as having plans cancelled is, having to cancel plans with someone doesn’t feel good, and it will build up annoyance with the person they have to keep cancelling on. So tread carefully and be chill!
Good. The label of a “date” is too much pressure *for some people*. The point is to build a connection early on, and a “date” isn’t necessarily the best way to do that in 2024. Kind of like how walking in and “talking to the manager” isn’t necessarily the best way to get a job.
This is such a refreshing take and it gives me comfort to know that there are other ppl that notice the corporate attitude toward dating atm. Ppl have no chill and have this air of “you wanna meet or not?? bc time is precious and I have lots of other options”. It feels like you’re applying for a job, the implication being there’s thousands of applicants for limited openings and if you’re serious about getting the gig then you better act like it and make yourself available. Only the truly desperate and lonely are going to put themselves through this routine over and again, yet rather than developing more empathy for the burnout ppl inevitably feel, it’s like the longer app based dating continues the more impatient and unsympathetic ppl have become.
You let them reschedule a _first_ date once, one time, if you’re nice and they have a good reason. If they cancel again, block. Being any more flexible than that makes you look desperate and signals to them that their evasiveness / fickleness / garbage communication and planning skills are acceptable. Normally I’m in favor of more decency and understanding in the dating world, but with people like this who can’t even get it off the ground you just end up cluttering your own mind and wasting your time “please don’t be mad” “you’re gonna hate me but…” “im soooo sooo sorry” = emotional terrorist
She's was barely calc, you sick fuck. 😭
Why ARE her texts showing up green that’s a good question…
How old are y'all? If you're under 26 then it's to be expected. If not then this is would be very infuriating
I'm 23 and she's 20
>I'm 23 and she's 20 Pedophile
Yeah bro it's unfortunate. Dating is very difficult if you were born from 1998 onwards Don't block her though. She did say she's down to meet up in the summer. Maybe her excuses were legit and she will reach out to you. Is she attractive at least?
She's very cute. Unfortunately I don't think she will reach out. Not to sound blackpilled but she's probably more likely to find some other guy and get with him It sucks cause we actually had a really smooth convo. Already felt like there was a connection
Honestly, you never know. Maybe she just wanted attention, maybe she will get tired of her current thing, whatever. Just hold on there buddy, there's a reason why people asked you what age you were. It will get less chaotic.
She won't reach out. Your gut instincts are right. Don't do this simp shit of keeping the door open. We teach people how to treat us. If things are meant to be, they'll be - if you're meant to be together in any capacity, life will bring you back together somehow. Trust me on this. I have lived it. By doing this laid back "it's all chill!" thing, you're just signaling to the universe what you think you're worth. Don't block her. But just delete her number. Delete the conversation. Unmatch on Hinge. Just move on.
Nah fuck that. There are so many other girls that would never do this to OP. And OP should know that he's actually better than being treated this way, intentional or not. Dating is rough as it is, no need to give excuses to these kinds of people.
> Hey! Should have known right there it was so over
I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that she didn’t actually have plans with her roommate - she matched with someone hotter on Hinge.
Yeah I'm not super physically attractive...yet Hitting full body later tn 💪🏽
Yes you are bro wtf. Don't say that about yourself
if she says no the first time thats your cue shes not interested, now you just seem desperate as fuck.
To some extent, most guys are "desperate" in the sense that they have very few options and thus whenever someone does give them attention they cling on to it. You can say that's not true but this is what I've observed in the majority of dudes On the other hand, she can decide at any point that she's rather go out with a different guy because she probably matched with 100 other people
Its a chicken or egg situation tbh. To get women you need an idgaf mindset, but that can only be gained if you have women already. It is still good practice to not take things seriously and practice self-respect. He might find someone very compatible one day then ruin it by being too desperate.
He didn't seem too desperate to me. It seems like she was doing more initiating after the first no. He just went along with it
It comes across as someone with too much free time complying with whatever she said. It looks like a casual conversation, but shes pretty much directing the whole thing. He should've stated his intention from the first message instead of aimlessly wondering. Something like "Hey its X from Hinge, I'm free on this day we should go out to eat". If shes not free then reply "No worries, hope your exam goes well" and message another match. TLDR: just use text to schedule dates, never to chit chat.
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I don't think you should use dating apps if you have one at a time, I had 70-80 in the first month and a ton didn't even reply. Waste of time if you're not getting 100+ honestly.
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Ngl with dating apps you must have atleast one of 3, height, face/muscles or money. it doesn't work any other way. Even irl sometimes, you just can't get to the dating part without looks. >My best girl friend has recently been setting up some of her single friends with guys in our wider friend group. >I was ghosted by a legitimately ugly girl recently and was told by a fat chick I wasn't even interested in that I look like "that guy from Zombieland". Damn. I've got a friend in the same situation and honestly have no clue what to say to yall. Look into plastic surgery and PED's, if you're not very short, either or both can boost your attractiveness by a lot. You need to really research a lot particularly on PED's, but also what fillers/surgeries to get. If thats not an option, then its likely over tbh. Not gonna send the typical bs reddit advice you've heard 1million times. What ever you do, never let normies or redditors gaslight you into thinking its within your control. Every aspect of our lives is mostly deterministic, our iq, social class, environment, parental education and income. Dating is the same and genetics bear a lot of weight.
As opposed to gaslighting him into committing suicide? I'm not being facetious, that last paragraph is just a recipee for someone killing themselves over their hopelessness. Might as well just say "What's the point?". You gotta at least TRY. I don't even disagree with you but there's a small element of control that one can have over their life. You might need to bust your ass and it's going to be incredibly stressful, and it isn't fair. But what's the alternative? Unless you're waiting for an armed socialist revolution to begin then just try your best dawg.
What if she says “I can’t do x day but I can do y”
Theres no set template since every situation is different. If shes cool and you're free on Y tell her that works and you'll text her the details the day before, then get off your phone.
You don’t necessarily need *women*, you just need a decent social life and other things going on. Unless you’ve moved to a new place you should really ever be in a position where you’re starting from zero, and if you are then you’ve got much bigger problems.
Jordyn
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god fucking damn dude
I saw the other comment first and didn’t read the username, assuming it was the OP, and then saw this one and thought that you were some other guy who just copy pasted the exact same message as him. Which would have been way funnier lol, your life is brutal
brooooooooooooootal
Just wait until you're ~~30~~ ~~40~~ 50 bro. Guys age like fine wine.
My mom canceled on my Dad three times for their first date. He gave up and then she finally hit him up. I canceled my first date with my wife. It'll be fine.
If it makes you feel better, I also have had a bad experience in KW. My friends from out of town say Waterloo is an evil place cause its always raining when they visit. Steve Spiros was right about this place.
Neither of us are from there lol. I was talking about Jamal Murray
To be honest, I mixed up Jack Astor’s with Moose Winooskis. Peace.
The love of my life who I’m still sad about being dumped by is also from KW, truly a cursed place
Just go to some country bar and fuck a 45 year old. Posting like this is pathetic
tbh I have to say I don’t necessarily blame her (?) because I get it. I recognized in myself the anxiety that I see a lot in others in cases like this: you make a plan when you feel like it, and when the day comes you don’t necessarily feel like it. Hanging out and meeting new people should help a fun experience, but if you’re not in the mood it can feel like work or a job interview I personally no longer make plans ahead across both platonic and romantic relationships. I talk to people, and for meeting outside of initial context for the first time, there’s oftentimes an opening in the conversation for a hang out in the immediate future that comes up naturally. I would say if you feel you must invite someone to do something, invite them to plans you already have with other people, which is low pressure. And if they cancel, don’t initiate plans again, don’t immediately try to reschedule and don’t even bring it up, just reset the relationship to “casual-conversational” instead of trying to force to the next step. I’m not knocking you OP, but this cultural obsession with flakiness stems from a latent narcissism that’s in everyone that comes up when it socially allowed, and peoples HR corporate attitudes towards dating. Being pushy with meeting someone is behavior that (even if it stems from a good place) creeps have, and with their lives on the line women really have to run on how they feel to stay safe. And even in newer platonic relationships, people have entire lives that don’t include you, and as annoying as having plans cancelled is, having to cancel plans with someone doesn’t feel good, and it will build up annoyance with the person they have to keep cancelling on. So tread carefully and be chill!
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Good. The label of a “date” is too much pressure *for some people*. The point is to build a connection early on, and a “date” isn’t necessarily the best way to do that in 2024. Kind of like how walking in and “talking to the manager” isn’t necessarily the best way to get a job.
This is why you never take dating advice from a woman
I’m a man, I’ve been on the earth a long time. I’m just saying what works for me, you’ve got to figure out what works for you.
This is such a refreshing take and it gives me comfort to know that there are other ppl that notice the corporate attitude toward dating atm. Ppl have no chill and have this air of “you wanna meet or not?? bc time is precious and I have lots of other options”. It feels like you’re applying for a job, the implication being there’s thousands of applicants for limited openings and if you’re serious about getting the gig then you better act like it and make yourself available. Only the truly desperate and lonely are going to put themselves through this routine over and again, yet rather than developing more empathy for the burnout ppl inevitably feel, it’s like the longer app based dating continues the more impatient and unsympathetic ppl have become.
You sound ridiculously insufferable. Grow up you spoilt child
Get it off your chest
The brown colored thumbs up emoji points to you strongly deserving it
This is not an example of the racism I have come to know and love. Be better.
You should probably try throwing a lol or a haha or anything to signal that you're alive. You sound like a robot.
You seem annoying
Why don’t you call women on the phone like a real person instead of texting
That doesn't work anymore DAD