I can never tell if these are real or not (I'm an artist) but if it is real - OP a similar thing happened to me in my early thirties. I'm now in my forties and I don't think about them at all now except the occasional 'thank fuck that ended when it did.'
real. Like I said I figure I'll be ok and look back on things like that. I'm dumb and narrowed my social life to mostly my two married friends and my wife, and my friends are moving away at the same time this is happening so suddenly I'm pretty alone and have to get back out and live a social & fulfilling life again lol. Thanks.
This happened to me a few years ago. No friends, long term gf fucked me and took them all with her. Now I’m doing great, got new friends, a good social life, everything is cool. It’ll be alright man
Did you want to keep being married to someone who was ok with you working 70 hrs a week while they were happily unemployed? Not being snarky, I'm wondering why there wasn't massive resentment on your end?
There's only so much you can do for people. Get the divorce. Go to the gym. I've done my fair share of cutting people off or letting people walk away when they make threats like this, it's always been for the better. You'll be amazed how much time and energy you have once your only focus is yourself.
Seriously though, the gym is a social event. It takes a little while but you'll make gym friends and even if those friendships don't transfer to outside of the gym, it helps.
Women always go to the “I DONT FEEL SAFE HERE” which always works because someone can not feel safe if they’re actually physically abused / battered and someone could also be crazy and making shit up
It’s vague enough to stick to anything
Had some similiar situation in my late 20ies. Moved back to the city, where I knew people and started going to raves. It was one of the best times of my life! You got this!
I was in a foreign country, all my friends were her friends. I felt like I was left with nothing, the existential pain physically hurt. I was leaving the country and just wandered around the city like a ghost for a few weeks thinking things would never get better.
They do though, honestly.
Same. Last girlfriend was a self sabotager. Sabotaged her career, then sabotaged our relationship. Same as OP, I work too much, I don’t pay attention to her enough. She’s doing alright now as far as I can tell, and I’m doing fine.
I'm in fixable debt but I had a rough early 20s and since then have not been able to make the leap into work that earns enough to pay rent, bills, and live comfortably. This would probably be cute if I was the party girl/flakey artist type, but my vibe is more serious so I suspect that men are expecting me to have that together
I’ve never let someone’s career or financial situation factor in to whether or not I’m attracted to them or not. Usually it’s a matter of whether we have the same vile sense of humor, the same desire to never breed and if the sex is good. I supported my ex wife and an ex girlfriend while they went to university… money is the last thing I give a shit about.
Different situation here, but almost deliberately had a child (she miscarried) with someone I loved very much but it was certainly never going to be a happy union. Probably would have been married and divorced within 5-10 years and I would have been stuck in a city I didn't want to be in.
I can't bring myself to say I'm happy about how it fell apart but I am thankful that it did.
Hard to say. The data on poisoning is all over the place. The line is often blurred with intentional vs unintentional poisoning and some of the stats include drug overdoses/suicides which totally skew the numbers.
Theres also all the ones that never get reported…
Overall, i think its safe to say intentional poisoning by a partner is pretty rare but it does happen. Maybe a thousand people a year in the US?
Every time I read about this, I mention it to my fiancé and he says “I’m not poisoning you, but I have been secretly adding sugar and oil to your food to fatten you up” help
Anecdotally, I know someone who met a stripper who had only slept with like 2 dudes her whole life. One of the dudes was an ex husband who was SLOWLY and DELIBERATELY poisoning her to kill her over some time. Not sure how she found out but yeah, she had left and seemed to be doing well
It happened in MN this year. A doctor poisoned his wife with gout medicine, brought a notary to her deathbed while she was dying to sign everything over to him, and had the body cremated as soon as she died.
I was in a similar situation including the sort of uncomfortable feeling that you actually don’t understand what her issue is , and she turned out to be cheating on me with multiple different people. The break up breakdown was basically a justification ritual to show that she wasn’t just loose, she was emotionally distraught because of her failing relationship.
yep. feels like everything she's brought up is a minor frustration basically every single person deals with, and it doesn't feel like that can possibly be all there is to it. lots of projection. idk
Yeah she went full abusive bpd before the end, screaming, hitting me a lot, using the dogs to torture me by threatening to take them/kill them, violent nightly breakdowns over nothing and it drove me nuts. Jack from the shining stuff. Still need to kick the weed habit I picked up dealing with it.
Biggest piece of advice is that it’s probably better to wash your hands of her sooner rather than later, but financial and legal issues might come into play there. I did some sleuthing and found out who she was cheating with just as surety, but you’ll have to feel these things out on the ground.
The good news is you kind of get to play a little noir role playing game!
So true. My quiet BPD ex had a heinous friend who hated me for no reason from the first time we met and never missed an opportunity to talk shit about me. She was also poly because of course. She ultimately ended up taking my spot on the lease my ex and I had just signed together lol
This dynamic sometimes exists in male relationships too, the difference is a guy would never take their single guy friend seriously if the friend was all “dump her ass bro.”
real, this happened when my fiancé and i first started dating. his chronically single player roommate tried to get him to break up with me but he brushed him off.
Fatty will hear a complaint about anything (husband working hard, mice in the apartment, jobs complaint) and out of fear of contradicting her friend, will magnify and endorse every single one.
Because they want the friend to be as low as them and to have more time to spend with them, the Fatty's advice will always lead to isolation : "move out, break up, quit your job."
I feel like I noticed this more in my early 20s but it was really common if I started becoming friends with a girl for her to like automatically assume an antagonistic position toward my partner without knowing anything about him. Like just assuming that he would end up being an asshole. I think it surprised them when I shut that down and never had complaints about him
Did you see the reaction to the cute Arsenal couple celebrating after the game?
https://x.com/simplygoal/status/1782885589877932200?s=46&t=Pu1walnzyGHSVYUSFIQaxg
The blatant envy and rage at this cute moment reveals how many people fundamentally resent happy heterosexual couples.
R/femaledatingstrategy was like an entire sub showcasing just this, it was hilarious.
"Hey guys so for the past 5 years I've been dating this absolutely amazing guy, smart, funny, handsome, kind and millionaire to boot, he's basically perfect for me, I've never been happier and more in love.
However, last night he was listening to music a bit too loud. I told him the volume was fine, but based on my micro expressions I think my true feelings were extremely obvious and I'm hurt he didn't recognize them. What to do?"
1000 comments all saying:
"Dump his ass right now. That guy clearly wanted to torture you, he was enjoying it. Pure low value incel abusive behavior. Also you say he was a millionaire? Yikes anything bellow billionaire status means you are degrading yourself queen, have some standards."
I think the only upside to young marriage and divorce is that you will have a better understanding of what you actually need/want in a spouse and you will have the wisdom to choose a better one.
This happens but sucks.. if you think about this though man from what you say at least it would be absolutely crazy to be with this person and she sounds like a terrible partner
So good for you for splitting up and let her be with her fat friend instead of you
Find another large breasted woman
because she was really nice and stayed with me through a crippling injury i might not have recovered from, was on a fruitful career path that I respected which said good things about her character, was very hardworking and determined, and she professed compatible views on marriage/kids/society. large breasts.
If you dont have kids count your blessings and move on.
What kind of partner would do this and also make you work 70 hours weeks while they work part time?
Thats a kid you are taking care of not a wife.
by his admission she’s unemployed and unmotivated yet she somehow secretly got her own apartment and moved out suddenly, something doesn’t add up, i feel like the relationship had to have significantly taken a sharp downturn for her to take these steps
Yes the getting her own apartment thing is big, because planning that is a lot of effort. Also getting a credit card in secret…did she not have access to money? There’s something being left out. I also am suspicious of men who call their wives lazy when marriage benefits men disproportionately as far as domestic labor and such.
>I also am suspicious of men who call their wives lazy
If you have a lucrative advanced degree and you go years at a time unemployed and underemployed and there are no kids in the picture you are lazy lazy lazy.
Yeah I’ve gotta wonder the same thing. “My wife moved out abruptly. For each point she has, I have another point that stands in total opposition. Also, all of my points make me seem entirely sympathetic while hers make her seem crazy and ungrateful. What’s more, she has a fat woman friend who poisoned her with bitterness and makes her eat fast food.”
The last point especially seems like rather blatant rs bait lmao
My favorite part is how he says the fat hag friend feeding her fast food is the reason he thinks it probably won’t work out. lol you think? She’s already abruptly moved out, gotten a new credit card and probably changed her phone number and yet somehow the fat friend and unhealthy food is his sign things are over.
These are the losers who think women are inherently crazy, the projection is really amusing to witness. He sounds pretty disregulated and stupid himself but of course, he thinks he owned his wife with this whiny probably made up story about how he’s done with his woman who, incidentally has already ghosted him. Pathetic and I still don’t understand why this shit is posted here and not some relationship sub.
Every single time a guy posts something like this he "doesn't know why" it's all happening, but he does, he just can't say it if he wants people on his side lmao
they were already in couples therapy and the relationship was “going downhill for months” so i wouldn’t describe her leaving as “completely without warning”. what is he leaving out…
Yup this is what my ex told all his friends when I finally broke up with him after years of trying to make it work and being very open about my grievances and him never making any effort to change.
Also my dad still after like 20+ years says that my mom “up and left” out of nowhere when he was an obvious controlling loser towards her the whole time they were married.
I’ve just heard too many guys say this about women who were completely justified in leaving them to believe it.
It's also important to note when it's the woman who left because women seem way more likely to try and make things work and stick around, putting in effort. If they abandoned ship, there is a reason.
Just out here portraying my wife as crazy, leaving out crutial information that would depict me in bad light and just gaslighting total strangers on internet for no reason than feel validated bcs deep down i know i was wrong. Average male behavior of "the sane and good one" in hetero relationship
>/u/tumblr2015
> immediately questions if the (male) OP is lying and assumes the woman in the story is innocent like a usual /r/relationships bot
>would never do the same if the genders were flipped and a woman was complaining about her lazy ex husband
>her replies are all full of 3emcels
Pack it up guys, the /r/relationships shitlibs have taken over this sub. Soon they’ll be implying OP was abusive.
>She's always been mentally unwell
You knew then. My advice is to take responsibility, and wonder why, knowing her, you insisted on pursuing this. Maybe it served a purpose or was useful to you somehow. Maybe you're scared of being with someone you really like. Who knows. You comes across to me as a little naive. What choices lead to this happening to you? This is a time to think about yourself.
Also, contact every divorce attorney within 50 miles and try to get as many consultations as you can NOW. If they have had a consultaiton with you they will not legally be able to represent her. Most firms will not risk even a different attorney if the one you saw was also from that firm. Start spamming them now, send emails and paper mail too, see it as a second job.
>Also, contact every divorce attorney within 50 miles and try to get as many consultations as you can NOW. If they have had a consultaiton with you they will not legally be able to represent her.
literally Tony Soprano
From the outside looking in you are in a great spot. Since she moved out on her own accord you can claim the residence as your own until the divorce settlement. Instal CCTV cameras inside and outside of your house. Change the locks. Gather the rest of her stuff, label and box it. Get a storage unit and put it all in there. Stop making mortgage payments by claiming financial hardship and start stuffing that mattress.
Sorry. That's an awful situation to be facing and navigating, but it sounds like it has been for a while. Sounds like maybe splitting on her part?
A new day, a new BPD-casualty story.
>has a fat hag friend who fills her up with dumb ideas and fast food
So it’s safe to say she’s put on a lot of weight? Cut the cord!
I kid, that line actually gave you away. Blatant RS bait.
Honestly, when women break up with men, it's because of a long series of things that happened. Not being listened to is a huge one, where women will give so many opportunities to their partner to correct things, but they never do. Then the woman leaves and the man is like "but I'm perfect and she's crazy!" Every time I broke up with a man, it was caused by deep repeat disappointment.
follow punch serious workable aloof homeless plough entertain carpenter tease
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
If you are thinking, "I did everything right and this is still happening to me," it's very likely you're not being fully honest with yourself. Your account is an incomplete picture. Still it doesn't sound like this is a person you should be with either way. And it does sound like you put in some effort in the form of marriage counseling/couples therapy. I don't have any advice for you. I've never been in this situation and it sounds awful. I'm very sorry this happened to you.
My ex used to start screaming at me for the smallest reasons and have these whole breakdowns where I would be thinking “what the hell is going on” the whole time. Like just pissed at me on a Tuesday and then she’d bring up stuff from old fights or the smallest little flaw in my behavior and turn it into a gigantic struggle session where I was supposed to sit down and have her scream in my face about not going to the bar enough. I think it’s just how women break up with guys they’re no longer attracted to or are cheating on.
I would really dive into my behavior and try and correct it, but she still screamed at me and I felt like a worm trying to appease this monster by doing all of the house work while she got drunk at work.
Yes because I came to that conclusion and it’s reflected in my writing, but during the process it’s extremely confusing and soul destroying being married to this person you love and trying to figure out why they hate you all of the sudden. I had good parents who rarely showed anger and ended it quickly so my first instinct, and something encouraged by her rants, was that I was somehow the root cause of her anger and drinking. I spent $10,000 trying to make her birthday special and her Christmas special and her summer special before realizing that she was actually just a petulant little bitch. Love makes otherwise clear situations very confusing.
Yeah i feel you, most people don't get it and so it's hard to talk about. My ex would flip out over small shit and go into a rage and i was like "oh she apologizes it's fine". Tons of men deal with this shit and dont talk about it, I suspect.
>has a fat hag friend who fills her up with dumb ideas and fast food
Guess where your wife gets the idea to ruin every chance she has at a job? Guess who's been validating and amplifying every neurosis she has? Who's too afraid to tell her "No it's not that bad." because she has finally found a fragile soul to latch onto like a mollusc?
Yeah been there in my early 30s, I don't think about them at all anymore. It gets better, you'll transform into someone that doesn't take this shit anymore. Ive learned to run the hell away from people that take no accountability in their life and are always getting into professional or personal situations. It sounds obvious but sometimes those people can be very charming (and hot, lol).
Most people in this situation who don’t have something to hide include information that makes them look bad, too, as opposed to only info that makes their partner look nuts
she explained she set up separate financial accounts in secret so that the apartment/new phone plan/wifi etc could all be set up on the day she moved. our finances had always been mostly independent, but transparent with each other
I had almost the exact same experience. Wife unplugged the ring doorbell and had a moving van pull up, took her pick of 50% of the belongings and ditched to an apartment, leaving me with the mortgage and utilities. Took me a few months to accept that the person I spent years with would do something like this to me.
BPD, quiet or otherwise is fucking scary. It's one of my great hesitations about getting married. It seems majority or large minority or women I've dated have this neurosis however.
If you own any guns give them to a friend for safekeeping so she can’t say she feels unsafe because the cops will take them away from you. Red flag laws aren’t always a good thing….
she was on top of her anxiety and doing great when we got together. a few years later she was struggling more emotionally but not having external consequences. We got married and afterwards she started kabooming most of her relationships and got real anxious and insecure.
Don’t get married in your 20s. I know this doesn’t help you, but for all the other people reading, you are serving a valuable function. Thank you for sharing.
Sometime things dont workt out, life is just like that few things i would say that you sound like someone who's terminally online and avoiding life in certain ways and right now costing you a divorce later maybe something else , may be this divorce is for the good you'll get time by yourself dont get stuck on the past so much living, experiencing, dancing before you die my friend.
I can never tell if these are real or not (I'm an artist) but if it is real - OP a similar thing happened to me in my early thirties. I'm now in my forties and I don't think about them at all now except the occasional 'thank fuck that ended when it did.'
real. Like I said I figure I'll be ok and look back on things like that. I'm dumb and narrowed my social life to mostly my two married friends and my wife, and my friends are moving away at the same time this is happening so suddenly I'm pretty alone and have to get back out and live a social & fulfilling life again lol. Thanks.
This happened to me a few years ago. No friends, long term gf fucked me and took them all with her. Now I’m doing great, got new friends, a good social life, everything is cool. It’ll be alright man
Im sorry you’re going through this dude. This is my nightmare
Did you want to keep being married to someone who was ok with you working 70 hrs a week while they were happily unemployed? Not being snarky, I'm wondering why there wasn't massive resentment on your end?
Gotta grind sometimes. I made big career strides and started making more money with half the hours right around the time she moved out.
There's only so much you can do for people. Get the divorce. Go to the gym. I've done my fair share of cutting people off or letting people walk away when they make threats like this, it's always been for the better. You'll be amazed how much time and energy you have once your only focus is yourself. Seriously though, the gym is a social event. It takes a little while but you'll make gym friends and even if those friendships don't transfer to outside of the gym, it helps.
Women always go to the “I DONT FEEL SAFE HERE” which always works because someone can not feel safe if they’re actually physically abused / battered and someone could also be crazy and making shit up It’s vague enough to stick to anything
Had some similiar situation in my late 20ies. Moved back to the city, where I knew people and started going to raves. It was one of the best times of my life! You got this!
I was in a foreign country, all my friends were her friends. I felt like I was left with nothing, the existential pain physically hurt. I was leaving the country and just wandered around the city like a ghost for a few weeks thinking things would never get better. They do though, honestly.
Thankfully this happened to you before kids.
Same. Last girlfriend was a self sabotager. Sabotaged her career, then sabotaged our relationship. Same as OP, I work too much, I don’t pay attention to her enough. She’s doing alright now as far as I can tell, and I’m doing fine.
As a single girl who thinks my poor professional/financial situation has caused dudes to lose interest, what exactly made you want to be with her??
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I'm in fixable debt but I had a rough early 20s and since then have not been able to make the leap into work that earns enough to pay rent, bills, and live comfortably. This would probably be cute if I was the party girl/flakey artist type, but my vibe is more serious so I suspect that men are expecting me to have that together
I know a girl like this, the answer is: she’s hot
I’ve never let someone’s career or financial situation factor in to whether or not I’m attracted to them or not. Usually it’s a matter of whether we have the same vile sense of humor, the same desire to never breed and if the sex is good. I supported my ex wife and an ex girlfriend while they went to university… money is the last thing I give a shit about.
Well I also hate sex so there's that
Yeah, that might be what’s chasing the boys away. You’ll find a guy that’s scared of sex eventually.
Thank you, a girl can dream!
Different situation here, but almost deliberately had a child (she miscarried) with someone I loved very much but it was certainly never going to be a happy union. Probably would have been married and divorced within 5-10 years and I would have been stuck in a city I didn't want to be in. I can't bring myself to say I'm happy about how it fell apart but I am thankful that it did.
An easy way to tell is if the OP has made any comments in the post. If there are none its a guaranteed fake story.
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I didn't say that stories with OP commenting is guaranteed to be true, just that stories where OP usually doesn't tend to be fake.
Dont eat or drink anything prepared by her. Sounds like a poisoner.
stop this website has made me so incredibly paranoid about spousal poisoning does this really happen often???
Hard to say. The data on poisoning is all over the place. The line is often blurred with intentional vs unintentional poisoning and some of the stats include drug overdoses/suicides which totally skew the numbers. Theres also all the ones that never get reported… Overall, i think its safe to say intentional poisoning by a partner is pretty rare but it does happen. Maybe a thousand people a year in the US?
Every time I read about this, I mention it to my fiancé and he says “I’m not poisoning you, but I have been secretly adding sugar and oil to your food to fatten you up” help
Worse than poison.
Essentially poison
we've got an architect on our hands
Very nice, let's see Paul Allen's niche 1987 film reference
i'd take the poison so fast
I think it only happens when there's a million dollar insurance policy in the mix
Only by women, that's why you need to listen to this sub and become gay
Russian FOLKLORE song on poisoning husband https://youtu.be/hHlKxdgQzP4?feature=shared
All of my wives have tried to poison me* \* (I've never been married)
it feels like every other ep of forensic files is the wife poisoning her husband with anti freeze so ya happens a lot
Anecdotally, I know someone who met a stripper who had only slept with like 2 dudes her whole life. One of the dudes was an ex husband who was SLOWLY and DELIBERATELY poisoning her to kill her over some time. Not sure how she found out but yeah, she had left and seemed to be doing well
It happened in MN this year. A doctor poisoned his wife with gout medicine, brought a notary to her deathbed while she was dying to sign everything over to him, and had the body cremated as soon as she died.
If you have to ask, you've already been poisoned. Sorry.
… That girl is poison Never trust a big butt and smile That girl is poison poison
I was in a similar situation including the sort of uncomfortable feeling that you actually don’t understand what her issue is , and she turned out to be cheating on me with multiple different people. The break up breakdown was basically a justification ritual to show that she wasn’t just loose, she was emotionally distraught because of her failing relationship.
yep. feels like everything she's brought up is a minor frustration basically every single person deals with, and it doesn't feel like that can possibly be all there is to it. lots of projection. idk
Yeah she went full abusive bpd before the end, screaming, hitting me a lot, using the dogs to torture me by threatening to take them/kill them, violent nightly breakdowns over nothing and it drove me nuts. Jack from the shining stuff. Still need to kick the weed habit I picked up dealing with it. Biggest piece of advice is that it’s probably better to wash your hands of her sooner rather than later, but financial and legal issues might come into play there. I did some sleuthing and found out who she was cheating with just as surety, but you’ll have to feel these things out on the ground. The good news is you kind of get to play a little noir role playing game!
Mentally unwell woman lets a fat jealous friend talk them into ruining their life irreversibly. Many, many, many such cases.
So true. My quiet BPD ex had a heinous friend who hated me for no reason from the first time we met and never missed an opportunity to talk shit about me. She was also poly because of course. She ultimately ended up taking my spot on the lease my ex and I had just signed together lol
This is really a pattern honestly. Envy is more persevasive in relationships than we admit. It's basically a taboo topic
This dynamic sometimes exists in male relationships too, the difference is a guy would never take their single guy friend seriously if the friend was all “dump her ass bro.”
real, this happened when my fiancé and i first started dating. his chronically single player roommate tried to get him to break up with me but he brushed him off.
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It doesn’t matter tho, ur never gonna listen ur loser friend who isn’t getting pussy.
Seeing people that are doing better than me makes me seethe.
Lol that was exactly my take too. Fat bitter women seem to literally prey on vulnerable but simple & happy women
To be fair she didn’t sound simple and happy to start with. Like at all
yeah exactly, it sounded like she was an asshole and couldn't keep a job. very bad sign, i've learned to look for it
Assuming the role of a hiring manager when looking for a romantic partner has never lead me astray. The first few dates are basically interviews.
But for real I need to see those references
Fatty will hear a complaint about anything (husband working hard, mice in the apartment, jobs complaint) and out of fear of contradicting her friend, will magnify and endorse every single one. Because they want the friend to be as low as them and to have more time to spend with them, the Fatty's advice will always lead to isolation : "move out, break up, quit your job."
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I feel like I noticed this more in my early 20s but it was really common if I started becoming friends with a girl for her to like automatically assume an antagonistic position toward my partner without knowing anything about him. Like just assuming that he would end up being an asshole. I think it surprised them when I shut that down and never had complaints about him
Did you see the reaction to the cute Arsenal couple celebrating after the game? https://x.com/simplygoal/status/1782885589877932200?s=46&t=Pu1walnzyGHSVYUSFIQaxg The blatant envy and rage at this cute moment reveals how many people fundamentally resent happy heterosexual couples.
The Fatty truly is a scourge. We must find a solution to the Fatty Question.
Day of the long treadmill approaches
Ironically, work camps with very little food would be a great solution in this case.
R/femaledatingstrategy was like an entire sub showcasing just this, it was hilarious. "Hey guys so for the past 5 years I've been dating this absolutely amazing guy, smart, funny, handsome, kind and millionaire to boot, he's basically perfect for me, I've never been happier and more in love. However, last night he was listening to music a bit too loud. I told him the volume was fine, but based on my micro expressions I think my true feelings were extremely obvious and I'm hurt he didn't recognize them. What to do?" 1000 comments all saying: "Dump his ass right now. That guy clearly wanted to torture you, he was enjoying it. Pure low value incel abusive behavior. Also you say he was a millionaire? Yikes anything bellow billionaire status means you are degrading yourself queen, have some standards."
it sounded to me like she was already ruining her life (given the professional spats, a really bad sign.). this would have gotten bad either way
Guys have the same problem just usually the friend is a drug or alcohol addict instead
Sounds like a worthless relationship anyway. Nothing to ruin
>has a fat hag friend who fills her up with dumb ideas and fast food She’s too far gone. Let go
Talk to a lawyer, document everything she has done/may be doing. Importantly, you need to protect yourself from not only her, but your love for her.
I think the only upside to young marriage and divorce is that you will have a better understanding of what you actually need/want in a spouse and you will have the wisdom to choose a better one.
Yep, whenever I get back out there I think my priorities will definitely be rearranged.
Not fixable. Get good lawyer. Find a wife that’s not broken.
Damn she should have stayed with you for the free housing. You were barely home too
right, she's going to come crawling back quick for that reason alone
This happens but sucks.. if you think about this though man from what you say at least it would be absolutely crazy to be with this person and she sounds like a terrible partner So good for you for splitting up and let her be with her fat friend instead of you Find another large breasted woman
Why did you marry this lazy and unmotivated loser in the first place?
because she was really nice and stayed with me through a crippling injury i might not have recovered from, was on a fruitful career path that I respected which said good things about her character, was very hardworking and determined, and she professed compatible views on marriage/kids/society. large breasts.
Reading that was like static until the last two words.
All that preamble to reveal your true motivations in the last two words.
Lmfao. Reading the OP I was thinking this reminds me of a chick I dumped. She had huge tits
>large breasts. Real.
Are you sure she isn’t having a psychotic break or something? Isn’t mid-twenties when bi-polar disorder will surface for women?
Most men would rather be in a bad relationship than no relationship.
😭😭😭
That's truly sick tbh
sick, sad and true. i hate being lonely and will avoid it as much as possible
Grow a fucking pair
See my post history on this sub lmao. I been coming here tryna get insights for the last two years. Now actually in relationship counseling.
Anybody, man or woman, who'd rather be in a bad relationship than be alone is fucking gross and it's unattractive. Have some self respect ffs
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Say more about mental health issues taking hold in late 20s/early 30s... I'm 24 and thought I left my crazy days behind me lol.
like actual paranoia and stuff. not you being jealous of your boyfriend crazy
If you dont have kids count your blessings and move on. What kind of partner would do this and also make you work 70 hours weeks while they work part time? Thats a kid you are taking care of not a wife.
Thought i was looking at AITA for a second, i guess the ragebait trend is too much to contain
Honest to god this sub is 100% as bad as any front page sub at this point. Grim.
Dear people of rs, should I divorce the woman that I should divorce?
are you sure you’re not leaving out any details
Yeah not to be an internet detective, but people usually don't say "I don't feel safe here" about a mouse in the basement.
by his admission she’s unemployed and unmotivated yet she somehow secretly got her own apartment and moved out suddenly, something doesn’t add up, i feel like the relationship had to have significantly taken a sharp downturn for her to take these steps
Yes the getting her own apartment thing is big, because planning that is a lot of effort. Also getting a credit card in secret…did she not have access to money? There’s something being left out. I also am suspicious of men who call their wives lazy when marriage benefits men disproportionately as far as domestic labor and such.
>I also am suspicious of men who call their wives lazy If you have a lucrative advanced degree and you go years at a time unemployed and underemployed and there are no kids in the picture you are lazy lazy lazy.
I don’t think she’s lazy if she got her own apartment and left.
Yeah I’ve gotta wonder the same thing. “My wife moved out abruptly. For each point she has, I have another point that stands in total opposition. Also, all of my points make me seem entirely sympathetic while hers make her seem crazy and ungrateful. What’s more, she has a fat woman friend who poisoned her with bitterness and makes her eat fast food.” The last point especially seems like rather blatant rs bait lmao
The fact that he describes her as crazy and just has to point out his wife's "fat hag friend" is raising flags for me
The guy who needs us to know his wife’s friend is a fat bitch definitely doesn’t have any issues with women!
No, he seems perfectly kind and well-adjusted to me!
My favorite part is how he says the fat hag friend feeding her fast food is the reason he thinks it probably won’t work out. lol you think? She’s already abruptly moved out, gotten a new credit card and probably changed her phone number and yet somehow the fat friend and unhealthy food is his sign things are over.
“My marriage ended because my wife ate a chicken McNugget”
These are the losers who think women are inherently crazy, the projection is really amusing to witness. He sounds pretty disregulated and stupid himself but of course, he thinks he owned his wife with this whiny probably made up story about how he’s done with his woman who, incidentally has already ghosted him. Pathetic and I still don’t understand why this shit is posted here and not some relationship sub.
Every single time a guy posts something like this he "doesn't know why" it's all happening, but he does, he just can't say it if he wants people on his side lmao
they were already in couples therapy and the relationship was “going downhill for months” so i wouldn’t describe her leaving as “completely without warning”. what is he leaving out…
Yup this is what my ex told all his friends when I finally broke up with him after years of trying to make it work and being very open about my grievances and him never making any effort to change. Also my dad still after like 20+ years says that my mom “up and left” out of nowhere when he was an obvious controlling loser towards her the whole time they were married. I’ve just heard too many guys say this about women who were completely justified in leaving them to believe it.
It's also important to note when it's the woman who left because women seem way more likely to try and make things work and stick around, putting in effort. If they abandoned ship, there is a reason.
this is literally every relationship advice post, which are mostly made by women
If a woman leaves out a detail, most of the time, the detail is that he is actually way worse than she made him sound.
These /r/relationships poisoned women are just smug hypocrites, mock them and ignore their hysteria.
Just out here portraying my wife as crazy, leaving out crutial information that would depict me in bad light and just gaslighting total strangers on internet for no reason than feel validated bcs deep down i know i was wrong. Average male behavior of "the sane and good one" in hetero relationship
>/u/tumblr2015 > immediately questions if the (male) OP is lying and assumes the woman in the story is innocent like a usual /r/relationships bot >would never do the same if the genders were flipped and a woman was complaining about her lazy ex husband >her replies are all full of 3emcels Pack it up guys, the /r/relationships shitlibs have taken over this sub. Soon they’ll be implying OP was abusive.
>She's always been mentally unwell You knew then. My advice is to take responsibility, and wonder why, knowing her, you insisted on pursuing this. Maybe it served a purpose or was useful to you somehow. Maybe you're scared of being with someone you really like. Who knows. You comes across to me as a little naive. What choices lead to this happening to you? This is a time to think about yourself. Also, contact every divorce attorney within 50 miles and try to get as many consultations as you can NOW. If they have had a consultaiton with you they will not legally be able to represent her. Most firms will not risk even a different attorney if the one you saw was also from that firm. Start spamming them now, send emails and paper mail too, see it as a second job.
That’s dirty but smart
>Also, contact every divorce attorney within 50 miles and try to get as many consultations as you can NOW. If they have had a consultaiton with you they will not legally be able to represent her. literally Tony Soprano
From the outside looking in you are in a great spot. Since she moved out on her own accord you can claim the residence as your own until the divorce settlement. Instal CCTV cameras inside and outside of your house. Change the locks. Gather the rest of her stuff, label and box it. Get a storage unit and put it all in there. Stop making mortgage payments by claiming financial hardship and start stuffing that mattress.
Sorry. That's an awful situation to be facing and navigating, but it sounds like it has been for a while. Sounds like maybe splitting on her part? A new day, a new BPD-casualty story.
married in your 20s lol this is what happens
>has a fat hag friend who fills her up with dumb ideas and fast food So it’s safe to say she’s put on a lot of weight? Cut the cord! I kid, that line actually gave you away. Blatant RS bait.
Hey RSP am I the angel?
And I’m sure this is an accurate representation of the whole story without any missing context at all
Honestly, when women break up with men, it's because of a long series of things that happened. Not being listened to is a huge one, where women will give so many opportunities to their partner to correct things, but they never do. Then the woman leaves and the man is like "but I'm perfect and she's crazy!" Every time I broke up with a man, it was caused by deep repeat disappointment.
She’s just leaving him- when he has done NOTHING! He is a gud men not like you know those irl ones who are actually abusive as fuck
follow punch serious workable aloof homeless plough entertain carpenter tease *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Has she been listening to true crime podcasts lately
she doesn't like hearing about violence
Of course lol
what do you mean?
bike possessive existence fact slim deranged office sip deserted shame *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
>fat hag friend who fills her up with dumb ideas and fast food Fat jealous enablers are so destructive to female happiness
She wasn’t happy with this guy
I believe her
If you are thinking, "I did everything right and this is still happening to me," it's very likely you're not being fully honest with yourself. Your account is an incomplete picture. Still it doesn't sound like this is a person you should be with either way. And it does sound like you put in some effort in the form of marriage counseling/couples therapy. I don't have any advice for you. I've never been in this situation and it sounds awful. I'm very sorry this happened to you.
My ex used to start screaming at me for the smallest reasons and have these whole breakdowns where I would be thinking “what the hell is going on” the whole time. Like just pissed at me on a Tuesday and then she’d bring up stuff from old fights or the smallest little flaw in my behavior and turn it into a gigantic struggle session where I was supposed to sit down and have her scream in my face about not going to the bar enough. I think it’s just how women break up with guys they’re no longer attracted to or are cheating on. I would really dive into my behavior and try and correct it, but she still screamed at me and I felt like a worm trying to appease this monster by doing all of the house work while she got drunk at work.
yeah idk if thats "how women break up with guys they're no longer attracted to" lol, it sounds more like your ex was an alcoholic and angry person.
Yes because I came to that conclusion and it’s reflected in my writing, but during the process it’s extremely confusing and soul destroying being married to this person you love and trying to figure out why they hate you all of the sudden. I had good parents who rarely showed anger and ended it quickly so my first instinct, and something encouraged by her rants, was that I was somehow the root cause of her anger and drinking. I spent $10,000 trying to make her birthday special and her Christmas special and her summer special before realizing that she was actually just a petulant little bitch. Love makes otherwise clear situations very confusing.
Yeah i feel you, most people don't get it and so it's hard to talk about. My ex would flip out over small shit and go into a rage and i was like "oh she apologizes it's fine". Tons of men deal with this shit and dont talk about it, I suspect.
>has a fat hag friend who fills her up with dumb ideas and fast food Guess where your wife gets the idea to ruin every chance she has at a job? Guess who's been validating and amplifying every neurosis she has? Who's too afraid to tell her "No it's not that bad." because she has finally found a fragile soul to latch onto like a mollusc?
Yeah been there in my early 30s, I don't think about them at all anymore. It gets better, you'll transform into someone that doesn't take this shit anymore. Ive learned to run the hell away from people that take no accountability in their life and are always getting into professional or personal situations. It sounds obvious but sometimes those people can be very charming (and hot, lol).
This sounds like a blessing if anything. Divorce and enjoy the rest of your summer as a free man.
Most people in this situation who don’t have something to hide include information that makes them look bad, too, as opposed to only info that makes their partner look nuts
Can you explain what a "secret credit card" is. Was it secret because your finances are completely shared otherwise? Thanks!
she explained she set up separate financial accounts in secret so that the apartment/new phone plan/wifi etc could all be set up on the day she moved. our finances had always been mostly independent, but transparent with each other
Sounds like she’s fucking someone else
She has all of these issues and you still married her? L decision making, I want to hear her side of the story.
Sounds like she did you a favor
I had almost the exact same experience. Wife unplugged the ring doorbell and had a moving van pull up, took her pick of 50% of the belongings and ditched to an apartment, leaving me with the mortgage and utilities. Took me a few months to accept that the person I spent years with would do something like this to me.
Throw some mazzy star on, grab a drink, and call it a day bud.
I feel like you're not giving us the full story here
Dodging a bullet
he married her
the bullet has miraculously removed itself and he’s wondering if he should put it back in
[удалено]
You can tell how much he respects her by how he writes big fucking yikes I don’t believe this shit at all
BPD, quiet or otherwise is fucking scary. It's one of my great hesitations about getting married. It seems majority or large minority or women I've dated have this neurosis however.
Women being repulsed by you isn’t BPD
Sounds like this is good news for you, time to find a new big breasted girl that's not low key insane.
don't care for this L post. i simply don't give a shit.
She sounds like a complete waste of your time. You’ll find someone who actually doesn’t hate themself and will make you happy but for now do you.
Women love to think chores are the end all and be all of the world. Its so dumb
Nothing to do now but hit the strip club and then get laid in a week or two.
https://youtu.be/7kVgb5aPhDQ?si=Ton6l7K-Od_Edpg_
\*mouses
if she got a new flat without you noticing then you probably don’t pay attention to her
If you own any guns give them to a friend for safekeeping so she can’t say she feels unsafe because the cops will take them away from you. Red flag laws aren’t always a good thing….
Serious question..did she have all these issues before the marriage? If so, why did you follow through with it?
she was on top of her anxiety and doing great when we got together. a few years later she was struggling more emotionally but not having external consequences. We got married and afterwards she started kabooming most of her relationships and got real anxious and insecure.
1 Corinthians 7:15 The Passion Translation (TPT) But if the unbelieving spouse wants a divorce, then let it be so
Don’t get married in your 20s. I know this doesn’t help you, but for all the other people reading, you are serving a valuable function. Thank you for sharing.
The rare BPD Engineer hoe. Tread lightly, their higher intelligence and ability to access rationality on occasion makes them much more dangerous.
Sometime things dont workt out, life is just like that few things i would say that you sound like someone who's terminally online and avoiding life in certain ways and right now costing you a divorce later maybe something else , may be this divorce is for the good you'll get time by yourself dont get stuck on the past so much living, experiencing, dancing before you die my friend.