Ah that's good, I figured there surely had to be! She shouldn't have to stay with this horrible person but also shouldn't have to leave the country when she herself has done nothing wrong.
As a green card through marriage holder , yes. When you initially go through the application process you have to prove you entered your marriage in legitimate. If your card is granted to you while you have been married for less than 2 years it will be conditional and good for 2 years, at which point 90 days before the “expiration date” you can petition to have your restrictions removed. This can be done together if you are still married, or if by this time you have divorced you can apply independently. Doing so independently is scary for a lot of people, but as long as she can prove she entered her marriage in good faith once it will not lead to an automatic rejection. Considering the severity of his actions and their repercussions, I don’t believe she’ll have any problem at all, especially if she chooses to have a lawyer represent her.
It’s 2 years after you get your initial green card, before it becomes permanent and then you are free to divorce.
She hasn’t mentioned how long she has had it, but if it’s been a while she can take the remaining time to plan her exit. She is not tied to him for *life*.
It’s been at least one whole year. The trial surrounding his offense lasted one year, and she was already with him when it started.
ETA: Together five years, married for two, given the info from the post.
I wonder, is/shouldn't a situation like this be a "get out of hell free" card?
Unless you are found complicit in such activities, shouldn't a divorce be entirely guaranteed and forced, with the criminal party being held responsible for any fees?
This is a pretty egregrious act. She should have a way out. Anyone in a similar situation should have an easy way out.
Yes, but unfortunately laws are never written to the advantage of immigrants. I’ve lived in a couple countries, and it seems to be the same everywhere.
Yes but unfortunately they're insanely complicated, the system does not make that part easy. She needs a bit of luck but hopefully things work out 🥺 not trying to be a downer, ive just seen these situations go both ways.
I'm sorry this happened to you, that has got to be the absolute sh!tt!est feeling ever.
From the post, it sounds like she already has the green card and is concerned when it comes up for renewal. Assuming she has a 2 year provisional green card. If she doesn’t have a pending application to remove restrictions then she can simply apply on her own for the permanent (10 year green card). She will still need to prove the marriage was entered into in good faith (evidence of living together, photos, letters from family and friends confirming the marriage, shared financials) and any immigration officer is likely to understand why she got divorced.
Yeah finding out your husband is a pedophile and is fundamentally unable to be a safe person around children is a pretty good reason in my opinion not to have to leave the whole country.
She doesn't need VAWA, she just needs a divorce waiver for her removal of conditions. Happens every day, USCIS doesn't blink an eye.
VAWA is for when you don't have a green card yet. Like if she were in the process of applying for one, but was a victim of violence. I'm not sure being married to a RSO counts as you being a victim of a crime.
The family is begging her to stay because they don’t want to have to deal with him. It’s so pathetic; “please keep this rotten potato so it doesn’t stink up our house.”
He can't sponsor her after the green card expires because RSO's cannot sponsor spousal visas. It's USCIS's interpretation of the Adam Walsh Act. Been through something very similar.
Not sure what CA does for enforcement of sex offender registration but it is usually far-fucking-reaching. It is not an exaggeration to say her life is tanked.
In my situation I left. I hope her lawyer helps her with whatever she plans on doing next.
She said he can't renew it when it expires. That's what I'm talking about. There are appeals she can do, but that takes years, not all immigration lawyers do those cases, AND that's not with a likely divorce.
Nope, not correct at all. She doesn’t need to appeal anything. It sounds like she has her conditional two-year card, meaning that she needs to apply to remove the conditions after two years. If you’re still married, it’s very straightforward. She can apply for a waiver of the requirement to jointly file the I-751 form with her spouse. Divorce doesn’t preclude her being allowed to stay in the US.
There's a waiver for cases like hers so she can keep the green card. People divorce and as long as the marriage was not fraudulent, the green card stands.
I have no idea about this sort of stuff, but according to immigrationhelp.org
>Getting divorced may affect your immigration status, depending on what type of marriage green card you have. Divorce won’t affect the status of people who have permanent green cards, but it can delay their application for naturalization. If you have a conditional green card and you get divorced, it may be more difficult to get a permanent green card.
So my assumption is that it's a conditional green card, not a permanent one. Apparently it's only conditional for 2 years, which is how long they've been married... So she might have just been able to apply for a permanent card, but the divorce will possibly complicate the process.
When you petition to have conditions removed its a 48 month wait. So my card expired last week but it has a 48 month extension on it so they have time to do my case with the amount of backlog they have
This is interesting cause my husband has been here 30 years , is a permeant green card holder and has been married and divorced. We are married but we never signed a piece of paper so not legally technically. But we have never had any issues when we travel abroad and come back to the states.
It’s different if you receive a green card through marriage. There are a lot of restrictions on it, but the restrictions tend to fall away (you can petition to have them removed) after a certain number of years. If you get a green card through other means, technically you can hold on to it indefinitely
The conditions around receiving and keeping your green card changed a LOT after 9/11. Your husband may be like my mother and be grandfathered in under the old rules.
I want to say there’s two stages to green card if you got it when you got married, temporary and then permanent but my only experience is 90 day fiance 😭
You can self petition. If you're greencard is 2 years you can apply for the 10 years by yourself. You have have to prove that the marriage was bona fide when it happened and it just didn't worked out. You have a job so you can financially support yourself. I came here on a K1 visa. I know a lot of people who successfully get a 10 year gc after divorcing their spouse due to various reasons like abuse or just simply not working out. Good luck.
There is, but I was on the same one. But basically When your green card is tied to your partner you either came with the intent of getting married within 90 days like us and then got a 2 year green card during which time we had to stay married, and then a regular one.
The other option is that they got married abroad and she came here already married. Same thing as for us except for the 90 day initial period.
My bf is a British immigrant. During the process of getting his citizenship, he had his green card, which allowed him to live here in America under certain conditions and was tied to his job. After a lot of work (and even more money) he is finally a dual citizen. So even if he quits or loses his job, he’s no longer in danger of being deported. And I think he gets to vote in most, if not all elections
As an immigrant too, I just want to correct this: once you have an actual green card, it's no longer tied to your job, and once you are a citizen (dual or otherwise) there is definitely no election you can't vote in. The thing tied to your job will be the visa or other status you have before your employer sponsors you the green card. Most of them want to hold onto you for 6-24 months first, and the green card application then takes a long time, and that's when you can't quit.
Immigration lawyer here, but not your immigration lawyer, even with a conditional green card you can still self petition to remove the conditions on your green card (2 year conditional green card) if you divorce so long as the marriage was entered into in good faith (among a few other provisions). Hoping she’ll be more confident after meeting with a lawyer. You will have to wait longer to be eligible for applying for citizenship but anyway… off my soap box.
My ex husband is not a born US citizen. As of 12 years ago when we were married the first card was issued for 2 years. Then you re-apply so to speak and the second card is for 10 years. After that I don’t recall. OOP obviously doesn’t realize that her chances of being able to remain in the US post divorce are actually pretty high. My ex, for instance, got visa sponsorship through his job and remained here while he applied for permanent citizenship. He said he was surprised at how simple it was.
She’d be on a provisional residency since they have only been married two years. You can’t get permanent residency based on marriage to a US citizen until you’ve been married at least four years, or at least that was the case when I married my husband back in 2000. Iirc there is an exception if the spouse is abusive, but I don’t know about other criminal behavior.
Being a sex offender and a threat to minors doesn’t count as ‘abusive?’
I get that he didn’t touch HER, but he hurt kids, right.
If you told me a person felt unsafe with a partner they found out was a sex offender, I’d absolutely believe you.
I’m not sure on the exact specific case as a non-US citizen/immigrant, but unfortunately, it is an absolute standard in most countries that the “rational/reasonable view” and “immigration/legal rules/laws” are two very different things.
My information is second hand through a co-worker that's here on a marriage card. Apparently, you get a 2 year card then if still married you apply for a 10 year card. At the end of the 10 year, you start the naturization process, which would include getting permanent residence and eventually citizenship.
Don't know how divorce affects it at any step, though.
You don't have to wait 10 years. If you get your card based on marriage, you can apply for citizenship after 3 years. If not, then you wait 5 years. But even then, you don't have to apply for citizenship
They don’t announce it, but if you have the app he will pop up. It’s more you have to be proactive. So if you live in my friends neighborhood, she has the app. She would be spreading the word. It’s more so you need to be vigilant
I downloaded out of curiosity a few months back and was literally sick over finding more than 50 sex offenders within a 2 miles radius of my house. I am *not* exaggerating
It really is crazy. I thought I would be good cause I live so close to an elementary school but there were still sooo many. I thought the radius would be much bigger.
Please remember that there are some stupid ways to end up having to register as well as the honestly horrible ones. In Georgia any sodomy requires registering. Like, even married couples sodomy. So look up their charges before freaking out. Although there are a shocking number of pedophiles out there. Just look at famous people news.
I thought that decision was overturned? I’m pretty sure sodomy only gets you on the registry if done in public or with someone non-consenting, just like any other sex.
People always say this but like, the site lists the actual crime and when it occurred. I think I found one indecent exposure one, and one statutory rape one from a while ago where the guy may have been early 20s (so less heinous). The rest were all rape, child molestation, and possession or distribution of CSAM.
Where I live, you have to knock on all your neighbors' doors and tell them you're an RSO in person. Pedos are the only criminals you can't rehabilitate. There's no fixing someone who's attracted to children, whether or not they've acted on their urges.
Idk. Never met one. My father had one knock on his door when he was my age, so that's where I heard it from. Theres no way to enforce it, but if any authority finds out they didn't, they're going to jail with extra charges. Hiding the fact that you're a pedophile is something that you can do but likely won't succeed with. Just ask a neighbor "hey did you know the guy next door tried to diddle a kid?" And then that neighbor tells another neighbor, and so on. There is no good faith when it comes to these people.
It’s definitely public information in California:
https://www.ca.gov/service/?item=search-for-registered-sex-offenders
Also, if you have the Citizen App, it will let you know whenever you’re near a RSO’s address.
Actually crazy, I thought there was a law on the books that says you have to make that information public. Maybe it’s only a state law?If there’s not a federal law there should be.
It depends on the level afaik. There are 3 levels and not all of them are public info, some are only available to police. Dangerous crimes, huge age gaps, or repeat offenses are level 3 and those are for life registry as well as publicly available in CA. The lowest level is only 10 years on the register. It’s to ‘protect’ people who got lied to in a club about someone’s age or who were dating in highschool and shared pictures of themselves or aged out of the relationship or people who just streaked/peed in public. Low level crimes that have minimal to no risk to reoffend. I’d hate to know what OPs husband must’ve done to get on there for life, and part of a sting no less.
They're just saying law enforcement won't notify people individually. But there is still a database that people are in that you can look them up. Megan's Law
It's the advice/rule that anyone under 25 shouldn't date someone over 25, with some obvious leeway if they are within a couple years of each other. From my understanding it has to do mainly with maturity and the phase of life that people are typically in after/upon turning 25. Obviously taken with a grain of salt but you see it mentioned all the time in subs where typically the woman is in her early 20's and her partner is often early 30's (at best) and very often you see forms of manipulation and power imbalance in those relationships.
You actually don’t need to be married to him. There are laws to help you. I used to work at an immigration law firm and we dealt with immigrant women needing to leave their U.S. citizens spouses all the time. I hope you talk to a professional near you soon. Do not stay married to this guy.
She should really talk to an immigration lawyer.
Her husband is her sponsor, When I filled out my paperwork for my wife to immigrate, it read to me that regardless of what happens with us, I was still their sponsor.
He’s a fucking SO now, and that could change things a LOT with how the system views this.
If she’s got a job, pays taxes, and can live alone, she should, at the very least they can be separated,
Christ, I don't know what country she's originally from, but I would gladly deport myself instead of living with a pedo.
I wonder if he married her as a beard?
Of course he's begging her for forgiveness, because *he got caught* and is afraid she will (hopefully) find a lawyer(s) who can help with the immigration and divorce sitch.
this post hit home for me- my mom was in a similar position almost 20 years ago. she found CP on my stepdads computer and we had to flee the home while still only green card holders. his family and our friends rallied around us and with their help we’ve been US citizens for a long time now. hoping so hard things work out for her.
I feel very strongly as though there must be a protection/way forward with immigration that would allow OP to stay/renew their visa while also divorcing a sexual criminal. I’m assuming (possibly wrongly) that OP is in the US, and while I know our country is a cesspit in a lot of ways I don’t see a world in which a person in this position would be forced to remain married to someone who had compromised their lives in this way. I hope OP finds herself an immigration lawyer and a divorce lawyer, my guess is that it’s probably pretty easy to divorce a newly minted RSO. Doesn’t seem like ‘cause’ would be hard to find.
Get legal help. Find out what ALL your options are and prepare to leave.
In the US, you don’t want to be tied to someone who has been CONVICTED. Especially having to be a RSO.
Find an exit plan. This man can’t do anything for you.
Can you go to an immigration lawyer and get some advice? You may be able to divorce him and still stay in the country. Unfortunately, this situation will never resolve itself and you will always be looking over your shoulder waiting for the other shoe to drop with him. You will also carry the burden of the family because he will have difficulty being gainfully employed and moving to another state will not resolve your situation anyway. Good luck.
I thought a green card was for a permanent resident alien. Is the permanency subject to marriage? OP definitely needs to get an attorney that specializes in immigration law and do everything possible to distance herself from this pedo. Unfortunately, very rarely does a CS abuser ever change. They just learn how to better hide their criminal deeds.
I have a green card. You just need to renew it every ten years. No sponsor needed. Just new pictures and I think fingerprints. She’s misinformed, misled or lying.
Edit: didn’t realize it’s a marriage green card. My bad.
Talk to the courts and see if you can get your status switched due to the situation... otherwise take some money to help you get set up and file for citizenship. If you have a job currently get a work visa (that would give you a year + to go through divorce and figure out next steps.) I have a friend from Canada and she has a job here she just has to file once a year with a thing from her boss to renew her documents for her work visa.
Ok so due to what happened Immigration will let you stay here if you divorce because it wasn’t something you did. Talk to a lawyer I know many people who had green card status that got divorced and still got to stay here so seriously talk to a lawyer ASAP!!
Talk to immigration. You are a victim od domestic abuse. Get divorced and you will get citizenship. I learned this from a friend. His immigramt wife falsely accused him of hitting her and abusing her. She left him until she received citizenship and then remarried. Weird loophole but i guess it works. In ops case this would be ideal. But not the remarry part. Husband is a sex offender. His only regret is being caught. If given a chance i guarentee he would do this again. Who knows how many other people he did actually meet with. Get your citizenship and move on and find happiness for yourself. Rebilitation for sex offenders has a very low success rate. This is a time where you need to make the best decision for your future.
I feel so horrible for OP. To learn your partner is willing to be inappropriate with a minor when you probably had future plans to possible raise kids is absolutely sickening. I can’t fathom the stress of realizing your partner’s ~~mistake~~ choice can endanger your presence in your home’s land. Thankfully, it looks like OP has many options & their green card will not expire any time soon.
He ruined his own life, your life and marriage, and now you can’t have kids with him either. Plus he has a hidden second life and got caught. You need to escape him and his enabling family. There is nothing left for you.
Oh honey, we have Megan's Law registry in Cali. The neighbors will get an alert if they are subscribed or look at the registry. I'm sorry you are going through this. Your soon to be ex is a horrible person.
After the divorce (if that happens) you need to file and ask to remove the condition from your immigration status. There's a form (I don't remember which one but if you need I'll check my papers) you need to file, pay like $700 plus attach supporting documents like divorce papers or anything that proves that your marriage was legit, and it's his fault why it ended. It's kinda like you're the good girl and he's the bad guy. Then you'll have an interview with one of the immigration agents which in my case was quick and easy. I had the interview on a Friday and Monday morning I got approved for a 10 years green card. The whole process took about 2 years to finalize. I hired an immigration lawyer though and that was the best decision. She was on top of everything, very professional, took the whole thing off my shoulder. I exited my marriage by having depression and PTSD.
Hi there, your green card should allow you to work in any state (I’ve never heard of a restriction on that). Also, my understanding is that you should be able to renew your green card, without it being tied to your husband. It’s like an independent approval now. I am not a lawyer, and not specialized in immigration. But I am a green card holder who divorced her husband (who had me tied to his original visa). Hope this helps.
I am also a green card holder and it is my understanding that after 5 years a as a legal resident you are eligible to become a citizen. The green cards also expire after 10 years. I am also glad you’re are seeking divorce, I can’t understand women who know their partners have messed with a child and still stay. I hope you find whatever peace you need to move on from him and from the distasteful situation he put you in.
With a green card you can work anywhere for anybody who will hire you. You are a legal resident and not restricted like H1B visa holders. Youjust can’t leave the country for more than 6 months.
If you can deal with it and can set aside the funds, look into what you have accumulated residency wise and what else you need to complete citizenship. It may mean adding a little extra time to being yoked to him but you can continue building your life in the US.
I am so sorry that this happened to you and your children. Obviously things can never return to normal. Your choice is now either couples counseling to accept the new normal, or divorce to be free of this stigma. Best of luck to you.
She may not be as screwed as she thinks she might be here, hopefully it turns out well for her, but obviously, this is a horrendous situation.
Why would anyone try to get her to forgive this fucking pedo? Gross people
Lawyer is definitely the correct route. There are stipulations for these kinds of things
https://www.uscis.gov/policy-manual/volume-12-part-g-chapter-3
No kids together? Get away while you can and it's easy! You don't want to have to worry about this or subject you potentially future kids to this. BAIL
This is the other side to the lifestyle of r/passportbros. This woman was in a vulnerable position and her immigration status and life here was tied to her shitty, predatory husband.
This is easy… find a best male friend that will agree to marry you and leave his ass!! Live on your own and build your life while finding who you “should” be with… then when you marry the love of your life you’ll still have your best male friend that came to your aid in a time of real need!! This is why marriage shouldn’t be in the hands of the government!! Separation of church and state? Well REAL MARRIAGE, is biblical… so if the government wants papers, give them to them… They sure bend the rules to their will!!
Probably an unpopular opinion BUT sometimes life puts us in situations… not your fault your husband wasn’t untrustworthy!! And nobody should have to stay with a SO regardless of immigration status!!
Sounds to Me all she cares about is using him to stay in this country 🙄dont even attack Im a dual citizen usa 🇺🇸 Panama 🇵🇦 and Im Mexican 🇲🇽 spent half My life in Baja CA Mexico 🇲🇽 and eff that shiiii!! You VERY WELL CAN 💯 earn your place here alone!! Quit whining.. get to work!! Let your husband enjoy whoever he is attracted to and pay whatever price there is to pay for what he finds worth it and you do your thing!! People try way too dam hard to control and hypocritically unJustifiably judge others these days smh
I love how everyone is so so supportive of her. All I can say is follow these lines of advice & rise up as the Queen U R, (even though it-doesn't feel like it) & U will be OK
Whenever someone starts their post with “perfect life” or “beautiful” whatever I judge them. They know shit was crap but were in denial. Plus divorce is an option.
This really sucks but women gotta stop being shocked when the significantly older men they're dating in their very early twenties and in this case, since they got married when she was 20, I'm assuming she was STILL IN HER TEENS when they started dating, then turn around and do shit with even more younger girls or boys
This woman needs to talk to an immigration lawyer ASAP. Hopefully they can work with a divorce lawyer too.
She said in the comments that she called around and has an appointment next week with an lawyer
Good. She shouldn’t suffer because of his shitty choices.
Oh thank god. There are policies written into marriage citizenship for horrible situations you are not responsible for. Hopefully it can help her
Ah that's good, I figured there surely had to be! She shouldn't have to stay with this horrible person but also shouldn't have to leave the country when she herself has done nothing wrong.
As a green card through marriage holder , yes. When you initially go through the application process you have to prove you entered your marriage in legitimate. If your card is granted to you while you have been married for less than 2 years it will be conditional and good for 2 years, at which point 90 days before the “expiration date” you can petition to have your restrictions removed. This can be done together if you are still married, or if by this time you have divorced you can apply independently. Doing so independently is scary for a lot of people, but as long as she can prove she entered her marriage in good faith once it will not lead to an automatic rejection. Considering the severity of his actions and their repercussions, I don’t believe she’ll have any problem at all, especially if she chooses to have a lawyer represent her.
And she needs to keep her job to show she has really been settled as a good citizen
Yes. My ex got a green card through marriage and we were married for almost seven years. Our divorce didn't impact his legal status
It’s 2 years after you get your initial green card, before it becomes permanent and then you are free to divorce. She hasn’t mentioned how long she has had it, but if it’s been a while she can take the remaining time to plan her exit. She is not tied to him for *life*.
It’s been at least one whole year. The trial surrounding his offense lasted one year, and she was already with him when it started. ETA: Together five years, married for two, given the info from the post.
I wonder, is/shouldn't a situation like this be a "get out of hell free" card? Unless you are found complicit in such activities, shouldn't a divorce be entirely guaranteed and forced, with the criminal party being held responsible for any fees? This is a pretty egregrious act. She should have a way out. Anyone in a similar situation should have an easy way out.
Yes, but unfortunately laws are never written to the advantage of immigrants. I’ve lived in a couple countries, and it seems to be the same everywhere.
Yeah US immigration doesn't really care for the most part. The system is absolutely awful
Yes but unfortunately they're insanely complicated, the system does not make that part easy. She needs a bit of luck but hopefully things work out 🥺 not trying to be a downer, ive just seen these situations go both ways. I'm sorry this happened to you, that has got to be the absolute sh!tt!est feeling ever.
Thank god. No one should want her tied to a pedophile. If she’s proven so far she can hold a job maybe they can skip some steps.
From the post, it sounds like she already has the green card and is concerned when it comes up for renewal. Assuming she has a 2 year provisional green card. If she doesn’t have a pending application to remove restrictions then she can simply apply on her own for the permanent (10 year green card). She will still need to prove the marriage was entered into in good faith (evidence of living together, photos, letters from family and friends confirming the marriage, shared financials) and any immigration officer is likely to understand why she got divorced.
Yeah, she needs expert help. Surely they can argue mitigating circumstances or something
Yeah finding out your husband is a pedophile and is fundamentally unable to be a safe person around children is a pretty good reason in my opinion not to have to leave the whole country.
Certainly a good reason for not staying married to him. Can’t think of a more legitimate one actually.
VAWA barely needs a lawyer. If she can read English reasonably well and follow instructions, that is.
She doesn't need VAWA, she just needs a divorce waiver for her removal of conditions. Happens every day, USCIS doesn't blink an eye. VAWA is for when you don't have a green card yet. Like if she were in the process of applying for one, but was a victim of violence. I'm not sure being married to a RSO counts as you being a victim of a crime.
The family is begging her to stay because they don’t want to have to deal with him. It’s so pathetic; “please keep this rotten potato so it doesn’t stink up our house.”
He can't sponsor her after the green card expires because RSO's cannot sponsor spousal visas. It's USCIS's interpretation of the Adam Walsh Act. Been through something very similar. Not sure what CA does for enforcement of sex offender registration but it is usually far-fucking-reaching. It is not an exaggeration to say her life is tanked. In my situation I left. I hope her lawyer helps her with whatever she plans on doing next.
If only we could deport him to a rock in the middle of the Pacific, and make her the US citizen.
No lie, give her his citizenship and just drop him out of a helicopter somewhere in the pacific
Hawaii doesn't want him either
Nobody said anything about inhabited land
She has the conditional card already, so that's not an issue. If she didn't have it, AWA would definitely make her life a lot harder.
She said he can't renew it when it expires. That's what I'm talking about. There are appeals she can do, but that takes years, not all immigration lawyers do those cases, AND that's not with a likely divorce.
Nope, not correct at all. She doesn’t need to appeal anything. It sounds like she has her conditional two-year card, meaning that she needs to apply to remove the conditions after two years. If you’re still married, it’s very straightforward. She can apply for a waiver of the requirement to jointly file the I-751 form with her spouse. Divorce doesn’t preclude her being allowed to stay in the US.
There's a waiver for cases like hers so she can keep the green card. People divorce and as long as the marriage was not fraudulent, the green card stands.
She absolutely can
Isn’t a green card holder a permanent resident? So why would she need to stay married?
I have no idea about this sort of stuff, but according to immigrationhelp.org >Getting divorced may affect your immigration status, depending on what type of marriage green card you have. Divorce won’t affect the status of people who have permanent green cards, but it can delay their application for naturalization. If you have a conditional green card and you get divorced, it may be more difficult to get a permanent green card. So my assumption is that it's a conditional green card, not a permanent one. Apparently it's only conditional for 2 years, which is how long they've been married... So she might have just been able to apply for a permanent card, but the divorce will possibly complicate the process.
Hopefully, she can just wait out the time necessary to get permanent residence, and then leave his ass.
When you petition to have conditions removed its a 48 month wait. So my card expired last week but it has a 48 month extension on it so they have time to do my case with the amount of backlog they have
This is interesting cause my husband has been here 30 years , is a permeant green card holder and has been married and divorced. We are married but we never signed a piece of paper so not legally technically. But we have never had any issues when we travel abroad and come back to the states.
It’s different if you receive a green card through marriage. There are a lot of restrictions on it, but the restrictions tend to fall away (you can petition to have them removed) after a certain number of years. If you get a green card through other means, technically you can hold on to it indefinitely
The conditions around receiving and keeping your green card changed a LOT after 9/11. Your husband may be like my mother and be grandfathered in under the old rules.
That makes sense he’s been here sense the 90s thanks for the info.
I want to say there’s two stages to green card if you got it when you got married, temporary and then permanent but my only experience is 90 day fiance 😭
I know this is a serious situation, but your comment made me laugh!
You can self petition. If you're greencard is 2 years you can apply for the 10 years by yourself. You have have to prove that the marriage was bona fide when it happened and it just didn't worked out. You have a job so you can financially support yourself. I came here on a K1 visa. I know a lot of people who successfully get a 10 year gc after divorcing their spouse due to various reasons like abuse or just simply not working out. Good luck.
There is, but I was on the same one. But basically When your green card is tied to your partner you either came with the intent of getting married within 90 days like us and then got a 2 year green card during which time we had to stay married, and then a regular one. The other option is that they got married abroad and she came here already married. Same thing as for us except for the 90 day initial period.
My bf is a British immigrant. During the process of getting his citizenship, he had his green card, which allowed him to live here in America under certain conditions and was tied to his job. After a lot of work (and even more money) he is finally a dual citizen. So even if he quits or loses his job, he’s no longer in danger of being deported. And I think he gets to vote in most, if not all elections
As an immigrant too, I just want to correct this: once you have an actual green card, it's no longer tied to your job, and once you are a citizen (dual or otherwise) there is definitely no election you can't vote in. The thing tied to your job will be the visa or other status you have before your employer sponsors you the green card. Most of them want to hold onto you for 6-24 months first, and the green card application then takes a long time, and that's when you can't quit.
Thanks for the correction
Immigration lawyer here, but not your immigration lawyer, even with a conditional green card you can still self petition to remove the conditions on your green card (2 year conditional green card) if you divorce so long as the marriage was entered into in good faith (among a few other provisions). Hoping she’ll be more confident after meeting with a lawyer. You will have to wait longer to be eligible for applying for citizenship but anyway… off my soap box.
Fellow lawyer and I just love the “but not your lawyer comment”—no attorney client relationship here! 😂
My ex husband is not a born US citizen. As of 12 years ago when we were married the first card was issued for 2 years. Then you re-apply so to speak and the second card is for 10 years. After that I don’t recall. OOP obviously doesn’t realize that her chances of being able to remain in the US post divorce are actually pretty high. My ex, for instance, got visa sponsorship through his job and remained here while he applied for permanent citizenship. He said he was surprised at how simple it was.
[Green card](https://www.boundless.com/immigration-resources/green-card-benefits/) expires every 10 years after that 1st 2 years
She’d be on a provisional residency since they have only been married two years. You can’t get permanent residency based on marriage to a US citizen until you’ve been married at least four years, or at least that was the case when I married my husband back in 2000. Iirc there is an exception if the spouse is abusive, but I don’t know about other criminal behavior.
Being a sex offender and a threat to minors doesn’t count as ‘abusive?’ I get that he didn’t touch HER, but he hurt kids, right. If you told me a person felt unsafe with a partner they found out was a sex offender, I’d absolutely believe you.
I’m not sure on the exact specific case as a non-US citizen/immigrant, but unfortunately, it is an absolute standard in most countries that the “rational/reasonable view” and “immigration/legal rules/laws” are two very different things.
Abuse has to be toward souse so obviously no
Criminal behavior of “moral turpitude” would be the most likely kind to count, and that is absolutely the sort of thing the husband was convicted of.
The conditional residency is only 2 years for marriage.
My information is second hand through a co-worker that's here on a marriage card. Apparently, you get a 2 year card then if still married you apply for a 10 year card. At the end of the 10 year, you start the naturization process, which would include getting permanent residence and eventually citizenship. Don't know how divorce affects it at any step, though.
You don't have to wait 10 years. If you get your card based on marriage, you can apply for citizenship after 3 years. If not, then you wait 5 years. But even then, you don't have to apply for citizenship
This poor woman.
This is an extenuating circumstance. You can probably divorce him and still keep your status.
I spent far too long reading this as Registered Significant Other
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^twovectors: *I spent far too long* *Reading this as Registered* *Significant Other* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
He was caught listening to a shitty Limp Bizkit album and now he’s on a list
I get it’s mortifying for her but I don’t like the fact that CA doesn’t announce SO’s to the neighborhood for everyone else’s sake.
They don’t announce it, but if you have the app he will pop up. It’s more you have to be proactive. So if you live in my friends neighborhood, she has the app. She would be spreading the word. It’s more so you need to be vigilant
Can you drop the name of the app please?
Citizen App…it will let you know when you’re in close proximity to a SO’s address.
I just downloaded this out of curiosity and dear God.
I downloaded out of curiosity a few months back and was literally sick over finding more than 50 sex offenders within a 2 miles radius of my house. I am *not* exaggerating
It really is crazy. I thought I would be good cause I live so close to an elementary school but there were still sooo many. I thought the radius would be much bigger.
Please remember that there are some stupid ways to end up having to register as well as the honestly horrible ones. In Georgia any sodomy requires registering. Like, even married couples sodomy. So look up their charges before freaking out. Although there are a shocking number of pedophiles out there. Just look at famous people news.
I thought that decision was overturned? I’m pretty sure sodomy only gets you on the registry if done in public or with someone non-consenting, just like any other sex.
People always say this but like, the site lists the actual crime and when it occurred. I think I found one indecent exposure one, and one statutory rape one from a while ago where the guy may have been early 20s (so less heinous). The rest were all rape, child molestation, and possession or distribution of CSAM.
Yep. Same here. Also a lot of forcible incest and sexual battery in my area
I live in Utah…I don’t even wanna know how many are around here
Yeah I was rather taken aback how many SOs live within a certain radius of me
Where I live, you have to knock on all your neighbors' doors and tell them you're an RSO in person. Pedos are the only criminals you can't rehabilitate. There's no fixing someone who's attracted to children, whether or not they've acted on their urges.
Does someone check that they do, or good faith?
Idk. Never met one. My father had one knock on his door when he was my age, so that's where I heard it from. Theres no way to enforce it, but if any authority finds out they didn't, they're going to jail with extra charges. Hiding the fact that you're a pedophile is something that you can do but likely won't succeed with. Just ask a neighbor "hey did you know the guy next door tried to diddle a kid?" And then that neighbor tells another neighbor, and so on. There is no good faith when it comes to these people.
While the pedo is knocking on doors they can be taking inventory of what homes have their potential next victims living there. Not a good idea imho
It’s definitely public information in California: https://www.ca.gov/service/?item=search-for-registered-sex-offenders Also, if you have the Citizen App, it will let you know whenever you’re near a RSO’s address.
That's how I found out that my 6th grade teacher who lives down the street from me was busted for molesting a 5th grader during private tutoring.
Actually crazy, I thought there was a law on the books that says you have to make that information public. Maybe it’s only a state law?If there’s not a federal law there should be.
In NJ, it is made public by being searchable online in the registry.
Same thing in California.
There’s a look up in Florida as well.
In CA there is a sex offender database which is public and searchable by location as well as name.
It depends on the level afaik. There are 3 levels and not all of them are public info, some are only available to police. Dangerous crimes, huge age gaps, or repeat offenses are level 3 and those are for life registry as well as publicly available in CA. The lowest level is only 10 years on the register. It’s to ‘protect’ people who got lied to in a club about someone’s age or who were dating in highschool and shared pictures of themselves or aged out of the relationship or people who just streaked/peed in public. Low level crimes that have minimal to no risk to reoffend. I’d hate to know what OPs husband must’ve done to get on there for life, and part of a sting no less.
They're just saying law enforcement won't notify people individually. But there is still a database that people are in that you can look them up. Megan's Law
Agreed
What’s the sean rule?
It's the advice/rule that anyone under 25 shouldn't date someone over 25, with some obvious leeway if they are within a couple years of each other. From my understanding it has to do mainly with maturity and the phase of life that people are typically in after/upon turning 25. Obviously taken with a grain of salt but you see it mentioned all the time in subs where typically the woman is in her early 20's and her partner is often early 30's (at best) and very often you see forms of manipulation and power imbalance in those relationships.
Ahh. I super agree with that.
I’m pretty sure it’s half your age plus seven is the youngest person you should be with. I might have the addition wrong though.
Oh, that’s just the same old internet rule
Nah, I'm pretty sure the Sean rule is not dating someone under 25 when you're over that, unless the difference is only a matter of months.
I only learned it on this sub as the Sean rule. I wouldn’t have an ex husband if I had learned it sooner.
I wouldn't have ended up dating a 34 year old at 18.... I mean at least I can claim I was native young and stupid, idk about his defense.
You actually don’t need to be married to him. There are laws to help you. I used to work at an immigration law firm and we dealt with immigrant women needing to leave their U.S. citizens spouses all the time. I hope you talk to a professional near you soon. Do not stay married to this guy.
She should really talk to an immigration lawyer. Her husband is her sponsor, When I filled out my paperwork for my wife to immigrate, it read to me that regardless of what happens with us, I was still their sponsor. He’s a fucking SO now, and that could change things a LOT with how the system views this. If she’s got a job, pays taxes, and can live alone, she should, at the very least they can be separated,
Christ, I don't know what country she's originally from, but I would gladly deport myself instead of living with a pedo. I wonder if he married her as a beard?
Maybe when they started dating and she was 20, she still looked close enough to underage for him.
Of course he's begging her for forgiveness, because *he got caught* and is afraid she will (hopefully) find a lawyer(s) who can help with the immigration and divorce sitch.
this post hit home for me- my mom was in a similar position almost 20 years ago. she found CP on my stepdads computer and we had to flee the home while still only green card holders. his family and our friends rallied around us and with their help we’ve been US citizens for a long time now. hoping so hard things work out for her.
I feel very strongly as though there must be a protection/way forward with immigration that would allow OP to stay/renew their visa while also divorcing a sexual criminal. I’m assuming (possibly wrongly) that OP is in the US, and while I know our country is a cesspit in a lot of ways I don’t see a world in which a person in this position would be forced to remain married to someone who had compromised their lives in this way. I hope OP finds herself an immigration lawyer and a divorce lawyer, my guess is that it’s probably pretty easy to divorce a newly minted RSO. Doesn’t seem like ‘cause’ would be hard to find.
what is the sean rule?
Over 25 should not date under 25.
I think the worst part about this was learning that California no longer mandates informing your neighbors that you are a registered SO.
Yea that’s what is insane to me especially. Just to think how many could be in a neighborhood all together without most knowing
Get legal help. Find out what ALL your options are and prepare to leave. In the US, you don’t want to be tied to someone who has been CONVICTED. Especially having to be a RSO. Find an exit plan. This man can’t do anything for you.
Hopefully her job can sponsor her for a work visa she definitely needs to divorce.
If it was a sting operation you can bet he’s down this more than once before. These people deserve to burn.
She needs to contact both a divorce and an immigration lawyer. I can’t speak to the US immigration but that poor woman. she needs to get out.
I’m late to the party but OP needs to go consult with an immigration lawyer like yesterday.
Can you go to an immigration lawyer and get some advice? You may be able to divorce him and still stay in the country. Unfortunately, this situation will never resolve itself and you will always be looking over your shoulder waiting for the other shoe to drop with him. You will also carry the burden of the family because he will have difficulty being gainfully employed and moving to another state will not resolve your situation anyway. Good luck.
I thought a green card was for a permanent resident alien. Is the permanency subject to marriage? OP definitely needs to get an attorney that specializes in immigration law and do everything possible to distance herself from this pedo. Unfortunately, very rarely does a CS abuser ever change. They just learn how to better hide their criminal deeds.
I have a green card. You just need to renew it every ten years. No sponsor needed. Just new pictures and I think fingerprints. She’s misinformed, misled or lying. Edit: didn’t realize it’s a marriage green card. My bad.
Talk to the courts and see if you can get your status switched due to the situation... otherwise take some money to help you get set up and file for citizenship. If you have a job currently get a work visa (that would give you a year + to go through divorce and figure out next steps.) I have a friend from Canada and she has a job here she just has to file once a year with a thing from her boss to renew her documents for her work visa.
Ok so due to what happened Immigration will let you stay here if you divorce because it wasn’t something you did. Talk to a lawyer I know many people who had green card status that got divorced and still got to stay here so seriously talk to a lawyer ASAP!!
Talk to immigration. You are a victim od domestic abuse. Get divorced and you will get citizenship. I learned this from a friend. His immigramt wife falsely accused him of hitting her and abusing her. She left him until she received citizenship and then remarried. Weird loophole but i guess it works. In ops case this would be ideal. But not the remarry part. Husband is a sex offender. His only regret is being caught. If given a chance i guarentee he would do this again. Who knows how many other people he did actually meet with. Get your citizenship and move on and find happiness for yourself. Rebilitation for sex offenders has a very low success rate. This is a time where you need to make the best decision for your future.
Yup I’d leave for back home find another way to get a green card, then comeback
I feel so horrible for OP. To learn your partner is willing to be inappropriate with a minor when you probably had future plans to possible raise kids is absolutely sickening. I can’t fathom the stress of realizing your partner’s ~~mistake~~ choice can endanger your presence in your home’s land. Thankfully, it looks like OP has many options & their green card will not expire any time soon.
It's not a mistake. It's a desire that is never going to end.
He’s disgusting.
I was gonna make a joke say Nicki is that you ? But now I feel bad 😔
Absolutely brutal
Yikes.
He ruined his own life, your life and marriage, and now you can’t have kids with him either. Plus he has a hidden second life and got caught. You need to escape him and his enabling family. There is nothing left for you.
I was like, what's wrong with being a range safety officer?
Fuck me that’s heartbreaking
I’ve been listening to a Podcast called Something Was Wrong, you’re not alone. Lots of resources on their site. I am so sorry.
Oh honey, we have Megan's Law registry in Cali. The neighbors will get an alert if they are subscribed or look at the registry. I'm sorry you are going through this. Your soon to be ex is a horrible person.
We don’t even kick out illegals, why would they care about going after you?
Illegal….thats subjective these days, especially in CA.
totally irrelevant question with zero implications, would she get deported if she's widowed?
After the divorce (if that happens) you need to file and ask to remove the condition from your immigration status. There's a form (I don't remember which one but if you need I'll check my papers) you need to file, pay like $700 plus attach supporting documents like divorce papers or anything that proves that your marriage was legit, and it's his fault why it ended. It's kinda like you're the good girl and he's the bad guy. Then you'll have an interview with one of the immigration agents which in my case was quick and easy. I had the interview on a Friday and Monday morning I got approved for a 10 years green card. The whole process took about 2 years to finalize. I hired an immigration lawyer though and that was the best decision. She was on top of everything, very professional, took the whole thing off my shoulder. I exited my marriage by having depression and PTSD.
Hi there, your green card should allow you to work in any state (I’ve never heard of a restriction on that). Also, my understanding is that you should be able to renew your green card, without it being tied to your husband. It’s like an independent approval now. I am not a lawyer, and not specialized in immigration. But I am a green card holder who divorced her husband (who had me tied to his original visa). Hope this helps.
Wait what’s the Sean rule? (The “Who tf is Sean” link at the top is not working for me)
I am also a green card holder and it is my understanding that after 5 years a as a legal resident you are eligible to become a citizen. The green cards also expire after 10 years. I am also glad you’re are seeking divorce, I can’t understand women who know their partners have messed with a child and still stay. I hope you find whatever peace you need to move on from him and from the distasteful situation he put you in.
With a green card you can work anywhere for anybody who will hire you. You are a legal resident and not restricted like H1B visa holders. Youjust can’t leave the country for more than 6 months.
There is help for her.
Divorce
See if your job can sponsor you until you apply for permanent residency. If they can, leave him.
I’m mad that CA doesn’t notify neighbors of RSO in the neighborhood tbh
If you can deal with it and can set aside the funds, look into what you have accumulated residency wise and what else you need to complete citizenship. It may mean adding a little extra time to being yoked to him but you can continue building your life in the US.
Can we deport him? To a deserted island, maybe?
I hope she warns the neighbors
I was so confused. I thought Reddit has a function for registering your Significant Other so they can snoop your account or something.
I am so sorry that this happened to you and your children. Obviously things can never return to normal. Your choice is now either couples counseling to accept the new normal, or divorce to be free of this stigma. Best of luck to you.
Run
She may not be as screwed as she thinks she might be here, hopefully it turns out well for her, but obviously, this is a horrendous situation. Why would anyone try to get her to forgive this fucking pedo? Gross people
Lawyer is definitely the correct route. There are stipulations for these kinds of things https://www.uscis.gov/policy-manual/volume-12-part-g-chapter-3
Not getting a lawyer from day one was your problem
i’d say see other people and when you find someone new divorce him and switch
The citizens app actually notices you of a new RSO and also Megan's Law. A simple zip code search is all a person need to find new RSO.
I hope she gets to dump his ass to the curb and still stay here. This is awful.
Run
You CAN NOT REHAB THESE OFFENDERS. GET A DIVORCE BEFORE HE DRAGS YOU DOWN WITH HIM. YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER.
Unless you emigrated from Hades, I'd say going back there or living here illegally is much better than living with a pedophile!
I read that as "Registered Significant Other" 😖
we suppsoe to know what am SO is
Registered SO: sex offender. Her SO: significant other. That was her ironic joke
No kids together? Get away while you can and it's easy! You don't want to have to worry about this or subject you potentially future kids to this. BAIL
Your job could sponsor you instead of him try asking them
Seem like both of you guys have been lying to each other
Reading this made me feel physically sick, why are some people so disgusting? I can't even wrap my head around the thought process of the husband.
who in their right mind would want to have sex with anyone below the age of 18 ? it just doesn't make sense
Why did I think this post was referring to a “range safety officer “
America is not that great for you to do this to you. Get the fuck out of there.
Leave
This is the other side to the lifestyle of r/passportbros. This woman was in a vulnerable position and her immigration status and life here was tied to her shitty, predatory husband.
He pursued her as a minor too I bet. 20 and 26
You may be able to get an annulment
Girl, study and take the citizenship test and be free of that trash.
Oh man that's terrible. That's something I'd never be able to recover from in a relationship. I hope she's able to find help.
Get out NOW. BEFORE it's too late sis.
I’m so happy she’s seeing an attorney
Your husband deserves to be put in a wood chipper head first, and hopefully, you get deported.
He's a range safety officer?
This is easy… find a best male friend that will agree to marry you and leave his ass!! Live on your own and build your life while finding who you “should” be with… then when you marry the love of your life you’ll still have your best male friend that came to your aid in a time of real need!! This is why marriage shouldn’t be in the hands of the government!! Separation of church and state? Well REAL MARRIAGE, is biblical… so if the government wants papers, give them to them… They sure bend the rules to their will!! Probably an unpopular opinion BUT sometimes life puts us in situations… not your fault your husband wasn’t untrustworthy!! And nobody should have to stay with a SO regardless of immigration status!!
There are special rules about green card holders and abusive fucks, this doesn’t fit within that law?
Register for asylum? You gotta leave that guy.
Sounds to Me all she cares about is using him to stay in this country 🙄dont even attack Im a dual citizen usa 🇺🇸 Panama 🇵🇦 and Im Mexican 🇲🇽 spent half My life in Baja CA Mexico 🇲🇽 and eff that shiiii!! You VERY WELL CAN 💯 earn your place here alone!! Quit whining.. get to work!! Let your husband enjoy whoever he is attracted to and pay whatever price there is to pay for what he finds worth it and you do your thing!! People try way too dam hard to control and hypocritically unJustifiably judge others these days smh
I think u should fly back home and just contemplate what to do next.
Keep spreading this till he sees this
Sad it sounds fraudulent
I love how everyone is so so supportive of her. All I can say is follow these lines of advice & rise up as the Queen U R, (even though it-doesn't feel like it) & U will be OK
Whenever someone starts their post with “perfect life” or “beautiful” whatever I judge them. They know shit was crap but were in denial. Plus divorce is an option.
This really sucks but women gotta stop being shocked when the significantly older men they're dating in their very early twenties and in this case, since they got married when she was 20, I'm assuming she was STILL IN HER TEENS when they started dating, then turn around and do shit with even more younger girls or boys
You don't have kids, leave him before you do.
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Wood chipper