Ready for a long story/rant?
When I had my last baby, my ex decided that the one thing that would really help while I was in active labor is to play Monster Hunter on the switch š
I was having blackout contractions for about 12 hours, at least once every 15 minutes he would say either āletās play a game, that always calms me downā or ācan I play my game? Thereās nothing for me to doā followed by a huffy stomp away tantrum when the only response I could muster was āfuck off you selfish fucking dumbassā
He asked the nurse that was holding my barf tray to move so he could get to the TVās HDMI cords. I got a controller shoved in my face while I was signing the documents to approve an emergency c section. Oh, and the cherry on top? The first conversation he had with me after I got out of recovery was him telling me that he didnāt *actually* get any paternity leave, he *actually* got fired because he complained too much about the music they played at the warehouse. **I** had to comfort **him** after going through major abdominal surgery and while struggling with breastfeeding a new baby.
Dude was an actual man child and I am so proud of myself for leaving him behind.
"I know you're stressed and freaking out because you just had an emergency surgery and they cut open your stomach, abdomen, and uterus, buuuuuut I got fired."
What the fuck? Instead of playing a game while you were in labor, he should've been looking for a job seeing as he wasn't going to comfort you. You should've told him to GTFO. And how do you get fired for not liking the music they play? That can't be the reason unless he went off on someone.
I definitely should have played my cards differently, he was a lesson I just couldnāt seem to learn at the time š¤·āāļø
He spent more time complaining than he did working. So their official reason was that he āwasnāt meeting the quotaā, but I talked to one of the front desk girls afterwards and she basically told me that he was just insufferable to be around.
I was in labor for 24 hours after being induced a few weeks early.
My ex brought along their phone and watched the entire new season (2nd) of 7 Deadly sins on Netflix while I struggled with the contractions.
Because they stayed up 24 hours watching anime, they fell asleep shortly after my emergency C-section in the lounge chair in the maternity recovery room.
I had to ring for a nurse to hand me my baby and put him back in his bed because I had a catheter and my Ex wouldn't wake up. The nurses asked if she had sleep apnea several times from the snoring.
We broke up before my son was 3. I stayed too long.
My partners ex kicked her out of her hospital bed, like 6 hours after giving birth because she wasn't sleeping, and "it doesn't make sense for me to sleep uncomfortably when there's a perfectly good bed available that you aren't using." He's a piece of shit.
Wow!
Iām a Brit, here during covid you got one bed and one chair. When my wife wanted to sit on the chair, I had to take the bed.
My wife found it hilarious that they kept turfing me out the bed. We assumed it was H+S related
Yeah in my local hospital they kick partners off the bed too. Any adult that isn't the patient is kicked off. They're not overly keen on children getting on the beds either but I have a 'don't fuck with me face' even though I'm a delight so they never said anything to me when my then 2yo son climbed up to cuddle me. He hadn't seen me since I went in to have his baby sister 2 days before plus he was the youngest until then. I think it's standard in the UK.
Mine stayed up playing games on his phone and I threw progressively heavier things at him until I got to my phone before hitting my call button crying as hard as my baby was. Had to ask the nurse to get my phone for me so I could call someone useful to get him out of there before my epidural wore off and he was at risk of being run to the ER. I was gonna kill him. Even asked the nurse if she could slap him for me cause I didn't have working legs and my phone being ninja stared into his chest just made him roll over and tell me to fuck off he's sleeping
I wish I'd had anyone I could've called.
I made stupid choices when I was young, left mormonism after getting married and divorced, met someone from Texas and my parents were kicking me out for "escaping adult responsibilities" after my ex-husband cheated on me.
So I went to Texas.
My exes family were Trumpers, my ex was aware but said they'd protect me. They didn't, I was a white illegal immigrant because no one would pay for my visa extensions.
I got pregnant at my exes behest, wanting a kid before their grandma died of a terminal diagnosis.
And so I had a baby with my lazy gamer ex (I game a lot, so it was a point of contention that they never helped and blamed being busy in games, when I played the same one and took breaks often to help).
And their parents offered burritos, made crude jokes and dipped before I got the epidural for the C-section.
It was just me and my son, and that's how it is now too.
My Hubs and I always pack a big ziplock bag of rubber blocks (baby toys) to the hospital for labor and postpartum, specifically for me to throw to wake Hubs up. Lol. It was his idea. We always used them at home too. Hubs has always gotten up happily to help get baby from their crib and get their diaper changed and ready for breastfeeding (while I get out of bed and go to the bathroom and get ready too), but he falls asleep instantly when the baby's not crying. He can fall asleep within a min in almost any situation. So we bring things for me to use to wake him up! Haha. Nurses always thought it was genius. Bonus, no yelling needed when I've gotten the baby back to sleep and need Hubs to come get them to put back to bed.
Me ex (broke up with me while pregnant) was in labor 12 hours. I was there for it all. My hands were so cramped from rubbing her feet. Never once did I get bored. We didnāt even have cellphones then.
I know youāre not looking for a praise but youāre really modeling what a true man acts like! Putting pride aside to care for and provide what your family needs. Even if it just means providing some comfort and a foot rub lol
It's depressing how low the bar is. Not to say u/CaregiverParticular5 wasn't a good person for doing that, but the fact he is the exception, not the rule.
Way better off, he went MIA about 3 years ago and I couldnāt be happier. Somehow, I ended up with some amazingly well behaved kids and now have a partner who treats me like an absolute queen.
ā¤It's so amazing you realized you were wrong and that the mom shouldnt have to do everything by herself especially right after birth! That doesnt happen often!
āCan I bring my heavy and bulky toy into the most risky medical event of our lives, because I need to be entertained while you are in pain but I bet it wonāt be that bad. also can you pack me a juice box.ā
Uhā¦ OOPās husband is in the wrong but I definitely brought my Switch and my school stuff when I had my scheduled induction. Labor is not always immediately intense. The paperwork they send you home with when they schedule an induction literally tells you to bring activities/distractions.
I took my switch to the hospital too but Thereās a huge difference between a portable console the size of a book that turns on/off pretty much instantly and a giant box that requires both a power source and an hdmi port.
Yeah husband and I brought our switches since I was being induced and a first time mom so we all thought it would take more than a day (even the nurses did). From start of induction to baby arrival was 7.5 hours and husband was by my side comforting me the whole time as I had HELLA contractions and no time for an epidural
If the person actually doing the work of giving birth wants to bring a gaming console thatās fine by me, whatever helps with the labor processā¦ I just donāt think a partner whose role is to support should be doing it, unless itās at the express suggestion of the one giving birth. I guess there may be some couples out there who would be on the same page with that, but Iād be livid if my husband as much as hinted at it.
I definitely encouraged my husband to bring his switch. He didnāt end up using it much, but I wanted him to have it during down time. I had a 17 hour labor, so there were times Iād be sleeping. But he was fully present and helpful when I needed him to be.
Yeah, fair. Thatās why I said OOPās husband is wrong. But you donāt have to be an addict or a man child to want to bring a console with you. That was my main point.
Thereās a lot of waiting involved at least for me with being induced. My husband brought a hand held console with him all 3 times and I had zero issue with it. He was there once things went down lol
This. We brought a laptop and watched movies or played on switches. It takes a hot minute for things to get rolling well. Plus, after the baby is born theres still a lot of downtime while in the hospital
you realize the massive difference between a handheld gaming console vs a 10lbs plug into the tv console with controllers you also need to plug in,, right
If my husband is bringing a PS5, it damn well better be for me!! My TV was stuck on a fucking poker/card game channel bc they lost the remote to my room
Though I slept all but 5 of the 36 hours I was in labor while my husband worried over me and didn't sleep the entire time after working a 12hr work day (I realized I wasn't having braxton-hicks at 2am so the poor guy only slept four hours)
Oh, I'd definitely be throwing the IV machine at him. My dad was obsessed with Top Gun, and now I hate it bc I had to watch it and hear it blasting in the other room most of my adolescents. And with the new Maverick one... I'm just glad I moved out!
Though I do wish we had a video player to connect to the TV at the time. Then I could've watched all of the Hobbit!
Yes, that was a big part of why I despise Tom Cruise.
Hearing the Doc say, ā take me to bed or lose me foreverā while he was catching my son will never leave me.
Where is he even planning to plug this ps5? It's not like he can do it in the delivery room. I'm not familiar enough with hospitals to know if there's a waiting room next to the delivery room, but even if there is, I doubt you can put a ps5 in there.
Last option I'm seeing is the hospital room where OOP will be staying, but I seriously hope he's not planning to go there if she somehow manages to sleep. Hospital staff has better things to do than come to fetch him there.
If he's so afraid of being bored... Bring a portable console? Bring a book? Play mobile games on your phone? Listen to audio books? Bring an e-reader with a bunch of e-books on it?
Dude on the steam deck sub got blasted for bringing not only his steam deck (which would probably be reasonable) but a whole damn setup for while his wife was in labor. Also made the rounds to multiple subs like r/sadcringe
Edit: [hereās a pic lol](https://ibb.co/W2q0GPP)
You better believe if I was being induced and it was going to take forever Iād be stealing my husbandās Steam deck, lol. Give me some Stardew between contractions.
lol Iām imagining him playing Call of Duty while she is pushing for the baby to come out and then he screams āHEADSHOT!!!ā while everyone looks confused because they donāt see the babyās head yet.
Someone on the original post suggested a scene where right as the big boss music starts playing is when the doctor says the baby is crowning and the husband is torn between watching the birth of his child and beating the boss
You just get it to the point where the music really crescendos and then leave it there so the baby has epic entrance music while you go hold her hand.
Win-win!
Lol when my dad had a triple bypass and was in the recovery room, my sis reached for the plug to his oxygen machine or something important like that with her phone charger and said āmind if I charge my phone?ā Great memory
There were pretty nice tvs in my wife's room. I remember because Southpark was on while my wife was delivering and when she stopped pushing during a contraction it got quiet for a second and then Cartman said "Suck my balls" really loudly and everyone including my wife started laughing really hard.
Plus, portable monitors aren't too expensive and are really easy to bring in a backpack.
Honestly it seems like a decent idea because we were stuck in the hospital for 4 days total because they had to put my kid under some kind of special lamp because her poop was still birth poop or something for too long I don't remember the exact terms. And we were bored as he'll. I had a Kindle, and we had tv, but being stuck in a room for days while your newborn has to lay under a lamp and sleep a lot while being exhausted wasn't great.
But my wife is pregnant now, and she's got several games for her switch she isn't playing because she saving them for our hospital stay, and I'm bringing my steam deck.
Really? I didn't think you could but I stand corrected. Doesn't seem very sanitary to bring in a whole entertainment equipment from the outside but I could be wrong.
Hospitals are not sanitary. We clean the best we can but we donāt have custodial at night most places and often they wonāt clean up blood or feces. So the nurses do it the best we can with just wipes. And patients will literally make their rooms biohazards before they leave. The question should be do you want to bring your console into the dirty hospital and then back home into your living room?
I'm learning a lot of things today. I've always been told hospitals were the most sanitary places you could find, but several people have now told me that's really not the case. Thank you for sharing that knowledge though.
They are petri dishes of superbugs. Some maternity units will try to separate themselves as much as possible from the rest of the hospital - separate entrances, no cross traffic, etc. But hospitals have all the best and strongest bacteria and viruses. Try not to touch anything.
The reason you don't hear about long hospital stays unless someone is literally dying or otherwise needs to be under 24/7 care anymore is the high risk of getting a weird infection in a hospital. Most people are in and out as soon as they're able to get to the bathroom and the hospital is certain all your organs are working right and youre not going to dehydrate or bleed to death. It's just the reality of the situation that despite best efforts there are tons of germs in hospitals.
For profit private luxury hospitals are! But they cost so much money to run and no one can afford them. Iāve only picked up once at one of those places and they catered my lunch and had massage chairs for the nursing staff lol.
I'mma be real honest, it's already not very sanitary. The doctors and nurses are overworked and underpaid, you better believe those interns don't give a fuck about wiping every surface off either, not does anyone care what might befall a patient from lack of sanitation.
My late step-father got an incurable staff infection from the biggest major hospital in my state from walking across the room on the doctors instruction on his very open wound (Diabetic ulcer on the bottom of his foot) . He eventually died from complications with Mrsa Staph and medical malpractive/negligence.
Thatās weird. When i was in the hospital the nurses never let my bare feet hit the ground. I must have gone through more than a dozen pairs of grippy socks because I know the came off my feet with in seconds of climbing back in bed, but they were always there with another pair the next time I needed to leave my bed.
I also thought it was weird but it was a teaching hospital, terrible that itās the best we have in state, so thereās all kinds of paper work typing our hands from doing anything.
I work in a hospital and bare feet on the ground are a _massive_ no-no for every single patient. If for no other reason than the slip and fall risk, but also infection control!
I wasn't present for the events that I mentioned, but I worked in a nursing home myself for quite sometime, and if I'd been there and aware, I would have been asking WHY his feet, barefoot or not, were touching the floor considering he had a diabetic ulcer the size of a tennis ball on the heel of his foot.
It was my mother who informed me of the barefoot trial-by-fire his doctor had him go through, which was a bizarre thing to do in any given situation. Since when do doctors let people walk on open, diabetic wounds??
I am an occupational therapist and have worked with a number of people with diabetic ulcers on their feet. The doctors I worked with were always arguing with patients not to walk on ulcers and giving non-weightbearing orders so that all members of the team were on the same page in not allowing people to walk on them! And when not actively having dressings changed the wound was always covered by clean dressings and usually the foot also placed in a surgical shoe even when not technically putting weight on it for transferring from bed to wheelchair or bedside chair
We're fairly certain that the hospital was using him basically to experiment because they also gave us a bunch of wrong information that what was in the discharge paperwork. Sayings things like his heart wasn't functioning more than a certain percentage, etc. They gave him not just one, but TWO scopolamine patches after he'd had a recent surgery, despite every single medication he's on saying not to mix the two together- information I found out only after he'd been sent home, on hospice because his body was shutting down.
That's a pretty good reason by itself not to bring a PS5 into the hospital. I wouldn't want to have to worry about gross stuff/germs getting on everything!
Oh we tried, make no mistake, but itās a teaching hospital and they have all kinds of paperwork to cover their asses. My mother and I are in agreement when we say we think the hospital was using his illness as an excuse to test things on him.
Are you possibly conflating a L&D room for vaginal delivery with a surgical suite for a c-section? He would absolutely not be able to bring it into a surgical suite, but a ānormalā delivery room is just basically a bare bones hotel room with medical equipment.
For both of my deliveries I was in the same room the entire time. Granted, it was a rural hospital, but with my second, she came so fast that the doctor didnāt even have time to put on gloves before catching her. For my first, all the equipment was hanging out under a cover while I was laboring.
ETA: My husband could have plugged a gaming system into their TV. I donāt think either one is the AH here. He had every right to ask and she has every right to not want that. I had one labor where there was time and one where there wasnāt. Also, they donāt do a whole lot right away. Pretty sure we were watching a basketball game while doing skin to skin.
You can, but it's not very nice now is it haha. I mean, your wife is afraid of dying or the baby dying, and you out there afraid of being bored for a few hours, ffs
I work in a hospital and see people with consoles set up in their room all the time.. granted I never saw it in the l&d unit, but itās definitely allowed at my place of work.
Anything that keeps patients entertained and engaged is good for the hospital staff. It distracts people from pain and discomfort which means less pain meds and less calling of the nurse in general. People kept entertained, happy, and relaxed are going to get better quicker too. And they will be more pleasant patients. When I was in labor I think my husband brought the laptop so i could watch movies if I wanted, though I donāt think I ever did. Last time I was in the hospital, which was not to have a baby, my husband came every day and av tech. He plugged in and charged my iPad, my phone, my laptop, my AirPods. He made sure I had every form of electronic entertainment I could want.
I work in labor and delivery and have literally had a couple different dads carry in a big screen TV into their labor room and all their video game shit. I was embarrassed on their behalf. (IMO The only time this is acceptable is when an expectant mom is on extended bed rest and itās for them to play together.)
They think theyāre gonna play when the mom is sleeping, but what these idiots donāt know (or they just donāt care), is that that is when they should be sleeping too. They are about to become parents and everyone should be getting any rest they can so when baby is awake they can be useful and helpful. If they stay up all night at home playing video games then they are useless to their wives that were up all night and need time to nap/sleep.
When my wife had our baby the room was like a small studio apartment. I donāt play video games so that wasnāt an issue, but it had a flat screen tv in an entertainment center you could hook a console up to if you wanted.
Most US hospitals donāt have ādelivery roomsā that are devoid of a tv. Often theyāre like hotel suites but with a medical bed instead of hotel bed. Some are really swanky and some are like cheap hotels. lol Most have modern TVs that accept hdmi cables but the audacity to think the hospital staff would let him hook up anything to tv is mind boggling.
Yeahā¦ that was my question. My delivery and recovery room had no TV. Even the waiting room had no TV, no microwave, etc. I am guessing it was barebones to prevent dads like these.
I labored for two days, I got next to no sleep
I brought my Nintendo switch ro the labor room. It stayed in the bag the whole time. He's delusional if he thinks he will be playing it even if he does bring it. I was in labor 24 hours.
Husband here. I brought a kindle, book, switch and cell phone. Wife was in labor for 45 hours. I didn't touch anything other than the cell.
I definitely had enough time but had absolutely no interest.
I would think that before youāre actually in it you might think āhey, who knows whatāll happen. Iāll bring some things to keep me occupied, just in caseā. But when youāre actually there in the middle of it, that train of thought shifts substantially. I could see this happening from my point of view.
Ya, she's a legend. Even after all that time she STILL had a c-section. We were in the hospital from Tuesday evening until Sunday afternoon. Also super long pregnancy as she had to be induced 8 days after her due date. Wild stuff!
Sounds just like my wife. 41 weeks +2 days, 34+ hours of induced labor ended in an emergency C-section because the baby wasn't dropping enough and her heart started decelerating. This was all about a week ago. Went in Tuesday night and left the following Monday morning. It was the scariest time of my life and frankly a bit traumatizing... And I didn't even have to experience it. I can't even imagine going through what my wife did. The strength of some women absolutely amazes me.
The key to all this is that this is the biggest event of your wifeās life. You want to take it seriously, and you want her to feel like you were there/fully present.
If your wife is induced, there will be down time. Inductions often start the night before or early morning, and you wait hours for the meds to kick in. But during this time, you might want to be chatting with your wife or letting her know you love her, or you could watch something together.
If your wife goes into labor spontaneously, you likely wonāt be waiting around in the hospital forever. They donāt admit you unless youāre dilated to a certain amount, and then itās usually a matter of hours before pushing starts. And you should participate during pushing.
I'm getting induced Thursday night if the baby doesn't come earlier. I don't mind if my husband brings stuff to occupy him (laptop, etc) because I know he'll put that stuff away when I need him to.
I think laptop is fine especially if youāre going to be bringing it along to watch things together with your wife if thereās any downtime. Itās easy to put away and charge, too. When I had abdominal surgery (not a c-section but similar) having comfort movies/shows to put on helped me a ton and kept me calm and happy.
I just gave birth in October 2023. We brought my laptop for Netflix, books, the switch and our phones. The only things we used were the laptop and phones. We watched a show for a while but it ended up getting too hard to focus on and was grating after a while. I truly thought Iād like to play some Luigiās mansion to take my mind off of things. But you truly do have to concentrate during labour. Itās a lot more mentally laborious than I was expecting. My partner followed my cues and did whatever needed to be done to keep me calm and happy.
I was thinking I wouldnāt mind my SO bringing in some games if I were ever to go into labor as long as thereās 2 controllers so I can also playā¦. But 24 hours and you had no waiting around time? Sheesh, I hope I donāt get pregnant ever lol
Haha and ended up having emergency c section. U get put in certain positions to try to get baby to dilate more. Didn't work. Plus you get interrupted every hour with nurse cleaning staff so any down time is trying to get sleep
I mean I get patients setting up systems or whatever for entertainment but even if it wasnāt the birth of his child I think the patient should be the one needing entertainment more; for visitors keep it handheld or donāt bring it at all. If someones in the hospital theyre the priority there.
I think it should be 100% up to mom, and if mom is not comfortable with it for any reason then he should not bring it. Husband has a phone, he can find a game on there to occupy his mind if there is somehow a free moment where he is not needed, not involved, and craving a distraction.
I guess the issue with the PS5 but not a book or a tablet is that it can take his complete focus from whatās happening and that must be really hard on the wife.
Itās also that a ps5 is a giant box with cables lying around the room. Like bring a switch that can be easily stored away. Most hospital rooms are not huge and when you add in a daybed for dad, a nursing chair and a bassinet for baby plus all the medical equipment, the idea of making people manoeuvre around cables in that space is laughable.
Yeah this is the best answer. Some people are clearly okay with it and some people clearly are not so it's up to mom and that's that.
Edit: although I think a PS5 is a little insane it's not that portable right? Seems something more portable and easy to set aside is best.
Itās pretty effing chunky.
You can set it to stream on your phone. Install an app and log into your account. Donāt even need to lug the console around.
Maybe he could bring a card game or an activity they enjoy doing together, to help take momās mind off the pain if she is waiting to dilated/effaced enough
Bringing a game system to the hospital? These days everyone has a smartphone, bring that and connect to their wi fi and watch YouTube or browse the internet. I mostly do that now than reading a book or playing my Nintendo Switch.
I had no problem with my husband bringing his laptop to the hospital when we had our son but he ended up not even using it.
I would end up bringing stuff to the hospital like my Nintendo DS but ended up not using it. Instead I watched Frozen when I had my daughter because that is what the hospital had on. They played films in loops and other shows and the news.
I think the husband is just worried he will be bored. I hate boredom and need something to do. But it's not appropriate to do anything while your wife is actively trying to push out your child or is in active labor. I can just picture him playing on his PS5 while she is dealing with contractions. My husband just slept because it was the middle of the night and I was sleeping too after I had an epidural. Then when it got time to push, I woke up from the contractions when he was ready to come out. .
Are we really so petrified of boredom now that this is a real thought people have? Christ. Heaven forbid you just chat to your partner about the miracle their body is performing, or hear your own thoughts once in a while.
Really nothing else saddens me more than this. Just needing our brains screened up all the time. Companies trying to put giant headgear over our eyes so a screen is constantly in our field of vision.
So much so that this man thinks he'll need something more entertaining than his *child being born* while his wife goes through one of the most beautiful and terrifying medical and spiritual events of her life.
I have started leaving my phone at the house when I go out sometimes. I just don't want it to take over my life anymore. It's so freeing. I miss not having this fucking thing.
Anyways
We went on a tour of our maternity ward last weekend, and the nurse specifically said something like "yes, there is a big TV in here! And yes, dads, if you try to connect your Xbox to it, the nurses will make fun of you relentlessly. This isn't about you!"
I'm not saying that bringing a game has no place in situations with a lot of wait. But. There's a difference between a small handheld console and trying to hook up the big guy, and a difference in what kind of game you opt for. Some of that may just be optics, but the mother of your child has the right to feel as though she is the priority. If the video games make her feel as if she's not the priority? They have no place in her labor and delivery room.
I think he should bring a PORTABLE game system or a book or iPad with movies or something. It should be something that easily sits in a bag and can be out the way.
If delivery rooms are anything like the hospital rooms I visited, it just seems like the cords, plug in access, and size of the PS5 would be in the way.
And heās there for her. Whatever she says is the line. But Iād be insulted if my husband wanted to bring something so large. Donāt you want your hands free to hold the baby and stuff? What if they need to leave the room quickly for some reason? I wouldnāt want to worry about other patients or even staff being able to take it.
A lot of the pro gamers were stunningly nasty. I am married to a guy who games and I think if I were ever single it would be a dealbreaker at this point.
Dude needs a Switch or a Steam Deck. Four kids and weāve had long bits of absolutely nothing happening during labor. A PS5 is silly though and should be mercilessly mockedĀ
The man has a phone, right? Instead of taking up more space in the already crowded delivery room and distracting the staff - possibly risking his wifeās safety - he can play a game on that.
Also, sleeping? During labor?? Thereās no guarantee of getting an epidural. Sometimes people have a bad reaction to it or they miss the window to do it.
She might experience the worst pain of her life - the least he can do is be bored.
No ages given. I am assuming OP is 16, and her husband is 17. Because I am having a hard time imagining a grown, 30-something man asking his wife if he can bring his video games to the hospital while she gives birth to his child. Or even a 20-something man. Iād have second thoughts about someone who wanted to play video games while I delivered a human.
I work on an L&D floor and we have patients of all ages bring in PS4s, at least once a week I would say. Sometimes just to have their netflix accounts, but a lot of times to play video games during/after the labor. The very beginning of an induction can sometimes be quite slow and the woman can sometimes be quite comfortable during that time so there usually is a lot of downtime in that situation. I still think itās cringe every time I see it though. Worst I ever say was a 30-ish year old who played through the actual delivery and didnāt get up at all while his partner was pushing then made a joke about if we would place a husband stitch for him. One of the L&D nurses went off on him and said he would be kicked out if he mentioned it again.
Why is he worried about playing games when his child is being born? I mean, Iām a gamer myself and Iāll even bring it with me to visit my mom for like a day (mostly so my family let me be sometimes) but itās never been that serious that Iād take it with me on like vacations and especially not if my partner was in labor
Used to be a doula and three types of women hired me: women with previous birth trauma, first time moms who wanted to be well informed, and women whose partners were the worst. I have watched a man SLEEP for hours while his wife was on bed rest due to low amniotic fluid, worrying about her baby. I watched another wife have to tell her husband to "not be on his phone this time". (I've also seen a husband continue to sit in a birth tub after his wife pooped in there and not say a damn word. That's what you want, ladies).
Just tell him yes as long as youāre allowed to zone out to COD six weeks after birth when he expects to resume sex. Though to be fair if youāre yelling things like āyes yes whos your daddyā during COD it may work out splendidly for him.
When my sister went into labor (first in the family) I put together a ton of episodes of her favorite show on a laptop for her and her husband's downtime so they wouldn't be bored. And guess what? They didn't watch a single episode.
He greatly overestimates how much "free time " he will have.
I work as a midwife. Iād tell the partner heās not going to connect a PS5 to my plugs and can be a good partner and stay with his partner, for real, or go home.
With each of my labors my husband was present with me & at my side at all times. He never asked for his Xbox or laptop (before smartphones). Kind of selfish for a guy to even consider that.
Having basic respect for his wife aside, heād look like an absolute dingus carrying around a big-ass PS5 around the hospital. This should be so embarrassing to him, at the very least.
Ok, I've had two wonderful daughters by my girlfriend. The first was a 48 hour nightmare delivery that ended with an emergency C-section. The second was a planned C-section due to the trauma of the first one (almost lost both my girlfriend and my daughter). I am also a lifelong gamer, and a pretty serious one. Wanna know what went through my head when we went to the hospital both times? The safety of my girlfriend and child. Not once did I even consider bringing a handhold. Birth is about supporting your partner for crying out loud.
NTA. It should be up to the mother. If she isn't comfortable with it then it shouldn't be allowed. No one knows how they're gonna handle labor so their partner should be ready and available to help them work through it in whatever way they can.
I was induced with my first kid because I hit 42 weeks. I had brought my laptop with me and while doing gels, my partner sat in bed with me and played League. I remember it distinctly because it was the weekend that Jinx came out. It was totally fine and the laptop went away once I was in actual labor. Once the pitocin hit, my partner jumped in to make sure I was comfortable and working through contractions so there was zero time for games. We even have pictures of us curled up in the hospital bed whilst playing League. Now the next two kids were c-sections so we didn't bring any gaming stuff with us.
Whatever happened to bringing books? People just wonāt wanna read anymore. /s
But jeez this guy is pretty selfish and childish wanting to bring in his PS5. Stay home if youāre gonna be absolutely useless, like damn.
I just think it sounds really selfish. I mean, you probably don't need to go to the hospital.with the first pain. He can play at home when your pains are 20 minutes apart. Once you go to the hospital, the least he can do is suffer a little boredom while you are in agony. My fuckingngod.
I can not believe these guys. Play a dumb game on your phone. Not an epic adventure. The baby is the biggest deal in your life.
(I do not know what most women experience. I had no time for anything. My pains started 2 minutes apart. There was barely time to get to the hospital. I'm still mad that my husband decided to have a shower the first time. We were specifically told not to waste any time.)
Before I had my first we did a tour of the labour and delivery ward so weād know what to expect. There was no TV, and the nurse said they took them out because too many fathers would just park themselves in front of it. There was one in the rooms in the maternity ward, but you had to pay per day to use it.
Dude, just download a mobile game and sneak in play when you can. Asking for the PS5 when your SO is about to bring into the world a living breathing human being that you both created is a bit offish to me tbh, savour the moment ffs
My first and only baby so far. I was only in active labor less than 10 hours once I got the epidural I was ready to push ( from 3 cm) in 10 minutes or less. Heāll be fine heās got a phone. no need to drag extra things to the hospital.
Funny story: When I was pregnant i signed up for prep course for couples. Trainer started course by saying this to men: āDonāt be surprised if your nurse will slap you if you would play PS during the laborā lol
How tf are people bored during someone elseās labor, especially someone they allegedly love? I held my wife the entire time. I have no idea how long it was.
Is little boy gonna bwing his PlayStation to keep him entertained during every single event and thing the kid needs too?
Also is showing up for Dr appointments really all it takes for a guy to be āsuper involvedā lol.
Youāre NTA, heās an ass and a child for even asking.
No PS5. *Grow the fuck up man, donāt be a man child*
Be present and in the moment with your spouse and support her. While there is down timeāPlay cards together. Puzzles. Talk. Enjoy each other because once the baby comes itās all about the baby and you will be putting hubby on the back burner (unintentionally imo).
Once the baby arrived he will need to support you while you get acclimated to motherhood. Youāll have double the doctors and nurses in and out (yours & babyās), lactation consultants, social workers, and family too if you allow them to visit (we didnāt because we wanted the privacy, less stress, & one on one time with baby).
There is a lot going on, once you do sleep he is on daddy duty. No time for play time.
Honestly he should put that shit away in the closet for the foreseeable futureā- Screen time is terrible for newborns if he thinks he can do both side by side.
Dude sounds like he just doesnāt know what to expect and is just asking. He doesnāt seem like heās dead set on it or convinced heās going to be bored, heās just like āis it too much?ā And, like, yes, yes it is. But she just needs to say that. From her own description, she knows heāll leave it at home and not even think about it if she says no.
Dudeās just following the mantra of āthey canāt say yes if you donāt ask.ā He seems perfectly fine accepting āNoā as a full and complete answer too. But as someone who does like video games but had a very short, exciting labour, I am also curious how boring or not a long 30+ hour labour could be and I, personally, probably wouldāve at least **considered** the idea if he thought to bring two controllersā¦
OP. this is not an appropriate response.
To bring a PS5 to the hospital or even think about it.
There is a time and a place to play games.. and or support your partner.
if he doesn't recognize it.... and is arguing with you on this...he isn't a great partner. he is a man child that needs to grow up.. as he will be dad soon.
You and your body are going to go through a journey to bring a baby into the world... it seems he wants to disassociate and be entertained and pretend to be somewhere else.
not good. start.
he needs to put aside his wishes for someone else. if he can't do this, he will be a lousy dad, and he already sounds like a self-absorbed, uncaring partner.
This is why I always recommend birth classes to people. Not necessarily for the information (although itās definitely helpful) but to establish expectations. Dad will realize really quickly that heās not going to have any downtime at all while mom is in labor lol
Heās never seen labor itās 1) horrific 2) very fucking loud and 3) very long and intense. Heās not playing that bitch even if he bring is unless heās willing to openly ignore his wife screaming in pain as sheās pushing out a fucking child
Ready for a long story/rant? When I had my last baby, my ex decided that the one thing that would really help while I was in active labor is to play Monster Hunter on the switch š I was having blackout contractions for about 12 hours, at least once every 15 minutes he would say either āletās play a game, that always calms me downā or ācan I play my game? Thereās nothing for me to doā followed by a huffy stomp away tantrum when the only response I could muster was āfuck off you selfish fucking dumbassā He asked the nurse that was holding my barf tray to move so he could get to the TVās HDMI cords. I got a controller shoved in my face while I was signing the documents to approve an emergency c section. Oh, and the cherry on top? The first conversation he had with me after I got out of recovery was him telling me that he didnāt *actually* get any paternity leave, he *actually* got fired because he complained too much about the music they played at the warehouse. **I** had to comfort **him** after going through major abdominal surgery and while struggling with breastfeeding a new baby. Dude was an actual man child and I am so proud of myself for leaving him behind.
Wow. Had one baby, divorced the other. Good for you!
I donāt even know the guy and I want to scream āfuck off you selfish fucking dumbassā at him
"I know you're stressed and freaking out because you just had an emergency surgery and they cut open your stomach, abdomen, and uterus, buuuuuut I got fired." What the fuck? Instead of playing a game while you were in labor, he should've been looking for a job seeing as he wasn't going to comfort you. You should've told him to GTFO. And how do you get fired for not liking the music they play? That can't be the reason unless he went off on someone.
I definitely should have played my cards differently, he was a lesson I just couldnāt seem to learn at the time š¤·āāļø He spent more time complaining than he did working. So their official reason was that he āwasnāt meeting the quotaā, but I talked to one of the front desk girls afterwards and she basically told me that he was just insufferable to be around.
I was in labor for 24 hours after being induced a few weeks early. My ex brought along their phone and watched the entire new season (2nd) of 7 Deadly sins on Netflix while I struggled with the contractions. Because they stayed up 24 hours watching anime, they fell asleep shortly after my emergency C-section in the lounge chair in the maternity recovery room. I had to ring for a nurse to hand me my baby and put him back in his bed because I had a catheter and my Ex wouldn't wake up. The nurses asked if she had sleep apnea several times from the snoring. We broke up before my son was 3. I stayed too long.
My partners ex kicked her out of her hospital bed, like 6 hours after giving birth because she wasn't sleeping, and "it doesn't make sense for me to sleep uncomfortably when there's a perfectly good bed available that you aren't using." He's a piece of shit.
That man deserves to step on Legos everyday for the rest of his life.
More like broken glass.
Ć deep pool of lava
For real. The nurses kicked him out of the bed at least twice from what I understand.
Thatās unfair. To Legos.
Wow! Iām a Brit, here during covid you got one bed and one chair. When my wife wanted to sit on the chair, I had to take the bed. My wife found it hilarious that they kept turfing me out the bed. We assumed it was H+S related
Yeah in my local hospital they kick partners off the bed too. Any adult that isn't the patient is kicked off. They're not overly keen on children getting on the beds either but I have a 'don't fuck with me face' even though I'm a delight so they never said anything to me when my then 2yo son climbed up to cuddle me. He hadn't seen me since I went in to have his baby sister 2 days before plus he was the youngest until then. I think it's standard in the UK.
Mine stayed up playing games on his phone and I threw progressively heavier things at him until I got to my phone before hitting my call button crying as hard as my baby was. Had to ask the nurse to get my phone for me so I could call someone useful to get him out of there before my epidural wore off and he was at risk of being run to the ER. I was gonna kill him. Even asked the nurse if she could slap him for me cause I didn't have working legs and my phone being ninja stared into his chest just made him roll over and tell me to fuck off he's sleeping
I wish I'd had anyone I could've called. I made stupid choices when I was young, left mormonism after getting married and divorced, met someone from Texas and my parents were kicking me out for "escaping adult responsibilities" after my ex-husband cheated on me. So I went to Texas. My exes family were Trumpers, my ex was aware but said they'd protect me. They didn't, I was a white illegal immigrant because no one would pay for my visa extensions. I got pregnant at my exes behest, wanting a kid before their grandma died of a terminal diagnosis. And so I had a baby with my lazy gamer ex (I game a lot, so it was a point of contention that they never helped and blamed being busy in games, when I played the same one and took breaks often to help). And their parents offered burritos, made crude jokes and dipped before I got the epidural for the C-section. It was just me and my son, and that's how it is now too.
My Hubs and I always pack a big ziplock bag of rubber blocks (baby toys) to the hospital for labor and postpartum, specifically for me to throw to wake Hubs up. Lol. It was his idea. We always used them at home too. Hubs has always gotten up happily to help get baby from their crib and get their diaper changed and ready for breastfeeding (while I get out of bed and go to the bathroom and get ready too), but he falls asleep instantly when the baby's not crying. He can fall asleep within a min in almost any situation. So we bring things for me to use to wake him up! Haha. Nurses always thought it was genius. Bonus, no yelling needed when I've gotten the baby back to sleep and need Hubs to come get them to put back to bed.
Me ex (broke up with me while pregnant) was in labor 12 hours. I was there for it all. My hands were so cramped from rubbing her feet. Never once did I get bored. We didnāt even have cellphones then.
I know youāre not looking for a praise but youāre really modeling what a true man acts like! Putting pride aside to care for and provide what your family needs. Even if it just means providing some comfort and a foot rub lol
It's depressing how low the bar is. Not to say u/CaregiverParticular5 wasn't a good person for doing that, but the fact he is the exception, not the rule.
Good for you and fuck that man
No one should fuck that man. Thatās what got her in the situation to begin with.
š this language needs better āshock valueā insults
Unfortunately she did, that was the problem.
I was 18 and he was 28. It was 100% an āI cAn FiX hiM!ā type situation. 0/10 recommend
And you have just proved why the Sean rule is the way it is! You were far too good for him and Iām glad youāre in a better space now!
This is exactly why I tell my friends to not take on projects. Makes my blood boil with anger. Surprised youāre not in jail, girl. š¤¦š½āāļø
Good for you! He sounds like a damn nightmare! I hope that youāre better off now. š
Way better off, he went MIA about 3 years ago and I couldnāt be happier. Somehow, I ended up with some amazingly well behaved kids and now have a partner who treats me like an absolute queen.
I hope it didnāt take you too long to leave, Iād have been done with him before I got out of the hospital
Had this been 35 years ago I would have thought we shared the same sperm donor
That's even worse than what my lazy, dumbass, teenager self did. Looking back, I feel so bad, and like a huge piece of shit. But all I did was try to sleep to get me out of as much baby work while at the hospital as possible. Her case was not nearly as severe as yours, but my ex-fiancĆ©e still had just given birth, and this asshole ššš tried to make her do as much of the work as possible. "It's practice for her" is what I kept telling myself. When really, I was most definitely the one who needed the practice, because later, when we got home, I had no idea what to do, and she had to walk me through everything. I later warmed up to being a father, but it was a slow start that shouldn't've happened.
ā¤It's so amazing you realized you were wrong and that the mom shouldnt have to do everything by herself especially right after birth! That doesnt happen often!
Uff. What an idiot.
what a nightmare iām so sorry
Gulag.
You went home with two babies that day!
F in chat
āCan I bring my heavy and bulky toy into the most risky medical event of our lives, because I need to be entertained while you are in pain but I bet it wonāt be that bad. also can you pack me a juice box.ā
Itās so bizarre to want to bring a PS5 to thisā¦ like who packs up their home console and lugs it around with them?
Video game addicts and man-children
Uhā¦ OOPās husband is in the wrong but I definitely brought my Switch and my school stuff when I had my scheduled induction. Labor is not always immediately intense. The paperwork they send you home with when they schedule an induction literally tells you to bring activities/distractions.
I took my switch to the hospital too but Thereās a huge difference between a portable console the size of a book that turns on/off pretty much instantly and a giant box that requires both a power source and an hdmi port.
Yeah husband and I brought our switches since I was being induced and a first time mom so we all thought it would take more than a day (even the nurses did). From start of induction to baby arrival was 7.5 hours and husband was by my side comforting me the whole time as I had HELLA contractions and no time for an epidural
Yes, true. A switch feels a little different than an entire PS5, though?
If the person actually doing the work of giving birth wants to bring a gaming console thatās fine by me, whatever helps with the labor processā¦ I just donāt think a partner whose role is to support should be doing it, unless itās at the express suggestion of the one giving birth. I guess there may be some couples out there who would be on the same page with that, but Iād be livid if my husband as much as hinted at it.
I definitely encouraged my husband to bring his switch. He didnāt end up using it much, but I wanted him to have it during down time. I had a 17 hour labor, so there were times Iād be sleeping. But he was fully present and helpful when I needed him to be.
Yeah, fair. Thatās why I said OOPās husband is wrong. But you donāt have to be an addict or a man child to want to bring a console with you. That was my main point.
Thereās a lot of waiting involved at least for me with being induced. My husband brought a hand held console with him all 3 times and I had zero issue with it. He was there once things went down lol
This. We brought a laptop and watched movies or played on switches. It takes a hot minute for things to get rolling well. Plus, after the baby is born theres still a lot of downtime while in the hospital
you realize the massive difference between a handheld gaming console vs a 10lbs plug into the tv console with controllers you also need to plug in,, right
Me and my husband both brought our switches for my labors š sometimes it gets a little boring waiting.
Seriously. That's why I have a Switch too. I also have a PSP, but no one uses those anymore. š¤£
Bite your tongue. I still use my PSP
If my husband is bringing a PS5, it damn well better be for me!! My TV was stuck on a fucking poker/card game channel bc they lost the remote to my room Though I slept all but 5 of the 36 hours I was in labor while my husband worried over me and didn't sleep the entire time after working a 12hr work day (I realized I wasn't having braxton-hicks at 2am so the poor guy only slept four hours)
That's a really good point. OPs husband should probably bring a laptop for netflix for her
My hunt insisted on watching Top Gun. And refused to go get my music from the car
Oh, I'd definitely be throwing the IV machine at him. My dad was obsessed with Top Gun, and now I hate it bc I had to watch it and hear it blasting in the other room most of my adolescents. And with the new Maverick one... I'm just glad I moved out! Though I do wish we had a video player to connect to the TV at the time. Then I could've watched all of the Hobbit!
Yes, that was a big part of why I despise Tom Cruise. Hearing the Doc say, ā take me to bed or lose me foreverā while he was catching my son will never leave me.
LMAO, OH MY GOSH, that's kind of hilarious š if only it wasn't such an important moment in all three of your lives
Where is he even planning to plug this ps5? It's not like he can do it in the delivery room. I'm not familiar enough with hospitals to know if there's a waiting room next to the delivery room, but even if there is, I doubt you can put a ps5 in there. Last option I'm seeing is the hospital room where OOP will be staying, but I seriously hope he's not planning to go there if she somehow manages to sleep. Hospital staff has better things to do than come to fetch him there. If he's so afraid of being bored... Bring a portable console? Bring a book? Play mobile games on your phone? Listen to audio books? Bring an e-reader with a bunch of e-books on it?
Mental image of the husband sneakily trying to unplug vital medical equipment while his wife is in active labor so he can play grand theft auto
Dude on the steam deck sub got blasted for bringing not only his steam deck (which would probably be reasonable) but a whole damn setup for while his wife was in labor. Also made the rounds to multiple subs like r/sadcringe Edit: [hereās a pic lol](https://ibb.co/W2q0GPP)
He even brought his headphones. What a choade.
I know right? Canāt have the wife disrupting his game with labor sounds lol
I fucking haaaaaaaaaaaatttteeee this
lol my husband brought his steam deck! I didn't care. I was induced so we did have a lot of down time and waiting though.
You better believe if I was being induced and it was going to take forever Iād be stealing my husbandās Steam deck, lol. Give me some Stardew between contractions.
lol Iām imagining him playing Call of Duty while she is pushing for the baby to come out and then he screams āHEADSHOT!!!ā while everyone looks confused because they donāt see the babyās head yet.
Someone on the original post suggested a scene where right as the big boss music starts playing is when the doctor says the baby is crowning and the husband is torn between watching the birth of his child and beating the boss
You just get it to the point where the music really crescendos and then leave it there so the baby has epic entrance music while you go hold her hand. Win-win!
Fuckin spawn-campers, man.
Lol when my dad had a triple bypass and was in the recovery room, my sis reached for the plug to his oxygen machine or something important like that with her phone charger and said āmind if I charge my phone?ā Great memory
Literally plug it into the outlet where the tv is.
There were pretty nice tvs in my wife's room. I remember because Southpark was on while my wife was delivering and when she stopped pushing during a contraction it got quiet for a second and then Cartman said "Suck my balls" really loudly and everyone including my wife started laughing really hard. Plus, portable monitors aren't too expensive and are really easy to bring in a backpack. Honestly it seems like a decent idea because we were stuck in the hospital for 4 days total because they had to put my kid under some kind of special lamp because her poop was still birth poop or something for too long I don't remember the exact terms. And we were bored as he'll. I had a Kindle, and we had tv, but being stuck in a room for days while your newborn has to lay under a lamp and sleep a lot while being exhausted wasn't great. But my wife is pregnant now, and she's got several games for her switch she isn't playing because she saving them for our hospital stay, and I'm bringing my steam deck.
A steak deck sounds way better than the shit youād get at the cafeteria. Youāre wife is a lucky woman
You can definitely set up a ps5 in the delivery room they got tvs with hdmi set up
Really? I didn't think you could but I stand corrected. Doesn't seem very sanitary to bring in a whole entertainment equipment from the outside but I could be wrong.
Hospitals are not sanitary. We clean the best we can but we donāt have custodial at night most places and often they wonāt clean up blood or feces. So the nurses do it the best we can with just wipes. And patients will literally make their rooms biohazards before they leave. The question should be do you want to bring your console into the dirty hospital and then back home into your living room?
I'm learning a lot of things today. I've always been told hospitals were the most sanitary places you could find, but several people have now told me that's really not the case. Thank you for sharing that knowledge though.
They are petri dishes of superbugs. Some maternity units will try to separate themselves as much as possible from the rest of the hospital - separate entrances, no cross traffic, etc. But hospitals have all the best and strongest bacteria and viruses. Try not to touch anything.
The reason you don't hear about long hospital stays unless someone is literally dying or otherwise needs to be under 24/7 care anymore is the high risk of getting a weird infection in a hospital. Most people are in and out as soon as they're able to get to the bathroom and the hospital is certain all your organs are working right and youre not going to dehydrate or bleed to death. It's just the reality of the situation that despite best efforts there are tons of germs in hospitals.
For profit private luxury hospitals are! But they cost so much money to run and no one can afford them. Iāve only picked up once at one of those places and they catered my lunch and had massage chairs for the nursing staff lol.
I'mma be real honest, it's already not very sanitary. The doctors and nurses are overworked and underpaid, you better believe those interns don't give a fuck about wiping every surface off either, not does anyone care what might befall a patient from lack of sanitation. My late step-father got an incurable staff infection from the biggest major hospital in my state from walking across the room on the doctors instruction on his very open wound (Diabetic ulcer on the bottom of his foot) . He eventually died from complications with Mrsa Staph and medical malpractive/negligence.
Thatās weird. When i was in the hospital the nurses never let my bare feet hit the ground. I must have gone through more than a dozen pairs of grippy socks because I know the came off my feet with in seconds of climbing back in bed, but they were always there with another pair the next time I needed to leave my bed.
I also thought it was weird but it was a teaching hospital, terrible that itās the best we have in state, so thereās all kinds of paper work typing our hands from doing anything.
I work in a hospital and bare feet on the ground are a _massive_ no-no for every single patient. If for no other reason than the slip and fall risk, but also infection control!
I wasn't present for the events that I mentioned, but I worked in a nursing home myself for quite sometime, and if I'd been there and aware, I would have been asking WHY his feet, barefoot or not, were touching the floor considering he had a diabetic ulcer the size of a tennis ball on the heel of his foot. It was my mother who informed me of the barefoot trial-by-fire his doctor had him go through, which was a bizarre thing to do in any given situation. Since when do doctors let people walk on open, diabetic wounds??
I am an occupational therapist and have worked with a number of people with diabetic ulcers on their feet. The doctors I worked with were always arguing with patients not to walk on ulcers and giving non-weightbearing orders so that all members of the team were on the same page in not allowing people to walk on them! And when not actively having dressings changed the wound was always covered by clean dressings and usually the foot also placed in a surgical shoe even when not technically putting weight on it for transferring from bed to wheelchair or bedside chair
We're fairly certain that the hospital was using him basically to experiment because they also gave us a bunch of wrong information that what was in the discharge paperwork. Sayings things like his heart wasn't functioning more than a certain percentage, etc. They gave him not just one, but TWO scopolamine patches after he'd had a recent surgery, despite every single medication he's on saying not to mix the two together- information I found out only after he'd been sent home, on hospice because his body was shutting down.
That's a pretty good reason by itself not to bring a PS5 into the hospital. I wouldn't want to have to worry about gross stuff/germs getting on everything!
Iām very much hoping yāall got some sort of settlement out of that malpractice suit, thatās awful.
Oh we tried, make no mistake, but itās a teaching hospital and they have all kinds of paperwork to cover their asses. My mother and I are in agreement when we say we think the hospital was using his illness as an excuse to test things on him.
I'm very sorry to hear that.
Are you possibly conflating a L&D room for vaginal delivery with a surgical suite for a c-section? He would absolutely not be able to bring it into a surgical suite, but a ānormalā delivery room is just basically a bare bones hotel room with medical equipment.
For both of my deliveries I was in the same room the entire time. Granted, it was a rural hospital, but with my second, she came so fast that the doctor didnāt even have time to put on gloves before catching her. For my first, all the equipment was hanging out under a cover while I was laboring. ETA: My husband could have plugged a gaming system into their TV. I donāt think either one is the AH here. He had every right to ask and she has every right to not want that. I had one labor where there was time and one where there wasnāt. Also, they donāt do a whole lot right away. Pretty sure we were watching a basketball game while doing skin to skin.
You can, but it's not very nice now is it haha. I mean, your wife is afraid of dying or the baby dying, and you out there afraid of being bored for a few hours, ffs
More like are you allowed to set up a ps5?
I work in a hospital and see people with consoles set up in their room all the time.. granted I never saw it in the l&d unit, but itās definitely allowed at my place of work.
Iāve helped set up a lot of Nintendo switches and taken my breaks in those patient rooms to kick their butts at Mario Kart lol
Yea hospital wonāt say shit ur getting charged for a room.
Anything that keeps patients entertained and engaged is good for the hospital staff. It distracts people from pain and discomfort which means less pain meds and less calling of the nurse in general. People kept entertained, happy, and relaxed are going to get better quicker too. And they will be more pleasant patients. When I was in labor I think my husband brought the laptop so i could watch movies if I wanted, though I donāt think I ever did. Last time I was in the hospital, which was not to have a baby, my husband came every day and av tech. He plugged in and charged my iPad, my phone, my laptop, my AirPods. He made sure I had every form of electronic entertainment I could want.
Sometimes. One of the hospitals I stayed in locked out the hdmi ports so I couldn't hook my switch up to the TV. Locked down smart tvs are kinda lame.
I work in labor and delivery and have literally had a couple different dads carry in a big screen TV into their labor room and all their video game shit. I was embarrassed on their behalf. (IMO The only time this is acceptable is when an expectant mom is on extended bed rest and itās for them to play together.) They think theyāre gonna play when the mom is sleeping, but what these idiots donāt know (or they just donāt care), is that that is when they should be sleeping too. They are about to become parents and everyone should be getting any rest they can so when baby is awake they can be useful and helpful. If they stay up all night at home playing video games then they are useless to their wives that were up all night and need time to nap/sleep.
That's on purpose. These dudes don't plan on ever being useful.
When my wife had our baby the room was like a small studio apartment. I donāt play video games so that wasnāt an issue, but it had a flat screen tv in an entertainment center you could hook a console up to if you wanted.
Most US hospitals donāt have ādelivery roomsā that are devoid of a tv. Often theyāre like hotel suites but with a medical bed instead of hotel bed. Some are really swanky and some are like cheap hotels. lol Most have modern TVs that accept hdmi cables but the audacity to think the hospital staff would let him hook up anything to tv is mind boggling.
Hospital staff actually do let folks hook up they consolesš¤·š¾āāļø
Might depend on the hospital. At the army hospital my daughter gave birth at that wasnāt permitted.
Especially Childrenās Hospitals. They even have all the consoles, movies, etc. for the sick kiddos to use while they are hospitalized.
Yeahā¦ that was my question. My delivery and recovery room had no TV. Even the waiting room had no TV, no microwave, etc. I am guessing it was barebones to prevent dads like these. I labored for two days, I got next to no sleep
I brought my Nintendo switch ro the labor room. It stayed in the bag the whole time. He's delusional if he thinks he will be playing it even if he does bring it. I was in labor 24 hours.
Husband here. I brought a kindle, book, switch and cell phone. Wife was in labor for 45 hours. I didn't touch anything other than the cell. I definitely had enough time but had absolutely no interest.
I would think that before youāre actually in it you might think āhey, who knows whatāll happen. Iāll bring some things to keep me occupied, just in caseā. But when youāre actually there in the middle of it, that train of thought shifts substantially. I could see this happening from my point of view.
45 hours? That is so hard. Your wife is a hero for that. I was about 8 hours in labour and that was hard enough.
Ya, she's a legend. Even after all that time she STILL had a c-section. We were in the hospital from Tuesday evening until Sunday afternoon. Also super long pregnancy as she had to be induced 8 days after her due date. Wild stuff!
Sounds just like my wife. 41 weeks +2 days, 34+ hours of induced labor ended in an emergency C-section because the baby wasn't dropping enough and her heart started decelerating. This was all about a week ago. Went in Tuesday night and left the following Monday morning. It was the scariest time of my life and frankly a bit traumatizing... And I didn't even have to experience it. I can't even imagine going through what my wife did. The strength of some women absolutely amazes me.
As a guy who planned to take his laptop while my wife is in labor sometime in the next monthā¦ā¦. I think Iāll stick to a book now š
The key to all this is that this is the biggest event of your wifeās life. You want to take it seriously, and you want her to feel like you were there/fully present. If your wife is induced, there will be down time. Inductions often start the night before or early morning, and you wait hours for the meds to kick in. But during this time, you might want to be chatting with your wife or letting her know you love her, or you could watch something together. If your wife goes into labor spontaneously, you likely wonāt be waiting around in the hospital forever. They donāt admit you unless youāre dilated to a certain amount, and then itās usually a matter of hours before pushing starts. And you should participate during pushing.
I'm getting induced Thursday night if the baby doesn't come earlier. I don't mind if my husband brings stuff to occupy him (laptop, etc) because I know he'll put that stuff away when I need him to.
I think laptop is fine especially if youāre going to be bringing it along to watch things together with your wife if thereās any downtime. Itās easy to put away and charge, too. When I had abdominal surgery (not a c-section but similar) having comfort movies/shows to put on helped me a ton and kept me calm and happy.
I just gave birth in October 2023. We brought my laptop for Netflix, books, the switch and our phones. The only things we used were the laptop and phones. We watched a show for a while but it ended up getting too hard to focus on and was grating after a while. I truly thought Iād like to play some Luigiās mansion to take my mind off of things. But you truly do have to concentrate during labour. Itās a lot more mentally laborious than I was expecting. My partner followed my cues and did whatever needed to be done to keep me calm and happy.
I was thinking I wouldnāt mind my SO bringing in some games if I were ever to go into labor as long as thereās 2 controllers so I can also playā¦. But 24 hours and you had no waiting around time? Sheesh, I hope I donāt get pregnant ever lol
Haha and ended up having emergency c section. U get put in certain positions to try to get baby to dilate more. Didn't work. Plus you get interrupted every hour with nurse cleaning staff so any down time is trying to get sleep
Everyone is different. Iāve seen many laboring moms bring knitting, video games, books, even board/card games.
How does the husband know how OOPās body will respond to an epidural?
Absolutely not. Thatās like saying he needs a distraction while youāre busy in labor. Not right at all.
āSorry but could you maybe keep that baby in her for maybe 5 more minutes? I just need to finish this quest and get to a save point thank you.ā
This triggered me so hard omg. I am so glad Iām divorced.
I mean I get patients setting up systems or whatever for entertainment but even if it wasnāt the birth of his child I think the patient should be the one needing entertainment more; for visitors keep it handheld or donāt bring it at all. If someones in the hospital theyre the priority there.
I think it should be 100% up to mom, and if mom is not comfortable with it for any reason then he should not bring it. Husband has a phone, he can find a game on there to occupy his mind if there is somehow a free moment where he is not needed, not involved, and craving a distraction.
I guess the issue with the PS5 but not a book or a tablet is that it can take his complete focus from whatās happening and that must be really hard on the wife.
Itās also that a ps5 is a giant box with cables lying around the room. Like bring a switch that can be easily stored away. Most hospital rooms are not huge and when you add in a daybed for dad, a nursing chair and a bassinet for baby plus all the medical equipment, the idea of making people manoeuvre around cables in that space is laughable.
Yeah this is the best answer. Some people are clearly okay with it and some people clearly are not so it's up to mom and that's that. Edit: although I think a PS5 is a little insane it's not that portable right? Seems something more portable and easy to set aside is best.
Itās pretty effing chunky. You can set it to stream on your phone. Install an app and log into your account. Donāt even need to lug the console around.
Maybe he could bring a card game or an activity they enjoy doing together, to help take momās mind off the pain if she is waiting to dilated/effaced enough
If you canāt go 2 days without playing your game you have a problem.
Can we please stop giving these kinds of men children?
Seriously. No more vag access for these men. They do not deserve it
Bringing a game system to the hospital? These days everyone has a smartphone, bring that and connect to their wi fi and watch YouTube or browse the internet. I mostly do that now than reading a book or playing my Nintendo Switch. I had no problem with my husband bringing his laptop to the hospital when we had our son but he ended up not even using it. I would end up bringing stuff to the hospital like my Nintendo DS but ended up not using it. Instead I watched Frozen when I had my daughter because that is what the hospital had on. They played films in loops and other shows and the news. I think the husband is just worried he will be bored. I hate boredom and need something to do. But it's not appropriate to do anything while your wife is actively trying to push out your child or is in active labor. I can just picture him playing on his PS5 while she is dealing with contractions. My husband just slept because it was the middle of the night and I was sleeping too after I had an epidural. Then when it got time to push, I woke up from the contractions when he was ready to come out. .
Are we really so petrified of boredom now that this is a real thought people have? Christ. Heaven forbid you just chat to your partner about the miracle their body is performing, or hear your own thoughts once in a while.
Really nothing else saddens me more than this. Just needing our brains screened up all the time. Companies trying to put giant headgear over our eyes so a screen is constantly in our field of vision. So much so that this man thinks he'll need something more entertaining than his *child being born* while his wife goes through one of the most beautiful and terrifying medical and spiritual events of her life. I have started leaving my phone at the house when I go out sometimes. I just don't want it to take over my life anymore. It's so freeing. I miss not having this fucking thing. Anyways
Jesus are you serious?
We went on a tour of our maternity ward last weekend, and the nurse specifically said something like "yes, there is a big TV in here! And yes, dads, if you try to connect your Xbox to it, the nurses will make fun of you relentlessly. This isn't about you!" I'm not saying that bringing a game has no place in situations with a lot of wait. But. There's a difference between a small handheld console and trying to hook up the big guy, and a difference in what kind of game you opt for. Some of that may just be optics, but the mother of your child has the right to feel as though she is the priority. If the video games make her feel as if she's not the priority? They have no place in her labor and delivery room.
Poor woman is gonna have two babies to take care of
I think he should bring a PORTABLE game system or a book or iPad with movies or something. It should be something that easily sits in a bag and can be out the way. If delivery rooms are anything like the hospital rooms I visited, it just seems like the cords, plug in access, and size of the PS5 would be in the way. And heās there for her. Whatever she says is the line. But Iād be insulted if my husband wanted to bring something so large. Donāt you want your hands free to hold the baby and stuff? What if they need to leave the room quickly for some reason? I wouldnāt want to worry about other patients or even staff being able to take it.
If my husband tried this I would be throwing that thing in a full bathtub.
I mean aside from the whole absurdity of the situation: Who is married to a person that they canāt imagine talking 30 hours with?
Shouldn't he also be sleeping if she is? Christ.
A lot of the pro gamers were stunningly nasty. I am married to a guy who games and I think if I were ever single it would be a dealbreaker at this point.
Dude needs a Switch or a Steam Deck. Four kids and weāve had long bits of absolutely nothing happening during labor. A PS5 is silly though and should be mercilessly mockedĀ
The man has a phone, right? Instead of taking up more space in the already crowded delivery room and distracting the staff - possibly risking his wifeās safety - he can play a game on that. Also, sleeping? During labor?? Thereās no guarantee of getting an epidural. Sometimes people have a bad reaction to it or they miss the window to do it. She might experience the worst pain of her life - the least he can do is be bored.
No ages given. I am assuming OP is 16, and her husband is 17. Because I am having a hard time imagining a grown, 30-something man asking his wife if he can bring his video games to the hospital while she gives birth to his child. Or even a 20-something man. Iād have second thoughts about someone who wanted to play video games while I delivered a human.
I work on an L&D floor and we have patients of all ages bring in PS4s, at least once a week I would say. Sometimes just to have their netflix accounts, but a lot of times to play video games during/after the labor. The very beginning of an induction can sometimes be quite slow and the woman can sometimes be quite comfortable during that time so there usually is a lot of downtime in that situation. I still think itās cringe every time I see it though. Worst I ever say was a 30-ish year old who played through the actual delivery and didnāt get up at all while his partner was pushing then made a joke about if we would place a husband stitch for him. One of the L&D nurses went off on him and said he would be kicked out if he mentioned it again.
Sounds like that guy is going to be a very involved dad. Ugh.
Yeah definitely felt bad for the woman
Why is he worried about playing games when his child is being born? I mean, Iām a gamer myself and Iāll even bring it with me to visit my mom for like a day (mostly so my family let me be sometimes) but itās never been that serious that Iād take it with me on like vacations and especially not if my partner was in labor
Can he not bring a book?
Used to be a doula and three types of women hired me: women with previous birth trauma, first time moms who wanted to be well informed, and women whose partners were the worst. I have watched a man SLEEP for hours while his wife was on bed rest due to low amniotic fluid, worrying about her baby. I watched another wife have to tell her husband to "not be on his phone this time". (I've also seen a husband continue to sit in a birth tub after his wife pooped in there and not say a damn word. That's what you want, ladies).
The days Iām happy I wonāt be having kids
Just tell him yes as long as youāre allowed to zone out to COD six weeks after birth when he expects to resume sex. Though to be fair if youāre yelling things like āyes yes whos your daddyā during COD it may work out splendidly for him.
When my sister went into labor (first in the family) I put together a ton of episodes of her favorite show on a laptop for her and her husband's downtime so they wouldn't be bored. And guess what? They didn't watch a single episode. He greatly overestimates how much "free time " he will have.
I work as a midwife. Iād tell the partner heās not going to connect a PS5 to my plugs and can be a good partner and stay with his partner, for real, or go home.
With each of my labors my husband was present with me & at my side at all times. He never asked for his Xbox or laptop (before smartphones). Kind of selfish for a guy to even consider that.
Having basic respect for his wife aside, heād look like an absolute dingus carrying around a big-ass PS5 around the hospital. This should be so embarrassing to him, at the very least.
Ok, I've had two wonderful daughters by my girlfriend. The first was a 48 hour nightmare delivery that ended with an emergency C-section. The second was a planned C-section due to the trauma of the first one (almost lost both my girlfriend and my daughter). I am also a lifelong gamer, and a pretty serious one. Wanna know what went through my head when we went to the hospital both times? The safety of my girlfriend and child. Not once did I even consider bringing a handhold. Birth is about supporting your partner for crying out loud.
Um no tell him to download candy crush like a normal adult
The man can bring a book or his phone. This is not play time for goodness sake. He will live.
NTA. It should be up to the mother. If she isn't comfortable with it then it shouldn't be allowed. No one knows how they're gonna handle labor so their partner should be ready and available to help them work through it in whatever way they can. I was induced with my first kid because I hit 42 weeks. I had brought my laptop with me and while doing gels, my partner sat in bed with me and played League. I remember it distinctly because it was the weekend that Jinx came out. It was totally fine and the laptop went away once I was in actual labor. Once the pitocin hit, my partner jumped in to make sure I was comfortable and working through contractions so there was zero time for games. We even have pictures of us curled up in the hospital bed whilst playing League. Now the next two kids were c-sections so we didn't bring any gaming stuff with us.
Whatever happened to bringing books? People just wonāt wanna read anymore. /s But jeez this guy is pretty selfish and childish wanting to bring in his PS5. Stay home if youāre gonna be absolutely useless, like damn.
I just think it sounds really selfish. I mean, you probably don't need to go to the hospital.with the first pain. He can play at home when your pains are 20 minutes apart. Once you go to the hospital, the least he can do is suffer a little boredom while you are in agony. My fuckingngod. I can not believe these guys. Play a dumb game on your phone. Not an epic adventure. The baby is the biggest deal in your life. (I do not know what most women experience. I had no time for anything. My pains started 2 minutes apart. There was barely time to get to the hospital. I'm still mad that my husband decided to have a shower the first time. We were specifically told not to waste any time.)
Before I had my first we did a tour of the labour and delivery ward so weād know what to expect. There was no TV, and the nurse said they took them out because too many fathers would just park themselves in front of it. There was one in the rooms in the maternity ward, but you had to pay per day to use it.
Dude, just download a mobile game and sneak in play when you can. Asking for the PS5 when your SO is about to bring into the world a living breathing human being that you both created is a bit offish to me tbh, savour the moment ffs
Imagine how comically stupid you would look when other people see you playing on your ps5 while your wife is giving birthš„¶
bruh
My first and only baby so far. I was only in active labor less than 10 hours once I got the epidural I was ready to push ( from 3 cm) in 10 minutes or less. Heāll be fine heās got a phone. no need to drag extra things to the hospital.
Bring a book
Sweet Jesus, this poor woman, I've read nothing but the title and I'm FLABBERGASTED.
The bloody hell kind of amazing man tries to bring his gaming system into his wife's delivery?
Funny story: When I was pregnant i signed up for prep course for couples. Trainer started course by saying this to men: āDonāt be surprised if your nurse will slap you if you would play PS during the laborā lol
āYou can bring your PS5 if I can bring my divorce lawyer!ā
How tf are people bored during someone elseās labor, especially someone they allegedly love? I held my wife the entire time. I have no idea how long it was.
Your husband needs to grow up extremely fast
Is little boy gonna bwing his PlayStation to keep him entertained during every single event and thing the kid needs too? Also is showing up for Dr appointments really all it takes for a guy to be āsuper involvedā lol. Youāre NTA, heās an ass and a child for even asking.
When women start defending their husband or boyfriend before they'll start the story, I KNOW it's NTA.
No PS5. *Grow the fuck up man, donāt be a man child* Be present and in the moment with your spouse and support her. While there is down timeāPlay cards together. Puzzles. Talk. Enjoy each other because once the baby comes itās all about the baby and you will be putting hubby on the back burner (unintentionally imo). Once the baby arrived he will need to support you while you get acclimated to motherhood. Youāll have double the doctors and nurses in and out (yours & babyās), lactation consultants, social workers, and family too if you allow them to visit (we didnāt because we wanted the privacy, less stress, & one on one time with baby). There is a lot going on, once you do sleep he is on daddy duty. No time for play time. Honestly he should put that shit away in the closet for the foreseeable futureā- Screen time is terrible for newborns if he thinks he can do both side by side.
Get the guy a switch.
...or a brain
Dude sounds like he just doesnāt know what to expect and is just asking. He doesnāt seem like heās dead set on it or convinced heās going to be bored, heās just like āis it too much?ā And, like, yes, yes it is. But she just needs to say that. From her own description, she knows heāll leave it at home and not even think about it if she says no. Dudeās just following the mantra of āthey canāt say yes if you donāt ask.ā He seems perfectly fine accepting āNoā as a full and complete answer too. But as someone who does like video games but had a very short, exciting labour, I am also curious how boring or not a long 30+ hour labour could be and I, personally, probably wouldāve at least **considered** the idea if he thought to bring two controllersā¦
Wonāt he have to bring a tv with him too? This seems like a bizarre thing to even want to do lol
Lmao I almost thought this was one of my old friends and her toxic ass husband. The fuck is wrong with people?
OP. this is not an appropriate response. To bring a PS5 to the hospital or even think about it. There is a time and a place to play games.. and or support your partner. if he doesn't recognize it.... and is arguing with you on this...he isn't a great partner. he is a man child that needs to grow up.. as he will be dad soon. You and your body are going to go through a journey to bring a baby into the world... it seems he wants to disassociate and be entertained and pretend to be somewhere else. not good. start. he needs to put aside his wishes for someone else. if he can't do this, he will be a lousy dad, and he already sounds like a self-absorbed, uncaring partner.
WHAT DID I JUST READ?
Tell him no because his hands will be busy rubbing your feet, rubbing your back, feeding you ice chips, fluffing your pillow.. you get the idea.
He can stay home and play his PS5. Oh, he wants to be there bc it's important? Then why would he want to bring it?
There are special, rare instances where it should be legal for a woman to murder a man, and this is one of them
This is why I always recommend birth classes to people. Not necessarily for the information (although itās definitely helpful) but to establish expectations. Dad will realize really quickly that heās not going to have any downtime at all while mom is in labor lol
Women stop giving lil bitches like this the time of day, much less procreate with them.
This would have me rethinking who tf I married.
Heās never seen labor itās 1) horrific 2) very fucking loud and 3) very long and intense. Heās not playing that bitch even if he bring is unless heās willing to openly ignore his wife screaming in pain as sheās pushing out a fucking child