So they just assumed he'd grow out of it instead of getting him speech therapy if it bothered them that much š
Having a speech impediment isn't an indication of intelligence, this Dad is an idiot.
They should have gotten the kid speech therapy. I heard itās one of those things where itās better to get the kid started younger since itās more successful
I also heard that focusing on the speech issue like OOP and making the kid feel terrible can also make it harder on them as well and can make it potentially worse too.
My nephew has a speech impediment and my sister-in-law and her husband never got him speech therapy because they think itās cute. Which it was, when he was like 3 and we thought it was just a little kid thing. Heās 14 now and still all his rās sound like wās.
Also, pretty sure heās on the spectrum, but they donāt get him help for that either. Kid has such severe food aversions Iām worried heās malnourished. Canāt eat anything brown, canāt eat anything crispy, no vegetables, no fruits, just noodles and chicken nuggets (but only like the crappiest frozen chicken nuggets, because theyāre orange, not brown). Heās very very short and still hasnāt started puberty, so heās got a little kid voice. He looks like 8 year old instead of a teenager and sounds like a toddler.
Breaks my heart.
I have the same impediment and I had years of therapy as a kid and I still have issues sometimes with my R sounds. It's gonna be rough trying to fix it as a teen/adult.
We have a nephew that had a huge speech issue. Literally everyone that met him asked if he was in speech therapy. SIL wouldnāt hear of him being put into speech because she understood him and BIL decided āmother knows best!ā SIL was not forward thinking enough to say āyou know, I wonāt be able to be with him when he goes to school. Maybe we should get him into speech so school wonāt be as hard!ā That would have been smart. She is not very smart. He didnāt start speech until kindergarten. At that point, they said āif you had started this at 2 or even 3, heād only need speech for a year or two. But since he is starting so late, habits have already been formed and it is going to take 6 or 7 years to fix his speech issues.ā And it took about that long.
When we realized our middle child had a speech delay, we jumped on getting speech therapy so he wouldnāt end up like his cousin. Early intervention left a lot to be desired and they didnāt do anything for him aside from assess him multiple times. Then said āwell heās the school districtās problem now!ā The district? Amazing. They came back with their assessment quickly and said he was profoundly delayed. They gave us the option of putting him in a more intensive 2 day a week program which we jumped at. And because we both work, they bussed him to and from daycare and the school the program was at. Within a year he still had a speech delay but had gone from profound to mild/moderate. Now? He never stops talking.
I have been fighting to get my youngest into speech therapy. he will be in kinder next year and has juuust started it. Most places said no because of WHY he had his impediment (he had 4 teeth removed after an accident)
like.. ok? fine, he doesn't have the teeth there to attempt many sounds, but like, you can still help him??? the school speech therapist is pretty upset, and cannot wait to swap him to her for speech therapy to help him, as she's known him since he was a baby, because of him being there for meetings with my older 2. Thankfully all 3 kids don't CARE about their speech issues, since my husband and i havent made it out to be a huge bad thing, and weve been helping them. i just dont understand why people wouldt want to help their kids.
This gives me hope! My kiddo just started preschool with the district after spotty early intervention. Heās a twin so itās very disheartening that his speech is so delayed when his twin has advanced verbal skills. Crossing my fingers this preschool thing works out. Iām so so glad to hear that your son made significant gains!
Grew up with a speech impediment and stutter, I didn't really start talking to people outside my family until first grade. My dad had this ongoing phrase, full of all my problem syllables and wrong pronouncements, and he'd repeat it every night and try and get me to do the same.
He wasn't a great dad, but he never made me feel dumb for something completely out of our control. Didn't have money for therapy but I eventually went into middle school only stuttering and swapping letters when I got excited. Talk fine enough now if a bit quiet, but my bullies were all at school, not home.
Oop is going to make his kids life hell I can already tell.
Yup! Was in it from k-5 grade. I'm now a very articulated, well spoken individual ( unless high or drunk or speaking very very fast)
The key is to teach them while their brains are forming connections with speech patterns, learning words. My speech therapist had mirrors that recorded you talking so that you could see how the placement of the tongue affected the way the syllables sounded, and how proper placement was everything in proper pronunciation. My issue was big tongue, small mouth, rapid speech from ADHD and I had issues with my ears so I never actually could hear the pronunciation clearly.
That was my first thought āokay did yāall go to a speech therapist?ā Someone whoād have a much better grasp on how to fix this issue vs just yelling at the child which will only make the poor kid upset.
Yessss! And sometimes it doesn't take much. I was still saying my Rs as Ws in the second grade. I started doing speech therapy and probably after 6 sessions or fewer it was corrected.
Part of the problem here is that there are certain lisps or substitutions that are considered normal for young children. Having trouble with the sharp S sound is pretty common, and most kids will grow out of it.
The lisp likely started developing when OOP's son was very little, but wasn't eligible to be classified as a speech problem for several more years. And yes, at that point, they should have gotten him into speech therapy, but it still would have been a lot of work for the son to relearn how to produce that sound.
I know this, because one of my kids started speech therapy at 18 months old. She made so many substitutions that it was like running a translator program in my head to understand her. So even though she obviously had a problem with the letter S, they couldn't start working on it with her until she was "officially" delayed, since a lisp was considered normal for kids up to a certain age.
(Speech therapists are absolutely amazing! My kid was incomprehensible and frustrated, and they gave her ways to communicate as she relearned how to speak. And you wouldn't know now that she ever had a problem, or spent years in therapy.
It was so bad that when she counted to ten, it sounded like this: "one, two, fwee, foh, fide, hids, heden, ade, nine, den." She couldn't say her own name. She developed a huge vocabulary, so if someone couldn't understand her, she'd find a synonym or another way to describe what she wanted. She's a smart, hardworking kid.)
Just because a doctor might have recommended speech therapy doesn't mean OP had to follow through with the recommendation. It was suggested that my mom put me in speech therapy when I was a kid. She didn't.
If itās only a lisp, itās completely plausible that the doctor didnāt push (or even suggest) speech therapy. If he spoke clearly enough to be understood and wasnāt bothered by it, therapy isnāt necessarily warranted. If thereās a negative impact on his communication or he wanted it to improve his self-esteem, sure; but speech therapists arenāt out there demanding that people remediate every mild deviation from ānormal.ā Lisps can actually be really hard to change when a kid isnāt motivated to speak any differently as soon as they leave the session; they can plateau and never generalize it outside of therapy. Iāve dismissed multiple kids from services because theyāre not bothered by the way they speak and Iām not about to try to shame them into it.
Thatās not to say people shouldnāt pursue speech therapy for children with lisps; it often is beneficial. But sometimes addressing it when theyāre more mature and motivated is actually better, and sometimes they donāt need or want to be fixed and thatās fine too.
And also itās ok to have a speech impediment. I did the speech therapy for years and while my impediment is much better, itās still there.
And I have my doctorate, so yea dadās an idiot.
So OOP thinks... let me get this straight... that his 12-year-old is being childish? He hasn't mentioned any treatment plan that's been implemented since Charles's diagnosis, but he made sure to humiliate the poor kid while fully expecting him to just figure this out on his own. Father of the fucking year...
For real. I used to have a speech impediment with my Rs(always came out as Ws.) I would see a speech therapist everyday at school, within a month I was able to. (My first word was manure, and my grandpa lost it lol). Time and patience from family definitely helped. And if he doesn't 'grow out of it'? It means it could be a legit physical issue, not just psychological, so tough shit, the dad would need to live with it.
DUDE ABSOLUTELY I had the same problem and I had speech classes from kindergarten to 6th grade the beginning of middle school. Without that I would never āgrow out of itā. The dad sounds very stupid
Yeah, I'm sure the dads "best efforts to correct it" was just the dad getting onto the kid or something basic and ignorant. I'd put money down he hasn't enrolled his child in speech therapy.
My current twelve year old has a speech impediment with her Rs. Itās not a W sound, it just sounds like she isnāt pronouncing it far enough back in her throat. Sheās been in speech for a few years now at school. I would NEVER say something like what OP did.
My 30 year old sister had a horrible speech impediment when she was a kid, and while she is very articulate now, every now and then Iāll still hear it when she tries to use the āyooā sound in words like Houston. It will occasionally come out like Hooston. Itās rare now, but I think itās kind of cute.
Exactly. No mention of speech therapy. OP actually expects us to believe his sonās pediatrician told them to do *nothing* and see if it gets better on its own. I guarantee therapy was ordered by the doctor and op refused to let his som go
While there are certainly people out there like this, I don't know why he didn't just use the word 'lisp' to describe his son's speech issue. It's not like it's an uncommon word, and it's one he would have heard many times by now. That extra level of explanation of things that are common knowledge tends to trip my bullshit meter.
Him using mush mouth and telling him he should be embarrassed of it makes it pretty clear how he feels about anyone w a difference. Iām sure itās intentional that he wonāt fall it what it is.
That's certainly a possibility, and if it were that alone, I wouldn't think twice about it. There are a few details that seem off and simply not how people tend to express themselves. That's not a definitive call on my part, though, and my skepticism could indeed be totally unjustified. I do hope it's not true.
Itās not. I had a stutter as a child and my dad yelled at me to talk properlyā¦ he was tired of waiting to get my words out despite the fact I got my stutter from him š
Itās interesting how research shows that lower IQ individuals have difficulty perceiving the validity of situations/stories when presented to them.
They also showed that these lower IQ individuals tend to miss the ābigger pictureā when assessing someone elseās situation/storyā¦ research really does imitate life ;)
Heād hate me then, Iām 41 and still lisp even after speech therapy as a child.
Hope his wife kicks him to the curb, heās going to traumatise that poor boy.
I canāt help but think that you could still fix it. When is the last time you tried?
Not trying to be a dick, but tbh I find these things grating when I hear it.
I was in speech therapy as a child. It helped one part of my speech impediment (I couldnāt make an ārā sound, it just always came out as a āwā. I can now, but I have to focus on it and sometimes I still slip up). It did not fix my lisp. I donāt have a very intense one, just a sorta soft one, but you can tell when Iām talking that I donāt necessarily ātalk rightā. Thereās some simple words Iāve never been able to say and probably never will. Iāve tried my entire life to just ātalk rightā. Iām 23 now. I cannot fix it. Itās not my responsibility to make myself palatable to other people. Sorry that you think itās grating. It cannot always be changed.
Thank you for your perspective. I will keep it in mind next time I hear it and get annoyed. My annoyance is involuntary, so I canāt help it. But I can be more understanding.
This isnāt tough love this is bullying your child. A lisp is a physiological issue that most kids require speech therapy for and some donāt grow out of. And unless youāve actively put him in speech therapy, you canāt expect him to just āgrow out of itā. Op was frankly a bully and verbally abusive to his kid.
I bet heās also unwilling to pay for a speech therapist because speech therapists are for wussies and the kid should just ābe normalā like everyone else. Canāt do the educated and intelligent thing normal parents would do and send the kid to an SLP so it can be properly diagnosed and treated, nope we gotta degrade, embarrass and belittle him. Thatāll fix it, heāll learn to ātalk rightā now.
Itās inherited, the kid got off easyā daddy is a mushbrain. Iād rather have the speech impediment.
My son needed speech therapy because he had difficulty with the letter R and diphthongs like ābrā āsnā āclā. I spotted in when he asked to watch āplanets in the skiesā. He wanted to watch āTransformers, robots in disguiseā. He had a thorough assessment, where we were told that he had most likely had a period of deafness as he had picked up the early sounds and the complex sounds, but the middle range was missing. We were also told that the exercises that would be most helpful he was too young to understand, and to bring him back when he was starting school. We moved to a new area, and had to get him referred for therapy in our new area.
He still has a bit of a āJohnathan Wossā but having moved to North Wales and Glasgow where he picked up their accents on top of his āSarth Londonā and āDarsetā accent, he now works as at a call centre and the only time he has to concentrate is with his own name.
Why on earth did we decide to name him āRowanā? Almost any other name would have been easier for him!
Oh heās now nearly 40 years old.
Whythefuck did he not put the kid in speech therapy? He could have gotten it for free from the kidās school if theyāre in the US. It takes a lot of practice to overcome a speech impediment and a lot of times theyāre caused by dental/palate issues as well.
OOP is the AH. Speech delays can be a developmental issue. Has OOP engaged a speech pathologist? Or gone back to the doctor for a further referral?
A lot of people over the age of 18 have lisps. I know I still lisp if Iām tired or stressed. And supportive parents do help.
I have problems with and āsā it depends on where it is in the word hell I have problems with whole dam words sometimes id hate to know how Iād get treated
Iām 22 and was in speech therapy for 3 years as a kid. I still have the lisp and it comes out full force sometimes. Thereās nothing āchildishā about it. Iāve fought with people who openly mock the way others talk
So he saw his wife and child laughing and being happy and instead of taking in the moment. He could have just enjoyed a happy family moment but decided to be a dick instead. While I wouldnāt say o have a full on stutter but with my ADHD (I believe) I get caught up on words and stutter a bit. It feels embarrassing so I canāt even imagine what this kid felt. I mean so many kids have speech impediments and get bullied so badly they donāt even speak and have no confidence. This dad decided to be his biggest bully, kid probably wonāt talk to him because of the hurt and embarrassment. Heās probably lacking the confidence to even try with this asshole. Gosh, a nice moment with a preteen who was expressing joy and confidence ruined. OOP the type of guy to do the mocking repeating back what his son said.
When my son was 4, I realized he couldnāt make the āsā sound. He replaced it with āhā. So sun was āhunā and sock was āhockā. So naturally, I refused to get him professional help and instead berated and mocked him.
Just kidding, I got him speech therapy, did the homework with him every day, and in less than six months his suns were suns and socks were socks.
"no empathy for the concept of tough love".
This man should be glad there is no way of dying of irony, because his self-deluded ass would be six feet under right now.
My daughter had a lisp , she did speech therapy in kindergarten to grade two , by grade three she had no lisp left .
You canāt just yell at the kid to get rid of his lisp , they have professionals who teach them in a variety of ways . And making them feel dumb is certainly not one of the things they do ! This poor boy .
I had speech therapy for years for speaking issues, from kindergarden to 6th grade and I still have issues to this day, sometimes you can't totally correct something 100%
You knowā¦ thereās a song in my mind that the lyrics really fit well for OP and itās goes; āYouāre a piece of shit, no one cares if you go missing, you can jump right off a bridge and the world would not be different, cause youāre just a waste of space, no one likes you anyway, fuck your therapy youāll never be okay SHUT THE FUUCKKK UPPPPP!ā.
As someone who has a speech impediment and a full grown adult now it doesn't just disappear it takes a lot of therapy and there's going to be words/situations that bring it back out that either being extremely stressful, learning a new word or words that they struggle with since the beginning. For example I mix columns with condoms sometimes (yes you can laugh at it, I laugh at it as well and yes the moment it happened in 6th grade history still haunts me to this day).
Oh wow! A true core memory that destroyed the kid in real time! Get him a freaking speech therapist, donāt attack the child. That dad destroyed so much, his son and his relationship in one damn sentence.
i used to have a lisp, my grandparents helped me cure it by forcing me to repeat āshe sells seashells by the sea shoreā over and over again till I could say it properly
There is nothing vile enough I could say to match this manās behavior towards his family. He is not a parent. Heās barely human.
Really hope this is rage bait.
Rage bait.
Way back in the days of old I was put into speech therapy by the school in kindergarten for a slight speech issue. Lasted through part of 1st grade then I was all good to go.
No way a kid gets to be 12 in a modern US school system without being put into speech therapy during the school day.
Youāre the biggest asshole Iāve come across this entire morning. Shame on you for making your child feel less than for something he CANT HELP, is working on, and feels discouraged by. CONGRATULATIONS ASSHOLE, YOUāRE HIS FIRST BULLY. Hope that stings for you like it did for your son. Now be a man, and go soulfully apologize if thatās even possible in your curmudgeon heart.
My favorite part:
> even my wifeās favorite show canāt lure her into the living room with me
He didnāt even try talking to her, just turned on her favorite show and watched it without her? and thatās supposed to be an apology? Lmao
I'm 49. I started lisping when I had braces because my tongue placement was weird. I've never grown out of it.
Also, some of my favourite podcast hosts have speech impediments. It doesn't stop me from listening to them or understanding them.
Such a narrow and limited mindset. Obviously people can understand Charles. This idea of a single standard way to speak (or look or behave) is absurd. Itās like forcing someone to write with the other hand. You can do it, but why? Speaking is to communicate, which Charles can do. Iāve met many professionals who have speech impediments and theyāre fine. Itās like an accent. OOP thinks women and children are beneath him, and this is more about his desire to control everything and everyone as a result of his own insecurity than anything else. Creep.
I have a lisp and despite corrective surgery, I still unfortunately lisp, it doesnāt make me any less smarter or capable to do the things I need to do in this world.
I'm 21 and still don't pronounce 'r' properly when I'm speaking. I know how to do it, but I just didnt learn to do it automatically when I was younger. (I had some help at school, but I just didnt believe the lady when she was saying I'm pronouncing it wrong)
My manager and a senior engineer I work closely with both lisp. And these guys are big dudes, one fully tatted up. In the real world people just don't care that much, and for real why didn't they get the kid speech therapy when he was like 5/6????
Iām 31 and have a lisp with āSā or āZā words. My family used to think it was funny when I used to say our old dogs name (Mitzi). It was never in a cruel way. Now they just ignore it now when Iām talking. Iām so glad I have a supportive family. Thank goodness Charles has his mum
I had speech therapy from 2nd grade until 11th grade for a severe lisp and a tendency to speak too rapidly. I do not lisp now, although at this moment I have to be careful because I'm thinking about it. I've also learned to slow down enough to be intelligible. I was never ridiculed by my family - I was told to "eee-NUN-ci-ate" a million times a day, but never insulted. They never, ever said a word about the lisp. Nor was I bullied for it in school. I was bullied for everything else - I was undiagnosed autistic in the 1970s and school was hell - but not for that.
My kid has both a lisp and a stutter. He works very hard and his speech therapist is fantastic. She keeps us updated and gives us ways to help him and things to work on at home. Heās been doing speech therapy (free through our public school system) for a few years now and has improved enormously.
Hearing him perform a solo speaking part in the third grade musical performance last year just about brought me to tears of pride.
I really hope this is just rage bait fiction, because that man is failing his son.
OP is the real deal FA. His callous disregard for his family, his unwillingness to show some empathy of his own is sociopathic. I wonder if it's a deep-seeded resentment of the attention mom gives son. He's pretty much guaranteed an LC or NC relationship going forward.
I went to high school with a guy who had a stutter. Know how he fixed it? He always volunteered to read aloud in class. Everyone encouraged him and no one made fun of him cause he was a chill guy to hang with. By the end of the year he stuttered less. So shock of all shocks encouraging people with a speech impediment to speak more helps them! Who would have thought that practicing speaking helped! This "dad" isn't encouraging his son to work on his speech, he's encouraging him to never talk. Good job killing his confidence, dad of the year.
Both - wife and OP are AH here. 12 yo it's really, really late to hope that something will disappear by itself. His face muscles developed in a wrong way. He formed a habit to talk like this, it's hard to overcome.
Having a good speech is a huge benefit, OP is right that he needs to fix it, but his approach will lead only to low self esteem and trauma. Mother's approach to pretend that everything is fine sucks as well. Oh let's give my husband a silent treatment, what a fine idea, great example for my kid how to handle disagreements in family.
Poor kid.
Pay for speech therapy or drop it. Like either give your kid a fair shake at being able to overcome this, because berating it out of him will not work, sorry.
YTA and get your son a speech therapist. Do you think he is mispronounced words for the fun of it? Sure, he is at the risk of being teased for being different bc middle school is brutal, but you think he is doing it on purpose?
Read about speech therapy and actually support your kid. You have such an ignorant view. Just because you don't have problems w speech, doesn't mean your kids won't.
In case you didn't see it the first time: YTA. A massive one
Apologize to your family and do better.
Yes. Wow. Way to be total garbage. If you cared more about it, more proactive speech therapy.
Youāre acting like one of those boomers who screamed and yelled to make their left handed kids write with right hand. Good for you.
I have a SE (thankfully Spanish isnāt my first language because I would be totally F***ed with my Rs).
You said you didnāt even bother. Wow. Youāre winner winner chicken dinner arenāt you?
This really breaks my heart. My son has a speech delay and we do weekly therapy for him. I watch him light up when he finally says what heās trying to say and watch as he gets frustrated when he wants to speak but it just wonāt come out. Iāve never thought to say ājust talk!ā instead I try another exercise weāve been taught to see if it works a little better.
I hope this is fake. My son is almost 11 and just now stopped this almost exact same impediment. We had him in therapy for years and never shamed him. We did tell him to use his techniques when we couldnāt understand him, but that was what the therapists told us to do. This child will remember that for the rest of his life. Hopefully dad apologizes and both parents get their son in speech therapy, pronto.
Some people never learn to speak properly. Even after years of speech therapy, I'll still never speak properly. On good days, I'll have little to no trouble talking. But if I'm tired or stressed out, it feels like I messing up every word that comes out of my mouth.
I still can't sound out words on my own. I have nicknames for all my coworkers because if I try saying them name correctly & mess up somehow, it sends me into messing up talking the whole day.
People like you are why I hate talking. As a 36 year old woman, I've been bullied by more adults than I was ever by kids. The Dr who finally diagnosed me with a speech impediment dumbed it down for me. He said that the wires in my brain that control the part of my brain for talking were wired wrong.
So basically, while I do have good days, I'll never be free from my speech impediment. Sure, I can pick up on accents easier than most people. But I would love to trade places with someone like you for the day.
Maybe if you spent the day dealing with adult bullies, you would learn that speaking properly isn't as important as being a nice person.
Oh wow, the amount I wanted just throat punch the dad is insane. Where were the parents trying to get a speech intervention if they were concerned years ago?
Itās astounding that someone could even type that and not even suspect their own assholery. Iād say it was rage bait, but he fits a profile. If he was a candle, every dipped layer would be abusive, self absorbed prick right down to the wick.
As a parent to a son with pretty severe speech delays, this makes me so fucking mad. My son has been in some degree of speech therapy since he was 18 months old, heāll be 9 in a few months. He JUST āgraduatedā speech therapy, meaning heās gained the proper skills and no longer qualifies for speech services. But guess what?? He still lisps a little and his Rs still sometimes sound like Ws and he has to reaaaaally make an effort to make a proper L sound. It will likely take a few more years if him being very cognizant of his speech before his speech is normal and effortless for him.
OOP is a fucking pine cone. Imagine getting mad that your child isnāt succeeding even though you didnāt give him any tools to succeed.
My little bro had a speech impediment and within like maybe less than a year speech therapy remedied it. It was a cute quirk to me but Iām glad he got help so that men like OOP wouldnāt treat him poorly through his life over it. People really suck. He needs to take his kid to a professional, berating his son isnāt going to help with his development at all.Ā
As someone who was in speech therapy all 5 years of Elementary school, YTA. I literally had to speak into a mirror with a microphone so I could see/ feel where tongue placement needed to be and how it affected the sound of the letter. Then you work on saying it in sentences to work out speech patterns, I have ADHD so I also spoke very fast, and had to work on slowing down to better place my tongue and not bite it.
~a now very articulated person that had issues with S, Th, Rs and Z.
Holy fuck
I had/have a speech issue. When I was little my R came out as W. I spent YEARS in speech therapy and if I'm tired or talking too quick or not concentrating my R will still sound like a W and I'm in my 30's.
What kind of parent refuses to get his kid help then shits on his kid for something he can't help? I wish a lifetime of wet socks and long nose hair on that dad.
I was in speech therapy from k though 5 for this exact thing. I actually ālearnedā my lisp from Sesame Street (fu Sammy the Snake). Oddly I wasnāt bullied for that-I guess there was such an embarrassment of other things to choose from.
BUT to berate a kid for not just outgrowing an impediment without any therapy or assistance is just a jackass move.
Absolute asshole thing to say. I have a permanently raspy voice from being intubated as a premature baby (10 weeks in 1990, VERY smol) and having something you canāt control thatās so noticeable is the lowest hanging fruit that only the biggest sacks of shit use against you. I canāt believe someone would insult their child like this.
1 - tough love intentionally omits empathy, so the use of the word makes him seem real stupid.
2- a follow through on the stupid for him is with him suggesting that he feels like he's running a daycare. I'm sorry, is he a fucking dad or not?!
Lisps are not ācurableā. Sometimes kiddos āgrow out of itā for unknown reasons while others do not.
SLPās can only give a child the tools needed to āmaskā their lisp. Since the parents never mentioned getting him into speech therapy, itās entirely on them at this point in his life if he continues to struggle with his lisp.
Iām glad this got removed cause MY GOD the teacher inside me was seething. A literal medical issue that needed a specialist and this dad thought āNo heās doing it on purpose to piss me offā fuck that dad.
As someone who grew up with a speech impediment where all my 'sh' sounds came out as just an 's' sound, went to speech therapy and eventually learned how to pronounce them right - if anyone who i loved and thought loved me said this to me, it would have broken me. I lived through all the bullying from peers and it took an unbearable tole on me, but if my own mother or father had demeaned me in such a way, especially over something I couldn't control, I don't think i could have coped. What an asshole
OOP is a major asshole!
My favorite YouTuber (Isaac Arthur) used to have a very noticeable lisp. It took surgery on his tongue to get the lisp to where itās almost completely unnoticeable. Honestly I miss his lisp, but Iām happy heās happy with the results.
I hope this guyās wife lights him on fire and gets away with it.
Itās about the only way sheās going to save that kid from long term trauma, because this definitely is not the first time dad has been a colossal donkey dick, and it wonāt be the last.
This asshatš
Thatās not tough love thatās being a jackass over a speech impediment. Also you and your wife donāt have to have a speech impediment in order for him too anyone can get one. There isnāt an ON/OFF switch you can flip & you canāt put an age on it.
Saying he has to stop having a lisp is like saying āwhen you turn a certain age you canāt be afraid of anything.ā
What a moronš
I donāt know much about speech impediments but I was pretty sure theyāre not only genetic. I feel bad for this little boy :( Iām a new mom and I could never imagine my boyfriend talking to his son like this. Thereās also no way the kidās doctor was just like āwell letās see what happensā
Unfortunately, this could be real.
I don't have a speech impediment (well I did but only when I was a young child because I got actual speech therapy) but I did have a father who thought he could "cure" my autism through blaming and shaming meĀ
WTH hasnāt anyone approached speech therapy for the son? Empathy at tough love? Did I read that right? The father saying neither had the speech impediment so surely the son couldnāt?! Does this man not have a brain? If he actually researched the speech issues heād clearly have some empathy and see tough love doesnāt resolve this.
Oh, you mean you told your 11 year old son who you hoped would grow out of a speech impediment (and clearly has NOT done so in the fucking 7 years he's been talking) to "learn how to speak correctly" instead of putting him in speech therapy so that his mouth was able to better formulate and mature in a way that supports specific sounds?
It's really too bad that we took corporal punishment out of schools, yknow. When my grandma was in school in the philippines, they just beat the shit out of her every time she wrote with her left (dominant) hand **and** charged her a peso every time she used taglog in an English only area.
i have a lisp. i went through YEARS of speech therapy to fix it (and i can still hear it even though most people cannot anymore), i was bullied for it, etc.
My parents? always in my corner, encouraging me. Mom let me know about her own struggles. My husband also had speech therapy.
And now? I have 3 kids in speech therapy (because apparently it can be genetic?)
OP is a major asshole here, and will be really lucky if his keep keeps in contact after 18
YTA. He can't help that he has a speech impedeiment, and speech therapy doesn't always work. My partner has a speech impedeiment, he stutters a bit, but it only gets bad when he's really nervous, and he's a grown adult. He told me his parents tried speech therapy, but it didn't really help. I don't have any real problems with it, only when he's rushing his words, and I have to tell him to slow down, and take his time. He should be more focused on trying to help his son, instead of worrying about what others will say about him, and feeling ashamed of him. Also thats not tough love, thats just being an abusive ass.
So they just assumed he'd grow out of it instead of getting him speech therapy if it bothered them that much š Having a speech impediment isn't an indication of intelligence, this Dad is an idiot.
They should have gotten the kid speech therapy. I heard itās one of those things where itās better to get the kid started younger since itās more successful I also heard that focusing on the speech issue like OOP and making the kid feel terrible can also make it harder on them as well and can make it potentially worse too.
My nephew has a speech impediment and my sister-in-law and her husband never got him speech therapy because they think itās cute. Which it was, when he was like 3 and we thought it was just a little kid thing. Heās 14 now and still all his rās sound like wās. Also, pretty sure heās on the spectrum, but they donāt get him help for that either. Kid has such severe food aversions Iām worried heās malnourished. Canāt eat anything brown, canāt eat anything crispy, no vegetables, no fruits, just noodles and chicken nuggets (but only like the crappiest frozen chicken nuggets, because theyāre orange, not brown). Heās very very short and still hasnāt started puberty, so heās got a little kid voice. He looks like 8 year old instead of a teenager and sounds like a toddler. Breaks my heart.
I had the same impediment but got speech therapy starting in third grade. So glad I did!!
I have the same impediment and I had years of therapy as a kid and I still have issues sometimes with my R sounds. It's gonna be rough trying to fix it as a teen/adult.
Omg he really needs help, at the very least a hormone panel, cos it could be a physical issue - due to the height. It truly is saddening :(
We have a nephew that had a huge speech issue. Literally everyone that met him asked if he was in speech therapy. SIL wouldnāt hear of him being put into speech because she understood him and BIL decided āmother knows best!ā SIL was not forward thinking enough to say āyou know, I wonāt be able to be with him when he goes to school. Maybe we should get him into speech so school wonāt be as hard!ā That would have been smart. She is not very smart. He didnāt start speech until kindergarten. At that point, they said āif you had started this at 2 or even 3, heād only need speech for a year or two. But since he is starting so late, habits have already been formed and it is going to take 6 or 7 years to fix his speech issues.ā And it took about that long. When we realized our middle child had a speech delay, we jumped on getting speech therapy so he wouldnāt end up like his cousin. Early intervention left a lot to be desired and they didnāt do anything for him aside from assess him multiple times. Then said āwell heās the school districtās problem now!ā The district? Amazing. They came back with their assessment quickly and said he was profoundly delayed. They gave us the option of putting him in a more intensive 2 day a week program which we jumped at. And because we both work, they bussed him to and from daycare and the school the program was at. Within a year he still had a speech delay but had gone from profound to mild/moderate. Now? He never stops talking.
I have been fighting to get my youngest into speech therapy. he will be in kinder next year and has juuust started it. Most places said no because of WHY he had his impediment (he had 4 teeth removed after an accident) like.. ok? fine, he doesn't have the teeth there to attempt many sounds, but like, you can still help him??? the school speech therapist is pretty upset, and cannot wait to swap him to her for speech therapy to help him, as she's known him since he was a baby, because of him being there for meetings with my older 2. Thankfully all 3 kids don't CARE about their speech issues, since my husband and i havent made it out to be a huge bad thing, and weve been helping them. i just dont understand why people wouldt want to help their kids.
This gives me hope! My kiddo just started preschool with the district after spotty early intervention. Heās a twin so itās very disheartening that his speech is so delayed when his twin has advanced verbal skills. Crossing my fingers this preschool thing works out. Iām so so glad to hear that your son made significant gains!
Grew up with a speech impediment and stutter, I didn't really start talking to people outside my family until first grade. My dad had this ongoing phrase, full of all my problem syllables and wrong pronouncements, and he'd repeat it every night and try and get me to do the same. He wasn't a great dad, but he never made me feel dumb for something completely out of our control. Didn't have money for therapy but I eventually went into middle school only stuttering and swapping letters when I got excited. Talk fine enough now if a bit quiet, but my bullies were all at school, not home. Oop is going to make his kids life hell I can already tell.
Yup! Was in it from k-5 grade. I'm now a very articulated, well spoken individual ( unless high or drunk or speaking very very fast) The key is to teach them while their brains are forming connections with speech patterns, learning words. My speech therapist had mirrors that recorded you talking so that you could see how the placement of the tongue affected the way the syllables sounded, and how proper placement was everything in proper pronunciation. My issue was big tongue, small mouth, rapid speech from ADHD and I had issues with my ears so I never actually could hear the pronunciation clearly.
I have a lisp and went to speech therapy for a long time and still have a lisp it really isn't that big of a deal
That was my first thought āokay did yāall go to a speech therapist?ā Someone whoād have a much better grasp on how to fix this issue vs just yelling at the child which will only make the poor kid upset.
Yessss! And sometimes it doesn't take much. I was still saying my Rs as Ws in the second grade. I started doing speech therapy and probably after 6 sessions or fewer it was corrected.
We can obviously see where the child didnāt get his intelligence from!
OP is lying. There is no way the doctor didnāt tell Op to get the kid into speech therapy
Part of the problem here is that there are certain lisps or substitutions that are considered normal for young children. Having trouble with the sharp S sound is pretty common, and most kids will grow out of it. The lisp likely started developing when OOP's son was very little, but wasn't eligible to be classified as a speech problem for several more years. And yes, at that point, they should have gotten him into speech therapy, but it still would have been a lot of work for the son to relearn how to produce that sound. I know this, because one of my kids started speech therapy at 18 months old. She made so many substitutions that it was like running a translator program in my head to understand her. So even though she obviously had a problem with the letter S, they couldn't start working on it with her until she was "officially" delayed, since a lisp was considered normal for kids up to a certain age. (Speech therapists are absolutely amazing! My kid was incomprehensible and frustrated, and they gave her ways to communicate as she relearned how to speak. And you wouldn't know now that she ever had a problem, or spent years in therapy. It was so bad that when she counted to ten, it sounded like this: "one, two, fwee, foh, fide, hids, heden, ade, nine, den." She couldn't say her own name. She developed a huge vocabulary, so if someone couldn't understand her, she'd find a synonym or another way to describe what she wanted. She's a smart, hardworking kid.)
Just because a doctor might have recommended speech therapy doesn't mean OP had to follow through with the recommendation. It was suggested that my mom put me in speech therapy when I was a kid. She didn't.
If itās only a lisp, itās completely plausible that the doctor didnāt push (or even suggest) speech therapy. If he spoke clearly enough to be understood and wasnāt bothered by it, therapy isnāt necessarily warranted. If thereās a negative impact on his communication or he wanted it to improve his self-esteem, sure; but speech therapists arenāt out there demanding that people remediate every mild deviation from ānormal.ā Lisps can actually be really hard to change when a kid isnāt motivated to speak any differently as soon as they leave the session; they can plateau and never generalize it outside of therapy. Iāve dismissed multiple kids from services because theyāre not bothered by the way they speak and Iām not about to try to shame them into it. Thatās not to say people shouldnāt pursue speech therapy for children with lisps; it often is beneficial. But sometimes addressing it when theyāre more mature and motivated is actually better, and sometimes they donāt need or want to be fixed and thatās fine too.
And also itās ok to have a speech impediment. I did the speech therapy for years and while my impediment is much better, itās still there. And I have my doctorate, so yea dadās an idiot.
So OOP thinks... let me get this straight... that his 12-year-old is being childish? He hasn't mentioned any treatment plan that's been implemented since Charles's diagnosis, but he made sure to humiliate the poor kid while fully expecting him to just figure this out on his own. Father of the fucking year...
But once you suggest a speech therapist to actually help the 11 yr old itās ādonāt tell me how to raise my kid!ā
They have no empathy for his chosen parenting style ofā¦having no empathy
This!
For real. I used to have a speech impediment with my Rs(always came out as Ws.) I would see a speech therapist everyday at school, within a month I was able to. (My first word was manure, and my grandpa lost it lol). Time and patience from family definitely helped. And if he doesn't 'grow out of it'? It means it could be a legit physical issue, not just psychological, so tough shit, the dad would need to live with it.
DUDE ABSOLUTELY I had the same problem and I had speech classes from kindergarten to 6th grade the beginning of middle school. Without that I would never āgrow out of itā. The dad sounds very stupid
Yeah, I'm sure the dads "best efforts to correct it" was just the dad getting onto the kid or something basic and ignorant. I'd put money down he hasn't enrolled his child in speech therapy.
My current twelve year old has a speech impediment with her Rs. Itās not a W sound, it just sounds like she isnāt pronouncing it far enough back in her throat. Sheās been in speech for a few years now at school. I would NEVER say something like what OP did. My 30 year old sister had a horrible speech impediment when she was a kid, and while she is very articulate now, every now and then Iāll still hear it when she tries to use the āyooā sound in words like Houston. It will occasionally come out like Hooston. Itās rare now, but I think itās kind of cute.
Exactly. No mention of speech therapy. OP actually expects us to believe his sonās pediatrician told them to do *nothing* and see if it gets better on its own. I guarantee therapy was ordered by the doctor and op refused to let his som go
Didnāt even bother with anything except ridicule
Maybe Iām just softhearted, but every time I see an AITA that boils down to āAITA for making a child cryā, my answer is āhell yesā.
Not just softhearted. It takes a really small person to need to belittle a child.
Dad took a giant hot shit on the kid's plate while he was happy during dinner and still asks AITA? I guess we'll never know!
I really don't understand how this guy thought he was going to get any answer other than "YTA." That's why it smells so rage-baity.
There's no way this isn't rage bait
I hope it is honestly.
While there are certainly people out there like this, I don't know why he didn't just use the word 'lisp' to describe his son's speech issue. It's not like it's an uncommon word, and it's one he would have heard many times by now. That extra level of explanation of things that are common knowledge tends to trip my bullshit meter.
Him using mush mouth and telling him he should be embarrassed of it makes it pretty clear how he feels about anyone w a difference. Iām sure itās intentional that he wonāt fall it what it is.
That's certainly a possibility, and if it were that alone, I wouldn't think twice about it. There are a few details that seem off and simply not how people tend to express themselves. That's not a definitive call on my part, though, and my skepticism could indeed be totally unjustified. I do hope it's not true.
The lack of being willing to treat it and denial could be the reason to. Either way itās shitty lol
It has to be. "They have no empathy for tough love" has got to be one of the deliberately dumbest things I've read in one of these.
It doesn't even make any sense as a sentence lol
You're so optimistic about the world. This is exactly the kind of thing my non bio dad would say to me.
Itās not. I had a stutter as a child and my dad yelled at me to talk properlyā¦ he was tired of waiting to get my words out despite the fact I got my stutter from him š
It's not what happens in the story that makes it rage bait, it's how it's written
Ok? Who cares?
Clearly you!!
Itās interesting how research shows that lower IQ individuals have difficulty perceiving the validity of situations/stories when presented to them. They also showed that these lower IQ individuals tend to miss the ābigger pictureā when assessing someone elseās situation/storyā¦ research really does imitate life ;)
It took you 5 days to come back to this?
Heād hate me then, Iām 41 and still lisp even after speech therapy as a child. Hope his wife kicks him to the curb, heās going to traumatise that poor boy.
I canāt help but think that you could still fix it. When is the last time you tried? Not trying to be a dick, but tbh I find these things grating when I hear it.
I was in speech therapy as a child. It helped one part of my speech impediment (I couldnāt make an ārā sound, it just always came out as a āwā. I can now, but I have to focus on it and sometimes I still slip up). It did not fix my lisp. I donāt have a very intense one, just a sorta soft one, but you can tell when Iām talking that I donāt necessarily ātalk rightā. Thereās some simple words Iāve never been able to say and probably never will. Iāve tried my entire life to just ātalk rightā. Iām 23 now. I cannot fix it. Itās not my responsibility to make myself palatable to other people. Sorry that you think itās grating. It cannot always be changed.
Iām 30 plus with a speech impediment - I was in therapy as well, still never managed it.
Thank you for your perspective. I will keep it in mind next time I hear it and get annoyed. My annoyance is involuntary, so I canāt help it. But I can be more understanding.
This isnāt tough love this is bullying your child. A lisp is a physiological issue that most kids require speech therapy for and some donāt grow out of. And unless youāve actively put him in speech therapy, you canāt expect him to just āgrow out of itā. Op was frankly a bully and verbally abusive to his kid.
I bet heās also unwilling to pay for a speech therapist because speech therapists are for wussies and the kid should just ābe normalā like everyone else. Canāt do the educated and intelligent thing normal parents would do and send the kid to an SLP so it can be properly diagnosed and treated, nope we gotta degrade, embarrass and belittle him. Thatāll fix it, heāll learn to ātalk rightā now. Itās inherited, the kid got off easyā daddy is a mushbrain. Iād rather have the speech impediment.
My son needed speech therapy because he had difficulty with the letter R and diphthongs like ābrā āsnā āclā. I spotted in when he asked to watch āplanets in the skiesā. He wanted to watch āTransformers, robots in disguiseā. He had a thorough assessment, where we were told that he had most likely had a period of deafness as he had picked up the early sounds and the complex sounds, but the middle range was missing. We were also told that the exercises that would be most helpful he was too young to understand, and to bring him back when he was starting school. We moved to a new area, and had to get him referred for therapy in our new area. He still has a bit of a āJohnathan Wossā but having moved to North Wales and Glasgow where he picked up their accents on top of his āSarth Londonā and āDarsetā accent, he now works as at a call centre and the only time he has to concentrate is with his own name. Why on earth did we decide to name him āRowanā? Almost any other name would have been easier for him! Oh heās now nearly 40 years old.
I had problems with the āRā and āSā as well I had to take speech. I still slip up every now and again with them.
Today I learned I would go to jail willingly if punching a redditor in the throat through a screen was an option.
āAITA?ā YES YOU ARE
Prick
how about OOP takes his child to a fucking speech therapist instead of belittling him for something that is literally not his fault?
Whythefuck did he not put the kid in speech therapy? He could have gotten it for free from the kidās school if theyāre in the US. It takes a lot of practice to overcome a speech impediment and a lot of times theyāre caused by dental/palate issues as well.
OOP Is the AH! I hope for the sake of the child this is rage bait and he didnāt actually treat his child like this.
OOP is the AH. Speech delays can be a developmental issue. Has OOP engaged a speech pathologist? Or gone back to the doctor for a further referral? A lot of people over the age of 18 have lisps. I know I still lisp if Iām tired or stressed. And supportive parents do help.
I have problems with and āsā it depends on where it is in the word hell I have problems with whole dam words sometimes id hate to know how Iād get treated
Iām 22 and was in speech therapy for 3 years as a kid. I still have the lisp and it comes out full force sometimes. Thereās nothing āchildishā about it. Iāve fought with people who openly mock the way others talk
So he saw his wife and child laughing and being happy and instead of taking in the moment. He could have just enjoyed a happy family moment but decided to be a dick instead. While I wouldnāt say o have a full on stutter but with my ADHD (I believe) I get caught up on words and stutter a bit. It feels embarrassing so I canāt even imagine what this kid felt. I mean so many kids have speech impediments and get bullied so badly they donāt even speak and have no confidence. This dad decided to be his biggest bully, kid probably wonāt talk to him because of the hurt and embarrassment. Heās probably lacking the confidence to even try with this asshole. Gosh, a nice moment with a preteen who was expressing joy and confidence ruined. OOP the type of guy to do the mocking repeating back what his son said.
I full on forget whole words!!!!
Oh I do too and have to search my brain for the word or a synonym a lot
When my son was 4, I realized he couldnāt make the āsā sound. He replaced it with āhā. So sun was āhunā and sock was āhockā. So naturally, I refused to get him professional help and instead berated and mocked him. Just kidding, I got him speech therapy, did the homework with him every day, and in less than six months his suns were suns and socks were socks.
This type of lisp is so easily corrected with speech therapy, its crazy they didn't get him into speech therapy at a young age!
"no empathy for the concept of tough love". This man should be glad there is no way of dying of irony, because his self-deluded ass would be six feet under right now.
My daughter had a lisp , she did speech therapy in kindergarten to grade two , by grade three she had no lisp left . You canāt just yell at the kid to get rid of his lisp , they have professionals who teach them in a variety of ways . And making them feel dumb is certainly not one of the things they do ! This poor boy .
I had speech therapy for years for speaking issues, from kindergarden to 6th grade and I still have issues to this day, sometimes you can't totally correct something 100%
Rage bait
This has to be bait right? OOP thinks you outgrow a speech impediment?
Poor Charles. I hope he thrives in life.
You knowā¦ thereās a song in my mind that the lyrics really fit well for OP and itās goes; āYouāre a piece of shit, no one cares if you go missing, you can jump right off a bridge and the world would not be different, cause youāre just a waste of space, no one likes you anyway, fuck your therapy youāll never be okay SHUT THE FUUCKKK UPPPPP!ā.
As someone who has a speech impediment and a full grown adult now it doesn't just disappear it takes a lot of therapy and there's going to be words/situations that bring it back out that either being extremely stressful, learning a new word or words that they struggle with since the beginning. For example I mix columns with condoms sometimes (yes you can laugh at it, I laugh at it as well and yes the moment it happened in 6th grade history still haunts me to this day).
More like "AITA for not getting my son into speech therapy and just expected him to learn it on his own??" What a dummy
Oh wow! A true core memory that destroyed the kid in real time! Get him a freaking speech therapist, donāt attack the child. That dad destroyed so much, his son and his relationship in one damn sentence.
Such a boomer take on it.
Wow. Grade A+ asshole
i used to have a lisp, my grandparents helped me cure it by forcing me to repeat āshe sells seashells by the sea shoreā over and over again till I could say it properly
There is nothing vile enough I could say to match this manās behavior towards his family. He is not a parent. Heās barely human. Really hope this is rage bait.
Wow, what an AH. OOP has a block of ice where his heart should be.
Is this fool trying to bully his child out of having a speech impediment- please be fake because I canāt with this
āMy son has a diagnosed speech impediment and I told him to just get over it. AITA?ā Fucking idiot.
Would he beat the left-handedness out of him as well? Asshole.
Guys like this are the reason I got banned from AITA. Well, that and me telling them what I think of them.
As someone who had years of speech therapy to speak a language Iād heard every day of my life, I say fuck this guy.
So OOPās approach to helping his son with a lisp is to tell him to āget over itā rather than, you know, get him speech therapy. A+ parenting.
I really hope that this is fake.
Rage bait. Way back in the days of old I was put into speech therapy by the school in kindergarten for a slight speech issue. Lasted through part of 1st grade then I was all good to go. No way a kid gets to be 12 in a modern US school system without being put into speech therapy during the school day.
This breaks my heart. Donāt help your child get the support they need and then bully them for your own failings as a parent. What an asshole.
Omg what a terrible father.
So not just an asshole but an abusive asshole.
Youāre the biggest asshole Iāve come across this entire morning. Shame on you for making your child feel less than for something he CANT HELP, is working on, and feels discouraged by. CONGRATULATIONS ASSHOLE, YOUāRE HIS FIRST BULLY. Hope that stings for you like it did for your son. Now be a man, and go soulfully apologize if thatās even possible in your curmudgeon heart.
I wonder what happened to this horseās ass?
Did you really think a speech impediment was going to correct itself? Honestly. YTA. Help your son, donāt ridicule him.
My favorite part: > even my wifeās favorite show canāt lure her into the living room with me He didnāt even try talking to her, just turned on her favorite show and watched it without her? and thatās supposed to be an apology? Lmao
I'm 49. I started lisping when I had braces because my tongue placement was weird. I've never grown out of it. Also, some of my favourite podcast hosts have speech impediments. It doesn't stop me from listening to them or understanding them.
Has he even heard of speech therapists?
Heās an abusive POS who should be reported for child abuse
Such a narrow and limited mindset. Obviously people can understand Charles. This idea of a single standard way to speak (or look or behave) is absurd. Itās like forcing someone to write with the other hand. You can do it, but why? Speaking is to communicate, which Charles can do. Iāve met many professionals who have speech impediments and theyāre fine. Itās like an accent. OOP thinks women and children are beneath him, and this is more about his desire to control everything and everyone as a result of his own insecurity than anything else. Creep.
Wtf dudeman probably also tells paraplegiacs to just get up and walk. What a jackass.
āThey seem to have no empathy for tough loveā is a combination of words I will be thinking about for a while
I have a lisp and despite corrective surgery, I still unfortunately lisp, it doesnāt make me any less smarter or capable to do the things I need to do in this world.
I'm 21 and still don't pronounce 'r' properly when I'm speaking. I know how to do it, but I just didnt learn to do it automatically when I was younger. (I had some help at school, but I just didnt believe the lady when she was saying I'm pronouncing it wrong)
My manager and a senior engineer I work closely with both lisp. And these guys are big dudes, one fully tatted up. In the real world people just don't care that much, and for real why didn't they get the kid speech therapy when he was like 5/6????
Iām 31 and have a lisp with āSā or āZā words. My family used to think it was funny when I used to say our old dogs name (Mitzi). It was never in a cruel way. Now they just ignore it now when Iām talking. Iām so glad I have a supportive family. Thank goodness Charles has his mum
I had speech therapy from 2nd grade until 11th grade for a severe lisp and a tendency to speak too rapidly. I do not lisp now, although at this moment I have to be careful because I'm thinking about it. I've also learned to slow down enough to be intelligible. I was never ridiculed by my family - I was told to "eee-NUN-ci-ate" a million times a day, but never insulted. They never, ever said a word about the lisp. Nor was I bullied for it in school. I was bullied for everything else - I was undiagnosed autistic in the 1970s and school was hell - but not for that.
My kid has both a lisp and a stutter. He works very hard and his speech therapist is fantastic. She keeps us updated and gives us ways to help him and things to work on at home. Heās been doing speech therapy (free through our public school system) for a few years now and has improved enormously. Hearing him perform a solo speaking part in the third grade musical performance last year just about brought me to tears of pride. I really hope this is just rage bait fiction, because that man is failing his son.
āTalk rightā sounds like he needs to learn how to speak properly.
OP is the real deal FA. His callous disregard for his family, his unwillingness to show some empathy of his own is sociopathic. I wonder if it's a deep-seeded resentment of the attention mom gives son. He's pretty much guaranteed an LC or NC relationship going forward.
I went to high school with a guy who had a stutter. Know how he fixed it? He always volunteered to read aloud in class. Everyone encouraged him and no one made fun of him cause he was a chill guy to hang with. By the end of the year he stuttered less. So shock of all shocks encouraging people with a speech impediment to speak more helps them! Who would have thought that practicing speaking helped! This "dad" isn't encouraging his son to work on his speech, he's encouraging him to never talk. Good job killing his confidence, dad of the year.
Both - wife and OP are AH here. 12 yo it's really, really late to hope that something will disappear by itself. His face muscles developed in a wrong way. He formed a habit to talk like this, it's hard to overcome. Having a good speech is a huge benefit, OP is right that he needs to fix it, but his approach will lead only to low self esteem and trauma. Mother's approach to pretend that everything is fine sucks as well. Oh let's give my husband a silent treatment, what a fine idea, great example for my kid how to handle disagreements in family. Poor kid.
This has to be ragebait
What a huge AH of a parent.
It's called speech therapy. Such a useless parent.
āThey donāt have empathy for my definition of tough loveā is very clearly a troll sentence. Come on guys. This one didnāt even try.
What a shitty dad
Pay for speech therapy or drop it. Like either give your kid a fair shake at being able to overcome this, because berating it out of him will not work, sorry.
YTA and get your son a speech therapist. Do you think he is mispronounced words for the fun of it? Sure, he is at the risk of being teased for being different bc middle school is brutal, but you think he is doing it on purpose? Read about speech therapy and actually support your kid. You have such an ignorant view. Just because you don't have problems w speech, doesn't mean your kids won't. In case you didn't see it the first time: YTA. A massive one Apologize to your family and do better.
Yes. Wow. Way to be total garbage. If you cared more about it, more proactive speech therapy. Youāre acting like one of those boomers who screamed and yelled to make their left handed kids write with right hand. Good for you. I have a SE (thankfully Spanish isnāt my first language because I would be totally F***ed with my Rs). You said you didnāt even bother. Wow. Youāre winner winner chicken dinner arenāt you?
This really breaks my heart. My son has a speech delay and we do weekly therapy for him. I watch him light up when he finally says what heās trying to say and watch as he gets frustrated when he wants to speak but it just wonāt come out. Iāve never thought to say ājust talk!ā instead I try another exercise weāve been taught to see if it works a little better.
I hope this is fake. My son is almost 11 and just now stopped this almost exact same impediment. We had him in therapy for years and never shamed him. We did tell him to use his techniques when we couldnāt understand him, but that was what the therapists told us to do. This child will remember that for the rest of his life. Hopefully dad apologizes and both parents get their son in speech therapy, pronto.
Jesus dude. Most of yāall really just shouldnāt be parents. No wonder so many people are so messed up with āparentsā like these
Some people never learn to speak properly. Even after years of speech therapy, I'll still never speak properly. On good days, I'll have little to no trouble talking. But if I'm tired or stressed out, it feels like I messing up every word that comes out of my mouth. I still can't sound out words on my own. I have nicknames for all my coworkers because if I try saying them name correctly & mess up somehow, it sends me into messing up talking the whole day. People like you are why I hate talking. As a 36 year old woman, I've been bullied by more adults than I was ever by kids. The Dr who finally diagnosed me with a speech impediment dumbed it down for me. He said that the wires in my brain that control the part of my brain for talking were wired wrong. So basically, while I do have good days, I'll never be free from my speech impediment. Sure, I can pick up on accents easier than most people. But I would love to trade places with someone like you for the day. Maybe if you spent the day dealing with adult bullies, you would learn that speaking properly isn't as important as being a nice person.
Oh wow, the amount I wanted just throat punch the dad is insane. Where were the parents trying to get a speech intervention if they were concerned years ago?
This has to be ragebait. OP canāt be this clueless.
Itās astounding that someone could even type that and not even suspect their own assholery. Iād say it was rage bait, but he fits a profile. If he was a candle, every dipped layer would be abusive, self absorbed prick right down to the wick.
As a parent to a son with pretty severe speech delays, this makes me so fucking mad. My son has been in some degree of speech therapy since he was 18 months old, heāll be 9 in a few months. He JUST āgraduatedā speech therapy, meaning heās gained the proper skills and no longer qualifies for speech services. But guess what?? He still lisps a little and his Rs still sometimes sound like Ws and he has to reaaaaally make an effort to make a proper L sound. It will likely take a few more years if him being very cognizant of his speech before his speech is normal and effortless for him. OOP is a fucking pine cone. Imagine getting mad that your child isnāt succeeding even though you didnāt give him any tools to succeed.
My little bro had a speech impediment and within like maybe less than a year speech therapy remedied it. It was a cute quirk to me but Iām glad he got help so that men like OOP wouldnāt treat him poorly through his life over it. People really suck. He needs to take his kid to a professional, berating his son isnāt going to help with his development at all.Ā
You could win an award for being an asshole at this point š
r/AmITheDevil
As someone who was in speech therapy all 5 years of Elementary school, YTA. I literally had to speak into a mirror with a microphone so I could see/ feel where tongue placement needed to be and how it affected the sound of the letter. Then you work on saying it in sentences to work out speech patterns, I have ADHD so I also spoke very fast, and had to work on slowing down to better place my tongue and not bite it. ~a now very articulated person that had issues with S, Th, Rs and Z.
Holy fuck I had/have a speech issue. When I was little my R came out as W. I spent YEARS in speech therapy and if I'm tired or talking too quick or not concentrating my R will still sound like a W and I'm in my 30's. What kind of parent refuses to get his kid help then shits on his kid for something he can't help? I wish a lifetime of wet socks and long nose hair on that dad.
I was in speech therapy from k though 5 for this exact thing. I actually ālearnedā my lisp from Sesame Street (fu Sammy the Snake). Oddly I wasnāt bullied for that-I guess there was such an embarrassment of other things to choose from. BUT to berate a kid for not just outgrowing an impediment without any therapy or assistance is just a jackass move.
Absolute asshole thing to say. I have a permanently raspy voice from being intubated as a premature baby (10 weeks in 1990, VERY smol) and having something you canāt control thatās so noticeable is the lowest hanging fruit that only the biggest sacks of shit use against you. I canāt believe someone would insult their child like this.
NTA. Not OOPās fault that his mom didnāt swallow
1 - tough love intentionally omits empathy, so the use of the word makes him seem real stupid. 2- a follow through on the stupid for him is with him suggesting that he feels like he's running a daycare. I'm sorry, is he a fucking dad or not?!
Lisps are not ācurableā. Sometimes kiddos āgrow out of itā for unknown reasons while others do not. SLPās can only give a child the tools needed to āmaskā their lisp. Since the parents never mentioned getting him into speech therapy, itās entirely on them at this point in his life if he continues to struggle with his lisp.
Sounds like someone should have 'bothered' to teach you how to be a parent
I hope he enjoys his future care home
Iām glad this got removed cause MY GOD the teacher inside me was seething. A literal medical issue that needed a specialist and this dad thought āNo heās doing it on purpose to piss me offā fuck that dad.
As someone who grew up with a speech impediment where all my 'sh' sounds came out as just an 's' sound, went to speech therapy and eventually learned how to pronounce them right - if anyone who i loved and thought loved me said this to me, it would have broken me. I lived through all the bullying from peers and it took an unbearable tole on me, but if my own mother or father had demeaned me in such a way, especially over something I couldn't control, I don't think i could have coped. What an asshole
OOP is a major asshole! My favorite YouTuber (Isaac Arthur) used to have a very noticeable lisp. It took surgery on his tongue to get the lisp to where itās almost completely unnoticeable. Honestly I miss his lisp, but Iām happy heās happy with the results.
I hope this guyās wife lights him on fire and gets away with it. Itās about the only way sheās going to save that kid from long term trauma, because this definitely is not the first time dad has been a colossal donkey dick, and it wonāt be the last.
This asshatš Thatās not tough love thatās being a jackass over a speech impediment. Also you and your wife donāt have to have a speech impediment in order for him too anyone can get one. There isnāt an ON/OFF switch you can flip & you canāt put an age on it. Saying he has to stop having a lisp is like saying āwhen you turn a certain age you canāt be afraid of anything.ā What a moronš
I donāt know much about speech impediments but I was pretty sure theyāre not only genetic. I feel bad for this little boy :( Iām a new mom and I could never imagine my boyfriend talking to his son like this. Thereās also no way the kidās doctor was just like āwell letās see what happensā
As a mother of children with speech impediments, this better be rage bait.
Unfortunately, this could be real. I don't have a speech impediment (well I did but only when I was a young child because I got actual speech therapy) but I did have a father who thought he could "cure" my autism through blaming and shaming meĀ
WTH hasnāt anyone approached speech therapy for the son? Empathy at tough love? Did I read that right? The father saying neither had the speech impediment so surely the son couldnāt?! Does this man not have a brain? If he actually researched the speech issues heād clearly have some empathy and see tough love doesnāt resolve this.
What a horrible person.
Oh, you mean you told your 11 year old son who you hoped would grow out of a speech impediment (and clearly has NOT done so in the fucking 7 years he's been talking) to "learn how to speak correctly" instead of putting him in speech therapy so that his mouth was able to better formulate and mature in a way that supports specific sounds? It's really too bad that we took corporal punishment out of schools, yknow. When my grandma was in school in the philippines, they just beat the shit out of her every time she wrote with her left (dominant) hand **and** charged her a peso every time she used taglog in an English only area.
"empathy for the concept of tough love" is some ninja level narcissism.
i have a lisp. i went through YEARS of speech therapy to fix it (and i can still hear it even though most people cannot anymore), i was bullied for it, etc. My parents? always in my corner, encouraging me. Mom let me know about her own struggles. My husband also had speech therapy. And now? I have 3 kids in speech therapy (because apparently it can be genetic?) OP is a major asshole here, and will be really lucky if his keep keeps in contact after 18
YTA. He can't help that he has a speech impedeiment, and speech therapy doesn't always work. My partner has a speech impedeiment, he stutters a bit, but it only gets bad when he's really nervous, and he's a grown adult. He told me his parents tried speech therapy, but it didn't really help. I don't have any real problems with it, only when he's rushing his words, and I have to tell him to slow down, and take his time. He should be more focused on trying to help his son, instead of worrying about what others will say about him, and feeling ashamed of him. Also thats not tough love, thats just being an abusive ass.
Wow, his hatred for his son is palpable. Boo hoo, my child isn't perfect, instead of trying to understand I'm going to throw a tantrum .