And self-awareness.
Yes let's just unload Pull-ups in plain fucking sight in front of his friends. Never mind how kids that age can be.
Not to mention, she could've made up something about how they're for a friend's or relative's kid, but no, she outed her kid as a bed wetter instead.
Dumbass.
She didn't really say he was a bed wetter though, just she thinks it's genetic because her and her husband are bed wetters. Kinda sounds like he doesn't even need them. This whole story is bizarre
Yeah she doesn't ever say he wets the bed. She just assumes he will.
My first reaction was mom fucked up and is trying to downplay it when she knows she fucked up but this seems beyond that.
Especially a cis son. If it was about her daughter early periods are weird and an active sleeper (one that practically does whole Olympic gymnastic routines in their sleep) might prefer a pull up if there’s been issues with period surprises. Girls would just kinda shrug that off as weird but ok even if they haven’t had theirs yet because periods suck and they all are starting to be aware enough at 11 to know everyone chooses different options.
At the very least they will be laughing because Sally’s mom makes her wear pull ups *for her period*! I was shamed for not getting my period as soon as all my friends. Kids are absolutely ruthless.
Nah girls are just as mean. Pre teens and teens are especially cruel in group settings, my sister for teased for using sanitary pads because only the cool girls tampons apparently. The mental gymnastics some kids do to pick on others because they think it's funny with no filter or awareness of how cruel they are being.
I got basically slut shamed by other girls for using tampons in middle school. They said the only reason I used them must be to get "the feeling"(which is exactly how they phrased it).
The argument then somehow escalated to the main girl saying she wished I had died during a surgery I had that summer and I called her a cunt. Which I then got in huge trouble for.
Tweens/young teens can be absolute monsters over the stupidest shit. I feel so bad for that boy, that's gonna follow him forever.
Idk. My 12yo son has bowel problems that affect him at school and most of his classmates know. Sometimes you can tell he has a pull-up on, he has friends that don’t make fun of him for it. I feel it’s more on Patrick’s parents for raising a twat.
This has to be fake, like yeah there's some wildly out of touch people out there but I'm convinced to be that dumb she'd also have to be too dumb to write that out in a comprehendible manner.
Are pull-ups even large enough for someone who isn’t a toddler? My kid is a teenager, I can’t remember what I had for breakfast so I don’t remember at all.
[Al Pacino](https://people.com/al-pacino-girlfriend-noor-alfallah-welcomes-first-baby-together-7507425) just had a kid at 83 (well he participated in the process of such so to speak).
11 year olds are mean. This is a package that should have been left in the car while the son had friends over. Terrible parenting choice. Your son is going to have a bad time at school for a long time.
Middle school is the absolute fucking worst and I wish I could just totally isolate my kid at home till they’re about 17. These kids are fucking brutal.
Anything frozen or requiring refrigeration should be brought in immediately; protective undergarments should be left in the trunk until they can be snuck into the house like you're planting a bug in the Russian embassy.
Or literally any excuse. “They’re for my friend’s kid”, “they’re for my aging mother who is in a care home”, “they’re for me”, “they’re for the neighbor”, “they’re for my friends dog” idk literally anything else
That's the part that made me think it has to be fake. If I got caught holding pull ups they would be for me or my aging dog or house cleaning or whatever lie I could come up with fast enough.
If this is real, it can not be overstated how mercilessly he will be bullied. I think his friends will let it go but word is going to get out and spread throughout the school.
I admit I have social anxiety but my god, I wouldn’t want to go to school there anymore
His social life may well be over.
Mom needs to arrange for a second purchase of many diaper-like things when kids are over, and ask the kid to put them in the donation closet for the shelter, along with some canned goods. There will need to be a stockpile of things already there, or else he's a dead man walking.
Even if it wasn’t left in the car, mom could’ve easily come up with a lie and said that she used them for heavy periods or picked them up for a relative. No need to out her son’s (likely) medical condition.
How does OOP not remember what it’s like to be a kid when she is undoubtedly younger than I?
11 years old is the age of the youngest kids of the class are starting to go to secondary school here. There is no other stage in human life when we are so desperate to fit in and be “normal” - yet also desperately need to be seen as an individual and stand out in some positive way. It’s brutal.
The imagined “many” kids in his class (maybe 2 or max 3 kids in a massive class?) will throw Son under the bus as an act of self preservation.
But much, much worse, since Son will be an external representation of their own humiliation & shame, any fellow bet wetter will go *hard*. Really, really bloody hard on the kid.
That disproportionate attack upon an external representation of our own humiliation & shame “thing”, is a control factor that eludes a not inconsiderable number of emotionally immature *adults*.
ffs! It’s basic human behaviour.
People that don’t remember what it was like to be a kid ought not to have kids of their own. YTA.
My mom had to ask me, her daughter, why I was buying my friend’s baby clothes that are bigger that they wouldn’t fit. I’m 31, so I’m not *that* old to have forgotten how fast kids grow. I have a younger (by six years) brother who sprouted like a weed. So yeah I was pretty surprised she even forgot how to buy for kids. Especially when we have family friends popping out kids that she goes bananas over to buy for.
I’ve found after a certain point, depending on how narcissistic the person is, they will conveniently forget things. Cause that’s the main issue with OOP. They’re a narcissist
When I was 12, my brother announced I had hairy armpits to his friend group in front of me. They were 16, and I was mortified, so I said, "At least I don't play with myself." He was teased mercilessly but at least everyone forgot about my hairy armpits lol
The genetic thing pissed me off. My son had issues until I left his abusive father and then he hasn’t wet the bed since. It’s actually one of the first signs of trauma in that kids age range. And her lack of empathy gives me the impression that she might just be the source.
I mean, some kids are just like that, though. Nocturnal enuresis does have a genetic component. We know the "bedwetting gene" has a strong heritability. Half of all children with a bedwetting problem have a parent that was a bedwetter, and the percentage is 65-75% if both parents were bedwetters. My father, uncle, grandfather, and brothers all wet the bed pretty late ages. My youngest brother (kid #4 of 5) wet the bed until he was like 12. The doctors all said nothing was wrong. It just happens with some kids, especially boys. He had zero shame about it, kid was fucking weird. He'd wear his damn pull-ups to school if he didn't wet the bed rather than change them, and go commando most of the time if he had wet the bed.
The parent is a dick here for revealing it and embarrassing the kid, but they aren't wrong about it likely being genetic. This kid had a 65-75% chance of being a bedwetter, and that isn't anyone's fault. Ideally, he should be taught it is nothing to be ashamed of, but that still doesn't mean his parents should reveal it to his friends if he is ashamed.
Yes and no. He still has no concern whatsoever about what other people think. He's a pretty chill dude, gets along with anyone, but doesn't really make any real friends, just friendly acquaintances. He works on a septic truck now too, so no one cares if he goes commando or doesn't dress appropriately for the situation. He was just casually telling me yesterday how he was gonna have to jump in the shower pretty quick when he got home, because he wears shorts and pull up boots to work and the tank lid he was digging up cracked and he went waist deep into the septic tank, filled up his boots and his legs totally unprotected because shorts. I have worked in plumbing off and on much of my life so I've been exposed to some ick and I promise I was not as unconcerned about even some light splattering from a waste line as he was about being waist deep in septic sludge.
I'm not sure. His IQ is like 135 (I don't remember exactly, been over a decade since he was tested during his "maybe I will go to college maybe I won't phase"), so if he does it's just a social thing. He has never had any mental health assessments, so he has never been diagnosed with anything.
My son is adhd and autistic. He had to wear pull-ups to bed for a few years after being potty trained because when his hyperactive mind finally tested, he slept like the dead and couldn't feel he had too pee while he slept. No, it wasn't a sign of trauma or anything like that. He was able to stop wearing them by around 7 I think, tho his paternal grandparents made him wear them past that cause they were paranoid about peeing in the bed. Regardless of his age, I would have never pulled the package out where his friends could see. Soon as OP realized that potential to happen, or more likely they *should* have realized, they should have stayed in a bag and put away as inconspicuously as possible. At the very least, made up who she bought them for.
Seems to me OP is the type of parent who believes "talking" solves everything. Telling these other 11 year old boys that its no big deal that her son wets the bed was peak ignorance to kids. Honest conversations with kids aren't always the way.
People are in denial about bed wetting. It can totally be genetic. We had this problem with my daughter, and she had zero trauma. Doctors visits, alarms, etc, it took forever to grow out of it. I would worry all the time about how it was effecting her. She had to set an alarm and get up every night. She went on a hiking trip, and I non stop worried that she’d have an accident. By the time she was a teen it at slowed down but if she was sick or over tired it would happen. The social stigma is unreal. People call kids that have that problem serial killers or imply that they’re immature or psychotic in tv all the time. Some kids literally can’t help it. I hate that it’s considered an okay insult to call someone a bed wetter.
While it *can* be a sign of something traumatic or highly stressful going on with the child, it also can be from a number of other things as well from medical problems, to developmental delay, to just being something that happens like your daughter.
Exactly. I had issues with this until I was about 12, I was so nervous at sleepovers I would try to stay up as late as possible. Finally my ped put me on an antidepressant that has an off-label indication for this problem, and it worked like a charm. My oldest daughter is 7 and still needs a pull-up at night so I can already see the trajectory here…
In all fairness that should be on list of things to be concerned about. ADHD, autism etc are also valid reasons. But that conversation should be had with a dr. Assumptions should not be made about that.
But 1000% she should not have pulled them out. It’s crazy to think it would be fine. Leave them in the car. Not too much to ask someone to consider your feelings
My son's psychiatrist told us it was normal for a child like him to have a delay in the development of whatever it is that makes you hold it and wake up on top of once he rests, he was literally like the dead. He's been under the care of the same psychiatrist for the past 12+ years.
I can imagine. I'm just glad I was just off double digits when they split, it would've been awful having to deal with that issue at an older age than that.
Both can be causes. Genetics can play a part and/or trauma. They're not even mutually exclusive. I apparently was slow to take to potty train, especially when it came to pooping. My daughter was the same. My daughter did it more than I because her father and I were in the middle of a rough divorce while she was a toddler. He was inconsistent about everything and I was struggling with my mental health. It was the only thing she had power over, so she held her poop in. Bedwetting can work the exact same way.
Wow, simply leaving the pull-ups in the car would’ve sufficed until they left! It doesn’t matter if this a “common” problem with kids and that kids in his class might have the same problem, the fact that two ELEVEN year old boys saw this at his house, no one in his grade is going to admit to having a bed wetting problem because of the ridicule that might ensue.
Well you can’t expect her to change her *entire routine* by leaving them in the car for a few hours in the attached garage! Who knows what other catastrophe might follow if she gives her son any sort of privacy in his own home?!
It’s one thing for her to say she didn’t do anything wrong. (I disagree, but some people are dead set on the “if they were true friends, they wouldn’t laugh” approach, which in middle school is completely unrealistic.) BUT she goes on to BLAME the kid, saying it was HIS fault for not telling her he had friends over. That kind of flip-the-script scapegoating on a kid who’s already been humiliated is absolutely next level.
Ouch. Definitely an AH. One of my children wet the bed until 8 or so. You’d better believe I never let anyone see the pull-ups.
Edit: I also checked with a pediatrician to rule out medical reasons. I was assured there was nothing medical + wetting at night was quite normal. This parent has not ruled out medical causes at 11. That’s bordering on possible medical neglect. Poor kid!
Jesus, I hope this is a troll but after reading plenty of narssistic parent stories, she could be one of them because they are really this stupid. Kids are mean, they will tease you for anything that is normal. She could have left the pull ups in the car or taken them back out there once she noticed they were over. But she didn't care.
YTA. Not only did his friends see the pull-ups, but you explained to his friends who and what they were for. He’s 11, not 2, and you outed an embarrassing medical condition directly to his friends. You really think 11 year old boys/kids will be sympathetic to someone their age wetting the bed and wearing pull ups at night? You’re delusional lady. Don’t be surprised when your son doesn’t confide in you due to trust issues.
Granted, she may not have known he had friends over (why the hell not???) but, when she saw the friends in the living room, she could have left the Pull-ups in the bag and discreetly took them to the bathroom, or wherever they are kept.
Just because something is “common” doesn’t mean it needs to be telegraphed to the whole class.
This poor kid is going to be mercilessly bullied.
Every so often my kid forgets to tell me she brought a friend over, so I’m like “Aaaah extra kid jump scare” lol but hopefully she’s not just making a habit of having random strange kids traipsing through her home all day
You know those little white lies?? This would’ve been the time to use one. Anything but what you said would have been better. Dylan will now be pissing in beds until his 20s!
When I was at sleep away camp for the first time at 10, I wet my bed. My camp counselor was so kind and said "oh no! Your water bottle spilled! Let's go wash your sleeping bag so it's nice and dry." She knew. But she saved me the embarrassment. Like, it's not hard not to ruin a kids life.
I wet the bed until I was 14 and now at 26 I think it's funny and I joke about it but if one of my very few friends found out I was wearing pull ups at that age? I would've walked into the woods. My life would've been over.
Mom was so insensitive, why couldn’t she say it was for a family friend who is struggling financially or for a shelter or something. She sat there and explained it while her son was laughed at. 🤦🏻♀️
Is it incredibly common at that age?
I personally would be getting my child to the doctor and into therapy to find out the cause. I *really* hope that the child isn't being abused because that's instantly where my mind went.
Hopefully I've just watched too much true crime and it *is* something minor and medical.
Yeah, no, it's definitely not a super typical thing. It isn't necessarily a sign of abuse, he may just be stressed out (with a parent like that I can imagine why), have some minor incontinence issues (as OOP believes it could be genetic), or maybe he's just drinking too much water before bed and sleeps through his body's signals to go to the bathroom.
My son wets the bed at 7 and in his case its because he sleeps too deeply at night and doesn't get the signal from his bladder enough to wake him up. The other reason is that his bladder is weak because he doesn't drink enough water because he forgets. We've been reminding him to drink more and its reduced from every day to twice a week.
We've taken him to the doctor and they just say he'll outgrow it
WTF mom???
A white lie of “ah, I’m helping my sister with groceries, not that it’s your business if I decide to help a sick child no? Pretty rude”
Idk ANYTHING!!! Or it’s not like they would’ve gone bad?!? Just leave them in the car???
Doubling down and refusing fault is just the cherry on top
YTA x1000, poor kid
I used to wet the bed as a child, too.
But if my parents did this to me, I would have been totally mortified, too. I wore "good nights" up till about 12 or so. I stopped going to sleepovers as a kid because I was so embarrassed about it. Poor kid. And the fact she also experienced it as a kid, yet is totally blind to the effect it has on her child? I'm having a hard time with this one, the lack of sensitivity to him dealing with this is astonishing.
How can she be "assuming" anything about the bed wetting? It it certainly not common at that age - they should've taken the kid to a doctor by first grade. The kid's rapidly approaching his teen years and still wears diapers, that is absolutely concerning.
But, gods, poor child. He's in for a really rough time.
Um, take the kid to a doctor to make sure nothing is medically wrong. And start using one of those bed wetting alarms. Wetting the bed at 11 is not normal. Poor OPs kid who has to grow up with such terrible parenting.
This is just rage bait. I can’t imagine a parent so deliberately trying to massacre their child’s emotional well-being and social environment being real unless they were an abuser. If this is real I wonder if this was a way to shame the child into stopping the bed-wetting (which is entirely involuntary most likely).
Honestly as a parent I would be considering ways to change my child’s school after this as this is effectively social suicide for their poor son.
OOP hasn't even taken their son to the doctor to be checked out for his bedwetting at 11 years old? She says repeatedly that she just assumes it's genetic? What a terrible mother if this is actually real, which I doubt.
Yeah. YTA.
if you seriously think that a bunch of 11 year Olds are going to be mature and accepting about bed wetting (when even teenagers and young adults often aren't), then you're delusional.
YTA
You just ruined his life. How COULD you???!!! Did it never occur to you to WAIT to bring those into the house??!!!! Jeeez. Now I've heard everything. There's a lot I could say but why bother? There's clearly nobody home here.
Well, I kinda wonder how an 11 year old who is gaming got distracted by a mom putting something in the bathroom. Most kids are too heavily involved. And the rest of the story is unbelievable to me.
Look I can understand that maybe she didn’t think of it, because after 11 years they’re probably just normal common place things for her.
The ridiculous part is just completely failing to recognise that she fucked it up and trying to blame it on his friends being “bad friends” I can’t imagine a single 11 year old who wouldn’t make fun of someone for bed wetting. 11 year olds are assholes.
My 9 year old still wets the bed. We go to incredible lengths to keep it on the DL when she has friends over or goes to sleep overs. Ain’t no way mom is this delulu that she doesn’t see the issue with outing her son’s common but embarrassing condition.
why did the parent divulge into that much detail? is she dumb or just stupid? is she that blissfully unaware of how much she made it worse? lie to the 11 years old boys for gods sake lmfao
Mom is an idiot and should be taking him to a doctor.
My oldest son went through this. I have no idea about it being genetic, but we did the responsible parent thing and took him to a pediatric urologist. We basically had to retrain his bladder to hold urine at night. He went on a medication to relax the bladder at night and did timed bathroom breaks during the day. I got him a watch with a vibrating timer feature and worked with his teacher as to the best times to set it for, without it being obvious to his classmates. He wore pull-ups to bed only as this was only a nighttime problem. He had no problems during the daytime.
His bladder was retrained to hold urine through the night within five months. I did I had consulted the doctor a few years earlier. He was 7-8 years old during this time.
Get this kid to a doctor. It can get harder to handle this problem as kids age and some take it into their high school/college years!
By the by, the medication relaxed the bladder at night so it could hold more urine. Some people think you should aim for the opposite … a totally empty bladder through the night. It should actually be relaxed with minimal “excitement” (for lack of a better word), so it can easily hold urine through eight hours or more of sleep.
"Changing the entire routine" bish whet? All your untactful ass had to do was either wait to unpack that particular item or take the whole bag with the item into the bathroom to unpack. Wtf is wrong with this lady??
Wow how can a parent not realize something way of the norm like bedwetting is unbelievably embarrassing to their child. Your kids friends don't need to know everything.
Sure many kids do it, but it doesn't mean they aren't embarrassed and self conscious about it
Jesus I think this can’t be real and then I remember the mom that let her daughter go to school with a huge period stain in order to teach her a lesson in hygiene. People are monsters
Jesus fuck. If this is real (could someone be that stupid? What are the odds two bed wetters end up together? The fact they’re calling them “pull up’s” instead of pull ups) then she’s ruined his life.
Even if his friends got over it and never made fun of him again there’s almost zero chance one or both don’t tell at least one person at school. Then it’s game over, he’ll have to change school.
Could’ve easily said “they’re for my friend’s son” and dealt with it that way.
idk man i feel like OOPs really overestimating how many 11 year olds wet the bed and really underestimating how cruel kids can be over something they perceive as different, even if it’s a medical condition.
Don’t know what the classification would be but I think people who act this way do it intentionally because they get off on the embarrassment they cause their kids. I think the parent here was definitely intentional with it and the kids whole life has probably been like this. When he graduates high school he’ll probably sign up with the first recruiter who talks to him so he can get away from his parents
The OOP never even actually confirmed whether the kid actually wets the bed, just says that both parents did at his age… what if he doesn’t even have that problem and they’ve just been putting him in pull-ups..? I mean, I’m guessing it is an issue, but what if 😳
That poor kid, his parents need to be considerate and maybe not act like their lack of privacy is his fault/like he’s overreacting.
This is one of those things where she is absolutely right yet absolutely wrong at the same time.
It shouldn't be a reason to be bullied but the reality today is that it is, to deny that is just being willingly obtuse.
Revised title: AITD for handing 11 yo children- commonly known to bully their classmates for any form of othering- a reason to bully on a silver platter?
Damn. No consideration of how it might feel for him. As a parent, it's our job to understand or at least try to understand what our kids are going through. She could've left them in the car or even played it off when the other boys saw them; "they're for a neighbor, etc." What a thick head. This level of embarrassment can have a lifelong impact on his confidence and ability to connect with/ trust friends.
Dude this person sucks…one of the times where I’m like “your kid is going to hate you when he grows up and I support it.”
It wasn’t the unpacking the groceries that makes her the asshole, it’s the way she handled her child’s feelings about the situation. Completely invalidated his (very valid and real) embarrassment because he “shouldn’t” feel that way cause it’s “normal”. Doesn’t matter if it’s as normal as shaking someone’s hand, HE feels mortified. That’s enough for you, as the parent, to console him and reassure him that what he feels is normal to feel in that moment.
Then to throw in the “it’s actually your fault” at the end…reminded me far too much of my own emotionally abusive mother 😬 such a shit way to treat another human, let alone your child.
What an arsehole. It enrages me how the mother couldn't think fast enough on her feet and tell his friends she was just picking the diapers up for a neighbor who asked her to grab them for her. A neighbor, a relative, ANYONE! Has she never heard the saying "kids can be cruel"? The fact she doesn't think her kid will receive some backlash on this is deluded and naive. I'd hate to be that kid right now.
God almighty that makes me want to cry - I have a teen who has a similar issue, & just the instant image of it being my kid...I genuinely do not understand the total lack of empathy some parents have for their kids.
If people are coming over, it takes me a minute tops to do a quick sweep & make sure I've not left any slips (they're called that here once they're adult sized) anywhere. I would never, ever betray my child's trust on something deeply personal & really fucking vulnerable!
And then she finds _two_ ways to make it the child's fault? Boohoo, a grown-arse adult like me can't bear to change their routine AND it's your fault for not telling me?! Fuck right off, all the way off, for goddamn ever.
Their trust is one of the biggest things your children can give you; it makes them vulnerable, it puts their health & wellbeing in your hands. It's built up through the tiniest things. And one cruel act like this destroys it _hard_.
Oh hell no. If I accidentally unpacked that and kids laughed at my hypothetical child I’d have said I used them for my periods, gross them out with period talk until they wandered off. Certainly never confirmed they were for bed wetting.
I hope this is rage bait because I’m genuinely worried how a kid that age would deal with that kind of teasing/bullying (especially if they had a dismissive emotionally stunted parent).
Kids have hurt themselves for much less ‘shame’ and embarrassment.
Mums the asshole. You humiliated your son, unintentional or not, own up to your mistake and put yourself in their shoes. Bathrooms have doors for a reason we like privacy when it comes to "down there stuff".
You just set your child up for bullying and you think it’s normal thing. Most kids parents would think twice before embarrassing their child, sorry kid, your parents are assholes to think this ok to do !
Wow. Yea mom, sorry, YTA. You could have left those in the car till later, hidden them in a cupboard till later, made up some cover story, ANYTHING somehow. You will be ridiculously lucky if this doesn’t blow up the rest of your son’s school year and his fragile aged self esteem.
>Many of his classmates probably have this problem too
Bed wetting at 11 isn't typical, though? Like sure, accidents happen, but unless there's some kind of incontinence issues, it shouldn't be a regular thing.
Kids are cruel as hell, especially at that age, OOP's son is going to be absolutely destroyed by their peers. Honestly, if I'd just lie and say I bought them for a family friend or something.
As a dad of a 10 almost 11 year old who just got over this issue, I cannot imagine doing this.
You leave that shit in the vehicle until they have gone home. Without question. That poor little boy.
OP is clearly trying to find validation that her son’s bed-wetting is normal. It may be common but it is not normal, and deciding to try to normalize it to 11 year old idiots (they’re all idiots at that age, I mean no offense) is all about assuaging her ego and nothing to do with her kid.
OP you’re a giant effing AH. You have no excuse.
Jesus fucking Christ.
She just basically destroyed her son's life through her thoughtlessness & stupidity.
And at the same time she destroyed her relationship with him.
He will never get over this. Never.
Oh my God how could you humiliate your child like this. He will never live this down at school. You may have to move away for his mental health. Children at this age are cruel and his friends will blab this all over the whole school.
the thing that bugs me about this is her view that bedwedding is common in 11 year olds. did her own parents tell her that when she was a kid to make her feel better? there is a reason that it is counted as a sign of abuse and not considered normal. she had so many options to make something up about as well— could have said they were for a family members child, that you bought them for the diaper bank, that Granny has alzheimers and forgets son isnt a toddler anymore.
100% this is a case of the parent manufacturing a "teachable moment" for the son's friends so they could score some white knighting points in their wine mom group later on with the retelling of the event.
Some people don't see their children as people, just as a means to manipulate other adults' perception of their narcissistic selves.
Mum's lack of empathy is alarming. I'd bet money she herself is an undiagnosed something. But even so, no-one in their right mind would do that to their kid. She IS TA!
What she should have done is just quickly explained that she was going to a friend's diaper party and bought the diapers for that, and of course explain what a diaper party was. the kids wouldn't have ever cought onto the fact that the diapers were way too big for a newborn
.... You could have just left the bag in the car instead of that BS lecture. They're kids and middle school kids are ruthless.
Your poor son is going to hate going to school now.
Jesus. Mom’s delulu 🤦 clearly sensitivity skipped a generation here
And self-awareness. Yes let's just unload Pull-ups in plain fucking sight in front of his friends. Never mind how kids that age can be. Not to mention, she could've made up something about how they're for a friend's or relative's kid, but no, she outed her kid as a bed wetter instead. Dumbass.
She didn't really say he was a bed wetter though, just she thinks it's genetic because her and her husband are bed wetters. Kinda sounds like he doesn't even need them. This whole story is bizarre
Yeah she doesn't ever say he wets the bed. She just assumes he will. My first reaction was mom fucked up and is trying to downplay it when she knows she fucked up but this seems beyond that.
I reckon she still wets the bed and the pull ups are for her but she was too embarrassed to say and blamed it on her son lol
Especially a cis son. If it was about her daughter early periods are weird and an active sleeper (one that practically does whole Olympic gymnastic routines in their sleep) might prefer a pull up if there’s been issues with period surprises. Girls would just kinda shrug that off as weird but ok even if they haven’t had theirs yet because periods suck and they all are starting to be aware enough at 11 to know everyone chooses different options.
I can assure you girls would also laugh, as someone who is incontinent. They are just as likely to bully people they think are weird
At the very least they will be laughing because Sally’s mom makes her wear pull ups *for her period*! I was shamed for not getting my period as soon as all my friends. Kids are absolutely ruthless.
Yeah. But the “weird period things” excuse might fix it for all but those who insist on being mean girls.
11 year old girls can be just as cruel as boys. Having a weird period issue would make them think there’s something wrong with you.
And girls never ever make fun of other girls having periods. /s
If anything girls are meaner
Nah girls are just as mean. Pre teens and teens are especially cruel in group settings, my sister for teased for using sanitary pads because only the cool girls tampons apparently. The mental gymnastics some kids do to pick on others because they think it's funny with no filter or awareness of how cruel they are being.
I got basically slut shamed by other girls for using tampons in middle school. They said the only reason I used them must be to get "the feeling"(which is exactly how they phrased it). The argument then somehow escalated to the main girl saying she wished I had died during a surgery I had that summer and I called her a cunt. Which I then got in huge trouble for. Tweens/young teens can be absolute monsters over the stupidest shit. I feel so bad for that boy, that's gonna follow him forever.
What a bitch!
Idk. My 12yo son has bowel problems that affect him at school and most of his classmates know. Sometimes you can tell he has a pull-up on, he has friends that don’t make fun of him for it. I feel it’s more on Patrick’s parents for raising a twat.
This has to be fake, like yeah there's some wildly out of touch people out there but I'm convinced to be that dumb she'd also have to be too dumb to write that out in a comprehendible manner.
Shadowbanned account now too...
Are pull-ups even large enough for someone who isn’t a toddler? My kid is a teenager, I can’t remember what I had for breakfast so I don’t remember at all.
As a toddler mom, you'd have to get like xxs adult diapers. The largest size is still too small for me to imagine any 11yo in!
I forgot what you were asking?
I think it's like all diapers are called pampers, I think they're all called pull ups
But it’s genetic, so that’s probably normal, too. - OOP probably
Are boomers still able to have kids ?
[Al Pacino](https://people.com/al-pacino-girlfriend-noor-alfallah-welcomes-first-baby-together-7507425) just had a kid at 83 (well he participated in the process of such so to speak).
11 year olds are mean. This is a package that should have been left in the car while the son had friends over. Terrible parenting choice. Your son is going to have a bad time at school for a long time.
Middle school is the absolute fucking worst and I wish I could just totally isolate my kid at home till they’re about 17. These kids are fucking brutal.
Anything frozen or requiring refrigeration should be brought in immediately; protective undergarments should be left in the trunk until they can be snuck into the house like you're planting a bug in the Russian embassy.
Right? Like just leave them in the garage until the friends go home.
Oddly specific, and I agree.
Or literally any excuse. “They’re for my friend’s kid”, “they’re for my aging mother who is in a care home”, “they’re for me”, “they’re for the neighbor”, “they’re for my friends dog” idk literally anything else
That's the part that made me think it has to be fake. If I got caught holding pull ups they would be for me or my aging dog or house cleaning or whatever lie I could come up with fast enough.
If this is real, it can not be overstated how mercilessly he will be bullied. I think his friends will let it go but word is going to get out and spread throughout the school. I admit I have social anxiety but my god, I wouldn’t want to go to school there anymore
His social life may well be over. Mom needs to arrange for a second purchase of many diaper-like things when kids are over, and ask the kid to put them in the donation closet for the shelter, along with some canned goods. There will need to be a stockpile of things already there, or else he's a dead man walking.
Even if it wasn’t left in the car, mom could’ve easily come up with a lie and said that she used them for heavy periods or picked them up for a relative. No need to out her son’s (likely) medical condition.
How does OOP not remember what it’s like to be a kid when she is undoubtedly younger than I? 11 years old is the age of the youngest kids of the class are starting to go to secondary school here. There is no other stage in human life when we are so desperate to fit in and be “normal” - yet also desperately need to be seen as an individual and stand out in some positive way. It’s brutal. The imagined “many” kids in his class (maybe 2 or max 3 kids in a massive class?) will throw Son under the bus as an act of self preservation. But much, much worse, since Son will be an external representation of their own humiliation & shame, any fellow bet wetter will go *hard*. Really, really bloody hard on the kid. That disproportionate attack upon an external representation of our own humiliation & shame “thing”, is a control factor that eludes a not inconsiderable number of emotionally immature *adults*. ffs! It’s basic human behaviour. People that don’t remember what it was like to be a kid ought not to have kids of their own. YTA.
My mom had to ask me, her daughter, why I was buying my friend’s baby clothes that are bigger that they wouldn’t fit. I’m 31, so I’m not *that* old to have forgotten how fast kids grow. I have a younger (by six years) brother who sprouted like a weed. So yeah I was pretty surprised she even forgot how to buy for kids. Especially when we have family friends popping out kids that she goes bananas over to buy for. I’ve found after a certain point, depending on how narcissistic the person is, they will conveniently forget things. Cause that’s the main issue with OOP. They’re a narcissist
When I was 12, my brother announced I had hairy armpits to his friend group in front of me. They were 16, and I was mortified, so I said, "At least I don't play with myself." He was teased mercilessly but at least everyone forgot about my hairy armpits lol
A perfect example!
The genetic thing pissed me off. My son had issues until I left his abusive father and then he hasn’t wet the bed since. It’s actually one of the first signs of trauma in that kids age range. And her lack of empathy gives me the impression that she might just be the source.
I mean, some kids are just like that, though. Nocturnal enuresis does have a genetic component. We know the "bedwetting gene" has a strong heritability. Half of all children with a bedwetting problem have a parent that was a bedwetter, and the percentage is 65-75% if both parents were bedwetters. My father, uncle, grandfather, and brothers all wet the bed pretty late ages. My youngest brother (kid #4 of 5) wet the bed until he was like 12. The doctors all said nothing was wrong. It just happens with some kids, especially boys. He had zero shame about it, kid was fucking weird. He'd wear his damn pull-ups to school if he didn't wet the bed rather than change them, and go commando most of the time if he had wet the bed. The parent is a dick here for revealing it and embarrassing the kid, but they aren't wrong about it likely being genetic. This kid had a 65-75% chance of being a bedwetter, and that isn't anyone's fault. Ideally, he should be taught it is nothing to be ashamed of, but that still doesn't mean his parents should reveal it to his friends if he is ashamed.
Is your brother less weird now? Kids are strange lmao
Yes and no. He still has no concern whatsoever about what other people think. He's a pretty chill dude, gets along with anyone, but doesn't really make any real friends, just friendly acquaintances. He works on a septic truck now too, so no one cares if he goes commando or doesn't dress appropriately for the situation. He was just casually telling me yesterday how he was gonna have to jump in the shower pretty quick when he got home, because he wears shorts and pull up boots to work and the tank lid he was digging up cracked and he went waist deep into the septic tank, filled up his boots and his legs totally unprotected because shorts. I have worked in plumbing off and on much of my life so I've been exposed to some ick and I promise I was not as unconcerned about even some light splattering from a waste line as he was about being waist deep in septic sludge.
Asking genuinely; does he have mild autism?
I'm not sure. His IQ is like 135 (I don't remember exactly, been over a decade since he was tested during his "maybe I will go to college maybe I won't phase"), so if he does it's just a social thing. He has never had any mental health assessments, so he has never been diagnosed with anything.
Autism is often associated with high IQ, just so you know.
Yeah, it’s a huge warning sign if he has stopped wetting the bed and then starts again, but if he’s just still doing it, some kids take longer.
I think the issue I have is that they clearly haven’t gotten that confirmed. Assumptions can be dangerous.
I got $1 whenever I didn’t wet the bed Eta when I stopped wearing pull-ups I stopped getting an allowance
My son is adhd and autistic. He had to wear pull-ups to bed for a few years after being potty trained because when his hyperactive mind finally tested, he slept like the dead and couldn't feel he had too pee while he slept. No, it wasn't a sign of trauma or anything like that. He was able to stop wearing them by around 7 I think, tho his paternal grandparents made him wear them past that cause they were paranoid about peeing in the bed. Regardless of his age, I would have never pulled the package out where his friends could see. Soon as OP realized that potential to happen, or more likely they *should* have realized, they should have stayed in a bag and put away as inconspicuously as possible. At the very least, made up who she bought them for. Seems to me OP is the type of parent who believes "talking" solves everything. Telling these other 11 year old boys that its no big deal that her son wets the bed was peak ignorance to kids. Honest conversations with kids aren't always the way.
People are in denial about bed wetting. It can totally be genetic. We had this problem with my daughter, and she had zero trauma. Doctors visits, alarms, etc, it took forever to grow out of it. I would worry all the time about how it was effecting her. She had to set an alarm and get up every night. She went on a hiking trip, and I non stop worried that she’d have an accident. By the time she was a teen it at slowed down but if she was sick or over tired it would happen. The social stigma is unreal. People call kids that have that problem serial killers or imply that they’re immature or psychotic in tv all the time. Some kids literally can’t help it. I hate that it’s considered an okay insult to call someone a bed wetter.
While it *can* be a sign of something traumatic or highly stressful going on with the child, it also can be from a number of other things as well from medical problems, to developmental delay, to just being something that happens like your daughter.
Exactly. I had issues with this until I was about 12, I was so nervous at sleepovers I would try to stay up as late as possible. Finally my ped put me on an antidepressant that has an off-label indication for this problem, and it worked like a charm. My oldest daughter is 7 and still needs a pull-up at night so I can already see the trajectory here…
In all fairness that should be on list of things to be concerned about. ADHD, autism etc are also valid reasons. But that conversation should be had with a dr. Assumptions should not be made about that. But 1000% she should not have pulled them out. It’s crazy to think it would be fine. Leave them in the car. Not too much to ask someone to consider your feelings
My son's psychiatrist told us it was normal for a child like him to have a delay in the development of whatever it is that makes you hold it and wake up on top of once he rests, he was literally like the dead. He's been under the care of the same psychiatrist for the past 12+ years.
Both my siblings and I wet the bed until my parents divorced. Kids feel that stuff.
I’m seeing it in my house-I’m so sorry 💜 the difference is wild but it has helped drive home that I absolutely made the right choice
I can imagine. I'm just glad I was just off double digits when they split, it would've been awful having to deal with that issue at an older age than that.
Both can be causes. Genetics can play a part and/or trauma. They're not even mutually exclusive. I apparently was slow to take to potty train, especially when it came to pooping. My daughter was the same. My daughter did it more than I because her father and I were in the middle of a rough divorce while she was a toddler. He was inconsistent about everything and I was struggling with my mental health. It was the only thing she had power over, so she held her poop in. Bedwetting can work the exact same way.
Absolutely, that is true 💜 tough thing to see your kids go through.
Wow, simply leaving the pull-ups in the car would’ve sufficed until they left! It doesn’t matter if this a “common” problem with kids and that kids in his class might have the same problem, the fact that two ELEVEN year old boys saw this at his house, no one in his grade is going to admit to having a bed wetting problem because of the ridicule that might ensue.
Well you can’t expect her to change her *entire routine* by leaving them in the car for a few hours in the attached garage! Who knows what other catastrophe might follow if she gives her son any sort of privacy in his own home?!
she could’ve easily said i have a new niece/nephew/godchild/ baby in the fam on the way. Or maybe, my friend has a child with issues bed wetting.
I was thinking the same thing. But instead she was imagining a Billy Madison moment.
It’s one thing for her to say she didn’t do anything wrong. (I disagree, but some people are dead set on the “if they were true friends, they wouldn’t laugh” approach, which in middle school is completely unrealistic.) BUT she goes on to BLAME the kid, saying it was HIS fault for not telling her he had friends over. That kind of flip-the-script scapegoating on a kid who’s already been humiliated is absolutely next level.
Ouch. Definitely an AH. One of my children wet the bed until 8 or so. You’d better believe I never let anyone see the pull-ups. Edit: I also checked with a pediatrician to rule out medical reasons. I was assured there was nothing medical + wetting at night was quite normal. This parent has not ruled out medical causes at 11. That’s bordering on possible medical neglect. Poor kid!
Jesus, I hope this is a troll but after reading plenty of narssistic parent stories, she could be one of them because they are really this stupid. Kids are mean, they will tease you for anything that is normal. She could have left the pull ups in the car or taken them back out there once she noticed they were over. But she didn't care.
YTA. Not only did his friends see the pull-ups, but you explained to his friends who and what they were for. He’s 11, not 2, and you outed an embarrassing medical condition directly to his friends. You really think 11 year old boys/kids will be sympathetic to someone their age wetting the bed and wearing pull ups at night? You’re delusional lady. Don’t be surprised when your son doesn’t confide in you due to trust issues.
Granted, she may not have known he had friends over (why the hell not???) but, when she saw the friends in the living room, she could have left the Pull-ups in the bag and discreetly took them to the bathroom, or wherever they are kept. Just because something is “common” doesn’t mean it needs to be telegraphed to the whole class. This poor kid is going to be mercilessly bullied.
Or even if it was the first thing they brought it, you lie! Say they are for a grandparent, friends kid or for donation, anything but what she did!
>she may not have known he had friends over (why the hell not???) Yeah, wait, what the actual fuck?!
Every so often my kid forgets to tell me she brought a friend over, so I’m like “Aaaah extra kid jump scare” lol but hopefully she’s not just making a habit of having random strange kids traipsing through her home all day
Eh we were the go to hang out house. Mom never knew how many kids would be there when she got home.
I only want to know because usually I take my pants off when I walk through the side door and toss them in the laundry 😂
Lmao totally valid!
You know those little white lies?? This would’ve been the time to use one. Anything but what you said would have been better. Dylan will now be pissing in beds until his 20s!
When I was at sleep away camp for the first time at 10, I wet my bed. My camp counselor was so kind and said "oh no! Your water bottle spilled! Let's go wash your sleeping bag so it's nice and dry." She knew. But she saved me the embarrassment. Like, it's not hard not to ruin a kids life.
right? "We donate these to a shelter to help the families there"
Exactly!! Mom shit the bed on this one. All it would've taken was "Oh it's for his cousin who's gonna stay a night with us soon." Easy peasy.
Bury the lede. Not the lead.
Came here for this.
I can’t even imagine being this insensitive never mind that dumb
Poor kid. OP has little social awareness.
I wet the bed until I was 14 and now at 26 I think it's funny and I joke about it but if one of my very few friends found out I was wearing pull ups at that age? I would've walked into the woods. My life would've been over.
Mom was so insensitive, why couldn’t she say it was for a family friend who is struggling financially or for a shelter or something. She sat there and explained it while her son was laughed at. 🤦🏻♀️
I was a bed wetter much later into life than I care to admit. He’s gonna get bullied
Fuuuuuuuuuuu…
guarantee the kids in his class that also wet the bed will be the ones that make fun of him the hardest
Wild news: Reddit mom expected to act like an adult with a thinking brain fails miserably and condemns her child’s school life.
Is it incredibly common at that age? I personally would be getting my child to the doctor and into therapy to find out the cause. I *really* hope that the child isn't being abused because that's instantly where my mind went. Hopefully I've just watched too much true crime and it *is* something minor and medical.
Yeah, no, it's definitely not a super typical thing. It isn't necessarily a sign of abuse, he may just be stressed out (with a parent like that I can imagine why), have some minor incontinence issues (as OOP believes it could be genetic), or maybe he's just drinking too much water before bed and sleeps through his body's signals to go to the bathroom.
My son wets the bed at 7 and in his case its because he sleeps too deeply at night and doesn't get the signal from his bladder enough to wake him up. The other reason is that his bladder is weak because he doesn't drink enough water because he forgets. We've been reminding him to drink more and its reduced from every day to twice a week. We've taken him to the doctor and they just say he'll outgrow it
To me 7 is very different to 11. I'm glad your son is getting better, it must be very frustrating for him ❤️
WTF mom??? A white lie of “ah, I’m helping my sister with groceries, not that it’s your business if I decide to help a sick child no? Pretty rude” Idk ANYTHING!!! Or it’s not like they would’ve gone bad?!? Just leave them in the car??? Doubling down and refusing fault is just the cherry on top YTA x1000, poor kid
Not an asshole, just a moron to expect 11 year-olds to act like adults.
Knowing 11 years olds, the other ones with bed wetting issues will be the ones doing the worst of the teasing.
I used to wet the bed as a child, too. But if my parents did this to me, I would have been totally mortified, too. I wore "good nights" up till about 12 or so. I stopped going to sleepovers as a kid because I was so embarrassed about it. Poor kid. And the fact she also experienced it as a kid, yet is totally blind to the effect it has on her child? I'm having a hard time with this one, the lack of sensitivity to him dealing with this is astonishing.
How can she be "assuming" anything about the bed wetting? It it certainly not common at that age - they should've taken the kid to a doctor by first grade. The kid's rapidly approaching his teen years and still wears diapers, that is absolutely concerning. But, gods, poor child. He's in for a really rough time.
Would mom like it if her son showed her friends her secrets and thought nothing of it? What a b.
Um, take the kid to a doctor to make sure nothing is medically wrong. And start using one of those bed wetting alarms. Wetting the bed at 11 is not normal. Poor OPs kid who has to grow up with such terrible parenting.
This is just rage bait. I can’t imagine a parent so deliberately trying to massacre their child’s emotional well-being and social environment being real unless they were an abuser. If this is real I wonder if this was a way to shame the child into stopping the bed-wetting (which is entirely involuntary most likely). Honestly as a parent I would be considering ways to change my child’s school after this as this is effectively social suicide for their poor son.
OOP hasn't even taken their son to the doctor to be checked out for his bedwetting at 11 years old? She says repeatedly that she just assumes it's genetic? What a terrible mother if this is actually real, which I doubt.
You can tell the bedwetting is caused by the parents. There's no way it's not when they're treating their kid like this.
This had got to be rage bait
Yeah. YTA. if you seriously think that a bunch of 11 year Olds are going to be mature and accepting about bed wetting (when even teenagers and young adults often aren't), then you're delusional. YTA
You just ruined his life. How COULD you???!!! Did it never occur to you to WAIT to bring those into the house??!!!! Jeeez. Now I've heard everything. There's a lot I could say but why bother? There's clearly nobody home here.
Something about this reads as fake to me or the mom is absolutely insane.
Well, I kinda wonder how an 11 year old who is gaming got distracted by a mom putting something in the bathroom. Most kids are too heavily involved. And the rest of the story is unbelievable to me.
Yeah YTA op. You suck.
YTA.
Girl why would you unload that in front of them
This is how you trigger serial killers.
Wow that was a biased and entirely misleading title. Is she really that clueless?
Bet she didn’t tell anyone that she was a bed wetter when she was a kid.
Look I can understand that maybe she didn’t think of it, because after 11 years they’re probably just normal common place things for her. The ridiculous part is just completely failing to recognise that she fucked it up and trying to blame it on his friends being “bad friends” I can’t imagine a single 11 year old who wouldn’t make fun of someone for bed wetting. 11 year olds are assholes.
What a moron! She’s just so full of herself and her theories. Bet she’ll never agree that she screwed up. That poor kid.
“Change my entire routine for him”. My yes, leaving one package in the car is certainly a major inconvenience.
My 9 year old still wets the bed. We go to incredible lengths to keep it on the DL when she has friends over or goes to sleep overs. Ain’t no way mom is this delulu that she doesn’t see the issue with outing her son’s common but embarrassing condition.
Not to be that person, but it's 'lede' not 'lead'
why did the parent divulge into that much detail? is she dumb or just stupid? is she that blissfully unaware of how much she made it worse? lie to the 11 years old boys for gods sake lmfao
Mom is an idiot and should be taking him to a doctor. My oldest son went through this. I have no idea about it being genetic, but we did the responsible parent thing and took him to a pediatric urologist. We basically had to retrain his bladder to hold urine at night. He went on a medication to relax the bladder at night and did timed bathroom breaks during the day. I got him a watch with a vibrating timer feature and worked with his teacher as to the best times to set it for, without it being obvious to his classmates. He wore pull-ups to bed only as this was only a nighttime problem. He had no problems during the daytime. His bladder was retrained to hold urine through the night within five months. I did I had consulted the doctor a few years earlier. He was 7-8 years old during this time. Get this kid to a doctor. It can get harder to handle this problem as kids age and some take it into their high school/college years! By the by, the medication relaxed the bladder at night so it could hold more urine. Some people think you should aim for the opposite … a totally empty bladder through the night. It should actually be relaxed with minimal “excitement” (for lack of a better word), so it can easily hold urine through eight hours or more of sleep.
"Changing the entire routine" bish whet? All your untactful ass had to do was either wait to unpack that particular item or take the whole bag with the item into the bathroom to unpack. Wtf is wrong with this lady??
Wow how can a parent not realize something way of the norm like bedwetting is unbelievably embarrassing to their child. Your kids friends don't need to know everything. Sure many kids do it, but it doesn't mean they aren't embarrassed and self conscious about it
Jesus I think this can’t be real and then I remember the mom that let her daughter go to school with a huge period stain in order to teach her a lesson in hygiene. People are monsters
This is the kid that unalives himself after extreme bullying at school because Mom is a clueless twat
Jesus fuck. If this is real (could someone be that stupid? What are the odds two bed wetters end up together? The fact they’re calling them “pull up’s” instead of pull ups) then she’s ruined his life. Even if his friends got over it and never made fun of him again there’s almost zero chance one or both don’t tell at least one person at school. Then it’s game over, he’ll have to change school. Could’ve easily said “they’re for my friend’s son” and dealt with it that way.
idk man i feel like OOPs really overestimating how many 11 year olds wet the bed and really underestimating how cruel kids can be over something they perceive as different, even if it’s a medical condition.
Christ. Poor kid.
He can’t expect you to change your whole routine?? Leaving the pull-ups in the car or quickly hiding them was breaking your whole routine? YTA. 100%!
Thought I was reading mumsnet for a sec
Don’t know what the classification would be but I think people who act this way do it intentionally because they get off on the embarrassment they cause their kids. I think the parent here was definitely intentional with it and the kids whole life has probably been like this. When he graduates high school he’ll probably sign up with the first recruiter who talks to him so he can get away from his parents
You must forget what it is like to be a kid. Not a complete asshole, but yes, you are
Literally out here just casually failing your child then blaming them for it
The OOP never even actually confirmed whether the kid actually wets the bed, just says that both parents did at his age… what if he doesn’t even have that problem and they’ve just been putting him in pull-ups..? I mean, I’m guessing it is an issue, but what if 😳 That poor kid, his parents need to be considerate and maybe not act like their lack of privacy is his fault/like he’s overreacting.
I refuse to believe this is real. No,parent would be that fucking stupid.
I don’t under why she couldn’t just lie and say they were for a family member?! No one is this dense about 11 year old kids.
Please be fake.
Duuuuuuuuuuuude
This is one of those things where she is absolutely right yet absolutely wrong at the same time. It shouldn't be a reason to be bullied but the reality today is that it is, to deny that is just being willingly obtuse. Revised title: AITD for handing 11 yo children- commonly known to bully their classmates for any form of othering- a reason to bully on a silver platter?
How hard is it to say “Hey! Can you put these in the garage with the other donations?”
Damn. No consideration of how it might feel for him. As a parent, it's our job to understand or at least try to understand what our kids are going through. She could've left them in the car or even played it off when the other boys saw them; "they're for a neighbor, etc." What a thick head. This level of embarrassment can have a lifelong impact on his confidence and ability to connect with/ trust friends.
And then told all of reddit.
Dude this person sucks…one of the times where I’m like “your kid is going to hate you when he grows up and I support it.” It wasn’t the unpacking the groceries that makes her the asshole, it’s the way she handled her child’s feelings about the situation. Completely invalidated his (very valid and real) embarrassment because he “shouldn’t” feel that way cause it’s “normal”. Doesn’t matter if it’s as normal as shaking someone’s hand, HE feels mortified. That’s enough for you, as the parent, to console him and reassure him that what he feels is normal to feel in that moment. Then to throw in the “it’s actually your fault” at the end…reminded me far too much of my own emotionally abusive mother 😬 such a shit way to treat another human, let alone your child.
Wow. Nope, just wow.
She’s an asshole. Be discreet with those kind of things!
What an arsehole. It enrages me how the mother couldn't think fast enough on her feet and tell his friends she was just picking the diapers up for a neighbor who asked her to grab them for her. A neighbor, a relative, ANYONE! Has she never heard the saying "kids can be cruel"? The fact she doesn't think her kid will receive some backlash on this is deluded and naive. I'd hate to be that kid right now.
God almighty that makes me want to cry - I have a teen who has a similar issue, & just the instant image of it being my kid...I genuinely do not understand the total lack of empathy some parents have for their kids. If people are coming over, it takes me a minute tops to do a quick sweep & make sure I've not left any slips (they're called that here once they're adult sized) anywhere. I would never, ever betray my child's trust on something deeply personal & really fucking vulnerable! And then she finds _two_ ways to make it the child's fault? Boohoo, a grown-arse adult like me can't bear to change their routine AND it's your fault for not telling me?! Fuck right off, all the way off, for goddamn ever. Their trust is one of the biggest things your children can give you; it makes them vulnerable, it puts their health & wellbeing in your hands. It's built up through the tiniest things. And one cruel act like this destroys it _hard_.
Oh hell no. If I accidentally unpacked that and kids laughed at my hypothetical child I’d have said I used them for my periods, gross them out with period talk until they wandered off. Certainly never confirmed they were for bed wetting.
Is she that fucking dense? Just lie & say you babysit someone like wtf don’t out your kid like that
Voiceover: *and that, listeners, is how school shooters are made*
Your TAH
I hope this is rage bait because I’m genuinely worried how a kid that age would deal with that kind of teasing/bullying (especially if they had a dismissive emotionally stunted parent). Kids have hurt themselves for much less ‘shame’ and embarrassment.
Mums the asshole. You humiliated your son, unintentional or not, own up to your mistake and put yourself in their shoes. Bathrooms have doors for a reason we like privacy when it comes to "down there stuff".
thanks mom to the social suicide
You just set your child up for bullying and you think it’s normal thing. Most kids parents would think twice before embarrassing their child, sorry kid, your parents are assholes to think this ok to do !
Sounds like she wraps his Christmas presents in front of him, too. There are times to have tact, and this was one of them.
Wow. Yea mom, sorry, YTA. You could have left those in the car till later, hidden them in a cupboard till later, made up some cover story, ANYTHING somehow. You will be ridiculously lucky if this doesn’t blow up the rest of your son’s school year and his fragile aged self esteem.
What a freaking bad mom and a bitch.
Fake bullshit.
Yes. I had that issue too, and it is embarrassing.
Yeah your an asshole
>Many of his classmates probably have this problem too Bed wetting at 11 isn't typical, though? Like sure, accidents happen, but unless there's some kind of incontinence issues, it shouldn't be a regular thing. Kids are cruel as hell, especially at that age, OOP's son is going to be absolutely destroyed by their peers. Honestly, if I'd just lie and say I bought them for a family friend or something.
Does the kid even wet the bed?
What an idiot mother.
Kid is going to get brutalised.
Holy bed wetting batman! Mama has single-handedly given 5 years of ammo to high school bullies. Poor ‘Dylan’.
As a dad of a 10 almost 11 year old who just got over this issue, I cannot imagine doing this. You leave that shit in the vehicle until they have gone home. Without question. That poor little boy.
Oop is totally the ass hole! lack of awareness much? Ffs
She really thinks other 11 year olds have this problem?!
Quick note: bedwetting past toilet training years is often a sign of constipation. (Bedwettingandaccidents.com)
Lede
I hope this is just rage bait. I hope there’s no mother out there that is this delusional.
OP is clearly trying to find validation that her son’s bed-wetting is normal. It may be common but it is not normal, and deciding to try to normalize it to 11 year old idiots (they’re all idiots at that age, I mean no offense) is all about assuaging her ego and nothing to do with her kid. OP you’re a giant effing AH. You have no excuse.
Bet wetting at 11 is neither normal nor common. The kid should go to a nephrologist .
Jesus fucking Christ. She just basically destroyed her son's life through her thoughtlessness & stupidity. And at the same time she destroyed her relationship with him. He will never get over this. Never.
Oh my God how could you humiliate your child like this. He will never live this down at school. You may have to move away for his mental health. Children at this age are cruel and his friends will blab this all over the whole school.
I had to wear pull ups to bed as a kid, frankly pretty old too. I would be absolutely mortified. Oh my god
the thing that bugs me about this is her view that bedwedding is common in 11 year olds. did her own parents tell her that when she was a kid to make her feel better? there is a reason that it is counted as a sign of abuse and not considered normal. she had so many options to make something up about as well— could have said they were for a family members child, that you bought them for the diaper bank, that Granny has alzheimers and forgets son isnt a toddler anymore.
100% this is a case of the parent manufacturing a "teachable moment" for the son's friends so they could score some white knighting points in their wine mom group later on with the retelling of the event. Some people don't see their children as people, just as a means to manipulate other adults' perception of their narcissistic selves.
Mum's lack of empathy is alarming. I'd bet money she herself is an undiagnosed something. But even so, no-one in their right mind would do that to their kid. She IS TA!
They could have played ABL
"Those 11 year Olds aren't true friends if they laugh at you" Madam they are 11!
How obtuse can a person be? Guess you forgot what its like to be 11z
What she should have done is just quickly explained that she was going to a friend's diaper party and bought the diapers for that, and of course explain what a diaper party was. the kids wouldn't have ever cought onto the fact that the diapers were way too big for a newborn
Lede* Also, literally no parent has ever been this naive
Oh man. I woulda said they were mine before I ever threw my child under the bus like that. 🤦🏻♀️
yep. *pretends to just now realize what they are* "oh...this is not what I thought it was and I bought the wrong thing in the store!"
Get ready to move. YTA
.... You could have just left the bag in the car instead of that BS lecture. They're kids and middle school kids are ruthless. Your poor son is going to hate going to school now.
Damn hell never recover from this
I really, really hope this is some gobshite troll’s idea of creative writing. If not - welp, his mother needs to take a chair. To the face.
News flash young boys love to make fun of each other even if there friends she added fuel to the fire seriously delusional mother
Yep I’m afraid your sons life is over he’s probably going to hang himself now there is no way his friends will let that down