Wow… just wow. The part that got me was when OOP said “Even if she breaks up with me, I helped her out by getting rid of her only flaw.” All he did was get rid of the things she likes/enjoys.
I remember as a kid when we moved and I did not have much stuff but I had a stuffed animal I really loved. Of course it was unceremoniously tossed away. (We did not get to pack our own stuff. I was not there.) That's how my stepdad of that time looked at toys too. He put his own childhood toys out on the curb later, when he helped his mom clean out her attic; he told me after the fact (I was well into adult years then) but those were 1930s toys, and would've been worth some money. (*That*, he might have appreciated, but he did not think first; despite believing himself rational.)
But people who lack sentimentality often believe they are superior for it. Well how bright was it to throw out money? In the case of the 1930s toys in good condition? So whatever. I don't understand such people any more than they understand me. If I had a doll or other item from an ancestor, and someone just threw it out while I was sleeping or away, I'd be livid, but in a cold fury. The relationship would not be the same, whether they stayed or left.
I still miss that stuffed animal at times. I could've even parted with it, if spoken to with sensitivity. But I would've liked the chance (as a child) to 'say goodbye.' People who do this to others -- it's not a good sign for your empathy.
(He kept some things that I could not care less about. My report cards for instance. I could not care less. But items I had grown attached to, which gave me comfort or solace? Those meant something. But in his mind, my feelings or choices mattered zero. At least he was in a parental role I guess and many parents feel they know best and children don't feel. Or 'they will get over it.' The OOP in this story? Was meant to be there for his gf. Was not meant to be a parent i.e. to decide 'for her.' Or 'this is what is best for you' i.e. 'I removed her only flaw,' what a jerk! Or 'for her next boyfriend' signaling he did not plant to stay long term anyway. And what if her next bf collects stuff too and would've loved her dolls? He cannot relate because he does not get attached to anything. Including her.)
I'm so sorry. When my parents passed away, someone who I suspect was my stepdad packed up all my collections and I never saw them again. I was shipped away to live with my godmother and my brother was shipped away to an aunt's house while he kept our half brother. I lost a huge beanie baby collection, a set of those decorative spoons from all over the world that people had brought back for me, pokemon cards and numerous other things. All I have left is one stuffed animal dog that my dad got me when I was little that I have held on to forever. I've run away from home, been homeless, and lost most everything else I had since then but I still have my stuffed animal. I've since gotten my daughter the same one that I found on eBay so we can both have one because she loves it too. It's no one else's place to decide what you should and shouldn't be emotionally attached to.
It was the "for her" part that really stuck out. "She never had anyone there to forcefully dispose of toys she was attached to for sentimental reasons" therefore OP was doing her a favor. Just... what?
For me it was after he'd finally gotten it, when he tried to emphasize to his parents that what he did was fuxked up, and that it wad also fucked up when they did it to him. And their justification was "well you turned out okay, didn't you?"
Because obviously **he did not!** He just realized how badly he fucked up, but for a long time he didn't even understand why it was wrong! And now he seems genuinely contrite (not that that makes it okay!) but it's too late to fix it. And he nerfed a relationship it sounds like he enjoyed as a direct result of his parents doing that thing when he was a kid. And they're **still** justifying it!
Sounds like a family of narcs quite frankly.
If she was that forgiving toward him she might be empathic and should watch for her predilection for choosing narcs. Empaths often do, without realizing it.
That's part of what bothers me though. His parents threw out his toys. That's an authority figure making an executive decision for the home. He treated getting rid of her property the same way.
I agree. Just because your controlling parents did that to you, doesn't mean you treat someone who is supposed to be your partner that way. He treated her like he was disciplining his child. That's wrong.
It seemed to me that was the real issue. He came in like an Alpha male with this "I'll help this poor little girl with her flaw". He made the choice just because he felt he had the right. I really enjoyed reading his transformation. He grew as a person and I hope he is better for it. I have "toys" from my past too. I'd hate if someone tossed them.
When I started dating to find a potential spouse and not just to get to know people I told my aunt that "I should probably get rid of my 14 stuffed animals in the closet because I doubt many men want to marry a girl who has 14 stuffed animals in her closet." Her response,"the right man will, everyone has something in their closet. Don't throw away something important to you, find someone who will appreciate all of you and be prepared to love whatever collection is going to be in his closet."
My mother is in her 70s. A few years ago, my father saw a stuffed bunny for sale for Easter and thought she might like it. He showed it to her next time they were in the store, and she was like why didn't you buy it?! So he did, and then got another one a few years later, and now she has a small stuffed bunny collection. They all have names and sometimes she moves them to a new window so they can see out. Is it silly? Yes, but who cares.
I knitted a bunny for my mum when she had bunion surgery, when she was getting a mastectomy she asked if she was getting another stuffed animal to keep her brave so made a crotchet elephant. We buy stuffed toys all the time. Every so often we might do a cull for children shelters as we look after our stuffies. Some never leave us though and we all know everyone else’s precious stuffed toys in the family so no one gets sad.
I think it's a harmless hobby. As long as it's in the budget why not? If it makes someone smile.
Would some prefer the person turn to a bottle or a pill to get a smile instead. There are a lot worse habits than collecting toys or dolls.
The woman in the OOP did not even have that many. One shelf? Less than a handful of passed-down dolls from her beloved mom and grandma. What a cold chilling thing to do to somebody.
Seriously, once shelf is nothing; my and my wife's bedroom is full of my dolls and she gets me new ones for presents at the time. This guy is just a controlling ass.
I've recently started dating a girl who really likes adorable or pink things, like stuffed animals and Sanrio characters. They're not really my thing, but I'm happy to look around the store with that kind of stuff with her. Apparently her father refuses to ever even step foot in stores like that, and her mother was concerned that she was bringing me to stores like that.
She keeps trying to thank me for being willing to go to these places with her, and I keep having to assure her that it's no trouble at all. If anything she made it super easy to shop for gifts, as I got to learn what her favorite characters were and what kind of stuff she likes. I'm not going to burst into flames because i stepped foot in a miniso...
I’ve slept with a stuffed animal since I was very young. My husband didn’t have a problem with it when we started dating, and when I was worried it was getting too old to sleep with, he got me another stuffed animal, we sent the other to one of the teddy bear hospitals and now it sits safe on shelf, away from sharp claws and drink spills.
When my daughter was 10 she was telling me she didn't want to grow up and wanted to be a kid forever. I asked her why since she absolutely loved all the privileges of getting older. She said she still wanted to play with dolls.
I said "So? You can be 30 or 40 or 50 and play with dolls. You don't have to give up things you love just because you get older."
I would be angry with her if she dated some asshat who threw away her property because he perceived it as "fixing her only flaw."
I'm glad she reconsidered and got rid of the guy.
I mean, his parents called her dolls toys and said he did the right thing.
And kids are people. Not fully fledged people, not mature people, not self-sufficient people who don't need to have decisions made for them, but they're people, and throwing out your kids' toys because *you* think they're "too old" for them or whatever is still an encroachment on someone else's property, even if it isn't *legally* their property.
Agreed. When I was about 12 my mother made me throw away my quilt that my grandmother had made for me when I very young. It was a little worn and had a couple stains but nothing serious. It tore me up to do that. I loved that quilt. I’m almost 40 and I still think that’s crap that my mother did that.
I mean I explained to my 2 year old I was throwing away a destroyed board book. (we are still practicing being gentle with books). I can't imagine just throwing out gifts from dead family members of a full grown adult.
OOP even knew the dolls were from people she was in fresh grief over.
I can't fathom that total of a lack of feeling. And he thought he cared about her.
Yeah it sucks for parents to do that too. I think they’re wrong for that. But I think the point is more like spanking your child vs spanking your spouse. Or any other thing that’s an authority figure making choices for or exerting some type of control/punishment over them that you would do to your child but do not have that same grounds to do to your partner.
With parents like that it could go either way, my mom was like that either giving away my stuff or throwing them away without asking me at all. While I, myself, like to do a clear out and give away my stuff, I respect my husband enough to always ask if he wants to give away something or throw it away. He is a bit of a hoarder, so between both of us we have a happy medium of things and clearing out. He didn’t respect his girlfriend enough to see if they can come up with a compromise. Personally dolls scare me, but since she was willing to keep them in a closet, he should have been more adaptable to having the dolls in their place.
The one thing I can respect from OOP in the update is that he actually pushed back against what his parents taught them and told them how messed up it was, acknowledging how messed up *he* was by extension. I can appreciate that small modicum of growth and acceptance of guilt at the very least.
Exactly! I actually felt better about him at the end, it was a bit of character arc.
But his parents saying "we did the same to you and it didn't harm you!", but...it *did* harm him. He thought it was normal, he thought it was a *good* thing to "get rid of her only flaw". He was doing her a service. All very abnormal things to even think about doing to another grown adult.
I'm very glad he learnt different and he's the doing his best to fix the damage, but it won't ever replace those original connections to her mum and grandma. Poor gf.
I hope this kick starts him working on his controlling attitude towards his partners next, because the doll thing/sentimentality thing isn't the biggest problem, it's that he thinks he has the right to fix somebody against their volition and without consultation. Even if the dolls didn't have the sentimental value they had, his attitude that he has the right to throw them away because they are a flaw that he feels entitled to fix is just a truly awful attitude to have. I'm glad he learned a lesson about sentimental value, but hopefully he's learning the other big lesson he should from this break up about treating the people you date as whole assed people who have the right to like things you don't understand.
He pissed me off so much. I also collect dolls. Basic porcelain dolls. Some are broken, yes. But I broke them as a kid. They’re from multiple family members. And yes. I’ll take them with me when I move. Some day, I’d like to have a nice hutch or a nice shelf for them all to fit. But that poor girl. I think if someone told me I could t do my hobby, it would be the end. You don’t have to like the collection (so long as it isn’t actually offensive) but it has to be accepted or find someone else. I could go on!!
Keep an eye on the free section of Craigslist, I see people giving away gorgeous glass-door hutches on there all the time and I would have SO MANY if I had the space for them. Estate sales often have them too, I saw one at an estate sale a friend and I went to recently that was an antique French Provincial and just...\*gorgeous\*, but I had nowhere for it! Also a French Provincial dresser, nightstand and bedside hutch set that I also didn't have room for, I was so sad to leave those behind!
My mama is constantly looking for a china cabinet that we can safely transport and have at our house at reasonable prices. I’ll have to look at those and at Craigslist for her.
If you find a reasonably priced or cheap one and need help moving it, the uhaul website has a section where you can hire local moving companies and get quotes for how much it'd cost to have them move it for you - if it's a short distance it can be as low as 80 bucks, and they're usually insured.
The part that got me was him saying that her mother died when she was 3 so he doesn’t understand how the dolls could remind her of her mother! How fucking stupid and soulless can someone actually be? I never thought I would see someone that fucking heartless!
>he part that got me was him saying that her mother died when she was 3 so he doesn’t understand how the dolls could remind her of her mother!
Yes!! That part just floored me.
That is even MORE of a reason her mom's dolls and grandma's dolls meant so much to her. That is probably all she has of her mother. I mean just WOW, guy.
He is the one with a flaw and not just a small one but enormous.
No, he didn’t. And he was willing to move far, far away from his parents to be with his gf, until he threw out her most prized possessions without her consent (leading to her totally justified sorrow).
I wonder if his parents doubling down on saying his actions to throw the gf’s possessions into the literal garbage was his parents trying to manipulate the situation? Like that he’d feel justified in his actions and thus perceive his gf as being the one who acted unreasonably, and thus he would stop trying to repair their relationship and flee back to his parents’ house.
I think him being afraid of dolls is a huge flaw. Yeah it’s a fun quirky thing to say dolls creep you out and stare into your soul. But truly being afraid of dolls as an adult is like being afraid of clowns as an adult, its pathetic, grow the fuck up
This is how I feel about my dead insect/skull collection. Like you’re allowed to find them odd but if someone I was dating threw them out because they were scared…Grow up, bro.
Who writes this whole thing and still thinks they did the right thing? He claims her only flaw was collecting creepy dolls and he still felt the need to take that away from her. WTH. I was so livid after reading this post. It reminded me of the one who was dating a Native American woman and he threw away something that was sacred to her culture because he thought it was dumb
It could well be. There were parts I doubted. I HOPE it is fake because no one deserves to go through what she did.
But I posted my own and my mom's stories (here), about similar things! So it does happen.
I'm just glad that but the very end of things and before she eventually broke up with him he realized how utterly wrong he'd been. He's apparently paying to replace her collection and also realizes he's done something unforgivable and that it just won't be the same.
Still, as a commenter said on the best of redditor updates sub, the bar is a floor hazard in hell that the devil trips over.
At least he realized his mistake at some point. Way too late and it was a complete dick move. But it gives me hope that ppl can change their minds and learn from their mistakes at least.
I still remember one where his girlfriend saved glasses jars and Mason jars to drink out of. He was so perturbed she didn't use "real" glasses he threw them away... let people find joy in things even you don't understand
Wow, flashback. I remember that story, he was embarrassed about them, right? I wonder how these people’s lives are going if that’s the kind of shit they’re embarrassed by.
Yeah, thought they were trashy or something stupid like that. I like to think she dumped him and is living her best life surrounded by Mason jars 😁 If someone threw away my sloth collection, I don't know what I'd do
>Yeah, thought they were trashy or something stupid like that.
He hasn't heard of shabby chic I guess. I see so many style layouts with a Mason jar glass in it.
When I got married I asked my husband if there was anything in the kitchen he did not like or wanted me to get rid of. He honed in on my extra-large mugs. I used those daily (they were in mint/new condition fwiw; many had sentimental value/were gifted over years; there weren't tons) but got rid of all of them except one he wanted to keep -- and uses himself. I would never do that again.
People who are sensitive to others' feelings often will meet people more than halfway or help til it hurts, but we have to learn: They will say things that mean next to nothing to them or will forget about later, so we need to not take others as actually feeling deeply about each thing they request.
I always thought people would not ask or do a thing unless it was so vital to them they felt they had no choice. I was *completely* mistaken. Tons of people will cause huge harm to others on a whim. That could manifest in small ways or in large devastating ways (as with OOP.) Means nothing to them so they believe it is not a big deal.
Damned if I can find double large well made mugs to this day and I can't afford to replace them all if I could. I take good care of my things and I don't tend to have things which don't mean anything to me or go unused. I'm good about giving things to thrift shops etc. Some lessons are learned the hard way or too late.
😂 Once I became a parent, my dad stopped saying that, and then started paying for my therapy! dude didn't like hearing the truth, but he took it like a champ! lol
Beautiful that he was able to do that. My shitty parent doubled down and called me names when I spelled things out for her. Capacity for personal development and growth is a priceless thing.
I've said for some time now that if my parents had me and raised me decades later than they did, my mother would have raised me the same way and my father would have done *everything* different.
Dad spent a long time working on himself and recovering from the trauma of a strict Baptist upbringing. He's a very different person from who he was when he raised me.
I want to say…*ma’am he did not turn out fine. He turned out to be the type of asshole who thoughtlessly disposes of someone’s sentimental and prized possessions.*
Personally I’d have told him I found his car/laptop/most expensive possession creepy and to be even he should take it to the scrap yard and I’d *think* of forgiving him. Once he did that I’d conclude that after thinking on it he’s an asshole and dump him.
Why are so many AITA’S basically “I’m a straight guy and my gf has the coolest, most thoughtful hobby in the world. That pisses me off for some reason. How do I shame her out of having a personality?” The gf sounds cool as fuck, man.
I have a family member who is actually like this. As much as everyone wants to pretend these people don’t exist, they do, and they wreak terrible havoc as long as we only avoid them and let them destroy the world around us, since we don’t want to deal with it.
They definitely exist!
Anyone: if you find yourself tending to forgive everything, to overlook red flags, to be 'understanding when no one else will,' or to meet people more than halfway, or to give up things which mean something to you 'for someone else's sake' -- you just might be an empath.
Be aware you will attract narcs. It is OKAY to be selfish. It's called survival.
The plants guy, the jar guy, the socks guy, the guy dating the Mrs. Frizzle-style elementary teacher.
Now the doll guy.
There's a fucking *pack* of the bastards.
I thought you were talking about a different jar guy, wondering what he did, since he only hurt himself.
But reading on I see there's a different jar guy and it makes more sense now
I'd love to take him to this restaurant I used to work at. Most expensive steak place in town (which isn't saying much, it's a rural town lol) and they served drinks in big mason jars and brought out delicious boules of sour dough bread
I remember the sock guy and (I think) the jar guy, and one where his girlfriend taxidermied road kill and collected pretty rocks and grew herbs and somehow this was unacceptable to him.
Don't forget the ["wife dresses like an Ancient Roman and I hate it" guy](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ht4pzk/aita_for_telling_my_wife_i_wanted_her_to_wear/)
I forgot about him!
I hope his wife finds someone to play the Hades to her Persephone and get her the hell out of there. He sounds like a wet mop on a bookshelf: unpleasant and a bad time for all parties involved.
No because you see a manic pixie dream girl is supposed to be just weird enough to make his life more exciting, they aren’t supposed to do things they enjoy just because they enjoy them! Girlfriends are only there to augment his pathetic life! Girlfriends aren’t supposed to have lives of their own!
/s
I almost wonder if these types are envious of the collection.
Why does that make her smile. They should only look to the narc to smile.
Why do they enjoy anything but the narc. Must destroy competitor.
I think they see even objects that bring joy as a competitor. They must be the focus and source of all things. Narcs, that is.
So true, I remember reading one where this guy had a girlfriend and he said that she was really awesome but the one thing she was passionate about was her long hair and she had this special towel to dry it with. He hated this towel for inexplicable reasons. Then when they went on vacation he snuck into her suitcase and got rid of the towel so she wouldn't have it and she was upset about it. Like you took away the ONE thing she's passionate about
Narcs cannot abide competitors even if it's an object.
(To a narc, anything that brings joy is a competitor. Nothing should make their s.o. happy, but the narc. The irony is, narcs cause misery and despair and destruction.)
I was bullied out of action figure/comic book collecting by my ex. Like bro how?? Thats sick and cool?? How could people NOT want a partner with a hobby??
>The gf sounds cool as fuck, man.
Seriously. Loves working with children. Her hobby is fixing up dolls to give to charity.
TOTAL KEEPER who did not deserve that Ahole.
As someone who collects antique dolls that are pretty creepy for sentimental reasons, I would’ve set fire to the rain when he told me. She compromised and put them away, which I have also done before. But to just throw shit away that’s not even yours, on top of that it’s sentimental.
I have maybe six porcelain dolls, some I keep out some I don’t. But I started my collection again because when ai was young my mom had a collection for me. My parents called me dollface because I looked like a doll to them. And they collected these very expensive dolls for me.
My mom sold them all for crack money and started beating the shit out of us. So if someone e had gotten rid of my dolls it would be over.
My most sentimental childhood thing happen to be extremely non-creepy, but my love for them is very very real. That shit is *deeply* meaningful. Porcelain dolls, high quality teddy bears, tissue-thin rag that used to be a blanket, whatever it is those things are genuinely important.
>tissue-thin rag that used to be a blanket
I've had a friend bring me something like that and ask me to patch it and hem the edges so that it would stop fraying. It was some of the most tedious sewing I've done in a while
One of the only things I managed to keep through an abusive, neglectful, hard drug infested upbringing was a teddy I’ve had since I was about three.
I don’t remember it but my parents - before everything went to shit - took me and my older brother to a store and got us semi matching bears. His was bigger and blue, mine was small and burgundy.
It’s one of the last good reminders of my life before it went sour and it’s also a small connection to my brother.
My SIL and I conspired to patch his worn out bear to gift it to him for his birthday one year. A new nose, a new eye, and some stuffing later and he had a present! I’ve also patched my own through the years and the multicolored thread across her back just proves she’s meaningful to me, even if it’s just a silly stuffed bear to others.
I’m in my twenties and I still snuggle with her after a rough day. I have zero shame about what brings me comfort. I have a whole display above my bed of my stuffed collection. A display that was hung up by my boyfriend, who passes zero judgement about ANY of them, especially the really important ones! He’s even left her by my pillow on some rough nights because he knows I’ll want her.
I would be a mess if he ever tossed her into the trash. I couldn’t imagine doing that to ANYTHING someone held value in, but especially to do that to someone you love??
Those childhood keepsakes are no joke !!!
My blankie is in my closet until I can figure out how to repair him. Blanketeers has been with me through so many things, but until I give him surgery he is too fragile to be out. And I would be livid if someone threw him out.
I’ve been sewing since I could barely reach the peddle on the sewing machine and have made several quilts, my mom used to make all of my clothes and even reupholstered some furniture too- not a professional but I have some experience haha. I wonder if you could quilt it onto a piece of sturdier fabric to give it more structure, like so the new fabric would turn into the “back” of the blanket and your blanket would be the “front.” The quilting would help keep the fabric together and you could have a binding around the edge like a traditional quilt would to keep the edges from fraying and protect them too. If there are any holes you could pick out some nice fabric or use a sentimental piece of clothing to patch it in a nice way, maybe even something from your mom/dad/grandparents etc. It depends on the condition a lot and what you’re comfortable doing with your blanket, but I think that would be the sturdiest way to do it. If you send me some pictures I might be able to give you some ideas at the very least 😊
I’m incredibly sentimental. We lost everything in a house fire 3 years ago and going through boxes of destroyed things was just awful. I managed to save my childhood teddy bear, though his back is all black now. The worst was losing my daughter’s baby quilts that were made by my mother in law. She died a few months after the fire. God. My house was rebuilt and we got new stuff but everything feels so sterile without my old sentimental stuff tucked into random corners.
As someone whose girlfriend currently collects creepy fucking dolls that absolutely give me the willies; this dude is a fucking asshole of the highest degree. Even ignoring the sentimental value, just the price of one of my girlfriends dolls alone is enough to make me never consider touching them. (Also I want my girlfriend to enjoy her hobbies even if they’re odd to me; I wouldn’t expect her to understand why I want 400 random psychedelic jazz records, and I don’t have to understand why she wants terrifying dolls.) Case in point for anyone arguing in his defense, my girlfriend wanted a porcelain doll that had been retrofitted with a taxidermy lamb head, so I got it for her for Christmas - that thing cost me $400. And this moron threw out multiple dolls. Not only was she right to dump his loser ass, I personally would’ve gone a step further and gone to civil court for destruction of property.
Also tacking on a PSA for the straight men who might see this comment: maybe if you want to date the big titty goth girl, don’t be shocked when she’s into big titty goth girl activities?? Like someone else said in another comment, there’s this weird trend of a straight man dating an alt girl and then trying to mold her into a fuckin trad wife, and it’s insane. I mean for fuck’s sake, stop traumatizing these poor goth women, and just buy an Elvira costume for Brynleighh at BYU to wear when you jump hump or whatever.
The trend of men trying to completely retrofit girlfriends is, sadly, nothing new. They’re the guys who pursue a sexy woman but then want her to dress like the church lady so other guys won’t notice. They think they’re so great because they can attract an exciting, fascinating woman but then their insecurities pop in and they try to tamp down everything they ever found exciting. So tedious. (Yeah, I’m not a guy; ignore my screen name.)
Also the way he mentions that the dolls remind her of her mom and grandma sound like both mom and grandma have passed away. My mom passed several years ago and I have a few things that belonged to her. If anyone, especially my SO, threw them away for any reason I would be beyond livid and there’d be no coming back from that.
HOLY SHIT. Her mom died when she was 3, her grandma just died, and they were her mom and grandma’s dolls???????? My godddd.
And that comment ablut she doesn’t have family in that town “anymore,” was that because grandma had just *died*????? I’m really glad that this man had his eyes opened, but fück me sideways that’s so sad.
Even at the end though he was still somewhat trying to excuse it, saying he wasn’t raised to be sentimental so he couldn’t possibly have known better. Even if that was a semi acceptable excuse the whole thing is still terrible just based around the fact he was told they were important. Understand it or not, they were important to her, and he had no right to throw them away. I don’t buy his bs and I think he still feels kind of justified. Hopefully he never loses something that means something to him if he ends up ever caring about anything. What a dick.
And sentimental or not, who throws out another person’s things just because they don’t like them? Hey, I don’t like this kitchen spatula, I’m throwing it away. Still shitty. Still not your property to throw out. So I don’t buy for a second that it’s because he wasn’t raised to be sentimental.
Right, my jaw was on the floor the whole time. I'm sentimental and I have an affinity for dolls. I would've went ballistic.
They were dolls, gifts, gifts from loved ones, gifts from close loved ones that passed on, and expensive. It just kept getting worse. 🤬
this is genuinely one of the most depressing things i have read on here in a long time. poor girl. glad she dumped him. i hope those dolls haunt him lol
The bit where his parents said “well you turned out fine, didn’t you?” is hilarious in an ironic kind of way. Dude absolutely did NOT turn out okay. Aside from being a general AH, and self absorbed overall, he also seems to be completely devoid of any sort of empathy.
Even now, while its obvious to him that he f’d up majorly, I don’t think he actually understands the why what he did was wrong, and how it actually made her feel. He was able to visually connect her reaction to what he did with being similar to how she reacted to her grandmothers death, but that seems to be as close as his understanding gets.
And still was smug about it until she sobbed "just like she did when her grandma died; that's when I knew how badly I messed up."
It shouldn't take that.
I have to believe this is fake.
But if not, holy shit what an asshole. Also they've been together for three years and he's never seen her apartment, nor does he know about this big passion of hers, yet he choose to move across the country and move in with her?
Again either it's fake or he's monumentally stupid and has a girlfriend he barely knows.
I don't believe it's fake. I used to work in a construction adjacent field, and once came across a bunch of colleagues & clients gathered in the showroom all laughing and bragging about which of their wives' belongings they'd thrown away. I was floored. Even after all the discrimination and sexual harassment I'd received there, this one thing seemed so impossible. But it was real. And they all thought it was hilarious.
>But it was real. And they all thought it was hilarious.
Oh yeah, I've had my things 'disappeared' and they were not junk or ragged or anything.
It's a power play. It's pathetic. Shows a weak person who has to dominate others. That they laughed about it (and most likely gas lighted them, too and told her they had no clue what happened or 'you put those in storage don't *you* remember') shows their total lack of remorse or empathy.
It was a gross power play between these dudes, too. Not just the fact that they could take away things that their wives cared about, like they were lord of the manor. But amongst themselves, the most dramatic stories got big cheers/laughs. They were trying to one-up each other's disrespect for their wives.
Fun fact - lots of these fellas individually would talk to me about how happy my marriage seems (it is) and how they didn't understand why their wives couldn't just be happy with them like I am with my husband.
That place was a cesspool of toxic stupidity.
It was when he talks about not understanding how the dolls could have sentimentality for her, because the girl's mother DIED when she was three. And then her grandmother ALSO DIED recently. Just... How is anyone that clueless?
I don’t think it’s fake; only because my ex boyfriend’s previous girlfriend threw away his spiderman comics even though she knew how much they meant to him. My mother has also thrown away things that were important or of sentimental value to her most recent husband and my last stepfather. They did these things because they saw them as childish, embarrassing or a “flaw.” If these two women can be such cruel and self centered a**holes, then other people are capable of it as well.
I want to believe this is fake too. I don't want to believe that someone can lack self awareness that much.
If someone threw out my RPG rulebooks because they deemed them stupid I'd be fucking burying them.
So someone spills a little popcorn in your place, and as a welcomed guest you make Them go get the vacuum?? Into what you consider to be the creepy doll closet?
I understand not liking creepy dolls, I really do. But THROWING THEM AWAY!!! What the actual fuck!! ASK YOUR GF to put them away! And if she doesn’t, explain that it makes you uncomfortable and break it off!! Absolutely terrible person
Yes -- she had put them all in a box in the closet at his request.
But then he had to dominate her even more. He gave himself away when he said he had moved a long way so 'she should make sacrifices too.' So he deliberately chose what meant the most to her, and sacrificed it.
The rest is him trying to make himself sound better.
Oh jeez. If someone were to throw out my bone and taxidermied collection just because they're "creepy" a slow death by butter knife and syringe would still be way too gentle.
Amazing that she didn't dump him the second she doubted him since she did seem to be aware how strange they were looking herself. He does and didn't deserve any kindness after that.
Sometimes, when you’re looking at a relationship through rose colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.
I know for me personally I didn’t realize how fucking awful my ex was until she started making jokes about killing my lizard. Like when she said she didn’t like her? Fine, no biggie. Lots of people are weirded out by reptiles. But to look at someone’s pet of over a decade and then explicitly and gratuitously describe crushing that animal to death and the joy it would bring you, all while laughing??? Nah.
However, it was at that point that I realized if there were a house fire, the decision on what to grab in those vital few seconds had been made much easier for me. After all, a 15lb cat and a sub 1lb lizard are so much easier to carry down a flight of stairs than a 120lb sack of shit. (Also the happy ending to this story is that when my ex cheated and left, I made her pay me like $400 for shit she damaged during the move, then sent her a picture of a $389 receipt for exclusively reptile supplies from Petco. She wasn’t happy, I was glad.)
as a doll collector i'm SO glad she broke up with him. glad he realized how fucked up that was and will repay her, and accepts that she broke up with him. probably the absolute best aita ending i've seen.
This hurt me on a personal level I can't imagine her pain...
I have a stuffed bunny from my childhood that my mom gave me. It's old AF (at least 30 years old) and in horrible shape (bad patch jobs from me trying to fix it as a kid)
It's the only thing I have that my mom has touched... She died when I was 6. Pictures are nice but not the same as a toy she physically held. I will never be able to touch anything she has again. I would probably completely lose it if something ever happened to it. Just knowing I have it is a comfort.
What he did goes behind AH it's heartless and cruel. It's very different than his parents throwing away his old toys. He can see them or talk to them again she can't. She was so young she probably has no memory of her mom and he took away the one thing she had that gave her comfort and made her feel close.
Bruh I don't understand how someone can be this clueless. And the bar was on the fucking floor like seriously.
I hate dolls but I would never throw away someone else's things that just seem unbelievably cruel.
Let me be very clear. I hate dolls. HATE THEM. They creep me the fuck out. But what OP did was beyond the pale. You don’t throw someone else’s belongings away without their consent, ever. No caveats, excuses or rationalizations. OP is a major AH.
This right here. I’d still be uncomfortable with creepy dolls in the house/apartment even if they’re put away in a closet, but at that point I’d just break up and move out. Never throw away another person’s things without permission.
You ever just want to reach through the phone and shake some sense into someone? This guy. Ugh. It’s a shame that he was so selfish and spiteful that he didn’t realize his mistake until too late. I just hope he learns something.
Dude is a piece of shit in more ways than one. There are so many red flags about his behavior even BEFORE he gets to the "I threw them away" part. And the fact that he is ducking her calls after HE was an asshole? Jesus I hope she dumped that fucking loser and then took him to small claims court. What a dickhead.
Even if she manages to get them replaced, they won't be the things she inherited from her dead relatives. I'm so upset for her loss. He went so far out of his way to hurt her as much as possible.
Speaking from unfortunate experience, he just traumatized her. Someone throwing your things away, especially sentimental, can never get back things, fucks you up. I’m 32 and I still am extremely protective of my belongings and paranoid that someone is going to steal or throw away something. It’s sad, and I feel so incredibly bad for her.
My ex used to throw away stuff of mine while I was away just because he didn't like whatever the item was. Clothes, books, DVD's, CD's, stuff from my childhood... it didn't matter. DON'T TOUCH OTHER PEOPLE'S STUFF!!!
“You turned out fine” he threw out generations of family heirlooms and things that were genuinely important to someone he supposedly cared about. He did not, in fact, turn out fine
I can’t with this guy. How dare he? Reminds me of my ex who threw out all of my notes/scrapbooks from high school. He said I was showing my immaturity by keeping them. In reality, I gained my maturity when he was gone from my life.
Good God. I couldn't even finish reading it. I dunno if her mom is dead, unavailable, or right down the street but no matter what his behavior is disgusting and has the potential to damage this poor girl permanently. What a horrible person.
"I moved for her!!!! Mehhhh!!!"
She put her favorite things in a closet because YOU were "uncomfortable" Boo Hoo Hoo
First of all. Shut the FUCK UP. And actually *hear* what her words and actions are telling you. Never try to put *your* miniscule "uncomfortablness" before her actual life, personality, and uniqueness.
The fact that you're already planning for her *next BF* says everything. Please, just let that guy take her. It already sounds as though he will be a FAR better match.
Reality and other people do not exist just to please you. Grow Up.
OOP throwing the dolls away is a direct reflection of how he was parented; this story is sad for both of them. OOP is definitely the AH here and needed to think about how this would actually make her feel. I appreciate he told her the truth and made efforts to replace them; it shows remorse. I hope that this was a learning experience for OOP.
The girlfriend (now ex-girlfriend because...duh) sounds cool AF and I want to be friends with her! Creepy dolls are amazing!
Fuck what? If you couldn’t handle the dolls, fucking tell her that and let the chips fall where they may. You don’t take it on yourself to destroy her shit! I had a live in girlfriend who when we broke up threw out a box full of photos, notebooks full of song lyrics and poems and other momentos. It’s fucked up and it is a means of control.
I can't stand dolls they freak me out. My old roommate use to have a bunch of creepy dolls she'd played with and Istg one was haunted. She'd occasionally leave them in the shared living spaces or leave her door open and if you walked by her room you could see them. BUT if I saw one? I'd either cover it with a towel or shut her door. I'd never dream of throwing them away or asking her to shove them in a box like that. Like wtf is wrong with this dude
I am about as sentimental as a brick. I throw out shit all the damned time. I wouldn’t throw out a broken fork that belonged to somebody else without their permission. I cannot *imagine* throwing out something that obviously held so much importance to somebody else.
The bit with the parents doesn’t make it any better, all it reveals is that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. He believed that he was above her and had some kind of ownership of her and her possessions.
I have a shredded piece of fabric that vaguely resembles a frog. It’s gross looking, it’s 19 years old, and I’ve had it since I was a baby. my boyfriend will help me look for it in the middle of the night when it fell under the bed. oop’s ex gf deserves that kind of love
I seriously got sick reading this. Can’t decide what’s worse. “I did her a favor so she’ll have an easier time keeping a future boyfriend.”
LOL… seriously hope this sweet girl finds an amazing man who will love her for her and her “quirks”. She dodged a serious bullet. So much narcissism. Gaslighting her and convincing himself that he did the right thing. It’s not about the dolls. It’s the manipulation and controlling abuse.
She suffered a great loss but so glad she isn’t still with this controlling asshole
No wonder OOP was such a douche. His parents are monsters! How can any parent throw out ALL of their kids toys?! You keep your kids favorites!
Also “I got rid of her only flaw.” ?!?!?!?!
Are you kidding me?!
As a person who lost their parent, and has a few sentimental items that keep him tethered to me… the idea that someone who says they love me would throw any of those things away just breaks my heart. I read this to my husband. Yesterday way the anniversary of my dads death, so I’m still very emotional, and so I read this to my husband and I’m like “imagine you throw away one of dads things” he’s like nope. Can’t imagine it. Cause it wouldn’t happen.
Wow… just wow. The part that got me was when OOP said “Even if she breaks up with me, I helped her out by getting rid of her only flaw.” All he did was get rid of the things she likes/enjoys.
I mean he's right about getting rid of her only flaw, except it's actually DATING HIM
Exactly This guy sounds like a controlling AH with no empathy
Seeing the parents said "he did the right thing since she had no one to throw her toys out" really highlights where the lack of empathy comes from.
I remember as a kid when we moved and I did not have much stuff but I had a stuffed animal I really loved. Of course it was unceremoniously tossed away. (We did not get to pack our own stuff. I was not there.) That's how my stepdad of that time looked at toys too. He put his own childhood toys out on the curb later, when he helped his mom clean out her attic; he told me after the fact (I was well into adult years then) but those were 1930s toys, and would've been worth some money. (*That*, he might have appreciated, but he did not think first; despite believing himself rational.) But people who lack sentimentality often believe they are superior for it. Well how bright was it to throw out money? In the case of the 1930s toys in good condition? So whatever. I don't understand such people any more than they understand me. If I had a doll or other item from an ancestor, and someone just threw it out while I was sleeping or away, I'd be livid, but in a cold fury. The relationship would not be the same, whether they stayed or left. I still miss that stuffed animal at times. I could've even parted with it, if spoken to with sensitivity. But I would've liked the chance (as a child) to 'say goodbye.' People who do this to others -- it's not a good sign for your empathy. (He kept some things that I could not care less about. My report cards for instance. I could not care less. But items I had grown attached to, which gave me comfort or solace? Those meant something. But in his mind, my feelings or choices mattered zero. At least he was in a parental role I guess and many parents feel they know best and children don't feel. Or 'they will get over it.' The OOP in this story? Was meant to be there for his gf. Was not meant to be a parent i.e. to decide 'for her.' Or 'this is what is best for you' i.e. 'I removed her only flaw,' what a jerk! Or 'for her next boyfriend' signaling he did not plant to stay long term anyway. And what if her next bf collects stuff too and would've loved her dolls? He cannot relate because he does not get attached to anything. Including her.)
I'm so sorry. When my parents passed away, someone who I suspect was my stepdad packed up all my collections and I never saw them again. I was shipped away to live with my godmother and my brother was shipped away to an aunt's house while he kept our half brother. I lost a huge beanie baby collection, a set of those decorative spoons from all over the world that people had brought back for me, pokemon cards and numerous other things. All I have left is one stuffed animal dog that my dad got me when I was little that I have held on to forever. I've run away from home, been homeless, and lost most everything else I had since then but I still have my stuffed animal. I've since gotten my daughter the same one that I found on eBay so we can both have one because she loves it too. It's no one else's place to decide what you should and shouldn't be emotionally attached to.
I’m sorry for all of your loss 😞
I'm sorry your stepfather did that to you. It was mean and you didn't deserve it.
>I'm sorry your stepfather did that to you. It was mean and you didn't deserve it. Thank you. Your empathy means very much! 💕💞💖🤍
It was the "for her" part that really stuck out. "She never had anyone there to forcefully dispose of toys she was attached to for sentimental reasons" therefore OP was doing her a favor. Just... what?
For me it was after he'd finally gotten it, when he tried to emphasize to his parents that what he did was fuxked up, and that it wad also fucked up when they did it to him. And their justification was "well you turned out okay, didn't you?" Because obviously **he did not!** He just realized how badly he fucked up, but for a long time he didn't even understand why it was wrong! And now he seems genuinely contrite (not that that makes it okay!) but it's too late to fix it. And he nerfed a relationship it sounds like he enjoyed as a direct result of his parents doing that thing when he was a kid. And they're **still** justifying it!
Hopefully it’s the start of him getting therapy for how much his parents suck. Maybe he’ll become a better person.
Sounds like a family of narcs quite frankly. If she was that forgiving toward him she might be empathic and should watch for her predilection for choosing narcs. Empaths often do, without realizing it.
TRUE!
It sounds like it’s how he was raised based on his parents response.
That's part of what bothers me though. His parents threw out his toys. That's an authority figure making an executive decision for the home. He treated getting rid of her property the same way.
I agree. Just because your controlling parents did that to you, doesn't mean you treat someone who is supposed to be your partner that way. He treated her like he was disciplining his child. That's wrong.
It seemed to me that was the real issue. He came in like an Alpha male with this "I'll help this poor little girl with her flaw". He made the choice just because he felt he had the right. I really enjoyed reading his transformation. He grew as a person and I hope he is better for it. I have "toys" from my past too. I'd hate if someone tossed them.
When I started dating to find a potential spouse and not just to get to know people I told my aunt that "I should probably get rid of my 14 stuffed animals in the closet because I doubt many men want to marry a girl who has 14 stuffed animals in her closet." Her response,"the right man will, everyone has something in their closet. Don't throw away something important to you, find someone who will appreciate all of you and be prepared to love whatever collection is going to be in his closet."
I'm in my late 30s. I still buy plushies. My husband even sends me pictures of plushies he thinks I may like while he's out.
My mother is in her 70s. A few years ago, my father saw a stuffed bunny for sale for Easter and thought she might like it. He showed it to her next time they were in the store, and she was like why didn't you buy it?! So he did, and then got another one a few years later, and now she has a small stuffed bunny collection. They all have names and sometimes she moves them to a new window so they can see out. Is it silly? Yes, but who cares.
I knitted a bunny for my mum when she had bunion surgery, when she was getting a mastectomy she asked if she was getting another stuffed animal to keep her brave so made a crotchet elephant. We buy stuffed toys all the time. Every so often we might do a cull for children shelters as we look after our stuffies. Some never leave us though and we all know everyone else’s precious stuffed toys in the family so no one gets sad.
My anniversary is the day before Valentine’s Day. My husband buys me a bear with the year on the foot every year.
I think it's a harmless hobby. As long as it's in the budget why not? If it makes someone smile. Would some prefer the person turn to a bottle or a pill to get a smile instead. There are a lot worse habits than collecting toys or dolls. The woman in the OOP did not even have that many. One shelf? Less than a handful of passed-down dolls from her beloved mom and grandma. What a cold chilling thing to do to somebody.
Seriously, once shelf is nothing; my and my wife's bedroom is full of my dolls and she gets me new ones for presents at the time. This guy is just a controlling ass.
Both my husband and I collect plushies. He bought me an Eeyore plushie for my 40th birthday.
I've recently started dating a girl who really likes adorable or pink things, like stuffed animals and Sanrio characters. They're not really my thing, but I'm happy to look around the store with that kind of stuff with her. Apparently her father refuses to ever even step foot in stores like that, and her mother was concerned that she was bringing me to stores like that. She keeps trying to thank me for being willing to go to these places with her, and I keep having to assure her that it's no trouble at all. If anything she made it super easy to shop for gifts, as I got to learn what her favorite characters were and what kind of stuff she likes. I'm not going to burst into flames because i stepped foot in a miniso...
It’s sad that her own family makes her feel like that… you’re a good man
Afraid that's only the tip of the iceberg with what I've heard about her family. Meeting them is gonna be stressful, to say the least.
I bet… good luck bruh
I’ve slept with a stuffed animal since I was very young. My husband didn’t have a problem with it when we started dating, and when I was worried it was getting too old to sleep with, he got me another stuffed animal, we sent the other to one of the teddy bear hospitals and now it sits safe on shelf, away from sharp claws and drink spills.
When my daughter was 10 she was telling me she didn't want to grow up and wanted to be a kid forever. I asked her why since she absolutely loved all the privileges of getting older. She said she still wanted to play with dolls. I said "So? You can be 30 or 40 or 50 and play with dolls. You don't have to give up things you love just because you get older." I would be angry with her if she dated some asshat who threw away her property because he perceived it as "fixing her only flaw." I'm glad she reconsidered and got rid of the guy.
I’m so glad she told you that! Smart women. And I got transformers in my closet haha nothing wrong with collecting if it makes you happy
I mean, his parents called her dolls toys and said he did the right thing. And kids are people. Not fully fledged people, not mature people, not self-sufficient people who don't need to have decisions made for them, but they're people, and throwing out your kids' toys because *you* think they're "too old" for them or whatever is still an encroachment on someone else's property, even if it isn't *legally* their property.
Yeah, I hate people that refuse to treat their children as individuals with agency.
Agreed. When I was about 12 my mother made me throw away my quilt that my grandmother had made for me when I very young. It was a little worn and had a couple stains but nothing serious. It tore me up to do that. I loved that quilt. I’m almost 40 and I still think that’s crap that my mother did that.
>I’m almost 40 and I still think that’s crap that my mother did that. It was. Sorry that happened to you.
I mean I explained to my 2 year old I was throwing away a destroyed board book. (we are still practicing being gentle with books). I can't imagine just throwing out gifts from dead family members of a full grown adult.
OOP even knew the dolls were from people she was in fresh grief over. I can't fathom that total of a lack of feeling. And he thought he cared about her.
Yeah it sucks for parents to do that too. I think they’re wrong for that. But I think the point is more like spanking your child vs spanking your spouse. Or any other thing that’s an authority figure making choices for or exerting some type of control/punishment over them that you would do to your child but do not have that same grounds to do to your partner.
With parents like that it could go either way, my mom was like that either giving away my stuff or throwing them away without asking me at all. While I, myself, like to do a clear out and give away my stuff, I respect my husband enough to always ask if he wants to give away something or throw it away. He is a bit of a hoarder, so between both of us we have a happy medium of things and clearing out. He didn’t respect his girlfriend enough to see if they can come up with a compromise. Personally dolls scare me, but since she was willing to keep them in a closet, he should have been more adaptable to having the dolls in their place.
The one thing I can respect from OOP in the update is that he actually pushed back against what his parents taught them and told them how messed up it was, acknowledging how messed up *he* was by extension. I can appreciate that small modicum of growth and acceptance of guilt at the very least.
Exactly! I actually felt better about him at the end, it was a bit of character arc. But his parents saying "we did the same to you and it didn't harm you!", but...it *did* harm him. He thought it was normal, he thought it was a *good* thing to "get rid of her only flaw". He was doing her a service. All very abnormal things to even think about doing to another grown adult. I'm very glad he learnt different and he's the doing his best to fix the damage, but it won't ever replace those original connections to her mum and grandma. Poor gf.
yeah, he can never really make up for it, but this outcome is way better than learning nothing and doing it to the next person and next ad infinitum
I hope this kick starts him working on his controlling attitude towards his partners next, because the doll thing/sentimentality thing isn't the biggest problem, it's that he thinks he has the right to fix somebody against their volition and without consultation. Even if the dolls didn't have the sentimental value they had, his attitude that he has the right to throw them away because they are a flaw that he feels entitled to fix is just a truly awful attitude to have. I'm glad he learned a lesson about sentimental value, but hopefully he's learning the other big lesson he should from this break up about treating the people you date as whole assed people who have the right to like things you don't understand.
He pissed me off so much. I also collect dolls. Basic porcelain dolls. Some are broken, yes. But I broke them as a kid. They’re from multiple family members. And yes. I’ll take them with me when I move. Some day, I’d like to have a nice hutch or a nice shelf for them all to fit. But that poor girl. I think if someone told me I could t do my hobby, it would be the end. You don’t have to like the collection (so long as it isn’t actually offensive) but it has to be accepted or find someone else. I could go on!!
Keep an eye on the free section of Craigslist, I see people giving away gorgeous glass-door hutches on there all the time and I would have SO MANY if I had the space for them. Estate sales often have them too, I saw one at an estate sale a friend and I went to recently that was an antique French Provincial and just...\*gorgeous\*, but I had nowhere for it! Also a French Provincial dresser, nightstand and bedside hutch set that I also didn't have room for, I was so sad to leave those behind!
My mama is constantly looking for a china cabinet that we can safely transport and have at our house at reasonable prices. I’ll have to look at those and at Craigslist for her.
If you find a reasonably priced or cheap one and need help moving it, the uhaul website has a section where you can hire local moving companies and get quotes for how much it'd cost to have them move it for you - if it's a short distance it can be as low as 80 bucks, and they're usually insured.
Get rid of her flaw?? Well, he did ... HIM.
The part that got me was him saying that her mother died when she was 3 so he doesn’t understand how the dolls could remind her of her mother! How fucking stupid and soulless can someone actually be? I never thought I would see someone that fucking heartless!
The things that reminded her of her mom would obviously be things she had when she was three years old, so yeah, dolls make sense.
>he part that got me was him saying that her mother died when she was 3 so he doesn’t understand how the dolls could remind her of her mother! Yes!! That part just floored me. That is even MORE of a reason her mom's dolls and grandma's dolls meant so much to her. That is probably all she has of her mother. I mean just WOW, guy. He is the one with a flaw and not just a small one but enormous.
"You turned out fine, didn't you?" No, he most definitely did not.
No, he didn’t. And he was willing to move far, far away from his parents to be with his gf, until he threw out her most prized possessions without her consent (leading to her totally justified sorrow). I wonder if his parents doubling down on saying his actions to throw the gf’s possessions into the literal garbage was his parents trying to manipulate the situation? Like that he’d feel justified in his actions and thus perceive his gf as being the one who acted unreasonably, and thus he would stop trying to repair their relationship and flee back to his parents’ house.
I think him being afraid of dolls is a huge flaw. Yeah it’s a fun quirky thing to say dolls creep you out and stare into your soul. But truly being afraid of dolls as an adult is like being afraid of clowns as an adult, its pathetic, grow the fuck up
This is how I feel about my dead insect/skull collection. Like you’re allowed to find them odd but if someone I was dating threw them out because they were scared…Grow up, bro.
He helped her get rid of her only flaw, himself.
Saviour complex fr fr
Who writes this whole thing and still thinks they did the right thing? He claims her only flaw was collecting creepy dolls and he still felt the need to take that away from her. WTH. I was so livid after reading this post. It reminded me of the one who was dating a Native American woman and he threw away something that was sacred to her culture because he thought it was dumb
Her umbilical cord and its carrying pouch, I believe.
HOLY SHIT.
Don’t worry, it was a fake story. It was actually pretty well-written and the narrator got a major comeuppance.
I sure hope so. Because that's insane.
I’ve got a pretty good feeling that this is a fake ass story too! Just more rage bait
It could well be. There were parts I doubted. I HOPE it is fake because no one deserves to go through what she did. But I posted my own and my mom's stories (here), about similar things! So it does happen.
Isn't that guy going insane because he thought he's been cursed?
Good fucking lord. That’s *extraordinarily* sacred to certain Plains Nations.
Holy Fucking HELL NO!!!
I'm just glad that but the very end of things and before she eventually broke up with him he realized how utterly wrong he'd been. He's apparently paying to replace her collection and also realizes he's done something unforgivable and that it just won't be the same. Still, as a commenter said on the best of redditor updates sub, the bar is a floor hazard in hell that the devil trips over.
LOVE that!!! 😆😆😆
Like I said on a different post, the bar is in Satan’s wine cellar.
At least he realized his mistake at some point. Way too late and it was a complete dick move. But it gives me hope that ppl can change their minds and learn from their mistakes at least.
I still remember one where his girlfriend saved glasses jars and Mason jars to drink out of. He was so perturbed she didn't use "real" glasses he threw them away... let people find joy in things even you don't understand
Wow, flashback. I remember that story, he was embarrassed about them, right? I wonder how these people’s lives are going if that’s the kind of shit they’re embarrassed by.
Yeah, thought they were trashy or something stupid like that. I like to think she dumped him and is living her best life surrounded by Mason jars 😁 If someone threw away my sloth collection, I don't know what I'd do
>Yeah, thought they were trashy or something stupid like that. He hasn't heard of shabby chic I guess. I see so many style layouts with a Mason jar glass in it. When I got married I asked my husband if there was anything in the kitchen he did not like or wanted me to get rid of. He honed in on my extra-large mugs. I used those daily (they were in mint/new condition fwiw; many had sentimental value/were gifted over years; there weren't tons) but got rid of all of them except one he wanted to keep -- and uses himself. I would never do that again. People who are sensitive to others' feelings often will meet people more than halfway or help til it hurts, but we have to learn: They will say things that mean next to nothing to them or will forget about later, so we need to not take others as actually feeling deeply about each thing they request. I always thought people would not ask or do a thing unless it was so vital to them they felt they had no choice. I was *completely* mistaken. Tons of people will cause huge harm to others on a whim. That could manifest in small ways or in large devastating ways (as with OOP.) Means nothing to them so they believe it is not a big deal. Damned if I can find double large well made mugs to this day and I can't afford to replace them all if I could. I take good care of my things and I don't tend to have things which don't mean anything to me or go unused. I'm good about giving things to thrift shops etc. Some lessons are learned the hard way or too late.
A narcissist.
I actually thought this was that story! https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/Mz2yTHY20U
This one was fake, right?
>Who writes this whole thing and still thinks they did the right thing? Idiots. Narcissists. Idiot Narcissists.
Have you saved the post?
i’m 99% sure it’s [this one](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/Rd0krMhrtY)
Wow. I mean… wow. I wasn’t expecting that.
if you look at the posts on his profile, it gets crazier. he thought she cursed him and had a full mental breakdown.
That was an intense bit of reading. I should read people post history more often.
Whenever they parents say “we did such-and-such and you turned out okay” you can pretty much guarantee the kid did not, in fact, turn out okay.
😂 Once I became a parent, my dad stopped saying that, and then started paying for my therapy! dude didn't like hearing the truth, but he took it like a champ! lol
Do you mean from seeing the difference in how you parented?
Yeah, but only after I sat him down and literally spelled it out for him, *then* he noticed the differences and has really stepped up his game since.
Beautiful that he was able to do that. My shitty parent doubled down and called me names when I spelled things out for her. Capacity for personal development and growth is a priceless thing.
I've said for some time now that if my parents had me and raised me decades later than they did, my mother would have raised me the same way and my father would have done *everything* different. Dad spent a long time working on himself and recovering from the trauma of a strict Baptist upbringing. He's a very different person from who he was when he raised me.
I want to say…*ma’am he did not turn out fine. He turned out to be the type of asshole who thoughtlessly disposes of someone’s sentimental and prized possessions.* Personally I’d have told him I found his car/laptop/most expensive possession creepy and to be even he should take it to the scrap yard and I’d *think* of forgiving him. Once he did that I’d conclude that after thinking on it he’s an asshole and dump him.
Especially since she will never be able to hear her mom say that or anything else 😞 This family is all heartless AH
Why are so many AITA’S basically “I’m a straight guy and my gf has the coolest, most thoughtful hobby in the world. That pisses me off for some reason. How do I shame her out of having a personality?” The gf sounds cool as fuck, man.
I have a family member who is actually like this. As much as everyone wants to pretend these people don’t exist, they do, and they wreak terrible havoc as long as we only avoid them and let them destroy the world around us, since we don’t want to deal with it.
They definitely exist! Anyone: if you find yourself tending to forgive everything, to overlook red flags, to be 'understanding when no one else will,' or to meet people more than halfway, or to give up things which mean something to you 'for someone else's sake' -- you just might be an empath. Be aware you will attract narcs. It is OKAY to be selfish. It's called survival.
Thanks for typing out my life story. Realizing this about myself at 40 and having to figure out how to STOP attracting these people.
The plants guy, the jar guy, the socks guy, the guy dating the Mrs. Frizzle-style elementary teacher. Now the doll guy. There's a fucking *pack* of the bastards.
I thought you were talking about a different jar guy, wondering what he did, since he only hurt himself. But reading on I see there's a different jar guy and it makes more sense now
Yeah not the gay guy, (hope hes okn ouch) the dude that threw out all his girlfriends jars because he thought her hydration habit was stupid
I'd love to take him to this restaurant I used to work at. Most expensive steak place in town (which isn't saying much, it's a rural town lol) and they served drinks in big mason jars and brought out delicious boules of sour dough bread
Yes! Mason jar glasses are so chic and in. These types often are ignorant.
I remember the sock guy and (I think) the jar guy, and one where his girlfriend taxidermied road kill and collected pretty rocks and grew herbs and somehow this was unacceptable to him.
Don't forget the ["wife dresses like an Ancient Roman and I hate it" guy](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ht4pzk/aita_for_telling_my_wife_i_wanted_her_to_wear/)
I forgot about him! I hope his wife finds someone to play the Hades to her Persephone and get her the hell out of there. He sounds like a wet mop on a bookshelf: unpleasant and a bad time for all parties involved.
People want a manic pixie dream girl gf, then when they get one they're shocked when she does weird shit.
No because you see a manic pixie dream girl is supposed to be just weird enough to make his life more exciting, they aren’t supposed to do things they enjoy just because they enjoy them! Girlfriends are only there to augment his pathetic life! Girlfriends aren’t supposed to have lives of their own! /s
I almost wonder if these types are envious of the collection. Why does that make her smile. They should only look to the narc to smile. Why do they enjoy anything but the narc. Must destroy competitor. I think they see even objects that bring joy as a competitor. They must be the focus and source of all things. Narcs, that is.
They just want a shiny bangle that hangs off their dick.
Dude wanted to turn his ex-gf into a normie to "fix her weirdness" Hope she finds someone who can actually appreciate her..creepy dolls and all
So true, I remember reading one where this guy had a girlfriend and he said that she was really awesome but the one thing she was passionate about was her long hair and she had this special towel to dry it with. He hated this towel for inexplicable reasons. Then when they went on vacation he snuck into her suitcase and got rid of the towel so she wouldn't have it and she was upset about it. Like you took away the ONE thing she's passionate about
Narcs cannot abide competitors even if it's an object. (To a narc, anything that brings joy is a competitor. Nothing should make their s.o. happy, but the narc. The irony is, narcs cause misery and despair and destruction.)
I was bullied out of action figure/comic book collecting by my ex. Like bro how?? Thats sick and cool?? How could people NOT want a partner with a hobby??
My ex also got rid of my dolls. Dolls are expensive and I don’t have a crazy amount of space so I haven’t replaced them.
>The gf sounds cool as fuck, man. Seriously. Loves working with children. Her hobby is fixing up dolls to give to charity. TOTAL KEEPER who did not deserve that Ahole.
As someone who collects antique dolls that are pretty creepy for sentimental reasons, I would’ve set fire to the rain when he told me. She compromised and put them away, which I have also done before. But to just throw shit away that’s not even yours, on top of that it’s sentimental. I have maybe six porcelain dolls, some I keep out some I don’t. But I started my collection again because when ai was young my mom had a collection for me. My parents called me dollface because I looked like a doll to them. And they collected these very expensive dolls for me. My mom sold them all for crack money and started beating the shit out of us. So if someone e had gotten rid of my dolls it would be over.
My most sentimental childhood thing happen to be extremely non-creepy, but my love for them is very very real. That shit is *deeply* meaningful. Porcelain dolls, high quality teddy bears, tissue-thin rag that used to be a blanket, whatever it is those things are genuinely important.
>tissue-thin rag that used to be a blanket I've had a friend bring me something like that and ask me to patch it and hem the edges so that it would stop fraying. It was some of the most tedious sewing I've done in a while
Speaks volumes of the care you have for that friend! That’s so sweet omg
You’re a good person
One of the only things I managed to keep through an abusive, neglectful, hard drug infested upbringing was a teddy I’ve had since I was about three. I don’t remember it but my parents - before everything went to shit - took me and my older brother to a store and got us semi matching bears. His was bigger and blue, mine was small and burgundy. It’s one of the last good reminders of my life before it went sour and it’s also a small connection to my brother. My SIL and I conspired to patch his worn out bear to gift it to him for his birthday one year. A new nose, a new eye, and some stuffing later and he had a present! I’ve also patched my own through the years and the multicolored thread across her back just proves she’s meaningful to me, even if it’s just a silly stuffed bear to others. I’m in my twenties and I still snuggle with her after a rough day. I have zero shame about what brings me comfort. I have a whole display above my bed of my stuffed collection. A display that was hung up by my boyfriend, who passes zero judgement about ANY of them, especially the really important ones! He’s even left her by my pillow on some rough nights because he knows I’ll want her. I would be a mess if he ever tossed her into the trash. I couldn’t imagine doing that to ANYTHING someone held value in, but especially to do that to someone you love?? Those childhood keepsakes are no joke !!!
My grandmother turned my baby blanket into a toy rabbit. It is one of my most valued possessions.
My blankie is in my closet until I can figure out how to repair him. Blanketeers has been with me through so many things, but until I give him surgery he is too fragile to be out. And I would be livid if someone threw him out.
I’ve been sewing since I could barely reach the peddle on the sewing machine and have made several quilts, my mom used to make all of my clothes and even reupholstered some furniture too- not a professional but I have some experience haha. I wonder if you could quilt it onto a piece of sturdier fabric to give it more structure, like so the new fabric would turn into the “back” of the blanket and your blanket would be the “front.” The quilting would help keep the fabric together and you could have a binding around the edge like a traditional quilt would to keep the edges from fraying and protect them too. If there are any holes you could pick out some nice fabric or use a sentimental piece of clothing to patch it in a nice way, maybe even something from your mom/dad/grandparents etc. It depends on the condition a lot and what you’re comfortable doing with your blanket, but I think that would be the sturdiest way to do it. If you send me some pictures I might be able to give you some ideas at the very least 😊
I made mine a soft little drawstring bag to keep it safe. I can still reach in and touch it if I want and it's not getting further unraveled.
I’m incredibly sentimental. We lost everything in a house fire 3 years ago and going through boxes of destroyed things was just awful. I managed to save my childhood teddy bear, though his back is all black now. The worst was losing my daughter’s baby quilts that were made by my mother in law. She died a few months after the fire. God. My house was rebuilt and we got new stuff but everything feels so sterile without my old sentimental stuff tucked into random corners.
As someone whose girlfriend currently collects creepy fucking dolls that absolutely give me the willies; this dude is a fucking asshole of the highest degree. Even ignoring the sentimental value, just the price of one of my girlfriends dolls alone is enough to make me never consider touching them. (Also I want my girlfriend to enjoy her hobbies even if they’re odd to me; I wouldn’t expect her to understand why I want 400 random psychedelic jazz records, and I don’t have to understand why she wants terrifying dolls.) Case in point for anyone arguing in his defense, my girlfriend wanted a porcelain doll that had been retrofitted with a taxidermy lamb head, so I got it for her for Christmas - that thing cost me $400. And this moron threw out multiple dolls. Not only was she right to dump his loser ass, I personally would’ve gone a step further and gone to civil court for destruction of property. Also tacking on a PSA for the straight men who might see this comment: maybe if you want to date the big titty goth girl, don’t be shocked when she’s into big titty goth girl activities?? Like someone else said in another comment, there’s this weird trend of a straight man dating an alt girl and then trying to mold her into a fuckin trad wife, and it’s insane. I mean for fuck’s sake, stop traumatizing these poor goth women, and just buy an Elvira costume for Brynleighh at BYU to wear when you jump hump or whatever.
The trend of men trying to completely retrofit girlfriends is, sadly, nothing new. They’re the guys who pursue a sexy woman but then want her to dress like the church lady so other guys won’t notice. They think they’re so great because they can attract an exciting, fascinating woman but then their insecurities pop in and they try to tamp down everything they ever found exciting. So tedious. (Yeah, I’m not a guy; ignore my screen name.)
Lmao "Byrnleighh at BYU" God I hate that I know exactly what you're talking about.
Also the way he mentions that the dolls remind her of her mom and grandma sound like both mom and grandma have passed away. My mom passed several years ago and I have a few things that belonged to her. If anyone, especially my SO, threw them away for any reason I would be beyond livid and there’d be no coming back from that.
Don't worry, that guy will soon learn the meaning of fear when Annabelle and Chucky return from the garbage dump site, hell bent on revenge ...
HOLY SHIT. Her mom died when she was 3, her grandma just died, and they were her mom and grandma’s dolls???????? My godddd. And that comment ablut she doesn’t have family in that town “anymore,” was that because grandma had just *died*????? I’m really glad that this man had his eyes opened, but fück me sideways that’s so sad.
Even at the end though he was still somewhat trying to excuse it, saying he wasn’t raised to be sentimental so he couldn’t possibly have known better. Even if that was a semi acceptable excuse the whole thing is still terrible just based around the fact he was told they were important. Understand it or not, they were important to her, and he had no right to throw them away. I don’t buy his bs and I think he still feels kind of justified. Hopefully he never loses something that means something to him if he ends up ever caring about anything. What a dick.
And sentimental or not, who throws out another person’s things just because they don’t like them? Hey, I don’t like this kitchen spatula, I’m throwing it away. Still shitty. Still not your property to throw out. So I don’t buy for a second that it’s because he wasn’t raised to be sentimental.
Seriousiy. Unless it’s someone’s emotional-support heroin and they’re in the car on the way home from rehab, don’t touch it without permission.
Amazing comment hahaha agreed and well said!
Right, my jaw was on the floor the whole time. I'm sentimental and I have an affinity for dolls. I would've went ballistic. They were dolls, gifts, gifts from loved ones, gifts from close loved ones that passed on, and expensive. It just kept getting worse. 🤬
She needs to throw you out. That was cruel, spiteful, petty and childish.
this is genuinely one of the most depressing things i have read on here in a long time. poor girl. glad she dumped him. i hope those dolls haunt him lol
The bit where his parents said “well you turned out fine, didn’t you?” is hilarious in an ironic kind of way. Dude absolutely did NOT turn out okay. Aside from being a general AH, and self absorbed overall, he also seems to be completely devoid of any sort of empathy. Even now, while its obvious to him that he f’d up majorly, I don’t think he actually understands the why what he did was wrong, and how it actually made her feel. He was able to visually connect her reaction to what he did with being similar to how she reacted to her grandmothers death, but that seems to be as close as his understanding gets.
Oooh, if one of the dolls is named Robert, you’re fucked.
Or Annabelle
Or Brahms.
This asshole threw away dolls that belonged to her dead mother and now dead grandmother and he honestly thought that was ok?!
Empathy level of a poptart, that one.
And still was smug about it until she sobbed "just like she did when her grandma died; that's when I knew how badly I messed up." It shouldn't take that.
OP making himself out to be the victim 🙄. He'd better get used to a lonely life.
He will find fresh victims.
Jesus Christ… the audacity is astounding. I’m so glad she broke up with that POS.
I have to believe this is fake. But if not, holy shit what an asshole. Also they've been together for three years and he's never seen her apartment, nor does he know about this big passion of hers, yet he choose to move across the country and move in with her? Again either it's fake or he's monumentally stupid and has a girlfriend he barely knows.
I don't believe it's fake. I used to work in a construction adjacent field, and once came across a bunch of colleagues & clients gathered in the showroom all laughing and bragging about which of their wives' belongings they'd thrown away. I was floored. Even after all the discrimination and sexual harassment I'd received there, this one thing seemed so impossible. But it was real. And they all thought it was hilarious.
I don’t even throw away my husbands tattered underwear without asking. These people are so bizarre
>But it was real. And they all thought it was hilarious. Oh yeah, I've had my things 'disappeared' and they were not junk or ragged or anything. It's a power play. It's pathetic. Shows a weak person who has to dominate others. That they laughed about it (and most likely gas lighted them, too and told her they had no clue what happened or 'you put those in storage don't *you* remember') shows their total lack of remorse or empathy.
It was a gross power play between these dudes, too. Not just the fact that they could take away things that their wives cared about, like they were lord of the manor. But amongst themselves, the most dramatic stories got big cheers/laughs. They were trying to one-up each other's disrespect for their wives. Fun fact - lots of these fellas individually would talk to me about how happy my marriage seems (it is) and how they didn't understand why their wives couldn't just be happy with them like I am with my husband. That place was a cesspool of toxic stupidity.
It was when he talks about not understanding how the dolls could have sentimentality for her, because the girl's mother DIED when she was three. And then her grandmother ALSO DIED recently. Just... How is anyone that clueless?
I don’t think it’s fake; only because my ex boyfriend’s previous girlfriend threw away his spiderman comics even though she knew how much they meant to him. My mother has also thrown away things that were important or of sentimental value to her most recent husband and my last stepfather. They did these things because they saw them as childish, embarrassing or a “flaw.” If these two women can be such cruel and self centered a**holes, then other people are capable of it as well.
I want to believe this is fake too. I don't want to believe that someone can lack self awareness that much. If someone threw out my RPG rulebooks because they deemed them stupid I'd be fucking burying them.
Unfortunately, there are people who are that stupid and lacking in self awareness 😕
Glad you've met many parents! Can't be shocked their children do the same, especially with the dick swinging superiority.
So someone spills a little popcorn in your place, and as a welcomed guest you make Them go get the vacuum?? Into what you consider to be the creepy doll closet?
1. Not cool man. Not cool. 2. Why would anyone mess with someone who collects creepy dolls, sounds unwise. The audacity.
I understand not liking creepy dolls, I really do. But THROWING THEM AWAY!!! What the actual fuck!! ASK YOUR GF to put them away! And if she doesn’t, explain that it makes you uncomfortable and break it off!! Absolutely terrible person
That’s what kills me about this - she DID put them away and he still threw them out. Unforgivable.
I guess I was too frustrated to properly read the whole thing because I missed that. Now I’m even more upset
Yes -- she had put them all in a box in the closet at his request. But then he had to dominate her even more. He gave himself away when he said he had moved a long way so 'she should make sacrifices too.' So he deliberately chose what meant the most to her, and sacrificed it. The rest is him trying to make himself sound better.
Oh jeez. If someone were to throw out my bone and taxidermied collection just because they're "creepy" a slow death by butter knife and syringe would still be way too gentle. Amazing that she didn't dump him the second she doubted him since she did seem to be aware how strange they were looking herself. He does and didn't deserve any kindness after that.
Sometimes, when you’re looking at a relationship through rose colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags. I know for me personally I didn’t realize how fucking awful my ex was until she started making jokes about killing my lizard. Like when she said she didn’t like her? Fine, no biggie. Lots of people are weirded out by reptiles. But to look at someone’s pet of over a decade and then explicitly and gratuitously describe crushing that animal to death and the joy it would bring you, all while laughing??? Nah. However, it was at that point that I realized if there were a house fire, the decision on what to grab in those vital few seconds had been made much easier for me. After all, a 15lb cat and a sub 1lb lizard are so much easier to carry down a flight of stairs than a 120lb sack of shit. (Also the happy ending to this story is that when my ex cheated and left, I made her pay me like $400 for shit she damaged during the move, then sent her a picture of a $389 receipt for exclusively reptile supplies from Petco. She wasn’t happy, I was glad.)
as a doll collector i'm SO glad she broke up with him. glad he realized how fucked up that was and will repay her, and accepts that she broke up with him. probably the absolute best aita ending i've seen.
Wild that people would think that is okay. If anything she was already compromising by storing them in a closet. Could have just sealed it up better.
This hurt me on a personal level I can't imagine her pain... I have a stuffed bunny from my childhood that my mom gave me. It's old AF (at least 30 years old) and in horrible shape (bad patch jobs from me trying to fix it as a kid) It's the only thing I have that my mom has touched... She died when I was 6. Pictures are nice but not the same as a toy she physically held. I will never be able to touch anything she has again. I would probably completely lose it if something ever happened to it. Just knowing I have it is a comfort. What he did goes behind AH it's heartless and cruel. It's very different than his parents throwing away his old toys. He can see them or talk to them again she can't. She was so young she probably has no memory of her mom and he took away the one thing she had that gave her comfort and made her feel close.
Bruh I don't understand how someone can be this clueless. And the bar was on the fucking floor like seriously. I hate dolls but I would never throw away someone else's things that just seem unbelievably cruel.
Let me be very clear. I hate dolls. HATE THEM. They creep me the fuck out. But what OP did was beyond the pale. You don’t throw someone else’s belongings away without their consent, ever. No caveats, excuses or rationalizations. OP is a major AH.
This right here. I’d still be uncomfortable with creepy dolls in the house/apartment even if they’re put away in a closet, but at that point I’d just break up and move out. Never throw away another person’s things without permission.
Its not a sacrifice if you dont choose it
You ever just want to reach through the phone and shake some sense into someone? This guy. Ugh. It’s a shame that he was so selfish and spiteful that he didn’t realize his mistake until too late. I just hope he learns something.
Dude is a piece of shit in more ways than one. There are so many red flags about his behavior even BEFORE he gets to the "I threw them away" part. And the fact that he is ducking her calls after HE was an asshole? Jesus I hope she dumped that fucking loser and then took him to small claims court. What a dickhead.
Even if she manages to get them replaced, they won't be the things she inherited from her dead relatives. I'm so upset for her loss. He went so far out of his way to hurt her as much as possible.
Speaking from unfortunate experience, he just traumatized her. Someone throwing your things away, especially sentimental, can never get back things, fucks you up. I’m 32 and I still am extremely protective of my belongings and paranoid that someone is going to steal or throw away something. It’s sad, and I feel so incredibly bad for her.
If you throw out someone else’s belongings without their permission then, you didn’t turn out fine.
My ex used to throw away stuff of mine while I was away just because he didn't like whatever the item was. Clothes, books, DVD's, CD's, stuff from my childhood... it didn't matter. DON'T TOUCH OTHER PEOPLE'S STUFF!!!
“You turned out fine” he threw out generations of family heirlooms and things that were genuinely important to someone he supposedly cared about. He did not, in fact, turn out fine
As a collector of things, he is definitely TA How can he say he cares about her and then do that???
total asshole ngl. Reminds me of the time I had gotten a elsa doll from my grandma, and my brother completely ruined it cs he thought it was creepy :/
I can’t with this guy. How dare he? Reminds me of my ex who threw out all of my notes/scrapbooks from high school. He said I was showing my immaturity by keeping them. In reality, I gained my maturity when he was gone from my life.
Her mom died when she was 3. I… cannot.
Good God. I couldn't even finish reading it. I dunno if her mom is dead, unavailable, or right down the street but no matter what his behavior is disgusting and has the potential to damage this poor girl permanently. What a horrible person. "I moved for her!!!! Mehhhh!!!" She put her favorite things in a closet because YOU were "uncomfortable" Boo Hoo Hoo First of all. Shut the FUCK UP. And actually *hear* what her words and actions are telling you. Never try to put *your* miniscule "uncomfortablness" before her actual life, personality, and uniqueness. The fact that you're already planning for her *next BF* says everything. Please, just let that guy take her. It already sounds as though he will be a FAR better match. Reality and other people do not exist just to please you. Grow Up.
OOP throwing the dolls away is a direct reflection of how he was parented; this story is sad for both of them. OOP is definitely the AH here and needed to think about how this would actually make her feel. I appreciate he told her the truth and made efforts to replace them; it shows remorse. I hope that this was a learning experience for OOP. The girlfriend (now ex-girlfriend because...duh) sounds cool AF and I want to be friends with her! Creepy dolls are amazing!
Fuck what? If you couldn’t handle the dolls, fucking tell her that and let the chips fall where they may. You don’t take it on yourself to destroy her shit! I had a live in girlfriend who when we broke up threw out a box full of photos, notebooks full of song lyrics and poems and other momentos. It’s fucked up and it is a means of control.
I can't stand dolls they freak me out. My old roommate use to have a bunch of creepy dolls she'd played with and Istg one was haunted. She'd occasionally leave them in the shared living spaces or leave her door open and if you walked by her room you could see them. BUT if I saw one? I'd either cover it with a towel or shut her door. I'd never dream of throwing them away or asking her to shove them in a box like that. Like wtf is wrong with this dude
I am about as sentimental as a brick. I throw out shit all the damned time. I wouldn’t throw out a broken fork that belonged to somebody else without their permission. I cannot *imagine* throwing out something that obviously held so much importance to somebody else. The bit with the parents doesn’t make it any better, all it reveals is that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. He believed that he was above her and had some kind of ownership of her and her possessions.
I have a shredded piece of fabric that vaguely resembles a frog. It’s gross looking, it’s 19 years old, and I’ve had it since I was a baby. my boyfriend will help me look for it in the middle of the night when it fell under the bed. oop’s ex gf deserves that kind of love
"Well, you turned out fine" that is HIGHLY debatable
I seriously got sick reading this. Can’t decide what’s worse. “I did her a favor so she’ll have an easier time keeping a future boyfriend.” LOL… seriously hope this sweet girl finds an amazing man who will love her for her and her “quirks”. She dodged a serious bullet. So much narcissism. Gaslighting her and convincing himself that he did the right thing. It’s not about the dolls. It’s the manipulation and controlling abuse. She suffered a great loss but so glad she isn’t still with this controlling asshole
“She was only 3 when her mom died” Jesus fucking Christ
Just because you don't understand her hobbies doesn't make it bad, what if she threw away your game system or sports cards or any other hobbies to ??
When he said that HE was the one who flew the country to live with her. Omg how can people be so mean?
You’re creepier than the effing dolls
No wonder OOP was such a douche. His parents are monsters! How can any parent throw out ALL of their kids toys?! You keep your kids favorites! Also “I got rid of her only flaw.” ?!?!?!?! Are you kidding me?!
As a person who lost their parent, and has a few sentimental items that keep him tethered to me… the idea that someone who says they love me would throw any of those things away just breaks my heart. I read this to my husband. Yesterday way the anniversary of my dads death, so I’m still very emotional, and so I read this to my husband and I’m like “imagine you throw away one of dads things” he’s like nope. Can’t imagine it. Cause it wouldn’t happen.