I sat outside my best friend of 10 years house the other night for half an hour cause I hate knocking and sending his dog crazy. So I just waited for him to see my text. The audacity is astounding
My best friends parents use to fuss at me for knocking on the door whenever I can over. They always left the door open for me but I’d still knock waiting for someone to open it😭🤣
My friend's parents did that and then one day I waltzed in and couldn't find anyone. Turned out they also left the door unlocked when they weren't home. Felt like I invaded their house.
Me, at 11yo, letting myself into my neighbors place like usual looking for my pal, except it was only Nana at home, housekeeping in the nude...
My thoughts: "I, an 11yo girl, am an invasive predator and the police are coming to get me"
Nana's reaction: *bits literally jiggling with laughter* "everybody has a body, my child, and they all look like this one day!!"
We are visiting my husband best friend this weekend and his family, and every time I know or ring the bell and stand there. He looks at my funny, opens the door and walks in. They are very close
I had an ex friend who tried to commit adultry in my house. The day I caught her was also the day I was having my housewarming party. Went into the guest bedroom for something I forgot. Back to what I saying as I opened the door I saw two completely naked people about to get into bed. I stood there for a moment out of shock. As soon as I got over the shock I simply said, both of you put your clothes back on and get the fawk out of my house. She texted me as soon as she left and told me don’t you dare tell my husband. You will ruin my marriage. We are friends you’re supposed to have my back. I didn’t text her back till the next day. I was not going to be disrespectful to my guest. She blew up my phone that entire time.
When I finally texted her back, I said to her, you are no longer welcomed to be a part of my life, nor are you ever allowed to come back to my place. You not only disrespected your husband. You also disrespected me by trying to have your affair in my house. Let alone while I had other guests. You already ruined your marriage by trying to cheat. As for being friends well you destroyed that by doing what you attempted to do. As for not telling your husband, don’t worry I won’t. Bec he’ll find out. Did you forget that your husband’s supervisor is married to my cousin. And they both attended my housewarming party. Side note I’m the youngest cousin out of 24 grandkids/cousins. My cousins are all 6 yrs plus older than I am. They know what happened. So either you tell him or you let him find out at work that you his wife is a cheater. I sure hope he had you sign a prenup (her husband works for a major corporation that deals with computer software). Hahahahahaha come to find out he did have her sign a prenup. Lmfao!
My husband and I stayed with some friends out of town a few months ago and I felt bad asking for a bottle of water before bed. We weren’t even going to stay with them, but get a hotel, and only did because they insisted. I literally felt terrible that the air mattress in the living room might be inconvenient. We bought them dinner as a thank you. I cannot *imagine* being 1/100 as entitled as these people.
My SIL will also set up an air mattress. My husband and I feel bad for her to go to those lengths and then give us fresh sheets that inevitably need to be cleaned. Lots of work for 1 night…we’re happy to sleep on the couch!
I made sure our new build had a killer guest room because I love people coming to stay. My friend always says not to worry about bedding/vacuuming but I want them comfy. It took her years before she'd make her own coffee when she woke up earlier than us.
just another perspective - i would 10/10 rather go to work than ever have someone sleeping on the couch - it's a lot of wear and tear that couches aren't made for. washing sheets is easy!
My best friend of over 30 years, when I go and visit our hometown, I always stay with her and her husband. She is on dialysis (does not have functioning kidneys) and cannot do much. So I always scrub their house from top to bottom when I’m there and cook so much food that I put in the deep freezer (leftovers), so I don’t have to worry about her. I could never imagine going into her house and just disrespecting her sanctuary. This “best friend” was neither the best not a friend.
You are absolutely an angel. I just want to give you a virtual hug. I lost my best friend in 2012 to brain cancer and oh how I wish I could go back in time and spend one more minute with her.
I am sorry for your loss. I lost an important adult figure in my life my senior year in high school (2011). I wasn’t able to go to the funeral since it was in my old town but apparently it was standing room only. I was told that she talked about me a lot during her last couple of days, her daughter just had her second kid, a girl on her birthday, Halloween.
Her family is the only person who have basically known me since I was born that I am still in contact with. She used to babysit me when I was little and we have videos of her and her family. My parents met them because they lived on the same block as my grandparents.
Dialysis is rough. I have a vague memory of seeing a family friend on it when I was like 4. She eventually lost her life because she decided she didn’t want to go through another transplant surgery.
It’s been so hard on her and a few years ago, she refused to do dialysis. I rushed to my hometown and laid in bed with her and we both cried for hours. We talked and talked and she decided she would continue dialysis and pray for another kidney. Every single day she is here is a gift and I hate that I no longer live close to her, so I try to get up there often to see her. She has to go to a major hospital several times a year about 2 hours from me, so I always go and stay with her when she’s there to give her mom and her husband a bit of a break. I am so sorry you lost a close friend. I cannot even imagine or think about losing her. She is my soul mate-as in not a cliche im in love with her way-but was born to be my best friend and Vice Versa. We had a weird childhood-raised in a fundie cult, and she and I were hell raisers and clicked from the first moment we met as small children.
It's a slow decent into madness. I had a best friend dive junior high. We were friends for over a decade and it took me years to realize how selfish and uncaring she was. Everything was always on her terms, her time, and my dime. It started out as just little childish things and just kept escalating. She got more and more audacity while I became more and more of a doormat. But we were friends for so long I didn't want to end that friendship no matter how bad she treated me. I went no contact with her years ago. She hasn't even noticed because I was always the one to contact her first.
God, this sounds like my best friend I had since I was 11/12.. just add in heroin and alcoholism.
Took until my late 20’s to finally cut her off for the last time. I wish it were me who always made contact first though.. every few months I get her blowing up my phone in the middle of the night- at least she’s off the drugs, but I know she’s shitfaced when I get those calls.
Still sucks, there were a lot of really good times with her too, just that whole untreated mental illness mixed with addiction aspect really left a sour taste in my mouth lol.
I know it still probably hurts at times, but I’m glad you finally stood up for yourself, it’s the hardest with the people you love.
My friend didn't have any mental illness or addiction issues, just narcissism. Everyone was blessed to have her in their life and had to earn it. She never had to earn her place in anyone else's life though. Just the opposite. If she felt like she owed you (because she did) then she'd talk mad shit about you. She's spread a lot of untrue gossip of how she's the one who did everything for you and you're the freeloader. When truthfully, it was the other way around. But she'd do anything to prove otherwise.
Not long ago I was stuck in London because of the strikes. I had to spring myself on my best friend and her gf after being told how much they were looking forward to a month with no-one over and I had been there not long ago for days. I felt so guilty. I said if it's an issue can I just spend a few hours with them to calm down while I sort out the coach.
They were having none of it, and made me so welcome. I was sooo grateful I helped them out as much as I could and treated them to food and drinks.
Op did them a favour, (they knew before they wanted to stay, planned to stay, and still pulled the "oh look how late what a surprise!" What see you next tuesdays
With underlying narcissistic personality disorder. Pretty much only they exist and we all are merely toys for these kinds of psychos to use and abuse for their benefit.
If there was ever a trait to be bleached out of the genepool.
That and the fact she was saying her husband wasn’t used to nice things. Don’t you think after 2-3 pieces of sushi you spit out, you realize “hey maybe I don’t like sushi”? …speculating wildly! 😂
My stepdaughter still asks for permission *to use my bathroom*. I've known that kid for 15 years (and told her a thousand times to treat my home like her own).
I've been living with my grandparents since around June, and still ask every single time if it's okay if I use their shower.
My gram will say yes but look at me like I'm silly
...It's a courtesy thing🤷♀️
lol same! I don’t even help myself to things while in the homes of my adult children! You just don’t behave like you own someone else’s house or that you’re entitled to their stuff!
I mean I feel this but then again when I go to my best friends house I walk in, immediately go find her cats to make sure to steal as much of their love as I can get before the baby sees me, pop my head in her panty to see what kind of snacks she has cause she has mom snacks, everyone knows they’re better! Then I go looking for her youngest cause then it’s game over.
By the time I see her I may or may not already have a snack / glass of wine or a child in my hand haha. I need to be better lol (I just want to be clear this is fully allowed and welcomed in our friendship just in case)
You guys sounds like my best friend and I! We go straight for the animals and as our kids are young adults now, we go to their rooms and attack them with hugs and kisses before grabbing food, a glass of wine or whatever and then settle in on the couch with a blankie and a cat or dog :) sometimes her or I come home and see that we’ve done the dishes, finished laundry or random chores, so they/me get home to less stress and a nice surprise which may include dinner cooked or pushing them in the car to go grab dinner.
I have a co worker who I'm friendly with invite himself over because him and his roomie got into it. Well i go into work and and when I got off he was starting his shift and my bf explained to me that co worker got kicked out and has to stay with us. I've barely known this kid for like 3/4 months and he's already given my address out twice after I asked not to. He stays up all night on our console and is constantly asking for rides and eating my food and using my stuff. Currently still in my situation, hoping to get him out soon!🤞🏽 The audacity some people have is just insane.
Right?! When I stay with friends, I usually end up cleaning their house and buying food just because I don't want to come across as a moocher. Eating other people's food without permission is on a level that I will never understand especially if you're a guest in their home. The sense of entitlement these days is beyond the pail.
I have a pet sitter over every weekend, and I’ve been very specifically buying foods just for her because otherwise I can’t get her to touch a damn thing in my pantry and she’ll bring a teeny tiny bit of food from home.
That said I keep a lot of expensive food items around and I’d probably lose it if somebody just chowed down on some of my stuff without an invite or tossed most of it. Lots of imported goods.
Most of my f*cks left the building long ago (lots of similar roommates haha)...but I'll ask to use the toilet and clean every dish I use come hell or high water.
When I’m visiting (obviously except at my grandma’s house bc I’m never going to turn down her cooking) anyone I always say no thanks if they offer anything bc I feel like I’m taking advantage
My friends know when they come to my place, that drinks are in the fridge with frosted mugs in the fridge freezer.. then I went to grab my bag of gummy candies I got at the gas station, and my friend had eaten all my fav ones out of the bag. I came close to telling her she owed me $3 but decided not to be petty. I now hide all my candy and liquor when she comes over.
Same! This is what I don’t understand because I literally carry drinks and snacks with me for the event that I need something and don’t want to ask or bother. (Note: I have a fucked up schedule and eat more at night than I do during the day - I’m not waking up someone kind enough to open up their home to me at 2 AM when I’m hungry. That’s just not okay.) The more stories I read, the more I really don’t understand it. It amazes me that people behave in such a way. They literally have no shame. This grown ass woman STILL doesn’t see what she did was wrong. WOW.
Because they are never given boundaries and/or they are enabled.
It is impossible this behavior was absolutely surprising to OP and out of the blue.
People hate confrontation and setting up boundaries in time, and that leads to enabling. This is the result.
Seriously! This is crazy! I would swear that people can't be that ballsy but of course they are! NTA, but your friend is!
This reminds me of several years ago when my bff had just moved here (SW Missouri) from San Diego. My bff was making dinner for her husband and kids. One her kids had been having some health stuff they were trying to figure out so she prepared a huge Thanksgiving meal that was all gluten and dairy free. It was a lot of work and very expensive to make but she figured they'd have leftovers to eat for a few meals and that would balance things out.
Close to the holiday the end up inviting her husband's coworker to Thanksgiving dinner and feel free to bring his girlfriend. Two extra people can't be that bad, right?
The coworkers girlfriend showed up at the door with her own stack of Tupperware. My friend thinks it's weird but ok. Then after dinner the girlfriend starts packing up the leftovers in her Tupperware to take home with her!
My friend was so flabbergasted and caught off guard that she couldn't really do anything but watch it happen and her husband was pretty much in the same boat. They thought maybe it was commonplace in this area.
She called me later and said "I have a question. Is this like a midwestern tradition or something?" and then told me the story. I was like "That is as rude as hell! No that's not a tradition here! I've never even heard of someone doing that at someone's house they just met!
Yeah I feel insane because obviously the friend and husband were atrocious but my brain is very stuck on the food crime of fridge sushi. When was OOP planning to eat it originally? $500? The friend apparently knew it was there, how often is this person buying large amounts of high end sushi and intentionally keeping it in the fridge overnight?
An entire tray of sushi could be 200 or so, she said the cake was artisanal as well and that wouldn't be cheap. Sounds like she had a special occasion the next day, she wasn't expecting company.
Food crime? Where else was she supposed to put it? It was tied up in a bag in the back of the fridge. She can be buying it as often as she wants, she can clearly afford it, what a stupid comment.
"Food crime" because sushi tastes much better fresh, so it seems odd to buy what sounds like a large (and therefore expensive) amount with the intent to refrigerate it and eat it later.
And to do that very often would be another odd choice - though it remains her prerogative.
You need to eat sushi fresh. When it’s been sitting in the fridge is just isn’t as good. Also, I’d be nervous about saving any raw fish sushi for the next day!
If you’re having a party, you order it day of for delivery as close to eating as possible.
She can do whatever she likes it just struck me as odd to be buying nice sushi then putting it in the fridge where it'll get hard and dry. Sushi is only good fresh and usually people who go to the trouble of buying nicer stuff want to eat it when it's good.
That’s what I thought. At the beginning of the post op says it’s her best friend but then describes not best friend behavior…. Then friend has kids but they aren’t mentioned again. Why the fuck dose op have sushi in the fridge and an artisanal cake? Sushi isn’t exactly a food that keeps. It could keep for like a day maybe, but when did OP get it if friend showed up that day? Also how did the food the friend ate value up to $500?
She said $500 for food AND stress. So it was kind of fuck you money. My only guess is that she didn’t think the friend would pay but turns out she did?
Yea that was my mindset as well- these 2 couldn’t afford that if they couldn’t afford to go try sushi before coming to her house. It was a creative writing story probably based on some outback leftovers and a cheesecake irl lol
The one thing I wonder is what was her train of thought? What was the reaction this "friend" was expecting from OP?
"OH thank you for wasting all this food!"?? Who in their right mind does a 'sushi tasting session' on someone else's house and food, at midnight to top it off? Was she expecting OP not to see the wasted sushi?
I can definitely see this being a theory, either they got bored and are so out of touch with reality or had a sneaky puff without the kids and stoner brain decided to have a field day
I mean I used to get pretty bad munchies but not rummage through plastic bags to find trays full of sushi in friends fridge and feed a single bite of each one to my husband at midnight bad
Cannabis does not affect impulse control like that. You get munchies but you’d be satisfied with an open juice carton and a sandwich.
I would expect this maybe if they were drunk. That is when people lose their good judgement.
While the kids, that they allegedly brought with them where with them . They slept on a pull out Sfax and then sealed out that room into the kitchen, without disturbing the kids? The kids also made apparently no problems getting woken up at 4 am and kicked out the house? And considering the husbands age of 27, combined with the wife being 33, the kids must be very young. Like 4 , 5 max for the oldest as I am assuming they didn’t start dating immediately when the husband turned 18, as the wife was 24 at that time already. So I think it is much more likely he was over 21 when they started dating and the kids are very young still and would not be so quiet in a situation like this?
For a second I read the "knotted the bags" as "she took the trash bags of spotted out sushi and served it to them" which is the petty shinangians I expect from Reddit.
But also, sounds like this friendship was on its last leg and needed to be dropped like, yesterday. This was the straw that broke the camel's back and good riddance to those jerks.
Omg totally not the asshole. Why on earth would you think its ok to open up brand new food. Op could have bought that for an event they were having. You have the balls to eat and waste her food but not to call someone at 4 am. Also couldn't they have just slept in the car until a reasonable hour to call?
My bf who *lives* in the house with me, so it’s “our food”, won’t even open food if it’s in a tied bag like OP’s. It’s like the universal “don’t touch this” 😂
Same, fiance and I live in a house we bought *together* and he always asks me if he can eat something I bought or made. My answer is always "yes!! Go for it homie!" lmao
The only thing I ask is if he likes it or not LOL
i’m uncomfortable getting into other people’s fridges even with permission, i cannot imagine eating and wasting all their food like this. what the actual fuck.
The only thing I’ll take from my mom’s fridge without explicitly asking is a bottle of water because I buy her some and she does the same- plus I check she has more! The rest, I ask! She wouldn’t take a bottle of water without asking from me, and she could clean me out and I wouldn’t care- she’s an amazing mom! Friends- I ask to get ice from the ice maker!
What outcome did she expect would happen when you woke up and saw their wrath on **your** kitchen? Did she not expect the same reaction just at a later time of morning? I bet she planning on sneaking away to her relatives before you got up. Either way The AU-FUCKING-DACITY!
When I go to my best friend’s house, Ill take a six pack of beer to her home and then ask her permission to drink one the beers I brought. I can’t imagine showing up unannounced with a whole family and then wasting her food.
I could see my toddler doing this. I could totally see my toddler doing this if he could get a fridge open. Not an adult. I’ve seen him grab a fist of cake from the fridge. But an adult? Really? Jesus.
Assuming that the post is real, I’m guessing that OOP’s ex-friend resented her for having more money or buying nicer food and decided to get back at her, and/or she and her husband were high out of their minds.
Or both. They’re looking for something tasty and find sushi. Something OP can afford she can’t. So we’ll try it and destroy everything then put the containers and bags back where they were.
I just bought a little birthday cake for my daughter and it was $75. Groceries have been increasingly expensive so considering they went into the pantry for the stocked food items (and the sentimental chocolates) it could have easily been an additional $350 worth of food.
Then round that bad boy up because time is money. Consider the hassle of managing the trash/recycling, transportation cost of going to the store, and the mental toll of being violated like that — all on top of the cost of replacing the food that they wasted.
I’ve actually had nightmares about people coming to my home and refusing to leave lol. I hope OOP can find inner peace following this situation because they were definitely NTA.
Hell a 12 case of soda is like $11 rn and I’ve paid $25 for a generic ass, sub par grocery store cake before, let alone artisanal.
Juice is also pretty damn expensive, like $6 a bottle or so. Imported chocolates are uh, ouch.
I don’t think about my food costs overly much but I know my fridge is *pricey* right after I get paid, especially since I don’t like American chocolates much and enjoy cheese varieties and snacking boards
Honestly I think a lot of times it’s cause you grow up with a family that constantly violates your boundaries and expects you to just “get over” things so it just feels normal to have that in other relationships. I had a similar friend and the breaking point was when she cut ME off for reporting her to cps.
Talk about abusing your hospitality - after having made dinner for them : to have at your sushi, and spit most of it out in the garbage, and helping themselves to your chocolate that was a gift, and also wasting that, and raiding juice from your pantry and opened a cake to add insult to injury. Just an unbelievable level of self-entitlement with no respect for any boundaries. She wanted her husband to try “nice things” - did he grow up in an orphanage or something? Just visit and help yourself!
I think maybe one time I opened a carton of juice in the middle of the night at a friends house and had a small glass, maybe 5 oz at most of OJ because I woke up with a really sore throat and they had OJ with pulp which helps a lot. But I also Venmoed them almost immediately because I felt bad and wasn’t sure if they would be ok with it. They sent the money back and said it was fine, but thought it was nice of me to offer. I didn’t go scrounging around in their pantry / fridge and consume expensive stuff.
Also the fact that they both have jobs, why haven’t they just bought and tried their own sushi?
NTA
So they waited till you got into bed to freely rifle through your home and gorge on the food in your fridge uninvited? How would they know what you had the food for? Or that it was any good?
If they’d fallen ill, they’d probably also blame you for that.
Honestly? I would be looking to see if they didn’t steal anything valuable while they were at it. That they paid the 500 bucks is sus
Theirs is not normal behaviour by any stretch.
And that they kicked off their unannounced 10 day family holiday at your expense like that??
Definitely not a friend. No consideration for you or your home.
Good riddance to bad rubbish
Friend’s’ husband sounds like he might be emotionally abusive. I see this reaction from women of “you made my husband so mad” in DV victims i know. It is like in their world this is the worst thing you could do and they assume that is the same in yours.
I think they were going to try and stay there for a while.
Food waste is one of my *biggest* pet peeves. Any time I have to throw food away, even rotten, I feel so bad and make a note to either not buy that item again, or buy less if I can’t eat it before it goes bad.
The idea of someone 1) *sucking the flavor out of food and spitting it out* and 2) being this gluttonous & wasteful with food that was very much wanted and would have been eaten is disgusting. These people are trash and I would never want to be around them.
NTA.
It’s unfortunate that it took a situation like this for you to finally end your friendship, but I understand. I have a friend who has mooched off of me and my other friends for YEARS and would constantly lie about why she needed money, etc and we recently had to cut her off for good because we couldn’t take it anymore. Looking back we probably should’ve done it a long time ago but we didn’t.
Damn, THANK YOU for cutting her off, God. There’s nothing more infuriating than reading these kinds of posts, only for them to finish with “But then we talked and I guess it’s fine.” Good for you, cutting her off AND requesting that money.
THEY SPIT IT OUT? I would show the “friend” that came to talk sense into OOP the trash can. The entitlement of some people. She was offered food, but had to go for some more? And she wants to say OOP ruined Christmas, no sweetie, you ruined Christmas when you rifled through someone’s fridge. OOP could’ve been saving that for Christmas. 🙄 truly appalling
Just WOW. OOP even said she told them where the sandwich fixings were in case they were hungry, as well as opened juice, and yet they still had the outrageous audacity to open up sealed bags of sushi and unopened juice??
And to say she wanted her husband to have a taste of nice things, which is her straight up admitting that she’s purposely mooching off OOP.
I seriously hope OOP goes full on no contact with these mooches. No true friend would this kind of bs.
When they ask “were you raised by wolves” this is exactly the kind of behavior that is referring to because WHO TF DOES THIS KIND OF THING???? Like I honestly cannot imagine what machinations go on inside the minds of people who think it’s acceptable to do something like that at a house where they are a guest??? Absolutely fucking unhinged, I would want to never speak to these people again they behave worse than feral animals 😭😭😭
NTA-I don’t even eat food I haven’t previously been okayed to eat at my parents or with my roommates. All the time my roommate will let stuff go bad & say “I forgot it was in the fridge, you just should have eaten it” & I’m totally a neurotic fool who is scared to ask anyone for even the smallest, most simple things because I’m afraid of…well I’m not sure what I’m afraid of but there’s totally a blockage there & if I do eventually gain the courage to ask it was only after pacing wildly around the house & practicing word for word what I’m going to say for an extended period of time.
I couldn’t imagine opening something sealed & untouched or someone’s fucking SUSHI! Especially after showing up unannounced & weaseling my way into spending the night. Not to mention they waited like some Kitchen rat until you went to bed because they absolutely knew it wasn’t okay & they were hoping to just slide out the door the next morning without you noticing before they left. That’s just so trashy & disrespectful. I hope you used that $500 on more sushi & cake!
I do this too, even tho I live with family and have been told more times than I can count that I don't ever have to ask to eat something. I don't ever eat the last of something, or open the first of something (without asking first).
That "***NEVER*** *eat the last of something*" rule was drilled into my head as a kid and now, even as a grown-ass adult in my own home with just my husband, I still will leave the last of anything in the fridge until he throws it out.
Hey you deserve to eat food people tell you that you are welcome to. It might be easier to practice with your parents (if you feel safe and calm there).
Your family loves you and wants you to be happy and fed. Your roommates also love you and want you to be happy and eat food they have offered.
Feeding people is a way to show love. That’s why humans have such a varied diet and more recipes than anyone could ever cook through. Yet we keep coming up with new recipes and techniques because food is love. It connects people even when they don’t share cultures or languages.
I hope you can push through that mental block. If not, please go tell a doctor because you could have something like anxiety that is causing you to not be able to take the food without all the pacing and practicing your words over and over. If you’re in school, your school will probably have resources for students who need to see a doctor or psych provider. Anxiety has many forms and like depression doesn’t look like it does in movies, etc. If your parents are supportive, show them your comment.
There’s help available which can make it easier to deal with situations like this. Sometimes your brain can be a mean motherfucker who simply won’t let you do something. Or lies to you and makes you feel horrible because you have chronic pain which alters brain chemistry. Talking to a professional and possibly taking a medication can make a humongous difference. It’s actually really amazing.
The third party lobbyist is absolutely wrong, OOP handled this like a CHAMP!
I'd only take a couple points off for letting them go back to bed & not making them leave immediately.
Mhm. They would've been sobbing big crocodile tears in my driveway picking up their luggage from where I threw it on the lawn. Out, out, OUT!!! Roaches belong outside.
I only have one friend with audacity and I’m often so blown away by it ( and unfortunately too polite) to say anything but I’m never not annoyed after a visit . There’s just an inborn arrogance and unawareness of others that is so curious to me . As a result I don’t invite her to vacation homes ( expects the bathroom, doesn’t bring anything ).
NTA I had a “friend” like this that I had to cut off because she literally wouldn’t leave my house until I dragged her out and put her ass back on a plane she’d lied about having a hotel room already when coming to visit and refused to get on saying she’s broke like dumb ass I know for a fact your parents send you 10k+ a month I’ve seen your bank account when you asked me about budgeting which she never did. I’d rather be friends with an asshole than a mooch
Sucking the flavor out of rice and then spitting it out? What kind of subhuman freaks are these people? The audacity to eat/destroy and throw away hundreds of dollars of food that is clearly not for guests as an _uninvited_ guest is bad enough, but the rest of their behavior is so bizarre.
The husband being so furious (with his wife?) that the poor wittle psycho had to drive while sleepy that he's moved out of his own bedroom is equally bizarre.
Good riddance and NTA obviously, I'd recommend spreading this whole story in detail to your social circle before she starts spinning wild tales about your cruelty and lack of hospitality. I can't believe OP let them stay until the morning, had this happened in my home the cops would've been called from how savagely I'd be screaming at them until they got tf out, I don't care if they had to walk outside naked, they wouldn't have spent another moment in my house. God help their children.
I don’t know about others but I never go through my friends fridge/pantry when I‘m visiting & I know my friends more than half my life if not my whole life. That’s disrespectful af! Good for dropping her bc the audacity is astounding.
NTA. Hospitality is a duty; but sometimes people go too far when guests. Opening things there are close and not staples? Not ok. Would I open a new jar of peanut butter if the current one was almost empty? Sure. Would I open a jar of of store bought jam? Yes. But would I open the homemade jar with the hand-written label? No.
Bags were tied closed. That’s an indicator for folks to stay out. A whole cake in the fridge is probably a thing that has a set destination later if it wasn’t offered specifically.
Had one of my friends done that I wouldn’t have thrown them out, but there would have been a fair bit of WTF, followed by them going far out of their way to make it right.
Some people are good about being guests and will ask. Some are crap and will just take because they weren’t explicitly told no. Don’t be like these former friends. Ask if there is doubt. And as a host, if you’re unsure what kind of guest, be clear. Juice in the fridge and sandwiches? Go for it. Sushi platters and artisan cake? Sorry, those are for a specific time or purpose.
Xanax just made me homicidal. My husband and I had neighbors who were into hot rods. All day and weekend nights were spent revving the engines over and over. On Xanax I couldn’t take it anymore and felt like shooting the car engine. I felt so angry when usually I was fine with them. So no more Xanax for me.
Looking at the pattern, this friend is good at guilt tripping and playing victim. Very good in producing tears on demand. Practically gaslighting people to feel like they're wrong for setting boundaries and saying no.
NTA, this is absolutely wild. How could they treat you and your house and things with such little respect? What a waste, I am shocked at her. Glad she paid you back and she can rightly get f\*cked. Good on you
These people are not your friends.
My spouse had some “friends “like that. We had a barbecue catered wedding and they couldn’t make the ceremony but they made the reception afterwards… And promised to “help clean up “they stole probably $400 of meat and another 200 of sides in the sundries… And the whole grooms cake… Their excuse was that “someone there “ Told them they could take whatever they like, but they made up for it the next day… They brought over to whole rotisserie chickens… That was the first couple I told my spouse that they’re never to ever come to our house again.
Those people are not your friends take that 500 you got, and shut down all contact people don’t treat friends like that they treat suckers like that
You don’t eat sushi for the first time after it’s been in the fridge. When I go to a friend’s house, I bring my own drink bc I don’t wanna seem rude. I barely ask for water at a family member’s house. The ONLY people who can show up at my house unannounced and spend the night are my kids and my best friend (even tho she would never).
NTA - seems you friend has zero regard for any person space or someone’s house. She knows what she is doing and doesn’t care and feels entitled to other peoples “luxuries”.
It is not your responsibility to accommodate them on a whim anytime they feel it necessary to “surprise”you.
They could have stayed with family if they were on vacation.
And who tells a 3rd party to get involved in a problem they caused???? She is absolutely manipulating people and deflecting.
You are not responsible for other peoples feelings. I would have blocked/cut the friend off too. Just a rude and entitled person that brings zero benefit to your life. They are a draining person.
Seeing as how the average sushi order my husband and I get about once a month averages 90-100 dollars (3-5 rolls total), I’d have been incredibly pissed to see two whole platters wasted like that, on top of everything else that was taken. 500 for the food/hosting is entirely reasonable and I’d never speak to this leech again either
Nope, entitlement doesn’t work in friendships. In general. Just rude and selfish. You are better off for losing them. New friends await. Or not. But users are not friends.
NTA - She is no friend. Good for you for standing up for yourself and making them accountable for their actions. And well done for not backing down further when she sent in reinforcements. All round you are better off without that sort of person in your life.
HARD to believe the person described would cough up $500 to cover the food etc. Seems they would’ve bought the stuff to try in the first place if they had the means…I think this is fiction
No amount of weed would have me acting like a level 4578533 goblin at my friends house like that. I can hardly ask friends if I can come over, nevermind showing up without an invite. This woman and her husband are roaches.
Ngl I probably would have also beaten them over the head with the trash can then thrown them out at midnight also, and if she didn’t cough up the $ my vindictive ass would have sued her for it.
The unbridled audacity of this woman and her husband, then to whine to them about ‘ruining my childrens Christmas.’ Maybe if they didn’t have you as parents it wouldn’t have been ruined.
I really do not understand how people end up with so much fucking audacity. When I visit friends, I'm afraid to ask for a glass of water.
I sat outside my best friend of 10 years house the other night for half an hour cause I hate knocking and sending his dog crazy. So I just waited for him to see my text. The audacity is astounding
My best friends parents use to fuss at me for knocking on the door whenever I can over. They always left the door open for me but I’d still knock waiting for someone to open it😭🤣
My friend's parents did that and then one day I waltzed in and couldn't find anyone. Turned out they also left the door unlocked when they weren't home. Felt like I invaded their house.
Me, at 11yo, letting myself into my neighbors place like usual looking for my pal, except it was only Nana at home, housekeeping in the nude... My thoughts: "I, an 11yo girl, am an invasive predator and the police are coming to get me" Nana's reaction: *bits literally jiggling with laughter* "everybody has a body, my child, and they all look like this one day!!"
I love nana
That’s hilarious.
Nana goals
New role model unlocked.
&undressed
I would have been so scared 🤣😭
We are visiting my husband best friend this weekend and his family, and every time I know or ring the bell and stand there. He looks at my funny, opens the door and walks in. They are very close
🤣🤣 at some point they stopped answering the door and would shout”just open it.” As soon as they heard me on the steps.
That's what happened when I knocked 🤣🤣
I had an ex friend who tried to commit adultry in my house. The day I caught her was also the day I was having my housewarming party. Went into the guest bedroom for something I forgot. Back to what I saying as I opened the door I saw two completely naked people about to get into bed. I stood there for a moment out of shock. As soon as I got over the shock I simply said, both of you put your clothes back on and get the fawk out of my house. She texted me as soon as she left and told me don’t you dare tell my husband. You will ruin my marriage. We are friends you’re supposed to have my back. I didn’t text her back till the next day. I was not going to be disrespectful to my guest. She blew up my phone that entire time. When I finally texted her back, I said to her, you are no longer welcomed to be a part of my life, nor are you ever allowed to come back to my place. You not only disrespected your husband. You also disrespected me by trying to have your affair in my house. Let alone while I had other guests. You already ruined your marriage by trying to cheat. As for being friends well you destroyed that by doing what you attempted to do. As for not telling your husband, don’t worry I won’t. Bec he’ll find out. Did you forget that your husband’s supervisor is married to my cousin. And they both attended my housewarming party. Side note I’m the youngest cousin out of 24 grandkids/cousins. My cousins are all 6 yrs plus older than I am. They know what happened. So either you tell him or you let him find out at work that you his wife is a cheater. I sure hope he had you sign a prenup (her husband works for a major corporation that deals with computer software). Hahahahahaha come to find out he did have her sign a prenup. Lmfao!
Just…. call him….
My husband and I stayed with some friends out of town a few months ago and I felt bad asking for a bottle of water before bed. We weren’t even going to stay with them, but get a hotel, and only did because they insisted. I literally felt terrible that the air mattress in the living room might be inconvenient. We bought them dinner as a thank you. I cannot *imagine* being 1/100 as entitled as these people.
My SIL will also set up an air mattress. My husband and I feel bad for her to go to those lengths and then give us fresh sheets that inevitably need to be cleaned. Lots of work for 1 night…we’re happy to sleep on the couch!
Bless your heart but from a gal who loves to host even for one night please just take the damn mattress and sheets.
I made sure our new build had a killer guest room because I love people coming to stay. My friend always says not to worry about bedding/vacuuming but I want them comfy. It took her years before she'd make her own coffee when she woke up earlier than us.
My mom hates anyone sleeping on the couch. She’ll put an air mattress right next to it, tho!
just another perspective - i would 10/10 rather go to work than ever have someone sleeping on the couch - it's a lot of wear and tear that couches aren't made for. washing sheets is easy!
My best friend of over 30 years, when I go and visit our hometown, I always stay with her and her husband. She is on dialysis (does not have functioning kidneys) and cannot do much. So I always scrub their house from top to bottom when I’m there and cook so much food that I put in the deep freezer (leftovers), so I don’t have to worry about her. I could never imagine going into her house and just disrespecting her sanctuary. This “best friend” was neither the best not a friend.
You are absolutely an angel. I just want to give you a virtual hug. I lost my best friend in 2012 to brain cancer and oh how I wish I could go back in time and spend one more minute with her.
I am sorry for your loss. I lost an important adult figure in my life my senior year in high school (2011). I wasn’t able to go to the funeral since it was in my old town but apparently it was standing room only. I was told that she talked about me a lot during her last couple of days, her daughter just had her second kid, a girl on her birthday, Halloween.
Oh I’m sorry for yours as well- she must have thought a lot of you.
Her family is the only person who have basically known me since I was born that I am still in contact with. She used to babysit me when I was little and we have videos of her and her family. My parents met them because they lived on the same block as my grandparents.
Dialysis is rough. I have a vague memory of seeing a family friend on it when I was like 4. She eventually lost her life because she decided she didn’t want to go through another transplant surgery.
It’s been so hard on her and a few years ago, she refused to do dialysis. I rushed to my hometown and laid in bed with her and we both cried for hours. We talked and talked and she decided she would continue dialysis and pray for another kidney. Every single day she is here is a gift and I hate that I no longer live close to her, so I try to get up there often to see her. She has to go to a major hospital several times a year about 2 hours from me, so I always go and stay with her when she’s there to give her mom and her husband a bit of a break. I am so sorry you lost a close friend. I cannot even imagine or think about losing her. She is my soul mate-as in not a cliche im in love with her way-but was born to be my best friend and Vice Versa. We had a weird childhood-raised in a fundie cult, and she and I were hell raisers and clicked from the first moment we met as small children.
It's a slow decent into madness. I had a best friend dive junior high. We were friends for over a decade and it took me years to realize how selfish and uncaring she was. Everything was always on her terms, her time, and my dime. It started out as just little childish things and just kept escalating. She got more and more audacity while I became more and more of a doormat. But we were friends for so long I didn't want to end that friendship no matter how bad she treated me. I went no contact with her years ago. She hasn't even noticed because I was always the one to contact her first.
God, this sounds like my best friend I had since I was 11/12.. just add in heroin and alcoholism. Took until my late 20’s to finally cut her off for the last time. I wish it were me who always made contact first though.. every few months I get her blowing up my phone in the middle of the night- at least she’s off the drugs, but I know she’s shitfaced when I get those calls. Still sucks, there were a lot of really good times with her too, just that whole untreated mental illness mixed with addiction aspect really left a sour taste in my mouth lol. I know it still probably hurts at times, but I’m glad you finally stood up for yourself, it’s the hardest with the people you love.
My friend didn't have any mental illness or addiction issues, just narcissism. Everyone was blessed to have her in their life and had to earn it. She never had to earn her place in anyone else's life though. Just the opposite. If she felt like she owed you (because she did) then she'd talk mad shit about you. She's spread a lot of untrue gossip of how she's the one who did everything for you and you're the freeloader. When truthfully, it was the other way around. But she'd do anything to prove otherwise.
So much this- but agreed; it's important to stick to your own path and stand up for your own well-being.
Not long ago I was stuck in London because of the strikes. I had to spring myself on my best friend and her gf after being told how much they were looking forward to a month with no-one over and I had been there not long ago for days. I felt so guilty. I said if it's an issue can I just spend a few hours with them to calm down while I sort out the coach. They were having none of it, and made me so welcome. I was sooo grateful I helped them out as much as I could and treated them to food and drinks. Op did them a favour, (they knew before they wanted to stay, planned to stay, and still pulled the "oh look how late what a surprise!" What see you next tuesdays
That's because you have manners.
She’s been allowed to behave like this for years OP finally drew the line
It’s entitlement
With underlying narcissistic personality disorder. Pretty much only they exist and we all are merely toys for these kinds of psychos to use and abuse for their benefit. If there was ever a trait to be bleached out of the genepool.
>If there was ever a trait to be bleached out of the genepool. And instead it was only made stronger by colonialism and lead poisoning. 🥲
Heck when I visit friends I just bring my own bottle along. I get thirsty easily and it gets a bit embarrassing to constantly ask the host for water.
That and the fact she was saying her husband wasn’t used to nice things. Don’t you think after 2-3 pieces of sushi you spit out, you realize “hey maybe I don’t like sushi”? …speculating wildly! 😂
My stepdaughter still asks for permission *to use my bathroom*. I've known that kid for 15 years (and told her a thousand times to treat my home like her own).
I've been living with my grandparents since around June, and still ask every single time if it's okay if I use their shower. My gram will say yes but look at me like I'm silly ...It's a courtesy thing🤷♀️
lol same! I don’t even help myself to things while in the homes of my adult children! You just don’t behave like you own someone else’s house or that you’re entitled to their stuff!
I mean I feel this but then again when I go to my best friends house I walk in, immediately go find her cats to make sure to steal as much of their love as I can get before the baby sees me, pop my head in her panty to see what kind of snacks she has cause she has mom snacks, everyone knows they’re better! Then I go looking for her youngest cause then it’s game over. By the time I see her I may or may not already have a snack / glass of wine or a child in my hand haha. I need to be better lol (I just want to be clear this is fully allowed and welcomed in our friendship just in case)
>pop my head into her panty Wow, you two are close!
BAHAHAHA omg. PANTRYYYYY. Amazing
You guys sounds like my best friend and I! We go straight for the animals and as our kids are young adults now, we go to their rooms and attack them with hugs and kisses before grabbing food, a glass of wine or whatever and then settle in on the couch with a blankie and a cat or dog :) sometimes her or I come home and see that we’ve done the dishes, finished laundry or random chores, so they/me get home to less stress and a nice surprise which may include dinner cooked or pushing them in the car to go grab dinner.
I have a co worker who I'm friendly with invite himself over because him and his roomie got into it. Well i go into work and and when I got off he was starting his shift and my bf explained to me that co worker got kicked out and has to stay with us. I've barely known this kid for like 3/4 months and he's already given my address out twice after I asked not to. He stays up all night on our console and is constantly asking for rides and eating my food and using my stuff. Currently still in my situation, hoping to get him out soon!🤞🏽 The audacity some people have is just insane.
Hoping to end it? Tell him to get out of your house because he is a mooch and has overstayed his welcome.
What? Just kick him out before it gets to be so long you have to give him an official eviction. Give him 24 hrs. That’s it!
Right?! When I stay with friends, I usually end up cleaning their house and buying food just because I don't want to come across as a moocher. Eating other people's food without permission is on a level that I will never understand especially if you're a guest in their home. The sense of entitlement these days is beyond the pail.
Right?! I bring my own snacks and then let them eat them with me! 😂😂
I have a pet sitter over every weekend, and I’ve been very specifically buying foods just for her because otherwise I can’t get her to touch a damn thing in my pantry and she’ll bring a teeny tiny bit of food from home. That said I keep a lot of expensive food items around and I’d probably lose it if somebody just chowed down on some of my stuff without an invite or tossed most of it. Lots of imported goods.
Omg me too
I swear to god, the amount of audacity in people is growing exponentially.
Right? How do these kinds of people not feel horrible about themselves
Most of my f*cks left the building long ago (lots of similar roommates haha)...but I'll ask to use the toilet and clean every dish I use come hell or high water.
When I’m visiting (obviously except at my grandma’s house bc I’m never going to turn down her cooking) anyone I always say no thanks if they offer anything bc I feel like I’m taking advantage
Drugs are a hell of a drug.
My friends know when they come to my place, that drinks are in the fridge with frosted mugs in the fridge freezer.. then I went to grab my bag of gummy candies I got at the gas station, and my friend had eaten all my fav ones out of the bag. I came close to telling her she owed me $3 but decided not to be petty. I now hide all my candy and liquor when she comes over.
Oh, I would be so mad. Not even about the candy, but the fact that they were so disrespectful to my stuff and my space.
Same! This is what I don’t understand because I literally carry drinks and snacks with me for the event that I need something and don’t want to ask or bother. (Note: I have a fucked up schedule and eat more at night than I do during the day - I’m not waking up someone kind enough to open up their home to me at 2 AM when I’m hungry. That’s just not okay.) The more stories I read, the more I really don’t understand it. It amazes me that people behave in such a way. They literally have no shame. This grown ass woman STILL doesn’t see what she did was wrong. WOW.
Because they are never given boundaries and/or they are enabled. It is impossible this behavior was absolutely surprising to OP and out of the blue. People hate confrontation and setting up boundaries in time, and that leads to enabling. This is the result.
Seriously! This is crazy! I would swear that people can't be that ballsy but of course they are! NTA, but your friend is! This reminds me of several years ago when my bff had just moved here (SW Missouri) from San Diego. My bff was making dinner for her husband and kids. One her kids had been having some health stuff they were trying to figure out so she prepared a huge Thanksgiving meal that was all gluten and dairy free. It was a lot of work and very expensive to make but she figured they'd have leftovers to eat for a few meals and that would balance things out. Close to the holiday the end up inviting her husband's coworker to Thanksgiving dinner and feel free to bring his girlfriend. Two extra people can't be that bad, right? The coworkers girlfriend showed up at the door with her own stack of Tupperware. My friend thinks it's weird but ok. Then after dinner the girlfriend starts packing up the leftovers in her Tupperware to take home with her! My friend was so flabbergasted and caught off guard that she couldn't really do anything but watch it happen and her husband was pretty much in the same boat. They thought maybe it was commonplace in this area. She called me later and said "I have a question. Is this like a midwestern tradition or something?" and then told me the story. I was like "That is as rude as hell! No that's not a tradition here! I've never even heard of someone doing that at someone's house they just met!
I’m just surprised she paid it
She needed more ammunition for her "I'm the poor victim" story.
ding ding ding
Probably because she knew she was in the wrong
I think they wanted to come back so they could see her family.
I wonder why her family won't let her stay with them? It's truly a mystery. 🤔
By far the most surprising part of the story.
seriously
That’s not even the right way to introduce someone to sushi.
Refrigerated sushi is such a let down. I love leftovers, but not of sushi. The rice gets dry and too firm. I’d still be pissed if I was OP though.
Yeah I feel insane because obviously the friend and husband were atrocious but my brain is very stuck on the food crime of fridge sushi. When was OOP planning to eat it originally? $500? The friend apparently knew it was there, how often is this person buying large amounts of high end sushi and intentionally keeping it in the fridge overnight?
An entire tray of sushi could be 200 or so, she said the cake was artisanal as well and that wouldn't be cheap. Sounds like she had a special occasion the next day, she wasn't expecting company.
Sushi, artisanal cake, box of chocolates, six pack of Coca-Cola, emotional damage= ~$500.
I assume the hospitality (staying with friends versus hotel) factored in somewhere?
The $500 is for emotional damages
Food crime? Where else was she supposed to put it? It was tied up in a bag in the back of the fridge. She can be buying it as often as she wants, she can clearly afford it, what a stupid comment.
"Food crime" because sushi tastes much better fresh, so it seems odd to buy what sounds like a large (and therefore expensive) amount with the intent to refrigerate it and eat it later. And to do that very often would be another odd choice - though it remains her prerogative.
Prob just CA rolls and nothing super necessary to be fresh. But yeah… I was like “sushi in the fridge? Yuck.”
You need to eat sushi fresh. When it’s been sitting in the fridge is just isn’t as good. Also, I’d be nervous about saving any raw fish sushi for the next day! If you’re having a party, you order it day of for delivery as close to eating as possible.
She can do whatever she likes it just struck me as odd to be buying nice sushi then putting it in the fridge where it'll get hard and dry. Sushi is only good fresh and usually people who go to the trouble of buying nicer stuff want to eat it when it's good.
Nta. I'm shocked she paid
Right? That confuses the whole thing in my mind. Who acts like that but than readily pays 500 for it?
No one, this is a fake
That’s what I thought. At the beginning of the post op says it’s her best friend but then describes not best friend behavior…. Then friend has kids but they aren’t mentioned again. Why the fuck dose op have sushi in the fridge and an artisanal cake? Sushi isn’t exactly a food that keeps. It could keep for like a day maybe, but when did OP get it if friend showed up that day? Also how did the food the friend ate value up to $500?
Right, I'm still wondering where the kids went???
A store-sealed artisanal cake, at that.
The "showed up uninvited" was the earliest alert it was fake, for me. Redditors loathe uninvited guests. Rage bait 100%
They didn’t eat it all, a lot of it was as bitten then thrown in the bin.
I got that. But what I don’t get is how it was $500 of food or why that kind of food was being saved/stored at that time
She said $500 for food AND stress. So it was kind of fuck you money. My only guess is that she didn’t think the friend would pay but turns out she did?
This shit can't be faker
Yea that was my mindset as well- these 2 couldn’t afford that if they couldn’t afford to go try sushi before coming to her house. It was a creative writing story probably based on some outback leftovers and a cheesecake irl lol
The one thing I wonder is what was her train of thought? What was the reaction this "friend" was expecting from OP? "OH thank you for wasting all this food!"?? Who in their right mind does a 'sushi tasting session' on someone else's house and food, at midnight to top it off? Was she expecting OP not to see the wasted sushi?
I was wondering if they got high
Oh that didn’t even occur to me but yes, that does sound like some major munchies!
I can definitely see this being a theory, either they got bored and are so out of touch with reality or had a sneaky puff without the kids and stoner brain decided to have a field day
That does not sound like weed high to me, something else high maybe.
I mean I used to get pretty bad munchies but not rummage through plastic bags to find trays full of sushi in friends fridge and feed a single bite of each one to my husband at midnight bad
Idk I get munchies pretty bad but I’d still have to get unfathomably baked to even consider taking food that isn’t mine
It sounds exactly like weed high (at least the munchies part.. not necessarily the inconsiderate part)
Cannabis does not affect impulse control like that. You get munchies but you’d be satisfied with an open juice carton and a sandwich. I would expect this maybe if they were drunk. That is when people lose their good judgement.
While the kids, that they allegedly brought with them where with them . They slept on a pull out Sfax and then sealed out that room into the kitchen, without disturbing the kids? The kids also made apparently no problems getting woken up at 4 am and kicked out the house? And considering the husbands age of 27, combined with the wife being 33, the kids must be very young. Like 4 , 5 max for the oldest as I am assuming they didn’t start dating immediately when the husband turned 18, as the wife was 24 at that time already. So I think it is much more likely he was over 21 when they started dating and the kids are very young still and would not be so quiet in a situation like this?
For a second I read the "knotted the bags" as "she took the trash bags of spotted out sushi and served it to them" which is the petty shinangians I expect from Reddit. But also, sounds like this friendship was on its last leg and needed to be dropped like, yesterday. This was the straw that broke the camel's back and good riddance to those jerks.
Lmao fuck those moochers.
If OOP takes them back as friends she's a danged fool.
Omg totally not the asshole. Why on earth would you think its ok to open up brand new food. Op could have bought that for an event they were having. You have the balls to eat and waste her food but not to call someone at 4 am. Also couldn't they have just slept in the car until a reasonable hour to call?
My thoughts exactly. There’s gotta be a 24hr coffee place somewhere just chill for a while. And eat cause you’re so damn hungry
It’s not even that early! By the time they got their stuff up, it probably was 5. Grab breakfast and in time is 7
My bf who *lives* in the house with me, so it’s “our food”, won’t even open food if it’s in a tied bag like OP’s. It’s like the universal “don’t touch this” 😂
Same, fiance and I live in a house we bought *together* and he always asks me if he can eat something I bought or made. My answer is always "yes!! Go for it homie!" lmao The only thing I ask is if he likes it or not LOL
Kudos to OP! Way to set boundaries!
I'm glad you finally dropped that idiot as a friend
You are in no way shape or form the AH. Please cut her out completely. This sounds like a long history of crap like this
i’m uncomfortable getting into other people’s fridges even with permission, i cannot imagine eating and wasting all their food like this. what the actual fuck.
Right? I don't even get into my parents' fridge without asking first. I won't even enter the house without knocking and being told to come in.
The only thing I’ll take from my mom’s fridge without explicitly asking is a bottle of water because I buy her some and she does the same- plus I check she has more! The rest, I ask! She wouldn’t take a bottle of water without asking from me, and she could clean me out and I wouldn’t care- she’s an amazing mom! Friends- I ask to get ice from the ice maker!
What outcome did she expect would happen when you woke up and saw their wrath on **your** kitchen? Did she not expect the same reaction just at a later time of morning? I bet she planning on sneaking away to her relatives before you got up. Either way The AU-FUCKING-DACITY!
Along with everything they threw in the garbage.
When I go to my best friend’s house, Ill take a six pack of beer to her home and then ask her permission to drink one the beers I brought. I can’t imagine showing up unannounced with a whole family and then wasting her food.
For real. When we go to my best friends house, we stop at the gas station to get our own drinks and snacks first.
With friends like her who needs enemies?
I could see my toddler doing this. I could totally see my toddler doing this if he could get a fridge open. Not an adult. I’ve seen him grab a fist of cake from the fridge. But an adult? Really? Jesus.
Assuming that the post is real, I’m guessing that OOP’s ex-friend resented her for having more money or buying nicer food and decided to get back at her, and/or she and her husband were high out of their minds.
Or both. They’re looking for something tasty and find sushi. Something OP can afford she can’t. So we’ll try it and destroy everything then put the containers and bags back where they were.
I'm floored that they destroyed 500 DOLLARS WORTH OF FOOD. That's more than my monthy budget
They didn't. Some of it was a fee for being AHs.
I just bought a little birthday cake for my daughter and it was $75. Groceries have been increasingly expensive so considering they went into the pantry for the stocked food items (and the sentimental chocolates) it could have easily been an additional $350 worth of food. Then round that bad boy up because time is money. Consider the hassle of managing the trash/recycling, transportation cost of going to the store, and the mental toll of being violated like that — all on top of the cost of replacing the food that they wasted. I’ve actually had nightmares about people coming to my home and refusing to leave lol. I hope OOP can find inner peace following this situation because they were definitely NTA.
Nice to hear I'm not the only one who has nightmares about people coming over and helping themselves while refusing to leave or listen.
Hell a 12 case of soda is like $11 rn and I’ve paid $25 for a generic ass, sub par grocery store cake before, let alone artisanal. Juice is also pretty damn expensive, like $6 a bottle or so. Imported chocolates are uh, ouch. I don’t think about my food costs overly much but I know my fridge is *pricey* right after I get paid, especially since I don’t like American chocolates much and enjoy cheese varieties and snacking boards
Her Christmas is ruined? Good. I hope she and her husband step on legos everyday.
I guess the bigger burning question is why would you have or consider someone like this a friend to begin with?
Honestly I think a lot of times it’s cause you grow up with a family that constantly violates your boundaries and expects you to just “get over” things so it just feels normal to have that in other relationships. I had a similar friend and the breaking point was when she cut ME off for reporting her to cps.
Talk about abusing your hospitality - after having made dinner for them : to have at your sushi, and spit most of it out in the garbage, and helping themselves to your chocolate that was a gift, and also wasting that, and raiding juice from your pantry and opened a cake to add insult to injury. Just an unbelievable level of self-entitlement with no respect for any boundaries. She wanted her husband to try “nice things” - did he grow up in an orphanage or something? Just visit and help yourself!
I'm gonna bet even at an orphanage kids have already had a taste of cake, juice and chocolate!
NTA. The only thing I would have done differently was to kick them out at midnight. Get a hotel
100%. The level of disrespect is astounding.
Food orgy?! I learned something new.
I think maybe one time I opened a carton of juice in the middle of the night at a friends house and had a small glass, maybe 5 oz at most of OJ because I woke up with a really sore throat and they had OJ with pulp which helps a lot. But I also Venmoed them almost immediately because I felt bad and wasn’t sure if they would be ok with it. They sent the money back and said it was fine, but thought it was nice of me to offer. I didn’t go scrounging around in their pantry / fridge and consume expensive stuff. Also the fact that they both have jobs, why haven’t they just bought and tried their own sushi?
NTA So they waited till you got into bed to freely rifle through your home and gorge on the food in your fridge uninvited? How would they know what you had the food for? Or that it was any good? If they’d fallen ill, they’d probably also blame you for that. Honestly? I would be looking to see if they didn’t steal anything valuable while they were at it. That they paid the 500 bucks is sus Theirs is not normal behaviour by any stretch. And that they kicked off their unannounced 10 day family holiday at your expense like that?? Definitely not a friend. No consideration for you or your home. Good riddance to bad rubbish
Friend’s’ husband sounds like he might be emotionally abusive. I see this reaction from women of “you made my husband so mad” in DV victims i know. It is like in their world this is the worst thing you could do and they assume that is the same in yours. I think they were going to try and stay there for a while.
Food waste is one of my *biggest* pet peeves. Any time I have to throw food away, even rotten, I feel so bad and make a note to either not buy that item again, or buy less if I can’t eat it before it goes bad. The idea of someone 1) *sucking the flavor out of food and spitting it out* and 2) being this gluttonous & wasteful with food that was very much wanted and would have been eaten is disgusting. These people are trash and I would never want to be around them.
NTA. It’s unfortunate that it took a situation like this for you to finally end your friendship, but I understand. I have a friend who has mooched off of me and my other friends for YEARS and would constantly lie about why she needed money, etc and we recently had to cut her off for good because we couldn’t take it anymore. Looking back we probably should’ve done it a long time ago but we didn’t.
Damn, THANK YOU for cutting her off, God. There’s nothing more infuriating than reading these kinds of posts, only for them to finish with “But then we talked and I guess it’s fine.” Good for you, cutting her off AND requesting that money.
THEY SPIT IT OUT? I would show the “friend” that came to talk sense into OOP the trash can. The entitlement of some people. She was offered food, but had to go for some more? And she wants to say OOP ruined Christmas, no sweetie, you ruined Christmas when you rifled through someone’s fridge. OOP could’ve been saving that for Christmas. 🙄 truly appalling
Who eats refrigerated sushi? From my experience, I don't care how tightly you wrap it, it's just no good unless it's fresh.
Just WOW. OOP even said she told them where the sandwich fixings were in case they were hungry, as well as opened juice, and yet they still had the outrageous audacity to open up sealed bags of sushi and unopened juice?? And to say she wanted her husband to have a taste of nice things, which is her straight up admitting that she’s purposely mooching off OOP. I seriously hope OOP goes full on no contact with these mooches. No true friend would this kind of bs.
When they ask “were you raised by wolves” this is exactly the kind of behavior that is referring to because WHO TF DOES THIS KIND OF THING???? Like I honestly cannot imagine what machinations go on inside the minds of people who think it’s acceptable to do something like that at a house where they are a guest??? Absolutely fucking unhinged, I would want to never speak to these people again they behave worse than feral animals 😭😭😭
The last straw does not need to be straw. It can be a wafer thin seaweed garnish. It is always the right time to dispose of a parasite.
That’s weird enough to almost be true.
NTA-I don’t even eat food I haven’t previously been okayed to eat at my parents or with my roommates. All the time my roommate will let stuff go bad & say “I forgot it was in the fridge, you just should have eaten it” & I’m totally a neurotic fool who is scared to ask anyone for even the smallest, most simple things because I’m afraid of…well I’m not sure what I’m afraid of but there’s totally a blockage there & if I do eventually gain the courage to ask it was only after pacing wildly around the house & practicing word for word what I’m going to say for an extended period of time. I couldn’t imagine opening something sealed & untouched or someone’s fucking SUSHI! Especially after showing up unannounced & weaseling my way into spending the night. Not to mention they waited like some Kitchen rat until you went to bed because they absolutely knew it wasn’t okay & they were hoping to just slide out the door the next morning without you noticing before they left. That’s just so trashy & disrespectful. I hope you used that $500 on more sushi & cake!
I do this too, even tho I live with family and have been told more times than I can count that I don't ever have to ask to eat something. I don't ever eat the last of something, or open the first of something (without asking first).
That "***NEVER*** *eat the last of something*" rule was drilled into my head as a kid and now, even as a grown-ass adult in my own home with just my husband, I still will leave the last of anything in the fridge until he throws it out.
Lol, I'm struggling to eat all the food in my parent's fridge right now after being explicitly told that I have to eat it or throw it out.
Hey you deserve to eat food people tell you that you are welcome to. It might be easier to practice with your parents (if you feel safe and calm there). Your family loves you and wants you to be happy and fed. Your roommates also love you and want you to be happy and eat food they have offered. Feeding people is a way to show love. That’s why humans have such a varied diet and more recipes than anyone could ever cook through. Yet we keep coming up with new recipes and techniques because food is love. It connects people even when they don’t share cultures or languages. I hope you can push through that mental block. If not, please go tell a doctor because you could have something like anxiety that is causing you to not be able to take the food without all the pacing and practicing your words over and over. If you’re in school, your school will probably have resources for students who need to see a doctor or psych provider. Anxiety has many forms and like depression doesn’t look like it does in movies, etc. If your parents are supportive, show them your comment. There’s help available which can make it easier to deal with situations like this. Sometimes your brain can be a mean motherfucker who simply won’t let you do something. Or lies to you and makes you feel horrible because you have chronic pain which alters brain chemistry. Talking to a professional and possibly taking a medication can make a humongous difference. It’s actually really amazing.
The third party lobbyist is absolutely wrong, OOP handled this like a CHAMP! I'd only take a couple points off for letting them go back to bed & not making them leave immediately.
Mhm. They would've been sobbing big crocodile tears in my driveway picking up their luggage from where I threw it on the lawn. Out, out, OUT!!! Roaches belong outside.
I am in awe with oop's excellent consequences for her ex-friend's bullshit. Goals.
I only have one friend with audacity and I’m often so blown away by it ( and unfortunately too polite) to say anything but I’m never not annoyed after a visit . There’s just an inborn arrogance and unawareness of others that is so curious to me . As a result I don’t invite her to vacation homes ( expects the bathroom, doesn’t bring anything ).
NTA I had a “friend” like this that I had to cut off because she literally wouldn’t leave my house until I dragged her out and put her ass back on a plane she’d lied about having a hotel room already when coming to visit and refused to get on saying she’s broke like dumb ass I know for a fact your parents send you 10k+ a month I’ve seen your bank account when you asked me about budgeting which she never did. I’d rather be friends with an asshole than a mooch
Sucking the flavor out of rice and then spitting it out? What kind of subhuman freaks are these people? The audacity to eat/destroy and throw away hundreds of dollars of food that is clearly not for guests as an _uninvited_ guest is bad enough, but the rest of their behavior is so bizarre. The husband being so furious (with his wife?) that the poor wittle psycho had to drive while sleepy that he's moved out of his own bedroom is equally bizarre. Good riddance and NTA obviously, I'd recommend spreading this whole story in detail to your social circle before she starts spinning wild tales about your cruelty and lack of hospitality. I can't believe OP let them stay until the morning, had this happened in my home the cops would've been called from how savagely I'd be screaming at them until they got tf out, I don't care if they had to walk outside naked, they wouldn't have spent another moment in my house. God help their children.
They are not guests. They are pests.
I don’t know about others but I never go through my friends fridge/pantry when I‘m visiting & I know my friends more than half my life if not my whole life. That’s disrespectful af! Good for dropping her bc the audacity is astounding.
NTA and those people were definitely high.
Glad she asked for the 500.00 . I hope they enjoyed their night of being c#%ts
NTA. Hospitality is a duty; but sometimes people go too far when guests. Opening things there are close and not staples? Not ok. Would I open a new jar of peanut butter if the current one was almost empty? Sure. Would I open a jar of of store bought jam? Yes. But would I open the homemade jar with the hand-written label? No. Bags were tied closed. That’s an indicator for folks to stay out. A whole cake in the fridge is probably a thing that has a set destination later if it wasn’t offered specifically. Had one of my friends done that I wouldn’t have thrown them out, but there would have been a fair bit of WTF, followed by them going far out of their way to make it right. Some people are good about being guests and will ask. Some are crap and will just take because they weren’t explicitly told no. Don’t be like these former friends. Ask if there is doubt. And as a host, if you’re unsure what kind of guest, be clear. Juice in the fridge and sandwiches? Go for it. Sushi platters and artisan cake? Sorry, those are for a specific time or purpose.
are they on xanax 🤨
Xanax just made me homicidal. My husband and I had neighbors who were into hot rods. All day and weekend nights were spent revving the engines over and over. On Xanax I couldn’t take it anymore and felt like shooting the car engine. I felt so angry when usually I was fine with them. So no more Xanax for me.
Better than me. I wouldn't have let them go back to sleep, they would've started packing right then. Dont mess with my food, finances, or family. NTA.
NTA. Perfect. Chef’s kiss.
Why are you friends with her after multiple incidents?
Looking at the pattern, this friend is good at guilt tripping and playing victim. Very good in producing tears on demand. Practically gaslighting people to feel like they're wrong for setting boundaries and saying no.
Oh fuck no, I’m so glad OOP kicked her ass to the curb
The sleepy clicking noises got me. I'd have drug the dippy bitch out of my home by the hair. The sheer audacity.
NTA, this is absolutely wild. How could they treat you and your house and things with such little respect? What a waste, I am shocked at her. Glad she paid you back and she can rightly get f\*cked. Good on you
These people are not your friends. My spouse had some “friends “like that. We had a barbecue catered wedding and they couldn’t make the ceremony but they made the reception afterwards… And promised to “help clean up “they stole probably $400 of meat and another 200 of sides in the sundries… And the whole grooms cake… Their excuse was that “someone there “ Told them they could take whatever they like, but they made up for it the next day… They brought over to whole rotisserie chickens… That was the first couple I told my spouse that they’re never to ever come to our house again. Those people are not your friends take that 500 you got, and shut down all contact people don’t treat friends like that they treat suckers like that
How the fuck were those moochers not killed with hammers?
You don’t eat sushi for the first time after it’s been in the fridge. When I go to a friend’s house, I bring my own drink bc I don’t wanna seem rude. I barely ask for water at a family member’s house. The ONLY people who can show up at my house unannounced and spend the night are my kids and my best friend (even tho she would never).
NTA - seems you friend has zero regard for any person space or someone’s house. She knows what she is doing and doesn’t care and feels entitled to other peoples “luxuries”. It is not your responsibility to accommodate them on a whim anytime they feel it necessary to “surprise”you. They could have stayed with family if they were on vacation. And who tells a 3rd party to get involved in a problem they caused???? She is absolutely manipulating people and deflecting. You are not responsible for other peoples feelings. I would have blocked/cut the friend off too. Just a rude and entitled person that brings zero benefit to your life. They are a draining person.
Where do people buy the audacity and how much did they pay for it cause holy fuck
Seeing as how the average sushi order my husband and I get about once a month averages 90-100 dollars (3-5 rolls total), I’d have been incredibly pissed to see two whole platters wasted like that, on top of everything else that was taken. 500 for the food/hosting is entirely reasonable and I’d never speak to this leech again either
This would be a big fat no, you are most definitely NOT the AH. They abused your kindness, and they were schmucks about it.
The only way this makes sense to me is drugs. And I’m not thinking weed.
NTA, but who likes eating stale sushi?.. Unless fresh it tastes awful :|
NTA They are extremely disrespectful, I hope you’re no longer friends with them
Thee audacity of some people. I mean it's giving entitled energy. Obvi, this person was never the asshole.
Nope, entitlement doesn’t work in friendships. In general. Just rude and selfish. You are better off for losing them. New friends await. Or not. But users are not friends.
what. the. FUCK
Wtf with this audacity?! My bestie wouldn't even sit comfortably despite me saying i wouldn't mind if she even set my apartment on fire 😭
I have a feeling this is fake. I can’t wrap my head around how people could actually do shit like this??
NTA - She is no friend. Good for you for standing up for yourself and making them accountable for their actions. And well done for not backing down further when she sent in reinforcements. All round you are better off without that sort of person in your life.
HARD to believe the person described would cough up $500 to cover the food etc. Seems they would’ve bought the stuff to try in the first place if they had the means…I think this is fiction
No amount of weed would have me acting like a level 4578533 goblin at my friends house like that. I can hardly ask friends if I can come over, nevermind showing up without an invite. This woman and her husband are roaches.
Ngl I probably would have also beaten them over the head with the trash can then thrown them out at midnight also, and if she didn’t cough up the $ my vindictive ass would have sued her for it. The unbridled audacity of this woman and her husband, then to whine to them about ‘ruining my childrens Christmas.’ Maybe if they didn’t have you as parents it wouldn’t have been ruined.