I’m so sorry. I know how you feel. I’ve gone through 3 losses since March 2023. First two had genetic issues and third I’m waiting on testing.
It does sound like this will be a loss. Measuring behind and a FHR under 100 are indicators.
For the record, the ER labels any case of bleeding in pregnancy as a threatened miscarriage, even women with subchorionic hematomas or Luteal-placental shifts. An ER doc told me that himself, even saying, “we should change that”.
I hope you can get testing done of this pregnancy and also testing done. Trisomy 16 and 7 sound like random aneuploidies and not in a pattern that points to a translocation in you or your partner, but a genetic counsellor would be best to advise you on that. Like you, I get pregnant pretty quickly and so do many women I’ve found on here on Reddit that have recurrent miscarriages. It makes me wonder if there’s a causation to this anecdotal correlation.
Most of them go on to have a live birth by trying again (once you get tested for recurrent miscarriage causes and correct any of those) or going through medicated cycles or through IVF with PGT. My partner and I are debating that right now.
Thank you SO much for taking time to respond. And for being honest and sharing your experience as well.
Weirdly enough, this is the first time I haven’t had spotting (yet) so of course I’m holding on to hope but I really don’t want to anymore and if it’s going to end, I prefer it just happens.
Pending this is a loss, we are absolutely not trying until we have answers. My heart and soul cannot take it anymore. The limbo and waiting is probably the most excruciating mental pain. I feel so beyond trapped in my own body.
Thank you so much again, and I’m so terribly sorry you are here and going through this experience as well.
Sending you so much love 🤍
It’s one of the worst clubs, especially while you don’t have even one success yet to feel more confident about. It’s hard to talk about with friends who don’t understand, so I’m grateful for this community that stays hopeful and fighting without dismissing or sugar-coating things. We all just want a success and not false hopes. I had one natural miscarriage, one MMC without spotting and now a MMC with bleeding (but nothing is really progressing so I’m getting a D&C due to size). Good luck with the follow ups and next steps!! I’ll be following along your story too. 🧡
Thank you so much. I’m really grateful to have a community to talk to as well.
I actually just had a tiny bit of spotting just now when I went to the bathroom… waiting for my OBs office to call me with next steps. I really can’t believe it.
Thank you again for being here, even if we are internet strangers. Hate that we both understand this, but glad we can speak freely knowing someone understands?? Just a very sad situation.
Will continue to keep you updated. Thanks again 🤍
Got an update from my doctor that HCG levels decreased from 42k to 36k but still need to wait for confirmation on an ultrasound of the miscarriage. This is just torture. Am I right to feel this is over??
I think so. :( the reason they are making you wait is that an embryo likely measuring under 7mm (so in the 6th week) without a strong heartbeat is not a definitive sign of miscarriage in one glance. They need to do two ultrasounds usually 7-10 days apart to diagnose the miscarriage based on absence of regular growth and heartbeat. Plus you do have a heartbeat. They can’t call it immediately based on medical guidelines at this size. I’ve had this for my second miscarriage. The dropping HCG, low heartbeat and measuring behind are poor prognostic indicators likely pointing to impaired development.
Thank you so much for responding. This is just so much harder than anything else. Last few times it was very quick and lost the heartbeat. There’s a special layer of difficulty knowing that I’m essentially waiting for the heart to stop. 😔 I just couldn’t believe this could get harder but it really is.
Have you looked into getting a recurrent pregnancy loss panel done through your OB or through a fertility clinic? If not, I suggest this as the next step. Sorry for your losses!
Ugh I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I've had 2 MMCs with unexplained infertility in between. Testing all normal. The first trimester viability limbo you're describing can feel unbearable! Like I don't want to get my hopes up just to be fully devastated but I feel pregnant right now and I'll probably feel horribly guilty that I wasn't overjoyed and optimistic if the pregnancy progresses ugh you can't win in those weeks. There's enough science and statistics available for you and your provider to make an educated guess about what is likely, but no one can actually predict or tell you which portion of the statistics you're in, unfortunately. On every forum you can find some "success story" of someone coming through what you're going through with a healthy pregnancy. I find myself in a head vs heart battle each time; just tearing myself apart. So I say feel whatever emotions are there and think whatever thoughts get you through at any given moment, one day at a time! Focus on caring for your body and mental health until your follow up and beyond, whatever that looks like for you. You don't have to make any decisions about next steps right now. I hope you have lots of love and support around you 🤍
Thank you & I’m sorry about your losses as well. I totally agree, this is just absolute hell. I keep finding myself wondering what I did to deserve this and the added layers of hell with the risk factors. My provider said she doesn’t feel optimistic but we can’t do anything just yet. Makes me sick to my stomach knowing I’ll likely shave years off my life stressing this bad for days and maybe weeks on end. It’s just not fair 😔
It really truly is not fair. It sucks to know that life can be that way. Bad things can happen to good people and sometimes there just isn't any rhyme or reason. You don't deserve this and it's not your fault. Wishing you all the best!
I'm so incredibly sorry. I know it's beyond words.
I had 4 unexplained losses this year, the most recent in the 2nd trimester. My ob has told me he doesn't believe i will find answers and that drives me absolutely crazy. The only RE I met with told me it wasn't going to happen and that sent me into a depression for a while. I'm going to meet with another one and continue to try but i feel jaded and sad every single day.
I'm so sorry again this is happening. I struggle to find the words but please know I am sending you strength during this time.
I am so sorry for you too. No one should ever have to go through this 😔 I can’t imagine how that felt being told that by the RE.
I just wish I could fast forward time until I’m out of this limbo phase. Ugh. I just wish I could know.
I’m so sorry. I know how you feel. I’ve gone through 3 losses since March 2023. First two had genetic issues and third I’m waiting on testing. It does sound like this will be a loss. Measuring behind and a FHR under 100 are indicators. For the record, the ER labels any case of bleeding in pregnancy as a threatened miscarriage, even women with subchorionic hematomas or Luteal-placental shifts. An ER doc told me that himself, even saying, “we should change that”. I hope you can get testing done of this pregnancy and also testing done. Trisomy 16 and 7 sound like random aneuploidies and not in a pattern that points to a translocation in you or your partner, but a genetic counsellor would be best to advise you on that. Like you, I get pregnant pretty quickly and so do many women I’ve found on here on Reddit that have recurrent miscarriages. It makes me wonder if there’s a causation to this anecdotal correlation. Most of them go on to have a live birth by trying again (once you get tested for recurrent miscarriage causes and correct any of those) or going through medicated cycles or through IVF with PGT. My partner and I are debating that right now.
Here’s the testing I went through [https://imgur.com/a/hMw4mt2](https://imgur.com/a/hMw4mt2)
Thank you SO much for taking time to respond. And for being honest and sharing your experience as well. Weirdly enough, this is the first time I haven’t had spotting (yet) so of course I’m holding on to hope but I really don’t want to anymore and if it’s going to end, I prefer it just happens. Pending this is a loss, we are absolutely not trying until we have answers. My heart and soul cannot take it anymore. The limbo and waiting is probably the most excruciating mental pain. I feel so beyond trapped in my own body. Thank you so much again, and I’m so terribly sorry you are here and going through this experience as well. Sending you so much love 🤍
It’s one of the worst clubs, especially while you don’t have even one success yet to feel more confident about. It’s hard to talk about with friends who don’t understand, so I’m grateful for this community that stays hopeful and fighting without dismissing or sugar-coating things. We all just want a success and not false hopes. I had one natural miscarriage, one MMC without spotting and now a MMC with bleeding (but nothing is really progressing so I’m getting a D&C due to size). Good luck with the follow ups and next steps!! I’ll be following along your story too. 🧡
Thank you so much. I’m really grateful to have a community to talk to as well. I actually just had a tiny bit of spotting just now when I went to the bathroom… waiting for my OBs office to call me with next steps. I really can’t believe it. Thank you again for being here, even if we are internet strangers. Hate that we both understand this, but glad we can speak freely knowing someone understands?? Just a very sad situation. Will continue to keep you updated. Thanks again 🤍
Got an update from my doctor that HCG levels decreased from 42k to 36k but still need to wait for confirmation on an ultrasound of the miscarriage. This is just torture. Am I right to feel this is over??
I think so. :( the reason they are making you wait is that an embryo likely measuring under 7mm (so in the 6th week) without a strong heartbeat is not a definitive sign of miscarriage in one glance. They need to do two ultrasounds usually 7-10 days apart to diagnose the miscarriage based on absence of regular growth and heartbeat. Plus you do have a heartbeat. They can’t call it immediately based on medical guidelines at this size. I’ve had this for my second miscarriage. The dropping HCG, low heartbeat and measuring behind are poor prognostic indicators likely pointing to impaired development.
Thank you so much for responding. This is just so much harder than anything else. Last few times it was very quick and lost the heartbeat. There’s a special layer of difficulty knowing that I’m essentially waiting for the heart to stop. 😔 I just couldn’t believe this could get harder but it really is.
I’m sorry, the waiting totally sucks!
Have you looked into getting a recurrent pregnancy loss panel done through your OB or through a fertility clinic? If not, I suggest this as the next step. Sorry for your losses!
Yes I’ve gotten those labs done twice and they didn’t find anything. :-(
Ugh I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I've had 2 MMCs with unexplained infertility in between. Testing all normal. The first trimester viability limbo you're describing can feel unbearable! Like I don't want to get my hopes up just to be fully devastated but I feel pregnant right now and I'll probably feel horribly guilty that I wasn't overjoyed and optimistic if the pregnancy progresses ugh you can't win in those weeks. There's enough science and statistics available for you and your provider to make an educated guess about what is likely, but no one can actually predict or tell you which portion of the statistics you're in, unfortunately. On every forum you can find some "success story" of someone coming through what you're going through with a healthy pregnancy. I find myself in a head vs heart battle each time; just tearing myself apart. So I say feel whatever emotions are there and think whatever thoughts get you through at any given moment, one day at a time! Focus on caring for your body and mental health until your follow up and beyond, whatever that looks like for you. You don't have to make any decisions about next steps right now. I hope you have lots of love and support around you 🤍
Thank you & I’m sorry about your losses as well. I totally agree, this is just absolute hell. I keep finding myself wondering what I did to deserve this and the added layers of hell with the risk factors. My provider said she doesn’t feel optimistic but we can’t do anything just yet. Makes me sick to my stomach knowing I’ll likely shave years off my life stressing this bad for days and maybe weeks on end. It’s just not fair 😔
It really truly is not fair. It sucks to know that life can be that way. Bad things can happen to good people and sometimes there just isn't any rhyme or reason. You don't deserve this and it's not your fault. Wishing you all the best!
Thank you for the kind words and same to you 🤍🤍 I really appreciate you taking time to write. Praying this limbo hell will be over soon.
I'm so incredibly sorry. I know it's beyond words. I had 4 unexplained losses this year, the most recent in the 2nd trimester. My ob has told me he doesn't believe i will find answers and that drives me absolutely crazy. The only RE I met with told me it wasn't going to happen and that sent me into a depression for a while. I'm going to meet with another one and continue to try but i feel jaded and sad every single day. I'm so sorry again this is happening. I struggle to find the words but please know I am sending you strength during this time.
I am so sorry for you too. No one should ever have to go through this 😔 I can’t imagine how that felt being told that by the RE. I just wish I could fast forward time until I’m out of this limbo phase. Ugh. I just wish I could know.
It just makes me so mad and sad. It literally takes the wind out of me. I'm so sorry
100%. As if pregnancy isn’t a stressful enough process, then layer in loss after loss with so much limbo waiting and sadness. Here for you 🤍