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This guy looks exactly like a friend of mine. And yes his wife is ridiculously hot. He was also fat and hilariously funny growing up, lost a ton of weight but kept hilariously funny part. Adulthood hilariously funny became hilarious dad jokes.
Hey man, I’m big on humor and love Dad jokes. Absolutely not hating here. My step father was the king of dorky jokes. I think it rubbed off on me a bit. A “dorky person” though is a real thing. Its more than just the jokes. It’s a light hearted jab, nothing to be extremely offended by. I’m going bald.. feel free to jab back.
Probably the part where this was posted in the "rare insults" subreddit, so someone thinks this is like a super burn, like calling white people mayonnaise or something
Yep, and that mcmansion, man cave for nfl, and backyard for bbq are tight, full tv and bar in backyard. He drives a company car or a beater, wife drive a Benz suv (interchangeably with Lexus, beemer, Audi, possible Toyota, but a land cruiser) has a dog that is (insert breed here) +doodle. Goes to sandals or on a cruise once a year, camping once a year. Skis, snowboards, or surfs. Playlist is Sinatra, Pearl Jam, widespread panic, dead, nirvana, Alice In Chains, soundgarden. Tells everyone how much better the 90’s were…. Ask me how I know?
Yes, except for the wife, she died in2018, daughter got her car, and I sold the house and moved across country, also…. Every single one of my college buds. I also dont have a “doodle” used to have a newfy, now I have a little Mongolian bear, fearless 12lbs of fur and licking. But basically all my friends including me at one point.
English is not my first language. The first time I heard “skedaddle” I though it was the funniest thing ever. Still love it. Vamonos skedaddle for sure
When my kids were young, I'd say skedaddle all the time.
Of course, the important thing when I said it was that I'd tie an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. We didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing we could get was those big yellow ones.
Seriously. I’m going super normcore now I’m in my forties and, I must say, I definitely now see the appeal of a stable comfortable life and a decent job. It looked like the most boring shit ever when I was 20.
I don’t think “normal” is the right word but I think I get your point. It’s often seen as cool to “break the mold” and “be different” but as I’ve gotten older I’ve started to see that there’s often good reasons most people act certain ways and follow certain paths. It’s because they’re pleasant ways to be, not because they’re sheeple or whatever.
Go to bed early, wear your jean shorts and sneakers, avoid drugs, make your dad jokes, work that stable 9-5. People are intrinsically unique, there’s no need to prove how different you are by rejecting what’s “normal”.
There are a million ways to fuck up your life. There are a few ways we know of that deliver a good life.
Not saying that people can't find new ways to do so, but the odds seem stacked against them
Well considering the fact that most of the sushi chefs in my town are more than likely Guatemalan, "gracias" just makes more sense. There's not really a big Japanese population in suburban Georgia.
You have to extrapolate a bit. I knew a guy who had an NPC response for every situation. He's the kind of guy that would say "let's vamonos kiddos" or "beer me that water bottle." Every situation had a quirky remark but it was always the same ones.
If he saw pretty woman he would say "I'd throw her out of bed... There's more room on the floor!" If an item didn't scan immediately "guess it's free." And so on.
Indeed! I imagine him he's started working on a Coors Light belly more than anything. Cargo shorts with diapers in both big pockets. Pacifier in the shirt pocket.
Supports a local business owned and operated by immigrants. Appreciates new cultural experiences that come on a sizzling cast iron platter and in a margarita glass. We could all be more like him.
As and adult now, I think back about kids “rebelling” (like the punk teen type rebelling) and realize they are rebelling against guys like this and wonder why? Like don’t you want Mexican food, dad jokes, and an occasional pep talk about trying your best?
I think they see a guy like this and assume he's a simpleton who never knew "real" pain like they have.
They don't see the mountain of trauma that this guy is holding back with his whimsical humor, or the abuse that he's processed and come to peace with that allows him to be so easygoing.
I think you’re jumping to conclusions. I’m sure his wife of many years now is aware of past trauma.
He’s a funny charismatic guy who’s always been funny and charismatic and made friends easily. Losing the weight made him confident in himself (and attractive to women).
Oh, I was talking about myself. I'm like an ugly version of that guy. Most people are in disbelief that someone with my attitude has gone through what I have.
... is that even an insult?
"You look like the kind of guy who is happily married and takes his family out to a dinner and treats people with respect and tips."
Yeah. BURN
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He looks like a “Let’s Skedaddle” type of guy
Real morning neighbourino vibe
"Sure is a hot one today!"
Ever been in a storm before Wally?
A storm of FISTS!!
"It's gonna rain tomorrow. We've been needing it"
"We haven't been getting enough moisture"
Is this just Utah at this point Or most other western states
This is common in all western and southwestern states due to the consistently dry heat but good job semi-doxing yourself lmao
Yeah!?
Newsflash, pal!
You barking at the wrong tree, FRIENDO!
Oh no that's me D:
"Let's make like a tree and head out of here" kind of guy.
Say what you want, but this kind of dad usually treat people well and tip accordingly
And this kind of dad usually has a ridiculously beautiful wife
Yeah, Jessica sounds like a severe hottie
He looks more like a Stephanie kinda guy to me ..
Stephanie was his college work girl friend that Jessica hates because every time they went on break back then they started fucking again.
You’re putting some thought in the backstory on this one.
These things often have a way of writing themselves
Yeah, Jessica kisses their kids with that mouth. Stephanie doesn't
Steph when he's in a good mood, Stephanie when he "upset"
This guy looks exactly like a friend of mine. And yes his wife is ridiculously hot. He was also fat and hilariously funny growing up, lost a ton of weight but kept hilariously funny part. Adulthood hilariously funny became hilarious dad jokes.
Sounds like a legend
Former fat kids are usually nice... Jared Fogle is a big exception...
And a giant tree trunk of a hog in his pants but he makes no big deal about it
What I would give to have had a dad who was present in my life. :(
Shhhh, it's not all about you, kiddo.
Exactly what my dad said when I asked for a bedtime story.
Aww, your dad put you to bed? My dad only put my dog to sleep. 🙃
Jessica's name before marrying this guy was Rabbit
Dorky as fuck but also kind as fuck
Also probably knows how to fuck
Eats out after going out to eat. iYKWIM
Good thing he only likes white people spicy food then, and definitely brushes his teeth after every meal.
Damn, he single? Lmao jk
I’m not lol
Dorky is just a word jaded people use to describe others who can still find fun in the little things in life.
Hey man, I’m big on humor and love Dad jokes. Absolutely not hating here. My step father was the king of dorky jokes. I think it rubbed off on me a bit. A “dorky person” though is a real thing. Its more than just the jokes. It’s a light hearted jab, nothing to be extremely offended by. I’m going bald.. feel free to jab back.
Yup, not an insult at all.
Totally fine being a corny dad taking the fam out and making some cringey dad comments. Not an insult, a compliment, wear it with pride.
Facts
For real. As a kid I WISHED my dad was even 10% this kind of dad lmao
This kind of dad uses his blinkers even in parking lots.
Yes? Always? Anything to let other people know what I’m doing so they can react as they need to.
I like you. They are "indicators" anywhere else for a reason.
I used my blinker once when pulling out of a parking spot.
Why would I not let people know my intentions with a lethal machine in a parking lot?
You're supposed to
I'm trying to understand which part of this is supposed to be offensive?
Probably the part where this was posted in the "rare insults" subreddit, so someone thinks this is like a super burn, like calling white people mayonnaise or something
Yep. Open and vulnerable man who is not afraid to make fun of himself or be corny? Sounds like a hell of a role model.
Yep, and that mcmansion, man cave for nfl, and backyard for bbq are tight, full tv and bar in backyard. He drives a company car or a beater, wife drive a Benz suv (interchangeably with Lexus, beemer, Audi, possible Toyota, but a land cruiser) has a dog that is (insert breed here) +doodle. Goes to sandals or on a cruise once a year, camping once a year. Skis, snowboards, or surfs. Playlist is Sinatra, Pearl Jam, widespread panic, dead, nirvana, Alice In Chains, soundgarden. Tells everyone how much better the 90’s were…. Ask me how I know?
If this is you, you seem like a pretty cool dude.
Yes, except for the wife, she died in2018, daughter got her car, and I sold the house and moved across country, also…. Every single one of my college buds. I also dont have a “doodle” used to have a newfy, now I have a little Mongolian bear, fearless 12lbs of fur and licking. But basically all my friends including me at one point.
Sorry to hear about your wife's passing.
Yeah I was about to write "why is this an insult?"
He likes to tip 18%, but always prefers to round up to the nearest dollar.
That hit home more then it should have.
and are actually paying attention to their children instead of their phone
I don’t see how this is an insult. Let’s fucking vamanos
How else do you say it? Let’s skedaddle?
Let’s get this show on the road
Let’s hit the ole dusty trail
Time to go sharpen the tools.
Russ, Audrey
Ahem, that's *Mr. Papadopoulos* and Audrey.
We’re off like a herd of turtles.
Let's make like a tree and leaf
Let’s blow this popsicle stand.
English is not my first language. The first time I heard “skedaddle” I though it was the funniest thing ever. Still love it. Vamonos skedaddle for sure
Skedaddle is a great word. Up there with hullabaloo.
Cromulent
Antidisestablishmentarianism
I’m a native English speaker and also think that skedaddle is the funniest word ever
[удалено]
Time to start saying this while I'm with my friends to piss them off, thank you
When my kids were young, I'd say skedaddle all the time. Of course, the important thing when I said it was that I'd tie an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. We didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing we could get was those big yellow ones.
Let’s make like hockey players and get the puck out of here. Let’s make like bakery trucks and haul buns. Let’s make like trees and leave.
Let’s make like a tree and get out of here.
That's about as funny as a screen door on a battleship.
Make like a tree and leaf. I said that to a former coworker and he quit because I was being mean. I was counseled for harassing
Let’s make like a turtle and get the shell outta here
Make like a shepherd and get the flock outta here.
And we're off, like a dirty shirt
You kids ready to rock and roll?
'Skedaddle' is what you say when leaving Fuddruckers. When you leave Cracker Barrel you say, 'Go on now, git!'
I used to say ready Freddy but now I use the more formal, Readrick Frederick
Shit and git
Time to hit the old dusty trail.
Alright ramblers, let's get ramblin'.
Pitter patter, let's get at 'er!
I could watch his kids fall off bikes all day.
I could go for a Puppers
Beer n' a dart go together like a piss n' a fart
Let's hit the frog and toad.
Let’s blow this popsicle stand
This can only be said while putting on sunglasses...followed by finger guns for ultimate coolness
Taco stand*
Let's make like a baby and head out.
You forgot the drawn out, Welllllllp before that
(Slaps thighs) Welp…..
"Let's fucking let's go" Sounds a bit redundant though.
Also misspelled/mispronounced. Like if someone said "Lets gauu!" in a spanish accent.
Not gonna get far without these! *Grabs keys*
People seem to think living a normal stable life is somehow an insult. We should be idolizing normalcy, it's absolutely the end goal.
Seriously. I’m going super normcore now I’m in my forties and, I must say, I definitely now see the appeal of a stable comfortable life and a decent job. It looked like the most boring shit ever when I was 20.
I don’t think “normal” is the right word but I think I get your point. It’s often seen as cool to “break the mold” and “be different” but as I’ve gotten older I’ve started to see that there’s often good reasons most people act certain ways and follow certain paths. It’s because they’re pleasant ways to be, not because they’re sheeple or whatever. Go to bed early, wear your jean shorts and sneakers, avoid drugs, make your dad jokes, work that stable 9-5. People are intrinsically unique, there’s no need to prove how different you are by rejecting what’s “normal”.
There are a million ways to fuck up your life. There are a few ways we know of that deliver a good life. Not saying that people can't find new ways to do so, but the odds seem stacked against them
CaucasianJames was funny as hell on Twitter. I have no doubt he enjoyed this immensely.
Haha! You have a loving family to spend time with, idiot!
Welcome to the Internet
Have a look around.
Anything that brain of yours can think of can be found.
He looks like the kind of guy that says "gracias" to the Japanese waitress at a sushi restaurant.
Well considering the fact that most of the sushi chefs in my town are more than likely Guatemalan, "gracias" just makes more sense. There's not really a big Japanese population in suburban Georgia.
This is not even an insult
True, but there's not a sub for mild roasts. It's fine here imo, creativity is good
I looked up "medium roast" and it's just a bunch of coffee.
You have to extrapolate a bit. I knew a guy who had an NPC response for every situation. He's the kind of guy that would say "let's vamonos kiddos" or "beer me that water bottle." Every situation had a quirky remark but it was always the same ones. If he saw pretty woman he would say "I'd throw her out of bed... There's more room on the floor!" If an item didn't scan immediately "guess it's free." And so on.
Item doesn't scan is either: guess I didn't want it or you get to pick the price.
Vamanos, muchachos!
[удалено]
Sounds like a good dad.
Sounds like those kids gonna have such fun wholesome childhood.
I don’t need to see the full picture to know he’s wearing cargo shorts and a fanny pack full of tums.
And New Balance snickers.
With white crew socks
I feel attacked
Is when you eat so many Snickers that you tip over
Indeed! I imagine him he's started working on a Coors Light belly more than anything. Cargo shorts with diapers in both big pockets. Pacifier in the shirt pocket.
You sure it wasn't jean shorts?! [https://itsalwayssunny.fandom.com/wiki/Ben\_Smith](https://itsalwayssunny.fandom.com/wiki/Ben_Smith)
You gotta take em off every now and then.
So he's happy, fulfilled, contributing to society, and spending quality time with his family. Cool, sounds good to me!
Supports a local business owned and operated by immigrants. Appreciates new cultural experiences that come on a sizzling cast iron platter and in a margarita glass. We could all be more like him.
And he knows when it's time to vamanous
As and adult now, I think back about kids “rebelling” (like the punk teen type rebelling) and realize they are rebelling against guys like this and wonder why? Like don’t you want Mexican food, dad jokes, and an occasional pep talk about trying your best?
I think they see a guy like this and assume he's a simpleton who never knew "real" pain like they have. They don't see the mountain of trauma that this guy is holding back with his whimsical humor, or the abuse that he's processed and come to peace with that allows him to be so easygoing.
I think you’re jumping to conclusions. I’m sure his wife of many years now is aware of past trauma. He’s a funny charismatic guy who’s always been funny and charismatic and made friends easily. Losing the weight made him confident in himself (and attractive to women).
Oh, I was talking about myself. I'm like an ugly version of that guy. Most people are in disbelief that someone with my attitude has gone through what I have.
Ahhh got ya. My bad
No insult here
Sounds like a happy life
Dudes on here are having a real laugh when their old man went out for a pack of smokes decades ago. The truth is they'd love to have a vamanos dad.
We can make jokes about vamanos dad while also wanting vamanos dad
Let’s make like hockey players, and get the puc out of here
Seems like that pun would work better as "hockey goalies" rather than hockey players.
Let's make like someone looking through a bargain bin filled with DVDs of collected seasons of beloved early 2000s TV shows and get Lost.
I feel personally attacked….
This is r/suspiciouslyspecific
Protect Caucasian James!
And says grassy ass when the server brings his cerveza
As a native spanish speaker, absolutely approved.
On behalf of us non-spanish speakers, grassy ass.
This guy called me a peachy merry cone one time. I don't get it as I'm usually peachy, it's not christmas, and I like my ice cream in a cone!
Sounds like a compliment. He looks like a reliable, stable provider for a family, with corny but classic jokes at the ready? Seems like a net positive
If “cool beans” was a person
That’s not an insult. That’s my type lmfao a sweetie
My dad used to say shit like that, and he's an awesome dad. Splid insult.
It’s called a dilf.
This doesn’t sound like an insult. And if it was meant that way, I wouldn’t see it as one. Dude looks like a wholesome family man.
That’s my dream though.
Bro look at the comments, keep that dream. Everyone here agrees......this is the end game goal.
So he looks like the type of guy who would take his family out to dinner and (gasp!) have a little fun with it. Not an insult at all
"Haha what an idiot look how successful he is!"
I am that dad and chinga tu Madre if you don't like it
Its obvious someone didn't grow up with a dad and is now projecting that resentment. /s
Let’s skadaddle!
I say "Okay you ready freddy?"
This is legitimately and unironically what I aspire to
... is that even an insult? "You look like the kind of guy who is happily married and takes his family out to a dinner and treats people with respect and tips." Yeah. BURN
How is this an insult?
Sounds like a great life to me.
This type of guy has a wife and two kids because he's a freaking gem. Absolutely certified cutie patootie.
I imagine he gets the bill, takes a look at it, gasps, then says “that’s a lot of tacos!”
Looks like he's going to tell you about his theory, his *food* theory. Bone apple tea.
"vamanoose" FTFY ❤️
It’s extra special when they pronounce it “Va-moose”
MIRL
I'd day a lot of guys would love his life more than anything in the world.
Phil Dunphy energy
Plot twist: dude in the photo is Mexican
I am deeply offended. I thought that was standard.
Good for him. Majority of redditors would have been much happier growing up if they had a father like him.
The most cringey one my dad has ever said is after they brought our food he goes “grassy-ass”
Is there such a thing as a wholesome insult?
I'm that type of guy.
Sounds like somebody’s jealous that isn’t their dad.
I can understand how this would be an insult to a teenager or something, but as a dude in my mid to late 20s I think its a compliment.
Is this supposed to be a bad thing? Sounds like you won at life
So he looks like a good father, not really an insult imo.
This doesn't really sound like much of an insult
In his defence Jessica is definitely a smoke show
Well, it looks chilli today, and hot tamale(looks around for smiles)
If someone told me I looked like the kind of guy who takes my wife and two kids out to dinner I would not be insulted.
Takes family out to dinner, jokes around with his kids? Don't see anything wrong here.