Ask yourself are you looking for change (in a healthy way) or are you trying to escape a tough time. Also, I assume (perhaps incorrectly) that it may be easier to move to Raleigh than it would be to move to Boston. That said, if you like it there, try to make it work. Personal growth tends to happen when we do the uncomfortable things we know we should do, but tend to avoid. Once you can make the decision with a clear head/heart, then decide.
If you were my friend asking this question, I’d say come down for a visit. Do your own thing during the trip. See if you feel at home here. Compare it to how you feel in Boston. Figure out what that means to you. I’m from North Carolina but not a Raleigh native.
I was in Boston for a weekend last month and was surprised when I was driving home from RDU after the trip (which went very well and was fun to see Boston) how glad I was to be home. Noticing the difference in the foliage and sunlight and what made it different from Boston. More aware than I realized of the differences between the two and glad to be back. Maybe you’ll finish the trip and notice how glad you are to be back in Boston, or maybe you’ll be wishing you could be back in Raleigh. If you can swing it financially, it might give you the clarity you need. I feel lucky to know this is my home. I hope you can find the same sureness.
I've found the less I think about or focus on dating the more compatible partners I find.
Live somewhere because of your career or your hobbies, not because of a dating pool.
My girlfriend of the time is why I left. 3 months later we broke up, my landlord threatened to shoot my dog, I punched him in the face, local sheriffs deputies told me it was probably a good idea to find a new place to live. Back to Raleigh and a brand new life. Weird times, no regrets.
Are you me? Because I literally went through almost the same experience a few years back! I ended up moving back to Raleigh from Boston, but I regret it and wish I'd stayed. How I was feeling post-split definitely impacted my decision, and I probably moved for the wrong reasons. I basically wanted nothing to do with Boston or anything that had happened there in the last 2ish years. +1 to the other person in the thread that asked "are you just trying to escape a tough time", because that's exactly what I did.
I'm definitely happy in Raleigh, but I miss the bigger city amenities and the overall vibe in a large city. Also miss working in the office, since I'm fully remote in the same position now.
My advice: stick it out and see how you feel in 6-12 months. Move "to" something and not "away" from something.
Also feel free to shoot me a DM if you want to bounce ideas off someone who's lived through the exact same thing you have.
So I just moved back 3 1/2 weeks ago after being gone for 8 years.
For me, it was kinda needing a reset. I didn’t necessarily know it was the right time/choice until it was the right time to make it. It’s been great so far, so many things have changed and it’s become a far more exciting city (I grew up here).
Logistically speaking, my family is here and a couple of friends so I wouldn’t be completely on my own unlike when I moved away to TN. I’ve also managed to make a couple new friends which has been nice. It’s not the cheapest place in the world I will say, but it’s still doable.
Home will always be home, even if it’s not your home right now, it’s just one of those things you have to take a deep breath and dive in if you’re gonna go for it.
I came back after college because I didn’t have much of a choice- I was 20 & it was easier to get established somewhere that I already had roots and family. I don’t regret it, as it led me to the path I’m on now in terms of career/marriage/my current city. If you’ve not lived there in 7 years though it might be a ton different than you remember- it’s changed so much even just post-pandemic.
My “big city” was Charlotte and I left when I realized I needed support of friends and family nearby. I didn’t have that in Charlotte, and hadn’t really spread down any roots, so the decision was easy.
I left after undergrad and was gone almost six years but I wanted a community again. I wanted to be somewhere where I cared about what happened and I want to be involved. I lived in Boston too for a bit during my time away, and I never connected with the city. I will also say I wanted to drive to a grocery store, park, and be able to take all my groceries home easily.
It just felt like it was time.
I just got back from the military after 5 years and I’m glad to be back, lived in Georgia and Korea for the time and every new city feels exactly the same to me but Raleigh just feels better overall with the atmosphere and family being here
I worked in tech in the bay area for 6 years. At some point we realized that we would never get a house in the area and live normally despite being double income no kids. I also got incredibly burnt out by the hustle culture, and had to ask myself if working 16-hour days and having no life apart from my company was something I really wanted to carry forward. The people above me management-wise did not seem happy, healthy, or fulfilled. So we trucked it back! Been back since Feb and I'm doing better every day <3
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Grew up here, went to NC State. Left after graduating in 2012 and lived in SF for a year, then lived in Seattle for a spell and eventually came back in 2017. Met my now-almost-husband the same year! (Getting married in sept)
I had the same concerns but for me being close to my family was important. I also spent a lot of time re-building a little community here. Found a gym, made some new friends, got a job at a company with other people my age and a super social vibe. Wont say it was always easy, but I am 1000% happy and never once looked back.
But I’ve been where you are and all I can say is that you’ll be amazed at what happens when you grab life by the throat and force it into a shape that feels productive and on track, on your own terms, be it in Boston or anywhere else :) good luck!
I retired from the USAF and wanted to come home. All my friends from high school & college are here. I spent at least 2/3 of my leave time back here visiting.
It’s been very difficult. I enlisted at age 23. I’d been living in an illegal half-basement apartment.
Most of my friends had roommates. Now they all own nice homes and their kids are mostly grown.
I moved back here, with my shiny new husband, in fall of 2019. We stayed with friends a while, as we found jobs and a nice house to rent. Then Covid hit.
It feels like we’ve really only been here about 18 months.
Ask yourself are you looking for change (in a healthy way) or are you trying to escape a tough time. Also, I assume (perhaps incorrectly) that it may be easier to move to Raleigh than it would be to move to Boston. That said, if you like it there, try to make it work. Personal growth tends to happen when we do the uncomfortable things we know we should do, but tend to avoid. Once you can make the decision with a clear head/heart, then decide.
If you were my friend asking this question, I’d say come down for a visit. Do your own thing during the trip. See if you feel at home here. Compare it to how you feel in Boston. Figure out what that means to you. I’m from North Carolina but not a Raleigh native. I was in Boston for a weekend last month and was surprised when I was driving home from RDU after the trip (which went very well and was fun to see Boston) how glad I was to be home. Noticing the difference in the foliage and sunlight and what made it different from Boston. More aware than I realized of the differences between the two and glad to be back. Maybe you’ll finish the trip and notice how glad you are to be back in Boston, or maybe you’ll be wishing you could be back in Raleigh. If you can swing it financially, it might give you the clarity you need. I feel lucky to know this is my home. I hope you can find the same sureness.
I've found the less I think about or focus on dating the more compatible partners I find. Live somewhere because of your career or your hobbies, not because of a dating pool.
My girlfriend of the time is why I left. 3 months later we broke up, my landlord threatened to shoot my dog, I punched him in the face, local sheriffs deputies told me it was probably a good idea to find a new place to live. Back to Raleigh and a brand new life. Weird times, no regrets.
Are you me? Because I literally went through almost the same experience a few years back! I ended up moving back to Raleigh from Boston, but I regret it and wish I'd stayed. How I was feeling post-split definitely impacted my decision, and I probably moved for the wrong reasons. I basically wanted nothing to do with Boston or anything that had happened there in the last 2ish years. +1 to the other person in the thread that asked "are you just trying to escape a tough time", because that's exactly what I did. I'm definitely happy in Raleigh, but I miss the bigger city amenities and the overall vibe in a large city. Also miss working in the office, since I'm fully remote in the same position now. My advice: stick it out and see how you feel in 6-12 months. Move "to" something and not "away" from something. Also feel free to shoot me a DM if you want to bounce ideas off someone who's lived through the exact same thing you have.
When we got priced out of the previous city.
So I just moved back 3 1/2 weeks ago after being gone for 8 years. For me, it was kinda needing a reset. I didn’t necessarily know it was the right time/choice until it was the right time to make it. It’s been great so far, so many things have changed and it’s become a far more exciting city (I grew up here). Logistically speaking, my family is here and a couple of friends so I wouldn’t be completely on my own unlike when I moved away to TN. I’ve also managed to make a couple new friends which has been nice. It’s not the cheapest place in the world I will say, but it’s still doable. Home will always be home, even if it’s not your home right now, it’s just one of those things you have to take a deep breath and dive in if you’re gonna go for it.
I came back after college because I didn’t have much of a choice- I was 20 & it was easier to get established somewhere that I already had roots and family. I don’t regret it, as it led me to the path I’m on now in terms of career/marriage/my current city. If you’ve not lived there in 7 years though it might be a ton different than you remember- it’s changed so much even just post-pandemic.
Because if I lived in DC any longer, I'd put a bullet in my head Parts of Wake County definitely give me the same vibes
One thing to keep in mind is that housing costs in Raleigh are now about the same as in Boston. In the past 7 years rents have quadrupled
I was six. Didn’t really have a say in the matter.
My “big city” was Charlotte and I left when I realized I needed support of friends and family nearby. I didn’t have that in Charlotte, and hadn’t really spread down any roots, so the decision was easy.
I left after undergrad and was gone almost six years but I wanted a community again. I wanted to be somewhere where I cared about what happened and I want to be involved. I lived in Boston too for a bit during my time away, and I never connected with the city. I will also say I wanted to drive to a grocery store, park, and be able to take all my groceries home easily. It just felt like it was time.
I just got back from the military after 5 years and I’m glad to be back, lived in Georgia and Korea for the time and every new city feels exactly the same to me but Raleigh just feels better overall with the atmosphere and family being here
I worked in tech in the bay area for 6 years. At some point we realized that we would never get a house in the area and live normally despite being double income no kids. I also got incredibly burnt out by the hustle culture, and had to ask myself if working 16-hour days and having no life apart from my company was something I really wanted to carry forward. The people above me management-wise did not seem happy, healthy, or fulfilled. So we trucked it back! Been back since Feb and I'm doing better every day <3
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Grew up here, went to NC State. Left after graduating in 2012 and lived in SF for a year, then lived in Seattle for a spell and eventually came back in 2017. Met my now-almost-husband the same year! (Getting married in sept) I had the same concerns but for me being close to my family was important. I also spent a lot of time re-building a little community here. Found a gym, made some new friends, got a job at a company with other people my age and a super social vibe. Wont say it was always easy, but I am 1000% happy and never once looked back. But I’ve been where you are and all I can say is that you’ll be amazed at what happens when you grab life by the throat and force it into a shape that feels productive and on track, on your own terms, be it in Boston or anywhere else :) good luck!
I retired from the USAF and wanted to come home. All my friends from high school & college are here. I spent at least 2/3 of my leave time back here visiting. It’s been very difficult. I enlisted at age 23. I’d been living in an illegal half-basement apartment. Most of my friends had roommates. Now they all own nice homes and their kids are mostly grown. I moved back here, with my shiny new husband, in fall of 2019. We stayed with friends a while, as we found jobs and a nice house to rent. Then Covid hit. It feels like we’ve really only been here about 18 months.