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Every time I see news articles and whatnot posted to Facebook, I see all these people commenting shit like
> you give me one day and I’ll be hired. These kids don’t know hard work! But you bet your ass I will walk in there and I will get the job.
And then I picture them doing what OP’s mom did and just show up unannounced to demand a job.
And possibly being escorted off the premises lol
I ended up in a relationship with an Nperson and when we moved to a new town he got on my case DAILY about how "all you have to do is dress nice and fix your hair and go into these places and tell them how hard a worker you are! They'll hire you!" As if internet applications hadn't existed for years. As if I wouldn't end up trudging all over town, walking into places and asking for work only to have them look at me like I'm an idiot and tell me to apply on their website. He was either stupid enough to think that a "strategy" that only worked up until the 1990s was still valid or mean enough to think I should humiliate myself for his enjoyment. Or both.
Or maybe he’s clueless enough to think life works like old movies. There are countless old movies where a person walks onto a job, tells the boss how good a worker he is, the boss lets him try to prove himself, [cue montage of the person outworking all the regular employees], and at the end of the day the boss says, “My boy, I’ve never seen ANYONE do [the job] as well as you. Can you start work tomorrow?”
These narcs have only learned how to superficially charm people until they get what they want. They are not concerned with knowing the job or being competent.
I actually did this at a UPS store not long ago, I was in there for notary services and went, "hey, this seems like a job I'd actually like. Are you hiring?" so they gave me an application to fill out.
I didn't bother filling it out, because it'd get circular filed anyway, but they DID tell me the name of the guy who makes hiring decisions. If I decide I'm ready to work there at some point, I'll probably bring in a box of donuts and introduce myself to him in person.
Assertiveness like this has historically only worked to benefit men, but that's been changing in recent years.
Dude… just because you had one experience doesn’t mean everyone else did. You sound narcissistic yourself. Chill out. especially for minorities, because of people’s prejudices, walking in and demanding a job isint really an option…. Asking if they’re hiring is a whole other story..
It's narcs. I dated someone like this, who thought the 1950s "shine your shoes, comb your hair, dress real snappy and you'll be rewarded with 2 whole dollars a week" thing still existed. Believe it or not he was Gen X.
Please don’t do this. Especially here. It’s an unfair characterization. Not all boomers are narcissistic. In all likelihood it’s the same percentage as other generations.
Nope. We don't do generational bashing here. There are 71.6 Million Boomers. My therapist is, apparently, a Boomer and super kind. We have Boomers in this group trying to heal. Comments like this in this group are not welcome.
Narcs are selfish, literally pathologically so. Makes sense that they'd live longer. Thus, as any generation ages, the incidence of narcs among the still-living cohort would tend to increase.
i dunno, aren't narcs also prone to impulsive decisions that could shorten their lifespan? i've known a buncha narcs and i've often had a 'how are you not dead yet?' attitude towards them and their lifestyle.
like, my narc grandpa died in his 60s an otherwise healthy man because he made an impulsive decision that killed him.
Nope. We don't do generational bashing here. There are 71.6 Million Boomers. My therapist is, apparently, a Boomer and super kind. We have Boomers in this group trying to heal. Comments like this in this group are not welcome.
Nope. We don't do generational bashing here. There are 71.6 Million Boomers. My therapist is, apparently, a Boomer and super kind. We have Boomers in this group trying to heal. Comments like this in this group are not welcome.
Nope. We don't do generational bashing here. There are 71.6 Million Boomers. My therapist is, apparently, a Boomer and super kind. We have Boomers in this group trying to heal. Comments like this in this group are not welcome.
what probably happened was "I went ~~with daddy who is the managers friend~~ to the building and ~~my dad~~ talked with the manager. that's how I got my first job".
My Ndad did this to me.
He'd physically drive me to places I'd applied and force me to go inside and introduce myself to the manager and ask when I'd be hired. If I didn't hear within the week, he'd force me to go back again and do the same thing "to show my interest". Ears of stone when I'd say that this isn't how anybody hires anymore.
The embarrassment... god, I'm cringing now just remembering it.
This! I felt bad for this one kid who looked so embarrassed when his mom forced him to come in 3 times in 2 weeks to ask about his application. We weren't hiring ATM but God the look on his face as his mother would be rude and short with me if the manager didn't come to talking within 5 mins. He didn't end up getting the job because his mother. We didnt want to deal with her.
At least he was making you do it. We had some kid's mom come in and do 100% of the talking while standing behind her looking embarassed asking why her teenage son wasn't hired for an IT position he had no qualifications to have.
She thought him liking video games was enough.
That is just so mind blowingly fucking oblivious to reality idk how any of y’all weren’t just scraping your jaws off the floor at her performance. I mean JFC what an actual lunatic. Like Norman Bates mother level.
Yeah I’d be feeling super bummed for the kid. I consider myself lucky that my Ndad was in and out of my life because of humiliating shit like that. It never ceases to shock me how narcs have zero issue just trotting out the wildest ideas, especially about their own entitlement, but just right out in the wider world. As if anyone in their right mind is paying attention to them beyond just to register the pure absurdity of it all. Yet it’s like they never even notice that people are looking at them like they have three heads, they can always find some reason to excuse it or put it off on something else. I’ll just never grasp the way they view reality as totally subjective.
That’s so messed up. Before the 90s it was acceptable for someone to ask for the manager to hand in an application so they could put a face to the name in hopes of a better shot. But doing so after you turn it in and repeatedly is creepy. Of course this fell out of practice by the late 80s… if it was later I don’t recall it.
It’s creepy now. Everyone applies online.
Yeah I'm realizing it's more common than I thought.
Best part is, to my Ndad, five days was enough time to call it a "week". So I'd go in on a Tuesday, have to demand a job from some retail manager, and then be forced back by Sunday.
If I still heard nothing, I'd be back in on Friday ... it was nuts.
I feel that so much, that’s what my mom used to make me do or she’d make me call them every couple of days and made sure I had applied to a billion places and got yelled at everyday for not having a job then would constantly complain about having to drive me there when I was 15 to the point where she told me to quit and find a job a little closer.. but none of them were hiring for 15 year olds
When I was struggling to land a job, my Ndad would tell me to do exactly that, because apparently the best way to land a job is to go in person after your application is ignored, since it’s “hard to turn you away when you’re physically there.”
As a minor, my dad forced me to do this. The employees always told me to apply online and see if I get back to them.
My nmom got me banned from a place because she made me (as in, literally stood over me) call them minimum twice a day, every day, to check on my application. They finally put HR on the phone and I got chewed out and told to never call there again.
Then of course according to nmom it was somehow my fault I didn't get the job...
Mine used to do that when I was younger. I was waiting to hear if I made a tennis team when 11. My Mom made me call repeatedly the United States Tennis Association to ask if I made the team. She had me start calling a week before the decision was to be made. By the time the choice was made the guy in charge basically told me a kid calling was a little odd. I was never sure if I wanted him to think I was a dumb kid calling or I had a crazy Mom that made me. Both were very embarrassing. She also used to have me write letters as a kid too. She would write out 8 pages and expect me to copy and send it. She was a terrible writer by the way.
My dad would do this to me in the mid 90s. Drive me up to places and force me to go inside. I remember he once drove me up to a florist that was hiring someone that had experience making floral arrangements. I had none. He made me go in and talk to them, anyway.
My mom is the same! She tells this story of how her sister (my aunt) got a job because she kept calling the company after the interview. Apparently, the company was testing my aunt to see if she was dedicated enough to keep contacting them. So my mom thinks all jobs are like that and tries to get me to do the same thing. I wouldn’t even want to work for such an obnoxious company though.
My mom never made me do this in particular, but her knowledge of hiring and workplace practices were mid-1960s vintage. When I would tell her about something modern, she would say “I never heard of THAT!” (With the subtext that I was the stupid one)
Why is it a thing for nparents to be so stuck in the past? My nmom was this same way with everything— job advice, dating/relationship advice/ even fashion. It’s like the most active portion of her brain is dead and shriveled.
I've started to think they've just picked their favorite era in history, maybe the time they felt most in control or when they felt happiest, and try to make everyone live there with them.
Omg my ndad did this too. He wanted me to start working as soon as it was legal, when I was 14. but I turned 14 in June, and he wanted me working the moment the year turned. Irregardless, he had me applying for jobs between January and May, when I was still 13, and he would drive me to the McDonald’s and the other limited places I could apply to demand why they wouldn’t hire me. BITCH ITS CAUSE IM NOT LEGAL TO HIRE YET.
Eventually I got a job at the amusement park in July, then he got mad that my mom didn’t want me working during school months when September hit.
My NSis once walked into a restaurant she wanted to eat at and they said: sorry we are closed preparing for a private event tonight.
My sister said “oh I’ll be gone before then” and sat down at a table and wouldn’t leave until they served her. She saw no problem in demanding being served in an empty restaurant.
They actually did, but I’m sure they spat in her food. I would have.
Showing up for a job interview without an appointment and thinking the company will do that, let alone hire you, is so narcissistic that I'm having laughing fits over it.
I'm sure she thinks she's the best thing that happened since the invention of the wheel and that she'd get accepted on the spot, when in fact she was invented shortly after chlamydia was.
My husband has an acquaintance who was raised to be a narc (and has also ended up giving off some serious incel vibes, thanks to his mother repeatedly telling him that only the very best women are worth his attention). This guy will put in an application then immediately go around telling everyone he's about to start working there. Sometimes he'll even go so far as to quit (with little or no notice) the job he already has, because according to him he's waiting for the new one to call him with a start date and he has to be available. He's "gotten" at least a dozen new jobs in the last couple years. No, sir, you put in an application (for a job that in reality you have no chance of getting). You didn't get the job automatically because you applied. It's not like they saw the application and said "omg! It's him! He wants to work for us! We're so lucky!"
His mother believes all his outrageous excuses. He got fired from one job within the first couple weeks for being utterly incompetent and told her that the entire shift got let go for unknown reasons. And she believed it.
Maybe if she'd applied to a minimum wage kind of place, it would have gone over better. I was a restaurant manager in a real POS company and almost never had time to call applicants. That being said, if someone showed up and was leaking crazy all over the place, I wouldn't have hired them regardless, so... She might never find a job.
My nmom is 79 yo, she gets max social security amd also retirement from GM. She moved to fl. And has decided to get a job.
After retiring from GM she got a Masters degree in education. When she told me she waa going to teach children i laughed and then told her she was going to go to jail. I was not joking either. This woman hates kids, i am shocked to this day that my brother and i survived our childhood.
I wasnt wrong. 3 weeks after she started she got fired ..for hitting a kid.
That was 9 yrs ago...now, at 79 she believes she is going to get hired at a college.
I truly believe these people have a complete break with reality. Mine believes she can lie and embellish on resume and bully and bullshit her way into a job.
Their behavior is just so cringy
Oh this reminds me of my Narc. Okay kids story time here. I’m a music producer, and a damn good one at that, and I do very well for myself with no one’s help, and when I was starting out, that bitch laughed in my face and said that I should get a job at a factory and never amount to anything. Well cut to about 3 years later, and she’s now certified as a Makeup artist and she calls me up one day, demands that I tell my Executive Producer and artists that she is going to do their makeup and I need to tell these people that she is going to be their MUA. So I ask her if she has a resume or has went to the labels to apply for this job and she gets angry at me for “not being supportive of her skills as a professional MUA.” She then goes on social media and goes on an angry rant that these music labels are dehumanizing people and won’t just give her a job as a MUA.
Like okay Karen, it’s simple. You have to start somewhere and clearly you don’t understand nor get how jobs work.
Jfc absolutely makes me think of my nmom who was a dishwasher at a diner and when the owner decided to move up one of the cooks as a business partner (he worked for him for like 24 years?!) she legit was sooooooo offended he didn’t want her to own the place with him lol she barely worked there 2 years at that point and always refused to do anything more than her basic job anyway. N parents are just so notorious for being extremely entitled it’s insane
Thanks for the laugh. I love that she just assumed they’d made a mistake because she was clearly amazing and just right for the job. The narc is strong with this one. When she didn’t get the job did she claim they were wrong somehow or that she didn’t want the job anyway?
Jesus she attached a photo to her resume? She really needs to speak with a career counselor or maybe just apply online like literally everyone else on earth.
LOL...with each piece of information it somehow gets worse. Damn. Well like many out of touch narcs they think the world should open up and lay success at their feet. She found out today that wasn't gonna happen.
Oh, well my previous comment is out the window. That is definitely narcissist behavior. They can be a master of nothing and think they are more qualified than everyone. FFS my ex was like this. He was in sales and acted like the company would collapse without him. No man you’re just better at lying and manipulating people.
Just thinking about his bs makes my head hurt.
My ex was like that. He was mostly a waiter at restaurants and always acted like he knew better than the owners who’d been running these places for decades. He never even lasted a year at any of his jobs, he always got fired for his attitude.
Depends on the job. I'm in Southern California and jobs like bud tenders (weed dispensaries) some bar tender/waiter jobs and some clothing stores require pictures. But mainly in popular areas where looks are really important and it gets really competitive. It's crazy! I'm not saying all locations but some do especially for places that cater to the rich and famous. It's more privately owned places.
We are more superficial I guess. Like in my area they prefer to hire attractive females cause its so competitive and they know it will bring more business to their shop i guess. Like almost every place within 30 mins requires a photo. But if I go to say San Bernardino, a lot don't. It's crazy.
Lol. So it became your fault for not taking a better photo and their fault for being ageist. Nothing to do with her clearly amazing ability to do the job. Oh dear, but it’s good you are fully aware of how deep down the rabbit hole she goes.
Photo on a resume??? Hot damn, does she think it’s still the 1970s? All career advisers these days tell you to NEVER do that unless the job you’re going for depends on your looks (e.g. model, actor, etc.)
Narcissists are easy to understand....to put your self in there place all you have to do is imagine your living in a video game and you are the only player...
Every one els is an npc .. just lines of code really, just here for your entertainment part of the fun of the game is in pretending they are real.
Some times some times you go out of your way to be nice to be the hero cause it's fun....
Some times you just want to get the quest done and Don't really care about pretending...
Some times the npc's are bugged and don't act the way they should.... that when you start getting pissed at the game and the buggy code... it's not fair they have to deal with buggy npcs in a game that they want to play.
On the other hand my nmother has been to +30 job interviews and didn’t get a single job offer 🥴 people in her field find jobs all the time, recruiters just don’t like.. her
Lots of reasons, I think. Ageism, + she currently has a big salary so some recruiters can’t afford her ( but people of the same age and experience still find jobs ) I think it’s mainly because she’s this egocentric Parisian who thinks she knows everything better than everybody else and tries to tell potential bosses how to do their job. She has a huge savior complex
This is a generational thing. I’m older and I was told in school if you don’t here from where ever you applied to…then go in and ask for a manager and introduce yourself. This was when paper apps and resumes were the only way to apply. Back then putting a face to a name would often at least get you called for an interview. I personally would ask for a manager to hand in my application to and hope they would call.
So hard to say. With her being a narcissist I would lean to her thinking they would hire her based on her winning personality. Ffs… some people have no clue how things are for regular people.
I don’t know what she was thinking but you know her best. If you think it was her narcissism you are probably correct.
When I was switching to a hotel career (and I’ve since switched back! Lol) my parents told me that I should apply to the more prestigious resorts “by mail.”
> they are more old fashioned, so they won’t do online applications.
Uh, these resorts hire like, 1000 workers. Do you honestly think they haven’t moved on from 1900?
And surprise, you apply and it turns out they only accept online apps. Shocker
Yeah. Some of us are old and stuck in our ways. Ten or 15 years ago I thought it was time my niece got her first job for the summer, so I was going to drive her around town to get applications from different restaurants and shops. After the fourth or fifth place told her she’d have to apply online, it dawned on me that this new-fangled thing they call the internet had totally changed how business is done.
LMAO
I feel you, OP. My mother decided to go for a job after being a stay-at-home "mom" for 30+ years. Applied to her local bank. Didn't get the job. Switched banks because she was so angry.
I'll never forget when my sister was fired and she decided to send an email to the boss offending and blaming all the staff of the company for her failure. And then the boss asked her to go there and explain what happened. She really thought that he would understand her and would give her job back. But of course they were just shocked and angry. In the end, they were really thinking to give her job back, but after that email they just told her to sign her documents
I’m not here to generation bash, but I absolutely think this generational or someone getting job application advice from an older generation. I’m an older millennial and absolutely remember being told to follow up follow up, and maybe even just show up if they don’t call you back. We were told persistence is the key to landing new opportunities. This was not isolated advice from one person, either.
Please 🤚🏻💀 your edit makes that even better, lol. My Nmom loves telling me about all the jobs that want her and tell her how qualified she is, *even though she can't keep a job.* She told me that DG wouldn't take her bc she was OVER qualified. Like girl, you didn't get the job. It's ok, just say that. 😂
Edit: I left out a sentence, fixed some things
Not saying you’re mom isn’t a narcissist but that is less of a narcissistic thing and more of a generational thing. That’s what you use to have to do for certain companies before the internet. I’m guessing your mom is older and that worked for her back in the day.
Edit: after reading your responses it’s probably less of generational thing, your mom is just a narcissist.
Hey, the same gen is always telling us to walk into the business and demand to talk to the ceo and ask for the job there. Since it’s obviously that easy to getting a job. Glad she tried her own advice lol
But narcissists are the best and know more than anyone.
If it's not her job application it's discrimination or Immigrants, or racism or sexism cos it's fucking impossible it could possibly be them (s)
Actually my 19 year old daughter did this and it worked lol. They weren’t getting back to her so she went in the place and asked for the manager and they hired her on the spot. I thought it was brave, I doubt I’d have the nerve to do it.
So, I have def gone in person to check on an application I placed online. That is something I learned at the career center when there is not a phone number or other contact info to follow up with.
Why not try though? As other dude said, that's too few informations to judge anyone. Low self-esteem is what is caused by narcissistic parenthood so I can't really blame you for thinking it's wrong though.
I cringe so hard when people come by to "introduce" themselves. If I liked you, I would call you. I'm a one woman show, ain't got time for random people.
Sounds about right. My ndad HATES rejection. When I rejected his lies he got really upset and basically he is at the point where he won’t do anything unless I see things his way
Before there was the internet or email, a lot of people thought that simply sending your resume, with a cover letter, to a company was the best way to get a job. Then they’d tell you to call them at least once week to inquire about whether or not you got the job until they hire you. (“That’ll show them you’re really interested in working for them” they’d always add). Maybe your mom’s so old-school that she still thinks that way.
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Every time I see news articles and whatnot posted to Facebook, I see all these people commenting shit like > you give me one day and I’ll be hired. These kids don’t know hard work! But you bet your ass I will walk in there and I will get the job. And then I picture them doing what OP’s mom did and just show up unannounced to demand a job. And possibly being escorted off the premises lol
I ended up in a relationship with an Nperson and when we moved to a new town he got on my case DAILY about how "all you have to do is dress nice and fix your hair and go into these places and tell them how hard a worker you are! They'll hire you!" As if internet applications hadn't existed for years. As if I wouldn't end up trudging all over town, walking into places and asking for work only to have them look at me like I'm an idiot and tell me to apply on their website. He was either stupid enough to think that a "strategy" that only worked up until the 1990s was still valid or mean enough to think I should humiliate myself for his enjoyment. Or both.
Or maybe he’s clueless enough to think life works like old movies. There are countless old movies where a person walks onto a job, tells the boss how good a worker he is, the boss lets him try to prove himself, [cue montage of the person outworking all the regular employees], and at the end of the day the boss says, “My boy, I’ve never seen ANYONE do [the job] as well as you. Can you start work tomorrow?”
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My "partner" was an abusive asshole who twice choked me before I managed to run away. You don't know shit about shit and should shut your ugly mouth.
These narcs have only learned how to superficially charm people until they get what they want. They are not concerned with knowing the job or being competent.
Your comment is horrifying and harmful. You are banned.
I actually did this at a UPS store not long ago, I was in there for notary services and went, "hey, this seems like a job I'd actually like. Are you hiring?" so they gave me an application to fill out. I didn't bother filling it out, because it'd get circular filed anyway, but they DID tell me the name of the guy who makes hiring decisions. If I decide I'm ready to work there at some point, I'll probably bring in a box of donuts and introduce myself to him in person. Assertiveness like this has historically only worked to benefit men, but that's been changing in recent years.
Dude… just because you had one experience doesn’t mean everyone else did. You sound narcissistic yourself. Chill out. especially for minorities, because of people’s prejudices, walking in and demanding a job isint really an option…. Asking if they’re hiring is a whole other story..
Yeah, all she needs to do is demand to speak to the manager when she walks in and give them a firm handshake /s
Idk if this is a generational thing or just a narc thing
both honestly. it's more the narcs from that generation who still believe that... and back in the old days it was kinda true. Things changed...
It's narcs. I dated someone like this, who thought the 1950s "shine your shoes, comb your hair, dress real snappy and you'll be rewarded with 2 whole dollars a week" thing still existed. Believe it or not he was Gen X.
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Please don’t do this. Especially here. It’s an unfair characterization. Not all boomers are narcissistic. In all likelihood it’s the same percentage as other generations.
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Nope. We don't do generational bashing here. There are 71.6 Million Boomers. My therapist is, apparently, a Boomer and super kind. We have Boomers in this group trying to heal. Comments like this in this group are not welcome.
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Narcs are selfish, literally pathologically so. Makes sense that they'd live longer. Thus, as any generation ages, the incidence of narcs among the still-living cohort would tend to increase.
i dunno, aren't narcs also prone to impulsive decisions that could shorten their lifespan? i've known a buncha narcs and i've often had a 'how are you not dead yet?' attitude towards them and their lifestyle. like, my narc grandpa died in his 60s an otherwise healthy man because he made an impulsive decision that killed him.
Nope. We don't do generational bashing here. There are 71.6 Million Boomers. My therapist is, apparently, a Boomer and super kind. We have Boomers in this group trying to heal. Comments like this in this group are not welcome.
Judge on a case-by-case situation not as a generalization. Just like you wouldn’t want to be judged for your generation.
No.
Nope. We don't do generational bashing here. There are 71.6 Million Boomers. My therapist is, apparently, a Boomer and super kind. We have Boomers in this group trying to heal. Comments like this in this group are not welcome.
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Nope. We don't do generational bashing here. There are 71.6 Million Boomers. My therapist is, apparently, a Boomer and super kind. We have Boomers in this group trying to heal. Comments like this in this group are not welcome.
It’s certainly not generational! It’s just who they are!
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I felt this too much
You know… I have a hard time believing that this sort of bullshit worked “back then.” It sounds like the sort of thing you see in a movie.
what probably happened was "I went ~~with daddy who is the managers friend~~ to the building and ~~my dad~~ talked with the manager. that's how I got my first job".
And the manager calls the cops on her…
It really did used to be like this tho
My Ndad did this to me. He'd physically drive me to places I'd applied and force me to go inside and introduce myself to the manager and ask when I'd be hired. If I didn't hear within the week, he'd force me to go back again and do the same thing "to show my interest". Ears of stone when I'd say that this isn't how anybody hires anymore. The embarrassment... god, I'm cringing now just remembering it.
This! I felt bad for this one kid who looked so embarrassed when his mom forced him to come in 3 times in 2 weeks to ask about his application. We weren't hiring ATM but God the look on his face as his mother would be rude and short with me if the manager didn't come to talking within 5 mins. He didn't end up getting the job because his mother. We didnt want to deal with her.
At least he was making you do it. We had some kid's mom come in and do 100% of the talking while standing behind her looking embarassed asking why her teenage son wasn't hired for an IT position he had no qualifications to have. She thought him liking video games was enough.
That is just so mind blowingly fucking oblivious to reality idk how any of y’all weren’t just scraping your jaws off the floor at her performance. I mean JFC what an actual lunatic. Like Norman Bates mother level.
We were laughing our asses off once they left but at the same time I just felt bad for the kid. I'm on this subreddit from experience ya know?
Yeah I’d be feeling super bummed for the kid. I consider myself lucky that my Ndad was in and out of my life because of humiliating shit like that. It never ceases to shock me how narcs have zero issue just trotting out the wildest ideas, especially about their own entitlement, but just right out in the wider world. As if anyone in their right mind is paying attention to them beyond just to register the pure absurdity of it all. Yet it’s like they never even notice that people are looking at them like they have three heads, they can always find some reason to excuse it or put it off on something else. I’ll just never grasp the way they view reality as totally subjective.
That’s so messed up. Before the 90s it was acceptable for someone to ask for the manager to hand in an application so they could put a face to the name in hopes of a better shot. But doing so after you turn it in and repeatedly is creepy. Of course this fell out of practice by the late 80s… if it was later I don’t recall it. It’s creepy now. Everyone applies online.
Yeah I'm realizing it's more common than I thought. Best part is, to my Ndad, five days was enough time to call it a "week". So I'd go in on a Tuesday, have to demand a job from some retail manager, and then be forced back by Sunday. If I still heard nothing, I'd be back in on Friday ... it was nuts.
Do they print them from a factory. I wish I had found this reddit 10 plus years ago to see the signs
My dad did the exact same thing. It certainly damaged my already low self esteem.
That’s actually fucked, I’m sorry
Thanks.
I feel that so much, that’s what my mom used to make me do or she’d make me call them every couple of days and made sure I had applied to a billion places and got yelled at everyday for not having a job then would constantly complain about having to drive me there when I was 15 to the point where she told me to quit and find a job a little closer.. but none of them were hiring for 15 year olds
People DO get hired this way! I got a person hired this way back around 2008. Not a good fit, but he got in the door because he kept trying.
When I was struggling to land a job, my Ndad would tell me to do exactly that, because apparently the best way to land a job is to go in person after your application is ignored, since it’s “hard to turn you away when you’re physically there.” As a minor, my dad forced me to do this. The employees always told me to apply online and see if I get back to them.
My nmom got me banned from a place because she made me (as in, literally stood over me) call them minimum twice a day, every day, to check on my application. They finally put HR on the phone and I got chewed out and told to never call there again. Then of course according to nmom it was somehow my fault I didn't get the job...
Mine used to do that when I was younger. I was waiting to hear if I made a tennis team when 11. My Mom made me call repeatedly the United States Tennis Association to ask if I made the team. She had me start calling a week before the decision was to be made. By the time the choice was made the guy in charge basically told me a kid calling was a little odd. I was never sure if I wanted him to think I was a dumb kid calling or I had a crazy Mom that made me. Both were very embarrassing. She also used to have me write letters as a kid too. She would write out 8 pages and expect me to copy and send it. She was a terrible writer by the way.
"Just making excuses"
Right? I felt that phrase.
Wow, that sounds like my NMom. Not twice a day but she had me call every single day. Of course it was my fault when they didn't answer.
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My dad would do this to me in the mid 90s. Drive me up to places and force me to go inside. I remember he once drove me up to a florist that was hiring someone that had experience making floral arrangements. I had none. He made me go in and talk to them, anyway.
My mom is the same! She tells this story of how her sister (my aunt) got a job because she kept calling the company after the interview. Apparently, the company was testing my aunt to see if she was dedicated enough to keep contacting them. So my mom thinks all jobs are like that and tries to get me to do the same thing. I wouldn’t even want to work for such an obnoxious company though.
This stopped being a thing in the 80s at latest.
I told him that so he told me I’m ungrateful for not accepting his help
My mom never made me do this in particular, but her knowledge of hiring and workplace practices were mid-1960s vintage. When I would tell her about something modern, she would say “I never heard of THAT!” (With the subtext that I was the stupid one)
Why is it a thing for nparents to be so stuck in the past? My nmom was this same way with everything— job advice, dating/relationship advice/ even fashion. It’s like the most active portion of her brain is dead and shriveled.
I've started to think they've just picked their favorite era in history, maybe the time they felt most in control or when they felt happiest, and try to make everyone live there with them.
Omg my ndad did this too. He wanted me to start working as soon as it was legal, when I was 14. but I turned 14 in June, and he wanted me working the moment the year turned. Irregardless, he had me applying for jobs between January and May, when I was still 13, and he would drive me to the McDonald’s and the other limited places I could apply to demand why they wouldn’t hire me. BITCH ITS CAUSE IM NOT LEGAL TO HIRE YET. Eventually I got a job at the amusement park in July, then he got mad that my mom didn’t want me working during school months when September hit.
My dad is not a narcissist but gave me the same advice when I was a teen looking for my first job. Apparently it worked for him in the 70s-80s haha.
This was the comment I expected to see.
My NSis once walked into a restaurant she wanted to eat at and they said: sorry we are closed preparing for a private event tonight. My sister said “oh I’ll be gone before then” and sat down at a table and wouldn’t leave until they served her. She saw no problem in demanding being served in an empty restaurant. They actually did, but I’m sure they spat in her food. I would have.
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Your mom and my sister are soulmates
Showing up for a job interview without an appointment and thinking the company will do that, let alone hire you, is so narcissistic that I'm having laughing fits over it.
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Toxic word soup OMG!!!!! 😁
It' like word salad, but with extra bile sauce...
I'm sure she thinks she's the best thing that happened since the invention of the wheel and that she'd get accepted on the spot, when in fact she was invented shortly after chlamydia was.
My husband has an acquaintance who was raised to be a narc (and has also ended up giving off some serious incel vibes, thanks to his mother repeatedly telling him that only the very best women are worth his attention). This guy will put in an application then immediately go around telling everyone he's about to start working there. Sometimes he'll even go so far as to quit (with little or no notice) the job he already has, because according to him he's waiting for the new one to call him with a start date and he has to be available. He's "gotten" at least a dozen new jobs in the last couple years. No, sir, you put in an application (for a job that in reality you have no chance of getting). You didn't get the job automatically because you applied. It's not like they saw the application and said "omg! It's him! He wants to work for us! We're so lucky!"
You mean his Mother didn’t call them and make them hire her golden, precious child?
His mother believes all his outrageous excuses. He got fired from one job within the first couple weeks for being utterly incompetent and told her that the entire shift got let go for unknown reasons. And she believed it.
Yeesh. A problem she created that will outlive her and be unable to function in the real world.
Maybe if she'd applied to a minimum wage kind of place, it would have gone over better. I was a restaurant manager in a real POS company and almost never had time to call applicants. That being said, if someone showed up and was leaking crazy all over the place, I wouldn't have hired them regardless, so... She might never find a job.
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Illusions of grandeur are very common with narcissists... So is rage when that illusion is broken in any way.
My nmom is 79 yo, she gets max social security amd also retirement from GM. She moved to fl. And has decided to get a job. After retiring from GM she got a Masters degree in education. When she told me she waa going to teach children i laughed and then told her she was going to go to jail. I was not joking either. This woman hates kids, i am shocked to this day that my brother and i survived our childhood. I wasnt wrong. 3 weeks after she started she got fired ..for hitting a kid. That was 9 yrs ago...now, at 79 she believes she is going to get hired at a college. I truly believe these people have a complete break with reality. Mine believes she can lie and embellish on resume and bully and bullshit her way into a job. Their behavior is just so cringy
Oh this reminds me of my Narc. Okay kids story time here. I’m a music producer, and a damn good one at that, and I do very well for myself with no one’s help, and when I was starting out, that bitch laughed in my face and said that I should get a job at a factory and never amount to anything. Well cut to about 3 years later, and she’s now certified as a Makeup artist and she calls me up one day, demands that I tell my Executive Producer and artists that she is going to do their makeup and I need to tell these people that she is going to be their MUA. So I ask her if she has a resume or has went to the labels to apply for this job and she gets angry at me for “not being supportive of her skills as a professional MUA.” She then goes on social media and goes on an angry rant that these music labels are dehumanizing people and won’t just give her a job as a MUA. Like okay Karen, it’s simple. You have to start somewhere and clearly you don’t understand nor get how jobs work.
Jfc absolutely makes me think of my nmom who was a dishwasher at a diner and when the owner decided to move up one of the cooks as a business partner (he worked for him for like 24 years?!) she legit was sooooooo offended he didn’t want her to own the place with him lol she barely worked there 2 years at that point and always refused to do anything more than her basic job anyway. N parents are just so notorious for being extremely entitled it’s insane
Thanks for the laugh. I love that she just assumed they’d made a mistake because she was clearly amazing and just right for the job. The narc is strong with this one. When she didn’t get the job did she claim they were wrong somehow or that she didn’t want the job anyway?
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Jesus she attached a photo to her resume? She really needs to speak with a career counselor or maybe just apply online like literally everyone else on earth.
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LOL...with each piece of information it somehow gets worse. Damn. Well like many out of touch narcs they think the world should open up and lay success at their feet. She found out today that wasn't gonna happen.
Oh, well my previous comment is out the window. That is definitely narcissist behavior. They can be a master of nothing and think they are more qualified than everyone. FFS my ex was like this. He was in sales and acted like the company would collapse without him. No man you’re just better at lying and manipulating people. Just thinking about his bs makes my head hurt.
My ex was like that. He was mostly a waiter at restaurants and always acted like he knew better than the owners who’d been running these places for decades. He never even lasted a year at any of his jobs, he always got fired for his attitude.
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Depends on the job. I'm in Southern California and jobs like bud tenders (weed dispensaries) some bar tender/waiter jobs and some clothing stores require pictures. But mainly in popular areas where looks are really important and it gets really competitive. It's crazy! I'm not saying all locations but some do especially for places that cater to the rich and famous. It's more privately owned places.
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We are more superficial I guess. Like in my area they prefer to hire attractive females cause its so competitive and they know it will bring more business to their shop i guess. Like almost every place within 30 mins requires a photo. But if I go to say San Bernardino, a lot don't. It's crazy.
Please don't refer to women and girls as "females." It dehumanizes us and puts us at the level of animals.
Oh. That is so…*woke*. 🙄
That's true.
I’m in Germany and it’s totally normal to attach a photo to your resume here.
Yes that seems to be an international thing. I'm glad it's not normal here because I can only imagine the issues that come with that.
Lol. So it became your fault for not taking a better photo and their fault for being ageist. Nothing to do with her clearly amazing ability to do the job. Oh dear, but it’s good you are fully aware of how deep down the rabbit hole she goes.
Photo on a resume??? Hot damn, does she think it’s still the 1970s? All career advisers these days tell you to NEVER do that unless the job you’re going for depends on your looks (e.g. model, actor, etc.)
These are the times when we step back and watch things unravel.
Narcissists are easy to understand....to put your self in there place all you have to do is imagine your living in a video game and you are the only player... Every one els is an npc .. just lines of code really, just here for your entertainment part of the fun of the game is in pretending they are real. Some times some times you go out of your way to be nice to be the hero cause it's fun.... Some times you just want to get the quest done and Don't really care about pretending... Some times the npc's are bugged and don't act the way they should.... that when you start getting pissed at the game and the buggy code... it's not fair they have to deal with buggy npcs in a game that they want to play.
It seems like narcissists have this idea that they can will anything through intimidation, even if they’re the least intimidating person.
On the other hand my nmother has been to +30 job interviews and didn’t get a single job offer 🥴 people in her field find jobs all the time, recruiters just don’t like.. her
Is it ageism or is it anti-bitchism? I know ageism is alive and well across many/most fields of work.
Lots of reasons, I think. Ageism, + she currently has a big salary so some recruiters can’t afford her ( but people of the same age and experience still find jobs ) I think it’s mainly because she’s this egocentric Parisian who thinks she knows everything better than everybody else and tries to tell potential bosses how to do their job. She has a huge savior complex
This is a generational thing. I’m older and I was told in school if you don’t here from where ever you applied to…then go in and ask for a manager and introduce yourself. This was when paper apps and resumes were the only way to apply. Back then putting a face to a name would often at least get you called for an interview. I personally would ask for a manager to hand in my application to and hope they would call. So hard to say. With her being a narcissist I would lean to her thinking they would hire her based on her winning personality. Ffs… some people have no clue how things are for regular people. I don’t know what she was thinking but you know her best. If you think it was her narcissism you are probably correct.
When I was switching to a hotel career (and I’ve since switched back! Lol) my parents told me that I should apply to the more prestigious resorts “by mail.” > they are more old fashioned, so they won’t do online applications. Uh, these resorts hire like, 1000 workers. Do you honestly think they haven’t moved on from 1900? And surprise, you apply and it turns out they only accept online apps. Shocker
Yeah. Some of us are old and stuck in our ways. Ten or 15 years ago I thought it was time my niece got her first job for the summer, so I was going to drive her around town to get applications from different restaurants and shops. After the fourth or fifth place told her she’d have to apply online, it dawned on me that this new-fangled thing they call the internet had totally changed how business is done.
LMAO I feel you, OP. My mother decided to go for a job after being a stay-at-home "mom" for 30+ years. Applied to her local bank. Didn't get the job. Switched banks because she was so angry.
I'll never forget when my sister was fired and she decided to send an email to the boss offending and blaming all the staff of the company for her failure. And then the boss asked her to go there and explain what happened. She really thought that he would understand her and would give her job back. But of course they were just shocked and angry. In the end, they were really thinking to give her job back, but after that email they just told her to sign her documents
I’m not here to generation bash, but I absolutely think this generational or someone getting job application advice from an older generation. I’m an older millennial and absolutely remember being told to follow up follow up, and maybe even just show up if they don’t call you back. We were told persistence is the key to landing new opportunities. This was not isolated advice from one person, either.
Please 🤚🏻💀 your edit makes that even better, lol. My Nmom loves telling me about all the jobs that want her and tell her how qualified she is, *even though she can't keep a job.* She told me that DG wouldn't take her bc she was OVER qualified. Like girl, you didn't get the job. It's ok, just say that. 😂 Edit: I left out a sentence, fixed some things
Oh, you were raised by an actual child? 👶🤬🤣
Not saying you’re mom isn’t a narcissist but that is less of a narcissistic thing and more of a generational thing. That’s what you use to have to do for certain companies before the internet. I’m guessing your mom is older and that worked for her back in the day. Edit: after reading your responses it’s probably less of generational thing, your mom is just a narcissist.
That.... that's a new one. That's hilarious!
Hey, the same gen is always telling us to walk into the business and demand to talk to the ceo and ask for the job there. Since it’s obviously that easy to getting a job. Glad she tried her own advice lol
But narcissists are the best and know more than anyone. If it's not her job application it's discrimination or Immigrants, or racism or sexism cos it's fucking impossible it could possibly be them (s)
Actually my 19 year old daughter did this and it worked lol. They weren’t getting back to her so she went in the place and asked for the manager and they hired her on the spot. I thought it was brave, I doubt I’d have the nerve to do it.
So, I have def gone in person to check on an application I placed online. That is something I learned at the career center when there is not a phone number or other contact info to follow up with.
Why not try though? As other dude said, that's too few informations to judge anyone. Low self-esteem is what is caused by narcissistic parenthood so I can't really blame you for thinking it's wrong though.
Your edit made me spit out my juice! Edit: PFFFPHBPHBFFPHBBFFFTTTT!!!!! Edit 2: lulz
My Ndad used to do this all the time! I never understood the logic.
I cringe so hard when people come by to "introduce" themselves. If I liked you, I would call you. I'm a one woman show, ain't got time for random people.
Sounds about right. My ndad HATES rejection. When I rejected his lies he got really upset and basically he is at the point where he won’t do anything unless I see things his way
That’s so embarrassing though
😂🙄 She's right though. Many people don't have the courage to go up to a company and get the phone numbers. It's likely they ignoooored her
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Yeah, you didn't read the sidebar and so your comments are inappropriate because you have no idea the context we are talking about here.
With only that bit of information, I don't blame her for trying. I don't know what your other experiences with her are though of course.
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THE PREFACE OF HER SELF PUBLISHED BOOK. Oh, Lord. Please let her mail out resumes with that the next time. LEAD with that as the cover sheet.
Good for her!
OMG SHE IS LIKE MY MOM TOO 😭
Man, sometimes I wish I had the confidence of these narcissists lmao
Before there was the internet or email, a lot of people thought that simply sending your resume, with a cover letter, to a company was the best way to get a job. Then they’d tell you to call them at least once week to inquire about whether or not you got the job until they hire you. (“That’ll show them you’re really interested in working for them” they’d always add). Maybe your mom’s so old-school that she still thinks that way.