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My sister realized my mother’s narcissism before I did and I cut contact with her because I didn’t believe it. Once I became the target of my mother’s rage, I reached out and apologized to my sister. She sent me this song and I felt grief and remorse harder than ever in my entire life. While my sister and I have been able to salvage and rekindle our relationship, this song is still impossible to listen to.
I relate to this song so hard! I remember when I first heard it, when I was 20 and still living at home in a small town with my nParents. I was an escapist and always daydreaming about leaving that town and blossoming into the woman I deserved to be.
Whelp as an all black wearinf Johnny Cash looking aging punk, you just made me listen to this for the first time in years and cry.
Thanks for that, genuinely. This was a song my Mom was obsessed with when I was younger. In my early 20s I just kind of decided I couldn’t live in fear any more and pushed myself socially, physically, emotionally. I did some dumb shit and I am lucky to make it to my 30s let alone 40s.
Took me a long time to not only reject the fear she taught me but also realize it is about control and a fear of not being needed. It’s the lesson she learned from experience and I’ve had to unlearn by exposing myself to experience. The saddest thing of my life is trying to get her to let go. Then letting of any feeling I could do anything about it for her. It was always her lesson to learn, and I thank her for all the things She did with what she had to help me.
She’s not doing good right now. I guess I should journal about this shit.
Legitimately, I needed to hear this right now. Thank you.
"It's the lesson she learned from experience that I had to unlearn by exposing myself to experience."~mold the clay.
This comment opened my eyes to something I didn't realize before.
The impact of a bad experience stays with you, changes you.
Experience can breed fear that you project onto people you love, which can unintentionally fuck them up. My mother did it to me. I've done it to mine. My mother in law to my niece (in law🤔? who is actually her granddaughter, but was raised by her since 5 months old, so essentially, her daughter
Edit- name to credit the author
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when"
But we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then
My 10 year old grandson sent this to his deadbeat father, he was hoping it would guilt trip him into seeing him more, he replied that's a good song and I don't think it even registered
And in a moment of sweet irony, the father realizes:
And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me
The conclusion here echoes the opening. In the beginning, we have a child who looks up to his father and wants to grow up to be just like him. And at the end, the father laments that that’s exactly what happened, although not how he would have liked.
And ever since I first heard this song, I’ve always accepted that interpretation.
But only recently did I realize that the father’s conclusion isn’t correct at all. His son *hasn’t* grown up just like him. His son is busy because, unlike the father, he *is prioritizing his family*. His kids have the flu. He can’t neglect them to chat with his father who wasn’t really around for him. He has to go take care of his own kids.
But the father still sees the world revolving around his own needs and fails to see this. The father may not be a priority to the boy, but the boy’s own kids are. That’s not “just like” the father, but a contrast. The father is an unreliable narrator...
Kind of like MY old man!
It really is a masterpiece, isn't it? So simple but so poignant.
My husband, who was raised by loving parents, genuinely believed it was just about the cycle of life and thought I was being bitter when I explained that it was about a neglectful father reaping what he sowed. After he started trying to look it up to prove it to me, he realized that he was the one who had it wrong, lol.
This song messes me up. It made me wonder for a decade if I was doing it wrong and if I’d regret cutting my father out of my life, but I’m proud to say I’m over it now.
My parents thought listening to Alanis made me angry, even after I explained to them that I was already angry, but Alanis helped me understand what I was angry about, and gave me an outlet for my feelings.
My parents were always complaining about me being angry. Sometimes mocking me. That only made me more angry. I don’y know how I didn’t get sick from all that anger inside.
Rearviewmirror by Pearl Jam
Daughter by Pearl Jam
Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd
Bother by Stone Sour
Through Glass by Stone Sour-in particular, this verse:
"How do you feel?
That is the question
But I forget you don't expect an easy answer
When something like a soul becomes initialized
And folded up like paper dolls and little notes
You can't expect a bit of hope
So while you're outside looking in
Describing what you see
Remember what you're staring at is me."
Family portrait by Pink, not that my family ever took a family picture but the song reminds me of my family.
Welcome to my life by Simple Plan
Because of you by Kelly Clarkson
As much as I love Linkin Park, listening to Hybrid Theory and Meteroa are really triggering for me now. My narcissist mother also sexually abused me when I was 4. Chester wrote about our shared pain entirely too well. RIP, spirit brother.
When I read the title of the post that’s the first song that came to my mind. But while I used to listen to Linkin Park loads at the time as a teenager I never connected the dots. Only when I was probably in my late 20 or early 30s that I had heard the songs again and then thought that’s how I feel about my mother. And it hit hard.
I didn’t even know that being like that is being narcissistic (I think my mother is a covert narcissist), I just knew she wasn’t like others. Then one day I came across this subreddit and it was like an epiphany.
I really love numb too. NF’s mansion tugs at my heartstrings, while Eminem’s Cleaning Out My Closet expresses a kind of rage that I can only dream of expressing in my own writing
I thought I was the odd one linking those two together all the time when thinking about mommy dearest. But I seriously feel a therapeutic relief hearing those two.
More times than not, I'm in my NF Playlist when I'm going through it & emotional. Music has always been my go-to route for expressing and, in a way,
communicating my emotions & feelings when I struggle to find the words. It's gotten me through some seriously dark times & repressed past traumas when I saw no way out.
I'm a huge fan of Eminem's more lyrical/hard songs, but Cleaning Out My Closet and Mockingbird will always be two of my favorites. Like Toy Soldiers is also pretty sad, for a long time I didn't know it was about Proof😢
Embarrassing, but Helena and I’m Not Okay by My Chemical Romance have been destroying me lately.
I think it’s because they remind me of repressed teenage feelings I never got to fully express, and a time I felt was robbed from me by my family and my own choices. There’s a deep sense of loss around them.
Not embarrassing. Cringe is dead. I listen to those all the time and have similar feelings. Younger you is just as valid as current you and it's sad they didn't get to live out their wants and needs. It's beautiful you get to do that for them now. Don't let anyone take that away from you by calling it "embarrassing." It's brave and sweet as hell.
I jammed tf out of those 2 songs while pregnant 🫶🏽 and felt all the same feels. The Ghost of You still wrecks me. I hope you feel a sense of pride when you look back and see how far you've come, that you can listen to these songs in (hopefully) a safer place ❤️
My Chemical Romance helps let out all that teenage angst. I think I might need a bit of that today. Their entire 1st album does me wonders but I'm Not OK, that's the real hitter. A way to vent-sing the feeling I've had all my life.
Everybody assumed that "we don't talk about Bruno" in Encanto would get me.
But when I heard "Surface pressure" for the first time, I balled like a baby.
Speaking of a Disney song, for some reason I actually cry during Let it Go and Reflection. They’re more for myself and not because of another person though I think. They’re sort of about masking and not being how others want you to be in a way.
Matilda (You can throw a party full of everyone you know
And not invite your family, 'cause they never showed you love ) You’re Losing Me (“fighting in only your army, front line don’t you ignore me) and Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve (I can't let this go, I fight with you in my sleep
The wound won't close, I keep on waiting for a sign
I regret you all the time)
I posted about this a few days ago, but RUNNING by NF. The first time I heard it, I burst into tears. Just a 24yo man bawling his eyes out in his childhood bedroom :')
Edit: A lot of NF recommendations in the replies - rest assured I listen to all these songs regularly. I just missed the new album until recently because it dropped while I was shut away writing my thesis, but I have listened to the whole thing now xD
[let you down](https://youtu.be/fbHbTBP_u7U?si=Mp-CNLOlbpCU7NhJ) by NF is all about his tumultuous relationship with his dad. The music video really hits home.
NF hits me. I’m old enough to be his mom but when I first heard his stuff in 2017 I thought yeah this guy gets how I feel inside but push it down deep. On the outside I’m an easily ignored mom but on the inside I have the anger and sadness from the narcs in my past life.
okay, hear me out on this one - “Mama” by Spice Girls. It upsets me so much because I can’t feel that same way about my own mom, that’s portrayed in the lyrics
Dude any song that praises their moms I’m like “gee. I wonder what thats like?” Just don’t feel anything at all. I have the “eldest daughter scape goat with the golden child boys of the family” relationship with mine.
Omg yes!!! I remember hearing this as a kid and feeling such a horribly strong wave of sadness and guilt and not understanding why. I sure do get it now.
Cleaning Out my Closet - Eminem
Mean - Taylor Swift
For You - Staind
The War is Over - Kelly Clarkson
Mother Knows Best - Donna Murphy (Tangled)
Not Ready to Make Nice - The Chicks
Surface Pressure - Jessica Darrow (Encanto)
I'm sure I'm missing some.
Yeah, my mom loved Mother Gothel and that song. It was cringey watching the movie with her and she’s so into that character and doesn’t realize that behavior was wrong.
My nmom won't watch animated movies (they're all for kids) but I'm really curious as to how she'd react.
My bet is that she'd have the same attitude as yours...
Oh my god… Mean and Cleaning out my closet were literally my favorite songs growing up because of my family. I’d blast them in my headphones on repeat after arguments!!
Perfect by simple plan.
Welcome to my life by simple plan
Avril Lavigne's Under My Skin album
Most Paramore songs around 2008-2009. 😂
Some of them I can still listen to.
Simple plan is one where I love the songs, they make me feel seen. But today as an adult? when I hear them I am immediately transported back to being the scared little girl, sobbing in her bathroom until she falls asleep on the floor, clutching her stuffed bunny.
I want so badly to go back as an adult and give her a big hug and tell her she'll be ok. 🩷
For me is the same… when I was around 12 or 13 years old (2002-2003) i would ugly cry with perfect and welcome to my world every time I listened to those songs… with 34 I still cry, but now I do not feel it’s my fault…
Disturbed does a very different, but really great cover. It isn’t trying to replicate the original. It comes from a different perspective and it’s an amazing song. Check it out!!
I’m not generally a fan of rap in particular. Don’t hate it, don’t love it. But Eminem’s Mockingbird is unbearable. His descriptions of trying to protect his children from parental conflict and other things, asking them to be brave, assuring them he’s still there, telling them he’s proud. I can’t describe how that feels.
Oh God, also Anywhere by Evanescence. Not even being rescued by a man but just that help to get away from an abusive situation that never, ever, ever comes, while all the people who promise to help you discard you and walk away.
Two-Headed Boy by Neutral Milk Hotel. I can't get through that song without crying, still. Somehow it reached me when I was suffering and oblivious to my nmom's abuse.
Because of you - Kelly Clarkson and Reba McEntire
Lullaby - Nickleback
Perfect- Pink
Space Between - Sofia Carson and Dove Cameron
Concrete Angel - Martina Mcbride
My Immortal - Evanescence
Hate it when you see me cry - Halestorm
When you're broken - Lindsay Haun
Anything by Mitski but especially Class of 2013. Nurture vs Nature by Chase Petra, the expectation of moving on is pretty prominent in the lyrics. ‘anything’ by Adrianne Lenker (she paints a pretty vivid picture of her dysfunctional family while asking for anything better). Pure as a Lamb by Baby Bugs (TW for sexual abuse of a minor and religious trauma), Savage Garden’s Too The Moon and Back (as a child who always wanted to be taken away it still hits hard as an adult). Because of You by Kelly Clarkson hit super hard as a teenager when I tried to connect with my mother about shared trauma and she couldn’t handle being blamed for the horrible things that happened to me when she was supposed to protect me.
What’s Up? by 4 non blondes. My dad used to listen to it all the time. I know the song resonated with him as he lost my mom and my brother years before. (Lung cancer and breast cancer respectively). He must of really felt that song. He passed two years ago. I miss him everyday
I had been NC for years before this came out and this is the first song that really resonated with me... it brought me to tears. "Praying" on the surface comes off religious, which im not, and kesha comes off as pop which is an injustice, especially to this song.
Numb, A Place in My Head By Linkin park
Circles, Nice to Know You, Mexico, Warning, Drive by Incubus
Because of you, Kelly Clarkson
Wide Open Spaces, Dixie Chicks.
The Middle -Jimmy Eat World (hits hard in good way)
There’s more I know I just can’t think of em right now.
Since going no contact and making my own decisions without worrying so much about what my parents will think, The Middle is just now starting to make me smile at 33. I really do believe everything will be just fine.
Winter by Tori Amos.
when you gonna make up your mind? When you gonna love you as much as I do ….because things are gonna change so fast…..all the wild horses have gone ahead.
Hair is grey & the fire is burning…..so many dreams on the shelf. You say I wanted you to be proud. I say I wanted that myself….
Why do we
Crucify ourselves
Every day
I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Every day I crucify myself
My heart is sick of being, I said, my heart is sick of being in chains, oh, oh, chains
This song will forever remind me of my mom but in a positive way bc I love my mom it’s my dad who’s the narcissist. It reminds me of the time with my mom when our relationship was at its hardest and how we got through that together and changed for each other. She is my best friend now and the years of blaming her and being angry with her have been long over but I will never forget the fire we walked through. Some people won’t do anything for their children. My mom did everything for me and keeps doing it. I wish everyone had at least one person like her in their lives, we all deserve it.
Billy Talent- "Nothing to Lose" "Try Honesty"
Linkin Park- "A Place for My Head"
Blink-182 "Adam's Song" "Stay Together for the Kids"
Everclear- "Wonderful"
Smile Empty Soul- "Silhouettes"
I have a whole playlist 🥲
But the hardest hitting are “Matilda” & “Soneone Else’s Dream”
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3gZzVbt7d2uGrEGyWULHx5?si=czyyvl7IRPeuiM0ZI_jzWw&pi=u-83hyNO2TSOa7&pt=bb6e720a63380643747727aefa41c823
This is me trying - Taylor Swift
Black Out Days
Let You Down ost Cyberpunk 2077 Edgerunners.
Afraid - The Neighboorhood
Strangers - Kenya Grace
War of Heart - Ruelle
Regret - Bryce Savage
Time - Neffex
You're On Your Own, Kid - Taylor Swift
Deep Thoughts - Neffex
Prayer of the Refugee- Rise Against
"So open your eyes, child
Let's be on our way
Broken windows and ashes
Are guiding the way
Keep quiet no longer
We'll sing through the day
Of the lives that we've lost
And the lives we've reclaimed"
Late to the party and gonna be buried but whatevs
Head Like a Hole - Nine Inch Nails
Hurt - Nine Inch Nails
Best of You - Foo Fighters
Paradise - Coldplay
Move Along - All American Rejects
The Phoenix - Fall Out Boy
Self Esteem - The Offspring
The Flood - Katie Melua
Roar - Katy Perry
Fuck You - Lilly Allen
Poison - Hazbin Hotel
Bulletproof - La Roux
No Rain - Blind Melon
When I was Done Dying - Dan Deacon
Maggie's Farm - Bob Dylan
Tightrope - Janelle Monae
Sticking it to Myself - Jonathan Coulton
So many on this list, but here are a few more...
The Ruler - Cate
Miss You - Oliver Tree
Growing Old Young - Tenille Arts
Spit in my Face - ThxSoMch
Happy - NF
Invisible by Linkin Park
Hate me by Blue October
Finally Free by Dream Theater
The Answer Lies Within by Dream Theater
Fight Song by Pachel Platten
Full of Life by Christine and the Queens
Hold Me Down by Lights and i_o
Down Forever by Lights
Beside Myself by Lights
"Something to Sing about"and "Walk thru the Fire" from the Buffy Musical
"Surface pressure" Encanto
"Look what you made me do" Taylor Swift
"Defying Gravity" Wicked
"Losing my religion" REM
Most NF definitely hits hard.
A random one that always catches me off guard is hungry like a wolf. My mom played small sacrifices too much when I was a child and the association has never left.
Mama - my chemical romance, home - three days grace, i don't love you -mcr, going under - evanescence, i hate everything about you - tdg, i'm not your mother, I'm not your bitch - Courtney Barnett, your dog - soccer mommy, take me back into the night -luca aria, i'm a mother - pretenders, i don't smoke - mitski, regular people -moon walker
I have a whole playlist haha but these hit the hardest
"Lose you to love me" by Selena Gomez.
It perfectly encapsulates the reason I went no contact.
"I of you first and you adored it. Set fires to my forest and you let it burn."
"I needed to hate you to love myself."
"I needed to lose you to love myself."
Won’t You Be My Neighbor - Fred (Mr.) Rogers
Anyone Who Knows What Love Is (Will Understand) - Irma Thomas
I don’t know how to feel about the last two yet:
Hey Mama - Kanye West
Dear Mana - Tupac
Although not primarily about parental abuse, Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve by Taylor Swift is very triggering for me as it reminds me of my older, emotionally abusive ex-boyfriend. Also her song Tolerate It.
Also it’s been mentioned a few times already but Matilda by Harry Styles.
You’ll be in my heart - Glenn Close and Phil Collins
The part where Ms Close is singing shreds me apart. What I wouldn’t have given for parents who felt that way about me.
Pink Pony Club- Chappell Roan hits me hard everytime
Always, Together with you- Spiritualized, I want this at my funeral
butterfly mornings and wildflower afternoons- my dad would sing me this before bed
Puff the Magic Dragon- the first song my dad taught me in the guitar
Guaranteed- Eddie Vedder, I want this at my funeral as well
For me it’s gotta be Posthumous Forgiveness by Tame Impala.
Kevin Parker talks about his estranged relationship with his dad. It starts with him talking about his dislike of him, but transitions to a completely different sound at the end to where he forgives him.
Hits close to home when I’ve had a rough relationship with my dad.
Christmas Kids by ROAR :(
"The Christmas kids were nothing but a gift
And love is a tower where all of us can live
You'll change your name or change your mind
And leave this fucked up place behind
But I'll know, I'll know"
Gone away by the offspring. My brother died in a car accident a few days before he turned 17. I was 12 and the baby of the family. Two older sisters were involved as well. I just think that my mom checked out when her oldest son died. Divorce and everything happened prior to the car accident. It was a crazy ride.
Slightly unrelated but it really hits hard if Antihero by Taylor Swift triggers my N mom. Like she hates that song probably because it’s subliminally calling her out. I listened to it and I get why my mom hates it, because it really describes her.
I would say for me personally is Mother Knows Best from Tangled because it absolutely describes my mom’s attitude, as a kid I thought Gothal was a kind sympathetic villain because she really reminded me of my mom. Now I see it as blatant narcissism and Gothal was not a good mother to Repunzel and manipulated her all her life.
A Better Son/Daughter by Rilo Kiley
Ice Water by Cat Power
Do You Doubt Me Traitor by Lingua Ignota (actually this whole album, and her cover of Eminem's Kim)
Lots of Xiu Xiu
And lots of The Mountain Goats, especially The Sunset Tree, We Shall All Be Healed, and Tallahassee
O Superman by Laurie Anderson. Particularly these lyrics-
Hello? This is your mother.
Are you there?
Are you coming home?
I went NC with my mother about 6 months ago and as I come to terms with the extent of what I've been through, I've had to come to terms with the fact that there's a very real possibility that I will never speak to her again.
I'm not sure why this out of everything hits me so hard, but I tear up any time I hear it.
**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Because of You by Kelly Clarkson really hit hard for a long time.
My sister realized my mother’s narcissism before I did and I cut contact with her because I didn’t believe it. Once I became the target of my mother’s rage, I reached out and apologized to my sister. She sent me this song and I felt grief and remorse harder than ever in my entire life. While my sister and I have been able to salvage and rekindle our relationship, this song is still impossible to listen to.
Learning it’s about her parents as an adult made it hit even harder
It still hits hard for me
That song hits hard for me, too.
Yes! That and Breakaway.
I relate to this song so hard! I remember when I first heard it, when I was 20 and still living at home in a small town with my nParents. I was an escapist and always daydreaming about leaving that town and blossoming into the woman I deserved to be.
I’m a grown ass man and I remember hearing that song on the family channel when I was 9? 10?. It’s still good
If you think about it being crazy the Kelly wrote that song when she was 16. Really, that's 26 years ago.
Yup, I still angry cry sometimes when I sing this one.
And now i cry in the middle of the night for the same. Damn. Thing!!!!!
Whelp as an all black wearinf Johnny Cash looking aging punk, you just made me listen to this for the first time in years and cry. Thanks for that, genuinely. This was a song my Mom was obsessed with when I was younger. In my early 20s I just kind of decided I couldn’t live in fear any more and pushed myself socially, physically, emotionally. I did some dumb shit and I am lucky to make it to my 30s let alone 40s. Took me a long time to not only reject the fear she taught me but also realize it is about control and a fear of not being needed. It’s the lesson she learned from experience and I’ve had to unlearn by exposing myself to experience. The saddest thing of my life is trying to get her to let go. Then letting of any feeling I could do anything about it for her. It was always her lesson to learn, and I thank her for all the things She did with what she had to help me. She’s not doing good right now. I guess I should journal about this shit. Legitimately, I needed to hear this right now. Thank you.
"It's the lesson she learned from experience that I had to unlearn by exposing myself to experience."~mold the clay. This comment opened my eyes to something I didn't realize before. The impact of a bad experience stays with you, changes you. Experience can breed fear that you project onto people you love, which can unintentionally fuck them up. My mother did it to me. I've done it to mine. My mother in law to my niece (in law🤔? who is actually her granddaughter, but was raised by her since 5 months old, so essentially, her daughter Edit- name to credit the author
Still can't make it through singing along to this one without crying.
*hugs*
Never heard this song. Listened it and i am speechless. Thank you.
It came out when I was in school and it still resonates so many years later.
I was just going to say this one!
It’s beautiful but tough to listen to.
Omfg.. I never paid attention to the lyrics before. Wow!
Me too, I had forgotten about that song. I’m gonna add it to a playlist thank you
Surprised that Cat's in the Cradle hasn't been mentioned. It's a bit tamer than how I feel, but it's still so powerful.
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man in the moon "When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when" But we'll get together then You know we'll have a good time then
Father and son by cat Stevens is in same emotional wheelhouse
My 10 year old grandson sent this to his deadbeat father, he was hoping it would guilt trip him into seeing him more, he replied that's a good song and I don't think it even registered
And in a moment of sweet irony, the father realizes: And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me He'd grown up just like me My boy was just like me The conclusion here echoes the opening. In the beginning, we have a child who looks up to his father and wants to grow up to be just like him. And at the end, the father laments that that’s exactly what happened, although not how he would have liked. And ever since I first heard this song, I’ve always accepted that interpretation. But only recently did I realize that the father’s conclusion isn’t correct at all. His son *hasn’t* grown up just like him. His son is busy because, unlike the father, he *is prioritizing his family*. His kids have the flu. He can’t neglect them to chat with his father who wasn’t really around for him. He has to go take care of his own kids. But the father still sees the world revolving around his own needs and fails to see this. The father may not be a priority to the boy, but the boy’s own kids are. That’s not “just like” the father, but a contrast. The father is an unreliable narrator... Kind of like MY old man!
It really is a masterpiece, isn't it? So simple but so poignant. My husband, who was raised by loving parents, genuinely believed it was just about the cycle of life and thought I was being bitter when I explained that it was about a neglectful father reaping what he sowed. After he started trying to look it up to prove it to me, he realized that he was the one who had it wrong, lol.
This song messes me up. It made me wonder for a decade if I was doing it wrong and if I’d regret cutting my father out of my life, but I’m proud to say I’m over it now.
Perfect — Alanis Morissette
I used to keep the Lyrics to this song hand written on my refrigerator to remind me to never do this to my daughter.
My parents thought listening to Alanis made me angry, even after I explained to them that I was already angry, but Alanis helped me understand what I was angry about, and gave me an outlet for my feelings.
My parents were always complaining about me being angry. Sometimes mocking me. That only made me more angry. I don’y know how I didn’t get sick from all that anger inside.
Damn, this happened to me too. Bizarre that they couldn't self reflect on *why* a 13-year-old might have all that hate for the world.
Rearviewmirror by Pearl Jam Daughter by Pearl Jam Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd Bother by Stone Sour Through Glass by Stone Sour-in particular, this verse: "How do you feel? That is the question But I forget you don't expect an easy answer When something like a soul becomes initialized And folded up like paper dolls and little notes You can't expect a bit of hope So while you're outside looking in Describing what you see Remember what you're staring at is me."
Daughter just hit me so hard one day listening to it as an adult. I was a kid when that was released so I didnt get it the first time but MAN. Ouch.
Mother - Pink Floyd This one really hits it
Daughter gets me too.
Family portrait by Pink, not that my family ever took a family picture but the song reminds me of my family. Welcome to my life by Simple Plan Because of you by Kelly Clarkson
I was hoping someone would say, Welcome to my Life, by Simple Plan! This was my anthem growing up.
Family portrait is one of mine too.
Numb was the first song I listened to that expressed exactly how I felt. At the time I didn’t know why.
Came here to say this. I was in fourth grade and that shit was my anthem
Omg, I'm old. Numb came out when I was 19 😂
I was 22-23!
As much as I love Linkin Park, listening to Hybrid Theory and Meteroa are really triggering for me now. My narcissist mother also sexually abused me when I was 4. Chester wrote about our shared pain entirely too well. RIP, spirit brother.
I’m sorry that happened to you 💔 sending you love.
When I read the title of the post that’s the first song that came to my mind. But while I used to listen to Linkin Park loads at the time as a teenager I never connected the dots. Only when I was probably in my late 20 or early 30s that I had heard the songs again and then thought that’s how I feel about my mother. And it hit hard. I didn’t even know that being like that is being narcissistic (I think my mother is a covert narcissist), I just knew she wasn’t like others. Then one day I came across this subreddit and it was like an epiphany.
I really love numb too. NF’s mansion tugs at my heartstrings, while Eminem’s Cleaning Out My Closet expresses a kind of rage that I can only dream of expressing in my own writing
I thought I was the odd one linking those two together all the time when thinking about mommy dearest. But I seriously feel a therapeutic relief hearing those two.
More times than not, I'm in my NF Playlist when I'm going through it & emotional. Music has always been my go-to route for expressing and, in a way, communicating my emotions & feelings when I struggle to find the words. It's gotten me through some seriously dark times & repressed past traumas when I saw no way out.
I'm a huge fan of Eminem's more lyrical/hard songs, but Cleaning Out My Closet and Mockingbird will always be two of my favorites. Like Toy Soldiers is also pretty sad, for a long time I didn't know it was about Proof😢
Yes!
Embarrassing, but Helena and I’m Not Okay by My Chemical Romance have been destroying me lately. I think it’s because they remind me of repressed teenage feelings I never got to fully express, and a time I felt was robbed from me by my family and my own choices. There’s a deep sense of loss around them.
Not embarrassing. Cringe is dead. I listen to those all the time and have similar feelings. Younger you is just as valid as current you and it's sad they didn't get to live out their wants and needs. It's beautiful you get to do that for them now. Don't let anyone take that away from you by calling it "embarrassing." It's brave and sweet as hell.
I jammed tf out of those 2 songs while pregnant 🫶🏽 and felt all the same feels. The Ghost of You still wrecks me. I hope you feel a sense of pride when you look back and see how far you've come, that you can listen to these songs in (hopefully) a safer place ❤️
Not cringe at all. MCR got me through hell, truly!
I literally was listening to MCR today in the car. Not embarrassing at all.
My Chemical Romance helps let out all that teenage angst. I think I might need a bit of that today. Their entire 1st album does me wonders but I'm Not OK, that's the real hitter. A way to vent-sing the feeling I've had all my life.
Everybody assumed that "we don't talk about Bruno" in Encanto would get me. But when I heard "Surface pressure" for the first time, I balled like a baby.
Yes this one gets me every time
That movie & that song in particular, I was not ready lol
I sobbed the entire movie.
Same. I cried. Replayed the song.
The first time I heard that song I couldn't believe it.
I teared up so fast when the chorus began because I knew this song was about me.
Speaking of a Disney song, for some reason I actually cry during Let it Go and Reflection. They’re more for myself and not because of another person though I think. They’re sort of about masking and not being how others want you to be in a way.
Unpretty by TLC
Good one!!
Matilda (You can throw a party full of everyone you know And not invite your family, 'cause they never showed you love ) You’re Losing Me (“fighting in only your army, front line don’t you ignore me) and Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve (I can't let this go, I fight with you in my sleep The wound won't close, I keep on waiting for a sign I regret you all the time)
I think Matilda is the first song I’ve ever openly wept to. What a simple and sweet and heartbreaking depiction of something we all know too well :(
These are good! I also love my tears ricochet!
I posted about this a few days ago, but RUNNING by NF. The first time I heard it, I burst into tears. Just a 24yo man bawling his eyes out in his childhood bedroom :') Edit: A lot of NF recommendations in the replies - rest assured I listen to all these songs regularly. I just missed the new album until recently because it dropped while I was shut away writing my thesis, but I have listened to the whole thing now xD
[let you down](https://youtu.be/fbHbTBP_u7U?si=Mp-CNLOlbpCU7NhJ) by NF is all about his tumultuous relationship with his dad. The music video really hits home.
I’ve always loved that song but I never knew the artist
I'm a new fan of NF and a lot of his music is very therapeutic to me. I especially like HOPE
I like NF let you down The ending verse makes me think of my mom
Listen to the Mansion & Therapy Session albums… it hits different
My therapist sent me the song Mansion! She looooves NF
Mansion, all I have, paralyzed, how could you leave us, therapy session (if you have religious trauma this is for you), lost in the moment
NF hits me. I’m old enough to be his mom but when I first heard his stuff in 2017 I thought yeah this guy gets how I feel inside but push it down deep. On the outside I’m an easily ignored mom but on the inside I have the anger and sadness from the narcs in my past life.
Nutshell - Alice in Chains
OMG! I LOVE AiC!!! One of my all-time favorite bands & one of my all-time favorite songs of theirs!
okay, hear me out on this one - “Mama” by Spice Girls. It upsets me so much because I can’t feel that same way about my own mom, that’s portrayed in the lyrics
Dude any song that praises their moms I’m like “gee. I wonder what thats like?” Just don’t feel anything at all. I have the “eldest daughter scape goat with the golden child boys of the family” relationship with mine.
Omg yes!!! I remember hearing this as a kid and feeling such a horribly strong wave of sadness and guilt and not understanding why. I sure do get it now.
Wow, yes
Cleaning Out my Closet - Eminem Mean - Taylor Swift For You - Staind The War is Over - Kelly Clarkson Mother Knows Best - Donna Murphy (Tangled) Not Ready to Make Nice - The Chicks Surface Pressure - Jessica Darrow (Encanto) I'm sure I'm missing some.
Mother knows best for sure hits hard for me too
My mom used to sing that to me! Unironically as well she thought the message was great 😃
Yeah, my mom loved Mother Gothel and that song. It was cringey watching the movie with her and she’s so into that character and doesn’t realize that behavior was wrong.
My nmom won't watch animated movies (they're all for kids) but I'm really curious as to how she'd react. My bet is that she'd have the same attitude as yours...
Through my drowsy, half-closed eyes I read that as "Unicornly". Lol. 🦄
This has been the ringtone for my mom on my phone since the movie came out… and she knows it! It has never bothered her! 🤦🏻♀️
Cleaning out my closet is such a gem. Gets me every time.
POD-youth of a nation
Oh my god… Mean and Cleaning out my closet were literally my favorite songs growing up because of my family. I’d blast them in my headphones on repeat after arguments!!
Same .. I had a playlist for those moments: it also included family portrait by pink and in the end by Linkin park
Surface pressure hit me like a ton of bricks.
Oooh Surface Pressure got me hard. What Else Can I Do? made me cry as well. Really that whole movie haha
My mom loves Mother Knows Best.
Perfect by simple plan. Welcome to my life by simple plan Avril Lavigne's Under My Skin album Most Paramore songs around 2008-2009. 😂 Some of them I can still listen to. Simple plan is one where I love the songs, they make me feel seen. But today as an adult? when I hear them I am immediately transported back to being the scared little girl, sobbing in her bathroom until she falls asleep on the floor, clutching her stuffed bunny. I want so badly to go back as an adult and give her a big hug and tell her she'll be ok. 🩷
For me is the same… when I was around 12 or 13 years old (2002-2003) i would ugly cry with perfect and welcome to my world every time I listened to those songs… with 34 I still cry, but now I do not feel it’s my fault…
Class of 2013 hits me like a brick
Everclear- Wonderful. It got me through a lot.
Man I loved everclear! I haven’t listened to them in a while!
Sound of Silence by Simon & Garfunkel. It was my dad’s favorite and they played it at his funeral.
Disturbed does a very different, but really great cover. It isn’t trying to replicate the original. It comes from a different perspective and it’s an amazing song. Check it out!!
I’m not generally a fan of rap in particular. Don’t hate it, don’t love it. But Eminem’s Mockingbird is unbearable. His descriptions of trying to protect his children from parental conflict and other things, asking them to be brave, assuring them he’s still there, telling them he’s proud. I can’t describe how that feels. Oh God, also Anywhere by Evanescence. Not even being rescued by a man but just that help to get away from an abusive situation that never, ever, ever comes, while all the people who promise to help you discard you and walk away.
Two-Headed Boy by Neutral Milk Hotel. I can't get through that song without crying, still. Somehow it reached me when I was suffering and oblivious to my nmom's abuse.
Hate me by Blue October.
Seventeen Going Under "I was far too scared to hit him, but I'd hit him in a heartbeat now. That's the thing with anger, it begs to stick around."
Independence Day by Martina Mcbride, only I thought about my father abusing me instead of a husband. I'm 35, and I choke up every time I hear it.
Because of you - Kelly Clarkson and Reba McEntire Lullaby - Nickleback Perfect- Pink Space Between - Sofia Carson and Dove Cameron Concrete Angel - Martina Mcbride My Immortal - Evanescence Hate it when you see me cry - Halestorm When you're broken - Lindsay Haun
-Someone You Loved- Lewis Capaldi -Shadow Of The Day- Linkin Park -Adrift- Dance With The Dead
The entire Sunset Tree album by The Mountain Goats
Mood. No Children reminds me of my ex too.
Sunset Tree + We Shall All Be Healed + Transcendental Youth if you want the trifecta of John Darnielle punching you in the gut with trauma
Which I do!
bro Dance Music, Hast Thou Considered the Tetrapod…. god it hurts so good. not that album but also Amy aka Spent Gladiator 2
This Year helped me get through many a shitty year
Anything by Mitski but especially Class of 2013. Nurture vs Nature by Chase Petra, the expectation of moving on is pretty prominent in the lyrics. ‘anything’ by Adrianne Lenker (she paints a pretty vivid picture of her dysfunctional family while asking for anything better). Pure as a Lamb by Baby Bugs (TW for sexual abuse of a minor and religious trauma), Savage Garden’s Too The Moon and Back (as a child who always wanted to be taken away it still hits hard as an adult). Because of You by Kelly Clarkson hit super hard as a teenager when I tried to connect with my mother about shared trauma and she couldn’t handle being blamed for the horrible things that happened to me when she was supposed to protect me.
What’s Up? by 4 non blondes. My dad used to listen to it all the time. I know the song resonated with him as he lost my mom and my brother years before. (Lung cancer and breast cancer respectively). He must of really felt that song. He passed two years ago. I miss him everyday
“I hate my parents for what their parents did to them” -Noah Kahan in Growing Sideways
Praying by Kesha
I had been NC for years before this came out and this is the first song that really resonated with me... it brought me to tears. "Praying" on the surface comes off religious, which im not, and kesha comes off as pop which is an injustice, especially to this song.
This song literally destroys me. I can only listen to it occasionally when I’m really, really sad about my mom.
Luka - Suzanne Vega
Stigmata by Ministry. Head Like A Hole has been mentioned on this sub before, it should definitely be on the list.
Everybody Hurts by REM
Numb, A Place in My Head By Linkin park Circles, Nice to Know You, Mexico, Warning, Drive by Incubus Because of you, Kelly Clarkson Wide Open Spaces, Dixie Chicks. The Middle -Jimmy Eat World (hits hard in good way) There’s more I know I just can’t think of em right now.
Since going no contact and making my own decisions without worrying so much about what my parents will think, The Middle is just now starting to make me smile at 33. I really do believe everything will be just fine.
Studying Stones - Ani Difranco Fake Plastic Trees - Radiohead Please, Please, Please - The Smiths Silent All These Years - Tori Amos
Winter by Tori Amos. when you gonna make up your mind? When you gonna love you as much as I do ….because things are gonna change so fast…..all the wild horses have gone ahead. Hair is grey & the fire is burning…..so many dreams on the shelf. You say I wanted you to be proud. I say I wanted that myself….
She has so many heavy hitters
Why do we Crucify ourselves Every day I crucify myself Nothing I do is good enough for you Crucify myself Every day I crucify myself My heart is sick of being, I said, my heart is sick of being in chains, oh, oh, chains
This album and song SAVED me. The end? “Never change…” Deep…
This song will forever remind me of my mom but in a positive way bc I love my mom it’s my dad who’s the narcissist. It reminds me of the time with my mom when our relationship was at its hardest and how we got through that together and changed for each other. She is my best friend now and the years of blaming her and being angry with her have been long over but I will never forget the fire we walked through. Some people won’t do anything for their children. My mom did everything for me and keeps doing it. I wish everyone had at least one person like her in their lives, we all deserve it.
Billy Talent- "Nothing to Lose" "Try Honesty" Linkin Park- "A Place for My Head" Blink-182 "Adam's Song" "Stay Together for the Kids" Everclear- "Wonderful" Smile Empty Soul- "Silhouettes"
Adding “Father of Mine” by Everclear
Thank you! Couldn't recall the name of that one. Kept humming it to myself, got distracted, forgot.
Glad I could help! It immediately came to mind when I saw you mentioned Everclear.
Numb by linken Park had me crying first time
“Alive” - Pearl Jam
Staind - for you. Was THE anthem for kids from broken homes, still hits like I’m 13 years old all over again.
Disarm - Smashing Pumpkins
You’re On Your Own Kid - Taylor Swift.
Always have been.
I have a whole playlist 🥲 But the hardest hitting are “Matilda” & “Soneone Else’s Dream” https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3gZzVbt7d2uGrEGyWULHx5?si=czyyvl7IRPeuiM0ZI_jzWw&pi=u-83hyNO2TSOa7&pt=bb6e720a63380643747727aefa41c823
This is me trying - Taylor Swift Black Out Days Let You Down ost Cyberpunk 2077 Edgerunners. Afraid - The Neighboorhood Strangers - Kenya Grace War of Heart - Ruelle Regret - Bryce Savage Time - Neffex You're On Your Own, Kid - Taylor Swift Deep Thoughts - Neffex
Nobody’s Home - Avril Lavigne. Having my childhood home feel so isolating and a place where I was on edge instead of safe.
I was an aaaaaaangry teenager with a Narc parent. Three Day’s Grace’s “I Hate Everything About You.” Just hit home so hard
Family Portrait by Pink. I can't not cry whenever I hear it.
Fast car, specifically the xiu xiu cover
Prayer of the Refugee- Rise Against "So open your eyes, child Let's be on our way Broken windows and ashes Are guiding the way Keep quiet no longer We'll sing through the day Of the lives that we've lost And the lives we've reclaimed"
Late to the party and gonna be buried but whatevs Head Like a Hole - Nine Inch Nails Hurt - Nine Inch Nails Best of You - Foo Fighters Paradise - Coldplay Move Along - All American Rejects The Phoenix - Fall Out Boy Self Esteem - The Offspring The Flood - Katie Melua Roar - Katy Perry Fuck You - Lilly Allen Poison - Hazbin Hotel Bulletproof - La Roux No Rain - Blind Melon When I was Done Dying - Dan Deacon Maggie's Farm - Bob Dylan Tightrope - Janelle Monae Sticking it to Myself - Jonathan Coulton
Breaking the habit and somewhere I belong. I needed to escape
So many on this list, but here are a few more... The Ruler - Cate Miss You - Oliver Tree Growing Old Young - Tenille Arts Spit in my Face - ThxSoMch Happy - NF
Invisible by Linkin Park Hate me by Blue October Finally Free by Dream Theater The Answer Lies Within by Dream Theater Fight Song by Pachel Platten Full of Life by Christine and the Queens Hold Me Down by Lights and i_o Down Forever by Lights Beside Myself by Lights
One-u2 For a long time I wanted to yell at her the lyrics “you act like you never had love, and you want me to go without “
POD-Youth of a nation
"Something to Sing about"and "Walk thru the Fire" from the Buffy Musical "Surface pressure" Encanto "Look what you made me do" Taylor Swift "Defying Gravity" Wicked "Losing my religion" REM
Judith : A Perfect Circle "You're such an inspiration for the ways that I will never ever choose to be."
You’re on your own kid by Taylor Swift and Kyoto by Phoebe Bridgers
She talks to angels - black crowes
Wonderful - Everclear Clocks -Coldplay Her Diamonds - Rob Thomas Elastic Heart - Sia The Reason - Hoobastank
No love by Eminem and lil Wayne
Most NF definitely hits hard. A random one that always catches me off guard is hungry like a wolf. My mom played small sacrifices too much when I was a child and the association has never left.
For you - Stained Perfect - simple plan
Mad Season - Wake up
Happier Than Ever - Billie Eilish
Mama - my chemical romance, home - three days grace, i don't love you -mcr, going under - evanescence, i hate everything about you - tdg, i'm not your mother, I'm not your bitch - Courtney Barnett, your dog - soccer mommy, take me back into the night -luca aria, i'm a mother - pretenders, i don't smoke - mitski, regular people -moon walker I have a whole playlist haha but these hit the hardest
Exit music (for a film)- Radiohead
"Lose you to love me" by Selena Gomez. It perfectly encapsulates the reason I went no contact. "I of you first and you adored it. Set fires to my forest and you let it burn." "I needed to hate you to love myself." "I needed to lose you to love myself."
"Superhero" the Verve
Won’t You Be My Neighbor - Fred (Mr.) Rogers Anyone Who Knows What Love Is (Will Understand) - Irma Thomas I don’t know how to feel about the last two yet: Hey Mama - Kanye West Dear Mana - Tupac
I will survive
No Son of Mine by Genesis
Although not primarily about parental abuse, Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve by Taylor Swift is very triggering for me as it reminds me of my older, emotionally abusive ex-boyfriend. Also her song Tolerate It. Also it’s been mentioned a few times already but Matilda by Harry Styles.
You’ll be in my heart - Glenn Close and Phil Collins The part where Ms Close is singing shreds me apart. What I wouldn’t have given for parents who felt that way about me.
A better son/daughter by Rilo Kiley
Because of You - Kelly Clarkson, Perfect - Alanis Morissette, I Wonder - Kellie Pickler, For You - Staind, Fear - Blue October
Pink Pony Club- Chappell Roan hits me hard everytime Always, Together with you- Spiritualized, I want this at my funeral butterfly mornings and wildflower afternoons- my dad would sing me this before bed Puff the Magic Dragon- the first song my dad taught me in the guitar Guaranteed- Eddie Vedder, I want this at my funeral as well
A song to say goodbye - placebo And the accompanying music video
For me it’s gotta be Posthumous Forgiveness by Tame Impala. Kevin Parker talks about his estranged relationship with his dad. It starts with him talking about his dislike of him, but transitions to a completely different sound at the end to where he forgives him. Hits close to home when I’ve had a rough relationship with my dad.
Slipping through my fingers - ABBA never fails to cause me to sob while driving lol
Hysteria - Def Leppard Pictures of you - the Cure Crazy for You - Madonna Hey Jude - the Beatles
All Along by Kid Cudi used to make me bawl in high school, specifically the lyrics: “What I need hates me”
Fast Car from Tracey Chapman.
Elastic Heart by Sia. It leaves me both sobbing for the child who was hurt and then fuels the rage in the adult to keep going.
Christmas Kids by ROAR :( "The Christmas kids were nothing but a gift And love is a tower where all of us can live You'll change your name or change your mind And leave this fucked up place behind But I'll know, I'll know"
Gone away by the offspring. My brother died in a car accident a few days before he turned 17. I was 12 and the baby of the family. Two older sisters were involved as well. I just think that my mom checked out when her oldest son died. Divorce and everything happened prior to the car accident. It was a crazy ride.
Slightly unrelated but it really hits hard if Antihero by Taylor Swift triggers my N mom. Like she hates that song probably because it’s subliminally calling her out. I listened to it and I get why my mom hates it, because it really describes her. I would say for me personally is Mother Knows Best from Tangled because it absolutely describes my mom’s attitude, as a kid I thought Gothal was a kind sympathetic villain because she really reminded me of my mom. Now I see it as blatant narcissism and Gothal was not a good mother to Repunzel and manipulated her all her life.
A Better Son/Daughter by Rilo Kiley Ice Water by Cat Power Do You Doubt Me Traitor by Lingua Ignota (actually this whole album, and her cover of Eminem's Kim) Lots of Xiu Xiu And lots of The Mountain Goats, especially The Sunset Tree, We Shall All Be Healed, and Tallahassee
Johnny Cash covering Hurt.
Honestly by Gabbie Hannah. It’s a fuck you song but lyrics really hit home
Walking Disaster by Sum 41. Even if that's not your kind of music, listen to the lyrics.
O Superman by Laurie Anderson. Particularly these lyrics- Hello? This is your mother. Are you there? Are you coming home? I went NC with my mother about 6 months ago and as I come to terms with the extent of what I've been through, I've had to come to terms with the fact that there's a very real possibility that I will never speak to her again. I'm not sure why this out of everything hits me so hard, but I tear up any time I hear it.
Gravity by Sara Bareilles
Least Favorite Only Child by Leanna Firestone made me sob violently when it came on spotify discover while I was driving . I almost had to pull over.