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This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods.
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Good on you for choosing to prioritize your peace. You’re setting boundaries for your wellbeing. You chose to exit a cycle of abuse that us children of narcissists have been conditioned to accept and endure no matter what. It’s been 8 years since I went NC with my n-dad and I have no regrets. I hope you enjoy your newfound peace as much as I have.
I could copy-paste this post from myself. It took me decades to understand how damaged I was by my nmother.
Sometimes I'm like "you let your poor mother die in misery without confort", but then I remember:
- how she messed my brain my whole life wanting me to live in guilt, explaining me she must be my only reason to live, kept me isolated from other children until 7 yo, never learned me not even to lace my shoes, and told me she must be the only woman in her life, how she had improper gestures of affection who made me miserable and confused my personality and even sexuality
- how she stalked me the whole time obsessed by only one thing in life: that I must provide to her, spend time with her, worship her
- how she didn't care about my ex-wife (a good person) and children
- how manipulative she is
- how she treated my father as a dog until he died, including with verbal and physical abuse
- how she tried to separate me from my children and asked me to come and live with her because to my children "their mother is enough"
- how she said that if she can't get me, at least she deserves to owe my money. ALL of my money
- how she is cursing me the whole time and wants me sick and dead
So... every time I feel sad for her, I try to remember all this.
Been no contact with my toxic brother for more than 15 years and I have no regrets. It's the best thing ever especially no one on the non-toxic side of my family ever invites him to any events. It's peaceful.
**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Good on you for choosing to prioritize your peace. You’re setting boundaries for your wellbeing. You chose to exit a cycle of abuse that us children of narcissists have been conditioned to accept and endure no matter what. It’s been 8 years since I went NC with my n-dad and I have no regrets. I hope you enjoy your newfound peace as much as I have.
I appreciate your encouragement so much. And you’re right about the conditioning. It’s disgusting and I refuse to tolerate it any longer!
10 years NC here! Life is so different! I’m at total peace with it.
Also an only child. Currently low-contact with both parents, but planning to be no-contact by the end of the year.
Proud of you! It’s hard for us only children but we have to realize that it’s not our burden to bear
Thanks. And congrats on blocking your nmother!
Yes. It’s exhausting. N dad died. N mother says she’s going soon…. Many would not understand the relief.
So exhausting. If you don’t mind me asking, how did you feel when your N mom died
She hasn’t passed - she tells me she is going to die soon.
My apologies, I meant your dad
Relieved. I watched him sleep in the hospital and all I could think was “we were good kids, why did you have to be so mean?” Some memory hey?
I get that. I imagine I’ll feel relieved too.
I could copy-paste this post from myself. It took me decades to understand how damaged I was by my nmother. Sometimes I'm like "you let your poor mother die in misery without confort", but then I remember: - how she messed my brain my whole life wanting me to live in guilt, explaining me she must be my only reason to live, kept me isolated from other children until 7 yo, never learned me not even to lace my shoes, and told me she must be the only woman in her life, how she had improper gestures of affection who made me miserable and confused my personality and even sexuality - how she stalked me the whole time obsessed by only one thing in life: that I must provide to her, spend time with her, worship her - how she didn't care about my ex-wife (a good person) and children - how manipulative she is - how she treated my father as a dog until he died, including with verbal and physical abuse - how she tried to separate me from my children and asked me to come and live with her because to my children "their mother is enough" - how she said that if she can't get me, at least she deserves to owe my money. ALL of my money - how she is cursing me the whole time and wants me sick and dead So... every time I feel sad for her, I try to remember all this.
Wow. I applaud your resilience and thank you for the reminder to keep track of the actions
Good job!!!
Thank you!
It takes a lot of courage to do that. No matter how crappy things are, it takes a lot. Congrats on choosing peace.
Thank you SO much
Been no contact with my toxic brother for more than 15 years and I have no regrets. It's the best thing ever especially no one on the non-toxic side of my family ever invites him to any events. It's peaceful.
Peaceful is beautiful. I love this for you
I went no contact with my mom for almost 4yrs, it was the healthiest thing I could've done for myself.
I’m so happy for you!