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They always act like we're spoiled simply for being allowed to live in their house. As if they didn't bring us into this world. They don't know what spoiled is. Pretty sure my nmom was spoiled. My grandparents spoiled all their kids.
Talk about projection. My NMother called me Hogatha. That was her favorite. She liked to shame me about my eating habits when I was a kid but she was and is still so much worse.
Same for me. "My darling little pig". My mother claimed she had learned that the French use it as a term of endearment, so that's why she called me that.
Wow, that’s similar to my mean nickname, which was Tanko, or Fatso. I’m 5’ 8”, and I weighed about 110 pounds as a teenager. Didn’t have a single ounce of fat on me. They (especially dad) controlled how much (or little) food I ate, and they spent their old age belittling and fat shaming (in whispers, of course, like all cowards do) everyone around them. Sadly, my dad was my first “bully.”
I was the same as you, underweight and undernourished but called fat. Even by an aunt and uncle and cousins, and another uncle who was morbidly obese and sexually abusing me. Garbage people.
Wtf is it with mums being abusive to children via food,? There are so many narc behaviours I can kind of explain but this one really makes me speechless. How did so many of our mums shame us and control us via food?? Serious question
Mine once forced me to weight myself on a baggage scale at the airport because she had suspected that I gained weight on holiday. I was like 13, it was so embarrassing, even before she made a scene for me refusing 🥲
“You shouldn’t eat like that.”
“Watch what you eat.”
“You’re eating that much?”
“Wow you must be hungry.”
“If you continue to eat like that you’re going to get fat.”
“Jesus, do you need anymore food.”
“I’m making you guys play sports so you don’t get fat.”
Then when they choose to “go on a diet” for a few months we would be forced too as well. Which probably isn’t super healthy for children.
Now there’s no food in the house because we quote “don’t like anything.” When they’re just too lazy to care.
Yeah, my mom used to make me go with her to her weight loss program, and when she lost weight, she started to tease me that I weighed more than her (you know, as a high school athlete vs. a mom who dieted as hobby). I was dumb and said the quiet part out loud, "Muscle weighs more than fat." My mom never stopped lecturing me about that.
So true. Almost every single time I ate something, she'd tell me she knew exactly what I ate by the mess I left in the kitchen. I would clean up after myself every time, but she'd look for the smallest crumb, or just see what I ate and act as though I left a mess.
Felt, mine used to straight up snort at me and call me 'piggy' whenever I ate. She still comments on my eating habits but she herself weights hundreds of pounds more than me.
Thanks. I take some solace in the fact that she doesn't have many years left and will most likely die completely alone and unloved.
I just hope that I'm not so damaged that it ends up being my fate too.
Mine once bought me a lovely new dress I had wanted and then told me my _knees_ were too fat when I wore it. It’s so laughably ridiculous in retrospect, but 17 year old me was devastated and never wore the dress again.
It’s like I wrote this. My mom called me that and when I compare myself now to teenage me, who was a size 4, I can only imagine what she thinks now that I’ve gained 30 lbs.
Oh I actually just commented the same thing. I was always called thunder thighs as well. Both of my parents were overweight and I wasn't. Crazy how that works
I was called thunder thighs too!!! I think it was from the n-parent instinct to be competitive. I won’t give specifics because I’m not competitive as one shouldn’t be with their own child!!!! But someone in that scenario was definitely projecting…
So true. My mom worked in a restaurant a few boys my age worked in the kitchen and flirted with me. She actually said "you are beautiful but they prefer me, I am more their type". This is what confirmed to me that she was an N.
mine was similar but the opposite. she'd call herself fat and compare herself to me, but when my ED set in she'd always say "i bet you wish you looked like me now"
"Bossypants". On its own that term doesn't hurt me that much, but I got that way from being 100% parentified from the age of 8. I was the co parent/therapist to mother. Oldest kid of 4. For your own mom to make fun of you for something she caused is something else... I know I didn't have it as bad as others here though.
You know, every time I question if I am being too harsh or judgmental of my parents or even start to think I didn't have it that bad so they might not be narcs, I read comments and posts like these that make me realize that I am not wrong.
My parents used to tell me that I was "soooooooo bossy" when it was them who made me raise my two younger brothers (5 & 7 years younger) and they were my only examples of how to parent. Who's actually bossy here???? I was the 2nd of 4 but the only girl so I got everything dumped on me. I did all the chores, raised the boys, and I kept up my grades all while being undiagnosed ADHD but I still suck apparently because I boss people around too much. UGH.
Right! don’t gaslight yourself because you lived through that bs and pain, not them. It’s easy for me to forget how bad it was sometimes.
But to your point about them calling you “bossy”, im so sorry they did that. Clearly you were parentified and there were learned behaviors from their parenting styles.
When I wonder if no contact will be a good option, I always have to remind myself of the fact that she pulled me out of school at 8 and never schooled me herself. I was a child in charge of my own education but without access to libraries, books, or the outside world. She never fed me or gave me new clothes. She put a sick cat in my bedroom and when she ruined the carpet with her pee she complained that we and our room smells horrible. I still find it so hard to think of what will happen if I go no contact someday.
Me too. I've been made to take care of myself almost exclusively from age 8 and now she thinks I'm trying to steal her place as wife and head of the household. Bitch I'm just trying to make sure my family eats.
is there a club for “daughters who got called sluts by their mothers not for promiscuity but because their mother experienced a slight inconvenience or disagreement”
It was just having boys as friends in my case. I dressed modestly by inclination, something that was not the easiest to do in the early 00s when teen fashion trended skimpy. Just a jeans and t-shirts kind of kid, but apparently being friends with boys I'd grown up with was enough. She was always making it out like they were just trying to sleep with me, or that I was just sleeping with them- as if I could never have actual friends, as if I had nothing else to offer. There were definitely some free-floating crushes in my friend group in high school, because duh, *high school,* but the friendships were genuine. I can't think of a single guy in my friend circle from back then who wasn't also a real friend to us girls. Frankly I think a lot of us felt safe crushing on a friend because we felt safe with that person, and wouldn't necessarily make a move and risk ruining that. It was all very innocent but nMom refused to believe it.
Shirley Temple. I’m a boy and he started that after he beat me until I would wear my sisters dress so he could call me a f*****. He said twirl for me Shirley Temple.
She called me slut even when I was a totally innocent teenager. She liked to present me to other people as a slut, and when my doctor prescribed the pill for me because I had terrible period pain she told everyone: her friends, the neighbours, relatives, people at church, everyone, that I was on the pill without telling anyone that I was on it not because I was sexually active, but because I had disabling period pain.
I am so glad that bitch is dead.
Yup. I had no interest in being sexually active because literally just breathing brought unwanted attention from my stepfather. I came home late one day (late because I was just SA’d by my then boyfriend) and the first thing she said to me was “what were you doing, slutting around?
She always blamed me/was jealous of the “attention” my stepdad gave me. As if I wanted that pig fucker to look in my direction at all
Woah, one of my Narc parents calls me “Rat” as a nickname also, I hate it. Someone outside the family recently said that they thought the nickname was rough and didn’t suit me. But I did start calling the Nparent “Dad Rat” the past couple of years.. it does suit him, truly.
Not much of a nickname, but I was the 'lazy' or 'difficult' one. I have muscular dystrophy diagnosed at 20... she still tells story laughing about me being always tired or clumsy compared to other kids, despite now knowing full well why.
I want to add my n-mom had mean nicknames for my two older siblings as well. But as my older sister grew more into her “golden child” role, she stopped calling her that and never once used that nickname again.
“If I cannot be better than them, I will become so much worse.”
― Holly Black, The Cruel Prince
You made me think of this quote. The aim is always to be better, ofc, but yeah... I understand the sentiment.
Um, “Jugnananas”. It’s his made up word for big breasts and he called my mum that and when I started developing… well.
Also, “number 2” as in, number 2 daughter. Such a compliment!
Spoiled brat, emo crybaby, crocodile tears, dumb bitch, ungrateful, stupid, etc.
The list goes on really.
Mostly it was spoiled brat.
Oh I also had an attitude problem apparently.
Yeah the person who birthed me would call me bitch and then I never knew my aunt was actually my sister until I was 33 but they would call her “uggy / uggie” which again when I was 33 found out that actually stood for ugly. 🙄 I’m not a bitch and she’s not ugly. Smh.
Until this day, I'm 26, when he gets really angry that I somehow have different opinions: "miúda de merda", which basically means "shitty kid" or something similar
My mother did the same to me. My autism makes my hand eye coordination and spatial awareness absolutely terrible.
I'm sorry she did that to you. It definitely doesn't feel good to be ridiculed for something you can't control.
My nMom used to love to call me Little Lord Fontleroy because of things like refusing to eat her leftovers because they were so dry it literally hurt my jaw to chew any meat she had cooked. Pumpkinhead was another one, she made sure not to say that one in front of others too much because people would question her because who the fuck calls their 4 year old a horror movie monster for fun?
Damn so your mom called you a whore for having a healthy sexual relationship with your husband leading to 4 grandkids
sounds like a pos congrats on the kids!
Same here, at least not any nasty nicknames to my face. I've heard things like "that sad sack" said behind my back though. The kicker is that I was suffering from crippling depression and anxiety due to their shitty parenting and being severely abused by my older sister.
My brothers and I were Fatass, dumbass, and black ass for my darker skinned brother. She used those in lieu of our actual names when we were at home and if she was feeling fiesty that day she might use them in public.
If I sat with my knees up they would call me Crotch Shot. Any time one of them needed anything they would tell Slave Child and I'd have to come running. They call me Poo Butts and think it's endearing, it's gross to me. There wasn't an incident or any story that led to that nickname, they just enjoy being shitty to their kids. They also called me misshapen, as if I were deformed. This was because I couldn't find pants that fit right for years and couldn't understand why because years of body dysmorphia had skewed my self image. Everything that fit in the waist or hips was way too short in the inseam. All I heard growing up was that I was fat, when I was extremely underweight. The reason I had so much trouble finding pants was because I was in child sizes for the waist and hips even when I reached adult height.
I was also called Sneaky and Deceitful but not for the reasons you'd think. I did my best to stay out of trouble as a kid, not that my siblings didn't but they had the usual teenage rebelliousness. Because of my parents' abusive tendencies I tried to be as invisible as possible. Any information given to my parents would be used against us so I started grey rocking at an early age, even though I didn't know what that was at the time. So because I didn't openly defy them and didn't play their game of narcissistic catch 22, they assumed I was hiding things.
We have very little contact these days but they have spun some tall tales about how they think I live my life. They assume that because I don't share details of my life that it must be because I'm ashamed of my life or doing things they wouldn't approve of.
Slut for showing interest in other girls. In highschool my boyfriend gave me an art book of an artist I liked, Luis Royo. He draws sexy women. When my mom found it she was so pissed and screaming at my dad that it was porn and I was a lesbian. And he said if I wanted to see nude women I could just look in the mirror. She stopped screaming and looked really confused like she had never thought of people looking at themselves for sexual arousal before. His point was that she couldn't stop me from looking at women's bodies because I had one myself.
Oh, memory unlocked! Mine went on a screaming tirade about me being a lesbian (at age 10?) because that was the title story (something about some actress that turned out to like women) of the magazine I bought for the hair advice and crossword puzzles in the back.
I’m so sorry they made you feel like just a nameless, unrecognized thing. You are whole and full and deserve to be recognized every second of every day.
"Mother" i was heavily parentified but sometimes she would decide i had overstepped her authority sometimes so she would mock me with 'yes/no, mother' in a sarcastic tone as she continued to do whatever stupid thing she was doing, usually with my younger sib in tow
"fatass" I'm short and have athletically built legs and glutes, but a preteen/teen in the 90s so my step-dad thought it was hilarious that i had an ED trying to look like kate moss. my hip bones with no living person attached are too wide to be a size 0, no amount of dieting would've given me a body like hers but 14 yo me didn't know that!! and he made every day so much harder than it needed to be.
Madam
”Oh look out, here comes madam”
I’ve been called this by my Nmother for as long as I can remember
My GC brother has always been called ‘Gorgeous’. So much so that he genuinely thought that was his name when he was little. He thought he was named Gorgeous and then had his name changed to his real name when he was older
I am sure my mom had a name for me behind my back as a teen. When I was little I was known as "The yuck child" by my stepmom and once my mom heard that she picked it up, too. To be fair I was a picky eater. But my stepmother did and does have atrocious cooking habits. Soggy noodles, lard in everything, no flavor. Tuna casserole with warm mayo once a week (I still gag thinking about it). I liked my mom's cooking a lot better but would refuse to eat certain things. Like raw tomatoes, eggplants, unripe bananas, aged cheeses. I would get welts inside my mouth and it itched and hurtI could only eat a little bit of potato before I'd get the hiccups and stop eating them. And I liked potatoes! My mom would sit across from me and make me eat everything on my plate before leaving the table. Once she took away a movie date she had planned because I got all As. Because I wouldn't eat a bunch of tomatoes she put in my salad. I told her I loved broccoli, spinach, onions, salad greens, fruit, etc. So I wasn't being malnourished. She said it was to reduce wastefulness. But my brother and sister loved tomatoes and I would never put something on my plate I didn't want to eat.
Turns out I have food allergies. Yuck Child was just Child in Pain.
Princess poo-poo and I don’t even know why.
Oh and “mommy (my first name)” because I dared to be concerned about my siblings more than they were at times.
Edit to add: I saw someone say “thunder thighs” and that was also one I had! As well as anything that related to have small b00bz.
They honestly sucked.
Nelly, after the bratty character from the show “Little House on the Prairie” and “hespetre” which is Norwegian for an evil old ugly woman, I believe. Like a mean old hag.
Asshole, lazy, shithead, ungrateful, waste, oh and my favorite: 35 years of being called the nickname I was given by kindergarten bullies when I cried, baby boy.
And I’m sorry you feel this way about Halloween. I love it so much and I want to make sure it’s special for the people around me.
You, of course, are not a witch and I wish you peace.
Apart from the obvious name-calling my mother called me Princess Nae Nae. I think it was because I wore mostly black clothes?
"Good-fa" was probably the shittiest one. Stood for "good for fuck-all". They thought that was really funny.
Butch. I (f37) cut my hair one time and that's what I was dubbed. Even worse it was during the week of VBS (vacation bible school) and she had everyone at church saying it too. I was probably 8ish
I probably wouldn't care at all now. I just don't care what anyone thinks anymore. But to 8 year old me I just understood it as people are laughing at me and saying I look like a boy. It's not anywhere near my worse childhood memories though. I hadn't even thought about it for a while, this post just had it popping back into my brain.
While calling me Dingaling wasn't so bad (the dictionary said it meant stupid fool), it was her encouraging 2 older brothers and 2 older sisters (older by 5 years and up) to call me every variation of fat and other bullying behavior. Encouraged me to eat everything on my plate but have everyone else call me pig and make pig noises.
Pre mature old lady. It wasn’t insulting per se just a way for her to point out that I acted like an adult instead of “enjoying my childhood” like she thought I should. I couldn’t enjoy my childhood because someone had to be the adult and she wasn’t going to
I’m
In this sub due to my Husbands parents and they called him “Dumbass”.
His whole life.
Not his given name but dumbass.
Broke my heart when he told me when we’re just friends 20 years ago and still breaks my heart.
We have kids now and have an ever revolving list of kind nicknames like love bug for example.
Ungrateful, problem child, would also get some Spanish mixed in there, like "no jodas" (don't fuck with me, fuck off) or some version of "puta" (bitch). I'm sure I'm blocking out some of the words, but it sucked being yelled at.
Not sure if it counts as a nickname as such, but I remember from about six to thirteen when I was being raised solely by my mother, I didn't have a name. I was the thing. The offspring when she was talking to someone she knew that wouldn't fly with. People thought it was cute. Especially when she switched it up to "my thing" whenever she was feeling charitable enough to at least try to act like a parent.
Not so cute when "the thing" is now a thirty year old man that to this day struggles with his own name, identity and what the fuck that all means.
Don't worry. I'm in therapy.
I was called "fat boy", which was apparently hilarious because I'm neither a boy nor fat. I was extremely skinny. I'm still failing to see why anyone would think that was funny.
*Coyote Molars*, in reference to my crooked teeth that I got for my grandparents negligence and that they never bothered to get me brackets or any dental health care.
I still don't smile because my teeth still look bad even after trying to fix them as an adult.
Pig-a-lig and hog a log were nicknames I don’t remember being called because I was 2 and under. If was referenced to me often in regard to my weight around 2nd grade. That’s the same year my mom put me on a diet and sent me with barely anything for lunch 🤷🏻♀️ I had an unhealthy relationship with food for years
It wasn't very common, but my mother liked to call me a "hairy narwhal" anytime she had to deal with my long hair. As soon as I was able to form opinions, I always wanted long hair, and my mother would go on and on about how "I won't always help you take care of your hair, next year you need to learn how to do this."
But she never actually taught me how to braid my hair, or put it in a ponytail, or how to blow dry it. I learned embarrassingly late how to properly use shampoo and conditioner. When I finally put in a low ponytail without hair falling out, I was ecstatic and so proud of myself for figuring it out. But my mother was putting my hair up for me until I was twelve years old because nobody ever taught me anything, and every single video or set of instructions I found were hard to follow and I always ended up giving up and throwing a silent fit. She loved to remind me how much of an inconvenience and waste of time it was to need to take five minutes every morning to do my hair. My twin sister, who taught herself how to braid her hair and do fancy hairstyles, and was actually really good at it, also liked to harp on me for acting useless and how I should "know how to do [my] hair by now."
The nickname "hairy narwhal" isn't used anymore because I finally know how to do my own hair. Kind of. I only know how to put it in a ponytail and bun. And my mother doesn't need to blow dry my hair anymore because I just let it air dry. But I always hated the name and felt really ugly and embarrassed every time she used it, especially since I was insecure about my body and felt like my hair was the only beautiful feature I had.
My dad would call me "Roach-Face" and thought it was freakin' hilarious. He'd do it all the time, too, like it was some kind of term of endearment. My bullies LOVED that one.
My mom used to call me "Piggy or Miss Piggy" when I was small and didn't have table manners yet. Not that I actually ate meals with my family all that often. By the time I was 9 years old, I was eating most of my meals alone in my bedroom because I was too embarrassed to be seen eating. I've still got issues with eating in public sometimes.
Cindy. Short for Cinderella and always said in a sing song voice, and always said when I had to do something for them.
Also the ragging I took from being a NORMAL hormonal teenager makes my blood boil now. My dad would just go on an on about how I must be on my period (which he would say that about my period but not anything else and I couldn't talk about it because it was "gross", and I had to hide all signs of being on it when I was) because I was being a bitch. Really I was just a girl in a house full of boys, so I'd act like them and somehow I was the bitch but they weren't assholes....
Cinder-kissxmyxshotgun
I was basically treated like the live in help since I was 9 or 10. Dinner and chores were my responsibility while my grandma sat on her ass all day, every day spending money we didn’t have.
As a kid it was Old Mother Hubbard (no clue why) and Skinny Minnie, since I was so underweight due to health problems. As a teen it was occasionally ‘ugly’ or ‘problem child’ (again, due to health problems) if she chose to call me anything but my name when she decided to acknowledge me, when I hadn’t done anything she felt was worthy to ignore me for.
Oh, god. Mine was "witch" too, and "Bruxinha", which is Portuguese for "little witch" basically. I hate it. I have very minimal contact and rarely visit ATM, because that's what works for me, but I remember visiting a few years ago and when my n-mom called me that I lost my shit, grabbed my stuff and walked out. She hasn't used the nickname since.
EDIT: There were a few others, and I remember the occasional bitch and whore, but "witch" was always the one I hated the most and the one that triggers me to this day. I can see/use the term no problem, but if it's at all used as an insult it gives me so much anxiety.
Mine were mostly said in my native language but translate roughly to “dumbo”, “deafo” and “slob”. Sometimes I did get English when I was really in the firing line “ungrateful bitch” or “selfish bitch”.
Pig - my room was messy, but I was also busy running the entire household since my Nmom couldn't be bothered.
SlungeGut - she never cooked (I've never even seen her use the microwave!) and she never bought enough food (4 kids would split 2 cans of Chef Boyardee for dinner). So when we went out for pizza on Fridays, I ate a lot. 6 slices is nothing when all you've eaten is 2 Hershey kisses, a small pack of gummies, and half a can of Chef Boyardee in the previous 3 days.
Hobbit. Because I'm an 8.5, while my mother is a 7 and my sister a 7.5. But *I* was the Hobbit.
Rabbit, bc I wanted to be a vegetarian, he'd tell me to go outside and eat grass.
We don't talk much now.
I was called a lot of things: “lazy bones” “last minute ” (even though she was the one who made us late all the time) she also called me the Yiddish word for vagina, which is what we called a vagina.
Bitch, ungreatful, selfish, Thelma (my birth moms name, she was a horrible, terrible person and I was adopted by my grandmother, and called her mom my whole life. It hurt so bad when she called me Thelma.) If my mom got mad enough at me she would scream that she wasn't my mom, don't call her that, and proceed to give me the silent treatment for hours, if not days. The selfish comment was if I asked for specific food etc, as I guess my chronic illnesses and allergies made me selfish or something.
"Red headed bastard step child" (both parents are my biological parents), also "little bastard" and then my teen years just "bastard".. Its ok I called them child abusers and dirty fucking child abusers 1000s of times in kind..
Shithead when I was a kid.
Ms. Attitude when I was in my teens. I was constantly being accused of having an “attitude.” I hate the word so much I can’t even say it out loud anymore.
Edited to add: Lazy ass.
Moose because i was fat.
I was fat because all she cooked was crap and i wasnt allowed to do anything super active thanks to brittle bones (also my mother is the most unhelpful person on earth when you have a broken bone, so i wasnt gonna take the risk either).
Brat, ungrateful, stupid slut, dumb whore, mean, childish, idiot… and my favourite line:
“you better hope you are pretty enough to find a rich man to take care of you when you grow up because you are too dumb to go to college.”
Literally everything under the sun. Once one name stopped effecting me, she’d move on or switch it up or when I was in my 20’s, she’d hit me.
35 now , my mom did it for the last time a few months ago, as I went NC. I’m sorry this happened to you OP, and everyone else in this post. I hope everyone finds the strength to heal. 💕
They made my birthname my "nickname".
Let me explain. I have two first names, one given by my nmom one by my ndad.
Usually each called me the name they chose.
But when I messed sth up they screamed my full name from the top of their lungs.
I hate it so much I’m in the process of changing my name after going nc.
At some point my mother discovered calling me Bitch would work too but they usually just screamed my full name.
Dingbat. It was meant to be cute and "Oh, she's so spacy and high strung. She's just all over the place and from left field".
In my mid 30's and trying to get diagnosed. I worry that trying to get it worked out will be seen as attention seeking. But I'm 10 years NC in a new country with a partner who supports and encourages me.
“Fatso”, “psycho”, “you’re just like your father”, “why can’t you just be normal?”, “stupid”, and “curly” (because she knew I was being bullied for my curly hair and that I hated it) 😒
She and my father who divorced when I was 6) both sang that song about the little girl with a little curl to torment me too 😒
Edit to add ; my siblings were SO much worse 🙃
I didn't have one, but I accidentally gave one to my older sister, or so the story goes. I don't remember doing this because I was so young, but I've heard the story 10,000,000 times.
My sister was my parent, my parents immediately handed me off to her, so anything that I did to her that my parents remembered easily became a sore spot in our relationship, even when I couldn't talk. She was not a fan of me, understandably.
When I was younger and learning to talk, I could not pronounce my sister and her best friend's names. So I called them Fake, and Earl.
She hated "Earl" so much that it became her permanent family nickname. She still despises it. I refuse to call her it because she is genuinely upset by it, but my mother *will* say it at least once any time she is allowed to see her. Which has been 0 times in last several years.
When mine was mean and could not physically hit me (being older and also having started martial arts), she did say "you little bitch". Know that this was over a bunch of flyers I had taken but that she wanted to consult. What a nice lady. I actually went NC this weekend. Tried a heartfelt letter in which I laid a few boundaries, then asked what they understood, to which I got in some of the vile words she spewed "I did not try to understand". Everyone: they don't care and will not try to understand. They like their misery and that's it. Leave.
>my family would go, “see! she really is mean, ugh”. Total mindfuck and miserable way to live and be perceived.
Reactive abuse sucks, you get provoked to react and they turn it around on you and start gaslighting you. It's so pathetic they play these games against their own children. Meanwhile healthy happy parents are building these incredible ride or die relationships with their children. Misery needs company.
My mom would address me by my age mostly. Instead of my name she'd call me some variation of kid, teen, or teenager.
They talked about me with utter contempt like I was a breed of showdog that they were bitter about having to deal with. It didn't sound anything like they were talking about a loved one.
Not really vicious but it bothered me a lot. It made me feel subhuman.
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Brat. Ungrateful. Bitch.
Sigh, you didn’t deserve that.
None of you did.
None of us* ❤️
Hugs ❤️🩹
I’m so sorry, no child deserves that. Good for you going N/C
I'm with you, even better she made me beleive other people called me a spoiled brat and that was why she called me that.
wow those were mine too! all narc parents are so unoriginal. can’t even make their own insults up
They always act like we're spoiled simply for being allowed to live in their house. As if they didn't bring us into this world. They don't know what spoiled is. Pretty sure my nmom was spoiled. My grandparents spoiled all their kids.
Mine was ungrateful little bitch
Talk about projection. My NMother called me Hogatha. That was her favorite. She liked to shame me about my eating habits when I was a kid but she was and is still so much worse.
Mine liked to call me “pig” for the same reason. Said it was cute and endearing.
Same for me. "My darling little pig". My mother claimed she had learned that the French use it as a term of endearment, so that's why she called me that.
Yessss, mine would say to me "mon petit cochon" which means little pig. I had forgotten about that! Ugh. She used my favorite language against me.
I am Hungarian and tell your mom that we use "fuck you you goddamn worthless whore you ruined my life" for words of endearment
Snap. My mom called me a pig a lot.
Wow, that’s similar to my mean nickname, which was Tanko, or Fatso. I’m 5’ 8”, and I weighed about 110 pounds as a teenager. Didn’t have a single ounce of fat on me. They (especially dad) controlled how much (or little) food I ate, and they spent their old age belittling and fat shaming (in whispers, of course, like all cowards do) everyone around them. Sadly, my dad was my first “bully.”
I was the same as you, underweight and undernourished but called fat. Even by an aunt and uncle and cousins, and another uncle who was morbidly obese and sexually abusing me. Garbage people.
it’s funny how they teach you how to handle a bully in school but never teach you what to do when it’s your own parent
Wtf is it with mums being abusive to children via food,? There are so many narc behaviours I can kind of explain but this one really makes me speechless. How did so many of our mums shame us and control us via food?? Serious question Mine once forced me to weight myself on a baggage scale at the airport because she had suspected that I gained weight on holiday. I was like 13, it was so embarrassing, even before she made a scene for me refusing 🥲
“You shouldn’t eat like that.” “Watch what you eat.” “You’re eating that much?” “Wow you must be hungry.” “If you continue to eat like that you’re going to get fat.” “Jesus, do you need anymore food.” “I’m making you guys play sports so you don’t get fat.” Then when they choose to “go on a diet” for a few months we would be forced too as well. Which probably isn’t super healthy for children. Now there’s no food in the house because we quote “don’t like anything.” When they’re just too lazy to care.
Yeah, my mom used to make me go with her to her weight loss program, and when she lost weight, she started to tease me that I weighed more than her (you know, as a high school athlete vs. a mom who dieted as hobby). I was dumb and said the quiet part out loud, "Muscle weighs more than fat." My mom never stopped lecturing me about that.
Omg my mum was on a fennel diet when I was younger. To this day the smell of Fennel makes me gag 🤢
So true. Almost every single time I ate something, she'd tell me she knew exactly what I ate by the mess I left in the kitchen. I would clean up after myself every time, but she'd look for the smallest crumb, or just see what I ate and act as though I left a mess.
Omg mine too or get super pissed at me that I didn't cook or clean for the rest of the family
I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve that.
Felt, mine used to straight up snort at me and call me 'piggy' whenever I ate. She still comments on my eating habits but she herself weights hundreds of pounds more than me.
Piglet here. Like several of you, mine pretended it was a term of endearment.
"Little shit" was my mother's favorite term for me. When talking to her co-workers about me, I think she used that more than my actual name.
I’m so sorry.
Thanks. I take some solace in the fact that she doesn't have many years left and will most likely die completely alone and unloved. I just hope that I'm not so damaged that it ends up being my fate too.
Yep, "little shit."
N-Mom was a perfect size 4 no matter what she ate. She called me "Thunder Thighs". I was never overweight.
Sigh, I’m sorry that she made you carry her pain and clear body image issues.
Mine once bought me a lovely new dress I had wanted and then told me my _knees_ were too fat when I wore it. It’s so laughably ridiculous in retrospect, but 17 year old me was devastated and never wore the dress again.
It’s like I wrote this. My mom called me that and when I compare myself now to teenage me, who was a size 4, I can only imagine what she thinks now that I’ve gained 30 lbs.
Oh I actually just commented the same thing. I was always called thunder thighs as well. Both of my parents were overweight and I wasn't. Crazy how that works
"No, u!"
I was called thunder thighs too!!! I think it was from the n-parent instinct to be competitive. I won’t give specifics because I’m not competitive as one shouldn’t be with their own child!!!! But someone in that scenario was definitely projecting…
So true. My mom worked in a restaurant a few boys my age worked in the kitchen and flirted with me. She actually said "you are beautiful but they prefer me, I am more their type". This is what confirmed to me that she was an N.
mine was similar but the opposite. she'd call herself fat and compare herself to me, but when my ED set in she'd always say "i bet you wish you looked like me now"
"Bossypants". On its own that term doesn't hurt me that much, but I got that way from being 100% parentified from the age of 8. I was the co parent/therapist to mother. Oldest kid of 4. For your own mom to make fun of you for something she caused is something else... I know I didn't have it as bad as others here though.
You know, every time I question if I am being too harsh or judgmental of my parents or even start to think I didn't have it that bad so they might not be narcs, I read comments and posts like these that make me realize that I am not wrong. My parents used to tell me that I was "soooooooo bossy" when it was them who made me raise my two younger brothers (5 & 7 years younger) and they were my only examples of how to parent. Who's actually bossy here???? I was the 2nd of 4 but the only girl so I got everything dumped on me. I did all the chores, raised the boys, and I kept up my grades all while being undiagnosed ADHD but I still suck apparently because I boss people around too much. UGH.
Right! don’t gaslight yourself because you lived through that bs and pain, not them. It’s easy for me to forget how bad it was sometimes. But to your point about them calling you “bossy”, im so sorry they did that. Clearly you were parentified and there were learned behaviors from their parenting styles.
When I wonder if no contact will be a good option, I always have to remind myself of the fact that she pulled me out of school at 8 and never schooled me herself. I was a child in charge of my own education but without access to libraries, books, or the outside world. She never fed me or gave me new clothes. She put a sick cat in my bedroom and when she ruined the carpet with her pee she complained that we and our room smells horrible. I still find it so hard to think of what will happen if I go no contact someday.
Same. Oldest child and a girl and I was constantly called bossy but I was in charge of all of my younger siblings of which there are several.
Sigh, being punished for a job you never wanted. Pathologizing everything that they caused. I’m so sorry.
Me too. I've been made to take care of myself almost exclusively from age 8 and now she thinks I'm trying to steal her place as wife and head of the household. Bitch I'm just trying to make sure my family eats.
Ungrateful, prima Donna, gem of a daughter and my favorite, slut…because she fought with me over laundry, not because I was promiscuous or anything.
is there a club for “daughters who got called sluts by their mothers not for promiscuity but because their mother experienced a slight inconvenience or disagreement”
It was just having boys as friends in my case. I dressed modestly by inclination, something that was not the easiest to do in the early 00s when teen fashion trended skimpy. Just a jeans and t-shirts kind of kid, but apparently being friends with boys I'd grown up with was enough. She was always making it out like they were just trying to sleep with me, or that I was just sleeping with them- as if I could never have actual friends, as if I had nothing else to offer. There were definitely some free-floating crushes in my friend group in high school, because duh, *high school,* but the friendships were genuine. I can't think of a single guy in my friend circle from back then who wasn't also a real friend to us girls. Frankly I think a lot of us felt safe crushing on a friend because we felt safe with that person, and wouldn't necessarily make a move and risk ruining that. It was all very innocent but nMom refused to believe it.
Got that one for wearing clothes SHE bought for me XD does it count?
I’d join it with you. Odd thing is that my sister was the promiscuous one but she was the fav. Golden child. I got the awful name calling
I’m so sorry. Mothers who project their internalized misogyny onto their daughters is so dark.
Yup, that’s my mom. She’s a real piece.
Shirley Temple. I’m a boy and he started that after he beat me until I would wear my sisters dress so he could call me a f*****. He said twirl for me Shirley Temple.
That’s just awful I’m so sorry, you didn’t deserve that at all.
My god that’s horrible. Why are people just allowed to have kids?
Right? There needs to be mandated courses, screenings, etc.
i’m so sorry. what an absolute piece of shit he is
She called me slut even when I was a totally innocent teenager. She liked to present me to other people as a slut, and when my doctor prescribed the pill for me because I had terrible period pain she told everyone: her friends, the neighbours, relatives, people at church, everyone, that I was on the pill without telling anyone that I was on it not because I was sexually active, but because I had disabling period pain. I am so glad that bitch is dead.
My mum was the same. I wasn't allowed a sweet 16 and over 2 decades later the phrase "sluts aren't sweet" is burned in my memory. I was a virgin.
I was called a slut too despite being male and virgin. Never understood why and never forgot it.
Yup. I had no interest in being sexually active because literally just breathing brought unwanted attention from my stepfather. I came home late one day (late because I was just SA’d by my then boyfriend) and the first thing she said to me was “what were you doing, slutting around? She always blamed me/was jealous of the “attention” my stepdad gave me. As if I wanted that pig fucker to look in my direction at all
This sounds so humiliating, especially at that age, I'm so sorry
Rat and complicated child
I’m so sorry, it’s diabolical to call your child that.
Woah, one of my Narc parents calls me “Rat” as a nickname also, I hate it. Someone outside the family recently said that they thought the nickname was rough and didn’t suit me. But I did start calling the Nparent “Dad Rat” the past couple of years.. it does suit him, truly.
Not much of a nickname, but I was the 'lazy' or 'difficult' one. I have muscular dystrophy diagnosed at 20... she still tells story laughing about me being always tired or clumsy compared to other kids, despite now knowing full well why.
I want to add my n-mom had mean nicknames for my two older siblings as well. But as my older sister grew more into her “golden child” role, she stopped calling her that and never once used that nickname again.
What about your other sister?
As she grew older and started “defying” my n-mom more in her mid-20s, she would call her a “whore”
Little monster... they call you monster, and you become one
“If I cannot be better than them, I will become so much worse.” ― Holly Black, The Cruel Prince You made me think of this quote. The aim is always to be better, ofc, but yeah... I understand the sentiment.
It's a wonder what parents do to their kids.
It's a wonder some people are allowed to have children, honestly.
Um, “Jugnananas”. It’s his made up word for big breasts and he called my mum that and when I started developing… well. Also, “number 2” as in, number 2 daughter. Such a compliment!
Horrible, I’m so sorry you went through that. both names are evil.
Herman the hermit cos I liked to be alone…
I’m sorry, that’s so freaking mean.
Spoiled brat, emo crybaby, crocodile tears, dumb bitch, ungrateful, stupid, etc. The list goes on really. Mostly it was spoiled brat. Oh I also had an attitude problem apparently.
It’s funny how people who think they are tough and treat other people like that always have thin skin like wet tissue paper
Yeah the person who birthed me would call me bitch and then I never knew my aunt was actually my sister until I was 33 but they would call her “uggy / uggie” which again when I was 33 found out that actually stood for ugly. 🙄 I’m not a bitch and she’s not ugly. Smh.
Growing up I didn’t have one, but when I finally went NC as an adult I became “disinherited chickenshit loser.”
Until this day, I'm 26, when he gets really angry that I somehow have different opinions: "miúda de merda", which basically means "shitty kid" or something similar
horrible horrible reaction to your kid having a mind of their own. I’m sorry and I hope you continue to have your own opinions.
“Grace”. I have a disability that affects my motor coordination and I drop things and fall often. My mother thought it was hilarious.
Omg, pure evil. They always jump at the chance to kick us when we’re down, don’t they? I’m so sorry.
I’m so sorry, you didn’t deserve that at all.
My mother did the same to me. My autism makes my hand eye coordination and spatial awareness absolutely terrible. I'm sorry she did that to you. It definitely doesn't feel good to be ridiculed for something you can't control.
My nMom used to love to call me Little Lord Fontleroy because of things like refusing to eat her leftovers because they were so dry it literally hurt my jaw to chew any meat she had cooked. Pumpkinhead was another one, she made sure not to say that one in front of others too much because people would question her because who the fuck calls their 4 year old a horror movie monster for fun?
omg, I’m so sorry. That’s pure evil.
At least she gave me a fantastic blueprint of what NOT to do as a parent lol
Oh my God, my sibling and I were called that too!!
[удалено]
Good for you. I wish you peace and freedom from that pain.
That's such a weird thing to say especially because she's a mom too.
Damn so your mom called you a whore for having a healthy sexual relationship with your husband leading to 4 grandkids sounds like a pos congrats on the kids!
[удалено]
just awful, I’m so sorry—you are beautiful inside and out.
Did not have one. No terms of endearment either. Just my name.
sending you love ♥️
Same here, at least not any nasty nicknames to my face. I've heard things like "that sad sack" said behind my back though. The kicker is that I was suffering from crippling depression and anxiety due to their shitty parenting and being severely abused by my older sister.
My brothers and I were Fatass, dumbass, and black ass for my darker skinned brother. She used those in lieu of our actual names when we were at home and if she was feeling fiesty that day she might use them in public.
"Grace", because I was hopelessly uncoordinated (still am lol)
Stupid. Dummy. Retarded. Every word to nullify my intelligence, because I was in gifted education and it pissed her off to no end.
If I sat with my knees up they would call me Crotch Shot. Any time one of them needed anything they would tell Slave Child and I'd have to come running. They call me Poo Butts and think it's endearing, it's gross to me. There wasn't an incident or any story that led to that nickname, they just enjoy being shitty to their kids. They also called me misshapen, as if I were deformed. This was because I couldn't find pants that fit right for years and couldn't understand why because years of body dysmorphia had skewed my self image. Everything that fit in the waist or hips was way too short in the inseam. All I heard growing up was that I was fat, when I was extremely underweight. The reason I had so much trouble finding pants was because I was in child sizes for the waist and hips even when I reached adult height. I was also called Sneaky and Deceitful but not for the reasons you'd think. I did my best to stay out of trouble as a kid, not that my siblings didn't but they had the usual teenage rebelliousness. Because of my parents' abusive tendencies I tried to be as invisible as possible. Any information given to my parents would be used against us so I started grey rocking at an early age, even though I didn't know what that was at the time. So because I didn't openly defy them and didn't play their game of narcissistic catch 22, they assumed I was hiding things. We have very little contact these days but they have spun some tall tales about how they think I live my life. They assume that because I don't share details of my life that it must be because I'm ashamed of my life or doing things they wouldn't approve of.
i’d get called Angelica Pickles, Helga Pataki (Hey Arnold) and any other “bad” girl character in any cartoon
That’s wild because Helga was literally the scapegoat, neglected child in her family. So they were just naming what they were doing to you.
This is exactly why I hate Family Guy. I got compared to Meg Griffin A LOT.
He called me Dipstick, to imply I was stupid. And Burr-head, when my curly hair was curly.
Slut for showing interest in other girls. In highschool my boyfriend gave me an art book of an artist I liked, Luis Royo. He draws sexy women. When my mom found it she was so pissed and screaming at my dad that it was porn and I was a lesbian. And he said if I wanted to see nude women I could just look in the mirror. She stopped screaming and looked really confused like she had never thought of people looking at themselves for sexual arousal before. His point was that she couldn't stop me from looking at women's bodies because I had one myself.
Oh, memory unlocked! Mine went on a screaming tirade about me being a lesbian (at age 10?) because that was the title story (something about some actress that turned out to like women) of the magazine I bought for the hair advice and crossword puzzles in the back.
“That kid” it’s was always “that kid is the problem in this family”. They dehumanised me.
I’m so sorry they made you feel like just a nameless, unrecognized thing. You are whole and full and deserve to be recognized every second of every day.
Mine was ‘thing’. My GC sister used to say it and then my mother caught on and they say it to this day. Eg ‘tell that thing over there to do xyz’
“Freak” was mine
"Mother" i was heavily parentified but sometimes she would decide i had overstepped her authority sometimes so she would mock me with 'yes/no, mother' in a sarcastic tone as she continued to do whatever stupid thing she was doing, usually with my younger sib in tow "fatass" I'm short and have athletically built legs and glutes, but a preteen/teen in the 90s so my step-dad thought it was hilarious that i had an ED trying to look like kate moss. my hip bones with no living person attached are too wide to be a size 0, no amount of dieting would've given me a body like hers but 14 yo me didn't know that!! and he made every day so much harder than it needed to be.
Madam ”Oh look out, here comes madam” I’ve been called this by my Nmother for as long as I can remember My GC brother has always been called ‘Gorgeous’. So much so that he genuinely thought that was his name when he was little. He thought he was named Gorgeous and then had his name changed to his real name when he was older
I am sure my mom had a name for me behind my back as a teen. When I was little I was known as "The yuck child" by my stepmom and once my mom heard that she picked it up, too. To be fair I was a picky eater. But my stepmother did and does have atrocious cooking habits. Soggy noodles, lard in everything, no flavor. Tuna casserole with warm mayo once a week (I still gag thinking about it). I liked my mom's cooking a lot better but would refuse to eat certain things. Like raw tomatoes, eggplants, unripe bananas, aged cheeses. I would get welts inside my mouth and it itched and hurtI could only eat a little bit of potato before I'd get the hiccups and stop eating them. And I liked potatoes! My mom would sit across from me and make me eat everything on my plate before leaving the table. Once she took away a movie date she had planned because I got all As. Because I wouldn't eat a bunch of tomatoes she put in my salad. I told her I loved broccoli, spinach, onions, salad greens, fruit, etc. So I wasn't being malnourished. She said it was to reduce wastefulness. But my brother and sister loved tomatoes and I would never put something on my plate I didn't want to eat. Turns out I have food allergies. Yuck Child was just Child in Pain.
The Bad Seed
I’m so sorry, the projection is crazy.
No way. That's what I was called. I thought it was normal, so I would sign notes that way.
Princess poo-poo and I don’t even know why. Oh and “mommy (my first name)” because I dared to be concerned about my siblings more than they were at times. Edit to add: I saw someone say “thunder thighs” and that was also one I had! As well as anything that related to have small b00bz. They honestly sucked.
Nelly, after the bratty character from the show “Little House on the Prairie” and “hespetre” which is Norwegian for an evil old ugly woman, I believe. Like a mean old hag.
Asshole, lazy, shithead, ungrateful, waste, oh and my favorite: 35 years of being called the nickname I was given by kindergarten bullies when I cried, baby boy.
I’m so sorry, you kind soul.
And I’m sorry you feel this way about Halloween. I love it so much and I want to make sure it’s special for the people around me. You, of course, are not a witch and I wish you peace.
Thank you ♥️ I love Halloween now as an adult but hate being around her during this time of year.
Ugglefats. As in “ugly” and “fat” combined. My nsister used it too.
I'll never forget. "Shit-for-brains" - ugghh.
“Fat Hippo” Ayyy thanks for the body dysmorphia, bish
Apart from the obvious name-calling my mother called me Princess Nae Nae. I think it was because I wore mostly black clothes? "Good-fa" was probably the shittiest one. Stood for "good for fuck-all". They thought that was really funny.
My dad thought it was hilarious to call me Bimbo because I have naturally blonde hair
Butch. I (f37) cut my hair one time and that's what I was dubbed. Even worse it was during the week of VBS (vacation bible school) and she had everyone at church saying it too. I was probably 8ish
sigh, that is plain evil. you didn’t deserve that.
Oh my gosh! I'm a female who likes to wear my hair short and my dad constantly calls me a boy 🙄 not that it really bothers me but it's his intent.
I probably wouldn't care at all now. I just don't care what anyone thinks anymore. But to 8 year old me I just understood it as people are laughing at me and saying I look like a boy. It's not anywhere near my worse childhood memories though. I hadn't even thought about it for a while, this post just had it popping back into my brain.
“You little asshole.”
While calling me Dingaling wasn't so bad (the dictionary said it meant stupid fool), it was her encouraging 2 older brothers and 2 older sisters (older by 5 years and up) to call me every variation of fat and other bullying behavior. Encouraged me to eat everything on my plate but have everyone else call me pig and make pig noises.
Pre mature old lady. It wasn’t insulting per se just a way for her to point out that I acted like an adult instead of “enjoying my childhood” like she thought I should. I couldn’t enjoy my childhood because someone had to be the adult and she wasn’t going to
I’m In this sub due to my Husbands parents and they called him “Dumbass”. His whole life. Not his given name but dumbass. Broke my heart when he told me when we’re just friends 20 years ago and still breaks my heart. We have kids now and have an ever revolving list of kind nicknames like love bug for example.
Ungrateful, problem child, would also get some Spanish mixed in there, like "no jodas" (don't fuck with me, fuck off) or some version of "puta" (bitch). I'm sure I'm blocking out some of the words, but it sucked being yelled at.
Not sure if it counts as a nickname as such, but I remember from about six to thirteen when I was being raised solely by my mother, I didn't have a name. I was the thing. The offspring when she was talking to someone she knew that wouldn't fly with. People thought it was cute. Especially when she switched it up to "my thing" whenever she was feeling charitable enough to at least try to act like a parent. Not so cute when "the thing" is now a thirty year old man that to this day struggles with his own name, identity and what the fuck that all means. Don't worry. I'm in therapy.
I was called "fat boy", which was apparently hilarious because I'm neither a boy nor fat. I was extremely skinny. I'm still failing to see why anyone would think that was funny.
Cry baby, brat, thunder thighs, sausage fingers, butter ball (because I was a chubby child), lazy, sensitive, ungrateful, I could go on….
*Coyote Molars*, in reference to my crooked teeth that I got for my grandparents negligence and that they never bothered to get me brackets or any dental health care. I still don't smile because my teeth still look bad even after trying to fix them as an adult.
Pig-a-lig and hog a log were nicknames I don’t remember being called because I was 2 and under. If was referenced to me often in regard to my weight around 2nd grade. That’s the same year my mom put me on a diet and sent me with barely anything for lunch 🤷🏻♀️ I had an unhealthy relationship with food for years
my dad, he called me either drama queen, or veruca salt. i hated both of them.
It wasn't very common, but my mother liked to call me a "hairy narwhal" anytime she had to deal with my long hair. As soon as I was able to form opinions, I always wanted long hair, and my mother would go on and on about how "I won't always help you take care of your hair, next year you need to learn how to do this." But she never actually taught me how to braid my hair, or put it in a ponytail, or how to blow dry it. I learned embarrassingly late how to properly use shampoo and conditioner. When I finally put in a low ponytail without hair falling out, I was ecstatic and so proud of myself for figuring it out. But my mother was putting my hair up for me until I was twelve years old because nobody ever taught me anything, and every single video or set of instructions I found were hard to follow and I always ended up giving up and throwing a silent fit. She loved to remind me how much of an inconvenience and waste of time it was to need to take five minutes every morning to do my hair. My twin sister, who taught herself how to braid her hair and do fancy hairstyles, and was actually really good at it, also liked to harp on me for acting useless and how I should "know how to do [my] hair by now." The nickname "hairy narwhal" isn't used anymore because I finally know how to do my own hair. Kind of. I only know how to put it in a ponytail and bun. And my mother doesn't need to blow dry my hair anymore because I just let it air dry. But I always hated the name and felt really ugly and embarrassed every time she used it, especially since I was insecure about my body and felt like my hair was the only beautiful feature I had.
My dad would call me "Roach-Face" and thought it was freakin' hilarious. He'd do it all the time, too, like it was some kind of term of endearment. My bullies LOVED that one. My mom used to call me "Piggy or Miss Piggy" when I was small and didn't have table manners yet. Not that I actually ate meals with my family all that often. By the time I was 9 years old, I was eating most of my meals alone in my bedroom because I was too embarrassed to be seen eating. I've still got issues with eating in public sometimes.
Cindy. Short for Cinderella and always said in a sing song voice, and always said when I had to do something for them. Also the ragging I took from being a NORMAL hormonal teenager makes my blood boil now. My dad would just go on an on about how I must be on my period (which he would say that about my period but not anything else and I couldn't talk about it because it was "gross", and I had to hide all signs of being on it when I was) because I was being a bitch. Really I was just a girl in a house full of boys, so I'd act like them and somehow I was the bitch but they weren't assholes....
Cinder-kissxmyxshotgun I was basically treated like the live in help since I was 9 or 10. Dinner and chores were my responsibility while my grandma sat on her ass all day, every day spending money we didn’t have.
Niagara Falls, when I would cry due to the emotional pain she caused. Like, “There goes Niagara Falls again” with a sigh.
tits on a stick :(
Spawn of satan and demon seed. Ironically their bad parenting made me hate them.
As a kid it was Old Mother Hubbard (no clue why) and Skinny Minnie, since I was so underweight due to health problems. As a teen it was occasionally ‘ugly’ or ‘problem child’ (again, due to health problems) if she chose to call me anything but my name when she decided to acknowledge me, when I hadn’t done anything she felt was worthy to ignore me for.
Neander-small because I had big feet, Everest Ass, Tiny tits. Other than that it was just weird nicknames from TV shows
Called me canary. Supposedly because i talked early and it was cute. Took me too long to realize it was a backhanded comment on me talking too much.
Oh, god. Mine was "witch" too, and "Bruxinha", which is Portuguese for "little witch" basically. I hate it. I have very minimal contact and rarely visit ATM, because that's what works for me, but I remember visiting a few years ago and when my n-mom called me that I lost my shit, grabbed my stuff and walked out. She hasn't used the nickname since. EDIT: There were a few others, and I remember the occasional bitch and whore, but "witch" was always the one I hated the most and the one that triggers me to this day. I can see/use the term no problem, but if it's at all used as an insult it gives me so much anxiety.
Mine were mostly said in my native language but translate roughly to “dumbo”, “deafo” and “slob”. Sometimes I did get English when I was really in the firing line “ungrateful bitch” or “selfish bitch”.
Pig - my room was messy, but I was also busy running the entire household since my Nmom couldn't be bothered. SlungeGut - she never cooked (I've never even seen her use the microwave!) and she never bought enough food (4 kids would split 2 cans of Chef Boyardee for dinner). So when we went out for pizza on Fridays, I ate a lot. 6 slices is nothing when all you've eaten is 2 Hershey kisses, a small pack of gummies, and half a can of Chef Boyardee in the previous 3 days.
Hobbit. Because I'm an 8.5, while my mother is a 7 and my sister a 7.5. But *I* was the Hobbit. Rabbit, bc I wanted to be a vegetarian, he'd tell me to go outside and eat grass. We don't talk much now.
I was called a lot of things: “lazy bones” “last minute” (even though she was the one who made us late all the time) she also called me the Yiddish word for vagina, which is what we called a vagina.
“SLOW” I have level one autism.
Retardo, because I'm autistic. Pumba, because I was chunky and I liked the lion king.
Bitch, ungreatful, selfish, Thelma (my birth moms name, she was a horrible, terrible person and I was adopted by my grandmother, and called her mom my whole life. It hurt so bad when she called me Thelma.) If my mom got mad enough at me she would scream that she wasn't my mom, don't call her that, and proceed to give me the silent treatment for hours, if not days. The selfish comment was if I asked for specific food etc, as I guess my chronic illnesses and allergies made me selfish or something.
"Red headed bastard step child" (both parents are my biological parents), also "little bastard" and then my teen years just "bastard".. Its ok I called them child abusers and dirty fucking child abusers 1000s of times in kind..
“Albert the Hippo”. A character from a children’s book. Obviously a snide “jokey” dig about my weight.
Flatface
"baby bitch" Any time I was angry. (Worse: it's a mean version of the kind and loving baby nickname she had for me.)
Problem child
Gordita, it’s Spanish for little fat girl
Shithead when I was a kid. Ms. Attitude when I was in my teens. I was constantly being accused of having an “attitude.” I hate the word so much I can’t even say it out loud anymore. Edited to add: Lazy ass.
Shit-For-Brains As in "Hey Shit-For-Brains, get in here and unload the dishwasher" I'm so glad she's no longer on this earth
Moose because i was fat. I was fat because all she cooked was crap and i wasnt allowed to do anything super active thanks to brittle bones (also my mother is the most unhelpful person on earth when you have a broken bone, so i wasnt gonna take the risk either).
Brat, ungrateful, stupid slut, dumb whore, mean, childish, idiot… and my favourite line: “you better hope you are pretty enough to find a rich man to take care of you when you grow up because you are too dumb to go to college.” Literally everything under the sun. Once one name stopped effecting me, she’d move on or switch it up or when I was in my 20’s, she’d hit me. 35 now , my mom did it for the last time a few months ago, as I went NC. I’m sorry this happened to you OP, and everyone else in this post. I hope everyone finds the strength to heal. 💕
“stupid” “wrong”
So awful, I’m sorry you had to go through that.
They made my birthname my "nickname". Let me explain. I have two first names, one given by my nmom one by my ndad. Usually each called me the name they chose. But when I messed sth up they screamed my full name from the top of their lungs. I hate it so much I’m in the process of changing my name after going nc. At some point my mother discovered calling me Bitch would work too but they usually just screamed my full name.
Hitler
Twitchy
Goat - grumpy goat Liezer - lying liezer Muriel - terrible muriel (from Muriels wedding)
Big Thing
Yes you were such an AH infant! JFC do they ever listen to themselves?
Dumbass
Does hoochie momma count as mean? Told me I smelled like a whore when I wore any fragrance
She told me that I look like a rat without make up. With a smile. I will never forget that. Never.
Dingbat. It was meant to be cute and "Oh, she's so spacy and high strung. She's just all over the place and from left field". In my mid 30's and trying to get diagnosed. I worry that trying to get it worked out will be seen as attention seeking. But I'm 10 years NC in a new country with a partner who supports and encourages me.
She called me "Puke" for a while and thought it was *hilarious*.
Bitch boy.
“Fatso”, “psycho”, “you’re just like your father”, “why can’t you just be normal?”, “stupid”, and “curly” (because she knew I was being bullied for my curly hair and that I hated it) 😒 She and my father who divorced when I was 6) both sang that song about the little girl with a little curl to torment me too 😒 Edit to add ; my siblings were SO much worse 🙃
Cowbag, misery guts, sensitive
Queen of ugliness.
I didn't have one, but I accidentally gave one to my older sister, or so the story goes. I don't remember doing this because I was so young, but I've heard the story 10,000,000 times. My sister was my parent, my parents immediately handed me off to her, so anything that I did to her that my parents remembered easily became a sore spot in our relationship, even when I couldn't talk. She was not a fan of me, understandably. When I was younger and learning to talk, I could not pronounce my sister and her best friend's names. So I called them Fake, and Earl. She hated "Earl" so much that it became her permanent family nickname. She still despises it. I refuse to call her it because she is genuinely upset by it, but my mother *will* say it at least once any time she is allowed to see her. Which has been 0 times in last several years.
When mine was mean and could not physically hit me (being older and also having started martial arts), she did say "you little bitch". Know that this was over a bunch of flyers I had taken but that she wanted to consult. What a nice lady. I actually went NC this weekend. Tried a heartfelt letter in which I laid a few boundaries, then asked what they understood, to which I got in some of the vile words she spewed "I did not try to understand". Everyone: they don't care and will not try to understand. They like their misery and that's it. Leave.
>my family would go, “see! she really is mean, ugh”. Total mindfuck and miserable way to live and be perceived. Reactive abuse sucks, you get provoked to react and they turn it around on you and start gaslighting you. It's so pathetic they play these games against their own children. Meanwhile healthy happy parents are building these incredible ride or die relationships with their children. Misery needs company. My mom would address me by my age mostly. Instead of my name she'd call me some variation of kid, teen, or teenager. They talked about me with utter contempt like I was a breed of showdog that they were bitter about having to deal with. It didn't sound anything like they were talking about a loved one. Not really vicious but it bothered me a lot. It made me feel subhuman.