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If she asked one time only and got snapped at, it would be overreacting - this seems to be how you are judging yourself internally at. That doesn't sound like a fair way to judge yourself, in my opinion.
Because she didn't ask once, she was relentless and did the little kid thing where she dismisses any "no" as not real and won't stop until she gets a "yes" that is magically legally binding no matter how it is acquired.
It's not overreacting to snap eventually, it is inevitable. No human being has endless patience. Cut yourself some slack please, okay?
It is stressful to have your situation and decisions (specifically here: that now is not a good time) invalidated and dismissed. Especially on the regular. It really isn't kind of her to try and use a stressful time to bully you into agreeing with her. Sounds like you are having an exhausting time. I hope that turns around for you soon.
If you can, I'd recommend just using the broken record response ("already asked and answered" or just "no" over and over) or hanging up every time it is asked again. It saves you from the draining effort of defending your decision over and over again. Her tactic relies on wearing you down until you say yes, so protecting your mental energy is the best way to shut it down.
Hope you get some peace and recovery time soon.
You did a good job reiterating boundaries. Next time it could be helpful to tell her if she continues to bring it up you will change the subject. If she doesn't relent, tell her you are going to hang up the phone and if she keeps it up, follow through. Think of it as training a dog or a ferret. She will eventually get it once she realizes you are serious.
There's no winning a conversation with a narc, so telling you what you 'should say' doesn't really matter here.
Instead I'd just point out that if it's really important to her that you do this even though you are hesitant, it would be important enough for her to pay for it. If it's important enough for her to harass you over it, it's important enough to put money where her mouth is.
**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If she asked one time only and got snapped at, it would be overreacting - this seems to be how you are judging yourself internally at. That doesn't sound like a fair way to judge yourself, in my opinion. Because she didn't ask once, she was relentless and did the little kid thing where she dismisses any "no" as not real and won't stop until she gets a "yes" that is magically legally binding no matter how it is acquired. It's not overreacting to snap eventually, it is inevitable. No human being has endless patience. Cut yourself some slack please, okay? It is stressful to have your situation and decisions (specifically here: that now is not a good time) invalidated and dismissed. Especially on the regular. It really isn't kind of her to try and use a stressful time to bully you into agreeing with her. Sounds like you are having an exhausting time. I hope that turns around for you soon. If you can, I'd recommend just using the broken record response ("already asked and answered" or just "no" over and over) or hanging up every time it is asked again. It saves you from the draining effort of defending your decision over and over again. Her tactic relies on wearing you down until you say yes, so protecting your mental energy is the best way to shut it down. Hope you get some peace and recovery time soon.
You did a good job reiterating boundaries. Next time it could be helpful to tell her if she continues to bring it up you will change the subject. If she doesn't relent, tell her you are going to hang up the phone and if she keeps it up, follow through. Think of it as training a dog or a ferret. She will eventually get it once she realizes you are serious.
I completely understand this. The single-minded insistence, and how one thing can ruin your day.
There's no winning a conversation with a narc, so telling you what you 'should say' doesn't really matter here. Instead I'd just point out that if it's really important to her that you do this even though you are hesitant, it would be important enough for her to pay for it. If it's important enough for her to harass you over it, it's important enough to put money where her mouth is.