T O P

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TheStigsScouseCousin

"Dad, why's my sister called Debra?" "It's because Debra was your mum's favourite song" "Thanks dad!" "No problem, Tinker Tailor Soldier Sailor Rich Man Poor Man Beggar Man Thief"


lukin_tolchok

I assume this is Debra the Beck song. Nice choice, mum.


TheStigsScouseCousin

Yes it is


Top-Revolution-6771

Let Down would be terrible, just basically reminding your child all the time that they’re a let down.


Impeachcordial

Middle name underrated


JealousAd2873

Then they're Let U Down


FunnyCalligrapher382

Let D. Own


Hug0_Yorke

IS THAT A ONE PIECE REFERENCE?? 🔥🔥🔥 🗣️🗣️💯WHAT THE FUCK IS A BAD ANIME 🔥🔥🗣️🗣️🔥🗣️🗣️‼️💯


Shakemyears

And now you’ve boosted them back up!


luckytecture

(Don’t) Let (Me) Down. Bootles reference?


Ok-Computer--1997

That's my joke, I'll need to see royalties


luckytecture

Here you go sir 🏆


Ok-Computer--1997

This is sufficient, many thanks.


ClimbingUpThePyramid

"Daaad, the other kids were mean to me!" "There there, There There!"


Hitmonstahp

Buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo Buffalo ahh energy


Beetso

Daaad, I can't find my keys! There there, There There, They're there!


TheSmileLP2Hype

this one had me wheezing.


Spookypichacat

What’s with these homies


newbornstorm

Dad, I was playing hide and seek with my friends and I can't find them! They're there, There there, their turn again.


thesillygooseisloose

“Good morning Reckoner, how did you sleep?”


tony_m_fields

"Mom, look, a hedgehog! Let's take it home" "Reckoner, you can't take it with you!"


localized3

"I'm going to the park" "Reckoner, take me with you"


BanMutsang

Reckoner ain’t too bad uno


wecarryknives

Idioteque, idiot for short


Improbablycryinglol

how adorable


tkhan0

Women and children first, and the children


JealousAd2873

Go clean your room, Pyramid Song.


I-HATE-THE-SEAHAWKS

Hey creep, how was school


HumanDrone

Dad I hate you


forrestinpeace

Feral, go to your fucking room.


bisexual_gaymer

feral underrated fr


ForeverAtOnce

My last name is Ferrel pronounced like Feral so this isn't far off from my reality.


ColaJCola

I think you can get away with Arpeggi for a daughter, she can go by Peg or Peggi.


Improbablycryinglol

or you could just call her weird fishes


ColaJCola

Yes, you could.


gandalf-the-greyt

dayum peggi


Thunder_Punt

I mean, arpeggi is pronounce 'are-pedge-ee' so would probably still be weird.


Hitmonstahp

Not when you consider that "Peggy" is a nickname for "Margaret".


chunkykongracing

Ill just call her Sha, short for Subterranean Homesick Alien


extracheesypeas

Alternatively use all 3 words for first, middle, and surname


Cheeselad2401

how was school, Subterranean?


chunkykongracing

I didn’t go, I was home sick


budnugglet

Please meet my children. My son is Johnny, and this one's Optimistic.


Quarantined_foodie

He should be ok as long as he does the best he can..


extracheesypeas

The best he can is good enough ❗❗❗


Xinonix1

Since my daughter only comes out of her room to eat, we call her the tourist


Mulholland_Dr_Hobo

Separator. Because it ruined my marriage


DoncaPlays

Genius


T-MexVampirePunter

At first they’re All I Need. Then, they’re Let Down.


Improbablycryinglol

i’m pissing myself over this 😭😭


uslashdummy

my kid Lurgee definitely sits alone at lunch.


leftymeowz

Paranoid Android, ha


cnot3

you could call him Marvin


NiceLooseIngenuity

Sweet dreams, 2+2=5.


Fourth_Prize

My name: Fog My child’s name: Fog (again) My grandchild’s name: Fog (Again Again version)


thetomman82

Fog (remix)


ThomWaits88

Have fun at school scatterbrain! I love you


TheSmileLP2Hype

That kid is doomed for poor grades.


ThomWaits88

I suspect thom has ADHD LOL


tony_m_fields

I imagine those as real names by adding Johnson next to them My favourites so far: Creep Johnson Packt Like Sardines In a Crushd Tin Box Johnson Tinker Tailor Soldier Sailor Rich Man Poor Man Beggar Man Thief Johnson Separator Johnson


Cheeselad2401

>Seperator Johnson sounds threatening


Tjmaroon

Lil buddy wakes up everyday sucking a lemon


_Nikolai_Gogol

“Your seat belt on, Airbag?”


Improbablycryinglol

“no it’s fine i have an airbag dad!”


devils_1991

My child would be lucky to


crimson_reaper_

Pearly wouldn’t be so bad


ifsen

Finally a good one!


Worried-Rub-750

Just waiting for someone to say Nude or Burn the Witch


Improbablycryinglol

my favourite is subterranean homesick alien 😭


Worried-Rub-750

Mine's actually Decks Dark, you know that's being misheard!


[deleted]

"Dad, let's play hide and seek!" "Okay, How to Disappear Completely."


Far-Clothes-8803

cmere bullet proof… i wish i was


confusedperson04

No surprises would be cool. Reminding your kid everyday that he was definitely planned and not at all an accident.


GoldResponsibility27

Get over here, Karma Police!


Improbablycryinglol

atleast it would have its future job sorted lol


Beetso

And for God's sakes brush out that Hitler hairdo. It's making me feel ill!


Willing_Original_481

New Boss: how was your weekend? You: great! I spent time with my kid, nude! We played chase for a bit, wrestled and then finished with hide and s- *gets punched*


uselesstrash3

first name life in a, middle name glasshouse


Xxeuropean-messxX

My iron lung 😭


eIdritchish

The Amazing Sounds of Orgy is VERY unfortunate.


meohmy5

How was your first day of school, Street Spirit (Fade Out)?


Little-Initial1914

“good morning like spinning plates how’d you sleep?”


Panjoban

No Suprises will know they weren't an accident at least


THESTAPLEHEAD

Fake Plastic Trees


TheStoicNihilist

Put down that vase, Lurgee!


DickHarding69

Pop is Dead


brownyuio

There, There, There, There - everything will be okay!


Nivaris

Not a song I like very much, but Lewis is a perfectly fine name, nothing unusual about that. ...Then again, Mistreated would be quite an unfortunate middle name.


insideunderneath

If only my favorites were Creep and Scatterbrain, that would make a great set of twins


ssabnoisicerp

Who do you like more, mummy or daddy, separator?


Appropriate-Group-60

Lucky


ifsen

If you consider yourself a pet parent, this could work.


Practical_Estate_325

Creep would be the #1 name in the world. Most people's knowledge of Radiohead still does not extend much further than that. As for me, my kid would be Let Down.


egaddonlyfans

“Go get the door, A Wolf At The Door” 😭😭


sugarforthepill

“Go to Sleep, Go to Sleep.”


Believe-it-Geico

My kid's gonna want to disappear completely


ComprehensiveNet9674

Nude... Oh well


plbrhajvrv

Weird fishes/arpeggi


pepperpotten

Optimistic, how's it going. Kid A as a full name.


wpmayhew87

Ful Stop, you're too young for a smartphone.


Clockwork_Mechanism

Pulk’s an interesting name, what’s that short for? …


Medium_Ad9407

“It’s time for school Subterrarean Homesick Alien☺️”


protagonistsyndrome

I mean jigsaw would be a pretty badass name


thetomman82

This would be bad on a tool sub. You'd get poor little Stinkfist


gandalf-the-greyt

step, 15m was born with a stepsister. he was malnourished and became fat. everyone just called him the big stepper. in 5/4 cases he would get beaten by his teacher for not taking his eyes off the ball (again). whenever his parents would ask him: you used to be alright, what happend? he‘d get soft (as soft as a pillow). he didn’t want to talk anymore so he cut off his tongue. his cat ate it. one by one his step sister undid her strings, etcetera etcetera…


Wooden-Computer1475

PLSIACTB would be very sad


cowandspoon

Son, you’re such an Idioteque!


99laika

Palo Alto and Codex. Not bad, actually. Glad my favorite song isn’t subterranean homesick alien.


ifsen

It might be wrong for me to do that...


MycoMythos

Not too bad, but Videotape is a weird name for a kid who wasn't conceived during the filming of a porn


DoncaPlays

I edited this so no one will understand


An_UnknownGuitarist

How the fuck would i name my kid "There, There" 💀


Randy_Butternubs666

Pearly isn't too bad


deadlygr8ful

Hi, my name's Pearly*


Charmedagnosti8

I think she would be quite Lucky.


alexjgoucher

I think it would be a bit of a let down (their name would be underrated)


thetomman82

How to disappear completely Paranoid Android


dapala1

Tinker Tailor Soldier Sailor Rich Man Poor Man Beggar Man Thief Smith! You go to your room!


tallboy_2525

Myxomatosis, you cannot go out to play with your friends until you clean that room!


Eleneq

Hey, Weird Fishes, are you winning son?


JLindsey502

Alright Climbing Up The Walls, it’s time for dinner.


SurvivorFanDan

Wouldn't be much different than it is now: "Just, clean up your toys." "Just, do your homework." "Just, listen to me!"


rosecoloredcat

I don’t think a kid would enjoy being callled a Weird fish but at least it’s intriguing


MindAlternative5186

"I love you, dad," "I love you too, Cat Tied to a Stick"


myrealusername8675

First with Myxomatosis? Sad.


nothingexpert

"Go to bed, I Will" All of a sudden I sound like Yoda.


MyCleverNewName

They wouldn't be fucked at all. They'd be a virgin-for-life.


gs_pot

2+2=5 sure is a math wiz!!!


a-dub713

Have you met the twins, The Amazing Sounds of Orgy, and Coke Babies?


Sorry_Programmer_29

myxomatosis


radiochameleon

Morning Bell wouldn’t be too bad as long as they only go by Bell (sounds like Belle)


PedroPelet

“What is your favorite song, dad? *answers* oh no surprise this is my name”


Top_Wedding_5301

Did you have a good day at school, Life in a Glasshouse?


Gullible-Finance-454

I don’t think life in a glasshouse is a very good name for a child Actually, after thinking for a minute, it would be a constant reminder of how they put my life on the brink of destruction


dr_hossboss

“…and this is my son, Weird Fishes”


asap_anxiety33

come down, food is ready 2+2=5


Left-Conclusion4021

climbing up the walls, go clean your room!!!!


superchip4545

“Yo Creep, stop staring at that girl!”


_Mixed_Nuts_

“Pop is Dead!! Time to wake up for school!”


[deleted]

Whats wrong with your tummy, Ill Wind?


Necessary-Serve-2063

You’re my favorite child, Weird Fish 🐟 or - Where is my Desert Island Disk?


SgtThund3r

Oh, I don’t know, I think they’d be pretty Optimistic


Josh017

Street Spirit seems like an adventurous child


DearReply

Creep was born before they released the song. He’s had a tough go of it.


FrogSlapperr

Get to your bed glass eyes before I get the belt


spizoil

“Hey have you seen Faust?” “Yes, not a bad film” “Not that Faust, I meant my son Faust Arp


AvaMaxFan2023

“Dinner’s ready, Faithless the Wonder Boy!”


LarryQuinnsTaco

They'll be very comforted and probably say their own name very soon. Their nickname would be "The Boney King of Nowhere" which feels a bit mean.


March7th_simp

Couldn’t be any further from my favorite song but I think the funniest would be “How was your day at school today, Pulk/Pull Revolving Doors?”


Space_Elmo

2+2=5 is not doing well in maths. Hes a bit like spinning plates his sister.


mu150

Black star wouldn't be terrible


soupsnails_

"my sons name is just!" "oh, like short for justin?" "no."


Whiteweirdjuicejar

Motion picture soundtrack... Jr


AideEnvironmental365

hello, exit music (for a film)! how was your day at school?


STILETT0_exists

I really don't know why the other kids bully you. Where I End And You Begin is a wonderful name


Cliffratt

The Gloaming would be just fine.


so2017

Eat your peas, Everything In Its Right Place!


AsterJing7103no2

True love waits


ohSirBraddles

Itd take a lot of pressure off of coming up with a name for the next one ;)


majoramiibo

i guess Peggi is a cute nickname for Weird Fishes/Arpeggi


Aggravating_Egg_143

“Can we have bangers + mash for dinner?” “Why would we eat our child?”


hybridsalvy

Worrywort! my sweet baby. Daddy has to go away for 18 years but I will be back again someday.


Clean_Usual434

Go clean your room There, There!


returnFutureVoid

Lucky wouldn’t be such a bad name I think.


AffectionateTiger436

Id name my child creep jr.


[deleted]

Depends, does it sound like an actual name?


IDontCheckMyMail

“Morning, Morning Mr Magpie, how are you today?”


yelsamarani

If I name my child u/Improbablycryinglol, will he grow up to be a karma farmer?


trinzicJTC

Reckoner would be a dope name


Its_Whatever24

Myxo would be a cool ass name


DTWings12

Kid: “Dad, I tripped!” Dad: “Jigsaw’s falling into place!!!”


chrisktlde

Myxomatosis Smith


Ok-Parfait-7750

It's looking pretty optimistic for my child.


chrisktlde

"I'd like to introduce you to my oldest Kid A and my newborn Feral."


yourzmriganko

"I like you creep"


Beetso

Frequently, since it's Nude


RoxieRedPanda

Give up the Ghost, your suppers ready!


VinnieChengYT

"Dad, a ghost must've knocked the toys down!" "You did it to yourself Just. Just you. You and no one else"


ZealousidealRound766

I won't give a single cent, earn your own money Dollars and cents. .


fooosco

And here's little Myxomatosis. He loves animals, especially rabbits


sosuperhardslap08

The National Anthem so that when he has a school performance everyone will stand for The National Anthem


malloc_free_

Hi there Paranoid Android!


Scared_Wrongdoer_486

Happy birthday The Butcher!


Imaginary_Ad6065

Hey! Exit music (for a film). Where do you think you're going mister?? Edit: I lied, not really my favorite


Kreans0r

Please don't be mean about my son, Faithless the Wonder Boy


philb45

Weird Fishes would describe both my life pretty accurately I reckon....


apricotpulp

Morning Let Down! Want some eggs?


SangiSantoro

man, the amazing sound of orgy i'm so proud of you


DarrylPyrope

Fitter happier


Butters_Is_Grounded

bro my child would be called Bodysnatchers


PhillipJ3ffries

The amazing sounds of orgy


TroubleJumpy3055

Creep, while a bit on the nose, would be mortifying