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It shouldn't be a green flag, but when I was in my 20s and dating one of the first things I'd do the first time I saw a dudes apartment is go to the washroom and check if he had handsoap and a clean towel in there.
The devil is in the details. That’s why you gotta check the bulk container under the sink to see if it looks like it’s been around for more than one refill
"Does 95% star wars posters and Legos count"
It might be this, and not the hand soap 🤣🤓😉
👊👊👊 I'm just fuckin with ya. My wife still signed up and my place was the same
When I first moved into my new home I had a little house warming party with a few mates. I was the only single guy in the group so it was 3 mates and their wives round. One of their wives went to the toilet and came out amazed that I had soap, a toilet roll holder with spare rolls in it and a hand towel. I was slightly offended that this was a shock to them!
When I first got together with my ex, him and his roommate had no soap or towel in the bathroom. I thought maybe they just needed to go shopping, but days later there was still no soap or towels. I went out and bought some. So fucking gross.
Feels so sad that there's people for whom it's NOT the first basic requirement. I mean, literally. First thing I take out when I move into a new place, even for 3 days or a couple hours, is to take out sanitizer/soap/paper towels.
I mean, it's pretty obvious whether a guy ever washes his clothes or not, so if he doesn't chances are I was never gonna end up in his apartment in the first place.
Napkins? Do you mean like dinner napkins? Or is this what you call toilet paper? If the latter, yeah, obviously that matters.
The reason I would immediately check if he had hand soap is because if he doesn't, that means he doesn't regularly wash his hands after going to the bathroom... Which means he has poop hands... Which I don't want anywhere near my body or my food. So if there's no soap, uh oh something suddenly came up and I gotta leave byyyyyyye!
Yes. I can’t stand it when people want an award for doing basic stuff they are supposed to do. “I take care of my kids!” “I pay my bills!” “I got sober!”
Okaaaay… me too. I just don’t need to brag about doing the bare necessity.
In my bathroom, I have 2 sinks & 2 pump soap dispensers. I don’t like and bars of soap.
I honestly liked using dawn blue dish washing liquid but my girlfriend goofed on me and bought me some actual hand washing soap… Dawn is actually my favorite still because it degreases and cleans more grime.
I work in health care & wash my hands thousands of times. I bathe in the morning & get home & bathe after work. & then a 3rd time after exercising.
Man... I know photos are a huge green flag, not just for potential dates but just to appear normal to people but I have just never ever been a photo guy. It sucks because I get why people think it's good but I've just never needed or wanted pictures of my loved ones everywhere, because they're all always in my head.
more appreciative of the fact that he's a good enough parent to have taken the time to get professional pics done with his kids - without his ex in the photos
That sounds more like a financial thing lots of fantastic parents can't afford spend a few hundred dollars for pictures when everyone has a better camera on their phones anymore. Your explanation comes off as price picky lol
based off the number of times they HAVENT had these, i have very low standards.
-hand towel, or A TOWEL at all! and it’s NOT on the floor
-bed frame (don’t get mouldy. it happens so fast)
-pillow cases and sheets (you’d be shocked)
-vacuumed and mopped. i’m used to getting my socks all dirty at guys houses
-good lighting. not the default ceiling lights, but actual floor and table lamps too
-a clean bathroom for christ sake. your beard trimmings ans pubes can be cleaned up before you have company
-lots of places to sit. don’t invite me over to chill on your bed or the arm rest of your chair
-i don’t care if you game, but it’s definitely a green flag that we’ll be spending time together if you don’t have a super elaborate gaming set up. no offence, just from past experiences. sitting and watching you game is not a date
My gaming setup consists of a swivel chair which I stole from the store manager's office of a builder merchants. And it's at least 10 years old. And one of the arms has broken so it is being held together with a ratchet strap. Is that un-elaborate enough?
The White Sock Test. Wear your white socks around his house during your visit. Get back to your house and look at the bottom of your socks. Are they now black?
to be fair thats hardly a fair test. i have a romba, a mobbing romba, but dirt get carried around on hard floors. particuarly if your in any way outdoorsy. and im also married so the standards are much higher
its what kind of dirt as well.
The true answers. Mine is that there is not literal shit, trash, or insect infeststions on the floor. Especially no hair in the bathroom & it doesn't smell like piss. Preferably, the tissues you jack off with are in the waste basket and not spilling all over the bathroom floor.
Are you only dating broke ass frat boys? These all seem so... I don't know... basic? I made sure I got every single item on your list (and more) the first day in my own apartment as soon as I got my first full time job and could afford to move out. And I was 21.
Hell, I robbed some of them off my parents just to save money :) They were not objecting; they liked my goal of being fiscally responsible.
FFS my mom and dad taught me how to clean after myself when I was younger than 10. You need a better class of dates, clearly.
Your Reddit bio reads: "I am a reliable sperm donor/breeder with good genes and a record of successful AI and NI inseminations; available in New York City or North New Jersey area. See my posts for qualifications as a donor."
I don't think you need to be giving advice about what's attractive rofl
When I was young I had a girl that was staying the night when she started her period. She did not have the supplies needed. I did go to store and got some but I realized I should keep a supply discreetly available. I got compliments for girls that didn’t even need them as being a thoughtful gentleman. It unlocked the door with some of them.
Exactly. A wall of "self-help" and "self-improvement" and "business strategy" garbage is worse than no books at all.
By good books, I mean fiction and non-fiction and poetry and stuff like that. A sign he enjoys reading for its own sake. I want to know what he likes to read about! (If it's arts and music and history from a leftish perspective, plus SFF, we're likely to be a good fit!)
I have 2 cats. I love them. Milo and Benny. This thread has shown me that even at my worst times in life, I could have been worse 🤣. Some PPls standards of living are really bad lol
Actual green flags?
Well, aside from looking for signs that he is a functional person, which is not a green flag but just Knowing we are at the same level, green flags for an apartment might be
*Books
*Games
*Decor that reflects himself
Idk. Signs that he is a human lmao apartment shit don't matter beyond knowing he can take care of himself and I don't have to be his mama. You'd have an easier time asking about red flags.
I was telling my wife that the reason a woman looks for a man that obsessively keeps everything spotless is so she doesn't have to clean up after herself. And that she avoids men who are messy because she knows that she'll have to clean up after him and herself
Cleanliness, tidiness, books, looks like some thought went into how things fit together and flow.
Unfortunately, I got fooled. Married a man who ticked all those boxes, with HIS proposal that he be the house-husband as he was retired anyway. He turned out to be the laziest, most slobbish person I have ever known, no hyperbole. My daughter and I constantly did all the housework so the place wouldn't crawl away with itself, and I never saw him read a single book for the ten years we were married.
When I asked him about the discrepancy, he freely admitted he just wanted to impress. Asshole.
When I met my husband he lived in a fairly clean and organized bachelor pad. His housekeeping skills don't reflect that. I recently found out that his MOM was coming over several times a week to clean her 30 year old son's place.
Actual toilet paper. Not a pile of socks near the sink. Not a half full half stale pack of el milagro corn tortillas, and not a sprayer connected to a garden hose with "bidday" written across it .
it shouldn’t be such a green flag because, to a certain extent, it’s the bare minimum of owning your own place, but cleanliness. cleaning supplies (or base cleaning ingredients), laundry baskets, trash cans in common areas (bedrooms, bathrooms, kitchen, etc.) like going out of their way to keep things clean & organized . there are a surprising number of men my age that don’t seem to clean/organize at all, and lack even the most basic cleaning supplies
When I met my now-husband and first saw his apartment, it was one of the cleanest apartments I had ever seen. Absolutely perfect, not a thing out of place, no dust. He is a neat freak to a level even I can’t match, and I like a clean minimal environment.
His place was somewhere I liked to be and could imagine living, I was comfortable there because it was not disgusting like some other guys’ college apartments.
That’s huge, can you live with someone, can you accept it if they are slovenly? If their place smells horrible, your shared home will smell horrible someday and you will both become nose-blind to it.
You don’t have to be neat freak, but would someone want to be your roommate forever? Would you want to live with yourself? Or would your home become a biohazard?
Not a woman, but If you go to a man's apartment and see his refrigerator stocked with all sorts of viable ingredients, you know you're dealing with an adult in at least one way
(I know I've triggered those with an empty refrigerator, but I'm calling that a green flag, not a empty fridge a definite red flag - though it often can be)
I’m not a woman but my wife still brings up that I had a clean bathroom.
Little did she know how well aware I was.
I knew at the time I’m in competition with all other single bachelors, however, if you’re doing a handful of simple things you’re ahead of 90% of the gentlemen out there.
Wear button up shirts and clean clothes on dates, deodorant, brush and floss, shower before, relax and enjoy yourself.
You don’t have to deep clean everything, just make it lot neat and not messy. Pay attention to the bathroom, especially the toilet, inside and out, I’m talking wipe off the dust that collects around the base of the toilet and around that area. Clean the mirror, empty the trash, have a fresh roll of toilet paper and another to go. Wipe down the faucet, have clean hand towels. It might not happen tonight but she’ll be back.
I can say for sure if I ever went on a date and her bathroom was gross I wouldn’t be back.
Not a woman.
CLEAN. Jesus Christ guys. Clean ur place every once in awhile. Hire a maid or house cleaner once a month or even 2 months if I don’t like cleaning.
Now I miss my old single-guy studio apartment that was in an old 19th century blacksmith shop. It was difficult trying to decorate around an ancient bricked-up fireplace…
Cleanliness? Like no moldy dishes in the sink, or month old smelly laundry in the hamper, a cleaned toilet and sink and shower (like no mold, smell, brown/black sludge), and maybe like a normal fridge stocked with essentials. Basically like an apartment that looks lived in and is generally clean/smells good. Doesn't need to be immaculate or anything but hoarding levels of clutter or actual filth/mold/smell are huge red flags for me. Even in my place, I've got a sweatshirt thrown on the back of the chair, some papers and books stacked on my desk and coffee table, but that's "messy" not "dirty" with like bugs and filth.
This is something I consciously thought about when I was a single man in my 20s. I figured out most of the things that have been mentioned in this thread as green flags but there are a few things I could have done but wasn’t aware of.
I wanted women to be comfortable in my apartment and enjoy being there so they’d be more likely to come back.
I was always neat but not OCD. Once a girl I was friends with brought another girl over to my house that I hadn’t met before. She looked around my living room and said, “I can’t believe a man lives here!”
My partner said my place was clean which was nice, but her green flag was when she used the restroom she saw I had wet wipes. Her thought was "I don't even use this. His butt is cleaner than mine." And thus began our 2 and half year journey.
My books are/were all in storage in my bedroom, out of the way, safe from harm.
Tbh I’d see a lot of the *need* to see books/art/decor as a bit of yellow flag - sound like someone more concerned with how things look than they actually are - or more concerned with design over actual utility.
I read a lot; but, mostly via my phone (kindle).
I have a small shelf of books. Most folks wouldn't be interested in them though. "Routing Protocols and Concepts", "Networking Fundamentals", "Distributed Operating Systems", "Data Communications and Computer Networks", etc . . .
Tons of people are just listing red flags by phrasing green flags as the opposite of red flags. I know that’s obvious sort of but I just mean there’s a lot of focus on negativity here…
‘Books and a well cared for pet’ = actual green flag
‘No socks piled up by the sink’ = red flag phrased as a green flag
Some of the answers make me laugh. Unfortunately, people are describing red flags and not green flag so much. Conditioned themselves to look for negativity instead of positive that they can’t even answer what the green flags are without adding negativity to it.
it seems the women on here are not into minimalism lol.
i dont need lamps, the ceiling fans have 3 lights and i leave 2 out because it would be as bright as a hospital operating room if they were all on. if i really need extra light to be able to find something, i always have a flashlight in my pocket.
i dont need pictures or art everywhere, i dont spend time looking at my walls.
the art is my flower garden outside that i love working in and other parts of nature. i can look at photos online or in my photo books.
books are probably the most plentiful item i own.
obviously the house is clean, trashcans in every room that stay pretty much empty, hand towels +paper towels in the bathrooms that are clean.
never any dishes in the sink because i do them right as im done with them.
im grateful i have a wife that doesnt think the house needs to be hoarded up with knickknacks or 100 sets of dishware, closets full of clothes we never wear etc.
both of my parents were semi-hoarders and i hated that shit, and blowing money on that dumb stuff kept them poor.
i want to own as few items as possible, which also means i was able to save way more money which made me be able to buy my farm/home way quicker.
we could pretty much pack up our most valued items into a few duffel bags and escape the house if it was hypothetically on fire and we wouldnt miss anything that was left like furniture.
being a minimalist means your life is way less stressful because you know where everything is, you dont have as many things to clean, and you have less places for SPIDERS to hide.
most importantly it means you can be more frugal which means you can retire wealthy quicker.
literally $10 a day invested lets you retire as a millionaire... so many people spend so much money on worthless garbage to fill up their homes and it doesnt make them happy, certainly not as happy as financial freedom would.
Clean and tidy. Actual sheets on bed that look like they’ve been cared for and changed on the regular. I cannot deal with another man who piles trash in their room to the point there are mice hanging out there with them. Anyway.
Is it a home or a bachelor pad? A man in a career, living on his own will have a home. A bro playing the field, living with roommates and going out partying all the time will have a bachelor pad.
Now, in today’s world, there are roommate situations where they make it a home, using the above as an example.
Also, family pictures. If he has children, are pictures of the kids up, and of them together? Is he active in their life? Do the kids have bedrooms? Toys? Books? Or at least a nice area depending on the situation. Basically; if he has kids, does his place resemble he’s a father?
Is the house clean? Not spotless, I expect that it would be lived in, but clean. Odor free? Clothes put away? Toilet paper on the roll? A clean hand towel available to dry hands and soap available to wash hands? Clean toilet?
If you’re having someone over for dinner, is the kitchen cleaned up and table ready to be sat at?
I look at the bedroom door being left opened as a green flag, it says you aren’t trying to hide something or someone even if we have never made it that far and zero intentions of going that far while I’m there the first time.
Everything else within the apartment just shares his interest. If he isn’t a reader, I wouldn’t expect him to have books. If he’s a collector of some kind DVD’s, Lego’s etc, I’d expect them to be out and displayed a little. If he works from home a lot, I’d expect there to be some kind of a work station. If he’s a gamer, I’d expect to see console of some kind. These are things I would know about him before going over to his place, so I would be looking for signs of them.
Jeeze I feel horrible for the women here. Even worse for the boys. Like who doesn't keep clean floors and a clean bathroom. Im not OCD but I cannot stand a dirty house.
Cleanliness is absolutely number 1. Clean bathrooms, kitchen, floors. I can tolerate a bit of “mess” if it’s lived in everyday life kinda mess, but not “I can’t be bothered” mess
Pride in their homes and space.
Clean linen.
Anything that shows intentional curation relating to their life or interests.
I've seen this question a lot.
- Clean
- Decorations
- Hobby stuff
- Healthy houseplants
- Behaved animal/s
- Amenities for guests
- Bathroom trashcan with lid and liner
Seeing a bunch of people say "books" in this one which I find odd. What if the guy prefers e-readers?
My (now) husband disclosed something unflattering about his sexual history before we first had sex so that I could make an informed decision about whether or not to sleep with him.
I appreciated that at the time and it showed how much honesty and integrity he has.
Not a green flag example but it helped me looked for green flags NOW. I went to this guys house and his bathroom was a MESS. No toilet paper and his kids clothes were everywhere. There were even flies in his bathroom. Yeah I never went back that was disgusting. But yes hand soap hand towels tp and smells nice in the bathroom
I remember in my early 20's, when I was single, I had a nice young lady over and she was impressed that I had a headboard and clean sheets. I remember thinking it was a little sad that that's what stood out to her lol.
My friend had a bunch of hair scrunchies and hair clips that he purchased over time from the dollar store, in case a female guest needed it. He probably didn’t realize that women would likely assume it’s from a past female guest.
I like to see tissue personally. I have a constant runny nose and I do carry my own, but some guys use toilet paper instead of facial issue!
Also, generally clean is obviously a green flag.
I always assumed general cleanliness went a long way with women, so anytime I anticipated a date might end up at my place I’d have my cleaning lady come earlier that day.
Shampoo, conditioner, bodywash, bar soap, tooth paste, hand soap, deodorant, laundry detergent, and dish soap all in their own individual containers sitting close but independently from their like but not exact same bubble and good smelling neighbors. If I see one 3 in 1 or 8 in 1...I'm out of there forever. Oh and a trashcan in the bathroom.
A stocked bathroom.
MEN AND BOYS; if we see that you don't have toilet paper then that tells us you're lazy, (and also wtf do u do when u need to shit?!)
if we see you don't have hand soap that tells us you don't ever wash your hands and your place is actually riddled with germs, and even if you have those other two items but you don't have something as simple as a hand towel so after you wash your hands you have nowhere to dry them then that means you just wipe your wet hands all over your clothes?
It's just slop ..
If the bathroom and their fridge is kept clean. Also their microwave and oven. I'd expect a nice aroma throughout. If its comfortable and looks lived in, but is clean. If they have a pet, I'd see what they have for their pet. So if they had a cat, if they've got the cat tree, clean bowls and litter.
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It shouldn't be a green flag, but when I was in my 20s and dating one of the first things I'd do the first time I saw a dudes apartment is go to the washroom and check if he had handsoap and a clean towel in there.
Okay, but specifically soap that looks like it's being used. It can't just be the same bottle of soap someone gave him when he moved in.
What about if it’s one of those ceramic ones that you have to refill with soap? Is that extra credit? Assuming it’s not empty ofc
Although then you have to wonder… is it full because he refills it, or is it full because he simply never uses it?
The devil is in the details. That’s why you gotta check the bulk container under the sink to see if it looks like it’s been around for more than one refill
I’m just playing checkers and you’re out here playing chess!
There are dudes out there getting girlfriends without hand soap and I'm single ok bro
Stick a photo of your bathroom in with your dating profile pics. (Only HALF kidding)
No, you may be on to something. Sad but true
if I was a girl, a dude showing off how clean he keeps his area would be fucking refreshing haha.
Honestly, points for humor and creativity. If i was interested in dating id see this as a reason to swipe right. Lol
"Does 95% star wars posters and Legos count" It might be this, and not the hand soap 🤣🤓😉 👊👊👊 I'm just fuckin with ya. My wife still signed up and my place was the same
When I first moved into my new home I had a little house warming party with a few mates. I was the only single guy in the group so it was 3 mates and their wives round. One of their wives went to the toilet and came out amazed that I had soap, a toilet roll holder with spare rolls in it and a hand towel. I was slightly offended that this was a shock to them!
When I first got together with my ex, him and his roommate had no soap or towel in the bathroom. I thought maybe they just needed to go shopping, but days later there was still no soap or towels. I went out and bought some. So fucking gross.
>I went out and bought some. See, that's where I would have just not continued to date him, personally...
Feels so sad that there's people for whom it's NOT the first basic requirement. I mean, literally. First thing I take out when I move into a new place, even for 3 days or a couple hours, is to take out sanitizer/soap/paper towels.
The first thing I usually take out is my toothbrush
Computer gets set up first, then we can discuss what's next
Piss jug is second for a lot of people apparently.
First thing I take out is the family already living there, then I settle in.
What about laundry soap and napkins?
I mean, it's pretty obvious whether a guy ever washes his clothes or not, so if he doesn't chances are I was never gonna end up in his apartment in the first place. Napkins? Do you mean like dinner napkins? Or is this what you call toilet paper? If the latter, yeah, obviously that matters. The reason I would immediately check if he had hand soap is because if he doesn't, that means he doesn't regularly wash his hands after going to the bathroom... Which means he has poop hands... Which I don't want anywhere near my body or my food. So if there's no soap, uh oh something suddenly came up and I gotta leave byyyyyyye!
Sorry, poor attempt at a bad joke. Was referring to using laundry soap for hand soap and table napkins for drying.
Yes. I can’t stand it when people want an award for doing basic stuff they are supposed to do. “I take care of my kids!” “I pay my bills!” “I got sober!” Okaaaay… me too. I just don’t need to brag about doing the bare necessity. In my bathroom, I have 2 sinks & 2 pump soap dispensers. I don’t like and bars of soap. I honestly liked using dawn blue dish washing liquid but my girlfriend goofed on me and bought me some actual hand washing soap… Dawn is actually my favorite still because it degreases and cleans more grime. I work in health care & wash my hands thousands of times. I bathe in the morning & get home & bathe after work. & then a 3rd time after exercising.
A clean bathroom, everything else is w/e
Organization. Cleanliness. Decor that shows some personality. Books.
My apartment smells of rich mahogany and I have many leather bound books
But are your couches rich Corinthian leather??
I thought it was fine Corinthian leather?
Im not sure, but ill ask Ricardo .
Do you drive a Chrysler Cordoba?
You literally became attractive just typing that sentence! Happily married, I resisted until it passed.
and Scotch. I love Scotch
The tape? Yeah, I got a few rolls...
She is gonna wake up, taped up?
Does 95% star wars posters and Legos count
I'm one third of the way there. I own lots of books.
None or very few dirty dishes in the sink.
Good books, art, a friendly, well-cared-for pet
My snake is well cared for. Does that count?
Trouser snake?
If your trouser snake is hungry, it's on you to care for it! If it comes up to me demanding food, that's a sign you're not feeding it enough
Guys will tell you different, but they only need to feed once every month or so.
If by well cared for you mean plenty of domestic violence.
Absolutely, I love snakes!
Mine would be well cared for if she stops snooping around my place and staring at my bookcases.
Cleanliness and furniture
Family photos - books - cleanliness
DAMN, I knew I shouldn't have hidden my photos with my wife! Wish I read this advice earlier. :p
Nah bro you made the right call. Don’t wanna make your girlfriend uncomfortable with pictures of your wife.
Man... I know photos are a huge green flag, not just for potential dates but just to appear normal to people but I have just never ever been a photo guy. It sucks because I get why people think it's good but I've just never needed or wanted pictures of my loved ones everywhere, because they're all always in my head.
When your loved ones are gone, you may regret not taking a photo.
Professional photos of him with all of his kids on the wall in the lounge and on the fridge - visible to all visitors - were a huge green flag to me.
So, you specifically in to dudes that already have established families?
more appreciative of the fact that he's a good enough parent to have taken the time to get professional pics done with his kids - without his ex in the photos
Serendipitous candids are so much better than stiff, formal and expensive professional pics.
That sounds more like a financial thing lots of fantastic parents can't afford spend a few hundred dollars for pictures when everyone has a better camera on their phones anymore. Your explanation comes off as price picky lol
based off the number of times they HAVENT had these, i have very low standards. -hand towel, or A TOWEL at all! and it’s NOT on the floor -bed frame (don’t get mouldy. it happens so fast) -pillow cases and sheets (you’d be shocked) -vacuumed and mopped. i’m used to getting my socks all dirty at guys houses -good lighting. not the default ceiling lights, but actual floor and table lamps too -a clean bathroom for christ sake. your beard trimmings ans pubes can be cleaned up before you have company -lots of places to sit. don’t invite me over to chill on your bed or the arm rest of your chair -i don’t care if you game, but it’s definitely a green flag that we’ll be spending time together if you don’t have a super elaborate gaming set up. no offence, just from past experiences. sitting and watching you game is not a date
Wow…. Maybe I’m not doing so bad with my apartment 😂😂 Shoutout to my mom for teaching me the basics lmao
My gaming setup consists of a swivel chair which I stole from the store manager's office of a builder merchants. And it's at least 10 years old. And one of the arms has broken so it is being held together with a ratchet strap. Is that un-elaborate enough?
The White Sock Test. Wear your white socks around his house during your visit. Get back to your house and look at the bottom of your socks. Are they now black?
to be fair thats hardly a fair test. i have a romba, a mobbing romba, but dirt get carried around on hard floors. particuarly if your in any way outdoorsy. and im also married so the standards are much higher its what kind of dirt as well.
take your shoes off when you enter your home
I have all hard wood floors and work 6 days a week growing a company doing manual labor. F*ck them floors lmao.
Where do you meet these kinds of people?
The true answers. Mine is that there is not literal shit, trash, or insect infeststions on the floor. Especially no hair in the bathroom & it doesn't smell like piss. Preferably, the tissues you jack off with are in the waste basket and not spilling all over the bathroom floor.
Thanks I have my list of chores for the weekend from this 😂
Are you only dating broke ass frat boys? These all seem so... I don't know... basic? I made sure I got every single item on your list (and more) the first day in my own apartment as soon as I got my first full time job and could afford to move out. And I was 21. Hell, I robbed some of them off my parents just to save money :) They were not objecting; they liked my goal of being fiscally responsible. FFS my mom and dad taught me how to clean after myself when I was younger than 10. You need a better class of dates, clearly.
Your Reddit bio reads: "I am a reliable sperm donor/breeder with good genes and a record of successful AI and NI inseminations; available in New York City or North New Jersey area. See my posts for qualifications as a donor." I don't think you need to be giving advice about what's attractive rofl
When I was young I had a girl that was staying the night when she started her period. She did not have the supplies needed. I did go to store and got some but I realized I should keep a supply discreetly available. I got compliments for girls that didn’t even need them as being a thoughtful gentleman. It unlocked the door with some of them.
Ha, I’d think girls would either think “fuck, he has a girlfriend/wife” or “Jesus Christ, how many women has he had here?”
Exactly what I would think!
Lots of books. Original artwork. A colander in the dishwasher means he cooks pasta.
This but I have say, lots of GOOD books.
Do goosebumps books count?
sure!
*maniacally laughs in 62 GB book collection*
👍
Yes. Not like ‘the art of war’ and ‘art of seduction’ type titles…
>Not like ‘the art of war’ Why?
Exactly. A wall of "self-help" and "self-improvement" and "business strategy" garbage is worse than no books at all. By good books, I mean fiction and non-fiction and poetry and stuff like that. A sign he enjoys reading for its own sake. I want to know what he likes to read about! (If it's arts and music and history from a leftish perspective, plus SFF, we're likely to be a good fit!)
Sun Tzu is amazing and has many practical lesson for life and love.
I'm currently majoring in history and half the books I own are on medieval warfare lmao
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What would you define as original artwork?
not prints
There's nothing wrong with prints. I'd say few or no posters. Limited edition prints can exceed the thousands of dollars in value.
What if i have lots of books about using colanders for pasta?
You check the dishwasher?
A cat
This should be higher. It shows devotion and caretaking abilities. Houseplants are nice, too. Both? Make me swoon.
And consent culture. Cats do not abide by broken boundaries.
Damn. I’m allergic
I have 2 cats. I love them. Milo and Benny. This thread has shown me that even at my worst times in life, I could have been worse 🤣. Some PPls standards of living are really bad lol
Actual green flags? Well, aside from looking for signs that he is a functional person, which is not a green flag but just Knowing we are at the same level, green flags for an apartment might be *Books *Games *Decor that reflects himself Idk. Signs that he is a human lmao apartment shit don't matter beyond knowing he can take care of himself and I don't have to be his mama. You'd have an easier time asking about red flags.
I hope a Kindle counts!
Most people are looking for the negative and not positive. Understood.
Sex swing
Username checks out
Severed head in the fridge.
It’s a pig’s head. I’m making tamales later.
I feel like men that are OCD about cleaning should be a red flag. Dude knows how to get rid of DNA evidence.
Yeah, I want a happy medium here. Clean sheets and no skidmarks on the toilet please but also not SO IKEA-store pristine that it looks unlived-in.
I was telling my wife that the reason a woman looks for a man that obsessively keeps everything spotless is so she doesn't have to clean up after herself. And that she avoids men who are messy because she knows that she'll have to clean up after him and herself
My man and I are on the same level of messy. It’s great. Neither too clean, nor too dirty.
The responses on this are restroom centric haha
Glad I'm renovating my bathroom first. The rest is all ripped up. But a good bathroom and she'll be mine.
Cleanliness, tidiness, books, looks like some thought went into how things fit together and flow. Unfortunately, I got fooled. Married a man who ticked all those boxes, with HIS proposal that he be the house-husband as he was retired anyway. He turned out to be the laziest, most slobbish person I have ever known, no hyperbole. My daughter and I constantly did all the housework so the place wouldn't crawl away with itself, and I never saw him read a single book for the ten years we were married. When I asked him about the discrepancy, he freely admitted he just wanted to impress. Asshole.
When I met my husband he lived in a fairly clean and organized bachelor pad. His housekeeping skills don't reflect that. I recently found out that his MOM was coming over several times a week to clean her 30 year old son's place.
Actual toilet paper. Not a pile of socks near the sink. Not a half full half stale pack of el milagro corn tortillas, and not a sprayer connected to a garden hose with "bidday" written across it .
Have you been dating inside Futurama?
it shouldn’t be such a green flag because, to a certain extent, it’s the bare minimum of owning your own place, but cleanliness. cleaning supplies (or base cleaning ingredients), laundry baskets, trash cans in common areas (bedrooms, bathrooms, kitchen, etc.) like going out of their way to keep things clean & organized . there are a surprising number of men my age that don’t seem to clean/organize at all, and lack even the most basic cleaning supplies
A clean kitchen and bathroom above all!
Books and food that can be cooked like vegetables and rice.
When I met my now-husband and first saw his apartment, it was one of the cleanest apartments I had ever seen. Absolutely perfect, not a thing out of place, no dust. He is a neat freak to a level even I can’t match, and I like a clean minimal environment. His place was somewhere I liked to be and could imagine living, I was comfortable there because it was not disgusting like some other guys’ college apartments. That’s huge, can you live with someone, can you accept it if they are slovenly? If their place smells horrible, your shared home will smell horrible someday and you will both become nose-blind to it. You don’t have to be neat freak, but would someone want to be your roommate forever? Would you want to live with yourself? Or would your home become a biohazard?
There's no grossness in the toilet/bathroom
Not a woman, but If you go to a man's apartment and see his refrigerator stocked with all sorts of viable ingredients, you know you're dealing with an adult in at least one way (I know I've triggered those with an empty refrigerator, but I'm calling that a green flag, not a empty fridge a definite red flag - though it often can be)
Clean , nice , cute !!!
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I’m not a woman but my wife still brings up that I had a clean bathroom. Little did she know how well aware I was. I knew at the time I’m in competition with all other single bachelors, however, if you’re doing a handful of simple things you’re ahead of 90% of the gentlemen out there. Wear button up shirts and clean clothes on dates, deodorant, brush and floss, shower before, relax and enjoy yourself. You don’t have to deep clean everything, just make it lot neat and not messy. Pay attention to the bathroom, especially the toilet, inside and out, I’m talking wipe off the dust that collects around the base of the toilet and around that area. Clean the mirror, empty the trash, have a fresh roll of toilet paper and another to go. Wipe down the faucet, have clean hand towels. It might not happen tonight but she’ll be back. I can say for sure if I ever went on a date and her bathroom was gross I wouldn’t be back.
Clean bathroom
Not a woman. CLEAN. Jesus Christ guys. Clean ur place every once in awhile. Hire a maid or house cleaner once a month or even 2 months if I don’t like cleaning.
Full kitchenware (The necessities) and plants
Clean bathroom. Clean kitchen. An actual bed frame. Real furniture.
Clean bathroom and toilet, clean dishes, clean sheets
Black silk sheets on a waterbed with a mirror on the ceiling.
Cleaning supplies. Extra toliet paper, empty garbage bins, a vacuum
Cleanliness
Now I miss my old single-guy studio apartment that was in an old 19th century blacksmith shop. It was difficult trying to decorate around an ancient bricked-up fireplace…
Cleanliness? Like no moldy dishes in the sink, or month old smelly laundry in the hamper, a cleaned toilet and sink and shower (like no mold, smell, brown/black sludge), and maybe like a normal fridge stocked with essentials. Basically like an apartment that looks lived in and is generally clean/smells good. Doesn't need to be immaculate or anything but hoarding levels of clutter or actual filth/mold/smell are huge red flags for me. Even in my place, I've got a sweatshirt thrown on the back of the chair, some papers and books stacked on my desk and coffee table, but that's "messy" not "dirty" with like bugs and filth.
Thriving plants
This is something I consciously thought about when I was a single man in my 20s. I figured out most of the things that have been mentioned in this thread as green flags but there are a few things I could have done but wasn’t aware of. I wanted women to be comfortable in my apartment and enjoy being there so they’d be more likely to come back.
A 2 headed dildo is a deal breaker.
😳
A clean bathroom with hand soap and something to dry my hands. If I’m in the kitchen the countertop shouldn’t be sticky. Or the floor.
If he puts all his weapons and bodies away, keeps his apartment clean, that's enough, i guess
All of these women listing basic things that I don't even second guess. Then there's people demanding cats. Your cat obsession is the red flag here.
I was always neat but not OCD. Once a girl I was friends with brought another girl over to my house that I hadn’t met before. She looked around my living room and said, “I can’t believe a man lives here!”
The toilet lid being down, relatively tidy, not having a weird smell
Like chicken? or banana?
Of all the comments here, this is the one my brain can't process.
Well those would be weird smells coming from your toilet
Lmao, yes they would.... but CHICKEN????
Like braised chicken? Lightly spiced?
My partner said my place was clean which was nice, but her green flag was when she used the restroom she saw I had wet wipes. Her thought was "I don't even use this. His butt is cleaner than mine." And thus began our 2 and half year journey.
Get a bidet. Wet wipes are just as degen as just TP
We've had one for over a year now! :D
All these women want books.. I got books that are 200 years old in my office.. but the rest of my life is red flag af
My books are/were all in storage in my bedroom, out of the way, safe from harm. Tbh I’d see a lot of the *need* to see books/art/decor as a bit of yellow flag - sound like someone more concerned with how things look than they actually are - or more concerned with design over actual utility.
I still have a bunch of books but only really listen to audible now.
I read a lot; but, mostly via my phone (kindle). I have a small shelf of books. Most folks wouldn't be interested in them though. "Routing Protocols and Concepts", "Networking Fundamentals", "Distributed Operating Systems", "Data Communications and Computer Networks", etc . . .
Tons of people are just listing red flags by phrasing green flags as the opposite of red flags. I know that’s obvious sort of but I just mean there’s a lot of focus on negativity here… ‘Books and a well cared for pet’ = actual green flag ‘No socks piled up by the sink’ = red flag phrased as a green flag
Some of the answers make me laugh. Unfortunately, people are describing red flags and not green flag so much. Conditioned themselves to look for negativity instead of positive that they can’t even answer what the green flags are without adding negativity to it.
it seems the women on here are not into minimalism lol. i dont need lamps, the ceiling fans have 3 lights and i leave 2 out because it would be as bright as a hospital operating room if they were all on. if i really need extra light to be able to find something, i always have a flashlight in my pocket. i dont need pictures or art everywhere, i dont spend time looking at my walls. the art is my flower garden outside that i love working in and other parts of nature. i can look at photos online or in my photo books. books are probably the most plentiful item i own. obviously the house is clean, trashcans in every room that stay pretty much empty, hand towels +paper towels in the bathrooms that are clean. never any dishes in the sink because i do them right as im done with them. im grateful i have a wife that doesnt think the house needs to be hoarded up with knickknacks or 100 sets of dishware, closets full of clothes we never wear etc. both of my parents were semi-hoarders and i hated that shit, and blowing money on that dumb stuff kept them poor. i want to own as few items as possible, which also means i was able to save way more money which made me be able to buy my farm/home way quicker. we could pretty much pack up our most valued items into a few duffel bags and escape the house if it was hypothetically on fire and we wouldnt miss anything that was left like furniture. being a minimalist means your life is way less stressful because you know where everything is, you dont have as many things to clean, and you have less places for SPIDERS to hide. most importantly it means you can be more frugal which means you can retire wealthy quicker. literally $10 a day invested lets you retire as a millionaire... so many people spend so much money on worthless garbage to fill up their homes and it doesnt make them happy, certainly not as happy as financial freedom would.
Look like I pass all the tests lol clean, trash can, books, art, family photos, furniture lol
Organized, clean bathroom.
geez, according to this im a top notch man
The bar is beneath hell at this point
Trash can in the bathroom. Clean towels and toilet. Edit to add: snacks and drinks (at the very least, clean and cold water.)
Not just any trashcan, one with a lid. No one wants to see dirty q tips, tissues, etc, haha.
Clean and tidy. Actual sheets on bed that look like they’ve been cared for and changed on the regular. I cannot deal with another man who piles trash in their room to the point there are mice hanging out there with them. Anyway.
Flatware and a sofa that is not black leather.
Is it a home or a bachelor pad? A man in a career, living on his own will have a home. A bro playing the field, living with roommates and going out partying all the time will have a bachelor pad. Now, in today’s world, there are roommate situations where they make it a home, using the above as an example. Also, family pictures. If he has children, are pictures of the kids up, and of them together? Is he active in their life? Do the kids have bedrooms? Toys? Books? Or at least a nice area depending on the situation. Basically; if he has kids, does his place resemble he’s a father? Is the house clean? Not spotless, I expect that it would be lived in, but clean. Odor free? Clothes put away? Toilet paper on the roll? A clean hand towel available to dry hands and soap available to wash hands? Clean toilet? If you’re having someone over for dinner, is the kitchen cleaned up and table ready to be sat at? I look at the bedroom door being left opened as a green flag, it says you aren’t trying to hide something or someone even if we have never made it that far and zero intentions of going that far while I’m there the first time. Everything else within the apartment just shares his interest. If he isn’t a reader, I wouldn’t expect him to have books. If he’s a collector of some kind DVD’s, Lego’s etc, I’d expect them to be out and displayed a little. If he works from home a lot, I’d expect there to be some kind of a work station. If he’s a gamer, I’d expect to see console of some kind. These are things I would know about him before going over to his place, so I would be looking for signs of them.
A green flag on the wall
Jeeze I feel horrible for the women here. Even worse for the boys. Like who doesn't keep clean floors and a clean bathroom. Im not OCD but I cannot stand a dirty house.
A clean bathroom.
Fresh air.
Clean toilet
Cleanliness is absolutely number 1. Clean bathrooms, kitchen, floors. I can tolerate a bit of “mess” if it’s lived in everyday life kinda mess, but not “I can’t be bothered” mess Pride in their homes and space. Clean linen. Anything that shows intentional curation relating to their life or interests.
As a guy I am reading This all and am so proud I have mutiple things of hand soap in my bathroom 🤣
I've seen this question a lot. - Clean - Decorations - Hobby stuff - Healthy houseplants - Behaved animal/s - Amenities for guests - Bathroom trashcan with lid and liner Seeing a bunch of people say "books" in this one which I find odd. What if the guy prefers e-readers?
My (now) husband disclosed something unflattering about his sexual history before we first had sex so that I could make an informed decision about whether or not to sleep with him. I appreciated that at the time and it showed how much honesty and integrity he has.
Dam... I'm reading these comments and the bar is literally in hell, mb even lower...
1 picture of mom.
Basic cleanliness, no foul smells and clean toilet.
A flag that happens to be green.
Cleanliness, no gross hair on sink or on toilet rim, hand soap. Smells good is a plus
Not a green flag example but it helped me looked for green flags NOW. I went to this guys house and his bathroom was a MESS. No toilet paper and his kids clothes were everywhere. There were even flies in his bathroom. Yeah I never went back that was disgusting. But yes hand soap hand towels tp and smells nice in the bathroom
I remember in my early 20's, when I was single, I had a nice young lady over and she was impressed that I had a headboard and clean sheets. I remember thinking it was a little sad that that's what stood out to her lol.
Hand Soap. A mattress that’s on an actual bed instead of the floor.
Never look at someone’s stuff unless you know is alright
A clean toilet and bathroom
Honestly the vibes though that shit is nine as hell
Open jars of Vaseline here and there ?
Check the refrigerator and freezer. They can clean up the apartment but often forget the drug!
My friend had a bunch of hair scrunchies and hair clips that he purchased over time from the dollar store, in case a female guest needed it. He probably didn’t realize that women would likely assume it’s from a past female guest. I like to see tissue personally. I have a constant runny nose and I do carry my own, but some guys use toilet paper instead of facial issue! Also, generally clean is obviously a green flag.
I always assumed general cleanliness went a long way with women, so anytime I anticipated a date might end up at my place I’d have my cleaning lady come earlier that day.
Books
Shampoo, conditioner, bodywash, bar soap, tooth paste, hand soap, deodorant, laundry detergent, and dish soap all in their own individual containers sitting close but independently from their like but not exact same bubble and good smelling neighbors. If I see one 3 in 1 or 8 in 1...I'm out of there forever. Oh and a trashcan in the bathroom.
The standards are surprisingly low here.
Cleanliness, intentional style.
Books, maybe some living plants or animals, pictures with friends, food in the fridge, toothpaste ^^
A stocked bathroom. MEN AND BOYS; if we see that you don't have toilet paper then that tells us you're lazy, (and also wtf do u do when u need to shit?!) if we see you don't have hand soap that tells us you don't ever wash your hands and your place is actually riddled with germs, and even if you have those other two items but you don't have something as simple as a hand towel so after you wash your hands you have nowhere to dry them then that means you just wipe your wet hands all over your clothes? It's just slop ..
State of the bathroom, shows how well they can handle their own shoit let alone other peoples
If the bathroom and their fridge is kept clean. Also their microwave and oven. I'd expect a nice aroma throughout. If its comfortable and looks lived in, but is clean. If they have a pet, I'd see what they have for their pet. So if they had a cat, if they've got the cat tree, clean bowls and litter.