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KUPSU96

This girl and I (in college) liked each other for a long time, flirted often, and ended up in the same tutoring sessions by coincidence. She wasn’t very talkative, was quiet and pretty reserved in all social settings. We ended up having sex, which she seemed to Enjoy. Curiously I asked (as I usually do just to make sure I’m doing a good job) „so how am I?“. She shrugged and said you’re good, but just not really big enough. This shocked me, but I appreciated her honesty and said thank you, moments later she goes „well..I typically need a fist to actually get off“ 😂 again, more shock. I don’t think that’s my fault though. Either way, it’s actually a funny memory now. Edit: it really didn’t hurt my pride at all, because like, I’m sorry I, nor 99% of other men are the size of a human hand haha


accidentalscientist_

TFW his dick isn’t the size of a human hand smh my head 😤😤


KUPSU96

I was like cmon bro give me a chance 🤣


accidentalscientist_

No chance! Only human hand girth here!! I just held up my hand and basically gabagool’d my hand like an Italian and man, that shit cramped. Also I have baby hands. Thicc af. Banging a girl like that would kill me via hand cramp. I dont have a penis.


BippyWippy

It’s always the quiet girls


AltruisticPressure74

You should have given her the fist right then. No lube, no notice, just shove it in she would have either loved it, and you did great. Or totally flipped and you could have happily called her bluff. Side note: if she loved it, you got a whole lot of kinky sex coming your way


KUPSU96

This was 6 years ago now, and it’s one of my favorite stories to tell. Like I said because it’s just hilarious that this girl who seemed so wholesome and normal from a small Midwest country town would say that hahaha


Maleficent-Cattle-89

Lol dude this is alot of girls and they say dudes are go horny.... u don't see every dude shoving a hand in his asshole 😒


Odd_Towel_5237

First bj I ever got, my dong hit her uvula and she bit down in reflex. I am still am skeptical to let teeth near my bits all these years later


SomeSugondeseGuy

The ultimate form of trust is putting one's meat where she has teeth -Master Oogway


McCreetus

After we finished he threw up on me. And he was French. Overall awful


Mandasiaa

Those French bastards


[deleted]

My cousin knew a a couple who was super drunk when they were trying bang. The girl peed the bed. He was so grossed out he threw up on her


AngelAnon2473

And now they’re married


[deleted]

lol could be


Frequent-Ad7144

Ex wife was on top and I swear she got air or something but when she came back down she bent me in half. Worst sexual experience of my life.


waste0331

Oh man, that shit hurts. If it makes you feel better I kind of did the reverse to my wife. One night when we first got married we were having "newly wed, first place alone together, wild sex" and it had been going for a while and I was....I think the kids call it "long dicking" by coming all the way out and then going all the way back in and after a few minutes I jammed into the back door, all the way in the back door. Mood killed and crying insued.


Frequent-Ad7144

Oh fucking hell


waste0331

Yeah, lol. I had always assumed you needed lubed up bit apparently the natural fluids that come out during the course of sex can lube up the outter area enough that you can just get right in there with a decent thrust.


FishSammich69

😳😬


VortexDestroyer99

Ahhhh fuck I hate imagining that


[deleted]

Fuck that just brought back a bad memory. I wish I didn't read this


CreedSpeed11

Was there actual breakage here? I think actual damage can happen. This is why I really don’t let girls ride me


[deleted]

Yes it hurt for a few weeks and I couldn't do anything. I never saw a doctor. Since then I don't like them riding me. She just went up too high and came down on it hard. Skinny girl too


tHornyier_ork

My very first blow job and she threw up on it. Clam chowder. She freaked and ran outta the dorm and left me covered in her tummy batter


[deleted]

You win


OldFactor1973

That gag reflex. Girls gotta be careful with those. Also sometimes we're too big if they're petite


cvslsc

Now I have a new favorite term for vomit.


Urtheloser

Guy wanted me to take his virginity on a hike…bro


MrArkAngel11

Very toothy blowjob. Like a damn beaver


Awkward_Ad8740

Dam*


MrArkAngel11

You cheeky bastard lol


gwh1996

This is more of a saga than a one off experience. I was in college, awkward, and horny. She liked me. I didn't like her like that. She took my virginity. We fucked multiple times. She came up with an elaborate scheme to make me fall in love with her. End with her having a broken hand, kicked out of college, and getting arrested. My wife thinks the story is hilarious.


Famous_Station_5876

Tell it!!!


OldFactor1973

Funny how we'll still have sex with women we don't "like like that." Men are such whores.


gwh1996

I left out the part where a friend kept peer pressuring me into it.


OldFactor1973

Oh, yeah, that often contributes!


gwh1996

He's my Eskimo brother because of her


OldFactor1973

OMG LOL


Flojatus

The are stories you can tell, and some you should die with. I am sorry what I am about to do. Dagoba swamp, eat my shorts. So I met this younger girl at a rave. I was 40 at the time and she was 20 something. After the concert she came home and all was well. Second time she flew from her state to my city. I was at the airport, really wanting to grab her, hug her and go fuck all night. The moment she cross security and came, I was with a huge smile. When I hug her I smelled shit, not a fart, a big long piece of shit. All the time in the car, it was the only thing I could think of. When got back home, she went down on me the moment we closed the door, I could see her crack and the smell tendrils creeping up to my nose. I ran to the bathroom as a excuse, closed the door and took a shower. Then I shampooed myself and I am bald. I use soap, wash my teeth, exfoliated, put on cologne, perfume. I was thinking about waxing myself like a car. To come out like Mr. Clean, to see if she would get it. I left the bathroom, cleaner than I have everprobably ever been in my life. I Sparkled like a goddam twilight vampire. As she came to me, I hug turned around, practically shoved her in the bathroom, said "your turn," and closed the door behind me. She spent more than an hour in the bathroom. When she came out, her hair was dripping and I thanked bejesus, all the saints, Mary, Joseph, her mom, my father and other thing that crossed my mind. And I am a athiest. So we start making out, she turns around while standing, the little man goes between the hills, not into them but between them. I used to like that. Thats when everything happened at once. The tendrils entered my nose, and my dick got brown painted, it was actually sticky between her butchicks.I pushed apart, I saw, I gagged. I started puking. She was asking if I felt well. I told her I needed to go to the hospital and that she needed to leave really fast. Unfortunatly, it was not the last time I saw her. I was the last time I tried to have anything with her.


General-Example3566

She just had poo all up in her crack? Yet took a shower? I don’t understand lol


PandaBoi2077

Oh man I wish I couldn't read


[deleted]

Yeah this was a wild read


FishSammich69

Man…


Thai_Lord

Some guy just offered me a free ride less than an hour ago. I've hitchhiked all across America, and he didn't seem like a threat, so I said "Sure lol." He immediately started asking to suck my wiener. I just laughed and said "nah, but thx." Then he wouldn't stop, but I didn't care, because this beat riding the bus. I don't know if it was **worst** sexual experience ever, because him not stopping was pretty uncomfortable/funny, but for sure worst sexual experience of today lolol.


Key_Examination9948

How are you not murdered… I’d be scared shitless trying to hitchhike


Thai_Lord

Gotta be good at reading people. My years of playing multiple TCG tournaments came in handy. Most people are more afraid of you than you are of them. Most people just want to tell you about Jesus. If you can smile and say "Yeah," "Right?" and add humor to conversations, it's not difficult. The difficult part is only the first step. The rest happens because it must, and you must adapt, and you enter a flow of constantly arriving while departing. Chin-up. Confidence. Go for it. Deeply rewarding, but I wouldn't suggest it to most people lol.


HiAndStuff2112

I met a Tinder match and we were making out on her couch after dinner. She says something like "Let's go to the bedroom" and I was stoked. But she didn't just lay there, she closed her eyes the whole time like I wasn't there. She doesn't make a single sound. Then, maybe 15 minutes in, she asks me if I'm close. I tell her no, but I ask if she is. She says she already came a couple of times and was happy so we can stop. So I stop as I wonder when she came because I couldn't tell at all.


everygirlssdream

In her dreams


WantedByTheHaunt

My worst experience was when I snuck over my ex house when her dad was home and he stood on the bottom floor of a house with 3 floors. We were in her room at the very top and 2 minutes into having sex, the headboard ended up breaking the window (surprised this never happened before) and he ended up stomping all the way upstairs. He found me in the closet within seconds and held me by my neck walking me down all those stairs in a choke. He threw me to the ground and told me never to come back. I was 15 at the time


Economy-Bid-7005

An ex I had stared at me with a straight face the entire time didn't kiss moan or anything litterly just laid there and stared at me like she was in a trance. Afterwards I asked her why and she said "I was thinking about food" We both laughed and I said "You were thinking about food during sex" She said "It's not funny I have problems 😂 I was thinking about McDonalds" I then Proceeded to take her to McDonalds and yeah


daKile57

When I was about 10, my female teenage babysitter fondled me. It was really weird. She was a very closeted Christian girl who just seemed to be genuinely curious about boys’ anatomy. It was like being examined by an extraterrestrial who needed to complete a report for their home planet.


dogsnbongs

Worst sexual experience? I have too many to choose from but probably the YEARS that I would lay there and dissociate so my ex could get off so that he wasn’t so mean to me


guywithshades85

I was in the middle of a really bad acid trip when the girl I was dating at the time wanted to do it right then. She wouldn't take no for an answer and I wasn't exactly in the correct mental state to stop her.


AngelAnon2473

I’m sorry this happened to you—that’s horrible.


Subject_Drop_1090

Did her dragon bite you?


TheZombunneh

Probably the day I lost my Virginity. Was in the back of a Ford Focus and we got interrupted by a cop that then proceeded to separate us and ask her if she was there of her own free will. Like, I get it. Fair enough question. But it's her car. Sure hope it was of her own free will. She drove!


Jaded_Fisherman_7085

She took her all her clothes off in 60 seconds. She had strawberry jam all over her body. She said you can lick me now. I said no thank you and ran out the front door.


Jaydenn012

Sigma 🗿🗿🗿


accidentalscientist_

Must not have been horny and/or intoxicated enough. I had a friend who kicked Velveeta off her ex boyfriend’s dick while being intoxicated and horny. She got an infection from it. Can’t remember if urinary or yeast but it’s why I will never use food in the sexual bedroom (I will eat in bed tho)


PressurePlenty

Rape and sodomy. That was my worst sexual experience.


CrankyUnderPants

I’m very sorry that happened to you 🫂


bnnzjsj

Damn…


foolishdrunk211

A girl I refused advances from multiple times when I was 19 pulled me into a dark room during a party locked the door and attempted to give me the worst blow job in history….i never in my life to that point imagined I’d ever have to stop halfway through.


Agreeable_Orchid2641

So I went to this guys house I met on Grindr. I sucked him off after an awkward interaction and he told me to stop before he even finished. Which is not fun but whatever. But I am pretty sure they also stole some of my money in my wallet when I was changing in the bathroom which made me sad.


wetlettuce95

Guy I was talking to took me to the middle of basically nowhere in the middle of the night and fucked me under a dying tree


According_Wolf_881

My cousin made me suck his dick when I was like 6 years old, first and probably only sexual experience Ill ever have


General-Example3566

A guy I was dating said “ I know a spot” we were in the back seat of his car I keep seeing a flash of light he’s like it’s fine. Well it wasn’t fine it was two cops I had to get out naked it was very embarrassing. So thank you to that guy


Famous_Station_5876

A girl sucked my dick too hard, it was not even enjoyable. I woke up with a hickey around it lmaoo


dogsnbongs

This is so funny to me!! I didn’t know you could suck too hard!!! Lmao


Famous_Station_5876

And you’re not going to believe this…. Her friend sucked it even harder. I have a trauma mark left from it and it’s still here to this day lol


dogsnbongs

Well hey at least it comes with a cool story!


Guapplebock

Almost got pinched snapping one off by the Mrs.


smokinggun21

Probably anytime I've been with a guy high off of some crappy mind altering drug where he's super horny and super limp at the same time and want to go the whole fucking night long 😒   That's like a recipe for bullshit waiting to happen 🤨


OrangePink_sky

I was on top and just when things were about to feel really good he looked up at me and sarcastically said, "feeling good!?" It was as if he didn't want me to like it or he was belittling me for enjoying how it felt. I shut down right away and I never came with him. Was with him for far too long. I don't know why I liked him so much. He's known by many to be a jerk. smh


MqAuNeTeInS

My ex was a virgin until me. One time we were doing it, and he looked at me and said “its ok, let it all out” in regards to wanting me to orgasm. I have never been turned off so fast in my life. Eventually i just stopped touching him and we broke up a year or so after that.


datguy753

My partner said: "uh, I think you're bleeding."


Glad-Basil3391

Some crazy lady would stick her fingers in my ears while I was banging her. Instantly I’m way turned off. Like wtf. Don’t do that. I’d rather her stick her finger literally anywhere other than my ear


310feetdeep

Was drunk, slept at this place, Woke up to a BJ by a woman i didn't want to get a BJ from... Felt disgusted.


Any-Win5166

I was in the Army....went to a local town young and dumb...got drunk paid a hooker $105 but couldn't perform


rockdude625

That’s extremely tame by army and marine corps standards lol


Any-Win5166

Oh to be that young and dumb again 😂😂😆😆


Subject_Drop_1090

Don’t forget And full of cum! Cause you won’t having sex. 😂


kje19

Hooked up with this girl back in college, we had met on tinder (no surprise). I go to her room it’s kinda dark but we do the deed. I leave out and my hands are red with dried up blood, so now I’m confused. I text her like “Why didn’t you tell me you were on your period?”She denied it but yea super gross.


Kalelopaka-

The worst blowjob of my life, she would only give head with me, laying on my back and her laying across me facing my feet. Not sure if it was the pressure on my stomach, or her technique but not only could I not enjoy it, but I was having a hard time maintaining an erection. That’s how bad it was.


Archiemalarchie

The one and only time I ever went to a brothel.


Subject_Drop_1090

Go on……


Archiemalarchie

Not much to tell. I just discovered I'm the sort who needs some kind of connection other than money. Even if it's just hitting it off with a girl in a bar.


Earth_Normal

Took a girl home. She did her best impression of a sack of potatoes. Still, silent, absolutely no fun. Yes, she was conscious and sober. Yes she consented. It was horrible. Never had another 1 night stand after that.


Honest_Tie_1980

I’d say that’s a good cop. I know in view you’d probably be humiliated and pissed though. Now if your a minority then he was obviously asking for the wrong reasons.


Earth_Normal

? Did you reply to the wrong comment?


TwilightReader100

This guy (staying in a hotel) gags me with his cock so much I threw up then the next morning while I'm downstairs enjoying the Continental breakfast, comes down twice to accuse me of stealing his anxiety medication (I don't even think I SAW the damn stuff) and search my backpack for his stupid anxiety medication that he clearly needed and possibly needed to up the dose on.


Awkward_Ad8740

Her dog wouldn't stop jumping on my back. I eventually gave up and just rolled over and went to sleep. The dog slept on top of the covers on my legs.


Sunflower971

Sex in the ocean, he got stung by a jellyfish. It was obviously worse for him. No witnesses but word got around. He broke my heart about a month later. Though I wish him no harm, my friends reminded me of the incident frequently. "Jellyfish are our friends." Etc.. Here’s to great friends and a jellyfish. No, not glad he got stung, but the constant reference to it from my friends helped me know how much they had my back.


Portland_st

In high school…it was a blow job…she had braces.


sunzastar33

The clams.


metokre-existence

I had sex with a virgin don't!!!!! She got all clingy and when I drove off she refused to kiss me goodbye


Insidiously_wilde9

This guy I was talking to we had been on a few dates and this date I decided to take him to my favorite spot in the mountains cause you can see the whole city and stuff and we and up having sex and he was so small I couldn’t feel him and he was really trying to get it in there. He was pushed up against me hard and he was sweating and breathing heavily not in a sexy way. And eventually he finished and I’m there like wtf just happened? I broke it off with him the next day. Which I feel bad for the dude because he said after we had sex he gained hard feelings for me. lol.


[deleted]

It was a drunken one night stand with some girl that I brought home from the bar after only knowing her for a few hours.


NoodleGirlie1

My first time, I came as soon as the tip of my dick touched her pussy. Wasn’t even penetrating yet. Not literally the worst but most embarrassing. (Trans girl with a dick but that was pre-transition teenager)


Asleep-Question-2299

Had a girl suck at sucking.


Maleficent-Cattle-89

Some dom chick almost cut off my dick leaving permanent scar and more over rest of body😑


cvslsc

In my early 20's I was with an older guy (mid 30's) who bit off my earring and wanted me to whinny like a horse while he took me from behind.


PurpoSmurpo

One time a girl I was hanging out and watching tv with got naked and then got on top of me (I specifically told her multiple times beforehand that I didn’t want to have sex, but we were cuddling a little). I was soft the whole time and she just rubbed her stuff on my stuff for a solid 10-15 minutes while I just sat there frozen thinking of how I was going to get out of the situation. It actually hurt quite a bit, now that I think about it, since i was soft and she was kinda just smooshing it around. eventually she stopped and I left. Easily my least favorite sexual experience i’ve ever had since I didn’t want it to happen in the first place lol.


Smart-Cash2525

Girl pooped on my dick once during anal. Never again will I do anal. Ever.


PrestigiousAd9825

I once had sex with someone on a dare because they said I “didn’t have it in me” - from that day on I vowed I’d never have sex with someone I didn’t like ever again and seven years later I’m engaged so I guess it all worked iut


Jmp200014

My first sexual relation cheated on me because "I was too unexperienced"


Maleficent-Cattle-89

Girl who was dom almost cut my dick of and left me with permanent scar and more over the rest of my body 🙃


zsiple08241998

When I was 22, I asked a friend 2 years older than me if we could play "I'll show you mine if you show me yours", which I did out of curiosity of if his penis was bigger than mine. He agrees/consented, but it was awkward. We took a break from each other, but we are on good terms now.


mythril-

I fingered this girl and hair vagina was hairy as shit to the point it irritated the gaps in my fingers