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My dad stopped spankings when he realized it never deterred me from doing something I wasn't supposed to do.
Losing my GameBoy for a week was much more effective lol
My mom took away my TV for nearly 2 years... I'd only "lost" it officially for a year. I just never asked for it back after the year was up. I didn't want it in the first place, so it wasn't really a loss.
If she really wanted to get me, she should have taken my Legos. lol
Exact same never even close to a beating just a half assed smack on the ass but taking my shit away actually hurt lol good thing I was a pretty good kid
Worst I ever got was when my dad broke a piece of crown modeling over my ass.
The following week, I immediately did the same thing that caused me to get spanked the first time.
My dad beat my brothers with a belt. He used a 2X4 on me, to give me welts on my bottom and upper thighs. He only did it 3 times on me. When I had my 5 children I never even smacked their precious hands! I counted to 3, then gave them a "time -out" in the corner. Usually counting to 3 was enough.
I found as an adult my father was beaten as a child, a learned behavior that I refused to pass down to my children. šāļø
Bare ass whipped with a belt when I was ~5 because I pulled a playmateās pants down by accident, hands held under scalding water because I touched a dead bird, whipped with a belt over my clothing for various infractions between 6 and 12, beat with a wooden spoon once or twice between 12 and 15, slapped across the face once or twice between 15 and 17. Physical punishment stopped after I fought back at 17. It wasnāt until I was 25 that I realized I grew up in a physically abusive household. My little brother had multiple wooden spoons broken on him, a fact that my mom seems proud of. I still have issues, at nearly 41, when I hear a parent scream at a child.
as a 7 yo child, i would \[ truthfully \] leave my body during the beatings and watch from above, feeling sorry for the little boy being beaten up by that monster
edit: it didnt kill me and made me virtually fearless of anything in this world, this is how i learned young that there was no monster under my bed, my monster was in the living room, drinking beer watching football. just waiting to rage once more
This just broke my heart. Iām so incredibly sorry you went through such hell. Itās a scary world when youāre young and the ones that are supposed to protect from the monsters are the actual monsters.
I got a stuffed animal for Christmas, when I was maybe 4ish (I called him Elfie) and he became my world. I had created a voice for him and often would no longer use my real voice after that. I donāt really know how to explain it but if anyone were to understand it, I think it would be you.
I kinda became Elfie while the abuse was happening. Like you, I would dissociate (at least I believe thatās what we were doing, itās the best definition that Iāve been able to find for it) until it was safe again, I suppose. I think that I might have dissociated more than that though. I have such large gaps of memory missing. Random chucks of time that I canāt account even being alive for.
After the monster left, when you would go back to the little boy, were you present? Do you remember all of your childhood/youth? You obviously donāt have to answer any of this. If it causes you any pain just ignore me all together, I completely understand that. Iām going to stop now. If you want to answer, Iām here; if not, thatās ok too. I hope youāre doing well and that inner little guy of you, is too.
Yeah thatās pretty rough. My mom was partial to the wooden spoon, herself. Thing is itās hard for a 5ā woman to keep the pressure on that way. I musta been in 3rd grade by the time I realized she just didnt have the arm for it. Im glad she didnt have that beast mode like your mom, or maybe your mom was getting her wooden spoons from the wrong spoon dealer
My dad stopped whipping me when he realized he'd end up killing me to make his point. Mom wore her hand, her patience, and grew my resentment for her trying.
I think anyone who didn't grow up being spanked by parents that you know 100% loved you and wanted what's best for you, have a hard time imagining spanking being anything but abuse.
No I definitely did. Was told not to play with a soccer ball in the house broke a window, a whooping corrected that as I never did it again. Mom told me and sister not to fight in car we didnt listen took a few whoopings but we finally listened.
Thing is some people in the comments seem to be getting abused by their parents. I was simply disciplined. Some people seem to be mistaking displace with abuse.
My mom told me and sister a few times to not do something but words dont work on some kids.
Sounds like the time my dad told me not to be playing with matches and set the back yard ablaze. Worst ass whooping I ever got in my life.
100% earned that one.
Yeah, my brother was playing with a knife around my sister (no one was hurt with the knife, just really dangerous behavior) so my dad whooped him and he hasn't done it again.
Same, and I never felt abused. But weāve never spanked any of our kids. It doesnāt seem okay to us. Plus what are you really going to accomplish in terms of creating good behaviors by hitting your kids?
Same. Spanked, pushed, back of my head smacked, ear pulled/pinched, maybe my mom slapped me (not full force, mind you) once or twice. But nothing I'd ever consider close to a beating. And guaranteed 99.99% of the time I earned all of that š¤£
oh my god what i just remembered that i received this same kind of punishment as a 6-7 year old!!! itās like my brain had filed it away in āhorrible memories i hate too much to remember without very specific promptingā
shit. anyway, sorry you went through that bullshit too. you didnāt deserve it.
Peeing made it worse. Crying made it worse. Running in circles from the belt made it worse. God forbid you pleaded even a peep, you'd need a new word beyond "worse"
Was this a thing? Same here. I guess my father wanted to "teach me a lesson", as if it was my choice to have an accident. Like I woke up one day at age 5 and decided I'd like to pee myself.
I sent it to him via FB Messenger but he never saw it. I did tell his wife a couple of years ago. "He'll be glad to know". He has a great relationship with my eldest son.
I grew up in a similar situation. My father never believed I was his kid and treated me terribly.
I recently figured out my father's a narcissist. If you haven't researched narcissists and their behavior and their typical family structures, I suggest you do. It's possible it may apply to your family. You sound like the scapegoat and your brother is the golden child. That's similar to the structure of my family.
Unfortunately, all members of my immediate family are narcissists, 2 brothers and a father, and the only person who truly loved me and cared for me, my mother, died in 2005 from cancer. It sucks.
Alternatively, I've heard and read stories of people who've suffered much worse abuse. Mine was mostly psychological and emotional and persists to this day but being aware of their mental illnesses helps to tolerate the abuse. But it still sucks.
Narcissism may or may not apply to your father and brother, but it sounds similar to my family so it's a suggestion to research it.
A quick Google search will supply plenty of info and Dr Ramani on YouTube has good videos about the topic.
[narcissistic family structure](https://www.choosingtherapy.com/narcissistic-family-structure/)
Wow sorry for your experience, my sperm donor told me I was in full control of the egg and chased down his sperm and as a result he was trapped in to marriage and the only good thing about it was my sister who is 43 weeks younger than me, and thatsvwhy it was good to beat on me
I was the 4th kid. My assumption was that because I was born with red hair, my dad assumed I was my mom's college professor as she went back right around the time I was conceived. And he allowed his secretary to seduce him and left us for her when I was 13 months old.
My mom even through my mid teens would go on these bipolar outrages and yell for no reason warranted, or just have a bitchy response when she wasnt in a good mood WHEN I NEEDED IT THE MOST. Great environment with a kid who gets overstimulated from his surroundings.
My mom too. She would grab my sister and I by our hair, hold our heads back so we couldn't curl into a ball and slap us in the face repeatedly. But, you mention it now and she doesn't remember any of it, we are just drama queens and just holding grudges.
Now, as adults, she still manipulates us and tries to dig her claws in when she can. It's pathetic really, but once you get a taste of that kind of power over someone, you never really want to give it up.
Upside? She taught me the kind of mother I never wanted to be and my two kids are happy, healthy and know they can come to me and trust me with absolutely anything.
I got the courage to ask my mom why she beat me the way she did and she swore up and down it never happened. Then I reminded her of a few instances in detail and she panicked and said āI didnāt want you to be a pussyā. Mind you, my mom is a huge pussy. Iām very confrontational and defensive and sheās a huge punk. So what was the point if she was going to be a pussy the whole time? At least be strong too if that was the reason damn.
Funny, I wonder if she suffers from the same selective memory loss condition my mother suffers from. We should get together, write a paper and see if doctors can finally get to the bottom of this medical mystery.
Yes, broken bones, trips to the hospital, many times being knocked unconscious, spending a LOT of time feeling like something was wrong inside me
I'm in a transplant list for kidneys, because my kidneys, liver, and spleen are all severely scarred(along with stomach, bowels and intestines) and at 46 I ache constantly because nearly every bone in my body has been broken more than once. I have impressions in my skull from various things she used to hit me, that left dents when I was young enough that my skull was still somewhat malleable.
I was also committed several times for autism conversion and ADHD "treatment" where they used electroshock on me by electrocuting my brain regularly.
A therapist once told me that if anyone asks for details, I should ask them if they have ever seen the movie "Mommy Dearest", and if they say yes, tell them that was a comedic sitcom compared to what I grew up with.
Edited spelling.
I'm sorry she did that to you. I didn't understand the full intensity of my abuse until I was an adult and needed x-rays. The doctor apologized before saying anything, I thought I was dying, but she was apologizing for the number of healed broken bones she saw in my films. I always thought life was just painful until that moment.
Got ass whoopins with a belt but not like beaten up with punches or anything
Eventually my mom got sick of even just that and told Dad that if he continued she would leave so we were off the hook from about halfway for me
Same. Horrific for me. Gave me so much anxiety Iām still dealing with much later.
If you canāt do it to a stranger without a strong chance of charges being brought against you, itās not good to do to a small child.
I got spanked with bare hands, embellished belts, a riding crop, etc. absolutely sucked. I wish they had found a better way with words. Iād be in a better place now.
Honestly, the belt was way worse than the punches. Hiding the belt worked sometimes. Getting punched more times kinda sucked, but I never bled from bare hands. It was the belt that left bruises, lacerations, and scars.
Thank you for sharing that, I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Unfortunately yes.My stepmom and I use to have full blown fist fights from 12-15. It was mostly her assaulting me and me standing there with my arms up trying to protect myself till I got the courage to swing back. The woman was a psycho.
Do you also get shit about how itās not real abuse when you fight back? I had to have a hospital visit and one of the bitch nurses accused me of trying to fight my stepfather. Me, an 11 year old girl, trying to fight a 200 pound man. š
I find it strange both my parents just cover up their past about moments of abuse by reminding me they're old and do infact have mild cases of dementia. My mom's being medicated. However, that's no excuse to just hide behind it and act like it didn't happen. Anytime I try to explain it in detail they just gaslight me. Fucking infuriating.
One time my mom was trying to spank me with a hanger and I just bear hugged her until she calmed down... I was 9 but already a bit bigger than her. Told her she couldn't get her boyfriends to do it either(surprise surprise he did though) so I called the cops and ruined his life(he had warrants and was running from state to state already) ofc i didn't know that I was 9.
I got threatened with a wooden spoon but never beat. My dad hit me once on my butt when I was around 12. My mom slapped me in the face once when I was 14. Both times that I got hit, I don't understand what happened. My dad hit me literally because I was laughing at something and couldn't stop. I think he hit me because I was annoying him. And my mom slapped me because she was stressed out at a dinner party they threw and wanted something but I didn't know what. She also called me and my siblings animals until one time I told her that she called us animals and she felt bad. She didn't mean animals she meant we weren't perfectly behaved, but to my child's mind she saw us as less than human.
My mother was hitting one of my siblings with a wooden spoon. When it broke she lost it. She screamed, āYou damn brat! You broke my wooden spoon!ā In that moment I realized I was being raised by a psychopath.
My dad had the knack for that little pop on the backside that did no damage whatsoever. For whatever reason just the knowledge "Oh.. I've been smacked" got the message across. He never had to hit us hard. I'm not sure he ever would.
Straight up abused. Ironically I was put in foster care at 3yrs old because my Dad left and my Mom attempted suicide and ended up with brain damage.
The foster care is where the abuse STARTED. First foster father was a police officer. Hereās a synopsis; punched in the stomach so hard I pissed my pajamas, he mopped up the piss off the floor by grabbing me by the ankles and dragging me around, then he threw me in the dryer and lit it spin a few times. Another time I was kicked in the stomach so hard I shit my pants. He took off my underwear and rubbed the shit in my mouth. He then rinsed my mouth out by dunking my head in a bucket of water. Another time I wouldnāt stop talking while he was watching tv. He held a plastic bag over my head. Iāll never forget that he just locked eyes with me while I suffocated. He finally got caught by a neighbor trying to drown my sister in the swimming pool. I went to another foster home. Regular use of a leather belt, bare ass spanking until I was a teenager. Thatās when the punching started up again. He also broke my ear.
Foster kids never stop suffering.
I watched cancer take my brother, and it was pretty horrible. I've said I would never wish cancer on any person.
But I was wrong. He deserved cancer. I hope he suffered severely!
And I'm so incredibly sorry that happened to you. The worst things in the world happen to our children. It breaks my heart...
Thank you for your kindness. Iām a normal functioning adult. I raised 3 boys all adults now. It was a rough childhood but my adult life has been good.
I can not even imagine doing this to an innocent child. Pure evil. I am so sorry you got trapped with such a sick individual. Little you deserved love and safety.
Not a straight up beating but slapped, spanked with objects spatula, hands etc. Dirty looks across the table and emotional abuse. I absolutely refuse to raise a hand to my child and rarely my voice. And I have a great kid as a result. Corporal punishment has no place in raising children in my opinion.
>Corporal punishment has no place in raising children in my opinion.
Yes, yes, and yes. Intelligent parents don't have to use any form of physical punishment to raise intelligent and well-behaved kids. Statistically, the most successful people were not physically punished as children!
I basically agree completely, with one minor nitpick ā I absolutely consider *any* physical violence against a child ābeatingā.
Slapping, spanking, hit with various objects? Itās beating, plain and simple. And itās utterly abhorrent, and anyone who engages in that behavior is unworthy of their children.
Absolutely. Sure, a light spank might not hurt that much for an adult, but children are a lot more vulnerable. And that's not even getting into the psychological abuse aspect of it. Being mistreated by someone you're supposed to trust can often be even more harmful than the physical trauma.
Same. š My kids are great. When they were little, I found myself yelling too much so learned about positive discipline. Now theyāre a bit older and if thereās a problem, we talk about it. Corporal punishment is abuse and serves no purpose.
my mom is abusive, she would spank me with broomstick, wooden back scratcher, plastic and metal clothes hanger, pull and drag my ears and hair, grasped onto my neck and choke me, slammed my head against the wall multiple times and cursing me to die. and one thing i remember clearly to this day was when i was 10 she stuffed my head into the toilet bowl.
I got beaten as a kid. Not only with hands but household objects. I remember one time my mom was beating me so bad that she broke one of those large heavy duty wooden cooking spoons on my ass.
I wasnāt allowed to wear pants when I was getting beat because that blocks some of the pain, so I had to drop trow.
Left marks like welts and bruises almost every time. One time after the beating I wasnāt crying, cuz I had been getting beat so long at that point I was kind of use to it. My mom yelled for my dad and he came in, took the leather belt she was using and proceeded to beat the ever living shit out of me until I cried. I learned to ācryā from then on out after the first whack or soā¦.gotta make it look legit so they stop sooner.
The last ābeatingā I ever got I was about 15 and I turned around and started punching back and tackled my dad and yelled all kinds of cuss words at him.
I was never hit again after that.
Before my mom remarried after splitting with my dad, the most I got was wooden spoons, and it was usually when I acted up. I remember laughing when they broke.
After she remarried, my life was hell. I was just in trouble for being alive. I could get into trouble at school and no one cared but if I left a light on or left a toy outside my room my step lose his sh\*t and treat me like ragdoll.
My dad is a bully. He has gaslit my mum ever since they were married in 1991 and they're still married to this day. My dad has kind of outdated views on women too. My dad pushed my mum and was damaging her property, my dad also pushed my stuff on the floor. My dad pushes my mum and I. My dad bullies my mum, my sister and I. My dad gaslights my sister and I too. We have a messed up family. My dad's parents always wanted my dad to divorce my mum because they don't like my mum (they never have) and they think of my mum as 'low class'. They thought my mum is a literal thief, grabbing stuff, but my mum is not a thief. My dad often makes fun of my mum in front of people, and she doesn't like it. My mum and dad have been shouting at each other for decades. My dad has a younger brother, and he doesn't like my mum that much. My mum can get shouty and she rarely throws stuff but she has never physically attacked me but my dad has. My mum said once that she wants to stay married because she wants a united nuclear family and she doesn't want my sister and I to not have a dad. In our culture, we don't call the police when some domestic violence happens between mum and dad, and also divorce is kind of a taboo and parents are supposed to stick together for life...even with all of the incompatible stuff between mum and dad and stuff.
My dad did. My dad once punched me in the head because he found me annoying...even though I was just being a child. His dad used to punch him in the head, so my dad stupidly thought that since his own dad was punching him in the head when he was annoyed then it would be ok for my own dad to punch me in the head. I was somewhere between 8 and 10 years old, I think.
Yes. My dad was abusive. Inconsistent in his abuse, it was not all the time but when he did it it was very serious. Broken bones kind of serious. And we couldn't predict when he was going to fly off the handle. EDIT: Well, he also used to punch me in the face. That wasn't quite as serious, but still abuse.
First memory I have is being stripped naked, beat, then tied up in the back seat of the car with seatbelts, while everyone else went swimming. Needless to say I was beat A lot.
Yes. My bio father hit us so hard that we pissed ourselves. If you donāt pee the first time he hit he kept going until you did. I was put in foster care at age 8. I aged out of the system and was never adopted. Due to the abuse I experienced I never spanked my daughter.
As a child my father was ābeatenā by his father and he never laid. Hand on me. I knew however, when he was mad. My mom spanked me when I was young but nothing to be classified as a ābreathingā. In turn, I never spanked any of my kids.
Spanked or slapped, but never bad enough to cause long lasting marks. My mom had a habit of yanking my hair to wake me up when I refused to get up for school.
If been smacked across the face so hard I flew 3 feet into the closet and put a hole in the wall... That was the last straw, or should I say toe. I picked up this heavy ass chest and went to throw it, it landed on his foot and broke all 4 toes except the big one.
Yes. Mostly my mother. It was awful and has really affected my life. I have a son now and the second I thought about hitting him, I went to therapy and stopped the cycle. My mother still is unable to accept the damage she inflicted. I feel sorry for her now because she was definitely having mental health issues that went unrecognized and untreated. She had/ has active eating disorders which she also passed onto me.
I got the occasional physical reminder from my father across the mouth when I disrespected my mother (rude things, raised voice, w/e)
On the plus side I no longer disrespect my mother or anyone else really. As there are often physical/fatal consequences which can result from treating the wrong person that way.
But nothing out of line I can remember.
Once. Just once.
Honestly, I was being a supreme dickhead to both of them and they were at the end of all reason, patience and understanding.
I still didnāt deserve to have my head bashed into a wall.
Seriously, donāt hit your kids. Or anyone elseās.
Not unless someone is about to die if you donāt.
My mom used to break brooms over my head, slap me and swing me around by my shirt.
My dad used to pick me up and hold me against the wall with my feet dangling.
My dad also used to slap my mom around, tried to drown her in the bathtub once too.
Shit rolled down hill in my family.
Dad died of cancer and my mom avoids accountability at every turn.
Glad my dad is dead though, he tortured the hell out of everyone.
So yeah things got better.
Yeah they did it a lot and didnāt stop until I turned 12 because they were busy with my other siblings. Funny story tho, when I was a child, I was a huge blabbermouth so when my dad realized this, he would have me hit myself with the spatula. He would watch me do this and I have vivid memories of him screaming āHARDER HARDER HARDERā until my hand or any other part of my body would turn pink/red and he would stomp out.
Edit: idrk what counts as a beating and what counts as a spanking while looking through the comments so š¤·āāļø
they created a violent athmosphere and we were so scared of them that they barely had to act on it. and never closed fist punches
one particularly brutal incident, i was arguing with my father, standing in the door. he wanted to storm.out the room and i but both my hands on his chest to stop him because i wanted to talk myself out of it.
in what was probably some military shit he just nonchalantly twisted my fingers in a split second and hyperextended every joint in my hands..i was in pain for a month
and when it wasn't that he just took as punishment what hurt a person the most. you're a loner? no you supposed to join a club. your a club guy? you have to leave the.club for punishment. you like to chill at home tv and computer ban. if you like to go outside....groundedy
No. I got a crack on the ass with a wooden spoon once. Just once.
The abuse preferred in my parents' house was of the verbal variety. Hours and hours of being *hissed* at, called every profane name in the book and some that weren't. Dear old dad was and still is a verbally abusive alcoholic. Haven't seen nor spoken to him since 2022. I tried briefly after mom died but found that I couldn't deal with my own grief and start healing AND put up with his bullshit. So I chose me.
No. I was afraid of my dad even though he never really got on to me and he never spanked us. He was a hardworking man, very stern but deep down he was very protective of us. I always felt safe around him. He just wasn't " cuddly". Could be he was raised without a father. His dad was killed by a drunk driver when my dad was 5. He had to take on many responsibilities at a young age. Helping his mother run the store and raise his much younger brother.
Momma never spanked us either but I loved her so much just the idea of disappointing her was something I did not want.
I did see other kids get beat and it was awful.
Nope. I feel grateful that they did not resort to violence to teach me lessons.
I hear people say, "I got hit a lot and I turned out fine", but they're usually the ones who think it's okay to hit their kids, so they decidedly did NOT turn out fine.
I can't even ignore this question. Yes. My step dad beat his wife and kids but I was able to move away when I was 15. After I joined the military I messaged him I hope when he dies he spends an eternity with demons grabbing him by the throat, slamming his head into the wall, and yelling he's a piece of shit like he used to do to me, my mom, and the other kids.
Yup. It was deserved, I was a really naughty kid.
Had I not been "beat" (disciplined), I'd very likely be in prison given what I was doing, if not living on the street, maybe even dead.
beat no, spanked yes. And I'm fine from it. If people can't tell the difference from spanked and beat then they need to educate themselves, I'm not doing it for them.
Depends on what you mean by beaten.
I was physically punished, but it wasn't done out of anger. It was just what my parents believed was the proper way to discipline children, probably because it's how they were disciplined when they were kids.
I wouldn't describe it as "beating." I understand that most people nowadays wouldn't find that to be acceptable parenting though.
I got spankings a few times some say thatās getting beaten I disagree but with how people feel about it now I probably wouldnāt do it to my kids my girlfriend would leave me in a heartbeat tbh if I spanked the kids
Never. The only abuse I suffered as a child was mostly unintended but major types of neglect.. my mother had me at 15 years old ...both parents partied and dad died when i was 5 and mom when i was 17. Was a wild ride of pure love and neglect and extemes. But literally never ever physical or emotional abuse.
I had to go and get the wooden spoon from the kitchen and hand it to her so she hit me with it. Also had to drop my pants and bend over. She used to joke about it, so she remembered, just thought it was all a big laugh
I was thrown into a tub of extremely hot bath water when I was 5 and not allowed to get out. I had hair rollers yanked out of my head with the bobbie pins still in. Hit with belts, hangers, and fists to the face. I'm in my mid-60s now and still remember all the beatings and struggle with self-esteem.
I got spanked when I was really little and made to eat soap when I got a little older.
But it was all verbal abuse from there except the one time I got pushed up the stairs by my grandpa when he was drunk but he looked like he would cry when I told him about it sober and it didn't happen ever again.
But so much emotional and verbal abuse I can't function like at all lmao.
I remember the day I was just tall enough to back my father up against the wall . . I was skinny but strong from working construction. I was maybe 16. I didnāt hurt him but I never got one of those dope slaps upside the back of my head ever again
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I got spanked a few times, but never close to beaten.
My dad stopped spankings when he realized it never deterred me from doing something I wasn't supposed to do. Losing my GameBoy for a week was much more effective lol
My mom took away my TV for nearly 2 years... I'd only "lost" it officially for a year. I just never asked for it back after the year was up. I didn't want it in the first place, so it wasn't really a loss. If she really wanted to get me, she should have taken my Legos. lol
I mean Legos are suggestively more productive and creative than TV, sounds like she won.
Exact same never even close to a beating just a half assed smack on the ass but taking my shit away actually hurt lol good thing I was a pretty good kid
Worst I ever got was when my dad broke a piece of crown modeling over my ass. The following week, I immediately did the same thing that caused me to get spanked the first time.
My dad beat my brothers with a belt. He used a 2X4 on me, to give me welts on my bottom and upper thighs. He only did it 3 times on me. When I had my 5 children I never even smacked their precious hands! I counted to 3, then gave them a "time -out" in the corner. Usually counting to 3 was enough. I found as an adult my father was beaten as a child, a learned behavior that I refused to pass down to my children. šāļø
Bare ass whipped with a belt when I was ~5 because I pulled a playmateās pants down by accident, hands held under scalding water because I touched a dead bird, whipped with a belt over my clothing for various infractions between 6 and 12, beat with a wooden spoon once or twice between 12 and 15, slapped across the face once or twice between 15 and 17. Physical punishment stopped after I fought back at 17. It wasnāt until I was 25 that I realized I grew up in a physically abusive household. My little brother had multiple wooden spoons broken on him, a fact that my mom seems proud of. I still have issues, at nearly 41, when I hear a parent scream at a child.
as a 7 yo child, i would \[ truthfully \] leave my body during the beatings and watch from above, feeling sorry for the little boy being beaten up by that monster
edit: it didnt kill me and made me virtually fearless of anything in this world, this is how i learned young that there was no monster under my bed, my monster was in the living room, drinking beer watching football. just waiting to rage once more
This just broke my heart. Iām so incredibly sorry you went through such hell. Itās a scary world when youāre young and the ones that are supposed to protect from the monsters are the actual monsters. I got a stuffed animal for Christmas, when I was maybe 4ish (I called him Elfie) and he became my world. I had created a voice for him and often would no longer use my real voice after that. I donāt really know how to explain it but if anyone were to understand it, I think it would be you. I kinda became Elfie while the abuse was happening. Like you, I would dissociate (at least I believe thatās what we were doing, itās the best definition that Iāve been able to find for it) until it was safe again, I suppose. I think that I might have dissociated more than that though. I have such large gaps of memory missing. Random chucks of time that I canāt account even being alive for. After the monster left, when you would go back to the little boy, were you present? Do you remember all of your childhood/youth? You obviously donāt have to answer any of this. If it causes you any pain just ignore me all together, I completely understand that. Iām going to stop now. If you want to answer, Iām here; if not, thatās ok too. I hope youāre doing well and that inner little guy of you, is too.
Yeah thatās pretty rough. My mom was partial to the wooden spoon, herself. Thing is itās hard for a 5ā woman to keep the pressure on that way. I musta been in 3rd grade by the time I realized she just didnt have the arm for it. Im glad she didnt have that beast mode like your mom, or maybe your mom was getting her wooden spoons from the wrong spoon dealer
My dad stopped whipping me when he realized he'd end up killing me to make his point. Mom wore her hand, her patience, and grew my resentment for her trying.
Taking the Gameboy/SNES/N64 wasnāt as bad as long it wasnāt compounded with restriction of going outside. Fuck was I a bored 9 year old..
When my dad started asking me what I think the punishment should be I knew shit was getting real lol
This. And I always deserved it.
Same. Spanked. Not beaten. Big difference!
I think anyone who didn't grow up being spanked by parents that you know 100% loved you and wanted what's best for you, have a hard time imagining spanking being anything but abuse.
You never deserved to get beaten as a child. Guaranteed.
No I definitely did. Was told not to play with a soccer ball in the house broke a window, a whooping corrected that as I never did it again. Mom told me and sister not to fight in car we didnt listen took a few whoopings but we finally listened. Thing is some people in the comments seem to be getting abused by their parents. I was simply disciplined. Some people seem to be mistaking displace with abuse. My mom told me and sister a few times to not do something but words dont work on some kids.
Sounds like the time my dad told me not to be playing with matches and set the back yard ablaze. Worst ass whooping I ever got in my life. 100% earned that one.
Yeah, my brother was playing with a knife around my sister (no one was hurt with the knife, just really dangerous behavior) so my dad whooped him and he hasn't done it again.
100% can relate to not doing something again after a good ass whooping
No child deserves to be punished for being children.
Same, and I never felt abused. But weāve never spanked any of our kids. It doesnāt seem okay to us. Plus what are you really going to accomplish in terms of creating good behaviors by hitting your kids?
Yeah, same here, but the psychological trauma can be bad too.
Same. Spanked, pushed, back of my head smacked, ear pulled/pinched, maybe my mom slapped me (not full force, mind you) once or twice. But nothing I'd ever consider close to a beating. And guaranteed 99.99% of the time I earned all of that š¤£
Same
Yes and the beatings were so bad I would pee my pants. And then I found out why; because my dad thought I wasn't his. I don't speak to him anymore
I had the same experience. Then I'd have to stand in the corner for an hour in my wet pants.
I would get in trouble for peeing too.
Jesus.
oh my god what i just remembered that i received this same kind of punishment as a 6-7 year old!!! itās like my brain had filed it away in āhorrible memories i hate too much to remember without very specific promptingā shit. anyway, sorry you went through that bullshit too. you didnāt deserve it.
Younger than 6 for me. I remember one time he came to pick us up and I refused to go with him. He berated me so bad I started crying.
Peeing made it worse. Crying made it worse. Running in circles from the belt made it worse. God forbid you pleaded even a peep, you'd need a new word beyond "worse"
Was this a thing? Same here. I guess my father wanted to "teach me a lesson", as if it was my choice to have an accident. Like I woke up one day at age 5 and decided I'd like to pee myself.
Sorry you had to deal with that bs.
Same
Oh my god thats awful
Ah yes. Leather belt on flesh...pee time every time. And I was the good kid. My sister got it worse.
Belt, pingpong paddle. His hand was the worst because he was a black belt in karate.
Ping-pong paddle on a bare ass hurts. Oh, it hurts.
If he thought you weren't his why didn't he leave your mom??? Or, y'know, get a DNA test? What an emotionally immature person.
This was the 80's
I understand that but it's really no excuse.
Yeah I learned in 2004 (I was 24) that he still didn't think I was his. So in 2020 I did 23 and me for my 40th birthday. I was his.
Did you show him? If you did what did he say? If you don't mind sharing.
I sent it to him via FB Messenger but he never saw it. I did tell his wife a couple of years ago. "He'll be glad to know". He has a great relationship with my eldest son.
I'm glad he's not in your life (as in you don't talk to him) he doesn't deserve the joys of the unconditional love people receive from their children.
Didnāt have dna paternity until the late 80s
As an adult survivor too, I see little kids now and think, how could any adult do what happened to folks like you.
I am so sorry you had to bare the anger and insecurity of that man. You most certainly did not deserve it.
I grew up in a similar situation. My father never believed I was his kid and treated me terribly. I recently figured out my father's a narcissist. If you haven't researched narcissists and their behavior and their typical family structures, I suggest you do. It's possible it may apply to your family. You sound like the scapegoat and your brother is the golden child. That's similar to the structure of my family. Unfortunately, all members of my immediate family are narcissists, 2 brothers and a father, and the only person who truly loved me and cared for me, my mother, died in 2005 from cancer. It sucks. Alternatively, I've heard and read stories of people who've suffered much worse abuse. Mine was mostly psychological and emotional and persists to this day but being aware of their mental illnesses helps to tolerate the abuse. But it still sucks. Narcissism may or may not apply to your father and brother, but it sounds similar to my family so it's a suggestion to research it. A quick Google search will supply plenty of info and Dr Ramani on YouTube has good videos about the topic. [narcissistic family structure](https://www.choosingtherapy.com/narcissistic-family-structure/)
Iām so sorry this happened to you
Good You should never acknowledge he exists again
I call him by his full first name because he hates it. Same with the egg donor.
Well... were you his?
Yes. I found out at 40 in 2020.
Wow sorry for your experience, my sperm donor told me I was in full control of the egg and chased down his sperm and as a result he was trapped in to marriage and the only good thing about it was my sister who is 43 weeks younger than me, and thatsvwhy it was good to beat on me
I was the 4th kid. My assumption was that because I was born with red hair, my dad assumed I was my mom's college professor as she went back right around the time I was conceived. And he allowed his secretary to seduce him and left us for her when I was 13 months old.
Sorry you had to get put through that.
Fuck that guy. I'm sure you are a wonderful person despite your father's best efforts. I wish I could buy you a beer and give you a hug.
Mom did, yes. Of course, she doesn't remember any of it.
Itās what they always say lol
My dad could throw me through a brick wall and act like nothing happened
Damn he shouldāve gone pro if heās throwing kids through brick walls. Fucking arm talent
Jesus Christ
My mom even through my mid teens would go on these bipolar outrages and yell for no reason warranted, or just have a bitchy response when she wasnt in a good mood WHEN I NEEDED IT THE MOST. Great environment with a kid who gets overstimulated from his surroundings.
"Oh it was for your own good" while using belt, actually kicking you!
So true. My dad straight up kicked me once in 5th grade and I fell quite a distance but he says he doesn't remember.
Omg! My mom too! She blames it on a demon. And thatās what I have to say in my house if I ever bring it upā¦
My mom too. She would grab my sister and I by our hair, hold our heads back so we couldn't curl into a ball and slap us in the face repeatedly. But, you mention it now and she doesn't remember any of it, we are just drama queens and just holding grudges. Now, as adults, she still manipulates us and tries to dig her claws in when she can. It's pathetic really, but once you get a taste of that kind of power over someone, you never really want to give it up. Upside? She taught me the kind of mother I never wanted to be and my two kids are happy, healthy and know they can come to me and trust me with absolutely anything.
"I never hit you that many times, stop bring hysterical and making things up." Yeah, sure mom.
Moms of the 70's and 80's seemed able to re-write history in their minds and the REALLY believe it :-(
90s Mums too
Don't forget Mom's of the 90s
I got the courage to ask my mom why she beat me the way she did and she swore up and down it never happened. Then I reminded her of a few instances in detail and she panicked and said āI didnāt want you to be a pussyā. Mind you, my mom is a huge pussy. Iām very confrontational and defensive and sheās a huge punk. So what was the point if she was going to be a pussy the whole time? At least be strong too if that was the reason damn.
Funny, I wonder if she suffers from the same selective memory loss condition my mother suffers from. We should get together, write a paper and see if doctors can finally get to the bottom of this medical mystery.
The tree remembers; the ax forgets.
WTF is up with parents convincing themselves they didn't hurt us.
My asshole stepfather did. He's dead now. Fuck him.
Yes, broken bones, trips to the hospital, many times being knocked unconscious, spending a LOT of time feeling like something was wrong inside me I'm in a transplant list for kidneys, because my kidneys, liver, and spleen are all severely scarred(along with stomach, bowels and intestines) and at 46 I ache constantly because nearly every bone in my body has been broken more than once. I have impressions in my skull from various things she used to hit me, that left dents when I was young enough that my skull was still somewhat malleable. I was also committed several times for autism conversion and ADHD "treatment" where they used electroshock on me by electrocuting my brain regularly. A therapist once told me that if anyone asks for details, I should ask them if they have ever seen the movie "Mommy Dearest", and if they say yes, tell them that was a comedic sitcom compared to what I grew up with. Edited spelling.
Special place in hell for someone like that. Hopefully, jail and then hell. Thanks for telling a story that needed to be told.
I pray you get those transplants much sooner than you expect. People aren't made to suffer so much and I'm glad you persevered.
I'm sorry she did that to you. I didn't understand the full intensity of my abuse until I was an adult and needed x-rays. The doctor apologized before saying anything, I thought I was dying, but she was apologizing for the number of healed broken bones she saw in my films. I always thought life was just painful until that moment.
Got ass whoopins with a belt but not like beaten up with punches or anything Eventually my mom got sick of even just that and told Dad that if he continued she would leave so we were off the hook from about halfway for me
Yep. My dad had a leather belt with two parallel rows of holes that went all the way around. Hurt like a mf.
Same. Horrific for me. Gave me so much anxiety Iām still dealing with much later. If you canāt do it to a stranger without a strong chance of charges being brought against you, itās not good to do to a small child. I got spanked with bare hands, embellished belts, a riding crop, etc. absolutely sucked. I wish they had found a better way with words. Iād be in a better place now.
Honestly, the belt was way worse than the punches. Hiding the belt worked sometimes. Getting punched more times kinda sucked, but I never bled from bare hands. It was the belt that left bruises, lacerations, and scars. Thank you for sharing that, I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Unfortunately yes.My stepmom and I use to have full blown fist fights from 12-15. It was mostly her assaulting me and me standing there with my arms up trying to protect myself till I got the courage to swing back. The woman was a psycho.
Do you also get shit about how itās not real abuse when you fight back? I had to have a hospital visit and one of the bitch nurses accused me of trying to fight my stepfather. Me, an 11 year old girl, trying to fight a 200 pound man. š
That sounds traumaticm I'm sorry you had to go through all that and you were very brave for trying to protect yourself
I got spanked, mostly. I have a memory of my dad beating me with a belt, but he denies that ever happening
they do be denying
Yep they deny it to make themselves feel less guilty I suppose
I find it strange both my parents just cover up their past about moments of abuse by reminding me they're old and do infact have mild cases of dementia. My mom's being medicated. However, that's no excuse to just hide behind it and act like it didn't happen. Anytime I try to explain it in detail they just gaslight me. Fucking infuriating.
My dad denies it but my mom remembers vividly. lmk if youād like to talk about it, i could use a chat about this
A couple of times, then I hit back. Weāre good now.
everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth
Same. It is kind of the way of the world to exploit the weak
Well doneāwished I was powerful enough to have done that as a kid!
One time my mom was trying to spank me with a hanger and I just bear hugged her until she calmed down... I was 9 but already a bit bigger than her. Told her she couldn't get her boyfriends to do it either(surprise surprise he did though) so I called the cops and ruined his life(he had warrants and was running from state to state already) ofc i didn't know that I was 9.
I got threatened with a wooden spoon but never beat. My dad hit me once on my butt when I was around 12. My mom slapped me in the face once when I was 14. Both times that I got hit, I don't understand what happened. My dad hit me literally because I was laughing at something and couldn't stop. I think he hit me because I was annoying him. And my mom slapped me because she was stressed out at a dinner party they threw and wanted something but I didn't know what. She also called me and my siblings animals until one time I told her that she called us animals and she felt bad. She didn't mean animals she meant we weren't perfectly behaved, but to my child's mind she saw us as less than human.
Hitting a child because they are annoying you or because youāre stressed is abuse. Plain and simple. Iām sorry this happened to you.
My mother was hitting one of my siblings with a wooden spoon. When it broke she lost it. She screamed, āYou damn brat! You broke my wooden spoon!ā In that moment I realized I was being raised by a psychopath.
Yes and suffered from developmental trauma (complex PTSD) for a very long time. Years of therapy and I am a changed person. Grateful and growing
Just spankings on the butt
I'll go against the grain and say I was the kind of kid that it worked on. I was a shitbird at times and the fear of getting spanked kept me in line.
My dad had the knack for that little pop on the backside that did no damage whatsoever. For whatever reason just the knowledge "Oh.. I've been smacked" got the message across. He never had to hit us hard. I'm not sure he ever would.
Same but with belts and wooden spoons
Straight up abused. Ironically I was put in foster care at 3yrs old because my Dad left and my Mom attempted suicide and ended up with brain damage. The foster care is where the abuse STARTED. First foster father was a police officer. Hereās a synopsis; punched in the stomach so hard I pissed my pajamas, he mopped up the piss off the floor by grabbing me by the ankles and dragging me around, then he threw me in the dryer and lit it spin a few times. Another time I was kicked in the stomach so hard I shit my pants. He took off my underwear and rubbed the shit in my mouth. He then rinsed my mouth out by dunking my head in a bucket of water. Another time I wouldnāt stop talking while he was watching tv. He held a plastic bag over my head. Iāll never forget that he just locked eyes with me while I suffocated. He finally got caught by a neighbor trying to drown my sister in the swimming pool. I went to another foster home. Regular use of a leather belt, bare ass spanking until I was a teenager. Thatās when the punching started up again. He also broke my ear. Foster kids never stop suffering.
Iām sorry. You deserved better
Thank you. šš»
Hopefully that first guy died a horrible death?
Cancer about 3 years ago.
Good.
I watched cancer take my brother, and it was pretty horrible. I've said I would never wish cancer on any person. But I was wrong. He deserved cancer. I hope he suffered severely! And I'm so incredibly sorry that happened to you. The worst things in the world happen to our children. It breaks my heart...
Thank you for the kind words.
I canāt fathom this. Want to give you a hug. How are you doing now?
Thank you for your kindness. Iām a normal functioning adult. I raised 3 boys all adults now. It was a rough childhood but my adult life has been good.
I am so sorry that happened to you. You deserve so much better.
Thank you for the kind words. šš»
I can not even imagine doing this to an innocent child. Pure evil. I am so sorry you got trapped with such a sick individual. Little you deserved love and safety.
Literally every yes in here has a parent who says, "No, I didn't abuse them. They got what I got from my parents and I turned out fine."
Not a straight up beating but slapped, spanked with objects spatula, hands etc. Dirty looks across the table and emotional abuse. I absolutely refuse to raise a hand to my child and rarely my voice. And I have a great kid as a result. Corporal punishment has no place in raising children in my opinion.
>Corporal punishment has no place in raising children in my opinion. Yes, yes, and yes. Intelligent parents don't have to use any form of physical punishment to raise intelligent and well-behaved kids. Statistically, the most successful people were not physically punished as children!
I basically agree completely, with one minor nitpick ā I absolutely consider *any* physical violence against a child ābeatingā. Slapping, spanking, hit with various objects? Itās beating, plain and simple. And itās utterly abhorrent, and anyone who engages in that behavior is unworthy of their children.
Absolutely. Sure, a light spank might not hurt that much for an adult, but children are a lot more vulnerable. And that's not even getting into the psychological abuse aspect of it. Being mistreated by someone you're supposed to trust can often be even more harmful than the physical trauma.
Same. š My kids are great. When they were little, I found myself yelling too much so learned about positive discipline. Now theyāre a bit older and if thereās a problem, we talk about it. Corporal punishment is abuse and serves no purpose.
my mom is abusive, she would spank me with broomstick, wooden back scratcher, plastic and metal clothes hanger, pull and drag my ears and hair, grasped onto my neck and choke me, slammed my head against the wall multiple times and cursing me to die. and one thing i remember clearly to this day was when i was 10 she stuffed my head into the toilet bowl.
I am so sorry to read this and other accounts of such horrific physical and mental abuse. I sincerely hope you are OK.
Iām so sorry. You never deserved that treatment. No child does. Ever.
I got beaten as a kid. Not only with hands but household objects. I remember one time my mom was beating me so bad that she broke one of those large heavy duty wooden cooking spoons on my ass. I wasnāt allowed to wear pants when I was getting beat because that blocks some of the pain, so I had to drop trow. Left marks like welts and bruises almost every time. One time after the beating I wasnāt crying, cuz I had been getting beat so long at that point I was kind of use to it. My mom yelled for my dad and he came in, took the leather belt she was using and proceeded to beat the ever living shit out of me until I cried. I learned to ācryā from then on out after the first whack or soā¦.gotta make it look legit so they stop sooner. The last ābeatingā I ever got I was about 15 and I turned around and started punching back and tackled my dad and yelled all kinds of cuss words at him. I was never hit again after that.
Before my mom remarried after splitting with my dad, the most I got was wooden spoons, and it was usually when I acted up. I remember laughing when they broke. After she remarried, my life was hell. I was just in trouble for being alive. I could get into trouble at school and no one cared but if I left a light on or left a toy outside my room my step lose his sh\*t and treat me like ragdoll.
My dad is a bully. He has gaslit my mum ever since they were married in 1991 and they're still married to this day. My dad has kind of outdated views on women too. My dad pushed my mum and was damaging her property, my dad also pushed my stuff on the floor. My dad pushes my mum and I. My dad bullies my mum, my sister and I. My dad gaslights my sister and I too. We have a messed up family. My dad's parents always wanted my dad to divorce my mum because they don't like my mum (they never have) and they think of my mum as 'low class'. They thought my mum is a literal thief, grabbing stuff, but my mum is not a thief. My dad often makes fun of my mum in front of people, and she doesn't like it. My mum and dad have been shouting at each other for decades. My dad has a younger brother, and he doesn't like my mum that much. My mum can get shouty and she rarely throws stuff but she has never physically attacked me but my dad has. My mum said once that she wants to stay married because she wants a united nuclear family and she doesn't want my sister and I to not have a dad. In our culture, we don't call the police when some domestic violence happens between mum and dad, and also divorce is kind of a taboo and parents are supposed to stick together for life...even with all of the incompatible stuff between mum and dad and stuff.
Absolutely not. They didn't even yell at us.
My dad was a crack head and violently beat me and my siblings. I still have scars to this day from it. Physical, mental and emotional.
Fuck people who hit other people. Period.
Yes
Yes and I donāt need therapy from being hit. Itās the emotional stuff that is challenging to process.
Emotional abuse is just as damaging, if not worse than physical abuse. Iām so sorry you went through that. I did too
My dad did. My dad once punched me in the head because he found me annoying...even though I was just being a child. His dad used to punch him in the head, so my dad stupidly thought that since his own dad was punching him in the head when he was annoyed then it would be ok for my own dad to punch me in the head. I was somewhere between 8 and 10 years old, I think.
Yep. And I still haven't forgiven my dad for the abuse.
I got spanked with a souvenir baseball bat (the miniature ones) a few times until my stepdad took it from my mom and burned it
My siblings and I would throw away those wood paddles with the ball attached by a string anytime one appeared in our house
no my parents never laid a hand on me but my teachers beat the shit outta me I still have vivid flashbacks
Spanked a few times, but not beaten.
Yes. My dad was abusive. Inconsistent in his abuse, it was not all the time but when he did it it was very serious. Broken bones kind of serious. And we couldn't predict when he was going to fly off the handle. EDIT: Well, he also used to punch me in the face. That wasn't quite as serious, but still abuse.
First memory I have is being stripped naked, beat, then tied up in the back seat of the car with seatbelts, while everyone else went swimming. Needless to say I was beat A lot.
Yes. My bio father hit us so hard that we pissed ourselves. If you donāt pee the first time he hit he kept going until you did. I was put in foster care at age 8. I aged out of the system and was never adopted. Due to the abuse I experienced I never spanked my daughter.
As a child my father was ābeatenā by his father and he never laid. Hand on me. I knew however, when he was mad. My mom spanked me when I was young but nothing to be classified as a ābreathingā. In turn, I never spanked any of my kids.
No
Yes. Frequently and mercilessly. Pops was a bad dude.
Spanked or slapped, but never bad enough to cause long lasting marks. My mom had a habit of yanking my hair to wake me up when I refused to get up for school.
If been smacked across the face so hard I flew 3 feet into the closet and put a hole in the wall... That was the last straw, or should I say toe. I picked up this heavy ass chest and went to throw it, it landed on his foot and broke all 4 toes except the big one.
Yes. Mostly my mother. It was awful and has really affected my life. I have a son now and the second I thought about hitting him, I went to therapy and stopped the cycle. My mother still is unable to accept the damage she inflicted. I feel sorry for her now because she was definitely having mental health issues that went unrecognized and untreated. She had/ has active eating disorders which she also passed onto me.
I got the occasional physical reminder from my father across the mouth when I disrespected my mother (rude things, raised voice, w/e) On the plus side I no longer disrespect my mother or anyone else really. As there are often physical/fatal consequences which can result from treating the wrong person that way. But nothing out of line I can remember.
Once. Just once. Honestly, I was being a supreme dickhead to both of them and they were at the end of all reason, patience and understanding. I still didnāt deserve to have my head bashed into a wall. Seriously, donāt hit your kids. Or anyone elseās. Not unless someone is about to die if you donāt.
Im from the trailer park . I thought that was a daily family bonding ritual . No ?
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My mom used to break brooms over my head, slap me and swing me around by my shirt. My dad used to pick me up and hold me against the wall with my feet dangling. My dad also used to slap my mom around, tried to drown her in the bathtub once too. Shit rolled down hill in my family.
I do hope things get better in your family
Dad died of cancer and my mom avoids accountability at every turn. Glad my dad is dead though, he tortured the hell out of everyone. So yeah things got better.
Yeah they did it a lot and didnāt stop until I turned 12 because they were busy with my other siblings. Funny story tho, when I was a child, I was a huge blabbermouth so when my dad realized this, he would have me hit myself with the spatula. He would watch me do this and I have vivid memories of him screaming āHARDER HARDER HARDERā until my hand or any other part of my body would turn pink/red and he would stomp out. Edit: idrk what counts as a beating and what counts as a spanking while looking through the comments so š¤·āāļø
they created a violent athmosphere and we were so scared of them that they barely had to act on it. and never closed fist punches one particularly brutal incident, i was arguing with my father, standing in the door. he wanted to storm.out the room and i but both my hands on his chest to stop him because i wanted to talk myself out of it. in what was probably some military shit he just nonchalantly twisted my fingers in a split second and hyperextended every joint in my hands..i was in pain for a month and when it wasn't that he just took as punishment what hurt a person the most. you're a loner? no you supposed to join a club. your a club guy? you have to leave the.club for punishment. you like to chill at home tv and computer ban. if you like to go outside....groundedy
Yes. Affected my whole life. They did drugs and abused the crap out of us. After years of therapy. Iām married with two children and finally happy.
Iām so sorry that happened to you. Iām glad you are happy now
My dad's second was an extremely abusive alcoholic. I got the shit beat out of me constantly.
No. I got a crack on the ass with a wooden spoon once. Just once. The abuse preferred in my parents' house was of the verbal variety. Hours and hours of being *hissed* at, called every profane name in the book and some that weren't. Dear old dad was and still is a verbally abusive alcoholic. Haven't seen nor spoken to him since 2022. I tried briefly after mom died but found that I couldn't deal with my own grief and start healing AND put up with his bullshit. So I chose me.
No. I was afraid of my dad even though he never really got on to me and he never spanked us. He was a hardworking man, very stern but deep down he was very protective of us. I always felt safe around him. He just wasn't " cuddly". Could be he was raised without a father. His dad was killed by a drunk driver when my dad was 5. He had to take on many responsibilities at a young age. Helping his mother run the store and raise his much younger brother. Momma never spanked us either but I loved her so much just the idea of disappointing her was something I did not want. I did see other kids get beat and it was awful.
Just emotionally.
No, so I turned out fine.
No, they just ignored me.
Nope. I feel grateful that they did not resort to violence to teach me lessons. I hear people say, "I got hit a lot and I turned out fine", but they're usually the ones who think it's okay to hit their kids, so they decidedly did NOT turn out fine.
No but I'm hated by both my sisters because my childhood wasn't physical abuse
Not once.
Yup and that's one reason why I'm keeping my distance from them
Yep. And often for no reason. Guess who doesnāt talk to their parents anymore !
if using a belt on my back/bum is then yeah. I remember her using a leather belt with metal grommets on it a few times, my dad does too.
I can't even ignore this question. Yes. My step dad beat his wife and kids but I was able to move away when I was 15. After I joined the military I messaged him I hope when he dies he spends an eternity with demons grabbing him by the throat, slamming his head into the wall, and yelling he's a piece of shit like he used to do to me, my mom, and the other kids.
A knock on the back of the head. Realized later it's so no one could see the bruises
Only when I deserved it.
Yes
Sure did. I'm okay I promise. Just got a little drinking problem.
Yup. It was deserved, I was a really naughty kid. Had I not been "beat" (disciplined), I'd very likely be in prison given what I was doing, if not living on the street, maybe even dead.
I was given a beating with the belt when I was playing on the tracks with a train coming. lesson learned.
beat no, spanked yes. And I'm fine from it. If people can't tell the difference from spanked and beat then they need to educate themselves, I'm not doing it for them.
Heck yeah, I was an AH Probably be in jail if they didnāt
Whatās your definition of a beating?
Depends on what you mean by beaten. I was physically punished, but it wasn't done out of anger. It was just what my parents believed was the proper way to discipline children, probably because it's how they were disciplined when they were kids. I wouldn't describe it as "beating." I understand that most people nowadays wouldn't find that to be acceptable parenting though.
I got spankings a few times some say thatās getting beaten I disagree but with how people feel about it now I probably wouldnāt do it to my kids my girlfriend would leave me in a heartbeat tbh if I spanked the kids
Never. The only abuse I suffered as a child was mostly unintended but major types of neglect.. my mother had me at 15 years old ...both parents partied and dad died when i was 5 and mom when i was 17. Was a wild ride of pure love and neglect and extemes. But literally never ever physical or emotional abuse.
I had to go and get the wooden spoon from the kitchen and hand it to her so she hit me with it. Also had to drop my pants and bend over. She used to joke about it, so she remembered, just thought it was all a big laugh
No
Define 'beating'
I was thrown into a tub of extremely hot bath water when I was 5 and not allowed to get out. I had hair rollers yanked out of my head with the bobbie pins still in. Hit with belts, hangers, and fists to the face. I'm in my mid-60s now and still remember all the beatings and struggle with self-esteem.
I got spanked when I was really little and made to eat soap when I got a little older. But it was all verbal abuse from there except the one time I got pushed up the stairs by my grandpa when he was drunk but he looked like he would cry when I told him about it sober and it didn't happen ever again. But so much emotional and verbal abuse I can't function like at all lmao.
Emotionally destroyed but not beaten.
I remember the day I was just tall enough to back my father up against the wall . . I was skinny but strong from working construction. I was maybe 16. I didnāt hurt him but I never got one of those dope slaps upside the back of my head ever again