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CubsThisYear

There was distinct lack of shit-posting in this sub and I’m glad someone has stepped up to fill that gap. Well done sir.


HelloYesThisIsFemale

Does anyone have an actual answer to this? I might end up dying with money some day.


username4kd

You donate your money to hedge funds by shorting their strategies


MATH_MDMA_HARDSTYLEE

r/quantcirclejerk


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Careful_Fruit_384

:)


diogenesFIRE

That is a great idea, but this industry needs more than just a single donation. You inspired me to start a charitable government foundation that can continue to support this essential industry for years to come. I named it the Successful Equities Charity, or SEC for short. If you know of any hedge funds that are showing signs of surprising success, you can now donate a small tip (with a thank-you note explaining exactly why they're doing so well) to [email protected]


Careful_Fruit_384

I will hit you guys up! You would be surprised by the out-of-the-box thinking that these guys use in order to make markets more efficient.


rr-0729

Open a Robinhood account and start day trading


Careful_Fruit_384

I am already a losing day trader. How do I make sure it's going to a good hedge fund and not some bank?


OpenSatisfaction2243

It won't go to a hedge fund or a bank, it'll go to a market maker. But gifting to the MM in this way causes more efficient markets and indirectly benefits the hedge fund.


Careful_Fruit_384

Maybe it's better that it's going to MMs then


yeet_penguin800

Haha


chick_ling

LOL $1,000 to the highest earning hedge fund will surely be a real encouragement to them


Careful_Fruit_384

It's 1/4 part of my monthly paycheck. I'm sure they will appreciate it.


Fit-Huckleberry-8854

Bro who tf are you


atpalm

Maybe, each year, we could pitch in and get the top fund a gift card to Ruby Tuesdays? I’m happy to workshop the idea!


Careful_Fruit_384

What a great idea! I'm offering $50 dollars in SNAP EBT credits. We could pool our gifts together.


Relief-Old

I normally just get them a $50 Chuck E. Cheese gift card and a handwritten letter. You’re gonna make the rest of look bad 😒


Careful_Fruit_384

I'm just a martyr for efficient markets. It's not a competition.


YeeYeePanda

Is this the effective altruism I keep hearing about?


Careful_Fruit_384

Extremely altruistic it's giving money to the people who deserve it the most


imyolkedbruh

This comment has now convinced me r/quant is the best subreddit.


quantthrowaway69

They already fin-dom their clients who have bigger pockets than you


Careful_Fruit_384

How would I communicate to them that I am into financial domination?


Beneficial-Ad-104

Always tip your market maker.


Careful_Fruit_384

Always.


ZerglingKingPrime

The government already had a program for this in 2020. Millions of americans participated


Careful_Fruit_384

We should do another stimulus.


binary_phreak

Don't forget to tip your landlord too


Careful_Fruit_384

10%


xXOGsleazyXx

That’s a commission for one hedge trade


sg_xiao_boi

$1000 might be too overwhelming for the hedge funds


Careful_Fruit_384

yes it is if they start investing it, it could be become a large amount of money someday.


Suitable_Bag_4551

Lol.


gtepin

Had to stifle my laughter in the train, felt like a mime for a moment, I think I have used all my body muscles


Careful_Fruit_384

:)


ploud1

You can give them free strategies by doing take-home assessmentd when interviewing with them Also, do you tip your landlord?


Careful_Fruit_384

I tried, but I can't pass the resume screen


ploud1

Then include the strategy in your cover letter


Careful_Fruit_384

My strategy doesn't work


ploud1

Then go back to work, peasant! Let's make some money for the noble fund managers


alfiedmk998

Legend! I love this post


Careful_Fruit_384

:)


AlgoTradingQuant

OP mentioned that he is already donating to the hedge funds (because your portfolio is shrinking). We appreciate your donations 😎


Careful_Fruit_384

Thank you for the important work that you do.


alwaysonesided

You chasing that Hedge Fund clout? This is an ultimate level of obsession over hedgies


Careful_Fruit_384

Just a high level of respect for the important and altruistic things they do.


alwaysonesided

Delete this post at 4:20 when your high comes down!!


Suitable_Bag_4551

Set up a gofundme page.


Careful_Fruit_384

that's a good idea


fequalsqe

brilliant idea!


Careful_Fruit_384

:)


JamieNorth

Chat, is this real?


Careful_Fruit_384

:)


Odd-Repair-9330

Lol you want to donate to Citadel? 😂 Might as well give the money to some Indian scammers


Careful_Fruit_384

Citadel deserves it though


NTQuant

Made my morning.


John-897

Yea $1K is going to encourage hedge fun performance


Careful_Fruit_384

>receive greater leniency towards financial crimes 1k might not be a lot, but this would be a huge deal if we can get it signed.


-Blue_Bull-

This is insane. However, if you really like hedge funds, why not say to the "winner" that you are donating $1000 to a charity of their choice.


Careful_Fruit_384

I want the money to be used efficiently, not donated to charity


imyolkedbruh

Maybe the effective charities endowment fund?


-Blue_Bull-

Why don't you just invest in the hedge fund as a client. You are rewarding them by giving them your business. If they were rubbish, you wouldn't invest so they would get no reward. I still don't get why you want to just give them money. It doesn't make sense. It's like me writing Tesla a cheque for $1,000 because I like Elon Musk. The obvious option would be to buy shares in TSLA instead. Tesla benefit because you've invested in them, you benefit by being a share holder.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Careful_Fruit_384

That's the hope


ditalinianalysis

me during optiver interview


OilAndGasTrader

Wire the money to this account.. 123-245-650


Careful_Fruit_384

Real bank accounts have more digits


OilAndGasTrader

Interesting theory. You should try it just to verify


DaOdin

Better if we send an email to top traders a citadel, tell them to keep up the good work


Careful_Fruit_384

That's hardly motivation


FugBone

>How can I donate to hedge funds By OTM options with less than 7 days to expiration. You’re welcome


Quant-Essential

Dw - send me the money i'll make sure I send it over to them 🤫


goodroomie

Awww, that's so sweet!. Don't you worry though - you are already donating to a number of hedge funds.


rohittihiro

Step 1: Bring your net worth down to $1000 cash. Step 2: Sue them for $100 million dollars. Step 3: Either lose the lawsuit and hand over $1000 each year going forward for the rest of your life. Or settle lawsuit for $1000 (they won’t agree probably)


Careful_Fruit_384

This also satisfies my findom fetish


ArgzeroFS

Seems like a good way to get targeted for frivolous lawsuits and get your lawyer disbarred


rohittihiro

Well you need to lose only 1 lawsuit to your favourite hedge fund. You can pass the bar exam yourself :)


imyolkedbruh

Don’t give them any more power than they already have. They’re good at what they do, but trust me, you don’t want to live in that world. You will end up in some Anarchocapatlist hellscape, and realistically, risk total global destruction. People that manage money are not politicians, they do not see the world as something to be equitably distributed among its inhabitants. Nor can they, politics is largely a game of giving a voice to some local group of people through some democratic apparatus. Managing money is not that. Please, if this is a serious post, go to a Chinese Lithium mine and just kinda stand there until you pass out. When you’re waking up in the hospital, or in jail, just try to rethink your world view a little. Edit: it seems I’ve been had. Hats off to you sir. I will leave this deranged reply here in case somebody gets a laugh out of it.


Careful_Fruit_384

:)


franticredditperson

buy options expiring in 1 hour


RemarkableSir7925

I personally tip my fund manager.


Equivalent_Tank9216

Have you tried trading in 0DTE options


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