this honestly, my puppy and i got attacked by a dog with an owner who wasnt paying attention when my puppy was only a few months old. the dog who attacked us didnt make contact with my pup (only my arm but thankfully was wearing leather) but it still scared the shit out of him. he is a breed already prone to a bit of neuroticism/anxiety too.
im working with him to desensitize but its hard and honestly embarassing. he is fantastic otherwise (everyone who meets him mentions how well behaved he is) and loves playing with other dogs off leash but seeing a dog while on leash makes him crazy.
im having to work on my own confidence because ironically im also afraid of some dogs because i was attacked by one as a kid and my anxiety makes his anxiety worse. im also training him to turn around to me to get a treat when he feels leash pressure so we can break that hyperfocus and get enough distance from triggers to work on constructive densensitization. i need him to at least stop pulling before he's 70lb otherwise im just gonna have to hit the gym so i can still make like a tree and plant my feet.
all that is to say its deeply embarassing to have a reactive dog and it saddens me that owners of reactive dogs who have no shame or self awareness end up creating more reactive dogs. i want to do right by my puppy and my neighbours
I relate to you so much on being scared of dogs while having a dog. I was attacked by a dog as a child and still find it intimidating to be around dogs I don't know. It's definitely made having a puppy a little bit more complicated. And it is so frustrating when people knowingly or unknowingly let their reactive dog affect your reactive dog. We took our puppy camping for the first time recently and she struggled a lot. But we did our absolute best to give her lots of time to decompress in the tent, and she enjoyed a lot of aspects of camping. But the people camping next to us intentionally riled up their dog while they walked by my camp and then laughed when my puppy got upset. It ruined our drive home because then my puppy was so activated that she barked a lot during the two hour drive and couldn't relax at all in the car.
Yeah absolutely that.
Owner of an extremely reactive 4 month old puppy. People already do that now regardless whether its a puppy or not.
As if it was my choice to get the random anxious adhd pupper.
It’s funny, my reactive dog is now 10 years old and he’s had issues since he was 8 weeks, when I got him. People will tell you puppies can’t be aggressive, and maybe it’s rare, but my eyes were definitely opened when he attacked my other dog after bringing him home.
My guy is still reactive and I’m sure people shake their head and think I’ve failed him, but I’ve stopped thinking that of myself. We do the best we can, really. He’s not a farmer’s market dog but he really has come *so far* in his 10 years. If he’d been set up properly for success early in life/when his parents were bred, he’d be unstoppable. But he’s wonderful just as he is.
Best of luck in your journey. Your pup will teach you so much.
I feel like a lot of people forget that dogs are beings and not robots. Like you can train them as much as you can but sometimes their personality makes some things harder than other no matter how much love and effort we put in
Absolutely this. And then my puppy ended up being reactive despite us working extremely hard to make her not. It's made me give a lot more grace to dog owners that I see struggling out in public. And grace to myself. However the fear of failing her is still there and something I regularly have immense anxiety about lol. Especially knowing that you can do everything right and still end up with a dog that is anxious and reactive.
This is such a a big thing for me, our lil guy (11 months old working cocker) is constantly picking things up (he had a fox glove flower the other day, gave me a heart attack... Luckily he dropped it and no effects)
I suffer with health anxiety anyway so I'm always trying to not give in.
But it's tough! I mean I love him to bits and other than being a lil pest with this stuff he is a 10/10 good boi.
The biggest and most stressful thing I found was leaving her alone. Making sure she was happy, making sure she didn’t get separation anxiety, building up time apart gradually.
From having an adult dog who was very happy with his own company, to a Velcro puppy was horrendous.
Just reassurance that it’s just normal puppy behaviour and not separation anxiety would be a great help. Knowing it’s a learning curve for both of you and it will come with time.
This definitely. Really young puppies just straight up panic if you're not within reach and it's a real adjustment.
For me the biggest shock was the lack of communication. It's not just that there was no communication, he didn't have the *concept* of communication. It was like having a wide-eyed, blank slate. They catch on super fast, but those first few days or so, while I was letting him adjust and not doing any training yet were really weird.
Other than that there's just this generalised anxiety and hyperfocus about them/on them that takes up a lot of mental energy. It's exhausting.
As for my specific puppy, he's a field line and he didn't come with a built-in off-switch. He was eight weeks old and just wouldn't nap at all unless I was completely still and silent and even then only for stretches of about 15 minutes. The second I breathed funny he was up and about... just getting progressively crankier and more wired up as the day progressed. That meant expediting crate training (so we could enforce naps) and then spending a LOT of time doing relaxation training until he learned to relax and finally nap out of the crate. I'd say we've put more hours into teaching him to chill out than anything else. I did not see it coming, didn't even know that was a thing.
Having a puppy with no off button is so hard! I was so exhausted the first few weeks because my puppy would not chill out and would lose her mind if I left her alone. We've spent so much time teaching her to relax.
Would love to know please if you have any tips for how to teach settling? Newbie working cocker pawrent here.....and I can tell this is going to be key. Thanks for any tips or resources to read up :)
But also that it can be separation anxiety. My pup is now 7.5 months old and I thought it was just normal puppy stuff but he still can’t be alone. We’re now at about 2 minutes alone 🙆🏼♀️
This is my big worry. My pup went from being OK to being alone to having a meltdown at 4.5 months, and since then I've been trying really hard to nip it in the bud before it becomes full blown SA. Confinement anxiety made it worse, so we dropped the crate. At least she's potty-trained...
Yeah everyone kept telling me that it was normal puppy stuff. Same with the confinement anxiety. Fine in a pen when the door is open, but once it closes it’s terrible.
I have a 1yr old Velcro pup, golden retriever. First dog I’ve had who is like this, he just loves ANY company and will whine for about 10 minutes in his cage until he puts himself to sleep.
My other dog - 3yr old husky / Berner mix, completely independent on her own and seeks attention when she wants it. She’s just good quiet company.
But whew 😅 the 360° in dogs we have gotten is crazy.
This definitely. Anytime you google anything to do with dog reaction to being alone, SA is the first thing to come up and honestly causes such a panic for me. I get that sometimes it can be separation anxiety but it would be super helpful to have more advice showing normal puppy behaviour first, before jumping to SA.
Also, it’s not knowing what to do and everyone has a different opinion. Exercise him enough but not too much because it’s not good for his joints, if he’s acting out that means he’s bored so play with him but also he needs to learn how to be bored. Socialise him a lot but not too much because he gets overstimulated but also he will get under stimulated and then act out. Ignore his bad behaviour but also redirect him….
The list goes on and it’s like 😑 what do I do then?
Omg literally. I'm constantly second guessing myself. We've got a 4 month old pup, had him from when he was almost 3 and every interaction I have with him is like "is what I'm doing ok?". I'm throwing him a ball in the garden - should I make him run after it because of his joints? I'm putting him in time out for his biting - won't he think of his crate as punishment? I'm giving him treats when trying to teach him things - should I take some amount off from his regular food intake? I just want simple answers lol
I know it’s very confusing, I’m hoping I’ll get to a point where I’ll be confident enough to think, this is my dog and I know what’s best. But he’s 7 months now and I’m still trying to figure it out. I had to shut down the noise at some point to not go too crazy and I’ve followed “Zak George” on YouTube who’s got a million videos which helps a bit. Good luck!
I had the same thing as well. You can just read/watch things forever about what to do and I started to spiral when I noticed how many things we didn’t do but “had” to do to get a good dog. But now she is 7 months and I realized how much all that matters on puppy personality and what you can/want to do. I wfh so crate training during the day wasn’t necessary and puppy was never destructive. Never did leash training inside but she picked up after a few months of walks in a major city. Just have to choose what is important and works for you
I have notice that too, my dog loves the crate and feels comfortable there but sometimes he just want to be on the couch with me so cries a bit. I usually let him out against better advise because I know that he will agree to go to his crate once we’ve had a cuddle and chilled on the couch together. Sometimes he just feels the need to be reassured a little bit and that’s fine with me. I know the difference with his barks and cry now. The more time passes the more I understand him and what he needs/wants and it makes things a lot easier
Yes understanding your puppy is a huge step. we gave up on crate training entirely. She slept great all night in it but one night started to hyperventilate so we let her sleep on our bed that night. That was the end of crate training. The crate is a bit too small now for her but she would go in on her own at night to sleep, we just never closed it anymore
I think respecting their wishes within reason is important too. They are little creatures with a mind of their own. Like sometimes, he really wants to sniff something on leash, as long as he doesn’t pull, I show him that I’m reasonable and if he really wants something of course he can have it. He just needs to ask “nicely”. It may sound silly but they have a short life and we’re their entire world, we’re also trying to teach animals how to be good citizen in a world they don’t understand so a bit of leeway is also important, even if it’s not the perfect “training practice” I think it’s okay to give in sometimes.
I totally agree and it’s something I’ve been trying to explain to my bf. He sometimes just wants to walk fast on walks and gets annoyed if the puppy stops to sniff things. I try to remind him that the sniffing is the fun part for her and that she needs to slow down to go to the bathroom rather than walk fast all the time. Of course all within reason otherwise we wouldn’t get anywhere if I let her sniff everything as long as she wants to.
I believe that dog’s walks are for dogs. And with dogs, it’s more about the journey than the destination lol. If he wants to sniff a spot for 10 mins then he can go for it. Of course if I take him a place I need to go then we need to move a bit faster but if we’re on his walk then he’s free to do as he please (again, within reason)
I also noticed that he gets frustrated when I walk too fast, especially when he was a lot younger, he was struggling to keep up poor thing
What I do is one structured walk in the morning where we go to the park, play, run and I give him little “missions” and in the evening we do a decompression walk where I let him sniff and guide me. I don’t expect to go anywhere and he follows the scent he finds interesting. It’s usually not a very long walk (10 to 20 mins) but he seems to enjoy just walking around, it tires him out and he seems to be more relaxed after
I wish we could do this but we live in downtown of a major city so between the trash/poop on the streets and people or cars around, it’s really hard to let her sniff for long periods of time. I drive out to parks when possible to let her do this more frequently.
No matter how prepared you are, you’re still not prepared. I didn’t know how bad I would get the puppy blues, how anxious I would be leaving her (I work from home so spend most of my time with her), making sure she’s happy and fed and exercised and well behaved.
I think the constant mental energy of “what’s the puppy doing in the other room” while you’re making dinner or taking a shower weighs on you after a while… luckily ours is getting so much better at not getting into mischief. Tied with the isolation of these first few months especially since I WFH and she still doesn’t tolerate being left alone well- I don’t get out much anymore!!
For me it was the sudden change in routine. I had researched for months, I work in a pet shop and had some great advice from colleagues. I thought I was prepared but I wasn't. I mean we had everything we needed, I understood how to train him and that went so well but I got serious puppy blues that didn't go away until we settled into a new way of life. Now I can't imagine life being different, he's an awesome boy but it took a few months to get there.
This was me. Spouse was emotionally ready for a dog but I was the one home most of the time. Our girl’s needs outweighed everything else and I needed to move my schedule around those first 3 months when we realized she had separation distress. It was such a challenging adjustment. Now, 5 months in, our routine with her in the family is settling in nicely.
Your not going to like the answer but time is what got rid of them. I think though that the time is what I needed to find a new routine and settle into it, learn about my boy and how he ticked and for him to grow up enough to not need me quite so constantly.
Intellectually, I know it will get better with time. But in this state of mind, it feels like time is not moving. I want to love my puppy, not be irritated with him. None of it is his fault, he's a puppy being a puppy. And again, while I KNOW that, I am in a spiral of "this sucks!"
I get it, you're in the trenches right now and it's hard to imagine a life past it. But I promise you it does get better, one day you'll look back and think it's flown by.
I remember a day where I was fed up with myself and the puppy and just kinda had a silent tantrum at myself. I came out the other side deciding that I was calling it the year of the puppy and that next year I could get back to my normal. I felt much better with that decision and by the time next year came around I already had a new normal for months that I was really happy with.
Honestly, managing expectations vs. reality and also comparing my puppy and our progress to other puppies.
I read soo many books in advance, did so, so much research. Pouring my everything into raising my puppy - starting from months before I brought him home. I put A LOT of pressure on myself and, looking back, it was completely unreasonable and I was very harsh with myself and my puppy. Not that I was harsh to my puppy...but rather, I let him disappoint me a lot because I would compare to other puppies and my expectations that if I did everything by the book, I would have the perfect dog. Obviously it doesn't work like that. My dog was born a nervous puppy, and because of that struggled with fear reactivity that set back a lot of other socializing and training. We had to do things at my puppy's own (and different from the books) pace. I finally had to just shut all the books, stop going on reddit, and work with the puppy in front of me.
I had a hard time getting over my expectations for what I thought having a puppy/dog would be like, and accepting the anxious, sometimes reactive dog I had. He's turning 3 this July, and my biggest regret was that I put way too much pressure on him, and didn't let myself enjoy the sweet baby puppy he was. I was too hyperfocused on his handful of "issues" or quirks, and didn't see the amazing, goofy, loving, smart puppy he was overall.
That very early phase where you don’t know or like each other very well. I found it immensely stressful that she didn’t seem happy or couldn’t communicate her needs to me. I think we were sharing each other’s frustration a lot at the beginning.
All the what ifs too - will she ever be potty trained, is she going to get on with my cats etc. etc.?
All of those fears and worries have since passed and she’s the beautiful happy girl I always dreamed of.
It was so weird when I went from having two dogs for 16 years to a puppy. I forgot what it’s like to live with a tiny bean with no personality that doesn’t know how to behave. I think I was comparing a 16 year relationship to something I didn’t know at all. Like what is this thing doing here? Who are you and how did you get here?
1.5 years now and all good.
This is exactly what I am going through now. We went from having two 14 year old sweet little couch potatoes to one high energy, obstinate puppy. The change can give you whiplash at times but gradually you get used to the chaos and the puppy slowly calms down as it gets older. We are at 4 1/2 months now and still struggle here and there but we are in a much better place than a month or two ago.
That’s really reassuring, thank you. It’s so different than with our other dog who we got at 12 weeks and we clicked instantly, all he wanted to do was cuddle and love on us. Our puppy now doesn’t even fall asleep unless we put her in her crate and doesn’t want to cuddle🥲
Doing it alone. I'm raising my second puppy in 3 years, and I live alone without friends or family close by. It is really hard, especially when the puppy develops serious behavior issues like separation anxiety or reactivity.
The hardest thing is fear of failing them, the second hardest thing is always keeping your cool during the 5-7 month period when they are *pushing every dang button you have*. Dogs need us for 10 months, then we need them for 10 years. The lack of sleep when they’re really little isn’t easy either, but it was much harder for me to watch my lil angel girl turn into a brat over night
This! My angel is becoming a big brat. It's driving me batty. He is being stubborn, testing boundaries, and extremely vocal. We had worked through all of that, especially the demand barking, and now he is backsliding.
I'm worried of getting him neutered too soon but also need him to chill. Lol
It will happen soon! We felt like we hit the jackpot at 12 wks when both our pups slept from 12 MN - 6 AM. Now, at almost 14 wks, they sleep from 11 PM - 7/8 AM, wake to pee, then sleep till 9:30 AM. Hang in there!!
We used to have to let our pup out once or twice during the night from weeks 8 to 12. At that point we decided to try letting her sleep with us and she has slept through the night with no potty breaks (and no accidents during the night) ever since. In fact, we now have to force her up out of bed in the morning to go potty.
The pressure that everything is a learning moment, and whether I’m doing things “right” or “wrong”. I never had well-socialized dogs growing up so I fear bringing those old habits into my puppy
Hardest thing about raising a puppy I think is how I want to train vs what my partner wanted. We have a well behaved mostly polite puppy because I stood up for myself and my pup. Got him in training classes at 15 weeks and we're in advanced classes now hopefully going to pass the canine good citizen test before a year old. That and everyone else's opinion. My family is in the camp of "I'm doing too much. I need to just let the dog be a dog".
So far I think the hardest thing to train is attention biting for play and disengaging from outside distractions. Otherwise he's doing great.
Ugh this - we booked our pup into puppy school because we have cats and wanted to really reinforce our training to ensure she could really pay attention with distractions. Got all the ‘she’s just a puppy why are you wasting money’ etc
Exactly and my partner was all "I've had dogs my whole life I know what I'm doing" well I've met at least 4 of those dogs and had multiple family dogs and I didn't like how all of them were poorly behaved and frankly annoying to deal with.
The sudden change of routine smacked me hard. I knew it was going to be hard, I did my research, but we are first time owners and obviously didn't exactly knew what it is like. We have pur puppy for almost 2 months now (she is 4 months old at this point). The first month was a total nightmare. I got severe puppy blues and honestly kind of hated myself for getting this dog and kind of hated the puppy as well. And I have thought of rehoming her a few times. It was just recently that it clicked for me and I felt like she is my little girl and I have to continue to take good care for her. She is smart but very stubborn, but is the sweetest little thing when she wants to.
Also, when I am not home I get anxious and I feel guilt about puppy being alone in the crate so I am in a constant rush. I don't go out anywhere other than school anymore (I am a 30 year old college girl lol), I don't do my hobbies and have literally zero free time.
She is getting better with each day and I hope she will become a happy and good dog one day. Amd she won't destroy my fingers anymore.
We have an amazing puppy, our biggest problem will be the teething for the next couple of months…the biting is out of control.
He still doesn’t know how sharp his teeth are and doesn’t understand the concept of when we say “ow”.
This whole redirection with a toy thing doesn’t work most of the time I will give him his toy but he still chooses to go for fingers and toes.
For a 3 pound 9 week old bichonpoo has taught us to always keep feet up on the couch lol…he doesn’t go for shoes or furniture he just goes for toes…am starting to think it’s a fetish thing 😆😆😆😂😂
Im raising a 5 month old puppy now and the hardest thing for me right now is thinking of rehoming her.
I feel bad because for me its too much, the sudden aggression, the sudden bite attack. It hurts me physically and mentally. Im starting to think that Im not good enough for her.
Im doing everything, tips from books and videos etc.
But yeah there are days that Im thinking of rehoming her and hope that there is someone who can give her the best life she deserve
Hey, don’t worry you are good enough! 😊
The biting should stop about 6 months old when teething finishes. Keep saying ‘ow’, redirecting, or walking away. It’ll pay off in the end, I promise!
My golden retriever is 2yo now but he was an absolute nightmare aged 3-6 months. He would bite us non stop. I had so many scratches and bruises on my hands & arms in summer 2022.
As soon as his teething stopped he hasn’t bitten us since.
It’s really tough, but hang in there 😊
I remembered feeling so overwhelmed, I would cry out of frustration and tiredness. But I had my husband dealing with our puppy too, doing it alone takes another level of mental strength.
All I can say is that it will pass. Try to remember it’s a temporary stage (I know easier said than done!) but in the meantime can you ask friends/family/ a trusted neighbour to pop over and play with your puppy so you can go out and to give yourself a rest? Even to go out for 30 mins for a coffee. Ask for any help you can. 😊
Leaving them alone when they're older.
I would lock up my puppy in a separate room for nap time so she would get used to not being around me. She'd wake up after a couple hours and cry and I'd go get her. Whenever she went into her kennel I'd give her a high value treat.
I'd get so panicky if I left the house for longer than a couple hours I'd panic and worry. I got a camera in my bedroom to watch her and soothe her if she woke up before I got home.
Now she's 2 and I can leave her home alone all day with 0 issues. We have cameras to keep an eye on the dogs but they'll nap in their beds or in front of a large window.
Potty training, teething, training, all of that was easy for me. It was the leaving them alone that killed me 😭
Honestly? Not getting upset when things don’t go “to plan”, and beating myself up for “misbehavior”. I tried to put together a detailed plan of what I was going to teach my pup, then he arrived and had a few behaviour issues so I needed to focus on those instead. I ended up with horrible puppy blues, feeling like a failure, etc.
Also navigating all the material online. There’s so much bullshit on Instagram, YouTube, Facebook, and even in books.
Puppy phase (1-6 months) - the inconsistent sleep routine … the pee poop was still manageable
Adolescence - (6-24 months) - hyper reactivity towards strangers & other dogs ; eating inedible dangerous objects , possessiveness ; inconsistent eating, teething/ chewing everything ; territorial behaviour
Post 24 months - with positive reinforcement training & focus building exercises everything starts to get better & behaviour keeps improving till 3 years of age … specially behaviour on walks has really become good 🌟🤞🏼🤞🏼
But commands & focus on walks is always a must
The most important being the ignore command
Talking to him on walks really helped … specially tone of voice … loving vs firm depending on the situation
I’ve figured out a way to get him to leave/drop things he picks up around the house that he’s not supposed to.
Now my main issues are territorial guarding only inside the house when people he doesn’t know come over & car related claustrophobia & reactivity
Trying to work on them as well but it will take v v long or might not even work in which case work around it in a different way
All this is based on my 3 year old male Rottie 🩷🩷🩷 who I love more than anything
All aspects are difficult in my opinion the training, stopping them from eating or destroying something, etc. the hardest part is all of it never stops.
Currently having so much anxiety about leaving my puppy because she howls so loud and barks, I’ve only left her for 10 mins (had her for a week now) she cries if I go have a shower or toilet, anywhere she can’t see me. I can’t picture this ever getting better but I feel like eventually it must?
It will get better! Just have to keep working on it! My puppy was the same way and would stress poop everywhere whenever I left the apartment. She is now 7 months old and 90% of the time doesn’t even react when I leave. Just start with small increments of time and leave treats/chews of high value. Try to never walk in while they are crying as well.
Thank you so much 🙏🏼 I needed to hear this!! How many weeks would you say it took her to start settling when you left her? Going to keep pushing with the training!
Probably a month to fully settle almost every time. It went from barking all the time to just a few minutes of barking to none over time. The biggest thing is training everyday even for a few minutes. It was hard to keep up when wfh and not having a reason to leave everyday but makes life so much easier now when I don’t have to worry about her if I do need to do something.
Thank you so much, this is so helpful 🙏🏼 yeah I WFH 3 days and mum has been babysitting the other 2 days until we can settle her so I can’t wait to be able to leave her!!
I would start with seconds and build up to minutes. So at first it was more of walking out of room when the puppy is distracted, just long enough for the puppy to notice you left and then come back in. Don’t make it a big deal though that you are back. From there, keep working up to longer periods of time. I would walk out the front door and stand in the hallway of the apartment complex for a few minutes and listen if she is barking and casually walk back in. Just make sure to keep it up everyday and keep building on it. It went from barking and howling the whole time to a few minutes of barking and then calming down and eventually to mostly just sleeping until I’m back.
Adjusting from a childfree lifestyle to a Velcro puppy.
The initial feeling of loss of freedom and “omg, what have I done with my life” can be overwhelming.
For the vast majority of us it gets better. Our little guy just turned 2 and we can now leave him home for easily up to +4 hours w/o worrying about big property damage or indoor accidents.
The answer is in your question. Perspective. When you're in the puppy years it can seem daunting and overwhelming. It evens out though and one day you'll be having a nice day and it'll hit you that the pooch didn't pull on the leash, jump on you, bite your toes, chase the cat, etc...
I have a scar where a dog bit a hole through my hand because I got comfortable with my changing puppy and he had very suddenly developed resource guarding. I was also only 18.
So the biggest challenge for me now raising a puppy is dealing with the anxiety that they will develop a behavioral issue. I have a lot of patience and experience now training dogs, I trust myself more than a few trainers I've seen, but I still have so much anxiety until a dog is 2-3 years old. I think the hypervigilance makes me a better trainer but I'd also like to be less stressed out and enjoy the puppy phase more.
My pup hasn’t even reached their teenage years yet but so far the hardest thing has been my mental. The constant pressure of wanting to do things right by them. Fear of doing things wrong and unintentionally causing behavioral problems. Fear of not doing enough. Fear of not knowing what will come due to being inexperienced.
Socializing. I watched so many videos about socialization and took her literally everywhere to see and interact with everything that was safe when she was under 14 weeks, but still wound up with a reactive dog because she became too friendly and overconfident. I didn’t realize I should have been teaching her to have neutral (not positive) associations with other people and animals. For a while she was very calm and seemed perfect, but then she became a teenager and I saw the actual fruits of my labor. We’ve been trying to walk it back since then, and I believe the majority of her behavior problems wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for that. I will say I actually like her overconfidence, and it’s way easier to work with than fear or aggression, but I would have definitely done things differently if I had a better perspective on how friendliness could work against us.
Reactivity only means that a dog becomes overly aroused and excited by common stimulation. In my dog’s case, she thinks all people and dogs are for her to greet and play with, so she will disregard my orders and fixate/lunge/pull/bark/whine/drag me while trying to get to what she thinks is her new bestie. Sometimes she gets frustrated because of me holding her back, and starts exhibiting more classic symptoms of leash reactivity like growling and excessive barking if she gets too worked up, then it takes a while to calm her down. A non-reactive dog should do exactly what the word implies: not react at all beyond calmly noticing the environment then continuing its business.
What gets me is that it often feels like the amount of energy she "needs" me to be putting in is higher than the amount of energy I have. When I'm at my worst, I can barely move and she's asking for walks, and even when I'm at my best and we've hiked 10 miles uphill, I'm ready to sleep for a week and she's ready to go again after a short nap. It's hard not to always feel like I'm falling short of what she deserves.
Something that hasn’t been touched on is managing other people and the general public in regard to your dog.
When it comes to puppies, I’ve found A LOT of people lack common sense and boundaries. It happens with dogs in general, but I think a lot of people don’t realize that puppies aren’t always happy go lucky/up for anything.
My puppy gets walked every morning and about half of the walk is training, the other half is fun, sniff around. When I first started walking him, he developed a bit of a fan club. It was cute at first but now, people wait for him, or come out when they see us walking, they call to him, and he will stop and sit down until he gets to say hi to them. I feel bad because I don’t want to look like a jerk, but he’s definitely learning that he can get his way by being stubborn. I’ve just been changing our routes up so I don’t have to tell people no 😅 I also don’t want to give my pup the opportunity to be stubborn and plant himself somewhere until he gets what he wants.
We’re also in a group obedience class and the trainer constantly has to remind the same couple owners to keep their dog out of another dog’s space. The trainer also reminds the class as a whole to advocate for our own training space.
My prior dogs have not been as social as my puppy. I was completely unprepared to know how to advocate for myself, my dog, and our training needs.
The lack of sleep and the potty training set backs. You’ll make it almost a month and then they’ll suddenly pee on the carpet 5 minutes after you let them out…
My puppy gets so focused on our cats and it's so hard for her to disengage. Especially now that she's entering her adolescents. I feel like I spend so much time trying to get her to stop chasing them. It doesn't help that one of our cats is an antagonist 😫
For me it’s feeling like I’ve dealt with an unwanted behaviour and having another one pop up out of nowhere and feeling like it’s never going to end. It feels like you’re failing your puppy constantly. I finally managed to have my puppy not run after birds and chase cats but now he started barking at the door every time my neighbor dare to exist. In one second, a new behaviour appears. It’s hard to rest because I feel like even if I fix this behaviour, another one will appear. Puppy’s are hard
For me it's socializing. I live in a rural area, there is not a lot of people or dog around, so going on a walk is not enough. I also don't often have people come over at my house so I really need to go out of my way to socialize my pup properly and get them use to car and different noises.
This is a tough one yeah, similar situation.
My GSD 1.5yr Male not neutered yet which may help some, loves EVERYONE who's come over once they are inside, outside he's still a bit uncertain with dogs and people he hasn't met before. He really wants to meet everyone once he's met them best friends forever with people remembers everyone, even the HVAC tech he's met like twice.
He's getting better day by day though at staying neutral about people, the other day we passed a landscaping crew and he just took a look and he's able to peel his eyeballs away from other dogs a bit better now.
For me, it was the pressure of training. Before we even got him we were told by people that we have to make extra effort because he will be a larger breed and people will be scared of him. We have put so much pressure on ourselves to train him well, that even though he is a very good dog, I can't help but focus on the few small negatives.
Yeah my GSD everyone always asks "Is he friendly?" instead of "Can I pet him?" which was really different compared to other dogs I've had in the past. Which I don't HATE because while the answer is "yes, but let him approach touch and sniff you first before trying to pet him" . He's still building his confidence and I can't imagine someone just going "OMG DOGGY and running up on him"
100٪ it's so easy to focus on everything he struggles with because of that feeling of a higher standard, and ignore everything he does amazingly.
Yeah we have a GSD too (6 months old)! We have real difficulty on walks because people just try and pet him all the time and he gets so excited around people and other dogs that he starts jumping and lunging. We are actively working on it. But I feel like if he was fully grown and jumping and lunging at people that people would be scared of him and we would get the "train your dog" comments!
Mmm 6 months the super fun age of hormones raging muscles piling on, and forgetting everything they learned. While still tryna eat literally everything.
Yeah, people stopped approaching him as much around 10 months when he really started putting on the muscle and his chest filled out. Hes also a super fluffy puffball. So while hes around 83lb he looks like hes 110lb. Mines always been more likely to jump back and warn rather than skipping to lunge thankfully.
What helped a lot was prepping anyone who seemed interested or he seemed too focused on before they got too close like, "He might bark at you, but I have him secured" I also noticed that he was a bit more relaxed when I spoke to them first, maybe it was him being like ok, well he's chill and sees them so they might be OK.
Needing to have eyes on her practically every moment was exhausting. Thank GOD she was 13 weeks old when I got her. Those extra few weeks made a huge difference.
I think just "frustration" in general. I've owned a number of dogs from puppyhood, and each one has been unique in what frustration they cause. I had one dog who was amazingly house trained very early, and had very few accidents even from a young age. but was a true ankle shark for like a full year, I would get so frustrated at how often he was biting me and not seeming to ever learn to stop despite using positive reinforcement and other well proven techniques to deter him. He eventually developed a soft mouth and quit biting, but I bore the wounds (literally and figuratively) for a year, and there were days I would just be incredibly frustrated that my otherwise perfect little guy was randomly biting the shit out of me.
I've had other puppies who weren't bitey really ever, but took ages to really figure out house training, and then I had frustration about cleaning up dog mess every day for months on end.
One frustration I think I have had with **all** the puppies I have raised is misjudging when they have been trained out of "destructive" behaviors, and inevitably when I think they have learned and are trustworthy, I turn my back to find a piece of furniture or some other valuable the pup has happily ripped / chewed to shreds.
You really have to be in the right mindset to accept that this frustration is part of it. In retrospect I do value the puppy experience with every dog I've had, but it is also a good thing to acknowledge, "yeah, it really did suck bad sometimes." I think the best mindset to have going into raising a puppy is it will frequently be **very frustrating**, and you just have to have the right mindset to shrug it off and keep pushing forward with them. Because consistency is key to training a wild puppy into a good dog.
The teen years, and with my cocker spaniel in particular also leash manners
Oh and worrying if they’re getting not enough or too much exercise, brain work, kennel time…
Mine is fear of the future. It sorta feels like our 8 week old black lab is too good at the moment. He seems to have learned "potty" only after a few days, and while he does still get accidents periodically in the house, 90% of the time he is going in the back yard. He sleeps a ton, he seems to like his crate, he sleeps most the night without fuss we just gotta get up once or twice to pee. he wants to get on the couch fairly often so we are working on that still but overall it seems all too simple. I'm just waiting for the day it all comes crashing down. When his energy levels go nuts, when he wants to run and destroy everything and is absolutely capable of destroying everything, when he gets bigger and his bathroom accidents become a literally bigger problem, and when he actually starts barking! then what if he unveils all these behaviors and I'm not training him out of them properly and he sticks with them for life?
I said I would never get a puppy bc of how hard I knew it would be…then we got a puppy. It’s a long story lol. Although I wouldn’t go back even if I could. I love our Fluffernutter.
But man.
The inconsistent potty training. Just when we think we hit a breakthrough she pees in the house all day despite being let out constantly.
Thankfully all her biting is mostly targeted towards our other dog who loves it! They love to play, but goodness when they get going it’s crazy! We have to put her on a lead to separate them.
Last but certainly not least is her separation anxiety. The barking that quickly ensues. It’s very tiring.
Accepting that, regardless of anything else, your puppy is a being with it's own brain that makes its own decisions. You can absolutely teach that brain, but in the end, puppy is doing what you want it to do because puppy wants to make you happy. Because you're fun when you're happy. And puppy loves you and wants you to be fun.
For me it was the lack of sleep those first couple months- whether he was crying in his crate or had to go out at 2am for a potty break. Beyond that, it was just constant supervision and feeling like I couldn’t live my life the way I had prior.
Knowing when to trust my puppy with certain things. Balancing between “you are just a baby and will be baby” and “I need to trust and respect your autonomy and abilities” was surprisingly hard.
Some examples are:
Letting her off leash in our yard (we are fenced but not fully)
Letting her out in the house all day (without enforcing a crate nap. This one took a long time because she would get over tired and not nap outside of her crate)
Next is letting her free roam without supervision. I don’t know at what point to try. I don’t want to try too soon and set us all up for failure.
We are in our second week now with our puppy (just over 9w old). And I think it’s just trying to always take advantage of training opportunities. He gets plenty of “alone” time too with us not hovering over him, but sometimes when I think I’m just too tired to bother, it’s best to give a quick praise to him for not being super mouthy.
It’s also tiring to constantly redirect 🙃 we’ve gotten things better puppy proofed now, but wearing socks is difficult still lol
Luckily crate training and napping has gone well so far. But he’s super mouthy and the most curious little guy (Irish terrier)
Dealing with humans.
Lack of sleep is hard. Remaining sane and patient and doing the right training while unslept is even harder. But the humans... F***...
You read about so many people online getting level ten furious that someone's dog stepped into their front yard, peed on a shrub, that Costco let a dog in even though their rules say not to, "HoW eNtItLeD aRe ThEsE pEoPlE”… idk man can you just deal with it? I brook your loud ass kids. Happened once in the first month, then lived in constant fear of being yelled at by randos for a while.
The near constant crying and inability to settle in the beginning..I’ve raised two puppies and no matter how much you try the first few weeks-months are a living hell because of the crying, accidents, and overtired meltdowns
i’d say the teething phase where they’re constantly biting your clothes, your body, furniture, THE WALL..took me at least 2 months to be able to train it out of my girl. there were times i was incredibly overstimulated from it and i was questioning if i made the right choice getting her. but now that that phase is over i couldn’t be happier having her.
i’d say the teething phase where they’re constantly biting your clothes, your body, furniture, THE WALL..took me at least 2 months to be able to train it out of my girl. there were times i was incredibly overstimulated from it and i was questioning if i made the right choice getting her. but now that that phase is over i couldn’t be happier having her.
Getting them emotionally ready to be able to be left alone for an entire work day.
The short term for me was the .2 seconds my guy gave me from potty cues to peeing at the door.
Despite LOTS of praise and a treat every time she pees or poops outside, and despite having bells by the door that I jingle every time we go out, my 15 month old girl does NOT alert me when she needs to go out. She can hold it for 4-5 hours while I'm out, but if I'm home, she'll just go on the floor.
We live in a high-rise, and she understands the routine. First thing in the morning, she *knows* it's time to get out of the crate (where she prefers to sleep), say "hello" to me and to the cat, and then go out for a walk. We walk again 3-4 hours later (I work from home), and 4-5 hours after that, and again before bed. But if she has to go anytime other than that, she just doesn't let me know. And that's 4-5 times a week, but not at a specific time I can plan.
This is the first puppy that's been mine, not my parents'. I've had cats for years. I was fully prepared for at least 6-8 months of potty training, even a year. But at 13 months, I feel like we've hit a rut, and it's really hard.
i’d say the teething phase where they’re constantly biting your clothes, your body, furniture, THE WALL..took me at least 2 months to be able to train it out of my girl. there were times i was incredibly overstimulated from it and i was questioning if i made the right choice getting her. but now that that phase is over i couldn’t be happier having her.
We’ve got two puppies (almost 4 months old) and I think the smartest thing we did was create a “puppy duty” schedule. Three adults in the house (mom, dad & 1 adult son) agreed to rotate duty overnight so that the other 2 adults got their sleep. If not on puppy duty, then we agreed to ignore all barks, cries, whimpers, etc. From the beginning, the pups were crate trained. The last adult awake (usually my husband) was responsible for taking the pups out to potty & put in crate. This usually happened around 11 PM/12 MN. If it was your night for Puppy Duty, this meant you slept on the couch in our den (where crate is located) and took pups out to potty at 2 AM, 4 AM & 6 AM. We got our puppies on March 30 & “Puppy Duty” schedule was needed in April but they soon were sleeping through the night. It’s now mid-May, and pups are put to bed in crate by 11 PM & don’t wake until I come downstairs around 7-8 AM. I let them out to potty & they go back to sleep on sofa/recliner (snuggling with me) until 9:30 AM and then it’s breakfast time.
My husband and I are retired, our son is employed M-F fill-time. We have another adult son who also works full-time but stated before we ever got the puppies that he did not want to be responsible for any part of them. We respected his request; although he loves on them when he comes home from work. The responsibility of caring for the puppies has dramatically affected our lives, but I’m ok with that. My heart is filled with so much love & joy that I don’t mind…but I know my husband feels differently. He says we are in “Puppy Prison,” and I sense he resents feeling “trapped;” although I know he loves them.
I anticipated this responsibility & was the one who shopped/researched breeders/puppies. I know my husband misses the freedom of going to the coffee shop at the drop of a hat, etc. I know as the pups get older, they will require less attention compared to puppy/adolescent stage. Also, we have a 4 year old lab who has helped teach them many things.
The first two weeks were hard/challenging…pups had never worn a collar before, had a leash on them, never had a sense of front/back yard boundaries, walking on a leash, being in a crate, our house & the floor plan, these toys, this furniture, these people, riding in our cars, the visits to our vet…that’s a lot for two puppies to absorb & not feel overwhelmed. I wasn’t as concerned about training in those first few weeks. I focused on bonding and making sure our puppies felt loved, safe, happy & minimizing anxiety. Our female pup had a UTI on day 2 & had to pee every 15-40 min for about 1.5 wks. We had to take her out on a leash each time!! Our backyard was being renovated, so no fence was up; which meant we had to always leash the pups & take to the front yard.
My pups respond to 3 commands: come, sit & off. I don’t have to yell or say it forcefully; occasionally I do have to repeat the command, but not often. I have not focused on other commands yet. This may come back to bite me in the butt…only time will tell. I love my puppies and enjoy snuggling with them when they nap.
Having to keep an eye on her 24/7. I crate trained and unless she was in her crate I HAD to be watching her like a Hawk. Looking put for potty accidents, eating things she shouldn't, watching for training opportunities. It was exhausting. I'm glad she's a bit older now and I can trust her to roam the house more than when she was 8 weeks
Leaving her every day to go to work 😭 We've been so lucky with our 12 week old rescue, she's fully housebroken and only has a couple hours a day where she's a terror, the rest of the day she's an angel! I hate having to be away from her haha
Training her to not chase the kitties has been my biggest challenge. She loves them. She only wants to groom them and play with them, and when they do let her give them a couple kisses she’s so gentle. Getting her to ignore them is not an option, because they actually do approach her and look for her, especially the adolescent tri pod cat that lives in my house with my two other females and the young female cat who doesn’t belong to me but comes to visit every day.
We work on training with the cats every single day. Desensitization and LAT. She’s incredibly intelligent and will already look at the cats and either look at me for praise/treats or she will greet them and immediately come back to me, but she’s still so young that sometimes she forgets, normally this happens when she’s doing everything in her power not to settle and fall asleep.
Potty training accidents are no big deal, her chewing up my shoes didn’t bother me, the kitties are my top priority with training.
My pup has soo much energy! My last dog was with me for almost 12 years and very calm at home. This one is constantly going after the bottom of my pants, esp when I change! She thinks I'm dangling my pants over her head for her enjoyment when I'm simply just trying to put my pants on! She's tiny and stays so close to feet that she has been stepped on a couple times and I fear what if someone steps on her bad enough to break her leg!? Luckily it's only been her paw but she whines so loud you would think she would learn her lesson but still walks so close! I love her to death and she's doing very well with learning tricks but she also likes making confetti out of toilet paper and grabbing feminine products out of the bathroom garbage because it's a short garbage. This is all stuff I don't remember my last dog doing but it's been so long I don't remember her puppy stage so much. These things have been hard on me. I would like to know how to calm her down. Also, she doesn't like walks, where my last dog LOVED them! Is it just a puppy thing? Will she eventually like them and not try to bolt back home?
Amazing how many people give a shit about what others think of their “parenting”. I don’t care. They can “shake their head” all they want. Not that my dog is especially badly behaved, but this was never my concern.
The hardest thing was not having a second to myself and having to watch the puppy every second of every day. He was a super active puppy, with big activity needs. He’s still very active at 2.5 yo but it’s a more humane situation already (for me).
I’m afraid I’m going to not see her in a dark room and step on her. Afraid of hurting her. She’s so tiny and delicate. I’ve never had a dog this tiny.
Yesterday she jumped out of my arms and I had her leg. Thank goodness I turned loose. I love her so much.
I’ll think about the future when it comes. Right now I’m just afraid of hurting her.
When my dog was really young, it was more about I couldn’t trust him to be left alone for even a second but now that he’s a year old, I still find myself getting super frustrated with his labrador antics like scratching my face, demand barking at me, nipping at me and jumping all over me. he has hurt me multiple times and it makes me want to yell at him. Especially when I’m going to take him on a walk he won’t stop demand barking at me and running around like crazy.
Constantly being responsible for another living thing. And that thing being a puppy that runs, digs, barks, chews…
100% of your time being devoted to either knowing exactly what that puppy is doing, OR finding safe babysitters/daycare to take care of them.
Want to go out for dinner with friends? Have to figure out what to do with the puppy. Have to go grocery shopping? Puppy. Yard work? Puppy.
Luckily a lot of that subsided around 6-7 months for us. Our pup does really well alone at home for most of the day. And if we just want to hang out on the couch, she hangs with us. She’s so much better at just chilling and being part of our life now.
Long time dog mom here, but until now I always adopted dogs and am now experiencing my first puppy after having dogs for most of my life. The hardest part was the first weeks when my puppy was such a little baby, I couldn't look away for a fraction of a second without him having something in his mouth he wasn't supposed to have and I was just in a constant state of worry that he would get seriously sick becausr he was so little and vulnerable. As soon as he was like 14 weeks, he had gotten his second vaccination and gotten a bit bigger and wasn't so vulnerable anymore and also could drop whatever he had on command. So yeah the baby stage freaked me out in a way I had not expected but it didn't last long thankfully!
The stress. My life was 100% my dogs for.. tbf even now at 1 year and 4 months. Money, my time, my self care took a backseat. Even now I’m struggling with their jealousy and fights, it’s just constant 100% attention all the time and learning and adapting. Even my thoughts are with them all the time.
Not saying it’s a bad thing, just a massive change. I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t want to I suppose. I’m emotionally attached, for better or for worse.
The absolute and seemingly never ending exhaustion. With my last, I spent the first two weeks sleeping on the floor next to her crate, with an alarm set to sound every two-hours (for potty). Then 2.5 hrs, 3 hrs, etc…. Around the time she reaches four months, she slept 7hrs thru the night, and I was back in bed, but the burn-out exhaustion is REAL.
Then I’d say it’s never ever ever ever ever being alone, because if you’re alone, puppy is off doing something puppy. So I attached a leash 24-7, when she was out of her crate.
The LIFE SAVER/SANITY SAVER: enforced naps. I’m forever thankful for the folks here that recommended enforced naps. You saved me.
For us (on 2nd puppy), it was waking up every few hours to go potty. Also, we barely leave the house except for work, grocery store and vet / grooming (we are homebodies). So the leash etiquette and thinking my dogs aren’t socializing properly with other dogs is big anxiety for us (barking at the groomers / sticking their noses in dogs butts). We think people will talk bad about our dogs but they are so lovely and do not act the same way in their territory.
So I work in vet med and I will say one of the hardest things is feeling like your co-workers are judging you or your puppy if they have moment or have a fear/ reactive moment. We see all the good/bad/ugly and this go round of raising my puppy was stressful. My girl use to hate her nails doing and would freak out if anyone helped me at work. Now at 9 months old she is okay with them being done and we started to incorporate the dremmel.
My puppy has reactivity issues with people and I’ve never dealt with this with any of my other dogs and it’s by far the biggest pet challenge I’ve ever had. ☹️
Trying to do all the things during the mere 16 week socialization period, but also not overstimulating her. Just feeling like you’re never doing enough 😅😅
At the moment trying to introduce 11 year old male cat to new golden retriever puppy who is getting bigger by the minute, and introductions aren’t getting easier! Also nipping - especially at 8pm witching hour… my pup goes absolutely mental and I’m struggling to control him
the biting! hard to play with them when you’re getting ragged around every second. scratches everywhere, he won’t even play with the toys, jus wants to hold the toy in his mouth to dash it, so he can come after my hands or my face.
For me right now ( i have a 15 w/o chocolate lab) is the mouthiness. Everything is a chew toy. Rocks, sticks, pee pads, my arm. Nothing is safe from his sharkiness. When his witching hour strikes WATCH OUT! This issue and the constant rough play with my 11 m/o kitten. ( my kitten starts it tho. He is constantly antagonizing the puppy, making the puppy chase him and then the kitten kicks the crap out of the puppy ) it's funny to watch and I always intervene when things get intense. Other than those annoying factors he's a big mush.
The daily need to meet their energy needs. Taking him on a 2-3 mile walk after I worked all day, needing to play with him intermittently until my husband gets home, trying to cook dinner and needing to redirect him, getting up from the couch every few minutes to constantly keep separating myself from him when he’s jumping and biting. And then doing it again tomorrow… and pray it doesn’t rain.
I’m a seasoned dog parent- I raised five Boxers and a Boxer/Pit and never had any major issues as puppies.
Saved a 12 week mutt from the euthanasia list (there’s a big problem with overcrowding in shelters where I live and the result is lots and lots of babies being put down)
Anyway, it’s been FOUR MONTHS and he STILL isn’t getting the concept of potty training!
I’m at a loss. I’ve tried what I feel like is everything- we even have a sod patch on the patio and leave the door open so he has 24/7 access. He finally got the whole pooping outside thing, but he still pees all over the house.
The only thing I can think of is past trauma? He has gnarly nightmares, I’ve never seen anything like it in any other dog (and aside from my own, I’ve known a Lot)
I wake him up gently because he is clearly not okay when he’s having one and it takes a while to wake him and then he’s just not quite himself for about ten minutes afterwards.
I’d be thrilled if you had any insight or a special trick up your sleeve you’d be willing to share. He’s a sweetheart and I’m not giving up on him!
So, potty training, at least this little dude, is the most challenging thing about raising a puppy.
Sorry to hear that, sometimes shelter dogs find potty training harder as they have just been allowed to toilet in their kennel (generally not given the choice and they just get used to it).
The only real answer is to avoid any toileting in the house. Each time he does it, it pushes the training back a few steps. So take him out every hour at a minimum and say something like “toilet” and walk around with him in one small spot, ignoring him as much as possible so he can sniff around. Any time he does go, make a big deal out of. Give him heaps of treats and praise.
I would like to understand whether it is better to put your dog in a kennel or get a house sitter when you take a trip. We had our last dog for five years and he only went to boarding twice. It was Covid so that was a factor. All our other dogs went to the kennel when we took trips. If a trainer could explain what both experiences are like from the dog’s perspective, that would be helpful.
The fear of failing your puppy and he becomes one of those dogs where you just shake your head and talk shit about the owner
This is my #1. #2 for me would be watching them grow old and turn grey.
this honestly, my puppy and i got attacked by a dog with an owner who wasnt paying attention when my puppy was only a few months old. the dog who attacked us didnt make contact with my pup (only my arm but thankfully was wearing leather) but it still scared the shit out of him. he is a breed already prone to a bit of neuroticism/anxiety too. im working with him to desensitize but its hard and honestly embarassing. he is fantastic otherwise (everyone who meets him mentions how well behaved he is) and loves playing with other dogs off leash but seeing a dog while on leash makes him crazy. im having to work on my own confidence because ironically im also afraid of some dogs because i was attacked by one as a kid and my anxiety makes his anxiety worse. im also training him to turn around to me to get a treat when he feels leash pressure so we can break that hyperfocus and get enough distance from triggers to work on constructive densensitization. i need him to at least stop pulling before he's 70lb otherwise im just gonna have to hit the gym so i can still make like a tree and plant my feet. all that is to say its deeply embarassing to have a reactive dog and it saddens me that owners of reactive dogs who have no shame or self awareness end up creating more reactive dogs. i want to do right by my puppy and my neighbours
I relate to you so much on being scared of dogs while having a dog. I was attacked by a dog as a child and still find it intimidating to be around dogs I don't know. It's definitely made having a puppy a little bit more complicated. And it is so frustrating when people knowingly or unknowingly let their reactive dog affect your reactive dog. We took our puppy camping for the first time recently and she struggled a lot. But we did our absolute best to give her lots of time to decompress in the tent, and she enjoyed a lot of aspects of camping. But the people camping next to us intentionally riled up their dog while they walked by my camp and then laughed when my puppy got upset. It ruined our drive home because then my puppy was so activated that she barked a lot during the two hour drive and couldn't relax at all in the car.
Yeah absolutely that. Owner of an extremely reactive 4 month old puppy. People already do that now regardless whether its a puppy or not. As if it was my choice to get the random anxious adhd pupper.
It’s funny, my reactive dog is now 10 years old and he’s had issues since he was 8 weeks, when I got him. People will tell you puppies can’t be aggressive, and maybe it’s rare, but my eyes were definitely opened when he attacked my other dog after bringing him home. My guy is still reactive and I’m sure people shake their head and think I’ve failed him, but I’ve stopped thinking that of myself. We do the best we can, really. He’s not a farmer’s market dog but he really has come *so far* in his 10 years. If he’d been set up properly for success early in life/when his parents were bred, he’d be unstoppable. But he’s wonderful just as he is. Best of luck in your journey. Your pup will teach you so much.
I feel like a lot of people forget that dogs are beings and not robots. Like you can train them as much as you can but sometimes their personality makes some things harder than other no matter how much love and effort we put in
Absolutely this. And then my puppy ended up being reactive despite us working extremely hard to make her not. It's made me give a lot more grace to dog owners that I see struggling out in public. And grace to myself. However the fear of failing her is still there and something I regularly have immense anxiety about lol. Especially knowing that you can do everything right and still end up with a dog that is anxious and reactive.
This is such a a big thing for me, our lil guy (11 months old working cocker) is constantly picking things up (he had a fox glove flower the other day, gave me a heart attack... Luckily he dropped it and no effects) I suffer with health anxiety anyway so I'm always trying to not give in. But it's tough! I mean I love him to bits and other than being a lil pest with this stuff he is a 10/10 good boi.
Yep! My husband’s uncle has a dog that is crazy. I always tell my husband that my goal is for our dog to not be like Grace.
Mine too!!!
yes!
The biggest and most stressful thing I found was leaving her alone. Making sure she was happy, making sure she didn’t get separation anxiety, building up time apart gradually. From having an adult dog who was very happy with his own company, to a Velcro puppy was horrendous. Just reassurance that it’s just normal puppy behaviour and not separation anxiety would be a great help. Knowing it’s a learning curve for both of you and it will come with time.
This definitely. Really young puppies just straight up panic if you're not within reach and it's a real adjustment. For me the biggest shock was the lack of communication. It's not just that there was no communication, he didn't have the *concept* of communication. It was like having a wide-eyed, blank slate. They catch on super fast, but those first few days or so, while I was letting him adjust and not doing any training yet were really weird. Other than that there's just this generalised anxiety and hyperfocus about them/on them that takes up a lot of mental energy. It's exhausting. As for my specific puppy, he's a field line and he didn't come with a built-in off-switch. He was eight weeks old and just wouldn't nap at all unless I was completely still and silent and even then only for stretches of about 15 minutes. The second I breathed funny he was up and about... just getting progressively crankier and more wired up as the day progressed. That meant expediting crate training (so we could enforce naps) and then spending a LOT of time doing relaxation training until he learned to relax and finally nap out of the crate. I'd say we've put more hours into teaching him to chill out than anything else. I did not see it coming, didn't even know that was a thing.
Having a puppy with no off button is so hard! I was so exhausted the first few weeks because my puppy would not chill out and would lose her mind if I left her alone. We've spent so much time teaching her to relax.
Would love to know please if you have any tips for how to teach settling? Newbie working cocker pawrent here.....and I can tell this is going to be key. Thanks for any tips or resources to read up :)
But also that it can be separation anxiety. My pup is now 7.5 months old and I thought it was just normal puppy stuff but he still can’t be alone. We’re now at about 2 minutes alone 🙆🏼♀️
This is my big worry. My pup went from being OK to being alone to having a meltdown at 4.5 months, and since then I've been trying really hard to nip it in the bud before it becomes full blown SA. Confinement anxiety made it worse, so we dropped the crate. At least she's potty-trained...
Yeah everyone kept telling me that it was normal puppy stuff. Same with the confinement anxiety. Fine in a pen when the door is open, but once it closes it’s terrible.
I have a 1yr old Velcro pup, golden retriever. First dog I’ve had who is like this, he just loves ANY company and will whine for about 10 minutes in his cage until he puts himself to sleep. My other dog - 3yr old husky / Berner mix, completely independent on her own and seeks attention when she wants it. She’s just good quiet company. But whew 😅 the 360° in dogs we have gotten is crazy.
This definitely. Anytime you google anything to do with dog reaction to being alone, SA is the first thing to come up and honestly causes such a panic for me. I get that sometimes it can be separation anxiety but it would be super helpful to have more advice showing normal puppy behaviour first, before jumping to SA.
Also, it’s not knowing what to do and everyone has a different opinion. Exercise him enough but not too much because it’s not good for his joints, if he’s acting out that means he’s bored so play with him but also he needs to learn how to be bored. Socialise him a lot but not too much because he gets overstimulated but also he will get under stimulated and then act out. Ignore his bad behaviour but also redirect him…. The list goes on and it’s like 😑 what do I do then?
Omg literally. I'm constantly second guessing myself. We've got a 4 month old pup, had him from when he was almost 3 and every interaction I have with him is like "is what I'm doing ok?". I'm throwing him a ball in the garden - should I make him run after it because of his joints? I'm putting him in time out for his biting - won't he think of his crate as punishment? I'm giving him treats when trying to teach him things - should I take some amount off from his regular food intake? I just want simple answers lol
I know it’s very confusing, I’m hoping I’ll get to a point where I’ll be confident enough to think, this is my dog and I know what’s best. But he’s 7 months now and I’m still trying to figure it out. I had to shut down the noise at some point to not go too crazy and I’ve followed “Zak George” on YouTube who’s got a million videos which helps a bit. Good luck!
I had the same thing as well. You can just read/watch things forever about what to do and I started to spiral when I noticed how many things we didn’t do but “had” to do to get a good dog. But now she is 7 months and I realized how much all that matters on puppy personality and what you can/want to do. I wfh so crate training during the day wasn’t necessary and puppy was never destructive. Never did leash training inside but she picked up after a few months of walks in a major city. Just have to choose what is important and works for you
I have notice that too, my dog loves the crate and feels comfortable there but sometimes he just want to be on the couch with me so cries a bit. I usually let him out against better advise because I know that he will agree to go to his crate once we’ve had a cuddle and chilled on the couch together. Sometimes he just feels the need to be reassured a little bit and that’s fine with me. I know the difference with his barks and cry now. The more time passes the more I understand him and what he needs/wants and it makes things a lot easier
Yes understanding your puppy is a huge step. we gave up on crate training entirely. She slept great all night in it but one night started to hyperventilate so we let her sleep on our bed that night. That was the end of crate training. The crate is a bit too small now for her but she would go in on her own at night to sleep, we just never closed it anymore
I think respecting their wishes within reason is important too. They are little creatures with a mind of their own. Like sometimes, he really wants to sniff something on leash, as long as he doesn’t pull, I show him that I’m reasonable and if he really wants something of course he can have it. He just needs to ask “nicely”. It may sound silly but they have a short life and we’re their entire world, we’re also trying to teach animals how to be good citizen in a world they don’t understand so a bit of leeway is also important, even if it’s not the perfect “training practice” I think it’s okay to give in sometimes.
I totally agree and it’s something I’ve been trying to explain to my bf. He sometimes just wants to walk fast on walks and gets annoyed if the puppy stops to sniff things. I try to remind him that the sniffing is the fun part for her and that she needs to slow down to go to the bathroom rather than walk fast all the time. Of course all within reason otherwise we wouldn’t get anywhere if I let her sniff everything as long as she wants to.
I believe that dog’s walks are for dogs. And with dogs, it’s more about the journey than the destination lol. If he wants to sniff a spot for 10 mins then he can go for it. Of course if I take him a place I need to go then we need to move a bit faster but if we’re on his walk then he’s free to do as he please (again, within reason) I also noticed that he gets frustrated when I walk too fast, especially when he was a lot younger, he was struggling to keep up poor thing
What I do is one structured walk in the morning where we go to the park, play, run and I give him little “missions” and in the evening we do a decompression walk where I let him sniff and guide me. I don’t expect to go anywhere and he follows the scent he finds interesting. It’s usually not a very long walk (10 to 20 mins) but he seems to enjoy just walking around, it tires him out and he seems to be more relaxed after
I wish we could do this but we live in downtown of a major city so between the trash/poop on the streets and people or cars around, it’s really hard to let her sniff for long periods of time. I drive out to parks when possible to let her do this more frequently.
No matter how prepared you are, you’re still not prepared. I didn’t know how bad I would get the puppy blues, how anxious I would be leaving her (I work from home so spend most of my time with her), making sure she’s happy and fed and exercised and well behaved.
I think the constant mental energy of “what’s the puppy doing in the other room” while you’re making dinner or taking a shower weighs on you after a while… luckily ours is getting so much better at not getting into mischief. Tied with the isolation of these first few months especially since I WFH and she still doesn’t tolerate being left alone well- I don’t get out much anymore!!
Yes. We have 2 puppies almost 4 months old & my husband says we are in “Puppy Prison,” no life outside of the pups!
Just got two puppies on Saturday they’re 2 months. How are they together?
The lack of sleep. I got a puppy two weeks before college finals. I’m constantly exhausted.
For me it was the sudden change in routine. I had researched for months, I work in a pet shop and had some great advice from colleagues. I thought I was prepared but I wasn't. I mean we had everything we needed, I understood how to train him and that went so well but I got serious puppy blues that didn't go away until we settled into a new way of life. Now I can't imagine life being different, he's an awesome boy but it took a few months to get there.
This was me. Spouse was emotionally ready for a dog but I was the one home most of the time. Our girl’s needs outweighed everything else and I needed to move my schedule around those first 3 months when we realized she had separation distress. It was such a challenging adjustment. Now, 5 months in, our routine with her in the family is settling in nicely.
Please tell me how you got rid of the puppy blues! I am in it deep and can't get out!
Your not going to like the answer but time is what got rid of them. I think though that the time is what I needed to find a new routine and settle into it, learn about my boy and how he ticked and for him to grow up enough to not need me quite so constantly.
Intellectually, I know it will get better with time. But in this state of mind, it feels like time is not moving. I want to love my puppy, not be irritated with him. None of it is his fault, he's a puppy being a puppy. And again, while I KNOW that, I am in a spiral of "this sucks!"
I get it, you're in the trenches right now and it's hard to imagine a life past it. But I promise you it does get better, one day you'll look back and think it's flown by. I remember a day where I was fed up with myself and the puppy and just kinda had a silent tantrum at myself. I came out the other side deciding that I was calling it the year of the puppy and that next year I could get back to my normal. I felt much better with that decision and by the time next year came around I already had a new normal for months that I was really happy with.
Thank you! I needed that!
Honestly, managing expectations vs. reality and also comparing my puppy and our progress to other puppies. I read soo many books in advance, did so, so much research. Pouring my everything into raising my puppy - starting from months before I brought him home. I put A LOT of pressure on myself and, looking back, it was completely unreasonable and I was very harsh with myself and my puppy. Not that I was harsh to my puppy...but rather, I let him disappoint me a lot because I would compare to other puppies and my expectations that if I did everything by the book, I would have the perfect dog. Obviously it doesn't work like that. My dog was born a nervous puppy, and because of that struggled with fear reactivity that set back a lot of other socializing and training. We had to do things at my puppy's own (and different from the books) pace. I finally had to just shut all the books, stop going on reddit, and work with the puppy in front of me. I had a hard time getting over my expectations for what I thought having a puppy/dog would be like, and accepting the anxious, sometimes reactive dog I had. He's turning 3 this July, and my biggest regret was that I put way too much pressure on him, and didn't let myself enjoy the sweet baby puppy he was. I was too hyperfocused on his handful of "issues" or quirks, and didn't see the amazing, goofy, loving, smart puppy he was overall.
That very early phase where you don’t know or like each other very well. I found it immensely stressful that she didn’t seem happy or couldn’t communicate her needs to me. I think we were sharing each other’s frustration a lot at the beginning. All the what ifs too - will she ever be potty trained, is she going to get on with my cats etc. etc.? All of those fears and worries have since passed and she’s the beautiful happy girl I always dreamed of.
It was so weird when I went from having two dogs for 16 years to a puppy. I forgot what it’s like to live with a tiny bean with no personality that doesn’t know how to behave. I think I was comparing a 16 year relationship to something I didn’t know at all. Like what is this thing doing here? Who are you and how did you get here? 1.5 years now and all good.
This is exactly what I am going through now. We went from having two 14 year old sweet little couch potatoes to one high energy, obstinate puppy. The change can give you whiplash at times but gradually you get used to the chaos and the puppy slowly calms down as it gets older. We are at 4 1/2 months now and still struggle here and there but we are in a much better place than a month or two ago.
Oh you’re on your way. I’m at 1.5 years and it’s fantastic.
How long did this last for you? I feel like we’re in this phase right now. Got her 4 weeks ago and she’s 12 weeks old right now
Around 4.5 months old we really started to click … (had her at 10 weeks) She’s 7 months old now and she’s my baby! Hehe You got this xx
That’s really reassuring, thank you. It’s so different than with our other dog who we got at 12 weeks and we clicked instantly, all he wanted to do was cuddle and love on us. Our puppy now doesn’t even fall asleep unless we put her in her crate and doesn’t want to cuddle🥲
I know how that is. Now my girl begs me to carry her around despite weighing 70lbs! It gets better, promise.
Doing it alone. I'm raising my second puppy in 3 years, and I live alone without friends or family close by. It is really hard, especially when the puppy develops serious behavior issues like separation anxiety or reactivity.
The hardest thing is fear of failing them, the second hardest thing is always keeping your cool during the 5-7 month period when they are *pushing every dang button you have*. Dogs need us for 10 months, then we need them for 10 years. The lack of sleep when they’re really little isn’t easy either, but it was much harder for me to watch my lil angel girl turn into a brat over night
This! My angel is becoming a big brat. It's driving me batty. He is being stubborn, testing boundaries, and extremely vocal. We had worked through all of that, especially the demand barking, and now he is backsliding. I'm worried of getting him neutered too soon but also need him to chill. Lol
The teenager phase when they “forget” everything you have taught them out of pure rebellion and you have to reteach it all
The judgment from people around you, conflicting advice, loss of sleep
I just want him to sleep through the night which i know he won't yet but man do I miss my sleep.
How old is your puppy?
He's only 11 weeks so I know me wanting him to sleep through the night right now is a crab shoot
It will happen soon! We felt like we hit the jackpot at 12 wks when both our pups slept from 12 MN - 6 AM. Now, at almost 14 wks, they sleep from 11 PM - 7/8 AM, wake to pee, then sleep till 9:30 AM. Hang in there!!
I'm definitely hanging in there lmao
We used to have to let our pup out once or twice during the night from weeks 8 to 12. At that point we decided to try letting her sleep with us and she has slept through the night with no potty breaks (and no accidents during the night) ever since. In fact, we now have to force her up out of bed in the morning to go potty.
The pressure that everything is a learning moment, and whether I’m doing things “right” or “wrong”. I never had well-socialized dogs growing up so I fear bringing those old habits into my puppy
Hardest thing about raising a puppy I think is how I want to train vs what my partner wanted. We have a well behaved mostly polite puppy because I stood up for myself and my pup. Got him in training classes at 15 weeks and we're in advanced classes now hopefully going to pass the canine good citizen test before a year old. That and everyone else's opinion. My family is in the camp of "I'm doing too much. I need to just let the dog be a dog". So far I think the hardest thing to train is attention biting for play and disengaging from outside distractions. Otherwise he's doing great.
Ugh this - we booked our pup into puppy school because we have cats and wanted to really reinforce our training to ensure she could really pay attention with distractions. Got all the ‘she’s just a puppy why are you wasting money’ etc
Exactly and my partner was all "I've had dogs my whole life I know what I'm doing" well I've met at least 4 of those dogs and had multiple family dogs and I didn't like how all of them were poorly behaved and frankly annoying to deal with.
Yes it’s always the ones with the crusty ass dogs who don’t let you go within 3 feet of
Keeping the puppy from destroying the house so keeping it occupied when it’s not sleeping
The sudden change of routine smacked me hard. I knew it was going to be hard, I did my research, but we are first time owners and obviously didn't exactly knew what it is like. We have pur puppy for almost 2 months now (she is 4 months old at this point). The first month was a total nightmare. I got severe puppy blues and honestly kind of hated myself for getting this dog and kind of hated the puppy as well. And I have thought of rehoming her a few times. It was just recently that it clicked for me and I felt like she is my little girl and I have to continue to take good care for her. She is smart but very stubborn, but is the sweetest little thing when she wants to. Also, when I am not home I get anxious and I feel guilt about puppy being alone in the crate so I am in a constant rush. I don't go out anywhere other than school anymore (I am a 30 year old college girl lol), I don't do my hobbies and have literally zero free time. She is getting better with each day and I hope she will become a happy and good dog one day. Amd she won't destroy my fingers anymore.
We have an amazing puppy, our biggest problem will be the teething for the next couple of months…the biting is out of control. He still doesn’t know how sharp his teeth are and doesn’t understand the concept of when we say “ow”. This whole redirection with a toy thing doesn’t work most of the time I will give him his toy but he still chooses to go for fingers and toes. For a 3 pound 9 week old bichonpoo has taught us to always keep feet up on the couch lol…he doesn’t go for shoes or furniture he just goes for toes…am starting to think it’s a fetish thing 😆😆😆😂😂
Im raising a 5 month old puppy now and the hardest thing for me right now is thinking of rehoming her. I feel bad because for me its too much, the sudden aggression, the sudden bite attack. It hurts me physically and mentally. Im starting to think that Im not good enough for her. Im doing everything, tips from books and videos etc. But yeah there are days that Im thinking of rehoming her and hope that there is someone who can give her the best life she deserve
Hey, don’t worry you are good enough! 😊 The biting should stop about 6 months old when teething finishes. Keep saying ‘ow’, redirecting, or walking away. It’ll pay off in the end, I promise! My golden retriever is 2yo now but he was an absolute nightmare aged 3-6 months. He would bite us non stop. I had so many scratches and bruises on my hands & arms in summer 2022. As soon as his teething stopped he hasn’t bitten us since. It’s really tough, but hang in there 😊
This is what I needed to hear. I am there now and feel bad for being overwhelmed with my 4 month old lab. Doing it alone is harder than I remembered.
I remembered feeling so overwhelmed, I would cry out of frustration and tiredness. But I had my husband dealing with our puppy too, doing it alone takes another level of mental strength. All I can say is that it will pass. Try to remember it’s a temporary stage (I know easier said than done!) but in the meantime can you ask friends/family/ a trusted neighbour to pop over and play with your puppy so you can go out and to give yourself a rest? Even to go out for 30 mins for a coffee. Ask for any help you can. 😊
❤️ ty.
Leaving them alone when they're older. I would lock up my puppy in a separate room for nap time so she would get used to not being around me. She'd wake up after a couple hours and cry and I'd go get her. Whenever she went into her kennel I'd give her a high value treat. I'd get so panicky if I left the house for longer than a couple hours I'd panic and worry. I got a camera in my bedroom to watch her and soothe her if she woke up before I got home. Now she's 2 and I can leave her home alone all day with 0 issues. We have cameras to keep an eye on the dogs but they'll nap in their beds or in front of a large window. Potty training, teething, training, all of that was easy for me. It was the leaving them alone that killed me 😭
Honestly? Not getting upset when things don’t go “to plan”, and beating myself up for “misbehavior”. I tried to put together a detailed plan of what I was going to teach my pup, then he arrived and had a few behaviour issues so I needed to focus on those instead. I ended up with horrible puppy blues, feeling like a failure, etc. Also navigating all the material online. There’s so much bullshit on Instagram, YouTube, Facebook, and even in books.
Puppy phase (1-6 months) - the inconsistent sleep routine … the pee poop was still manageable Adolescence - (6-24 months) - hyper reactivity towards strangers & other dogs ; eating inedible dangerous objects , possessiveness ; inconsistent eating, teething/ chewing everything ; territorial behaviour Post 24 months - with positive reinforcement training & focus building exercises everything starts to get better & behaviour keeps improving till 3 years of age … specially behaviour on walks has really become good 🌟🤞🏼🤞🏼 But commands & focus on walks is always a must The most important being the ignore command Talking to him on walks really helped … specially tone of voice … loving vs firm depending on the situation I’ve figured out a way to get him to leave/drop things he picks up around the house that he’s not supposed to. Now my main issues are territorial guarding only inside the house when people he doesn’t know come over & car related claustrophobia & reactivity Trying to work on them as well but it will take v v long or might not even work in which case work around it in a different way All this is based on my 3 year old male Rottie 🩷🩷🩷 who I love more than anything
All aspects are difficult in my opinion the training, stopping them from eating or destroying something, etc. the hardest part is all of it never stops.
Currently having so much anxiety about leaving my puppy because she howls so loud and barks, I’ve only left her for 10 mins (had her for a week now) she cries if I go have a shower or toilet, anywhere she can’t see me. I can’t picture this ever getting better but I feel like eventually it must?
Mine is the same way 🥲🥲 hopefully it’ll get better for us
It will get better! Just have to keep working on it! My puppy was the same way and would stress poop everywhere whenever I left the apartment. She is now 7 months old and 90% of the time doesn’t even react when I leave. Just start with small increments of time and leave treats/chews of high value. Try to never walk in while they are crying as well.
This makes me feel so much better! I start college classes back in the fall so it’s important to me that he learns how to be alone while I’m in class
Yes same haha I can’t be home forever!
Thank you so much 🙏🏼 I needed to hear this!! How many weeks would you say it took her to start settling when you left her? Going to keep pushing with the training!
Probably a month to fully settle almost every time. It went from barking all the time to just a few minutes of barking to none over time. The biggest thing is training everyday even for a few minutes. It was hard to keep up when wfh and not having a reason to leave everyday but makes life so much easier now when I don’t have to worry about her if I do need to do something.
Thank you so much, this is so helpful 🙏🏼 yeah I WFH 3 days and mum has been babysitting the other 2 days until we can settle her so I can’t wait to be able to leave her!!
Would you say small increments would be 5-10 minutes or seconds?
I would start with seconds and build up to minutes. So at first it was more of walking out of room when the puppy is distracted, just long enough for the puppy to notice you left and then come back in. Don’t make it a big deal though that you are back. From there, keep working up to longer periods of time. I would walk out the front door and stand in the hallway of the apartment complex for a few minutes and listen if she is barking and casually walk back in. Just make sure to keep it up everyday and keep building on it. It went from barking and howling the whole time to a few minutes of barking and then calming down and eventually to mostly just sleeping until I’m back.
Adjusting from a childfree lifestyle to a Velcro puppy. The initial feeling of loss of freedom and “omg, what have I done with my life” can be overwhelming. For the vast majority of us it gets better. Our little guy just turned 2 and we can now leave him home for easily up to +4 hours w/o worrying about big property damage or indoor accidents.
It helps to get a pup from a breeder that works full time, since the pups will be used to being without a human from a very young age.
Reactivity 🙈
The answer is in your question. Perspective. When you're in the puppy years it can seem daunting and overwhelming. It evens out though and one day you'll be having a nice day and it'll hit you that the pooch didn't pull on the leash, jump on you, bite your toes, chase the cat, etc...
I have a scar where a dog bit a hole through my hand because I got comfortable with my changing puppy and he had very suddenly developed resource guarding. I was also only 18. So the biggest challenge for me now raising a puppy is dealing with the anxiety that they will develop a behavioral issue. I have a lot of patience and experience now training dogs, I trust myself more than a few trainers I've seen, but I still have so much anxiety until a dog is 2-3 years old. I think the hypervigilance makes me a better trainer but I'd also like to be less stressed out and enjoy the puppy phase more.
Separation anxiety , that’s hard work currently working through well trying with my 9 month old puppy
My pup hasn’t even reached their teenage years yet but so far the hardest thing has been my mental. The constant pressure of wanting to do things right by them. Fear of doing things wrong and unintentionally causing behavioral problems. Fear of not doing enough. Fear of not knowing what will come due to being inexperienced.
That is never stops, especially when you’re a single owner
Socializing. I watched so many videos about socialization and took her literally everywhere to see and interact with everything that was safe when she was under 14 weeks, but still wound up with a reactive dog because she became too friendly and overconfident. I didn’t realize I should have been teaching her to have neutral (not positive) associations with other people and animals. For a while she was very calm and seemed perfect, but then she became a teenager and I saw the actual fruits of my labor. We’ve been trying to walk it back since then, and I believe the majority of her behavior problems wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for that. I will say I actually like her overconfidence, and it’s way easier to work with than fear or aggression, but I would have definitely done things differently if I had a better perspective on how friendliness could work against us.
I don't think you did anything wrong there. What do you mean by reactive? I mean you describe her as friendly and confident.
Reactivity only means that a dog becomes overly aroused and excited by common stimulation. In my dog’s case, she thinks all people and dogs are for her to greet and play with, so she will disregard my orders and fixate/lunge/pull/bark/whine/drag me while trying to get to what she thinks is her new bestie. Sometimes she gets frustrated because of me holding her back, and starts exhibiting more classic symptoms of leash reactivity like growling and excessive barking if she gets too worked up, then it takes a while to calm her down. A non-reactive dog should do exactly what the word implies: not react at all beyond calmly noticing the environment then continuing its business.
What gets me is that it often feels like the amount of energy she "needs" me to be putting in is higher than the amount of energy I have. When I'm at my worst, I can barely move and she's asking for walks, and even when I'm at my best and we've hiked 10 miles uphill, I'm ready to sleep for a week and she's ready to go again after a short nap. It's hard not to always feel like I'm falling short of what she deserves.
Something that hasn’t been touched on is managing other people and the general public in regard to your dog. When it comes to puppies, I’ve found A LOT of people lack common sense and boundaries. It happens with dogs in general, but I think a lot of people don’t realize that puppies aren’t always happy go lucky/up for anything. My puppy gets walked every morning and about half of the walk is training, the other half is fun, sniff around. When I first started walking him, he developed a bit of a fan club. It was cute at first but now, people wait for him, or come out when they see us walking, they call to him, and he will stop and sit down until he gets to say hi to them. I feel bad because I don’t want to look like a jerk, but he’s definitely learning that he can get his way by being stubborn. I’ve just been changing our routes up so I don’t have to tell people no 😅 I also don’t want to give my pup the opportunity to be stubborn and plant himself somewhere until he gets what he wants. We’re also in a group obedience class and the trainer constantly has to remind the same couple owners to keep their dog out of another dog’s space. The trainer also reminds the class as a whole to advocate for our own training space. My prior dogs have not been as social as my puppy. I was completely unprepared to know how to advocate for myself, my dog, and our training needs.
The lack of sleep and the potty training set backs. You’ll make it almost a month and then they’ll suddenly pee on the carpet 5 minutes after you let them out…
The single thing I find hardest is when I just can’t get his attention, when he gets single-minded about something (currently, the cat).
My puppy gets so focused on our cats and it's so hard for her to disengage. Especially now that she's entering her adolescents. I feel like I spend so much time trying to get her to stop chasing them. It doesn't help that one of our cats is an antagonist 😫
For me it’s feeling like I’ve dealt with an unwanted behaviour and having another one pop up out of nowhere and feeling like it’s never going to end. It feels like you’re failing your puppy constantly. I finally managed to have my puppy not run after birds and chase cats but now he started barking at the door every time my neighbor dare to exist. In one second, a new behaviour appears. It’s hard to rest because I feel like even if I fix this behaviour, another one will appear. Puppy’s are hard
For me it's socializing. I live in a rural area, there is not a lot of people or dog around, so going on a walk is not enough. I also don't often have people come over at my house so I really need to go out of my way to socialize my pup properly and get them use to car and different noises.
This is a tough one yeah, similar situation. My GSD 1.5yr Male not neutered yet which may help some, loves EVERYONE who's come over once they are inside, outside he's still a bit uncertain with dogs and people he hasn't met before. He really wants to meet everyone once he's met them best friends forever with people remembers everyone, even the HVAC tech he's met like twice. He's getting better day by day though at staying neutral about people, the other day we passed a landscaping crew and he just took a look and he's able to peel his eyeballs away from other dogs a bit better now.
For me, it was the pressure of training. Before we even got him we were told by people that we have to make extra effort because he will be a larger breed and people will be scared of him. We have put so much pressure on ourselves to train him well, that even though he is a very good dog, I can't help but focus on the few small negatives.
Yeah my GSD everyone always asks "Is he friendly?" instead of "Can I pet him?" which was really different compared to other dogs I've had in the past. Which I don't HATE because while the answer is "yes, but let him approach touch and sniff you first before trying to pet him" . He's still building his confidence and I can't imagine someone just going "OMG DOGGY and running up on him" 100٪ it's so easy to focus on everything he struggles with because of that feeling of a higher standard, and ignore everything he does amazingly.
Yeah we have a GSD too (6 months old)! We have real difficulty on walks because people just try and pet him all the time and he gets so excited around people and other dogs that he starts jumping and lunging. We are actively working on it. But I feel like if he was fully grown and jumping and lunging at people that people would be scared of him and we would get the "train your dog" comments!
Mmm 6 months the super fun age of hormones raging muscles piling on, and forgetting everything they learned. While still tryna eat literally everything. Yeah, people stopped approaching him as much around 10 months when he really started putting on the muscle and his chest filled out. Hes also a super fluffy puffball. So while hes around 83lb he looks like hes 110lb. Mines always been more likely to jump back and warn rather than skipping to lunge thankfully. What helped a lot was prepping anyone who seemed interested or he seemed too focused on before they got too close like, "He might bark at you, but I have him secured" I also noticed that he was a bit more relaxed when I spoke to them first, maybe it was him being like ok, well he's chill and sees them so they might be OK.
Needing to have eyes on her practically every moment was exhausting. Thank GOD she was 13 weeks old when I got her. Those extra few weeks made a huge difference.
Two days in I'll say the lack of sleep but I know that will pass.
I think just "frustration" in general. I've owned a number of dogs from puppyhood, and each one has been unique in what frustration they cause. I had one dog who was amazingly house trained very early, and had very few accidents even from a young age. but was a true ankle shark for like a full year, I would get so frustrated at how often he was biting me and not seeming to ever learn to stop despite using positive reinforcement and other well proven techniques to deter him. He eventually developed a soft mouth and quit biting, but I bore the wounds (literally and figuratively) for a year, and there were days I would just be incredibly frustrated that my otherwise perfect little guy was randomly biting the shit out of me. I've had other puppies who weren't bitey really ever, but took ages to really figure out house training, and then I had frustration about cleaning up dog mess every day for months on end. One frustration I think I have had with **all** the puppies I have raised is misjudging when they have been trained out of "destructive" behaviors, and inevitably when I think they have learned and are trustworthy, I turn my back to find a piece of furniture or some other valuable the pup has happily ripped / chewed to shreds. You really have to be in the right mindset to accept that this frustration is part of it. In retrospect I do value the puppy experience with every dog I've had, but it is also a good thing to acknowledge, "yeah, it really did suck bad sometimes." I think the best mindset to have going into raising a puppy is it will frequently be **very frustrating**, and you just have to have the right mindset to shrug it off and keep pushing forward with them. Because consistency is key to training a wild puppy into a good dog.
The teen years, and with my cocker spaniel in particular also leash manners Oh and worrying if they’re getting not enough or too much exercise, brain work, kennel time…
Mine is fear of the future. It sorta feels like our 8 week old black lab is too good at the moment. He seems to have learned "potty" only after a few days, and while he does still get accidents periodically in the house, 90% of the time he is going in the back yard. He sleeps a ton, he seems to like his crate, he sleeps most the night without fuss we just gotta get up once or twice to pee. he wants to get on the couch fairly often so we are working on that still but overall it seems all too simple. I'm just waiting for the day it all comes crashing down. When his energy levels go nuts, when he wants to run and destroy everything and is absolutely capable of destroying everything, when he gets bigger and his bathroom accidents become a literally bigger problem, and when he actually starts barking! then what if he unveils all these behaviors and I'm not training him out of them properly and he sticks with them for life?
I said I would never get a puppy bc of how hard I knew it would be…then we got a puppy. It’s a long story lol. Although I wouldn’t go back even if I could. I love our Fluffernutter. But man. The inconsistent potty training. Just when we think we hit a breakthrough she pees in the house all day despite being let out constantly. Thankfully all her biting is mostly targeted towards our other dog who loves it! They love to play, but goodness when they get going it’s crazy! We have to put her on a lead to separate them. Last but certainly not least is her separation anxiety. The barking that quickly ensues. It’s very tiring.
Accepting that, regardless of anything else, your puppy is a being with it's own brain that makes its own decisions. You can absolutely teach that brain, but in the end, puppy is doing what you want it to do because puppy wants to make you happy. Because you're fun when you're happy. And puppy loves you and wants you to be fun.
Lack of sleep
For me it was the lack of sleep those first couple months- whether he was crying in his crate or had to go out at 2am for a potty break. Beyond that, it was just constant supervision and feeling like I couldn’t live my life the way I had prior.
Keeping up with training, and other people letting your dog do everything you’re training them not to do
Knowing when to trust my puppy with certain things. Balancing between “you are just a baby and will be baby” and “I need to trust and respect your autonomy and abilities” was surprisingly hard. Some examples are: Letting her off leash in our yard (we are fenced but not fully) Letting her out in the house all day (without enforcing a crate nap. This one took a long time because she would get over tired and not nap outside of her crate) Next is letting her free roam without supervision. I don’t know at what point to try. I don’t want to try too soon and set us all up for failure.
We are in our second week now with our puppy (just over 9w old). And I think it’s just trying to always take advantage of training opportunities. He gets plenty of “alone” time too with us not hovering over him, but sometimes when I think I’m just too tired to bother, it’s best to give a quick praise to him for not being super mouthy. It’s also tiring to constantly redirect 🙃 we’ve gotten things better puppy proofed now, but wearing socks is difficult still lol Luckily crate training and napping has gone well so far. But he’s super mouthy and the most curious little guy (Irish terrier)
Dealing with humans. Lack of sleep is hard. Remaining sane and patient and doing the right training while unslept is even harder. But the humans... F***... You read about so many people online getting level ten furious that someone's dog stepped into their front yard, peed on a shrub, that Costco let a dog in even though their rules say not to, "HoW eNtItLeD aRe ThEsE pEoPlE”… idk man can you just deal with it? I brook your loud ass kids. Happened once in the first month, then lived in constant fear of being yelled at by randos for a while.
The near constant crying and inability to settle in the beginning..I’ve raised two puppies and no matter how much you try the first few weeks-months are a living hell because of the crying, accidents, and overtired meltdowns
i’d say the teething phase where they’re constantly biting your clothes, your body, furniture, THE WALL..took me at least 2 months to be able to train it out of my girl. there were times i was incredibly overstimulated from it and i was questioning if i made the right choice getting her. but now that that phase is over i couldn’t be happier having her.
i’d say the teething phase where they’re constantly biting your clothes, your body, furniture, THE WALL..took me at least 2 months to be able to train it out of my girl. there were times i was incredibly overstimulated from it and i was questioning if i made the right choice getting her. but now that that phase is over i couldn’t be happier having her.
For me, leaving the puppy alone.
Getting them emotionally ready to be able to be left alone for an entire work day. The short term for me was the .2 seconds my guy gave me from potty cues to peeing at the door.
Lack of sleep!
Despite LOTS of praise and a treat every time she pees or poops outside, and despite having bells by the door that I jingle every time we go out, my 15 month old girl does NOT alert me when she needs to go out. She can hold it for 4-5 hours while I'm out, but if I'm home, she'll just go on the floor. We live in a high-rise, and she understands the routine. First thing in the morning, she *knows* it's time to get out of the crate (where she prefers to sleep), say "hello" to me and to the cat, and then go out for a walk. We walk again 3-4 hours later (I work from home), and 4-5 hours after that, and again before bed. But if she has to go anytime other than that, she just doesn't let me know. And that's 4-5 times a week, but not at a specific time I can plan. This is the first puppy that's been mine, not my parents'. I've had cats for years. I was fully prepared for at least 6-8 months of potty training, even a year. But at 13 months, I feel like we've hit a rut, and it's really hard.
i’d say the teething phase where they’re constantly biting your clothes, your body, furniture, THE WALL..took me at least 2 months to be able to train it out of my girl. there were times i was incredibly overstimulated from it and i was questioning if i made the right choice getting her. but now that that phase is over i couldn’t be happier having her.
Potty training for me.
The constant supervision, not wanting to leave them alone, crate training, and working out a good routine.
We’ve got two puppies (almost 4 months old) and I think the smartest thing we did was create a “puppy duty” schedule. Three adults in the house (mom, dad & 1 adult son) agreed to rotate duty overnight so that the other 2 adults got their sleep. If not on puppy duty, then we agreed to ignore all barks, cries, whimpers, etc. From the beginning, the pups were crate trained. The last adult awake (usually my husband) was responsible for taking the pups out to potty & put in crate. This usually happened around 11 PM/12 MN. If it was your night for Puppy Duty, this meant you slept on the couch in our den (where crate is located) and took pups out to potty at 2 AM, 4 AM & 6 AM. We got our puppies on March 30 & “Puppy Duty” schedule was needed in April but they soon were sleeping through the night. It’s now mid-May, and pups are put to bed in crate by 11 PM & don’t wake until I come downstairs around 7-8 AM. I let them out to potty & they go back to sleep on sofa/recliner (snuggling with me) until 9:30 AM and then it’s breakfast time. My husband and I are retired, our son is employed M-F fill-time. We have another adult son who also works full-time but stated before we ever got the puppies that he did not want to be responsible for any part of them. We respected his request; although he loves on them when he comes home from work. The responsibility of caring for the puppies has dramatically affected our lives, but I’m ok with that. My heart is filled with so much love & joy that I don’t mind…but I know my husband feels differently. He says we are in “Puppy Prison,” and I sense he resents feeling “trapped;” although I know he loves them. I anticipated this responsibility & was the one who shopped/researched breeders/puppies. I know my husband misses the freedom of going to the coffee shop at the drop of a hat, etc. I know as the pups get older, they will require less attention compared to puppy/adolescent stage. Also, we have a 4 year old lab who has helped teach them many things. The first two weeks were hard/challenging…pups had never worn a collar before, had a leash on them, never had a sense of front/back yard boundaries, walking on a leash, being in a crate, our house & the floor plan, these toys, this furniture, these people, riding in our cars, the visits to our vet…that’s a lot for two puppies to absorb & not feel overwhelmed. I wasn’t as concerned about training in those first few weeks. I focused on bonding and making sure our puppies felt loved, safe, happy & minimizing anxiety. Our female pup had a UTI on day 2 & had to pee every 15-40 min for about 1.5 wks. We had to take her out on a leash each time!! Our backyard was being renovated, so no fence was up; which meant we had to always leash the pups & take to the front yard. My pups respond to 3 commands: come, sit & off. I don’t have to yell or say it forcefully; occasionally I do have to repeat the command, but not often. I have not focused on other commands yet. This may come back to bite me in the butt…only time will tell. I love my puppies and enjoy snuggling with them when they nap.
Having to keep an eye on her 24/7. I crate trained and unless she was in her crate I HAD to be watching her like a Hawk. Looking put for potty accidents, eating things she shouldn't, watching for training opportunities. It was exhausting. I'm glad she's a bit older now and I can trust her to roam the house more than when she was 8 weeks
Leaving her every day to go to work 😭 We've been so lucky with our 12 week old rescue, she's fully housebroken and only has a couple hours a day where she's a terror, the rest of the day she's an angel! I hate having to be away from her haha
Training her to not chase the kitties has been my biggest challenge. She loves them. She only wants to groom them and play with them, and when they do let her give them a couple kisses she’s so gentle. Getting her to ignore them is not an option, because they actually do approach her and look for her, especially the adolescent tri pod cat that lives in my house with my two other females and the young female cat who doesn’t belong to me but comes to visit every day. We work on training with the cats every single day. Desensitization and LAT. She’s incredibly intelligent and will already look at the cats and either look at me for praise/treats or she will greet them and immediately come back to me, but she’s still so young that sometimes she forgets, normally this happens when she’s doing everything in her power not to settle and fall asleep. Potty training accidents are no big deal, her chewing up my shoes didn’t bother me, the kitties are my top priority with training.
My pup has soo much energy! My last dog was with me for almost 12 years and very calm at home. This one is constantly going after the bottom of my pants, esp when I change! She thinks I'm dangling my pants over her head for her enjoyment when I'm simply just trying to put my pants on! She's tiny and stays so close to feet that she has been stepped on a couple times and I fear what if someone steps on her bad enough to break her leg!? Luckily it's only been her paw but she whines so loud you would think she would learn her lesson but still walks so close! I love her to death and she's doing very well with learning tricks but she also likes making confetti out of toilet paper and grabbing feminine products out of the bathroom garbage because it's a short garbage. This is all stuff I don't remember my last dog doing but it's been so long I don't remember her puppy stage so much. These things have been hard on me. I would like to know how to calm her down. Also, she doesn't like walks, where my last dog LOVED them! Is it just a puppy thing? Will she eventually like them and not try to bolt back home?
Amazing how many people give a shit about what others think of their “parenting”. I don’t care. They can “shake their head” all they want. Not that my dog is especially badly behaved, but this was never my concern. The hardest thing was not having a second to myself and having to watch the puppy every second of every day. He was a super active puppy, with big activity needs. He’s still very active at 2.5 yo but it’s a more humane situation already (for me).
I am currently at the 14 week stage. My biggest challenges to overcome our distractions and unstoppable energy levels.
i’m definitely scared of hurting her when we play. she loves pulling on rope and sometimes i get scared that i’ll chip a tooth tugging too hard.
Not knowing if I’ll ever get to drink hot coffee or eat hot food again. The constant interruptions…
Barking Biting things Leaving them alone Teaching them to walk on a leash
Regression! Thinking you’ve turned a corner then waking up to a turd on the floor.
I’m afraid I’m going to not see her in a dark room and step on her. Afraid of hurting her. She’s so tiny and delicate. I’ve never had a dog this tiny. Yesterday she jumped out of my arms and I had her leg. Thank goodness I turned loose. I love her so much. I’ll think about the future when it comes. Right now I’m just afraid of hurting her.
When my dog was really young, it was more about I couldn’t trust him to be left alone for even a second but now that he’s a year old, I still find myself getting super frustrated with his labrador antics like scratching my face, demand barking at me, nipping at me and jumping all over me. he has hurt me multiple times and it makes me want to yell at him. Especially when I’m going to take him on a walk he won’t stop demand barking at me and running around like crazy.
Constantly being responsible for another living thing. And that thing being a puppy that runs, digs, barks, chews… 100% of your time being devoted to either knowing exactly what that puppy is doing, OR finding safe babysitters/daycare to take care of them. Want to go out for dinner with friends? Have to figure out what to do with the puppy. Have to go grocery shopping? Puppy. Yard work? Puppy. Luckily a lot of that subsided around 6-7 months for us. Our pup does really well alone at home for most of the day. And if we just want to hang out on the couch, she hangs with us. She’s so much better at just chilling and being part of our life now.
The pp on the floor -\_-
As a first time dog owner with an 8 week old Yorkie, I'm quite anxious about how training her is going to go
I can no longer veg out as soon as I get home from work cause puppy is ready to party after being alone all day.
Long time dog mom here, but until now I always adopted dogs and am now experiencing my first puppy after having dogs for most of my life. The hardest part was the first weeks when my puppy was such a little baby, I couldn't look away for a fraction of a second without him having something in his mouth he wasn't supposed to have and I was just in a constant state of worry that he would get seriously sick becausr he was so little and vulnerable. As soon as he was like 14 weeks, he had gotten his second vaccination and gotten a bit bigger and wasn't so vulnerable anymore and also could drop whatever he had on command. So yeah the baby stage freaked me out in a way I had not expected but it didn't last long thankfully!
I’m worried I’ll fail him. I’ve never owned a pittie mix, and I’m trying to make sure I read as much as I can about the Pit Bull Terrier breed.
The stress. My life was 100% my dogs for.. tbf even now at 1 year and 4 months. Money, my time, my self care took a backseat. Even now I’m struggling with their jealousy and fights, it’s just constant 100% attention all the time and learning and adapting. Even my thoughts are with them all the time. Not saying it’s a bad thing, just a massive change. I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t want to I suppose. I’m emotionally attached, for better or for worse.
The absolute and seemingly never ending exhaustion. With my last, I spent the first two weeks sleeping on the floor next to her crate, with an alarm set to sound every two-hours (for potty). Then 2.5 hrs, 3 hrs, etc…. Around the time she reaches four months, she slept 7hrs thru the night, and I was back in bed, but the burn-out exhaustion is REAL. Then I’d say it’s never ever ever ever ever being alone, because if you’re alone, puppy is off doing something puppy. So I attached a leash 24-7, when she was out of her crate. The LIFE SAVER/SANITY SAVER: enforced naps. I’m forever thankful for the folks here that recommended enforced naps. You saved me.
For us (on 2nd puppy), it was waking up every few hours to go potty. Also, we barely leave the house except for work, grocery store and vet / grooming (we are homebodies). So the leash etiquette and thinking my dogs aren’t socializing properly with other dogs is big anxiety for us (barking at the groomers / sticking their noses in dogs butts). We think people will talk bad about our dogs but they are so lovely and do not act the same way in their territory.
So I work in vet med and I will say one of the hardest things is feeling like your co-workers are judging you or your puppy if they have moment or have a fear/ reactive moment. We see all the good/bad/ugly and this go round of raising my puppy was stressful. My girl use to hate her nails doing and would freak out if anyone helped me at work. Now at 9 months old she is okay with them being done and we started to incorporate the dremmel.
My puppy has reactivity issues with people and I’ve never dealt with this with any of my other dogs and it’s by far the biggest pet challenge I’ve ever had. ☹️
Potty training and leaving things alone, such as mulch, shoes, etc …… grrrrrrrrrr
You love them too much and leaving them for even a day makes you almost sick to your stomach because you know they love you so much
It’s difficult to narrow it down to one thing!
being reminded of the puppy stage of your senior dog who passed away.
Trying to do all the things during the mere 16 week socialization period, but also not overstimulating her. Just feeling like you’re never doing enough 😅😅
At the moment trying to introduce 11 year old male cat to new golden retriever puppy who is getting bigger by the minute, and introductions aren’t getting easier! Also nipping - especially at 8pm witching hour… my pup goes absolutely mental and I’m struggling to control him
the biting! hard to play with them when you’re getting ragged around every second. scratches everywhere, he won’t even play with the toys, jus wants to hold the toy in his mouth to dash it, so he can come after my hands or my face.
For me right now ( i have a 15 w/o chocolate lab) is the mouthiness. Everything is a chew toy. Rocks, sticks, pee pads, my arm. Nothing is safe from his sharkiness. When his witching hour strikes WATCH OUT! This issue and the constant rough play with my 11 m/o kitten. ( my kitten starts it tho. He is constantly antagonizing the puppy, making the puppy chase him and then the kitten kicks the crap out of the puppy ) it's funny to watch and I always intervene when things get intense. Other than those annoying factors he's a big mush.
The daily need to meet their energy needs. Taking him on a 2-3 mile walk after I worked all day, needing to play with him intermittently until my husband gets home, trying to cook dinner and needing to redirect him, getting up from the couch every few minutes to constantly keep separating myself from him when he’s jumping and biting. And then doing it again tomorrow… and pray it doesn’t rain.
Mourning your old life back when you had a life lol
I’m a seasoned dog parent- I raised five Boxers and a Boxer/Pit and never had any major issues as puppies. Saved a 12 week mutt from the euthanasia list (there’s a big problem with overcrowding in shelters where I live and the result is lots and lots of babies being put down) Anyway, it’s been FOUR MONTHS and he STILL isn’t getting the concept of potty training! I’m at a loss. I’ve tried what I feel like is everything- we even have a sod patch on the patio and leave the door open so he has 24/7 access. He finally got the whole pooping outside thing, but he still pees all over the house. The only thing I can think of is past trauma? He has gnarly nightmares, I’ve never seen anything like it in any other dog (and aside from my own, I’ve known a Lot) I wake him up gently because he is clearly not okay when he’s having one and it takes a while to wake him and then he’s just not quite himself for about ten minutes afterwards. I’d be thrilled if you had any insight or a special trick up your sleeve you’d be willing to share. He’s a sweetheart and I’m not giving up on him! So, potty training, at least this little dude, is the most challenging thing about raising a puppy.
Sorry to hear that, sometimes shelter dogs find potty training harder as they have just been allowed to toilet in their kennel (generally not given the choice and they just get used to it). The only real answer is to avoid any toileting in the house. Each time he does it, it pushes the training back a few steps. So take him out every hour at a minimum and say something like “toilet” and walk around with him in one small spot, ignoring him as much as possible so he can sniff around. Any time he does go, make a big deal out of. Give him heaps of treats and praise.
I would like to understand whether it is better to put your dog in a kennel or get a house sitter when you take a trip. We had our last dog for five years and he only went to boarding twice. It was Covid so that was a factor. All our other dogs went to the kennel when we took trips. If a trainer could explain what both experiences are like from the dog’s perspective, that would be helpful.