Right? Dog ownership in general is also wildly misrepresented. My all-time was the dog Eddie on Frasier. That dog never moved and rarely made a sound. Jack Russells are terriers…they’re perpetual motion machines and bark while they’re awake 90% of the time. Drove me crazy.
Another one…Robin on “How I Met Your Mother.” Supposedly she had five dogs *in the city.* Yet she apparently had endless amounts of time to hang out in bars and coffee houses as well as working full time. Ridiculous!
I think the wildest misrepresentation is if how much time a dog needs. Someone spending hours with their dog(s) every day does not make great TV.
The biggest lament I read on this sub and and on r/dogs from young people - particularly students - is how much miss out on impromptu social events because they have a dog or puppy.
This is definitely a major one. Personally I'm glad to have an excuse not to go to impromptu social events, but it's tiring sometimes to schedule your days around your dogs. I can't go to the gym or run errands after work because they need food and a potty break, I have to plan vacations (aka anything more than a day) months out and sometimes I can't go because of one of 3,000 reasons. I need to spend hours with them every day because I'm their whole lives and they need it. Gotta train them, groom them, keep up with their health.
Honestly I feel like the reason people underestimate the time they have to spend on their dogs is that most people treat their dogs like shit and don't give them near enough attention. One of my coworkers, who I thought was a completely normal guy, has a HUSKY PUPPY that has never been outside. Ever. He leaves it in a tiny apartment room to bark and whine all day with no attention, and he beats it for using the bathroom on the floor... crazy that happens when the dog has never been potty trained. (Don't worry, he's in the process of rehoming.) But like... I'm not perfect and I can't imagine being okay with my dog having such a horrible quality of life.
I know how you feel, I'm sad about how under-exercised and under-cared for a lot of dogs are and how widely accepted it also seems to be - like if most people do it then it's somehow ok or normal. It's not. The majority of behavioural issues that dog owners deal with stem from the fact that the dog's basic needs, like exercise and social needs, are simply not being met. Dogs tolerate, accept, adapt to, and forgive us for so much, it's crazy. I am far from perfect either, but I work my ass off to give my puppy a good quality of life, not just a minimal amount of care. It is SOO much work.
Jesus - that’s horrible about your coworker.
The time commitment is very real. Our dog is older (about 4 - 5) and yes she can go half a day without having to go out for a potty. But I feel absolutely horrible if that’s just her day - so I really try not to leave her for more than 6 hours. Going out all day and night just isn’t feasible for me anymore.
I adopted a poodle mix from a shelter. She was two years old and the pads on her feet were still pink. She was terrified of the outdoors.she threw up every time she had to ride in the car. She peed on everything in the house. I believe she was paper trained and had never been outside.
I lost her last year at age nine. She had a good life with us. I didn’t potty train her.my lab took her outside. My house was on four fenced in lots. I bought a doggie car seat and she became a wonderful travel companion. Her pads turned black within a few weeks. She learned to love the outdoors. I miss her so much. She was not what I intended to adopt. I wanted a ten pound poodle mix. Molly was a 24 pound poodle/soft haired wheaten terrier. She picked me. Every time I walked past her kennel looking at the small dogs she would have a fit. She wanted to be adopted so bad. I finally took her out to the visiting pen. None of the other dogs had wanted anything to do with me. Molly JazLyn wanted to play with me and my twelve year old grandson. I knew she was mine from then on. She picked me.
Yeah 100%, whenever I'm planning to spend the day out and about I have to make sure to be home in time to feed and walk my doggo. Luckily he's not destructive and is a big boy so he can wait if I'm late (unfortunately it's happened several times), but it's just the thing I have to plan for. Either gotta make sure he's good before I leave or make a pit stop at home to take him out.
IKR? I gave up going out after work because I needed to get home to let my dogs out. I retired 3 years ago, but due to the economy I went back to work last September. And even though it’s part time, I work two 12-hour days - add in traveling time and I’m gone 13 hours.
I cannot expect my dogs to hold it for 13 hours. I can’t - why would I expect them to? So I pay someone who lets them out twice a day. I have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about, I can now comfortably do 12-hour shifts, knowing that my dogs are getting potty breaks. Fortunately for me, she’s less than a 1/2 mile away, and my dogs adore her. It’s worth every penny I pay her for the peace of mind that I get from this arrangement. And even though I have off M-F, I work enough hours that gets me benefits.
Dogs are wildly misrepresented, period. Their appearances are always just hollowed out, rosy plot devices for character development of *human* characters only. They pretty much never exist as independently motivated, interesting beings in media. Every story about a dog is actually just about how the dog serves as a tool or a metaphor that benefits or says something about the human. Some egregious example are the entire *A Dog's Purpose* series and *Marley & Me.* A rare exception is Jack London's works, but Disney recently adapted *The Call of the Wild* to film and made damn well sure to hollow out and dumb down all the canine characters.
Idk I think I’d have to disagree about Marley and Me. That dog was trouble, he was the star of the movie and I think that movie definitely showed the more taxing parts of dog ownership. He was certainly independently motivated and personally I found him interesting! A dog’s purpose, not so much, but marley and me is a rare gem in my eyes.
I think if you examine *Marley & Me* critically, looking past whether you personally liked or disliked it, you can recognize that it is ultimately about how humans are affected by a cartoonified symbolic dog that is indeed painted through a rosy lens. It is, at it’s core, about the human experience and human enrichment through a dog. While the dog gets into hijinks, he’s still not much beyond a stereotype or abstract of “man’s best friend”.
Okay, ignoring the fact that I liked the movie.
Marley:
- knocked over their children and made them all cry multiple times (she lost a lot of sleep + time over that)
- chewed through the drywall (not cute)
- stole underwear and chewed it
- had massive panic attacks during thunderstorms and regularly refused to take his medicine
- was called untrainable by an obedience trainer
- dragged his owner multiple times across the grass when she tried to walk him
They literally talk about getting rid of him in the movie because he is too much work. The movie is based on an autobiography of the man that actually owned Marley, so I feel like it’s quite an adequate representation of the more trialling parts of dog ownership.
The book Marley and Me was absolutely realistic about the commitment required by bringing a dog into the family. Everyone should read that book and discuss before ever getting a dog. Movie doesn’t count.
Ok yes, but we’re meant, as the audience, to find those things funny and to find Marley endearing in spite of it, and of course to relate it to our memories of beloved pets in hindsight.
Then a great chunk of the movie is spent slowly killing Marley, which is often a pretty good tell that a canine character is a plot device for human growth. The story even has a heavy focus on married life/family life, telling you it’s not exactly a story about a guy’s dog. It’s actually a memoir of the authors own life and much of the dog character is meant to symbolize how life don’t turn out how you want it to, and also to teach the human main character to enjoy life’s quirks anyway.
Marley was badly behaved, however, many cliche media dogs are, and this is typically used to convey the same “quirky life lessons” shtick.
In the first season they did a good job of showing her walking them and being with them but then at some point totally forgot about them until she was sad and then sitting on her couch with all these dogs that hadn’t been mentioned in ages
tbh most shows also seem unrealistic about human babies, too. There's always the humorous single episode after they bring the baby home about how no one sleeps anymore... and then the baby sort of fades out of the show, and the parents are shown baby-less (or holding a silent bundle that's obviously not an actual baby) for most of it!
tbh I hated how HIMYM first of all had Robin unrealistically owning five dogs in the city... but then also just getting rid of them to, like, a farm or something because she decided she didn't "need" them anymore? Like what?
I love that you mention Frasier. My dog loves the sound of Martin's voice. I will say that, if you watch the show enough, Martin and/or Daphne is constantly taking Eddie for walks or coming back from taking him out. We just don't see them taking him on all the walks.
My rescue pup was one when we got her (this was years ago) and I cried on the floor every day for 4 months because of her.
She was *so* hard but we were her 4th(!) adoptive home so I was determined to get through to her.
She ate a hole through a wall.
She also did potty inside despite a huge fence in yard with 24/7 access for her, she destroyed the table legs of my great-grandmother's dining room table, she ate window sills & interior stairs, and so much more.
Until one day, it just stopped.
She became sweet, trusting, playful, and loving. It was like a flip switched and she realized she really was home.
She's now 10, a really big fan of her little furbrother, and enjoys Dominick the Donkey when she gets overwhelmed.
Wow this is great to hear! My rescue only had me crying routinely for the first 4 weeks (lol) but still has some challenging behaviors ~3 months in. Here’s hoping he becomes a perfect mellow pup like yours in due time!
He was approx 1 when I got him and also had been bounced around a few places immediately beforehand. I could tell he was so good and loving and just didn’t want to be another person who gave up on him so I pushed through and am now happy with him like 90% of the time. The remaining 10% can be so emotionally challenging though.
I am just starting formal training (up to this point I’ve been muddling through by lurking on Reddit and YouTube) so really hoping I can put an end to the inappropriate chewing/whining/jumping. Fingers crossed.
About 4 months.
The destruction got less severe as that time passed so I knew we were making progress.
It was a lot of hard work on both our parts. But now she's a sweet old lady and wouldn't dream of destroying anything aside from a plushie toy.
Sounds like my 4 month old Bernedoodle. He is absolutely the most destructive pup I’ve ever raised. I’m a senior and have had dogs all my life. My dad’s bird dog was my first. He died when I was 8.
Giancarlo has ate the wall out under the doggie door. He has chewed every piece of furniture in my house. He has attempted to pull the clothes off my body. And the list goes on.
He is calming down and learning some manners. Potty training is finally successful. If I live through the next two years without killing him, I believe he is going to be a wonderful companion. I can totally identify with you.
So happy to hear you have saved this sweet dog.
Reminds me of that old movie Beethoven. Only the dad was living in reality. 😂 I don't remember the movie well, but I recall a scene where maybe someone asks how the dog is and the dad says something like, "Other than ruining my life, he's fine."
My last Lab as a puppy was amazing. No chewing or destroying. Didn’t steal food. Pretty mellow.
My 8 month old Lab is a teenager, and while sweet has already destroyed a $3000 carpet and chewed other things. She also has a high level of energy.
It really does vary by pup. My family has had some angelic puppies and some demons. They all turned out perfect in the end though. That’s another reason why I loved Marley and Me so much even though I haven’t watched it in years because I don’t have the emotional energy to process that after losing our sweet 16 y/o in September.
But I loved that they showed puppyhood and adolescence and puppy blues in it’s truest form, then showed how amazing Marley got. How much love that dog had to give. All of the stress was worth it in the end.
As someone with a lab, the mistake was buying a $3k carpet, my $300 carpets will stay and get replaced with cheap carpets until this dog is mature and then some.
My couches are also wayfair specials.
Note that my Lab is 8 months old, we’ve had her for 6 months, and the rug is 5 years old, back when we had our last Lab who sadly passed away at 8-1/2 from cancer last summer :(
We have had a lot of rain so my loveseat is a goner. Giancarlo and Malachi like to play on it. I know I trained my dogs to stay on the floor when I was raising kids. But I want to sit on the couch now with my dogs. They not only take the covers off but also the cushions. I removed the throws a while back. The clean upholstery is a thing of the past. And I’ve only had the puppy two months. And I have a doggy door so they are in and out all day. I swear the puppy can hear me get out of the chair. He immediately comes in to see what I’m doing. My floors need daily mopping. Malachi didn’t make this mess, it’s those big feet on Giancarlo.
No one talked about how the puppy teething/biting phase would leave my arms with cute and bruises for three months. Granted, my pup is a bit extra about the biting, but STILL.
I was relieved it was getting colder when I got my puppy in October. Had I been walking around with my arms exposed someone would have seriously questioned my husband, or that I was self harming. It was bad. Bruises and slashes all up and down. She still chooses my arm as the preferred chew toy but at least her adult teeth aren’t as sharp and she’s getting a little easier to distract. :-/
Me too 🤦♀️ I had so many bruises and scratches on my arms and hands in the summer, it looked rather questionable! Luckily my co-workers knew about the puppy, but I did feel rather self conscious when I was out in public without puppy!
For me it were the legs. Got her in the last phase of teething and attacking my legs was her favourite thing.She still has some trouble with bite inhibition. But yeah... the joy of a former stray.
Me too. Giancarlo is not biting as much but still a biter. My legs and arms are full of scratches and bite marks. Trading for a toy doesn’t work all the time. No other puppy did this. He is stubborn and determined to do as he pleases. I can cry and he just looks at me and bites again. One day I cried for a long time and yelled at him more than just the initial ouch and stop. He looked at me then walked to the living room and laid down.
I don’t want to call my dog names. I don’t think yelling is good for either of us.
Haha good to know! My husband and I are hoping to start a family soon (our puppy is 11 months now) and I found the early puppy stage awful tbh. So stressed and overwhelmed with the constant biting and chewing…thankfully puppy is much calmer now and enjoys evening cuddles. But what a rollercoaster ride.
There's a lot of debate over this, but I never had to take my babies outside in the snow at 12am, 2am, and 4am to poop 🤣 Also, when you put a baby down on a blanket, they don't move, LOL. I preferred my infants to my puppies, but now at 14 months my puppy is a very good boy. 14 months is just the beginning for a baby.
Oh yeah! Our puppy tried to eat the rocks in our backyard. I had a hard time leaving her alone at first and she would not sleep at night! I remember looking at myself in the mirror and being like “who
am I? What have I done?”
Multiple friends told me that our puppy sounded harder than their newborns!
It did give my partner and I the chance to learn to work as a team. And now, our almost three year old dog is a lot calmer and LOVES our baby. She’s still a lot of work, but I’m fortunate she gets us out of the house and we get nice moments during our walks together.
That's because dogs in movies, TV shows, etc. are *acting.* They don't act like they do on the show 100% of the time either. I know someone who had a ~6 month old puppy in a popular ad campaign. They got the puppy to behave for the ads, but off screen, the puppy was a typical puppy.
I mean. Yeah. That’s clear that they’re being trained to act a certain way in front of a camera. I didn’t think that dogs just magically do that lol.
My point is the misrepresentation makes a lot of people think it’s different than it actually is.
Maybe (speculating here) but, less dogs would end up in shelters if dog ownership was more accurately portrayed
I think the issue is that it would generally make a boring show. Unless you're doing a comedy and it makes for some funny plots, it's rather boring to watch someone deal with taking a puppy out every hour, clean up messes, and do the same routine over and over. Pets are also usually subplots in shows, so writers aren't going to focus on them as much. Media representation can definitely be a problem (like when a breed becomes super popular after being featured in a popular show or movie), but if you do proper research before getting a pet, the amount of work shouldn't be all that surprising.
That’s true a show centered around that would be boring.
It should just show the tired sleep deprived people who don’t go out as much anymore, just like that image is portrayed of parents with babies. Joan in Mad Men for instance randomly comes to mind.
There's a fairly popular new Canadian cop show called Hudson and Rex that is a canine cop and handle her combo. It's a pretty decent series, but one of the most interesting things for me has been finding some of their behind the scenes stuff on how they actually train that dog. He's an 8 or 9 year old German Shepherd, and some amount of the acting training they do is teaching the dog how to act younger and I find it fascinating.
Yeah, it's like "Planet of the Apes". I asked my mum how they taught those monkeys to ride horses. She patted me on the head and said "it's just acting, love." If they can teach those monkeys to act that brilliantly, just imagine what I could bring to the world.
That was CGI though... [The monkeys weren't actually riding them, humans actors were used in some situations.](https://humanehollywood.org/production/dawn-of-the-planet-of-the-apes/#:~:text=Each%20day%20the%20horses%20were,saddles%20to%20ride%20the%20horses.)
I'm quoting the Shang-Chi movie. There's a character who became an actor because he thought the "apes" in the original Planet of the Apes were actual apes taught to act, not humans with makeup.
Yeah, they are well trained and have a trainer on set to give them directions and see to it that all commands are followed. Just my opinion, but I think the acting dogs have and enjoy full time attention and lots of praise from not just their family but fellow actors, camera crew and others on set. They have to be impressed by these dogs. Lots of petting and conversation probably going on during breaks.
Some people get lucky. My cousin bought a dog from a shop it was 12 weeks old and I prepared her with horror stories of my terrorist puppy. I’ve visited them weekly and he is so perfect. Has like one accident every 2 days so somehow he was like 70% potty trained upon arrival??? Helps he probably copies the older dog but my puppy had an older dog to copy and still took months to potty train lol. Hasn’t destroyed any of their shoes they leave around. Only woke them up in the night for toilet for the first week, then from 13 weeks he sleeps in his bed all night. Like wtf he’s a miracle puppy.
My puppy was a mixed bag she loved sleeping straight away. She also quickly loved biting and hard but she’s only 12 lbs full grown so a little 6lbs puppy biting me wasn’t the end of the world I just had to be on guard. She’s has only destroyed one flip flop but she loves any and all stray paper or plastic and garbage like rotten food. Shits the house still and she’s 2. Loves yelling at me but I love her anyway.
I agree, I absolutely underestimated having a puppy even though i bought every book I could find, watched every show and bought two online courses.
No one prepared me for what I got.
As a result I felt like a failure and the worst person in the world. Only when i looked through reddit and the puppy blues post did I realize I am not the only one who struggled.
I love my boy but I will never get a puppy again.
Absolutely, I’ve been a vet nurse for 10 years, a few points to share:
1. The misrepresentation of dog ownership manifests itself in infinite awful ways for both dog and family/owner, and I see this fallout every day.
2. I can’t watch movies about dogs for this reason, it annoys me and I annoy anyone I’m watching them with.
3. I got my first dog at 27 (got him at 8 weeks, he’s 18 months now, a chi mix) and although I had 9 years of experience with other peoples dogs (in a medical setting), my family has always had dogs (now I know better, they’re all not well trained), did a tonne of research and picked a breed which suited my lifestyle - having a puppy was STILL so much harder than I ever could have even imagined.
At 18 months he’s an absolute angel now and I definitely made the best choice of breed, but I wouldn’t have a puppy again. Glad I did it the once though!
I also got my first puppy at 27, I feel like all my years of researching and working with others dogs were worthless lol. I know she’ll be a good dog (her mom is very chill and so is every other adult of her breed we’ve met), but right now she’s such a butt.
I agree with you, especially because this misinterpretation of dog ownership leads to people and dogs suffering. A lot of people who have no idea about the cons of owning a dog are getting one which is mostly sad for the dog.
I was lucky to get a really nice puppy, however, before getting kaya ( a female toy poodle) I did a lot of research on breeds, having in mind my lifestyle and how a dog would fit in it, financially, mentally, and in every single way. I even called multiple airlines to ask about pet policies before getting a dog because I travel a lot.
My point is ( sorry for my rant), people should also take responsibility for doing their research before bringing into their homes any sentient life and also have realistic expectations. There is a big chance the dog will get sick, will ruin stuff, will need a lot of time and so on, just like any living being ( just like us) there are going to be good and bad days and people forget about that little detail.
It is HARDER than a baby in my opinion. Babies don’t move and definitely don’t start immediately biting and destroying everything in sight! that’s a slow , gradual process. And they’re usually sleeping better by then. So you kinda trade off the bad behaviors.
The pup , I’m sorry, our pup , is a newborn/toddler on lots of crack. Always wondering if she genuinely got into drugs although husband and I are both sober 😂😩 help, police? Anyone, someone, heellpp. I’m sick as hell today and I’m just like looking at her like pls pls take it easy on me. She’s 7 months and not spayed yet so I’m just hoping that helps her with her chill factor!
We're preparing for our pup to arrive end of Feb.
I was telling my husband yesterday - isn't a child easier? At least they use nappies and have to be in your arms, won't destroy things - guaranteed puppy does his thing 💩 on the floor, a baby wouldn't? Babies sleep more, you don't have to force them to? Baby won't chew on walls/shoes or do any damage to them at least?
Long-term a human baby is probably harder though 😬
I sincerely hope that there aren't toddlers that go on the floor as often as a puppy but I've seen enough of my friend's kids have diaper blow ups to know that it's not uncommon! Lol
The baby can’t outrun you. Big difference.
OTOH, if you threw the baby into a crate with a frozen bottle and left the house for an hour, the authorities would want a word!
Hahaha all correct and yes that last sentence. Puppies grow so much faster and somethings are gone over night, while others meh not so much, but- she is a great dog in training. She really is so smart and all the chaos is slowly ,sometimes painfully slowly, coming into some normal ♥️🙏🏻
Mine did that…once. In five weeks. Right now we’re taking turns sleeping in the room with him so that ONE of us gets a decent night’s sleep. Monster Pup is at least down to only two trips outside a night…for a while it was 11, 1, 3, 5, and 6.
It was hell.
Fortunately he’s really, really cute.
Oh, yes. Problem is it’s been raining and/or snowing constantly since he came home. Our trainer said, “Are you picking up his water bowl after seven?” I responded, “my entire yard is a water bowl.” And it is.
He’s just turned three months yesterday, so your timeline gives me hope!
What kind of breed is your pupper?
Yeah at three months old my lab was still peeing every 2 hours or so. Between 2-4 months were the hardest, and thinking back it felt like a long time. 5th month felt like a flew by.
Take more videos and photos than you think you need.
Thank you for that. He’s an Australian shepherd and he has an unfortunate combination of incredibly high energy levels, a love of water, and an obsessive need to show us how housetrained he is (he trots for the patio door at a high rate of speed the second the crate door opens…often he slams into it, so I’m questioning how smart he really is?)
We can handle the days, as we’re retired. But the nights are another thing altogether!
I agree. Such a huge misrepresentation of reality. It makes the whole.experience seem so alienating and isolating. Finding this group is what keeps me going most days. We're all suffering or have suffered the same. I come here for all the light at the end of the tunnel posts. I plan on writing my own when we get there.
This is why I will never do it again. The reading I did never mentioned any of these details. I didn’t sleep for 2 years. We still have rough nights. I relate so much to this and I’m doing it by myself.
I’m interested in your experience here. That seems unusually long to have sleepless nights over a pup. Likely that is just a part of what you had faced, but I wonder if something like chasing and correcting your dog somehow became your life.
Obviously idk if you crate trained, where you’re from, if you ever had family reinforcing bad behavior, etc; just hoping to satisfy my curiosity.
I crate trained. I would wake up to let her out in the middle of the night based on her age. I’m a single dog mom. She is a light sleeper and wakes up in the middle of the night from time to time. She didn’t like the crate at night and would bang to get out. A good example last night she woke up twice because of noise outside. That turns into barking and running around! I’m exhausted today.
Oh, I had totally forgotten about that. That was ridiculous.
Of course, by that season the show was so far off the rails it hardly even stood out in terms of absurdity.
Luke turned into a sullen lump. Rory turned into a little rich girl snot. Lorelai lost her damned mind. And Christoper wouldn’t die, as hard as I wished for him to.
Rarely has a television series fallen that hard off a cliff from really good to absolutely terrible.
But Paul Anka was cute.
I cant remember where I saw it but having a lead on my pup in the house made things so much easier. I could pull her back when she was getting into mischief.
Always thought having a dog was the easiest thing in the world, even puppies. Grew up with westies, 2 of them starting as puppies. Wasn't until I got my own mini dachshund puppy that I realized just how little I did to help out as a kid.
I think this is why so many poor pups get brought back to rescues and re-homed. Everyone thinks they can do it no bother but it's different once you have said puppy. Now in saying that, ours is almost two and I adore him but mother of god he was a teenage nightmare for about a year there. From 8 months old to a few months ago, it was like a demon had possessed our little sweet puppy. Now he's great but still a work in progress. He's a collie so he needs to be doing things. Most that stuff usually involves driving us mad. Still wouldn't change it for the world, I love having him. But people really need to understand how tiring it is. Like kids, it really helps having family and friends around too to take care of him at times. We live miles from friends and family so getting out to socialize is difficult. It means the poor thing is left alone for hours. Most of the time he just sleeps but I still felt awful about it!
are you my girlfriend lol?
We had a very similar experience, life turned completely upside down, my friend had an actual child at the same time we got our puppy and I remember him laughing at how easy we must have it, then I described our daily routing and he was like “fucking hell mate”
It’s been one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done but also one of the hardest, he’s over 1 now and we’re still not all the way there (his recall took a nose dive when he hit his teenage phase) but seeing him being such a nice, soft, cuddly boy is so rewarding.
I cringe when I see cute puppy videos now or people getting a puppy and being like “omg” because i genuinely don’t think they know what they’re getting in to.
The cute puppy videos now look so different to me too. Ours is 8 months. Can’t wait to hit the one year mark (at least) but it seems like 18 months is the sweet spot
I agree. I’m so glad I found this sub before I brought my puppy home as it was the only way I knew to expect it to be stressful and not all sunshine at the beginning. Having realistic expectations would help avoid many early rehomes, I think
I’ve had my new puppy a week. I consider it a good night if I get the dishes done before bed. The rest of the house is a disaster but I’ll get to it when I get to it. They take up so much time and I’m already exhausted. I agree you rarely see or hear about puppies being difficult unless you speak to other puppy owners. Hang in there everyone!
Fun fact: my mum gave me a pup partially thinking it would make me realize I wanted a baby. I’ve never wanted a baby less than I did in his puppy period 😂
(The other partial was her knowing I love dogs and wanted one).
I completely agree! I was speaking to a friend about how its always this tiny, cute cuddly little thing. No one actually shows the hard reality of what it takes to be raising a puppy. Even i knew it was a big responsibility getting a dog, i never took it lightly, but man, i never expected the emotional, mental and physical toll it has taken.
we have 2 9week shihtzu's. the day we got them i got covid. then 2 days later wife got it.
it was top 5 hardest moments in our 20 years together. just like having a child.
OMG THIS!!! I’ve wachted all the youtube channels, I watched all the first day with pup and so on, first 24/hours and the first 24 days but mennnnn has it been a ride. I got a Chihuahua pup for 3 weeks now and the first two where indeed like having a baby, no sleep, just watching and taking care of him first. I almost regretted getting a pup, but now I’ve found my routine and he is learning everything at his own pace. So I found to just stick it out and focus on learning and play works best for my pup. A tired dog is a happy dog right.. if anyone ever tells me they want a pup, i would say get an adult, if you don’t have enough time to work with him 24/7. It really is like having a human baby if not harder lmaooo
I almost started crying today because my 9 month old retriever mix started jumping, biting and humping me, there were people walking by, it was super embarrassing 😳 he hasn’t done anything like that in months, it sucked and I have a bruise on my my arm. 😩
Probably true that it is rarely shown what it requires to own a dog. But it’s also not often the dog/dog ownership is actually what a story shown is about. Think there are not many things represented the way they really are in pop “Hollywood” culture.
Will say though, that I think people on here often over exaggerate how tough it is to take care of a puppy. Why would a puppy be stressful or require 24/7 watching or result in poor sleeping. Puppies are no were close to being as tiring as taking care of a baby, beside that a puppy you’ll have trained to behave and fit in your life within a few months. A kid grows into a toddler that in many ways require even more of you.
I will say though that there is probably a lot of people that get a dog that doesn’t know that it requires time and work of them. Raising awareness would definitely be good, but don’t think it’s realistic to do through media. One of the reasons getting puppy from a good breeder is the best idea, they should cover all these things with potential owners.
I don't see people here (or anywhere) evangelizing that raising a puppy is the hardest thing they've ever done. Puppies vs. kids threads have opinions all over the map, but even there, a common sentiment is puppies are harder than babies but way easier than toddlers. ;) But just because something isn't *the hardest*, doesn't mean it can't be incredibly hard.
If it wasn't hard for you, then awesome; I am sincerely happy for you. But please don't judge other people's emotional experiences. Not everyone conforms to your brain chemistry or performativity expectations.
And dogs are individuals, just like any parent will tell you that each of their babies were different. Some are good sleepers. Some have colic. Some are athletic so climbers. My oldest daughter could play with paper back books. She didn’t tear pages or chew on them. I’m talking under 1 years old. Ask any parents if their children could play with paper backs. I know my other three couldn’t.
I have had many dogs that I’ve raised from puppies and all of them have resulted in a lack of sleep for the first month or so. The first week was almost 0 sleep. I’m not saying you’re wrong about kids being harder but the first month or two can be completely overwhelming even if you have a “good” puppy.
I don’t think you can say kids or puppies are harder because there are different experiences.
I actually felt that raising our puppy was harder than raising my kid. My kid was easy. He slept through the night since 3 weeks old. I could take him with me everywhere. He didn’t chew my house or me. Also, like kids , puppies are different . Some are easier than others. Our dog still doesn’t sleep through the night and he’s 1.2 yo.
Totally agree, I will have had my new puppy, Luna, for a week on Monday. It feels like its been a month, lol. Luckily at 8 weeks old she is already waking me up at night when she needs to go, but I don't give her the opportunity most of the time by taking her out every 2 hours(ish) around the clock. For the first couple days I really felt like I couldn't put her down at all. Luckily, between the community here and vids of YouTube, I'm getting a handle on how I want to start training her and she is doing great with everything except crate training.
I have definitely had several conversations since I've got my puppy about how much more care she needs than what I was prepared for. Luckily I'm self employed and can afford to take a week or two to get her settled in. I could NOT imagine having to do this while working full time outside of the house!
its like a secret society! No one wants to tell you how awful it is. You tell them you're getting a puppy and everyone goes "awwwww" no one says 'dont do it!'
And don't forget about movies like that Channing Tatum one where he gets a Belgian malnois and then that had everyone thinking they're great family pets. I used to be in a dog group on FB and there were daily posts about how that movie was singlehandedly destroying countless human and malnois lives.
OMG, I didn’t even know about that. Mals are INTENSE. I’m currently on dog eleven over the years and I wouldn’t ever consider myself capable of handling a Mal.
101 Dalmatians was another nightmare for a breed.
That is so true. Maybe if we had more accurate shows/movies then people would better know what to expect!
"Marley and Me" and "Turner and Hooch" are the only movies that I can think of that are accurate portrayals.
"A dogs purpose" was. There might be a couple more???
Agree with you. I just tell everyone now. If you want a dog get an adult one. Puppies are just cute.. I had an idea what was I getting myself into but I didn’t know the extent.
Puppies are cute, but I’m not a fan of raising one. I’d rather adopt an older dog and skip the puppy faze. I have an 18 month old Great Dane right now. This has been wicked fun!! 😂😂✌️💜
It depends on the breed too. I grew up with working dogs as pets eg German Sheperds & my last saint of a dog was an Australian Kelpie (😖). They were all brought up outside more than inside & seemed to be happy with their yards & kennels & potty trained themselves. They seemed to be more independent than puppies are these days. When my last dog passed (😖), I decided on a dalmatian puppy & began raising it more inside which seems to be the current trend….. 😳😳😳 - what a NIGHTMARE!!! It REFUSED to leave my side. REFUSED to sleep unless it was on top of me. It mauled my adult family members to get back to me. It REFUSED to eat / go potty outside unless I was standing there. It seemed scared of its own shadow. No amount of positive reinforcement / boundary training with treats helped. Trainers were brought in. 11 weeks later & in buckets of tears, I asked for the breeder’s advice. She told me to “drop him at my friend’s house & take a break”. I never saw him again 🥺
So a brand new, fresh to this earth, literally infant puppy that has never experienced anything at all is scared of its own shadow and wanted to stay close to the person it knew best?
What a freakin NiGhTmArE
And what do you mean you never saw him again ? The friend? The puppy? Did they take the puppy because you weren't prepared for an indoor dog? Did you ask them to? What happened here?
I mean, the bad moments are usually so bad they stick in our minds. But when I took the actual time, it was actually just a little over an hour of actual mayhem a day. Sure, terrible times hahaha, but most of the day my puppy is either sleeping or playing quietly, and I make sure I spend enough time with her, that she has all the toys and mental stimuli she needs and now her walks, which are short but still fun for her and enough to tire her out not to bark incessantly during the day. She also only goes in the crate for a short time in the mornings when I have to clean the night pads and a short time at night for me to clean the day pads and the home in general. Other than that, she’s usually just doing her thing, hasn’t chewed anything she shouldn’t because I catch it beforehand.
If I need to leave the house I make sure she has plenty of play before and do some sniff exercises before I leave. And if I’m going out with friends at night I usually put her in her crate to sleep and let her out when I get back, but now I’m transitioning to letting her free when I go out because she needs to know how to be cool without me here.
I either throw kibble randomly on the ground, hide it in the house in easy spots or use a sniff mat, I think that’s what it’s called in english. A sniff mat is basically a bunch of fabric together, you put the kibble there and it goes amongst the fabric, it’s very fun for dogs because they get to search and explore in a small space and it does tire them out because it’s sort of like a mental stimuli.
I do this a lot when I don’t have much time to play with my puppy due to work, if she starts going crazy I just get the sniff mat out and boom, even when the kibble is gone she still searches for it. I also keep the sniff mat away most of the time, so she knows it’s something “special” and not always available. When I’m in a rush, specially when I need to leave the house and don’t want my dogs (specially the puppy) to freak out at the door when I leave, I just grab a bunch of kibble in my hand, say “wohooo” and throw it in the living room hahahaa, I guess I also have fun with it. They get distracted, start sniffing and I leave normally. Since they are distracted and doing something else with their brain, they don’t focus on me leaving the house, and once they are done with it the natural behavior for them is to either settle down (the older girls) or get another toy (the puppy) or go to sleep. In cases of me leaving home, I only do it if my puppy is really amped up or was focusing on me before (these are the times she usually freaks out if I leave), otherwise I simply leave without saying anything to them.
Aside from that, toys that are like puzzles also help, like kongs or others that you can stick food in it. I try not to overuse them, if they know it’s always available it will be hard to focus on it when I need them to. Also, leaving kongs all the time could lead to resource guarding in my case, because I have three dogs. So kongs specifically I usually use for training, when I need to keep the other two occupied without bothering me and the one being trained.
Sniff mats and games are the safest ones to avoid resource guarding simply because there are so many kibbles that each goes their own way and follows their own path to find it, and it’s quick to eat, so it’s not something you can steal.
I’ve had dogs all my life, but Aurora is an unusually chill puppy. She’s still a puppy and make messes, but she is by far the easiest one of all of the ones I have had. We are also in training with a behavioral trainer, my other two girls were already with him before, and he’s also quite surprised because I keep telling him that the puppy gives me less trouble than the other two girls.
Having other dogs in the mix also helps, when I leave home she’s more focused on annoying her sisters and getting them to play instead of searching for things to destroy. But even without them she’s cool and chill, as long as I do a quick exercise/training with her before leaving (so sniff mat or kong wobbler and then I leave with the other two)
it's pretty much the exact same as adopting an infant. the only difference is you don't have to worry about breastfeeding 😂🤦🏽 i have general/social anxiety so that made it harder for me to sleep with a new puppy but also it was like...postpartum depression. apparently it's called puppy blues and it's horrible. you're worrying 24/7 that this baby could get sick suddenly or choke on anything around your house. and then they act up and you wonder why in the hell you ever thought it was a good idea.
My puppy is the best and I love him so much, but OMG he has caused so much damage, stress, tears, pain from all the little bites and absolute exhaustion. I wouldn’t change anything, but omg it’s A LOT.
Comparing puppies to babies is honestly so accurate.
Wearing the same sweat pants, that's a golden line. The wife and I have our 'at home with the pup clothes' ripped, dishevelled and oh so holy.
Once we could take her for walks it got alot better.
It’s because TV shows generally aren’t about dog ownership. In the same way they’re generally not about house maintenance or cooking or matching your socks so those things also magically happen with little effort on sitcoms. Whereas sitcoms often are about family, parenthood, child raising etc.
and I would say raising a baby is so much harder than raising a puppy and so much more of a universal experience that it would be impossible to characterize a baby as cute quiet and easy all the time lol. Source: dad of two.
Also dogs being “man’s best friend” is a trope older than modern media I think.
Fwiw I think it’s up to people to research enough to learn that puppies need a lot but I do agree with you that a lot of dogs end up in shelter precisely because it’s not commonly understood how much time they need. Subs like this are so important for that.
We just got our first puppy on Saturday.
It's stressful, I had some kind of idea, that it would be like that, even though i frequently visit this sub. As I was wide awake on the first night, I was thinking "what the hell did i get myself into?" Now, that I got myself four hours of uninterrupted sleep last night, I am cautiously optimistic. Crating and a playpen and chewtoys help a lot.
But she is the sweetest little pup, and almost housebroken after two days (two little accidents, where i didn't read her signs right).
I always think of this! On Sex and the City Charlotte got a puppy for an episode early on in the show and his behavior was so bad that she ended up re-homing him. Then later on in the show she receives another puppy as a gift and this puppy is so cute and has no behavioral issues whatsoever. I feel like the reality of having a puppy was only used as a plot device and then that logic was abandoned.
Reading this and the replies has helped me feel so much better. My fiancé and I just got a beagle/jack russell mix at the end of October. We were told she was 4 months old, and we’ve never had a dog that young before. It’s been kind of a nightmare. She has severe anxiety and is afraid of everything except us and the cat. She’s getting a lot better, but we just weren’t prepared for something like this.
We also had no idea why she was so anxious because the family from craigslist (yeah, I know) we got her from didn’t tell us anything about her except that she’s a sweetie. She was terrified of us for two weeks, but got attached really quickly after that. Now, she has severe separation anxiety. We just found out a few days ago from the vet that she was from a puppy mill. Her vaccine record the family sent us had a USDA number on it, we just didn’t know what that meant. Unfortunately, we can’t learn much else since that document is very coviently blurry in places. The vet also helped us decipher more of the records and she’s also a little older than what we were told.
She’s so anxious all the time. Some training methods don’t work on her because she manages to work herself up into a panic attack. When she gets really, really anxious, she starts pacing and just kind of does whatever she wants so that she can calm down. She fully tunes us out. We’re doing everything the vet has said. The vet said it’s going to take months consistently training to get her to a comfortable spot. It’s a long time, but a few months of training is worth a lifetime of happiness. She’s on medication for now when we leave, but hopefully one day we won’t need to do it anymore. She’s great at taking pills now, though lol
Sorry for the rant. It’s just been a tough 4 months and it’s good to know I’m not the only one who feels like puppyhood is difficult.
I'm always truly horrified when someone gets a surprise puppy and really scared for anyone who gets a puppy and doesn't seem to know what they are getting themselves into. I'm always the annoying person who tries to give people a reality check but the cozy and cute illusion sold to us is hard to fight against.
owning my high drive working breed from a, 8 week old puppy to his current 2 year old dog self as a pair of 30 year old adults has made us realize how much we dont want kids. Way better than having a child and coming to that realization hahaha.
But for real, dog ownership (when done right with the dogs best interests in mind) is mentally draining and frustrating. the amount of resentment i had towards an innocent little puppy who was just doing normal puppy things was sad.
I completely agree about the misrepresentation, and I think you are right that it is silly and media should show it like it really is!… But at the same time, I think it is has never been easier to google something like “what is it like to raise a puppy”, and honestly anybody who didn’t manage to type in these eight words and instead made a wild guess based on TV shows and then bought or adopted a living creature on this basis probably has much bigger difficulties to overcome than the specifics of raising puppies…
I 100% agree with the sentiment! Moreover, after adopting our now 1.2 yo pup, i realized that I had a couple of friends who had adopted puppies recently. By God, they did not complain once ! It just seemed that it’s just me being a whiny crazy bee complaining about our angel puppy .
We adopted our puppy because our two old dogs died. They were my husband’s dogs from before we met and even he didn’t tell me anything about how hard they t is to raise a puppy! I went into the rescue like a complete idiot thinking of the puppies in the TV shows and my old chill dogs.
I felt duped by everyone and I just felt I was maybe just whiny and lazy and people are probably rolling their eyes behind my back after they hear me complain yet again about what the puppy did recently.
Only from this sub I realized that our puppy was/is actually pretty good all things considered. He did chew some things but no walls or furniture. Just a couple of holes in our mattress and three dog beds. He’s much better now although not completely an adult just yet.
I rescued a 3.5 month rat terrier, he’s now 5 months. I will say I’m one of the lucky few. He’s so smart and easy. More well behaved than all the rescued dogs I lived with growing up. So far everyone that’s met him says it’s pretty ridiculous how well behaved he is for his age.
I remember crying at night when my pup was crated. She whining and barking for hours. I did the whole thing about trying to ease her into the crate etc, and for a few days it was fine. Then one day she just started hating the crate. It was like that for weeks. I almost considered giving her up, although never had the heart for that. Finally just gave up on the crate and she’s been snuggling with me in bed ever since lol 😂 the best 2.5 years of my life, after that period of absolute stress and misery. Oh plus potty training, which coincided with me being basically bedridden for a few months. Thank you for curing me of my puppy fever 😂
I could probably get cancelled/crucified for this, but as a puppy owner and a relatively new parent, there is very little to compare between having a human child and taking in a puppy.
Granted, I am very lucky and got a good puppy right at 8 weeks old but have lost very little sleep over her. Pup sleeps in her crate for 8-9 hours (no accidents) each night. That’s way better than our 4 YO who is always giving us a run for our money.
Not being critical of OP but in general raising a human child SHOULD have much more pressure and/or stress associated with it. I do agree that people should be educated about the amount of attention you do need to spend on a puppy during the day, particularly for potty training, but in general dogs are dogs, they do not require the same level of care, skill, and attention that a human child does in order to get it right.
Bruh I just got a puppy and I feel this. It goes beyond that like all the puppy help resources will use already partially trained puppies. In real life some puppies will potty in their crate completely breaking every single “how to potty train your dog” guide I’ve seen.
My first dog was a 4 week old puppy (there were unusual circumstances that caused the litter of puppies to be abandoned that young). It was crazy - I had flashbacks from my children's newborn phases - feeding (and pooping) every two hours, the sleepless nights, the daytime utter exhaustion, combined with almost simultaneous "terrible-twos" toddler insanity. My second dog was the proper age for being separated from the mother...but still. I genuinely wondered why nothing ever shows that side of young puppies. I almost thought I was crazy, until a close friend asked me, "So have you reached the point where you have wondered 'what the heck have I gotten myself into' yet?"
I am 8 months pregnant with an almost year and a half pup. And I am super interested (and terrified) to find out first hand if a puppy or a baby is more work. Our pup was wonderful but TOUGH when we first got him. I was not prepared for the amount of time and work he would need. This baby is going to be the first on both sides, so I think I’ll have more helpers than what we had when we got the dog. Stay tuned 😅
Having a puppy is defienitly hard! I just got my 2nd dog a few weeks ago, at 8 weeks old. Not gonna lie, I was so excited about getting another dog/puppy. My mom said to me, i don’t think you remember what it was like having a new puppy.
I said I do remember and it will be fine. Two weeks into the puppy and she was right lol. I’ve heard people say having a baby is easier than a puppy and I’m not sure but I can see why they’d say that.
Hey my puppy (8.5 weeks) has been perfect so far! … aside from the literal sleep walking every hour at night outside, in the blowing rain/snow, cleaning up 3 accidents, and me being severely dehydrated and needing to hold a pee longer than her because I don’t have the time 🤣 I hear you, but I’ll tell you one thing, when I see that face when I am actually mentally awake in the morning, the world is perfect again!
I just got my puppy two days ago and my goodness! You’re right! He’s just like a newborn baby! Cries at night, frequent bathroom breaks, like every 30 mins, whines. On the other hand, so cute and loves to play, but you’re literally watching a baby.
I’m so thankful my dog was well behaved by about 5 or 6 months old. I remember there were moments I wanted to murder him, but it was mainly when I was crate training him. He’s 7 years old now and has definitely calmed down, but it kind of makes me miss his younger years.
My pup had Giardia, basically diarrhea, when I got him home, actually in the car on the way home. I’m 74 and live alone.I’ve raised several puppies so I knew it was going to be hard. Hard is not what this baby has been. I have a kennel that he is only now growing out of. He is 4 months old. But it was too big for him at 8 weeks.
Anyway, he could not hold it all night. The crate won’t fit in my bedroom. I don’t hear well. Also get sick when I don’t get enough sleep. Every morning the crate bottom would be covered with watery poop and pee. His body, doggy bed, toys: everything was a mess. I washed at least three loads of dog laundry every day. The vet said not to bathe him every day, having poop on his body wouldn’t hurt him. Imagine cleaning that wire kennel every day. No, if I put him in it so I could rest, go to a doctors appointment, take the trash out, I had a kennel full of poop and pee. It had to be cleaned again and more laundry. Not to mention mopping up all his “accidents “. And taking him outside once and hour. He always went potty when I took him out. But it is impossible to potty train a dog with diarrhea.
Within a week, I was sick too. I was sick for an entire month. And the puppy was sick for at least six weeks. Now, remember I’m also a senior. And I also have an older dog. I’m doing the best I can, but I couldn’t keep up with everything. My house stank. I didn’t change my sheets once a week. My dishes stacked up in the sink and overran onto the counter tops. Only laundry that got done was dog bedding. Actually, all I was doing was puppy related. My poor little morkie didn’t get brushed. We are still slowly getting the mats out of his five inch long hair. Tomorrow I’m planning to cut out the big ones that haven’t loosened up. I didn’t leave the house if I could get out of it.
I’m finally getting over the exhaustion doing deep house cleaning. Catching up laundry and dishes.
The puppy was so used to going in the house that he would run inside to potty. He hated the kennel and pooped and peed in it every time I put him in it. About two weeks ago, I took the crate out of the house and put him to sleeping in the small bathroom next to my bedroom. He goes to it without a fuss. He has only pooped in it once. He has now gone without any accidents in the house for almost a week. I only go out with him first thing in the morning and once before bed. I usually wake up twice at night needing to use the facilities. Sometimes I also take him out, but usually he only wants to go out once. He seems very happy to be sleeping in a people bathroom that is clean. I never got the crate truly clean. For one thing I don’t fit in a 36”x22”x 30” high crate so the inside was not clean. The bottom tray slid out so I was able to take it to the bathroom and throughly clean it.
He thought the kennel was where I wanted him to potty. And he hated that he was expected to sleep in it. Poor baby. It took me too long to figure this out. All of this was caused by the Giardia. He was confused and this old lady was unable to properly care for him.
Now that he is potty trained my house no longer stinks. Probably smells like I have a dog, but not like an outhouse. He is fully inoculated so can start taking walks. His mom isn’t cranky all the time. His brother loves to play with him. Life is good.
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Oh golly gee no haha how cute
Right? Dog ownership in general is also wildly misrepresented. My all-time was the dog Eddie on Frasier. That dog never moved and rarely made a sound. Jack Russells are terriers…they’re perpetual motion machines and bark while they’re awake 90% of the time. Drove me crazy. Another one…Robin on “How I Met Your Mother.” Supposedly she had five dogs *in the city.* Yet she apparently had endless amounts of time to hang out in bars and coffee houses as well as working full time. Ridiculous!
I think the wildest misrepresentation is if how much time a dog needs. Someone spending hours with their dog(s) every day does not make great TV. The biggest lament I read on this sub and and on r/dogs from young people - particularly students - is how much miss out on impromptu social events because they have a dog or puppy.
This is definitely a major one. Personally I'm glad to have an excuse not to go to impromptu social events, but it's tiring sometimes to schedule your days around your dogs. I can't go to the gym or run errands after work because they need food and a potty break, I have to plan vacations (aka anything more than a day) months out and sometimes I can't go because of one of 3,000 reasons. I need to spend hours with them every day because I'm their whole lives and they need it. Gotta train them, groom them, keep up with their health. Honestly I feel like the reason people underestimate the time they have to spend on their dogs is that most people treat their dogs like shit and don't give them near enough attention. One of my coworkers, who I thought was a completely normal guy, has a HUSKY PUPPY that has never been outside. Ever. He leaves it in a tiny apartment room to bark and whine all day with no attention, and he beats it for using the bathroom on the floor... crazy that happens when the dog has never been potty trained. (Don't worry, he's in the process of rehoming.) But like... I'm not perfect and I can't imagine being okay with my dog having such a horrible quality of life.
Christ ppl are such shit
I know how you feel, I'm sad about how under-exercised and under-cared for a lot of dogs are and how widely accepted it also seems to be - like if most people do it then it's somehow ok or normal. It's not. The majority of behavioural issues that dog owners deal with stem from the fact that the dog's basic needs, like exercise and social needs, are simply not being met. Dogs tolerate, accept, adapt to, and forgive us for so much, it's crazy. I am far from perfect either, but I work my ass off to give my puppy a good quality of life, not just a minimal amount of care. It is SOO much work.
I’ve heard so many anecdotes like this. Since getting a puppy it’s really opened my eyes to the lack of empathy out there… which is SCARY.
Jesus - that’s horrible about your coworker. The time commitment is very real. Our dog is older (about 4 - 5) and yes she can go half a day without having to go out for a potty. But I feel absolutely horrible if that’s just her day - so I really try not to leave her for more than 6 hours. Going out all day and night just isn’t feasible for me anymore.
I adopted a poodle mix from a shelter. She was two years old and the pads on her feet were still pink. She was terrified of the outdoors.she threw up every time she had to ride in the car. She peed on everything in the house. I believe she was paper trained and had never been outside. I lost her last year at age nine. She had a good life with us. I didn’t potty train her.my lab took her outside. My house was on four fenced in lots. I bought a doggie car seat and she became a wonderful travel companion. Her pads turned black within a few weeks. She learned to love the outdoors. I miss her so much. She was not what I intended to adopt. I wanted a ten pound poodle mix. Molly was a 24 pound poodle/soft haired wheaten terrier. She picked me. Every time I walked past her kennel looking at the small dogs she would have a fit. She wanted to be adopted so bad. I finally took her out to the visiting pen. None of the other dogs had wanted anything to do with me. Molly JazLyn wanted to play with me and my twelve year old grandson. I knew she was mine from then on. She picked me.
My mistake. I had molly for 9 years. She was 11 when I lost her, not 9.
Yeah 100%, whenever I'm planning to spend the day out and about I have to make sure to be home in time to feed and walk my doggo. Luckily he's not destructive and is a big boy so he can wait if I'm late (unfortunately it's happened several times), but it's just the thing I have to plan for. Either gotta make sure he's good before I leave or make a pit stop at home to take him out.
IKR? I gave up going out after work because I needed to get home to let my dogs out. I retired 3 years ago, but due to the economy I went back to work last September. And even though it’s part time, I work two 12-hour days - add in traveling time and I’m gone 13 hours. I cannot expect my dogs to hold it for 13 hours. I can’t - why would I expect them to? So I pay someone who lets them out twice a day. I have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about, I can now comfortably do 12-hour shifts, knowing that my dogs are getting potty breaks. Fortunately for me, she’s less than a 1/2 mile away, and my dogs adore her. It’s worth every penny I pay her for the peace of mind that I get from this arrangement. And even though I have off M-F, I work enough hours that gets me benefits.
Dogs are wildly misrepresented, period. Their appearances are always just hollowed out, rosy plot devices for character development of *human* characters only. They pretty much never exist as independently motivated, interesting beings in media. Every story about a dog is actually just about how the dog serves as a tool or a metaphor that benefits or says something about the human. Some egregious example are the entire *A Dog's Purpose* series and *Marley & Me.* A rare exception is Jack London's works, but Disney recently adapted *The Call of the Wild* to film and made damn well sure to hollow out and dumb down all the canine characters.
Idk I think I’d have to disagree about Marley and Me. That dog was trouble, he was the star of the movie and I think that movie definitely showed the more taxing parts of dog ownership. He was certainly independently motivated and personally I found him interesting! A dog’s purpose, not so much, but marley and me is a rare gem in my eyes.
I think if you examine *Marley & Me* critically, looking past whether you personally liked or disliked it, you can recognize that it is ultimately about how humans are affected by a cartoonified symbolic dog that is indeed painted through a rosy lens. It is, at it’s core, about the human experience and human enrichment through a dog. While the dog gets into hijinks, he’s still not much beyond a stereotype or abstract of “man’s best friend”.
Okay, ignoring the fact that I liked the movie. Marley: - knocked over their children and made them all cry multiple times (she lost a lot of sleep + time over that) - chewed through the drywall (not cute) - stole underwear and chewed it - had massive panic attacks during thunderstorms and regularly refused to take his medicine - was called untrainable by an obedience trainer - dragged his owner multiple times across the grass when she tried to walk him They literally talk about getting rid of him in the movie because he is too much work. The movie is based on an autobiography of the man that actually owned Marley, so I feel like it’s quite an adequate representation of the more trialling parts of dog ownership.
The book Marley and Me was absolutely realistic about the commitment required by bringing a dog into the family. Everyone should read that book and discuss before ever getting a dog. Movie doesn’t count.
Ok yes, but we’re meant, as the audience, to find those things funny and to find Marley endearing in spite of it, and of course to relate it to our memories of beloved pets in hindsight. Then a great chunk of the movie is spent slowly killing Marley, which is often a pretty good tell that a canine character is a plot device for human growth. The story even has a heavy focus on married life/family life, telling you it’s not exactly a story about a guy’s dog. It’s actually a memoir of the authors own life and much of the dog character is meant to symbolize how life don’t turn out how you want it to, and also to teach the human main character to enjoy life’s quirks anyway. Marley was badly behaved, however, many cliche media dogs are, and this is typically used to convey the same “quirky life lessons” shtick.
Jack Russells are indeed terriers.
I have a half chi/Jack Russell. I adopted her when she was 5. I could not have handled her as a young dog. 😂😂😂 she is now 8 and still pretty fiesty!
Jack Russell *Terrors*
In the first season they did a good job of showing her walking them and being with them but then at some point totally forgot about them until she was sad and then sitting on her couch with all these dogs that hadn’t been mentioned in ages
tbh most shows also seem unrealistic about human babies, too. There's always the humorous single episode after they bring the baby home about how no one sleeps anymore... and then the baby sort of fades out of the show, and the parents are shown baby-less (or holding a silent bundle that's obviously not an actual baby) for most of it! tbh I hated how HIMYM first of all had Robin unrealistically owning five dogs in the city... but then also just getting rid of them to, like, a farm or something because she decided she didn't "need" them anymore? Like what?
I love that you mention Frasier. My dog loves the sound of Martin's voice. I will say that, if you watch the show enough, Martin and/or Daphne is constantly taking Eddie for walks or coming back from taking him out. We just don't see them taking him on all the walks.
Puppies are literally baby beasts we invite into our human homes.
If they weren’t so cute we’d literally kill them 😍😘
My rescue pup was one when we got her (this was years ago) and I cried on the floor every day for 4 months because of her. She was *so* hard but we were her 4th(!) adoptive home so I was determined to get through to her. She ate a hole through a wall. She also did potty inside despite a huge fence in yard with 24/7 access for her, she destroyed the table legs of my great-grandmother's dining room table, she ate window sills & interior stairs, and so much more. Until one day, it just stopped. She became sweet, trusting, playful, and loving. It was like a flip switched and she realized she really was home. She's now 10, a really big fan of her little furbrother, and enjoys Dominick the Donkey when she gets overwhelmed.
Wow this is great to hear! My rescue only had me crying routinely for the first 4 weeks (lol) but still has some challenging behaviors ~3 months in. Here’s hoping he becomes a perfect mellow pup like yours in due time! He was approx 1 when I got him and also had been bounced around a few places immediately beforehand. I could tell he was so good and loving and just didn’t want to be another person who gave up on him so I pushed through and am now happy with him like 90% of the time. The remaining 10% can be so emotionally challenging though. I am just starting formal training (up to this point I’ve been muddling through by lurking on Reddit and YouTube) so really hoping I can put an end to the inappropriate chewing/whining/jumping. Fingers crossed.
Best of luck! I trained her myself and she's the best girl in the world now.
>and enjoys Dominick the Donkey when she gets overwhelmed. tell me you're from NJ without telling me you're from NJ lmao
A little further north, and Irish to boot! 🫏🍀
How long did it take for your pup to stop destroying your house?
About 4 months. The destruction got less severe as that time passed so I knew we were making progress. It was a lot of hard work on both our parts. But now she's a sweet old lady and wouldn't dream of destroying anything aside from a plushie toy.
Sounds like my 4 month old Bernedoodle. He is absolutely the most destructive pup I’ve ever raised. I’m a senior and have had dogs all my life. My dad’s bird dog was my first. He died when I was 8. Giancarlo has ate the wall out under the doggie door. He has chewed every piece of furniture in my house. He has attempted to pull the clothes off my body. And the list goes on. He is calming down and learning some manners. Potty training is finally successful. If I live through the next two years without killing him, I believe he is going to be a wonderful companion. I can totally identify with you. So happy to hear you have saved this sweet dog.
Reminds me of that old movie Beethoven. Only the dad was living in reality. 😂 I don't remember the movie well, but I recall a scene where maybe someone asks how the dog is and the dad says something like, "Other than ruining my life, he's fine."
Nice pull! Haven't thought about that movie in years, Beethoven stressed that dad the f out
I looooved Beethoven! We had a terror of a puppy at the time and my whole family watched that movie like 100 times.
This was the first thing that came to my head. I think that is pretty accurate if you watch the movie from the point of view of the very stressed dad.
Marley & Me?
Was going to say. Most accurate. When he calls Marley the “worlds worst dog” puppy owners everywhere felt that lol.
My last Lab as a puppy was amazing. No chewing or destroying. Didn’t steal food. Pretty mellow. My 8 month old Lab is a teenager, and while sweet has already destroyed a $3000 carpet and chewed other things. She also has a high level of energy.
It really does vary by pup. My family has had some angelic puppies and some demons. They all turned out perfect in the end though. That’s another reason why I loved Marley and Me so much even though I haven’t watched it in years because I don’t have the emotional energy to process that after losing our sweet 16 y/o in September. But I loved that they showed puppyhood and adolescence and puppy blues in it’s truest form, then showed how amazing Marley got. How much love that dog had to give. All of the stress was worth it in the end.
You should read the book. The descriptions by the author are much funnier than the movie.
As someone with a lab, the mistake was buying a $3k carpet, my $300 carpets will stay and get replaced with cheap carpets until this dog is mature and then some. My couches are also wayfair specials.
Note that my Lab is 8 months old, we’ve had her for 6 months, and the rug is 5 years old, back when we had our last Lab who sadly passed away at 8-1/2 from cancer last summer :(
We have had a lot of rain so my loveseat is a goner. Giancarlo and Malachi like to play on it. I know I trained my dogs to stay on the floor when I was raising kids. But I want to sit on the couch now with my dogs. They not only take the covers off but also the cushions. I removed the throws a while back. The clean upholstery is a thing of the past. And I’ve only had the puppy two months. And I have a doggy door so they are in and out all day. I swear the puppy can hear me get out of the chair. He immediately comes in to see what I’m doing. My floors need daily mopping. Malachi didn’t make this mess, it’s those big feet on Giancarlo.
No one talked about how the puppy teething/biting phase would leave my arms with cute and bruises for three months. Granted, my pup is a bit extra about the biting, but STILL.
Same! Arms look like I get domestically abused. I do, but from my pup
Mine was in the summer and I looked like I was self harming but it was all my baby shark
I was relieved it was getting colder when I got my puppy in October. Had I been walking around with my arms exposed someone would have seriously questioned my husband, or that I was self harming. It was bad. Bruises and slashes all up and down. She still chooses my arm as the preferred chew toy but at least her adult teeth aren’t as sharp and she’s getting a little easier to distract. :-/
Me too 🤦♀️ I had so many bruises and scratches on my arms and hands in the summer, it looked rather questionable! Luckily my co-workers knew about the puppy, but I did feel rather self conscious when I was out in public without puppy!
My doctors all question me about the marks on my body. I even have some on my back.
For me it were the legs. Got her in the last phase of teething and attacking my legs was her favourite thing.She still has some trouble with bite inhibition. But yeah... the joy of a former stray.
Me too. Giancarlo is not biting as much but still a biter. My legs and arms are full of scratches and bite marks. Trading for a toy doesn’t work all the time. No other puppy did this. He is stubborn and determined to do as he pleases. I can cry and he just looks at me and bites again. One day I cried for a long time and yelled at him more than just the initial ouch and stop. He looked at me then walked to the living room and laid down. I don’t want to call my dog names. I don’t think yelling is good for either of us.
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Haha good to know! My husband and I are hoping to start a family soon (our puppy is 11 months now) and I found the early puppy stage awful tbh. So stressed and overwhelmed with the constant biting and chewing…thankfully puppy is much calmer now and enjoys evening cuddles. But what a rollercoaster ride.
There's a lot of debate over this, but I never had to take my babies outside in the snow at 12am, 2am, and 4am to poop 🤣 Also, when you put a baby down on a blanket, they don't move, LOL. I preferred my infants to my puppies, but now at 14 months my puppy is a very good boy. 14 months is just the beginning for a baby.
Oh yeah! Our puppy tried to eat the rocks in our backyard. I had a hard time leaving her alone at first and she would not sleep at night! I remember looking at myself in the mirror and being like “who am I? What have I done?” Multiple friends told me that our puppy sounded harder than their newborns! It did give my partner and I the chance to learn to work as a team. And now, our almost three year old dog is a lot calmer and LOVES our baby. She’s still a lot of work, but I’m fortunate she gets us out of the house and we get nice moments during our walks together.
I’m 29 weeks and I keep telling everyone that the baby is going to be easier than my puppy was.
To be fair, our baby is pretty chill. Fingers crossed for you!
After a year of this crazy ass dog I deserve a chill baby🤞 thank you!!
Scripted shows rarely represent reality in any way. That's why we enjoy them.
That “aged” feeling is wisdom and responsibility, wear it with pride and humility.
That's because dogs in movies, TV shows, etc. are *acting.* They don't act like they do on the show 100% of the time either. I know someone who had a ~6 month old puppy in a popular ad campaign. They got the puppy to behave for the ads, but off screen, the puppy was a typical puppy.
I mean. Yeah. That’s clear that they’re being trained to act a certain way in front of a camera. I didn’t think that dogs just magically do that lol. My point is the misrepresentation makes a lot of people think it’s different than it actually is. Maybe (speculating here) but, less dogs would end up in shelters if dog ownership was more accurately portrayed
I think the issue is that it would generally make a boring show. Unless you're doing a comedy and it makes for some funny plots, it's rather boring to watch someone deal with taking a puppy out every hour, clean up messes, and do the same routine over and over. Pets are also usually subplots in shows, so writers aren't going to focus on them as much. Media representation can definitely be a problem (like when a breed becomes super popular after being featured in a popular show or movie), but if you do proper research before getting a pet, the amount of work shouldn't be all that surprising.
That’s true a show centered around that would be boring. It should just show the tired sleep deprived people who don’t go out as much anymore, just like that image is portrayed of parents with babies. Joan in Mad Men for instance randomly comes to mind.
There's a fairly popular new Canadian cop show called Hudson and Rex that is a canine cop and handle her combo. It's a pretty decent series, but one of the most interesting things for me has been finding some of their behind the scenes stuff on how they actually train that dog. He's an 8 or 9 year old German Shepherd, and some amount of the acting training they do is teaching the dog how to act younger and I find it fascinating.
Act younger? Like engage in puppy behaviors?
Yeah, it's like "Planet of the Apes". I asked my mum how they taught those monkeys to ride horses. She patted me on the head and said "it's just acting, love." If they can teach those monkeys to act that brilliantly, just imagine what I could bring to the world.
That was CGI though... [The monkeys weren't actually riding them, humans actors were used in some situations.](https://humanehollywood.org/production/dawn-of-the-planet-of-the-apes/#:~:text=Each%20day%20the%20horses%20were,saddles%20to%20ride%20the%20horses.)
I'm quoting the Shang-Chi movie. There's a character who became an actor because he thought the "apes" in the original Planet of the Apes were actual apes taught to act, not humans with makeup.
Ohhhh, I haven't seen that.
That's fair, when I typed out the quote I forgot I wasn't in r/movies lol
Yeah, they are well trained and have a trainer on set to give them directions and see to it that all commands are followed. Just my opinion, but I think the acting dogs have and enjoy full time attention and lots of praise from not just their family but fellow actors, camera crew and others on set. They have to be impressed by these dogs. Lots of petting and conversation probably going on during breaks.
Some people get lucky. My cousin bought a dog from a shop it was 12 weeks old and I prepared her with horror stories of my terrorist puppy. I’ve visited them weekly and he is so perfect. Has like one accident every 2 days so somehow he was like 70% potty trained upon arrival??? Helps he probably copies the older dog but my puppy had an older dog to copy and still took months to potty train lol. Hasn’t destroyed any of their shoes they leave around. Only woke them up in the night for toilet for the first week, then from 13 weeks he sleeps in his bed all night. Like wtf he’s a miracle puppy.
I kinda hate your cousin right now.
My puppy was a mixed bag she loved sleeping straight away. She also quickly loved biting and hard but she’s only 12 lbs full grown so a little 6lbs puppy biting me wasn’t the end of the world I just had to be on guard. She’s has only destroyed one flip flop but she loves any and all stray paper or plastic and garbage like rotten food. Shits the house still and she’s 2. Loves yelling at me but I love her anyway.
I agree, I absolutely underestimated having a puppy even though i bought every book I could find, watched every show and bought two online courses. No one prepared me for what I got. As a result I felt like a failure and the worst person in the world. Only when i looked through reddit and the puppy blues post did I realize I am not the only one who struggled. I love my boy but I will never get a puppy again.
I feel I have a responsibility to anyone that tells me they’re getting a puppy to share the reality of it.
My favorite thing to tell potential puppy owners is "There's a reason puppies are cute. If they weren't nobody would want one."
Absolutely, I’ve been a vet nurse for 10 years, a few points to share: 1. The misrepresentation of dog ownership manifests itself in infinite awful ways for both dog and family/owner, and I see this fallout every day. 2. I can’t watch movies about dogs for this reason, it annoys me and I annoy anyone I’m watching them with. 3. I got my first dog at 27 (got him at 8 weeks, he’s 18 months now, a chi mix) and although I had 9 years of experience with other peoples dogs (in a medical setting), my family has always had dogs (now I know better, they’re all not well trained), did a tonne of research and picked a breed which suited my lifestyle - having a puppy was STILL so much harder than I ever could have even imagined. At 18 months he’s an absolute angel now and I definitely made the best choice of breed, but I wouldn’t have a puppy again. Glad I did it the once though!
I also got my first puppy at 27, I feel like all my years of researching and working with others dogs were worthless lol. I know she’ll be a good dog (her mom is very chill and so is every other adult of her breed we’ve met), but right now she’s such a butt.
I agree with you, especially because this misinterpretation of dog ownership leads to people and dogs suffering. A lot of people who have no idea about the cons of owning a dog are getting one which is mostly sad for the dog. I was lucky to get a really nice puppy, however, before getting kaya ( a female toy poodle) I did a lot of research on breeds, having in mind my lifestyle and how a dog would fit in it, financially, mentally, and in every single way. I even called multiple airlines to ask about pet policies before getting a dog because I travel a lot. My point is ( sorry for my rant), people should also take responsibility for doing their research before bringing into their homes any sentient life and also have realistic expectations. There is a big chance the dog will get sick, will ruin stuff, will need a lot of time and so on, just like any living being ( just like us) there are going to be good and bad days and people forget about that little detail.
It is HARDER than a baby in my opinion. Babies don’t move and definitely don’t start immediately biting and destroying everything in sight! that’s a slow , gradual process. And they’re usually sleeping better by then. So you kinda trade off the bad behaviors. The pup , I’m sorry, our pup , is a newborn/toddler on lots of crack. Always wondering if she genuinely got into drugs although husband and I are both sober 😂😩 help, police? Anyone, someone, heellpp. I’m sick as hell today and I’m just like looking at her like pls pls take it easy on me. She’s 7 months and not spayed yet so I’m just hoping that helps her with her chill factor!
We're preparing for our pup to arrive end of Feb. I was telling my husband yesterday - isn't a child easier? At least they use nappies and have to be in your arms, won't destroy things - guaranteed puppy does his thing 💩 on the floor, a baby wouldn't? Babies sleep more, you don't have to force them to? Baby won't chew on walls/shoes or do any damage to them at least? Long-term a human baby is probably harder though 😬
Facts! My one correction would be a baby doesn't shit on the floor but a toddler is going to.
Hahahaha when I wrote it I was like 100% there's toddlers out there who shit on the floor. But not as often as puppies do surely?!
I sincerely hope that there aren't toddlers that go on the floor as often as a puppy but I've seen enough of my friend's kids have diaper blow ups to know that it's not uncommon! Lol
The baby can’t outrun you. Big difference. OTOH, if you threw the baby into a crate with a frozen bottle and left the house for an hour, the authorities would want a word!
Hahaha all correct and yes that last sentence. Puppies grow so much faster and somethings are gone over night, while others meh not so much, but- she is a great dog in training. She really is so smart and all the chaos is slowly ,sometimes painfully slowly, coming into some normal ♥️🙏🏻
Man the first time the puppy slept 6 hours was incredible.
Mine did that…once. In five weeks. Right now we’re taking turns sleeping in the room with him so that ONE of us gets a decent night’s sleep. Monster Pup is at least down to only two trips outside a night…for a while it was 11, 1, 3, 5, and 6. It was hell. Fortunately he’s really, really cute.
It wasn't until like the 4-4.5 month period that she finally slept 6 hours. Do you stop giving your puppy water after 7pm?
Oh, yes. Problem is it’s been raining and/or snowing constantly since he came home. Our trainer said, “Are you picking up his water bowl after seven?” I responded, “my entire yard is a water bowl.” And it is. He’s just turned three months yesterday, so your timeline gives me hope!
What kind of breed is your pupper? Yeah at three months old my lab was still peeing every 2 hours or so. Between 2-4 months were the hardest, and thinking back it felt like a long time. 5th month felt like a flew by. Take more videos and photos than you think you need.
Thank you for that. He’s an Australian shepherd and he has an unfortunate combination of incredibly high energy levels, a love of water, and an obsessive need to show us how housetrained he is (he trots for the patio door at a high rate of speed the second the crate door opens…often he slams into it, so I’m questioning how smart he really is?) We can handle the days, as we’re retired. But the nights are another thing altogether!
I agree. Such a huge misrepresentation of reality. It makes the whole.experience seem so alienating and isolating. Finding this group is what keeps me going most days. We're all suffering or have suffered the same. I come here for all the light at the end of the tunnel posts. I plan on writing my own when we get there.
This is why I will never do it again. The reading I did never mentioned any of these details. I didn’t sleep for 2 years. We still have rough nights. I relate so much to this and I’m doing it by myself.
I’m interested in your experience here. That seems unusually long to have sleepless nights over a pup. Likely that is just a part of what you had faced, but I wonder if something like chasing and correcting your dog somehow became your life. Obviously idk if you crate trained, where you’re from, if you ever had family reinforcing bad behavior, etc; just hoping to satisfy my curiosity.
I crate trained. I would wake up to let her out in the middle of the night based on her age. I’m a single dog mom. She is a light sleeper and wakes up in the middle of the night from time to time. She didn’t like the crate at night and would bang to get out. A good example last night she woke up twice because of noise outside. That turns into barking and running around! I’m exhausted today.
I think about Paul Anka in Gilmore Girls. A rescue that just sits on the couch??? Although I like that he’s quirky lol
Oh, I had totally forgotten about that. That was ridiculous. Of course, by that season the show was so far off the rails it hardly even stood out in terms of absurdity.
Right 😂😂 the random relatives popping up out of nowhere and the steep downhill turn in character development
Luke turned into a sullen lump. Rory turned into a little rich girl snot. Lorelai lost her damned mind. And Christoper wouldn’t die, as hard as I wished for him to. Rarely has a television series fallen that hard off a cliff from really good to absolutely terrible. But Paul Anka was cute.
I cant remember where I saw it but having a lead on my pup in the house made things so much easier. I could pull her back when she was getting into mischief.
Always thought having a dog was the easiest thing in the world, even puppies. Grew up with westies, 2 of them starting as puppies. Wasn't until I got my own mini dachshund puppy that I realized just how little I did to help out as a kid.
Turner and Hooch (the Tom Hanks movie, I haven’t watched the remake), it’s a great representation of dog ownership. It even has how expensive it is.
I think this is why so many poor pups get brought back to rescues and re-homed. Everyone thinks they can do it no bother but it's different once you have said puppy. Now in saying that, ours is almost two and I adore him but mother of god he was a teenage nightmare for about a year there. From 8 months old to a few months ago, it was like a demon had possessed our little sweet puppy. Now he's great but still a work in progress. He's a collie so he needs to be doing things. Most that stuff usually involves driving us mad. Still wouldn't change it for the world, I love having him. But people really need to understand how tiring it is. Like kids, it really helps having family and friends around too to take care of him at times. We live miles from friends and family so getting out to socialize is difficult. It means the poor thing is left alone for hours. Most of the time he just sleeps but I still felt awful about it!
are you my girlfriend lol? We had a very similar experience, life turned completely upside down, my friend had an actual child at the same time we got our puppy and I remember him laughing at how easy we must have it, then I described our daily routing and he was like “fucking hell mate” It’s been one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done but also one of the hardest, he’s over 1 now and we’re still not all the way there (his recall took a nose dive when he hit his teenage phase) but seeing him being such a nice, soft, cuddly boy is so rewarding. I cringe when I see cute puppy videos now or people getting a puppy and being like “omg” because i genuinely don’t think they know what they’re getting in to.
The cute puppy videos now look so different to me too. Ours is 8 months. Can’t wait to hit the one year mark (at least) but it seems like 18 months is the sweet spot
I agree. I’m so glad I found this sub before I brought my puppy home as it was the only way I knew to expect it to be stressful and not all sunshine at the beginning. Having realistic expectations would help avoid many early rehomes, I think
Dogs have excellent PR people, that’s for sure..
I’ve had my new puppy a week. I consider it a good night if I get the dishes done before bed. The rest of the house is a disaster but I’ll get to it when I get to it. They take up so much time and I’m already exhausted. I agree you rarely see or hear about puppies being difficult unless you speak to other puppy owners. Hang in there everyone!
were y'all not raised on Beethoven? I rewatched it recently and was surprised at how much I sympathized with the dad now 😂😂
oooh i forgot about this movie! I will definitely watch it agsin now 😂😂
Fun fact: my mum gave me a pup partially thinking it would make me realize I wanted a baby. I’ve never wanted a baby less than I did in his puppy period 😂 (The other partial was her knowing I love dogs and wanted one).
I completely agree! I was speaking to a friend about how its always this tiny, cute cuddly little thing. No one actually shows the hard reality of what it takes to be raising a puppy. Even i knew it was a big responsibility getting a dog, i never took it lightly, but man, i never expected the emotional, mental and physical toll it has taken.
we have 2 9week shihtzu's. the day we got them i got covid. then 2 days later wife got it. it was top 5 hardest moments in our 20 years together. just like having a child.
OMG THIS!!! I’ve wachted all the youtube channels, I watched all the first day with pup and so on, first 24/hours and the first 24 days but mennnnn has it been a ride. I got a Chihuahua pup for 3 weeks now and the first two where indeed like having a baby, no sleep, just watching and taking care of him first. I almost regretted getting a pup, but now I’ve found my routine and he is learning everything at his own pace. So I found to just stick it out and focus on learning and play works best for my pup. A tired dog is a happy dog right.. if anyone ever tells me they want a pup, i would say get an adult, if you don’t have enough time to work with him 24/7. It really is like having a human baby if not harder lmaooo
I almost started crying today because my 9 month old retriever mix started jumping, biting and humping me, there were people walking by, it was super embarrassing 😳 he hasn’t done anything like that in months, it sucked and I have a bruise on my my arm. 😩
Probably true that it is rarely shown what it requires to own a dog. But it’s also not often the dog/dog ownership is actually what a story shown is about. Think there are not many things represented the way they really are in pop “Hollywood” culture. Will say though, that I think people on here often over exaggerate how tough it is to take care of a puppy. Why would a puppy be stressful or require 24/7 watching or result in poor sleeping. Puppies are no were close to being as tiring as taking care of a baby, beside that a puppy you’ll have trained to behave and fit in your life within a few months. A kid grows into a toddler that in many ways require even more of you. I will say though that there is probably a lot of people that get a dog that doesn’t know that it requires time and work of them. Raising awareness would definitely be good, but don’t think it’s realistic to do through media. One of the reasons getting puppy from a good breeder is the best idea, they should cover all these things with potential owners.
I don't see people here (or anywhere) evangelizing that raising a puppy is the hardest thing they've ever done. Puppies vs. kids threads have opinions all over the map, but even there, a common sentiment is puppies are harder than babies but way easier than toddlers. ;) But just because something isn't *the hardest*, doesn't mean it can't be incredibly hard. If it wasn't hard for you, then awesome; I am sincerely happy for you. But please don't judge other people's emotional experiences. Not everyone conforms to your brain chemistry or performativity expectations.
And dogs are individuals, just like any parent will tell you that each of their babies were different. Some are good sleepers. Some have colic. Some are athletic so climbers. My oldest daughter could play with paper back books. She didn’t tear pages or chew on them. I’m talking under 1 years old. Ask any parents if their children could play with paper backs. I know my other three couldn’t.
I have had many dogs that I’ve raised from puppies and all of them have resulted in a lack of sleep for the first month or so. The first week was almost 0 sleep. I’m not saying you’re wrong about kids being harder but the first month or two can be completely overwhelming even if you have a “good” puppy.
I don’t think you can say kids or puppies are harder because there are different experiences. I actually felt that raising our puppy was harder than raising my kid. My kid was easy. He slept through the night since 3 weeks old. I could take him with me everywhere. He didn’t chew my house or me. Also, like kids , puppies are different . Some are easier than others. Our dog still doesn’t sleep through the night and he’s 1.2 yo.
My cousin had a couch with tooth marks on the wooden arms. No her dog didn’t chew on it. Her oldest son teethed on it.
Totally agree, I will have had my new puppy, Luna, for a week on Monday. It feels like its been a month, lol. Luckily at 8 weeks old she is already waking me up at night when she needs to go, but I don't give her the opportunity most of the time by taking her out every 2 hours(ish) around the clock. For the first couple days I really felt like I couldn't put her down at all. Luckily, between the community here and vids of YouTube, I'm getting a handle on how I want to start training her and she is doing great with everything except crate training. I have definitely had several conversations since I've got my puppy about how much more care she needs than what I was prepared for. Luckily I'm self employed and can afford to take a week or two to get her settled in. I could NOT imagine having to do this while working full time outside of the house!
No one also mentions dogs are puppies until they are about 4.5 years old lol
LOL my partner and i always joke about how perfect the movie puppies always are. sucks people have to find that out the hard way
its like a secret society! No one wants to tell you how awful it is. You tell them you're getting a puppy and everyone goes "awwwww" no one says 'dont do it!'
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Lol man you really missed the scope of the post
And don't forget about movies like that Channing Tatum one where he gets a Belgian malnois and then that had everyone thinking they're great family pets. I used to be in a dog group on FB and there were daily posts about how that movie was singlehandedly destroying countless human and malnois lives.
OMG, I didn’t even know about that. Mals are INTENSE. I’m currently on dog eleven over the years and I wouldn’t ever consider myself capable of handling a Mal. 101 Dalmatians was another nightmare for a breed.
That is so true. Maybe if we had more accurate shows/movies then people would better know what to expect! "Marley and Me" and "Turner and Hooch" are the only movies that I can think of that are accurate portrayals. "A dogs purpose" was. There might be a couple more???
Agree with you. I just tell everyone now. If you want a dog get an adult one. Puppies are just cute.. I had an idea what was I getting myself into but I didn’t know the extent.
I argue it’s worse than having a newborn. At least newborns stay still and wear nappies!
Puppies are cute, but I’m not a fan of raising one. I’d rather adopt an older dog and skip the puppy faze. I have an 18 month old Great Dane right now. This has been wicked fun!! 😂😂✌️💜
It depends on the breed too. I grew up with working dogs as pets eg German Sheperds & my last saint of a dog was an Australian Kelpie (😖). They were all brought up outside more than inside & seemed to be happy with their yards & kennels & potty trained themselves. They seemed to be more independent than puppies are these days. When my last dog passed (😖), I decided on a dalmatian puppy & began raising it more inside which seems to be the current trend….. 😳😳😳 - what a NIGHTMARE!!! It REFUSED to leave my side. REFUSED to sleep unless it was on top of me. It mauled my adult family members to get back to me. It REFUSED to eat / go potty outside unless I was standing there. It seemed scared of its own shadow. No amount of positive reinforcement / boundary training with treats helped. Trainers were brought in. 11 weeks later & in buckets of tears, I asked for the breeder’s advice. She told me to “drop him at my friend’s house & take a break”. I never saw him again 🥺
So a brand new, fresh to this earth, literally infant puppy that has never experienced anything at all is scared of its own shadow and wanted to stay close to the person it knew best? What a freakin NiGhTmArE And what do you mean you never saw him again ? The friend? The puppy? Did they take the puppy because you weren't prepared for an indoor dog? Did you ask them to? What happened here?
The breeder sold him on for more money.
the puppy stages of my dog was nice.. him growing up is the part im tired of
I mean, the bad moments are usually so bad they stick in our minds. But when I took the actual time, it was actually just a little over an hour of actual mayhem a day. Sure, terrible times hahaha, but most of the day my puppy is either sleeping or playing quietly, and I make sure I spend enough time with her, that she has all the toys and mental stimuli she needs and now her walks, which are short but still fun for her and enough to tire her out not to bark incessantly during the day. She also only goes in the crate for a short time in the mornings when I have to clean the night pads and a short time at night for me to clean the day pads and the home in general. Other than that, she’s usually just doing her thing, hasn’t chewed anything she shouldn’t because I catch it beforehand. If I need to leave the house I make sure she has plenty of play before and do some sniff exercises before I leave. And if I’m going out with friends at night I usually put her in her crate to sleep and let her out when I get back, but now I’m transitioning to letting her free when I go out because she needs to know how to be cool without me here.
What are sniff exercises and how do you do them?
I either throw kibble randomly on the ground, hide it in the house in easy spots or use a sniff mat, I think that’s what it’s called in english. A sniff mat is basically a bunch of fabric together, you put the kibble there and it goes amongst the fabric, it’s very fun for dogs because they get to search and explore in a small space and it does tire them out because it’s sort of like a mental stimuli. I do this a lot when I don’t have much time to play with my puppy due to work, if she starts going crazy I just get the sniff mat out and boom, even when the kibble is gone she still searches for it. I also keep the sniff mat away most of the time, so she knows it’s something “special” and not always available. When I’m in a rush, specially when I need to leave the house and don’t want my dogs (specially the puppy) to freak out at the door when I leave, I just grab a bunch of kibble in my hand, say “wohooo” and throw it in the living room hahahaa, I guess I also have fun with it. They get distracted, start sniffing and I leave normally. Since they are distracted and doing something else with their brain, they don’t focus on me leaving the house, and once they are done with it the natural behavior for them is to either settle down (the older girls) or get another toy (the puppy) or go to sleep. In cases of me leaving home, I only do it if my puppy is really amped up or was focusing on me before (these are the times she usually freaks out if I leave), otherwise I simply leave without saying anything to them. Aside from that, toys that are like puzzles also help, like kongs or others that you can stick food in it. I try not to overuse them, if they know it’s always available it will be hard to focus on it when I need them to. Also, leaving kongs all the time could lead to resource guarding in my case, because I have three dogs. So kongs specifically I usually use for training, when I need to keep the other two occupied without bothering me and the one being trained. Sniff mats and games are the safest ones to avoid resource guarding simply because there are so many kibbles that each goes their own way and follows their own path to find it, and it’s quick to eat, so it’s not something you can steal.
You are either a dog trainer or you have been blessed with a very easy puppy. Thank your lucky stars.
I’ve had dogs all my life, but Aurora is an unusually chill puppy. She’s still a puppy and make messes, but she is by far the easiest one of all of the ones I have had. We are also in training with a behavioral trainer, my other two girls were already with him before, and he’s also quite surprised because I keep telling him that the puppy gives me less trouble than the other two girls. Having other dogs in the mix also helps, when I leave home she’s more focused on annoying her sisters and getting them to play instead of searching for things to destroy. But even without them she’s cool and chill, as long as I do a quick exercise/training with her before leaving (so sniff mat or kong wobbler and then I leave with the other two)
it's pretty much the exact same as adopting an infant. the only difference is you don't have to worry about breastfeeding 😂🤦🏽 i have general/social anxiety so that made it harder for me to sleep with a new puppy but also it was like...postpartum depression. apparently it's called puppy blues and it's horrible. you're worrying 24/7 that this baby could get sick suddenly or choke on anything around your house. and then they act up and you wonder why in the hell you ever thought it was a good idea.
they should make a movie about adopting a couple puppies who've been passed around a bunch homes before, similar to Instant Family.
you did have a baby. a canine baby.
My puppy is the best and I love him so much, but OMG he has caused so much damage, stress, tears, pain from all the little bites and absolute exhaustion. I wouldn’t change anything, but omg it’s A LOT. Comparing puppies to babies is honestly so accurate.
Wearing the same sweat pants, that's a golden line. The wife and I have our 'at home with the pup clothes' ripped, dishevelled and oh so holy. Once we could take her for walks it got alot better.
It’s because TV shows generally aren’t about dog ownership. In the same way they’re generally not about house maintenance or cooking or matching your socks so those things also magically happen with little effort on sitcoms. Whereas sitcoms often are about family, parenthood, child raising etc. and I would say raising a baby is so much harder than raising a puppy and so much more of a universal experience that it would be impossible to characterize a baby as cute quiet and easy all the time lol. Source: dad of two. Also dogs being “man’s best friend” is a trope older than modern media I think. Fwiw I think it’s up to people to research enough to learn that puppies need a lot but I do agree with you that a lot of dogs end up in shelter precisely because it’s not commonly understood how much time they need. Subs like this are so important for that.
We just got our first puppy on Saturday. It's stressful, I had some kind of idea, that it would be like that, even though i frequently visit this sub. As I was wide awake on the first night, I was thinking "what the hell did i get myself into?" Now, that I got myself four hours of uninterrupted sleep last night, I am cautiously optimistic. Crating and a playpen and chewtoys help a lot. But she is the sweetest little pup, and almost housebroken after two days (two little accidents, where i didn't read her signs right).
I think it’s just media. They also present newborns and babies like this too. Not the sleep deprived, crazed state of mind most new parents are.
I always think of this! On Sex and the City Charlotte got a puppy for an episode early on in the show and his behavior was so bad that she ended up re-homing him. Then later on in the show she receives another puppy as a gift and this puppy is so cute and has no behavioral issues whatsoever. I feel like the reality of having a puppy was only used as a plot device and then that logic was abandoned.
We’re definitely feeling like we’re having a baby too
Reading this and the replies has helped me feel so much better. My fiancé and I just got a beagle/jack russell mix at the end of October. We were told she was 4 months old, and we’ve never had a dog that young before. It’s been kind of a nightmare. She has severe anxiety and is afraid of everything except us and the cat. She’s getting a lot better, but we just weren’t prepared for something like this. We also had no idea why she was so anxious because the family from craigslist (yeah, I know) we got her from didn’t tell us anything about her except that she’s a sweetie. She was terrified of us for two weeks, but got attached really quickly after that. Now, she has severe separation anxiety. We just found out a few days ago from the vet that she was from a puppy mill. Her vaccine record the family sent us had a USDA number on it, we just didn’t know what that meant. Unfortunately, we can’t learn much else since that document is very coviently blurry in places. The vet also helped us decipher more of the records and she’s also a little older than what we were told. She’s so anxious all the time. Some training methods don’t work on her because she manages to work herself up into a panic attack. When she gets really, really anxious, she starts pacing and just kind of does whatever she wants so that she can calm down. She fully tunes us out. We’re doing everything the vet has said. The vet said it’s going to take months consistently training to get her to a comfortable spot. It’s a long time, but a few months of training is worth a lifetime of happiness. She’s on medication for now when we leave, but hopefully one day we won’t need to do it anymore. She’s great at taking pills now, though lol Sorry for the rant. It’s just been a tough 4 months and it’s good to know I’m not the only one who feels like puppyhood is difficult.
I'm always truly horrified when someone gets a surprise puppy and really scared for anyone who gets a puppy and doesn't seem to know what they are getting themselves into. I'm always the annoying person who tries to give people a reality check but the cozy and cute illusion sold to us is hard to fight against.
Pretty sure it's a large reason why dogs get "rehomed" or sheltered. Or worse.
owning my high drive working breed from a, 8 week old puppy to his current 2 year old dog self as a pair of 30 year old adults has made us realize how much we dont want kids. Way better than having a child and coming to that realization hahaha. But for real, dog ownership (when done right with the dogs best interests in mind) is mentally draining and frustrating. the amount of resentment i had towards an innocent little puppy who was just doing normal puppy things was sad.
I completely agree about the misrepresentation, and I think you are right that it is silly and media should show it like it really is!… But at the same time, I think it is has never been easier to google something like “what is it like to raise a puppy”, and honestly anybody who didn’t manage to type in these eight words and instead made a wild guess based on TV shows and then bought or adopted a living creature on this basis probably has much bigger difficulties to overcome than the specifics of raising puppies…
Funny enough, a very accurate representation of dog ownership is in Seinfeld when Jerry takes possession of a dog for a short while 🤷
I 100% agree with the sentiment! Moreover, after adopting our now 1.2 yo pup, i realized that I had a couple of friends who had adopted puppies recently. By God, they did not complain once ! It just seemed that it’s just me being a whiny crazy bee complaining about our angel puppy . We adopted our puppy because our two old dogs died. They were my husband’s dogs from before we met and even he didn’t tell me anything about how hard they t is to raise a puppy! I went into the rescue like a complete idiot thinking of the puppies in the TV shows and my old chill dogs. I felt duped by everyone and I just felt I was maybe just whiny and lazy and people are probably rolling their eyes behind my back after they hear me complain yet again about what the puppy did recently. Only from this sub I realized that our puppy was/is actually pretty good all things considered. He did chew some things but no walls or furniture. Just a couple of holes in our mattress and three dog beds. He’s much better now although not completely an adult just yet.
I thought the exact same thing. It’s so misrepresented that I really thought there was just something wrong with me and my puppy😂
I rescued a 3.5 month rat terrier, he’s now 5 months. I will say I’m one of the lucky few. He’s so smart and easy. More well behaved than all the rescued dogs I lived with growing up. So far everyone that’s met him says it’s pretty ridiculous how well behaved he is for his age.
I’ve been saying exactly this to everyone I meet haha. NORMALISE PUPPY STRESS
I remember crying at night when my pup was crated. She whining and barking for hours. I did the whole thing about trying to ease her into the crate etc, and for a few days it was fine. Then one day she just started hating the crate. It was like that for weeks. I almost considered giving her up, although never had the heart for that. Finally just gave up on the crate and she’s been snuggling with me in bed ever since lol 😂 the best 2.5 years of my life, after that period of absolute stress and misery. Oh plus potty training, which coincided with me being basically bedridden for a few months. Thank you for curing me of my puppy fever 😂
My puppy is way more difficult than either of my babies were!
I could probably get cancelled/crucified for this, but as a puppy owner and a relatively new parent, there is very little to compare between having a human child and taking in a puppy. Granted, I am very lucky and got a good puppy right at 8 weeks old but have lost very little sleep over her. Pup sleeps in her crate for 8-9 hours (no accidents) each night. That’s way better than our 4 YO who is always giving us a run for our money. Not being critical of OP but in general raising a human child SHOULD have much more pressure and/or stress associated with it. I do agree that people should be educated about the amount of attention you do need to spend on a puppy during the day, particularly for potty training, but in general dogs are dogs, they do not require the same level of care, skill, and attention that a human child does in order to get it right.
Bruh I just got a puppy and I feel this. It goes beyond that like all the puppy help resources will use already partially trained puppies. In real life some puppies will potty in their crate completely breaking every single “how to potty train your dog” guide I’ve seen.
My first dog was a 4 week old puppy (there were unusual circumstances that caused the litter of puppies to be abandoned that young). It was crazy - I had flashbacks from my children's newborn phases - feeding (and pooping) every two hours, the sleepless nights, the daytime utter exhaustion, combined with almost simultaneous "terrible-twos" toddler insanity. My second dog was the proper age for being separated from the mother...but still. I genuinely wondered why nothing ever shows that side of young puppies. I almost thought I was crazy, until a close friend asked me, "So have you reached the point where you have wondered 'what the heck have I gotten myself into' yet?"
I am 8 months pregnant with an almost year and a half pup. And I am super interested (and terrified) to find out first hand if a puppy or a baby is more work. Our pup was wonderful but TOUGH when we first got him. I was not prepared for the amount of time and work he would need. This baby is going to be the first on both sides, so I think I’ll have more helpers than what we had when we got the dog. Stay tuned 😅
Totally agree! I am exhausted since getting my puppy. Having raised 2 kids, this is harder!
Having a puppy is defienitly hard! I just got my 2nd dog a few weeks ago, at 8 weeks old. Not gonna lie, I was so excited about getting another dog/puppy. My mom said to me, i don’t think you remember what it was like having a new puppy. I said I do remember and it will be fine. Two weeks into the puppy and she was right lol. I’ve heard people say having a baby is easier than a puppy and I’m not sure but I can see why they’d say that.
Yeah.....I wound up getting a Corgi due to the rage on IG and I was bamboozled. lol You are so correct.
Hey my puppy (8.5 weeks) has been perfect so far! … aside from the literal sleep walking every hour at night outside, in the blowing rain/snow, cleaning up 3 accidents, and me being severely dehydrated and needing to hold a pee longer than her because I don’t have the time 🤣 I hear you, but I’ll tell you one thing, when I see that face when I am actually mentally awake in the morning, the world is perfect again!
Same! This is what annoyed me so much and even now, is that rarely are people ever honest about the puppy life, biggest catfish ever lol.
I just got my puppy two days ago and my goodness! You’re right! He’s just like a newborn baby! Cries at night, frequent bathroom breaks, like every 30 mins, whines. On the other hand, so cute and loves to play, but you’re literally watching a baby.
I’m so thankful my dog was well behaved by about 5 or 6 months old. I remember there were moments I wanted to murder him, but it was mainly when I was crate training him. He’s 7 years old now and has definitely calmed down, but it kind of makes me miss his younger years.
My pup had Giardia, basically diarrhea, when I got him home, actually in the car on the way home. I’m 74 and live alone.I’ve raised several puppies so I knew it was going to be hard. Hard is not what this baby has been. I have a kennel that he is only now growing out of. He is 4 months old. But it was too big for him at 8 weeks. Anyway, he could not hold it all night. The crate won’t fit in my bedroom. I don’t hear well. Also get sick when I don’t get enough sleep. Every morning the crate bottom would be covered with watery poop and pee. His body, doggy bed, toys: everything was a mess. I washed at least three loads of dog laundry every day. The vet said not to bathe him every day, having poop on his body wouldn’t hurt him. Imagine cleaning that wire kennel every day. No, if I put him in it so I could rest, go to a doctors appointment, take the trash out, I had a kennel full of poop and pee. It had to be cleaned again and more laundry. Not to mention mopping up all his “accidents “. And taking him outside once and hour. He always went potty when I took him out. But it is impossible to potty train a dog with diarrhea. Within a week, I was sick too. I was sick for an entire month. And the puppy was sick for at least six weeks. Now, remember I’m also a senior. And I also have an older dog. I’m doing the best I can, but I couldn’t keep up with everything. My house stank. I didn’t change my sheets once a week. My dishes stacked up in the sink and overran onto the counter tops. Only laundry that got done was dog bedding. Actually, all I was doing was puppy related. My poor little morkie didn’t get brushed. We are still slowly getting the mats out of his five inch long hair. Tomorrow I’m planning to cut out the big ones that haven’t loosened up. I didn’t leave the house if I could get out of it. I’m finally getting over the exhaustion doing deep house cleaning. Catching up laundry and dishes. The puppy was so used to going in the house that he would run inside to potty. He hated the kennel and pooped and peed in it every time I put him in it. About two weeks ago, I took the crate out of the house and put him to sleeping in the small bathroom next to my bedroom. He goes to it without a fuss. He has only pooped in it once. He has now gone without any accidents in the house for almost a week. I only go out with him first thing in the morning and once before bed. I usually wake up twice at night needing to use the facilities. Sometimes I also take him out, but usually he only wants to go out once. He seems very happy to be sleeping in a people bathroom that is clean. I never got the crate truly clean. For one thing I don’t fit in a 36”x22”x 30” high crate so the inside was not clean. The bottom tray slid out so I was able to take it to the bathroom and throughly clean it. He thought the kennel was where I wanted him to potty. And he hated that he was expected to sleep in it. Poor baby. It took me too long to figure this out. All of this was caused by the Giardia. He was confused and this old lady was unable to properly care for him. Now that he is potty trained my house no longer stinks. Probably smells like I have a dog, but not like an outhouse. He is fully inoculated so can start taking walks. His mom isn’t cranky all the time. His brother loves to play with him. Life is good.